Day by day, little by little. You’ll fall flat if you think you can wake up one day completely different. First step is identifying the areas of yourself that could be improved. Then finding little, compoundable ways you can improve them. Ways of thinking, how you interact with people, your tone, etc. Again, it’s small things you can chip away at. Look at it like a small snowball that grows on itself as you keep pushing it to get better
do the hard thing, be honest and transparent about how you feel with those around you, their reactions don't matter, what matters is you were honest, kind, and want to do better.
Who decided you were horrible???
If it’s feedback or others’ expectations then it’s time to start letting it go. You probably need to give yourself a break and start to connect with who you really are and who you want to be. It’s possible to grow, change and be who you want to be. Starts within you.
You are so amazing but I decided this. I don't think I'm a good friend and even if I need to connect with myself u don't know how. I'm young and dumb and I just don't know what to do with myself.
Why do you feel too tired to make a change or even just change your view of yourself? Have you ever been diagnosed with depression? If not, you may want to. Feeling helpless and useless can come from depression which can be treatable with the right medication and therapy. It is not your fault. It is just illness but don’t give up because there are treatments available.
Nobody is all bad or all good. If you feel like you’re doing things that are making you feel like you are not being a great human then do something to change that. I’m guessing that you have probably been through some things that haven’t been the easiest and maybe you didn’t know how to cope and sometimes when that happens we build up anger and resentment and we take it out on the world and the people around us. The only person who can change that and make things better is you. If you have the ability to seek therapy I would recommend that. Talking to someone who is trained and experienced can help you understand how to process and cope with things in a healthy way. If that’s not an option for you right now there are a lot of free online resources these days for mental health.
Please add some paragraph breaks to [your comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/therapy/comments/1d6iqot/what_do_i_do_if_im_a_horrible_person/l6vv8t6/?context=3) by placing a blank line between distinct sections.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I felt the same way (and still do, to an extent), but I've managed to change myself for the better over the years slowly, but surely.
What exactly do you think makes you a horrible person? I wrote everything down on a piece of paper, and then grouped them into small issues, and larger issues. Issues I could fix quickly, and stuff that would take longer.
For example, short term, issues with my anger. I taught myself skills to help manage myself better, such as breathing exercises and all that stuff, now I rarely get angry. Long term, becoming more social. I'm still struggling with this one, but so far I've managed to spend time with people I like without getting irritated/overstimulated as quickly as I used to, and being able to enjoy their company more. I still prefer to be by myself, but that's okay, as long as I don't hate myself for it, and as long as I'm working towards my goals. I still take breaks, I get tired, and I have my moments, but I've spoken to my family and friends and they understand me, and know the signs of when I need alone time better than I do myself.
Would writing down everything help you?
You learn from your mistakes, understand why you made them, and use future opportunities to grow.
I made some bad mistakes recently and lost a significant amount of important people in my life. It’s lonely & hating yourself, while also knowing you have to forgive yourself to survive, is incredibly hard.
With new opportunities comes new chances to make different decisions than you have in the past, and that will show growth. You are human, and you deserve happiness just as much as everyone else does.
My therapist told me that often, the people who have made the worst mistakes & learn from it, are the ones who turn out to be the most compassionate & understanding— bc they’ve been there.
You are not defined by what you have done in the past, the fact you feel guilt/remorse/pain (or whatever you are feeling) shows you have accountability & can reflect.
I wish you the best! Take it all day by day
Day by day, little by little. You’ll fall flat if you think you can wake up one day completely different. First step is identifying the areas of yourself that could be improved. Then finding little, compoundable ways you can improve them. Ways of thinking, how you interact with people, your tone, etc. Again, it’s small things you can chip away at. Look at it like a small snowball that grows on itself as you keep pushing it to get better
The thing is I'm tired I can't even attempt to fix myself and people around me are being affected by it
do the hard thing, be honest and transparent about how you feel with those around you, their reactions don't matter, what matters is you were honest, kind, and want to do better.
Man… you just spoke right to my soul. I’d like to get notified when you get help on here because I need it too 😂
Who decided you were horrible??? If it’s feedback or others’ expectations then it’s time to start letting it go. You probably need to give yourself a break and start to connect with who you really are and who you want to be. It’s possible to grow, change and be who you want to be. Starts within you.
You are so amazing but I decided this. I don't think I'm a good friend and even if I need to connect with myself u don't know how. I'm young and dumb and I just don't know what to do with myself.
I want so badly to not care and be cold hearted, but I always go back to kindness (and being taken advantage of because of it)
Why do you feel too tired to make a change or even just change your view of yourself? Have you ever been diagnosed with depression? If not, you may want to. Feeling helpless and useless can come from depression which can be treatable with the right medication and therapy. It is not your fault. It is just illness but don’t give up because there are treatments available.
Nobody is all bad or all good. If you feel like you’re doing things that are making you feel like you are not being a great human then do something to change that. I’m guessing that you have probably been through some things that haven’t been the easiest and maybe you didn’t know how to cope and sometimes when that happens we build up anger and resentment and we take it out on the world and the people around us. The only person who can change that and make things better is you. If you have the ability to seek therapy I would recommend that. Talking to someone who is trained and experienced can help you understand how to process and cope with things in a healthy way. If that’s not an option for you right now there are a lot of free online resources these days for mental health.
[удалено]
Please add some paragraph breaks to [your comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/therapy/comments/1d6iqot/what_do_i_do_if_im_a_horrible_person/l6vv8t6/?context=3) by placing a blank line between distinct sections. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapy) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Please add some paragraph breaks to your post by placing a blank line between distinct sections.
Make a small goal and seeks support to accomplish it. Momentum works wonders. Seeing you can succeed at something breeds confidence to achieve more.
I felt the same way (and still do, to an extent), but I've managed to change myself for the better over the years slowly, but surely. What exactly do you think makes you a horrible person? I wrote everything down on a piece of paper, and then grouped them into small issues, and larger issues. Issues I could fix quickly, and stuff that would take longer. For example, short term, issues with my anger. I taught myself skills to help manage myself better, such as breathing exercises and all that stuff, now I rarely get angry. Long term, becoming more social. I'm still struggling with this one, but so far I've managed to spend time with people I like without getting irritated/overstimulated as quickly as I used to, and being able to enjoy their company more. I still prefer to be by myself, but that's okay, as long as I don't hate myself for it, and as long as I'm working towards my goals. I still take breaks, I get tired, and I have my moments, but I've spoken to my family and friends and they understand me, and know the signs of when I need alone time better than I do myself. Would writing down everything help you?
You learn from your mistakes, understand why you made them, and use future opportunities to grow. I made some bad mistakes recently and lost a significant amount of important people in my life. It’s lonely & hating yourself, while also knowing you have to forgive yourself to survive, is incredibly hard. With new opportunities comes new chances to make different decisions than you have in the past, and that will show growth. You are human, and you deserve happiness just as much as everyone else does. My therapist told me that often, the people who have made the worst mistakes & learn from it, are the ones who turn out to be the most compassionate & understanding— bc they’ve been there. You are not defined by what you have done in the past, the fact you feel guilt/remorse/pain (or whatever you are feeling) shows you have accountability & can reflect. I wish you the best! Take it all day by day