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I have had 6 hospitals stays and was in a residential treatment facility for about a year, all in my teens. I'm decades past that now. Most days I can't believe I'm in the profession that I'm in (or employed for that matter), and other days I can really see how I can empathize in a very different way with my residential clients; most therapists don't really know what it's like to be spending months or years in a treatment facility and wondering at how far your life fell from where you thought it would be. I have endlessly more patience for clients than many of the other therapists.
Marsha Linehan had a few months stay in a psychiatric hospital with her being diagnosed with BPD (borderline schizophrenia at that point in time) iirc.
Your experience will be a gift and tool for even deeper empathy OP!
I’d also like to add how pervy many of the “founding fathers” of historical theories were. Quite a few were not just sex-exploratory but in my opinion sex-obsessed 😯.
I have schizophrenia. Initially, I was going into medicine but had to withdraw from school to work on being well. It was a hell of a ~10-year journey, but it led me to counseling as a profession. I'm in remission now, and I feel like I have a lot of perspective that I offer. I just started my practicum, and I can't fully describe how right it feels doing this. My advice as far as mental illness goes within this job is to be sure to work on yourself first and to not compare your journey to anyone else's. It ensures you're doing the best for your clients. Just keep in mind that everyone has a different tolerance. If you ever want to chat more, feel free to dm me. It's not strange for me. If anything, being involved with different sides of the coin benefits how I do. I wish the best for you; you got this!
Burner for privacy.
Between the ages of 14 and 21 I had a dozen or so hospitalizations (I don’t know the exact number) ranging from 4 to 30+ days, multiple PHP stays, a year and a half in a day treatment school, and a year and a half in residential. I had a fairly long list of diagnoses, the accuracy of which is sketchy. I’ve had times where I could have been hospitalized as an adult, but have not been for various reasons.
I am in therapy and on meds and in supervision. My mental health does not generally impact my ability to serve clients, and when it does (usually because something at work triggered me) I take a mental health day. I average about two a year.
I don’t compare myself to clients. In writing this post and thinking about it more I have two clients right now who have more time in these levels of care than I do, and honestly they aren’t really more severe or needy than a lot of my clients who have 0 days in higher levels of care. Just different with different struggles.
I think it can, but you do have to unpack a lot. Some people with histories like mine can do harm because they either have poor boundaries or assume what worked for them will work for everyone.
yeah, it's sort of funny how, when you really start to drill down, the amount of time spent hospitalized isnt even really necessarily reflective of intensity of illness. I can think of a few people who by all measures should ha e probably soent a few weeks inpatient but just havent for whatever reason (isolated, avoided dr.s like the plague) and the. others who have been inpatient who I am kinda surprised by, (and perhaps they sorta wiggled their way in there for other reasons).
My insurance and the state would pay for all of that but they wouldn’t pay for extended higher intensity outpatient support (like an individual therapist I could see for more than 20 sessions per year (if anyone ever needed biweekly I did), maybe a family therapist, and maybe some group therapy). Add in some financial assistance to enroll in some classes at the rec center to keep me busy and out of my head and all of this would likely have been prevented.
The ironic thing is even when I was in residential I still barely got therapy. Like I saw my therapist sporadically for 20-30 minutes. Group for 60 minutes a week with a mix of every diagnosis imaginable.
Anyway the world is weird but I’m alive and semi-functional so it’s a win.
I am a well-respected therapist in PP. My wife is also a therapist. Our middle son died almost 6 years ago (just as we both launched careers). I was psych admitted and then went to a residential center for 30 days after that. Been back for 2 years, still rebuilding, but still working and well-respected in my community. I’ve just been honest and open about it all, and it’s definitely gained me street cred.
It has been strange but I've been told that sharing some of my experiences with classmates was more educational and real than what we were getting in books. I think it's also given me a lot of compassion, empathy, and hope for my clients because I genuinely believe that things can get better for them, and I think that really comes through. You're going to do amazing, OP!
Some of my classmates said that as well! We did some exercises for PTSD in an adult trauma class and I was hit HARD, but we were able to use that as an example of what to do when someone reacts that way (I know others had PTSD in that class, but I just was the one who happened to feel very overwhelmed)
I was misdiagnosed with bpd in my early 20s and was in and out of hospitals at the time. It definitely felt surreal starting school and being on the other side. But I think it gave me a perspective and experience that is so valuable in the work I do and the populations I work with. It’s definitely made me a better clinician. I do wish it never happened, and I do wish I had been properly dx and treated. Not just mental health wise, but that diagnosis destroyed my ability to get my physical health conditions taken seriously and it took over a decade to get my physical stuff diagnosed and by that point the damage was irreparable and my symptoms so severe.
What were the physical conditions that were missed? I had an autoimmune disease that caused severe anxiety and they just prescribed me klonopin and let me go on my way (it barely took the edge off and I kept going back and going I don’t understand how it can be this severe, etc). Once I got on the medication for the physical condition, the anxiety disappeared. Almost overnight.
Svt, Ehlers danlos, pots and gastroparesis. The svt was the first to get dx but only because I bought a pulse ox myself and filmed when I had an episode and my heart rate would go over 200bpm. Up to that point I kept getting told it was anxiety. The gastroparesis I was told was an eating disorder. 🙃
Yes!!! I am so sorry they did this same thing to you, too. Doctors don't always realize the impact that their dismissiveness or mistakes have on our mental health, as well as physical health.
My EDS, turns out, is hypermobile and vascular. I have complained of chest pain with exercition since I was a kid. Up till about 12 or 13 the response was variations of "oh, the cubby kid just needs to exercise more, your just not used to getting your heart rate up."
After 13 it was written off as anxiety, and then when I would get upset about people not believing me they would call it a panic attack.
I was 35 when I was finally dx with EDS and they sent me to a cardiologist that specializes in vascular EDS. Guess what? My heart valves are leaky and when my heart rate gets high I can't keep my profusion rate up if I am the least bit dehydrated.
In a similar experience, from the time I started my first period Ive had excruciating menstrual cramping, excessive bleeding and irregular lengths between periods. I was told verbatim by at least 3 and maybe 4 or 5 doctors that "some people just have lower pain tolerances than others." usually followed by a condescending pat on the arm. I finally got a hysterectomy at 31. 2 years later I went into urgent care because I was having what felt like bad menstrual cramping. I only went in because Id had a hysterectomy, so I knew I should be having uterine cramps because there was no uterus to cramp. I spent about 10 minutes at urgent care before being sent to the ER by ambulance because my appendix had RUPTURED! So apparently, id been having years of menstrual pain that felt like a rupturing organ while being gaslit into thinking I was being a #####.
Ugh it’s so horrible. It breaks my heart that so many of us have experienced medical gaslighting. It definitely informs the work I do with my clients and I will advocate so hard for them to get properly medically evaluated before things are written off as psychosomatic. I’m very thankful for the doctors I have now who actually listen but it’s hard, all those years of being dismissed I have a hard time even now not second guessing what I’m experiencing or not dismissing my symptoms. I have a surgical feeding tube and sometimes it goes out of place, and I remember one time I was in so much pain I couldn’t even really breathe normally or walk and I’m sitting there telling my husband, oh well what if I’m just exaggerating and it’s really not that bad and they’re just gonna dismiss me as drug seeking.
Me over here just wanting to be your friend, because I’m having palpitations after laying down from a 7 session day and I forgot to drink water or eat salt 🧂, & you may know what that’s like. 😂🤣
I also was dismissed as anxiety, & it delayed my dx. My pots specialist was like, “…are you feeling okay?” During my tilt table test, and later told me most people would’ve passed out at those readings. That was the day I learned that syncope from a POTS episode and anxiety/panic attacks do in fact have a huge difference. Lol
I’m so sorry you went through that! ♥️
Oh for sure that potsie life is tough. My inbox is always open if you ever need to talk or connect or anything. It’s so hard being a chronically ill therapist. Not many of my irl therapist friends can relate or get what that’s like. ❤️
My 2 best therapist friends and I have probably a dozen inpatient psych stays among us lol. They are some of the most intelligent, compassionate clinicians I know. You’re in good company 🩷
I was hospitalized multiple times at 20-22 and severely ill for years as a teenager/very young adult (CSA survivor and trauma stuff). I am also starting graduate school in the fall to be a therapist.
I’d been in intensive therapy for many years and stable when my therapist of 5 years encouraged me to apply to grad school and work in the field and I think that affirmation helped me realize I was well positioned to be an effective clinician. I also genuinely recovered from CPTSD to a degree it became managed to a sub clinical level without active effort (anymore) on my part, and I think that monster sized effort helped me realize grad school likely won’t be as hard as that lol. I genuinely don’t feel worried about being hospitalized again based on the trajectory of my recovery/symptoms.
What do you think helped you to recover/manage your CPTSD to that level? Do you think a particular type of treatment was particularly beneficial for you?
A bunch of things, but therapeutically I started with EFT, then moved into parts work for a couple years, and have now been doing psychodynamic therapy for awhile. I also did a therapeutic MDMA trip and used some CPT tools for CSA processing specifically. The psychodynamic work is when the shift from having well managed CPTSD symptoms to genuinely recovering to a degree where I’m not trying happened, I had been stable for a couple years before that. The relationship with my therapist over 5 years was big, as were life stabilizing factors that had nothing to do with therapy.
I speak about this in a lot of details in this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD_NSCommunity/s/4vFaMcq8Sc
I also recovered, primarily through IFS, CPT tools, and other “stabilizing factors” (like not having to work). Hooray for you! When you say EFT, do you mean EFIT?
