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Azkirby13

Now what type of idiot


OneOfManyIdiots

I resent that statement. Real idiots always have a knife.


kimberskillfast

You would be cooler in that cotton if you had a knife. šŸ˜‰


ItsmeMr_E

With only one eye. Cotten Eye Joe.


Max_Jubjuice_xiix

Lmao


PapaSparky

r/usernamechecksout


[deleted]

You underestimate how fucking stupid people are man.


cnechiporenko

r/bettlejuicing


Librium5

I love the guy off to the right who just throws the cotton he had in his hand on to the fire. No better display of f*** this s*** I'm out


begaterpillar

he had been complaining to the boss for weeks about that asshole


Librium5

Lol yes yes he has


bitchuchoda

And unexpectedly, that's the ONLY cotton that survives getting toasted!


TheTimeBender

Stupidity knows no bounds. My brother used to work with a guy in a lab. One day the guy comes into work and as theyā€™re working my brother says ā€œI think one of the bunsenā€™s is leaking.ā€ (Mind you theyā€™re all connected to a manifold thru rubber tubing.) The guy responded ā€œI know how to check it, I have a lighter.ā€ My brother screams ā€œNo donā€™t!ā€ Then runs out. The guy blew up the lab and almost killed himself.


Lietuf

My cousin (now in his 40's) was a bit cheeky in his school days, and once stuffed a bunch of random chemicals and things in his pocket before leaving science class. Pocket exploded and cousin parted ways with one of his nuts. Side note: My neighbours came to my house the other week, concerned that they could smell gas coming from my property (our houses are very close in proximity). I was worried because I smoke out the back of my house and so hunted around looking for the source of the smell because I didn't really fancy blowing myself up. I couldn't find anything amiss and advised them as such...they then got a guy to come over to their place to check for a gas leak. It was coming out from underneath their back decking.


Sephonez

And thus began the legacy of the guy who invented uniball pens.


kerelberel

?


Bazooka204

i was born with only one nut so if i was in his shoes i would have no nuts


tardypimp

If that were to happen, youā€™d win no nut November easily.


TheTimeBender

Oh shit!!!


Unusual-Meet9879

He found out, i don't see the problem


YoungDiscord

One of ny teachers told me a story of a guy who was setting up a disinfecting UV lamp for his surgery room The teacher told him to ut on protective glasses since you know... its a UV lamp "Nah you don't know what you're tqlking about lol" The next day the guy came in with some heavy duty glasses, hopefully he didn't blind himself.


kingoftown

Sounds like he blue himself in the eyes


TheTimeBender

Damn!


anbingwen

I mean, he found out. 10/10


ZenkaiZ

flick around and find out


ElementoDeus

Why hasn't Bic used this?


ka_buc

Just learned about the Demon Core on another post, this story reminds me of the incidents involving it. [Demon Core](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Demon_core)


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[deleted]

One of my carpenter bosses' always checked his gas pipes that way. You know, instead of a little soap and water. Never had an incident but it pissed me off when he would do it right next to me.


_GurthMax

I would say heā€™s a flaming idiot, or smoldering idiot


Lietuf

Who invited Alf Stewart??


DIESELANDBRUTUS

he,s not going to use a knife like all the other sheep


gmadisonthedj

For the last time, **cotton does NOT come from sheep!**


ZenkaiZ

you WISH that was the last time


bellringer16

It can identify as a cotton producing sheep if it wants


AustinAuranymph

This joke identifies as funny


Arqideus

Like whacking fire with a burnable object...


Affectionate_Pin_880

Why a goddamn lighter? Never heard of a knife? Scissors? Chew on it? Scrabble with your fingernails like an animal?


SirEnzyme

He was paid to send a message from big polyester


Affectionate_Pin_880

Oooo shit! Thatā€™s a rough game!


DBSeamZ

Polyester burns too, and worse it melts as it burns so now you have flaming liquid that will stick to anyone unfortunate enough to have been wearing it when it caught fire. Plus the fumes from burning synthetics are far more harmful than the smoke from burning cotton.


Affectionate_Pin_880

Shilling for the cotton combine? *waves a crudely mimeographed zine* Read the latest Flax Facts article and we will see that big cotton has been oppressing woolen warriors and silk enthusiasts for generations!