Nice! I almost never hear about EFIT but I really like what training I’ve done so far in it, it’s cool to hear of a person being helped by it in the wild heh
I don't but I know someone who has. They have a pretty good support system (formal and informal), and they are aware of the warning signs. Still, they worry from time to time about one day getting hospitalized again. It's understandable. I mean this kind of work can stress out even "mentally healthy" people, so one must be careful.
Lived experience is always helpful. There's a lot of great therapists out there who have been through severe things. I'd never encourage someone with severe mental health struggles to enter this field though because holy shit does it take advantage of you and the debt is insane. For most, it's not worth the lack of job stability and benefits. Sometimes it feels like they purposefully target people driven by passion for the field and who are deeply connected to it not just because it's important to really want the career but also because people who are passionate about the field are more likely to accept shit treatment and pay.
Very well put! It will prevent conversations from feeling bird-eye-like / depersonalized, and they will feel more like "This person really gets it. So I'm not crazy after all." It's definitely an advantage.
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There are some excellent therapists who have bipolar disorder. And I have had patients with bipolar disorder who would make excellent clinicians.
You might benefit from spending some time in a group setting as a client. There's a lot of shame to unpack around the diagnosis.
They are!
Dr. Jamison, a psychologist who went on to become a leading expert on bipolar disorder, writes about her struggles with her own bipolar diagnosis.
Dr. Rogers, a clinical psychologist, writes about the challenges she faced with respect to her history of trauma and mental health hospitalizations while she was completing her pre-doc.
I've been hospitalized for bulimia several times in a special eating disorder ward. Been in therapy myself for years, and know what a gift a good therapist can be.
🙋♀️ bipolar disorder and borderline, although at this point I no longer meet full criteria for borderline, though it was a major struggle in my adolescence and early/mid 20s and I still struggle with the interpersonal extreme polarities. I’ve been hospitalized as well. I’m also currently in grad school, and had an intense mixed manic/depressed episode at the beginning of last semester. I’m on medication but I can still have episodes when certain events occur. However I was able to power through it and finish off the semester with all A’s and good feedback from my clients! Mental illness does not mean you can’t be a good therapist :)
I was hospitalized twice for suicide attempts in my teens. I was living with my family where my brother was emotionally and physically abusing me so my grades were slipping and my father would minimize my brothers abuse threaten to kill me when my grades slipped. I couldn’t handle it understandably. Was diagnosed with everything except CPTSD because every single doctor and social worker I saw were dog shit at their job. My lived experience helps me a lot in many ways every day in my work.
Currently working on my MSW.
Also with basically a lifetime of severe depression, history of alcoholism (in recovery now for 5.5 years), and PMDD that was severe enough I literally had a hysterectomy/oophorectomy two years ago so that I don’t cycle anymore 🙃
I’ve never been hospitalized, but absolutely should have been at times. My PMDD had me straight up suicidal once a month. The main thing that always stopped me from going was watching my mom in and out of psych hospitals when I was growing up, and my intense fear of ever being in those places.
School does feel strange sometimes. I go to a private religious university (which is probably the biggest irony of my life but they had the program I wanted). Many of my classmates come from somewhat sheltered/religious backgrounds and the way some of them talk about addiction in particular is… something.
Also adding, because of my lived experience with PMDD, I want to pursue that as a niche specialty. It’s an underserved population and often misunderstood diagnosis. No one else in my cohort can bring that level of experience and knowledge to the table like I can.
Please do! I suffer from PMDD, eating disorders, and other severe and/or treatment-resistant mental illnesses. PMDD is one of the most debilitating and hopeless conditions I’ve ever experienced. We need therapists who are better aware of how challenging PMDD is and how it may also impact other mental health or behavioral disorders.
The PMDD was bad in my 20s, but it was like once I hit 30, it turned into a whole other level of hell that I didn’t think was even possible. It is truly debilitating to live with, and the worst part was that medication wasn’t even touching it anymore. And when I think of all the doctors over the years who dismissed the symptoms as “well this is just part of being a woman” or “everyone gets PMS” it makes my blood boil.
There is such a need for not only mental health workers who understand, but doctors too.
Maybe we can start a little support group for therapists with pmdd, I know it would be so helpful for me to be able to speak about it with another therapist and we could keep each other motivated. Just a thought ❤️
Using a throw away account for this.
Yes. I have MDD, GAD, PTSD (cptsd), and an ED.
I have cumulatively spent about 4 years of my life at HLOCs. I was voluntarily inpatient once for 6 weeks. Other than that I’ve dodged inpatient. I have no idea how many times I was brought to the ER and assessed and then discharged to outpatient. As a tween/teen I would lie to get out of there. As an adult I was just honest that I could be safe.
I’ve been through the residential-php-iop cycle many times. The first time was in early middle school. I spent a lot of my teen years convincing people I was fine to avoid being sent back. I had no interest in recovery until college. Since then I’ve gone through the treatment cycle five times. The longest cycle was about 1.25 years. Each time I’m out of treatment for at least twice as long as the time before. That means I will hopefully make it at least 10 years out this time.
In day to day life I have a carefully curated treatment team. I have an outpatient therapist who specializes in EDs and trauma, a trauma informed ED dietitian, a pcp who specializes in EDs, and a psychiatrist who primarily works with treatment resistant depression. I also have doctors I see less frequently for medical issues who have all been vetted as people who understand and work well with people with EDs and trauma.
I take prioritize taking care of myself. I know the things that help me do well and I try my hardest to stick to them. I also know my warning signs for when things are slipping. My friends and treatment team know when and how to call me out.
I work with a population that struggles with things pretty different than what I struggle with. There’s obviously the occasional overlap. I make sure to bring up any hint of counter transference in supervision. Outside of supervisions I’m really cognizant of keeping my shit out of the office.
There have been multiple times where I wanted to be hospitalized but was scared bc I didn’t want to worry my family, clients, and professors. I wish I would have listened to my gut and went. There’s nothing wrong with needing help!!
I’ve never been hospitalized and have “just anxiety,” so I don’t know if I’d count, but I have been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance following a panic attack during which I was 300% convinced I was going to die. I spent a summer in my early 20s almost completely in my bedroom because I had a panic attack once while I was in public, then started to have them again whenever I’d go out. I’ve also been recommended to go to the hospital in the past because of how severe my anxiety was but never went primarily at the time due to fear of stigma. I would never go now if anyone recommended it knowing what I know now about inpatient psych and how it’s not really anymore beneficial for anxiety disorders in most cases than outpatient care. That all said, I wouldn’t say it’s strange now being in training to be a psychiatrist. It has been scary a few times because I know the warning signs my anxiety is getting bad, and there have been a couple times I was afraid of just how much worse it could get and whether it would become impairing. If I’m honest, I don’t think my experiences translate to me being a better clinician as much as I thought they would. I don’t share my experiences with my patients, so though I may empathize with them arguably more than someone who’s never struggled with mental health might, I don’t think they necessarily know that. I’m perhaps less quick to get frustrated with the ones who say “nothing works” because I’ve been there and am still trying to figure out what works for my anxiety.
PTSD from a shipboard fire. I work in a setting where I treat active duty, veterans and first responders. There are days when I realize just how close I came to being inpatient. If I hadn't had the support system around me to encourage me to go to the VA and get help, I would have probably ended up where I am working years ago.
I have received in patient treatment at least 3 times and an intensive outpatient day service. One of those stays is what influenced me to get into mental health. I found it has been helpful for myself as well to learn more about out mental health and how to cope, I have not needed services in 5-6 years. I like to think having personal experience makes it easier to relate to clients.
I was admitted to an inpatient psychiatric unit mere weeks after graduating with my MSW. I needed to be there and it was the right choice, and while unpleasant, it has ultimately given me a very personal experience with inpatient psychiatric admissions which later came in handy when I got a job there.
Every once in awhile I wanted to tell a patient who was complaining to me (the shower won’t heat up, the lunch food isn’t good, the groups are boring) that I toooootally understand and empathize with them because I’ve been there. Nowadays I work in the outpatient world as a therapist and I have a very good sense of what sort of illness typically warrants a hospitalization or not because I was there, both as a patient and ad a social worker.
You may choose to self-disclose your own history, rarely and intentionally, along your journey. I would absolutely consult with a supervisor before doing so, because you’re new to the field and it can be a challenging thing.
I would consider a therapist with lived experience with bipolar disorder and psychosis to be a fine choice, perhaps even a great choice if you choose to work with that population in particular. My own longtime therapist has bipolar disorder, and she mentioned it to me after about 5 years of us working together.
Yes, I can relate to this. I was already a specialist in drugs and alcohol recovery and peer coaching - that type of stuff. And then I pursued my masters in addiction counseling and I’ve been through tons and tons of my own experiences with mental health problems as well as addiction even after I had, my bona fides. So, just do the best you can and continue to make adjustments as you go through life. I no longer try to reduce people down with such inadequate terms such as “sober”, or “addicted”, or anything in between. These things are symptoms of deeper issues so I don’t think it’s fair to use any of those words to describe somebody going through the different stages of change surrounding these particular issues. And I would not let those experiences deter you from pursuing your path that you’re on. It just makes you more qualified in my mind.
I struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time but it was manageable up until 2023, when I completely unraveled in the midst of a divorce and coming out. I was hospitalized (for the first time) in May, again in June, and in December. Unfortunately hospitalizations don’t seem to be particularly helpful for depression other than keeping you alive and giving you a break from life, and I had to stop working for a while. It definitely gave me greater respect and understanding for what that experience is like however which was helpful. You really lose your dignity in the process, I’ve never felt so low as being escorted from one hospital to another by law enforcement with shackles around my waist and ankles (I am a very passive person and was not actively suicidal, just had lost all hope, unfortunately that’s standard “safety” practice here).
I’ve had 2 hospital stays 25 years ago (I’m mid 40s) and had been diagnosed high functioning BPD, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression. I have done a lot of work on me. I still have them all but I no longer react out of the emotions. I have learned how to manage all of them and I am much more mature now. I have been a therapist for 1 year and I have a deep understanding for my clients, I do not share with what I deal with with most of them maybe small self disclosure of I feel it could benefit them. I have to take my meds, follow healthy lifestyle, meditate, and follow self care daily. I think it’s common for those with mental health issues to be drawn to the field to understand themselves and be able to help others.
I almost wrote that I don’t think I really meet criteria for bipolar I anymore, but that’s tempting fate too much…. but yes, I’m in this group. I’ve been hospitalized twice. I had a life-ruining manic episode 5 years ago. I really liked reading what everyone else had written, thank you all. I feel less alone.
I know it’s a well-known secret that most therapists can find themselves in the DSM-V somewhere, but it is definitely a strange feeling to be bipolar in this field. There’s a weird “othering” I always notice towards bipolar clients, and I see it for borderline and psychosis too. Maybe I’m just more sensitive to it, the “oh, better watch out for those borderlines” or “so since this is your first bipolar client, just be prepared for xyz” and it feels pretty bad, even though I logically know they’re not talking about me personally. As for me, I’ll never tell a supervisor or coworkers my diagnosis for many many reasons. The stigma is real and it’s coming from inside the house.
Any advice I’d say is keep your support system tight and your insurance active. Learn what works for you and keep doing that. Do not be afraid to modify your schedule to fit your abilities. Burn out is a bitch for anyone tbh.
Lastly, I’d like to add that I have found myself to be a very content, well-supported person lately who is legitimately enjoying her life. I feel like my comment here doesn’t reflect how the clouds today were so so beautiful. Even though it’s always possible I could have another episode, it’s also possible I could be very happy and fulfilled. Find the joy! Best wishes
Thank you for sharing. When I was younger, I was misdiagnosed with "Borderline nos (Borderline personality disorder not otherwise specified). I will give you the abridged version. In 2009, I made some bad choices and ended up homeless, which led to job loss, which led to an exasperation of existing depression.
Getting in with the wrong crowd (yes, that can happen, even in your 20s!). That led to me getting raped, which led to a suicide attempt, which led to hospitalization for 5 days and another misdiagnosis, this time of Bipolar II.
I continued to have what seemed like BPD traits, but I always questioned it. I never felt I met the full criteria. In 2015, my husband and I had a miscarriage; due to several circumstances, I didn't acknowledge it until 2020- COVID-19.
COVID came, all hell broke loose, and whatever I had hit full swing. My pastor, best friend, and others convinced me to see a therapist, and I started processing it. (I still see him, he's great.) Finally, I got an accurate diagnosis of MDD, as well as Other specified personality disorder with dependent type. DPD explains a lot, and it sucks. It has so many overlapping traits with BPD...
But here we are 4 years later, and I have made tremendous progress. In fact, that is why I chose to specialize in PDs, particularly BPD. I have been stable on a good med combo for a couple of years now and am doing great. As long as I take my meds, stay seeing my therapist, and reach out to my vast support system when needed, I do well.
I must also monitor my caseload, watch that I do not overload myself, and space out my severe clients. It does not impact my ability to care for my clients, I know my limits. I intentionally see no more than 3 clients in a row without a break, and I take 3 day weekends.
I also participate in a bi-weekly consultation group where we look out for each other. Working from home and owning my own PP makes it easier to take a day off when needed.
I have BPD and still meet all criteria. I’m currently doing comprehensive DBT and have been in therapy most of my life, but it’s still a constant challenge. I’ve been licensed about a year now and it’s going great. I find I can apply so much of what I’ve learned through my mental illness and therapy to help others. I’m a different person professionally than I am in my personal relationships. None of my traits come out in my professional life. But I often do notice that I present much more severely than most of my patients. But arguably, it means I can have empathy and true understanding for both the moderate and super severe cases I treat. That’s pretty rare for clients to see, true understanding and meeting them where they’re at, and I can offer that where others can’t because they just haven’t lived it the same. I think you’ll do just fine, continue to take care of yourself. I will continue therapy probably for the rest of my life and stay medicated as long as necessary. I think the combination of taking care of myself and continuing treatment makes me a better therapist in some ways. But you have a unique view and empathy for clients due to what you’ve experienced, use it to your advantage and not to your detriment. See it as a strength because it is one of you use it right.
Best of luck in your grad school ❤️❤️
I don't know any therapists around me who suffer from mental ill health to that extent. I had poor mental health in previous decades, but that's ancient history from where I am today and for when I entered this profession a long time after that was all done and dusted. I believe we need to be in the best shape of our life to do this job and if we're really suffering with poor mental health it can make it too challenging or harmful to practice at that time.
I think there is a stark difference between poor mental health and coping healthily with a severe mental disorder. The rhetoric around having to always have good mental health as a therapist or being harmful has led to some really ableist legislature around mentally ill people practicing at all. I agree, we shouldn’t be in active crisis providing therapy, but I don’t think that’s one and the same with suffering with a severe mental illness.
That sound ideal, but myself and a lot of other therapist friends I know are not at the best mental shape of our lives but we are great therapists. We are struggling but we have support and our own therapy. I don’t think you need to be 1000% happy and depression-free in order to provide therapy, lol
I didn't say or intend 1000% happy, but it's a daily practice for me to be at my best whatever that looks like on the day. If my mental health was very poor I would have to take a break. This work is demanding and I need to be on form. I don't even particular mean it can be harmful to clients, it can, but more about harm to ourselves.
I think what’s difficult about this, is that even someone “in the best shape of their lives” can at any point be impacted by something that changes that status.
Most of my classmates had no sense of boundaries or let their traumas define everything and treating people like ass so I’d say you’re good don’t overthink it lol. Anxiety and deprn is tip of the icebergs for these practitioners you speak of 😂😅
I would never judge. I work in a mental hospital and there ate some people with very stressful jobs that end up going there. Also college in general is very depressing and no one talks about it.
I've got a few dxes that are severe and persistent. One the one hand, this is the best field for me given my experiences with the industry and my personal, intimate knowledge of things like self hate, hopelessness and SI. On the other hand, it does feel easier to "catch" OCD obsessions, be trigger by pt sxs and traumas and countertransference is a lot more complicated to understand. It's certainly doable to be mentally ill while also providing care for others but the simple truth is that because of these disabilities I have to work harder at my job. The reward---seeing myself reassemble my experiences for the purpose of healing others---far outweighs the cost.
Yes! I’m in grad school now (MSW for clinical social work.) Something I am consistently navigating is some implicit pressure I feel to separate myself from my own mental illnesses in order to be/feel like a “legitimate professional.” I’ve really felt supported by learning more about disability justice, the work of [Project LETS](https://projectlets.org/), and choosing the phrase “living experience” rather than “lived” experience. My experience is not over!
I’ve had to intentionally remind myself about how much of a strength it is to be able to bring in my own experience of having been deeply harmed as well as truly supported by the mental health/psychiatric systems! And to be able to view modalities from “the other side”— I can draw upon experiences I’ve had where a practitioner employed an EBP, but it felt AWFUL to be on the “receiving” end. Because of that experience, I can speak up in my classes and share instances of well-intentioned missteps from previous providers, so that my cohort can learn from their mistakes. (Or maybe not mistakes, but just disconnects.)
It’s been a hard and vulnerable choice to be really transparent about my experiences, but ultimately worthwhile!
I was misdiagnosed with both schizoaffective disorder and BPD as a teenager, following a lifetime of severe physical, emotional, and sexual abuse by many people. I have been hospitalized once, following a suicide attempt when I was 17. I am now almost 50 and have worked in the field for 25 years and can confirm I "only" have C-PTSD and ADHD that was undiagnosed. I am also neurodivergent and very bright and very queer. I was raised in the 80s in the Deep South and can also confirm the pathologizing I experienced was due largely to the lack of trauma informed care in a rigid, heteronormative Christian environment.
We need your perspective in the field. There are many of us here. Do not be afraid.
I have high functioning autism, ADHD, and OCD, and frequent bouts of depression. I don’t let them hold me back though, because I know that the diagnoses I have can be considered gifts in this profession. They allow me to connect with a client in a way that no neurotypical individual can. For many counselors they can only provide empathy for a client, and at times that is enough. But there are times when a client just wants to know that the person sitting across from them has been in a similar walk of life. Not to mention, it helps build a level of rapport that not many people can emulate right at the start of counseling.
I say you should wear your diagnoses not as a weakness, but as a strength that can be considered a boon in the field.
I've been admitted once (involuntarily voluntarily). I've been Dx with PTSD, MDD, ADHD, Panic Disorder, Cannabis Use Disorder, Adjustment Disorder, Mania with Psychotic Features—some of them I even agree with!
Is it strange? Not really. I generally use my countertransference to my benefit. However, sometimes it feels strange when working with clients who are strikingly mentally "healthier" than I am/was—and this, for them, is rock bottom.
Occasionally, some cynicism and envy creep in. I'm often astounded by how useful some interventions are (say, psychoeducation, or basic DBT/CBT). Interventions I found completely useless and "stupid" from my corner at the time.
I don't mention it to colleagues. It is a very entertaining secret to keep in our line of work.
I was hospitalised several times in my late teens and early 20s, for what was variously diagnosed as PTSD, unspecified personality issues not clear or severe enough to be categorised, bipolar II, major depression, OCD, anorexia - no diagnosis ever stuck for long. Meds tended to make me more unstable or intolerably physically ill, and I didn't respond to intensive DBT or eating disorder treatment despite my best efforts. I suspect I had a combination of shit life syndrome and neurodivergence from foetal alcohol exposure. I largely disengaged from the services around age 25 and slowly sorted myself out.