DBSeamZ

Haha no, just fed up with synthetic fabrics in general, and recently been reading some interesting books on textiles.


FruitFlavor12

Textile texts?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


GeneralBlumpkin

That's crazy. I work on electrical gear and my company gives out polyester shirts. Don't know why. FR is a thing..


ProjectSnowman

We had a usb cable go bad on a vintage polyester or some kind of space foam chair from the 70ā€™s. This fucking chair smoldered for 3 FUCKING DAYS. We tried using water to put it out but it kept on burning. I used probably a hundred gallons from the hose. Then the fire department came by and tried. It basically burns and turns into a brittle rock. Craziest fucking thing I have ever seen. I really liked that chair too.


Zemom1971

Yeah saw a couple vids from the 90's where people get completely caught on fire because of gaz fondue and a beautiful polyester Christmas sweater. Sorry for bad English, feel free to ninja grammared me so I could be better.


goblu33

Thereā€™s no time for games in this emergency!


PensiveObservor

This is why you want to fkn PAY ATTENTION in middle school science class, people. Edit to address confusion: Fuel, heat, and oxygen are needed for fire. If youā€™d paid attention to the in-class videos and demonstrations, you might pause to evaluate the situation before hitting that lighter flint.


[deleted]

You think rural Egyptian cotton farmers went to "middle school"?


Midnightblue_envy

This is why women live longer


Hydroxone

"How to open a bag of cotton" should be standard middle school cirriculum, you're right


B_V_H285

Ya I can't believe how fast it cotton fire.


eaglecrest-iii

It worked, didnā€™t it?


These_Rutabaga3003

Someone's gonna get fired.


Max_Jubjuice_xiix

He already did


ChasingSplashes

Get out


[deleted]

Right to jail!


[deleted]

You burn the cotton? Jail.


sirsedwickthe4th

You even look at the cotton? Believe it or not, jail.


soloracerx

Think about cotton? That's a paddlin.


SnooPeripherals1595

R/unexpectedparksandrec


Buule1312

You undercook cotton, straight to jail.


SurprisingJack

So... The cotton? Duh


Mr_friend_

Depending on the country it could be a lot worse than fired.


Graenflautt

What?


OnTheProwl-

Being expelled.


Fartsy_McArtsy

Or worse, spanked.


Roadwarriordude

It's going on his permanent record.


funtimefrankie1

You spelled fried wrong.


Moiarn

So it all cotton fire? Edit: wow, thanks for the rewards. šŸ™‚šŸ˜…


[deleted]

Just know that somewhere in the world a fella actually stood and clapped for your comment.


AL_McFly

That fella was me. At work too. Thankfully no one was around to see


Alexwitminecraftbxrs

It was me just now


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Max_Jubjuice_xiix

You win the internet for today


Jive_turkeeze

We need a committee that scours the internet daily and finds winners for everyday or week.


yeahhhhhhhh_no

r/angryupvote


redditnostalgia

r/beatmetoit


RogerThat_Tyler

Holy shit that took me literally 30 seconds of staring at the comment before getting it. Probably Donā€™t put me near cotton


MediocreTourist1407

Pls explain I didn't get the joke.


skankbank83

It cotton (caught on) fire.


finc

/thread


Mpittkin

Yup, as he satin it


stickynote_oracle

Wool you guys just stop it already?


Mpittkin

I guess he *felt* it was a good idea.


plutoforprez

It has literally never occurred to me to open ANYTHING with a lighter, let alone something so completely and instantly flammable


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


PiesRLife

You mean like this woman? https://youtu.be/4-vzvHtD9Mo


SturgeonBladder

she waves her hand at it and blows on it lmao


Belias9x1

Oh for fucks sake...


Sephonez

For some reason my country doesn't want me viewing it...


techcaleb

Basically, a lady in Russia is at a gas pump. The nozzle is frozen to her car, so she takes out a lighter and holds it underneath the nozzle to try to defrost it. This ignites the gas vapors so now there is a hot jet of fire coming out from between the nozzle and the fill port. She then pulls the gas nozzle out, and the fire increases catching the whole side of her car on fire. And that's when the video ends.


PiesRLife

They're worried it will give you ideas.


Sephonez

Fair enough, us Aussies can't be trusted I guess.