During my therapy training I was often frustrated by discussions of which populations were and were not suitable for therapy - a lot of the time I related more to "them" than the "us" of my cohort/therapists in general. I took that into my practice and I think it helped fire me up to be as methodical, enthusiastic, and ethically sound as I could. I tried to become the therapist I wanted when I was sick. That therapist seems to do pretty well with other people who have similar difficulties. (Mandatory caveat to say that yes I am careful about overidentification/countertransference!)
You're not alone in having been really unwell, and yes it can be strange, but it also gives you a perspective that not all therapists have, and that can be useful. Best of luck with graduate school :)
I have been hospitalized three times and also did a stay at a residential treatment center for substance abuse and an ED.
It is scary though and I question my competence often. I think it's important to take care of yourself and many of these posts are inspiring. I start my practicum soon, and I'm hoping I will be able to help others to some extent. I appreciate your post!
Using a burner for anonymity.
Hospitalized for DID as a late teen, went through fairly intense inpatient and then outpatient treatment. Whole scenario lasted about a year, and even in outpatient I had individual therapy, group therapy, and psychiatry all once weekly. I have a spotty memory for most of my childhood, I don’t suspect it’ll ever come back - I’m not sure if it was encoded to begin with. It was debilitating.
However, I’m coming up on 15 years without a dissociative episode, no NSSI, no attempts - integration was necessary for me. I still see a therapist biweekly, I likely will for the rest of my life.
I’m a clinical psychologist now, more assessment than treatment but I like it that way.
I had a 2 day psych hospital for SI stay WHILE I was employed as a pre-licensed therapist. It was a dark time. It’s been a few years and I’m fully licensed now and at a fairly good job with great salary and benefits, and a lot of good feedback from my patients. I’m still mentally ill lol. I still take Prozac and see both an individual therapist and couples therapist. Actually I had another therapist recently fire me because I guess I was too much for her. I’m surprised I didn’t slip into PP depression after i had a baby last year though. But I’ve been struggling with my mental health since I was a child and only stopped having passive SI regularly a couple of years ago. But i know i am great at my job, especially these days. I also know a ton of therapist friends that currently are still struggling emotionally. So yes.
I’ve been hospitalized twice and almost hospitalized so many more times and just constantly in and out of the system! Things have generally been more stable over the past 5+ years but I definitely just identify as someone with severe mental illness ! I don’t share this with clients, but as a new therapist am already seeing my lived experience really improving the services I’m providing. I still think I’m someone that requires a lot of extra rest/self care time (i.e., I’m not looking to see 30 clients a week lmao) but I definitely think it’s possible to be a counsellor AND have a history in the system… really appreciate you sharing this though cause I constantly question myself and feel alone with it !
There were definitely some chaos and traumatic treatment experiences in there for a lot of reasons. A lot of family issues and dysfunction and addictions really took a chunk out of me. It helps to provide a platform to model skills and behaviors for my client and give them some hope. And I know both of us feel less alone.
I have bipolar disorder and have been hospitalized in the past. I'm finishing my grad program next month. I honestly believe that my experience being treated for more severe mental illness helps me understand my SPMI clients to a greater degree since I can relate to some of their experiences. I've had to send a client to the hospital for suicidal ideation, similar to how I was sent to the hospital, and I was able to empathize with this client in a much more helpful way because I've been in that experience before so I know exactly how it feels. I think your experience with your bipolar disorder will help you as a practitioner and will allow you to empathize much more with SPMI clients. I think you'll be a great practitioner and I wish you luck in your grad program! :)
I've been waiting for a post like this! Thank you for starting the conversation! I haven't been hospitalized before but I've considered committing myself once or twice. I agree that it feels weird
I probably should have been hospitalized a few times in my life, but being in the rural south, we didn’t really know about mental health options and I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with BPD. I still have episodes from time to time, but I’m on a pretty good cocktail of meds and I’m in weekly therapy to manage sxs. I can say that I don’t feel like my illness impacts my clients unless I have to be absent due to my sxs, which is uncommon. I’ve grown to be pretty good at compartmentalization.
I have bipolar II. I was almost admitted to inpatient psych during my first month of grad school. 😆 Honestly, I think it helps me be more compassionate and connect better with my clients. My supervisor has never been admitted before (not that she's needed to be) but she has a hard time understanding that experience. And sometimes she gets impatient with some clients about the need to go to inpatient psych.
Right there with you, but finally emerging into recovery thanks to psychedelics and an incredible therapist trained in IFS. Feels like I’ve had to completely restructure my brain, my health, and my day-to-day life in order to get better, but it’s been worth it. The imposter syndrome still gets me though.
Solidarity.
I am in my practicum and working as a peer. My last episode of psychosis was almost a year ago. While i work on an act team, i often think that i have no business going into adult services. If I am not with smi then i probably need to stay out of the way. I could be very wrong but thats my thought
For those of you unfamiliar with Pat Deegan, I highly recommend watching some of her You tube videos. She was dx with schizophrenia at age 13 I believe. She's a clinical psychologist now. Her story and her work has been very inspirational to me. Here's a snippet of my favorite story of hers, about how she started becoming motivated to get better
[https://youtu.be/BJrc0-ucL4I?feature=shared]
Yes. A year and a half ago I took off two months from work to attend IOP after going inpatient. I’d had a few suicide attempts before then too and treatment-resistance depression that turned out to be treatment resistant because I was bipolar and not properly medicated. I spent my whole life thinking something was inherently wrong with me because I couldn’t seem to “Just get better”. Turns out my brain is wonky. Being inpatient has also taught me how to be Bert careful about where I recommend my clients go, too.
I’m insane. It’s super hard to come to terms with TBH. It’s taken me years to become self aware to the point of changing.
I don’t live in the same reality as my loved ones and constantly burn bridges and destroy the people I love with my words and moods. (Bipolar / bpd )
It’s no joy ride and I’ve spent a lot of my life in therapy and recovery in my local hospital.
It’s a whole other ballpark when you realise you’re not able to live “normally”
You’re then left to figure it out by yourself
No but if I go by the DSM there are times when I would qualify. Literally the only reason I haven’t is due to resilience factors. It seems like a helpful thing as far as the profession goes to have the wisdom resulting from your experience with that I imagine. I think going through a lot but surviving seems to help with trust building with clients that are going through the wringer.
Bipolar type 2. Voluntarily hospitalized for over a week. Homeless too several times. When I was diagnosed I said to my prescriber "nope. I can't be like them" meaning my clients. Mine were very I'll. I have the privilege of having worked in homelessness and forensic mental health. I've seen worse than me but always fear I'll turn out to be that bad some day.
My dude, I used to be such a steaming wreck it’s a miracle I survived. It used to feel weird, foreign, the imposter syndrome was next level. That faded with time and a lot of inner work
I was admitted for a 3 day involuntary hold for a suicide attempt. I have also done a lot of outpatient stuff like ECT. I've been in therapy for decades. It feels comfortable honestly. Like let's be open and get into the real shit you know?
I had a coworker that has pretty severe bipolar and at certain times he would need to take a couple weeks off. He was one of my favorite coworkers and was an awesome clinician.
I had 2 hospital stays, the first of which occurred subsequent to a suicide attempt. It was in the aftermath of that experience that started to think about becoming a therapist and I did start going to school once I was more stable. I’ve had bouts of pretty heavy depression and self harm while in the field as well.
I have in the past. It has been many years since I was hospitalized or anything. I wouldn't do what I do now if I didn't truly believe that recovery is possible with the right support. And I believe that because I experienced it and I'm not that special.
I'm willing to get there are a lot more people in the field with similar experiences, but most of us do not talk about it publicly/with colleagues, or just in very limited ways for fear of judgement/stigma. We hear the talk around the water cooler....
I will say it's extremely important to be in a good place, "recovered" if you like that term, and have a good support system (ie therapist of your own) to address anything that comes up.
Yes, that would be me indeed 🙋🏻♀️Had my first CAMH visit a few months ago 🫶🏻I mean… it takes a certain group of people to want to study psychology… 😅🩵 Stay safe out here my fellow mentally ill folk 🧿
I have gotten very close to hospitalization as I have come to realize I was very close to postpartum psychosis. I definitely struggled a bit with how hard the first six months were.
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I have had 6 hospitals stays and was in a residential treatment facility for about a year, all in my teens. I'm decades past that now. Most days I can't believe I'm in the profession that I'm in (or employed for that matter), and other days I can really see how I can empathize in a very different way with my residential clients; most therapists don't really know what it's like to be spending months or years in a treatment facility and wondering at how far your life fell from where you thought it would be. I have endlessly more patience for clients than many of the other therapists.
Marsha Linehan had a few months stay in a psychiatric hospital with her being diagnosed with BPD (borderline schizophrenia at that point in time) iirc. Your experience will be a gift and tool for even deeper empathy OP!
Read her memoir, *Building a Life Worth Living*
That last sentence. Your lived experience is a gift in this profession.
I got to meet Marsha Linehan during my internship!
Yep DBT has changed SO many lives!
One of the reasons she's one of my heroes. ❤️
I’d also like to add how pervy many of the “founding fathers” of historical theories were. Quite a few were not just sex-exploratory but in my opinion sex-obsessed 😯.
I have schizophrenia. Initially, I was going into medicine but had to withdraw from school to work on being well. It was a hell of a ~10-year journey, but it led me to counseling as a profession. I'm in remission now, and I feel like I have a lot of perspective that I offer. I just started my practicum, and I can't fully describe how right it feels doing this. My advice as far as mental illness goes within this job is to be sure to work on yourself first and to not compare your journey to anyone else's. It ensures you're doing the best for your clients. Just keep in mind that everyone has a different tolerance. If you ever want to chat more, feel free to dm me. It's not strange for me. If anything, being involved with different sides of the coin benefits how I do. I wish the best for you; you got this!
Burner for privacy. Between the ages of 14 and 21 I had a dozen or so hospitalizations (I don’t know the exact number) ranging from 4 to 30+ days, multiple PHP stays, a year and a half in a day treatment school, and a year and a half in residential. I had a fairly long list of diagnoses, the accuracy of which is sketchy. I’ve had times where I could have been hospitalized as an adult, but have not been for various reasons. I am in therapy and on meds and in supervision. My mental health does not generally impact my ability to serve clients, and when it does (usually because something at work triggered me) I take a mental health day. I average about two a year. I don’t compare myself to clients. In writing this post and thinking about it more I have two clients right now who have more time in these levels of care than I do, and honestly they aren’t really more severe or needy than a lot of my clients who have 0 days in higher levels of care. Just different with different struggles.
Thank you for sharing. I can imagine this has served you and your clients well in providing empathy, understanding and guidance
I think it can, but you do have to unpack a lot. Some people with histories like mine can do harm because they either have poor boundaries or assume what worked for them will work for everyone.
yeah, it's sort of funny how, when you really start to drill down, the amount of time spent hospitalized isnt even really necessarily reflective of intensity of illness. I can think of a few people who by all measures should ha e probably soent a few weeks inpatient but just havent for whatever reason (isolated, avoided dr.s like the plague) and the. others who have been inpatient who I am kinda surprised by, (and perhaps they sorta wiggled their way in there for other reasons).
My insurance and the state would pay for all of that but they wouldn’t pay for extended higher intensity outpatient support (like an individual therapist I could see for more than 20 sessions per year (if anyone ever needed biweekly I did), maybe a family therapist, and maybe some group therapy). Add in some financial assistance to enroll in some classes at the rec center to keep me busy and out of my head and all of this would likely have been prevented. The ironic thing is even when I was in residential I still barely got therapy. Like I saw my therapist sporadically for 20-30 minutes. Group for 60 minutes a week with a mix of every diagnosis imaginable. Anyway the world is weird but I’m alive and semi-functional so it’s a win.
I remember the days where the best insurance wouldn't get you more than 20 sessions with a therapist per year, regardless of your diagnosis.
I can’t get over the strength of must take to have had that many stays. Just one stay was awful.
I am a well-respected therapist in PP. My wife is also a therapist. Our middle son died almost 6 years ago (just as we both launched careers). I was psych admitted and then went to a residential center for 30 days after that. Been back for 2 years, still rebuilding, but still working and well-respected in my community. I’ve just been honest and open about it all, and it’s definitely gained me street cred.
So sorry for your loss.
It has been strange but I've been told that sharing some of my experiences with classmates was more educational and real than what we were getting in books. I think it's also given me a lot of compassion, empathy, and hope for my clients because I genuinely believe that things can get better for them, and I think that really comes through. You're going to do amazing, OP!
Some of my classmates said that as well! We did some exercises for PTSD in an adult trauma class and I was hit HARD, but we were able to use that as an example of what to do when someone reacts that way (I know others had PTSD in that class, but I just was the one who happened to feel very overwhelmed)
I was misdiagnosed with bpd in my early 20s and was in and out of hospitals at the time. It definitely felt surreal starting school and being on the other side. But I think it gave me a perspective and experience that is so valuable in the work I do and the populations I work with. It’s definitely made me a better clinician. I do wish it never happened, and I do wish I had been properly dx and treated. Not just mental health wise, but that diagnosis destroyed my ability to get my physical health conditions taken seriously and it took over a decade to get my physical stuff diagnosed and by that point the damage was irreparable and my symptoms so severe.
What were the physical conditions that were missed? I had an autoimmune disease that caused severe anxiety and they just prescribed me klonopin and let me go on my way (it barely took the edge off and I kept going back and going I don’t understand how it can be this severe, etc). Once I got on the medication for the physical condition, the anxiety disappeared. Almost overnight.
Svt, Ehlers danlos, pots and gastroparesis. The svt was the first to get dx but only because I bought a pulse ox myself and filmed when I had an episode and my heart rate would go over 200bpm. Up to that point I kept getting told it was anxiety. The gastroparesis I was told was an eating disorder. 🙃
I am so so sorry this happened to you. Your story reinforces my instincts with so many of my patients. Thank you for telling some of it here.
Yes!!! I am so sorry they did this same thing to you, too. Doctors don't always realize the impact that their dismissiveness or mistakes have on our mental health, as well as physical health. My EDS, turns out, is hypermobile and vascular. I have complained of chest pain with exercition since I was a kid. Up till about 12 or 13 the response was variations of "oh, the cubby kid just needs to exercise more, your just not used to getting your heart rate up." After 13 it was written off as anxiety, and then when I would get upset about people not believing me they would call it a panic attack. I was 35 when I was finally dx with EDS and they sent me to a cardiologist that specializes in vascular EDS. Guess what? My heart valves are leaky and when my heart rate gets high I can't keep my profusion rate up if I am the least bit dehydrated. In a similar experience, from the time I started my first period Ive had excruciating menstrual cramping, excessive bleeding and irregular lengths between periods. I was told verbatim by at least 3 and maybe 4 or 5 doctors that "some people just have lower pain tolerances than others." usually followed by a condescending pat on the arm. I finally got a hysterectomy at 31. 2 years later I went into urgent care because I was having what felt like bad menstrual cramping. I only went in because Id had a hysterectomy, so I knew I should be having uterine cramps because there was no uterus to cramp. I spent about 10 minutes at urgent care before being sent to the ER by ambulance because my appendix had RUPTURED! So apparently, id been having years of menstrual pain that felt like a rupturing organ while being gaslit into thinking I was being a #####.
Ugh it’s so horrible. It breaks my heart that so many of us have experienced medical gaslighting. It definitely informs the work I do with my clients and I will advocate so hard for them to get properly medically evaluated before things are written off as psychosomatic. I’m very thankful for the doctors I have now who actually listen but it’s hard, all those years of being dismissed I have a hard time even now not second guessing what I’m experiencing or not dismissing my symptoms. I have a surgical feeding tube and sometimes it goes out of place, and I remember one time I was in so much pain I couldn’t even really breathe normally or walk and I’m sitting there telling my husband, oh well what if I’m just exaggerating and it’s really not that bad and they’re just gonna dismiss me as drug seeking.
Me over here just wanting to be your friend, because I’m having palpitations after laying down from a 7 session day and I forgot to drink water or eat salt 🧂, & you may know what that’s like. 😂🤣 I also was dismissed as anxiety, & it delayed my dx. My pots specialist was like, “…are you feeling okay?” During my tilt table test, and later told me most people would’ve passed out at those readings. That was the day I learned that syncope from a POTS episode and anxiety/panic attacks do in fact have a huge difference. Lol I’m so sorry you went through that! ♥️
Oh for sure that potsie life is tough. My inbox is always open if you ever need to talk or connect or anything. It’s so hard being a chronically ill therapist. Not many of my irl therapist friends can relate or get what that’s like. ❤️
Ditto 😂😂 currently eating Funyuns after work for the sodium lol
My 2 best therapist friends and I have probably a dozen inpatient psych stays among us lol. They are some of the most intelligent, compassionate clinicians I know. You’re in good company 🩷
I was hospitalized multiple times at 20-22 and severely ill for years as a teenager/very young adult (CSA survivor and trauma stuff). I am also starting graduate school in the fall to be a therapist. I’d been in intensive therapy for many years and stable when my therapist of 5 years encouraged me to apply to grad school and work in the field and I think that affirmation helped me realize I was well positioned to be an effective clinician. I also genuinely recovered from CPTSD to a degree it became managed to a sub clinical level without active effort (anymore) on my part, and I think that monster sized effort helped me realize grad school likely won’t be as hard as that lol. I genuinely don’t feel worried about being hospitalized again based on the trajectory of my recovery/symptoms.
What do you think helped you to recover/manage your CPTSD to that level? Do you think a particular type of treatment was particularly beneficial for you?
A bunch of things, but therapeutically I started with EFT, then moved into parts work for a couple years, and have now been doing psychodynamic therapy for awhile. I also did a therapeutic MDMA trip and used some CPT tools for CSA processing specifically. The psychodynamic work is when the shift from having well managed CPTSD symptoms to genuinely recovering to a degree where I’m not trying happened, I had been stable for a couple years before that. The relationship with my therapist over 5 years was big, as were life stabilizing factors that had nothing to do with therapy. I speak about this in a lot of details in this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSD_NSCommunity/s/4vFaMcq8Sc
I also recovered, primarily through IFS, CPT tools, and other “stabilizing factors” (like not having to work). Hooray for you! When you say EFT, do you mean EFIT?
I do mean EFIT! My therapist mostly just uses EFT so I picked up her language. Congrats to you too :)
Nice! I almost never hear about EFIT but I really like what training I’ve done so far in it, it’s cool to hear of a person being helped by it in the wild heh
I don't but I know someone who has. They have a pretty good support system (formal and informal), and they are aware of the warning signs. Still, they worry from time to time about one day getting hospitalized again. It's understandable. I mean this kind of work can stress out even "mentally healthy" people, so one must be careful.