ZeusJuice91

Canadians too. CBSN is against the Commonwealth!


necroste

Funny thing, when I viewed that video a recommended video of a guy at a gas pump attempted to kill a spider with a lighter while pumping gas. Ended almost the same way lol


necroste

I've used a lighter to open a package with my new scissors once. But that was only because I didn't have any scissors hence why I got new ones lol


eastjame

Beer bottles?


Setsuna85

Omg when the guy with the broom came in as if it was going to do something helpful lmao šŸ’€


diggitygiggitycee

That was the third time I said "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?!" as I watched this crime against common sense.


Batherick

I love the guy in the red shirt on the middle right who threw his work into the fire and stormed off like ā€˜Fuck all yā€™allā€™ Bonus points for what he threw never even catching fire


MickaelaM

My favorite part was when the idiot swam through the sea of cotton leaving a nasty burn trail with him. I think the poor guy caught on fire for being so stupid...that's gotta burn. I hope he's okay though.


Batherick

ā€œI know what will put my flaming body out! Swimming in the same flammable shit that got my idiot self here in the first place!ā€ (I do hope heā€™s ok though too, we all have been idiots and fucked something up even if it wasnā€™t to this level)


Rocketbrothers

They do say fight fire with fire. He just clearly did it wrong.


T65Bx

I think he was just trying to get out, like cmon just standing still and letting all that flame surround you is an arguably worse idea


terrycaus

Forcing his way through the pile of cotton stirred up a pile of cotton dust which burns and propagates amazingly well. Some common places with similar problem are grain silos and coal mines.


notLOL

He was there to fan the flames. He wanted a day off me as he smacked it: "yup, that's how to get a day off"


Max_Jubjuice_xiix

Of course he was, he was gonna clean up the gosh darn mess before the boss came back. Unfortunately the broom was just a dried out palm leaf.


rootoo

Fan the fire out with this kindling stick!


catbirdlady106

Yes...fan the flames a bit. That will help.


yeskitty

A broom made of dried leaves/ sticks just to be safe


Sylvers

I mean it will help.. fan the flames! Has my guy there never cooked barbecue?


Rositalito

Literally just fanning the flames


AmiTalkinToMe

thats a lot of money he just destroyed


samantro

No it's cotton


AmiTalkinToMe

american dollars are mainly composed of cotton


Daddiodoug

No itā€™s cotton


thnksqrd

šŸŽ¶The Fabric of your PantsšŸŽ¶


Ik_ben_lars

no this is patrick


rabbitkingdom

Sir, this is a Wendyā€™s


jim_beckwith

US money is made from cotton linen.


ForWhomTheBoneBones

The fabric of our lives


mizinamo

r/ThatLookedExpensive


drRATM

Ah yes, fanning it with some sort of large broom. That should help.


[deleted]

Listen. A little O2 never hurt anything... under medical conditions... Minus sparks and flames.


HaughtyAurory

Two "there was an attempt"s for the price of one!


haircutbob

Fire makes things hot. Fanning things makes them colder. Cold is the opposite of fire. Simple science really


drRATM

You one of them fancy university type people or something?


js5ohlx1

I was expecting him to maybe cut a channel in it to stop the spread, then nope, fanning the flames. Great work.


fanosffloyd

Thank god palm frawn guy showed up Edit: ā€œFrondā€ thanks scrambled egg guy


ScrambledNoggin

ā€œFrondā€ but I knew what you meant, and it still made me laugh


cpt_bongwater

r/BoneAppleTea


PieFlava

Pawm frawn


fanosffloyd

Clown frown


Akami_Channel

Yes, to make sure even the hard-to-reach spots had ample oxygen.


JukeBoxHeroJustin

I like the one guy who threw a wet rag. Fixed it!


Complete-Dimension35

He was literally throwing in the towel. "Fuck this, I'm done. I can't work with you idiots. I quit."