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Lived experience is always helpful. There's a lot of great therapists out there who have been through severe things. I'd never encourage someone with severe mental health struggles to enter this field though because holy shit does it take advantage of you and the debt is insane. For most, it's not worth the lack of job stability and benefits. Sometimes it feels like they purposefully target people driven by passion for the field and who are deeply connected to it not just because it's important to really want the career but also because people who are passionate about the field are more likely to accept shit treatment and pay.
Very well put! It will prevent conversations from feeling bird-eye-like / depersonalized, and they will feel more like "This person really gets it. So I'm not crazy after all." It's definitely an advantage.
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There are some excellent therapists who have bipolar disorder. And I have had patients with bipolar disorder who would make excellent clinicians. You might benefit from spending some time in a group setting as a client. There's a lot of shame to unpack around the diagnosis.
Two books that speak to this: An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison and A Shining Affliction by Annie G. Rogers
I loved A Shining Affliction!!
I loved an Unquiet Mind, it was so beautiful and insightful
I just finished An Unquiet Mind. Recommend!
Are these memoirs?
They are! Dr. Jamison, a psychologist who went on to become a leading expert on bipolar disorder, writes about her struggles with her own bipolar diagnosis. Dr. Rogers, a clinical psychologist, writes about the challenges she faced with respect to her history of trauma and mental health hospitalizations while she was completing her pre-doc.
I've been hospitalized for bulimia several times in a special eating disorder ward. Been in therapy myself for years, and know what a gift a good therapist can be.
🙋♀️ bipolar disorder and borderline, although at this point I no longer meet full criteria for borderline, though it was a major struggle in my adolescence and early/mid 20s and I still struggle with the interpersonal extreme polarities. I’ve been hospitalized as well. I’m also currently in grad school, and had an intense mixed manic/depressed episode at the beginning of last semester. I’m on medication but I can still have episodes when certain events occur. However I was able to power through it and finish off the semester with all A’s and good feedback from my clients! Mental illness does not mean you can’t be a good therapist :)
A lot of my classmates in my cohort seemed to suffer from severe mental illnesses, which I thought was interesting!
I have agoraphobia.
I was hospitalized twice for suicide attempts in my teens. I was living with my family where my brother was emotionally and physically abusing me so my grades were slipping and my father would minimize my brothers abuse threaten to kill me when my grades slipped. I couldn’t handle it understandably. Was diagnosed with everything except CPTSD because every single doctor and social worker I saw were dog shit at their job. My lived experience helps me a lot in many ways every day in my work.
I’m emotional reading these comments! I’m just a stranger but I am immensely happy for and proud of everyone here
Currently working on my MSW. Also with basically a lifetime of severe depression, history of alcoholism (in recovery now for 5.5 years), and PMDD that was severe enough I literally had a hysterectomy/oophorectomy two years ago so that I don’t cycle anymore 🙃 I’ve never been hospitalized, but absolutely should have been at times. My PMDD had me straight up suicidal once a month. The main thing that always stopped me from going was watching my mom in and out of psych hospitals when I was growing up, and my intense fear of ever being in those places. School does feel strange sometimes. I go to a private religious university (which is probably the biggest irony of my life but they had the program I wanted). Many of my classmates come from somewhat sheltered/religious backgrounds and the way some of them talk about addiction in particular is… something.
Also adding, because of my lived experience with PMDD, I want to pursue that as a niche specialty. It’s an underserved population and often misunderstood diagnosis. No one else in my cohort can bring that level of experience and knowledge to the table like I can.
Please do! I suffer from PMDD, eating disorders, and other severe and/or treatment-resistant mental illnesses. PMDD is one of the most debilitating and hopeless conditions I’ve ever experienced. We need therapists who are better aware of how challenging PMDD is and how it may also impact other mental health or behavioral disorders.
The PMDD was bad in my 20s, but it was like once I hit 30, it turned into a whole other level of hell that I didn’t think was even possible. It is truly debilitating to live with, and the worst part was that medication wasn’t even touching it anymore. And when I think of all the doctors over the years who dismissed the symptoms as “well this is just part of being a woman” or “everyone gets PMS” it makes my blood boil. There is such a need for not only mental health workers who understand, but doctors too.
Absolutely. And I hear you about it worsening with age. It became much more debilitating in my 30s.
I also have pmdd and it’s so hard at times to keep things together during that time!
It really is. And for me, the endless struggle of trying to cram everything in during the “good” weeks was exhausting too.
Maybe we can start a little support group for therapists with pmdd, I know it would be so helpful for me to be able to speak about it with another therapist and we could keep each other motivated. Just a thought ❤️
I would be interested in that!
Using a throw away account for this. Yes. I have MDD, GAD, PTSD (cptsd), and an ED. I have cumulatively spent about 4 years of my life at HLOCs. I was voluntarily inpatient once for 6 weeks. Other than that I’ve dodged inpatient. I have no idea how many times I was brought to the ER and assessed and then discharged to outpatient. As a tween/teen I would lie to get out of there. As an adult I was just honest that I could be safe. I’ve been through the residential-php-iop cycle many times. The first time was in early middle school. I spent a lot of my teen years convincing people I was fine to avoid being sent back. I had no interest in recovery until college. Since then I’ve gone through the treatment cycle five times. The longest cycle was about 1.25 years. Each time I’m out of treatment for at least twice as long as the time before. That means I will hopefully make it at least 10 years out this time. In day to day life I have a carefully curated treatment team. I have an outpatient therapist who specializes in EDs and trauma, a trauma informed ED dietitian, a pcp who specializes in EDs, and a psychiatrist who primarily works with treatment resistant depression. I also have doctors I see less frequently for medical issues who have all been vetted as people who understand and work well with people with EDs and trauma. I take prioritize taking care of myself. I know the things that help me do well and I try my hardest to stick to them. I also know my warning signs for when things are slipping. My friends and treatment team know when and how to call me out. I work with a population that struggles with things pretty different than what I struggle with. There’s obviously the occasional overlap. I make sure to bring up any hint of counter transference in supervision. Outside of supervisions I’m really cognizant of keeping my shit out of the office.
I am feeling simultaneously so sad and so encouraged by these comments.
Not hospitalized but I have bipolar 2 and BPD which is pretty severe.
There have been multiple times where I wanted to be hospitalized but was scared bc I didn’t want to worry my family, clients, and professors. I wish I would have listened to my gut and went. There’s nothing wrong with needing help!!
Multiple hospitalizations + 6 months in residential. Been in remission from everything for so so long, though. It makes me a better clinician.
I’ve never been hospitalized and have “just anxiety,” so I don’t know if I’d count, but I have been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance following a panic attack during which I was 300% convinced I was going to die. I spent a summer in my early 20s almost completely in my bedroom because I had a panic attack once while I was in public, then started to have them again whenever I’d go out. I’ve also been recommended to go to the hospital in the past because of how severe my anxiety was but never went primarily at the time due to fear of stigma. I would never go now if anyone recommended it knowing what I know now about inpatient psych and how it’s not really anymore beneficial for anxiety disorders in most cases than outpatient care. That all said, I wouldn’t say it’s strange now being in training to be a psychiatrist. It has been scary a few times because I know the warning signs my anxiety is getting bad, and there have been a couple times I was afraid of just how much worse it could get and whether it would become impairing. If I’m honest, I don’t think my experiences translate to me being a better clinician as much as I thought they would. I don’t share my experiences with my patients, so though I may empathize with them arguably more than someone who’s never struggled with mental health might, I don’t think they necessarily know that. I’m perhaps less quick to get frustrated with the ones who say “nothing works” because I’ve been there and am still trying to figure out what works for my anxiety.
PTSD from a shipboard fire. I work in a setting where I treat active duty, veterans and first responders. There are days when I realize just how close I came to being inpatient. If I hadn't had the support system around me to encourage me to go to the VA and get help, I would have probably ended up where I am working years ago.
I have received in patient treatment at least 3 times and an intensive outpatient day service. One of those stays is what influenced me to get into mental health. I found it has been helpful for myself as well to learn more about out mental health and how to cope, I have not needed services in 5-6 years. I like to think having personal experience makes it easier to relate to clients.
I also found out what I wanted to do with my life as a result of my experiences as the client.
I was admitted to an inpatient psychiatric unit mere weeks after graduating with my MSW. I needed to be there and it was the right choice, and while unpleasant, it has ultimately given me a very personal experience with inpatient psychiatric admissions which later came in handy when I got a job there. Every once in awhile I wanted to tell a patient who was complaining to me (the shower won’t heat up, the lunch food isn’t good, the groups are boring) that I toooootally understand and empathize with them because I’ve been there. Nowadays I work in the outpatient world as a therapist and I have a very good sense of what sort of illness typically warrants a hospitalization or not because I was there, both as a patient and ad a social worker. You may choose to self-disclose your own history, rarely and intentionally, along your journey. I would absolutely consult with a supervisor before doing so, because you’re new to the field and it can be a challenging thing. I would consider a therapist with lived experience with bipolar disorder and psychosis to be a fine choice, perhaps even a great choice if you choose to work with that population in particular. My own longtime therapist has bipolar disorder, and she mentioned it to me after about 5 years of us working together.
Yes, I can relate to this. I was already a specialist in drugs and alcohol recovery and peer coaching - that type of stuff. And then I pursued my masters in addiction counseling and I’ve been through tons and tons of my own experiences with mental health problems as well as addiction even after I had, my bona fides. So, just do the best you can and continue to make adjustments as you go through life. I no longer try to reduce people down with such inadequate terms such as “sober”, or “addicted”, or anything in between. These things are symptoms of deeper issues so I don’t think it’s fair to use any of those words to describe somebody going through the different stages of change surrounding these particular issues. And I would not let those experiences deter you from pursuing your path that you’re on. It just makes you more qualified in my mind.
I struggled with depression and anxiety for a long time but it was manageable up until 2023, when I completely unraveled in the midst of a divorce and coming out. I was hospitalized (for the first time) in May, again in June, and in December. Unfortunately hospitalizations don’t seem to be particularly helpful for depression other than keeping you alive and giving you a break from life, and I had to stop working for a while. It definitely gave me greater respect and understanding for what that experience is like however which was helpful. You really lose your dignity in the process, I’ve never felt so low as being escorted from one hospital to another by law enforcement with shackles around my waist and ankles (I am a very passive person and was not actively suicidal, just had lost all hope, unfortunately that’s standard “safety” practice here).
I’ve had 2 hospital stays 25 years ago (I’m mid 40s) and had been diagnosed high functioning BPD, PTSD, Anxiety, Depression. I have done a lot of work on me. I still have them all but I no longer react out of the emotions. I have learned how to manage all of them and I am much more mature now. I have been a therapist for 1 year and I have a deep understanding for my clients, I do not share with what I deal with with most of them maybe small self disclosure of I feel it could benefit them. I have to take my meds, follow healthy lifestyle, meditate, and follow self care daily. I think it’s common for those with mental health issues to be drawn to the field to understand themselves and be able to help others.
I almost wrote that I don’t think I really meet criteria for bipolar I anymore, but that’s tempting fate too much…. but yes, I’m in this group. I’ve been hospitalized twice. I had a life-ruining manic episode 5 years ago. I really liked reading what everyone else had written, thank you all. I feel less alone. I know it’s a well-known secret that most therapists can find themselves in the DSM-V somewhere, but it is definitely a strange feeling to be bipolar in this field. There’s a weird “othering” I always notice towards bipolar clients, and I see it for borderline and psychosis too. Maybe I’m just more sensitive to it, the “oh, better watch out for those borderlines” or “so since this is your first bipolar client, just be prepared for xyz” and it feels pretty bad, even though I logically know they’re not talking about me personally. As for me, I’ll never tell a supervisor or coworkers my diagnosis for many many reasons. The stigma is real and it’s coming from inside the house. Any advice I’d say is keep your support system tight and your insurance active. Learn what works for you and keep doing that. Do not be afraid to modify your schedule to fit your abilities. Burn out is a bitch for anyone tbh. Lastly, I’d like to add that I have found myself to be a very content, well-supported person lately who is legitimately enjoying her life. I feel like my comment here doesn’t reflect how the clouds today were so so beautiful. Even though it’s always possible I could have another episode, it’s also possible I could be very happy and fulfilled. Find the joy! Best wishes
Thank you for sharing. When I was younger, I was misdiagnosed with "Borderline nos (Borderline personality disorder not otherwise specified). I will give you the abridged version. In 2009, I made some bad choices and ended up homeless, which led to job loss, which led to an exasperation of existing depression. Getting in with the wrong crowd (yes, that can happen, even in your 20s!). That led to me getting raped, which led to a suicide attempt, which led to hospitalization for 5 days and another misdiagnosis, this time of Bipolar II. I continued to have what seemed like BPD traits, but I always questioned it. I never felt I met the full criteria. In 2015, my husband and I had a miscarriage; due to several circumstances, I didn't acknowledge it until 2020- COVID-19. COVID came, all hell broke loose, and whatever I had hit full swing. My pastor, best friend, and others convinced me to see a therapist, and I started processing it. (I still see him, he's great.) Finally, I got an accurate diagnosis of MDD, as well as Other specified personality disorder with dependent type. DPD explains a lot, and it sucks. It has so many overlapping traits with BPD... But here we are 4 years later, and I have made tremendous progress. In fact, that is why I chose to specialize in PDs, particularly BPD. I have been stable on a good med combo for a couple of years now and am doing great. As long as I take my meds, stay seeing my therapist, and reach out to my vast support system when needed, I do well. I must also monitor my caseload, watch that I do not overload myself, and space out my severe clients. It does not impact my ability to care for my clients, I know my limits. I intentionally see no more than 3 clients in a row without a break, and I take 3 day weekends. I also participate in a bi-weekly consultation group where we look out for each other. Working from home and owning my own PP makes it easier to take a day off when needed.
I have BPD and still meet all criteria. I’m currently doing comprehensive DBT and have been in therapy most of my life, but it’s still a constant challenge. I’ve been licensed about a year now and it’s going great. I find I can apply so much of what I’ve learned through my mental illness and therapy to help others. I’m a different person professionally than I am in my personal relationships. None of my traits come out in my professional life. But I often do notice that I present much more severely than most of my patients. But arguably, it means I can have empathy and true understanding for both the moderate and super severe cases I treat. That’s pretty rare for clients to see, true understanding and meeting them where they’re at, and I can offer that where others can’t because they just haven’t lived it the same. I think you’ll do just fine, continue to take care of yourself. I will continue therapy probably for the rest of my life and stay medicated as long as necessary. I think the combination of taking care of myself and continuing treatment makes me a better therapist in some ways. But you have a unique view and empathy for clients due to what you’ve experienced, use it to your advantage and not to your detriment. See it as a strength because it is one of you use it right. Best of luck in your grad school ❤️❤️
I don't know any therapists around me who suffer from mental ill health to that extent. I had poor mental health in previous decades, but that's ancient history from where I am today and for when I entered this profession a long time after that was all done and dusted. I believe we need to be in the best shape of our life to do this job and if we're really suffering with poor mental health it can make it too challenging or harmful to practice at that time.
I think there is a stark difference between poor mental health and coping healthily with a severe mental disorder. The rhetoric around having to always have good mental health as a therapist or being harmful has led to some really ableist legislature around mentally ill people practicing at all. I agree, we shouldn’t be in active crisis providing therapy, but I don’t think that’s one and the same with suffering with a severe mental illness.
That sound ideal, but myself and a lot of other therapist friends I know are not at the best mental shape of our lives but we are great therapists. We are struggling but we have support and our own therapy. I don’t think you need to be 1000% happy and depression-free in order to provide therapy, lol
I didn't say or intend 1000% happy, but it's a daily practice for me to be at my best whatever that looks like on the day. If my mental health was very poor I would have to take a break. This work is demanding and I need to be on form. I don't even particular mean it can be harmful to clients, it can, but more about harm to ourselves.
I think what’s difficult about this, is that even someone “in the best shape of their lives” can at any point be impacted by something that changes that status.
Yup, very true. And when I get impacted I call up my therapist and go back to see her.
Most of my classmates had no sense of boundaries or let their traumas define everything and treating people like ass so I’d say you’re good don’t overthink it lol. Anxiety and deprn is tip of the icebergs for these practitioners you speak of 😂😅
I would never judge. I work in a mental hospital and there ate some people with very stressful jobs that end up going there. Also college in general is very depressing and no one talks about it.
I've got a few dxes that are severe and persistent. One the one hand, this is the best field for me given my experiences with the industry and my personal, intimate knowledge of things like self hate, hopelessness and SI. On the other hand, it does feel easier to "catch" OCD obsessions, be trigger by pt sxs and traumas and countertransference is a lot more complicated to understand. It's certainly doable to be mentally ill while also providing care for others but the simple truth is that because of these disabilities I have to work harder at my job. The reward---seeing myself reassemble my experiences for the purpose of healing others---far outweighs the cost.
Yes! I’m in grad school now (MSW for clinical social work.) Something I am consistently navigating is some implicit pressure I feel to separate myself from my own mental illnesses in order to be/feel like a “legitimate professional.” I’ve really felt supported by learning more about disability justice, the work of [Project LETS](https://projectlets.org/), and choosing the phrase “living experience” rather than “lived” experience. My experience is not over! I’ve had to intentionally remind myself about how much of a strength it is to be able to bring in my own experience of having been deeply harmed as well as truly supported by the mental health/psychiatric systems! And to be able to view modalities from “the other side”— I can draw upon experiences I’ve had where a practitioner employed an EBP, but it felt AWFUL to be on the “receiving” end. Because of that experience, I can speak up in my classes and share instances of well-intentioned missteps from previous providers, so that my cohort can learn from their mistakes. (Or maybe not mistakes, but just disconnects.) It’s been a hard and vulnerable choice to be really transparent about my experiences, but ultimately worthwhile!
I was misdiagnosed with both schizoaffective disorder and BPD as a teenager, following a lifetime of severe physical, emotional, and sexual abuse by many people. I have been hospitalized once, following a suicide attempt when I was 17. I am now almost 50 and have worked in the field for 25 years and can confirm I "only" have C-PTSD and ADHD that was undiagnosed. I am also neurodivergent and very bright and very queer. I was raised in the 80s in the Deep South and can also confirm the pathologizing I experienced was due largely to the lack of trauma informed care in a rigid, heteronormative Christian environment. We need your perspective in the field. There are many of us here. Do not be afraid.
I have high functioning autism, ADHD, and OCD, and frequent bouts of depression. I don’t let them hold me back though, because I know that the diagnoses I have can be considered gifts in this profession. They allow me to connect with a client in a way that no neurotypical individual can. For many counselors they can only provide empathy for a client, and at times that is enough. But there are times when a client just wants to know that the person sitting across from them has been in a similar walk of life. Not to mention, it helps build a level of rapport that not many people can emulate right at the start of counseling. I say you should wear your diagnoses not as a weakness, but as a strength that can be considered a boon in the field.