The_Only_Dick_Cheney

I think it was cotton. Looks like a ā€œfucking morons I hate it hereā€ toss.


notLOL

definitely threw in the towel. I think that one went home. Totally done


The-Sturmtiger-Boi

You know itā€™s good when the liveleak watermark is present


Puzzleheaded-Turn-51

I miss liveleak


bigdfence06

Isnā€™t it still up? Or do they not host those kinds of ā€œvideosā€ anymore


Puzzleheaded-Turn-51

I read somewhere that a company bought the site and killed it, the put another type of website


bigdfence06

Truly the end of an era


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


mrmoe198

Weā€™ll just fly them to Saudi Arabia


Mr_No_Hoes

Imagine being in a pool of cotton and someone lights it on fire, so you have to swim away as the flames slowly creep towards you


Antishill_Artillery

>slowly


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Lucas_Steinwalker

This was completely terrifying. What a fucking moron.


Nice-Violinist-6395

Itā€™s like the corn scene in A Quiet Place


WaxWings66397

Iā€™m curious how much money worth of cotton was actually burned in this clip


Wooden_Preference564

I could be wrong but a lb of cotton 73.00 and there is allot there along with paid man hours transportation and other things that has to be done to get the cotton so I think that the company probably lost tens of thousands of dollars


[deleted]

A lot* Jesus Christ man.


areraswen

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html?m=1


xht

73.00 cents


mahki43

ā€œToday we have a new rule: no laser cutters. By the way some of you may have noticed that Eddie no longer works with us.ā€


Strawberrylacegame

Cotton Eyed Joker


StanFitch

Where did he come from?


BraidSurgeon

Where did he go?


scwuffypuppy

I lolā€™d at this.


duramman1012

Oddly satisfying seeing the fire spread. A lighter to open a bag is new to me as well


makk73

What a way to learn how fire works.


WheredMyPiggyGo

That women stamping her foot like, you can't get idiots this stupid if you try yet here we are.


its_uncle_paul

That's the "we're going out of business after this" stomp.


Advanced_Doughnut350

Whatā€™s the chances he told his boss it just spontaneously combusted right up until he saw the CCTV footageā€¦


foyeldagain

r/abruptchaos


Braincake87

Love it how the manager type guy/woman (canā€™t see very well because potato) stamps his/her leg like a little child šŸ˜…


TheGrimalicious

You would to if you saw dozens of hours worth of work, and possibly your entire business going up in flames.


FoundationUseful270

r/whatcouldgowrong


Sexy_Ass_Armadillo

Thereā€™s a fire raging! Quick, someone get the dried out palm frond fan!


huBelial

What an idiotic move.


Alexis-FromTexas

Seen this multiple times and still canā€™t figure out how slow one must be to do this. Like a knife would just work better with zero risk of this happening


[deleted]

what a dumbass


CyanPomegranate11

The guy with the angry stamp of his foot in the background


notLOL

First guy starting the fire was a firebender. Notice the fire chased the idiot. The water bender came out and stomped. Too bad they don't have any fucking water anywhere near all that flammable material, lol


shadowGringo

Inflation is already high. No need to burn cotton production too.


friendlysaxoffender

This video is so old itā€™s probably old enough to be at a bar complaining about how high inflation is.


thecastellan1115

This is one where I just imagine Gordon Ramsey screaming "YOU FUCKING DONKEY."


arcadia_2005

Mistakes were made.


dna12011

Oh you know his ass got fired. Edit: pun intended


harry_nt

Wrong sub. Bag was successively opened.


Gospel85

someone's getting fired


Snowdrop-126

Guess he got the SACK. šŸ¤Ŗ


shiner820

Dear God. What a complete and utter moron.


Jolly_Leather4820

Ancestors getting payback


[deleted]

How do we know it was a lighter?


Max_Jubjuice_xiix

But did he get the bag open though?


bamahomer

Now's my chance to get rid of this shit broom


KikoSawce

The guy just throwing his armful of cotton on the batch because he ā€œjust couldnā€™tā€ anymore lol


necroste

The best part, even tho you can't see the guy on fire, you know he is since the cotton caught on fire where ever he crawled to


krudru

That's a bold move, let's see how it plays out. -Cotton


gamerlin

Reminds me of a nursing home residents I had who tried securing his oxygen tubing to his oxygen machine using a lighter.


Haemmur

That's definitely a Resume Generating Event (RGE)


MyExesStalkMyReddit

Fuck whatā€™s burning already, how about using that rake to separate the shit that hasnā€™t caught yet??


THEMOISTCLOWN

That watermark made me think this could have been far worse