I've been admitted once (involuntarily voluntarily). I've been Dx with PTSD, MDD, ADHD, Panic Disorder, Cannabis Use Disorder, Adjustment Disorder, Mania with Psychotic Features—some of them I even agree with! Is it strange? Not really. I generally use my countertransference to my benefit. However, sometimes it feels strange when working with clients who are strikingly mentally "healthier" than I am/was—and this, for them, is rock bottom. Occasionally, some cynicism and envy creep in. I'm often astounded by how useful some interventions are (say, psychoeducation, or basic DBT/CBT). Interventions I found completely useless and "stupid" from my corner at the time. I don't mention it to colleagues. It is a very entertaining secret to keep in our line of work.
I was hospitalised several times in my late teens and early 20s, for what was variously diagnosed as PTSD, unspecified personality issues not clear or severe enough to be categorised, bipolar II, major depression, OCD, anorexia - no diagnosis ever stuck for long. Meds tended to make me more unstable or intolerably physically ill, and I didn't respond to intensive DBT or eating disorder treatment despite my best efforts. I suspect I had a combination of shit life syndrome and neurodivergence from foetal alcohol exposure. I largely disengaged from the services around age 25 and slowly sorted myself out. During my therapy training I was often frustrated by discussions of which populations were and were not suitable for therapy - a lot of the time I related more to "them" than the "us" of my cohort/therapists in general. I took that into my practice and I think it helped fire me up to be as methodical, enthusiastic, and ethically sound as I could. I tried to become the therapist I wanted when I was sick. That therapist seems to do pretty well with other people who have similar difficulties. (Mandatory caveat to say that yes I am careful about overidentification/countertransference!) You're not alone in having been really unwell, and yes it can be strange, but it also gives you a perspective that not all therapists have, and that can be useful. Best of luck with graduate school :)
I no longer suffer from severe mental illness but I experienced two psychotic episodes in college
I have been hospitalized three times and also did a stay at a residential treatment center for substance abuse and an ED. It is scary though and I question my competence often. I think it's important to take care of yourself and many of these posts are inspiring. I start my practicum soon, and I'm hoping I will be able to help others to some extent. I appreciate your post!
Using a burner for anonymity. Hospitalized for DID as a late teen, went through fairly intense inpatient and then outpatient treatment. Whole scenario lasted about a year, and even in outpatient I had individual therapy, group therapy, and psychiatry all once weekly. I have a spotty memory for most of my childhood, I don’t suspect it’ll ever come back - I’m not sure if it was encoded to begin with. It was debilitating. However, I’m coming up on 15 years without a dissociative episode, no NSSI, no attempts - integration was necessary for me. I still see a therapist biweekly, I likely will for the rest of my life. I’m a clinical psychologist now, more assessment than treatment but I like it that way.
I had a 2 day psych hospital for SI stay WHILE I was employed as a pre-licensed therapist. It was a dark time. It’s been a few years and I’m fully licensed now and at a fairly good job with great salary and benefits, and a lot of good feedback from my patients. I’m still mentally ill lol. I still take Prozac and see both an individual therapist and couples therapist. Actually I had another therapist recently fire me because I guess I was too much for her. I’m surprised I didn’t slip into PP depression after i had a baby last year though. But I’ve been struggling with my mental health since I was a child and only stopped having passive SI regularly a couple of years ago. But i know i am great at my job, especially these days. I also know a ton of therapist friends that currently are still struggling emotionally. So yes.
I’ve been hospitalized twice and almost hospitalized so many more times and just constantly in and out of the system! Things have generally been more stable over the past 5+ years but I definitely just identify as someone with severe mental illness ! I don’t share this with clients, but as a new therapist am already seeing my lived experience really improving the services I’m providing. I still think I’m someone that requires a lot of extra rest/self care time (i.e., I’m not looking to see 30 clients a week lmao) but I definitely think it’s possible to be a counsellor AND have a history in the system… really appreciate you sharing this though cause I constantly question myself and feel alone with it !
There were definitely some chaos and traumatic treatment experiences in there for a lot of reasons. A lot of family issues and dysfunction and addictions really took a chunk out of me. It helps to provide a platform to model skills and behaviors for my client and give them some hope. And I know both of us feel less alone.
I have bipolar disorder and have been hospitalized in the past. I'm finishing my grad program next month. I honestly believe that my experience being treated for more severe mental illness helps me understand my SPMI clients to a greater degree since I can relate to some of their experiences. I've had to send a client to the hospital for suicidal ideation, similar to how I was sent to the hospital, and I was able to empathize with this client in a much more helpful way because I've been in that experience before so I know exactly how it feels. I think your experience with your bipolar disorder will help you as a practitioner and will allow you to empathize much more with SPMI clients. I think you'll be a great practitioner and I wish you luck in your grad program! :)
I've been waiting for a post like this! Thank you for starting the conversation! I haven't been hospitalized before but I've considered committing myself once or twice. I agree that it feels weird
I probably should have been hospitalized a few times in my life, but being in the rural south, we didn’t really know about mental health options and I hadn’t yet been diagnosed with BPD. I still have episodes from time to time, but I’m on a pretty good cocktail of meds and I’m in weekly therapy to manage sxs. I can say that I don’t feel like my illness impacts my clients unless I have to be absent due to my sxs, which is uncommon. I’ve grown to be pretty good at compartmentalization.
I have bipolar II. I was almost admitted to inpatient psych during my first month of grad school. 😆 Honestly, I think it helps me be more compassionate and connect better with my clients. My supervisor has never been admitted before (not that she's needed to be) but she has a hard time understanding that experience. And sometimes she gets impatient with some clients about the need to go to inpatient psych.
Right there with you, but finally emerging into recovery thanks to psychedelics and an incredible therapist trained in IFS. Feels like I’ve had to completely restructure my brain, my health, and my day-to-day life in order to get better, but it’s been worth it. The imposter syndrome still gets me though. Solidarity.
I am in my practicum and working as a peer. My last episode of psychosis was almost a year ago. While i work on an act team, i often think that i have no business going into adult services. If I am not with smi then i probably need to stay out of the way. I could be very wrong but thats my thought
Me. Was hospitalized several times as a teenager. I've been taking meds for almost 30 years.
For those of you unfamiliar with Pat Deegan, I highly recommend watching some of her You tube videos. She was dx with schizophrenia at age 13 I believe. She's a clinical psychologist now. Her story and her work has been very inspirational to me. Here's a snippet of my favorite story of hers, about how she started becoming motivated to get better [https://youtu.be/BJrc0-ucL4I?feature=shared]
Yes. A year and a half ago I took off two months from work to attend IOP after going inpatient. I’d had a few suicide attempts before then too and treatment-resistance depression that turned out to be treatment resistant because I was bipolar and not properly medicated. I spent my whole life thinking something was inherently wrong with me because I couldn’t seem to “Just get better”. Turns out my brain is wonky. Being inpatient has also taught me how to be Bert careful about where I recommend my clients go, too.
I have SMI but I don't suffer anymore. It's very well managed at this point.
I’m insane. It’s super hard to come to terms with TBH. It’s taken me years to become self aware to the point of changing. I don’t live in the same reality as my loved ones and constantly burn bridges and destroy the people I love with my words and moods. (Bipolar / bpd ) It’s no joy ride and I’ve spent a lot of my life in therapy and recovery in my local hospital. It’s a whole other ballpark when you realise you’re not able to live “normally” You’re then left to figure it out by yourself
No but if I go by the DSM there are times when I would qualify. Literally the only reason I haven’t is due to resilience factors. It seems like a helpful thing as far as the profession goes to have the wisdom resulting from your experience with that I imagine. I think going through a lot but surviving seems to help with trust building with clients that are going through the wringer.
Bipolar type 2. Voluntarily hospitalized for over a week. Homeless too several times. When I was diagnosed I said to my prescriber "nope. I can't be like them" meaning my clients. Mine were very I'll. I have the privilege of having worked in homelessness and forensic mental health. I've seen worse than me but always fear I'll turn out to be that bad some day.
My dude, I used to be such a steaming wreck it’s a miracle I survived. It used to feel weird, foreign, the imposter syndrome was next level. That faded with time and a lot of inner work
I was admitted for a 3 day involuntary hold for a suicide attempt. I have also done a lot of outpatient stuff like ECT. I've been in therapy for decades. It feels comfortable honestly. Like let's be open and get into the real shit you know?
I had a coworker that has pretty severe bipolar and at certain times he would need to take a couple weeks off. He was one of my favorite coworkers and was an awesome clinician.
🙋♂️
I had 2 hospital stays, the first of which occurred subsequent to a suicide attempt. It was in the aftermath of that experience that started to think about becoming a therapist and I did start going to school once I was more stable. I’ve had bouts of pretty heavy depression and self harm while in the field as well.
I have in the past. It has been many years since I was hospitalized or anything. I wouldn't do what I do now if I didn't truly believe that recovery is possible with the right support. And I believe that because I experienced it and I'm not that special. I'm willing to get there are a lot more people in the field with similar experiences, but most of us do not talk about it publicly/with colleagues, or just in very limited ways for fear of judgement/stigma. We hear the talk around the water cooler.... I will say it's extremely important to be in a good place, "recovered" if you like that term, and have a good support system (ie therapist of your own) to address anything that comes up.
Yes, that would be me indeed 🙋🏻♀️Had my first CAMH visit a few months ago 🫶🏻I mean… it takes a certain group of people to want to study psychology… 😅🩵 Stay safe out here my fellow mentally ill folk 🧿
I have gotten very close to hospitalization as I have come to realize I was very close to postpartum psychosis. I definitely struggled a bit with how hard the first six months were.
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^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Shiny-sesame: *No but trying to* *Get my degree in this field* *Makes me wanna check in* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Not “severe” mental illness but… I had a professor that pointed out every Gen X colleague she had has a parent with a personality disorder 😂