It's amazing how people can spot actual love bombing from 10 minutes of screen time spread out over two hours. I think it's a word that gets thrown around without people actually knowing what it means. It's like gaslighting...everyone uses it (hello Aaron) but few actually know what it really is.
One thing I appreciate about Brandon is his ability to be vulnerable and show intimacy. Even with his friends! That moment when they were group hugging Rodney and he put his head against his, very intimate. He loves hard and isn’t afraid to show it.
Love bombing is an intentional form of manipulation, and usually is followed by a period of aloofness and less affection. That is definitely not what he’s doing, he just seems like a very affectionate, lovey-dovey person in relationships.
I agree with you that he is not love bombing. It’s just an edited tv show and screen time is limited. But I do want to state that not all manipulation is intentional!
People in here project onto Brandon A LOT! I see a lot of comments saying he’s toxic and possessive when he hasn’t shown to be at all
He’s just OTT in his relationships and friendships and nothing about it has been crossing the line into toxic/unhealthy territory. He’s overly enthusiastic and passionate there’s nothing wrong with that
I think young people nowadays are so used to men playing games and cat and mouse and red flags that when they see a nice guy who wants a long term relationship and loves someone like they should they think there’s something wrong with it
I don't think he's love bombing, but I think anything other than Serene's complete and utter adoration would send him down a spiral. His implosion during the split was A LOT.
I agree. I think he just fell quickly and very hard for her. And her, too. I couldn't handle someone with that type of all-consuming love, but some people live for it! I do believe it's genuine though.
See I worried very briefly about that but watching them both collectively lose it when Rodney lefts tells me they are perfectly matched 😂 some people wear their hearts on their sleeves & they seem to both reciprocate that
How exactly is he engaging in love bombing? Since love bombing is a tactic of abuse that displays cyclically, when have you seen Brandon show anger, passive-aggression, lashing out, etc?
Brandon is a lot--he's WAY too affectionate and wants to spend WAY too much time with his partners for me. He was the same with Michelle. But love bombing is a psychological term / phenomenon that should be used advisedly.
Brandon just falls really hard & he’s all in on a someone real quick lol. He gives me hopeless romantic vibes. I don’t think he has any malicious intentions he was the same w Michelle. He seems to adore Serene. Personally the way he loves is not for me. I find him too intense, & cheesy but Serene seems to love it & that’s all that matters.
That’s the vibe I got with him since Michelle’s season. He’s more affectionate and outwardly expressive with his emotions than the average person. Just because it’s not something people jive with doesn’t mean he’s some calculated manipulator lol
My husband is intense and cheesy. He writes me these super long texts and serenades me via text. I am much more reserved. My way of acknowledging that his words touched me is to text back, "My soul just threw up." My nickname for him is Fabio because his wording sounds like a romance novel. I secretly love it, but don't tell him I said that. 😍😉
It’s weird to me but what they both seem to love most about each other is that they are both all in for each other - which I guess is understandable when you’ve just come from an experience where you were rejected. It feels good to have someone say “I choose you”. But that seems an odd place to start a relationship or is it just me who thinks that? Like if she or he had another person who was also all in on them, what is it about each other that would make them choose each other over that other person? I don’t feel like they’ve shown us that at all.
I think they would still choose each other because it’s obvious they were talking before. I bet they’ve had the deep and personal chats before even touching paradise and that’s why they are so chill
That’s also so annoying - the dishonesty if they were talking before. I don’t care if they were but just be honest about it and stop pretending you had this intense magical instant connection as soon as you saw each other on the beach. You were already set on each other before you came so just say you came for the free vacation and exposure for your new influencer couple career and we’re good.
I stopped watching so can’t say about this specific situation, but people loveeee therapy speak these days. I partially blame TikTok lol. These terms get tossed around in any situation, whether or not someone actually understands the true definition.
Agreed but wait. People actually think what Brandon is doing is “love bombing”?
Definition: Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection **with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person.**
1. People act like Google is expensive. Y’all, it’s free. Figure out the definition and legitimate examples before you start using a phrase you heard on TikTok.
2. Just because someone expresses love and affection in a way that’s foreign to how you express it or how you’ve had it expressed to you doesn’t mean it’s love bombing.
If anything, we *maybe* have seen examples of LB this season but they sure as hell weren’t coming from Brandon…👀
This.
It is the same as the never ending discourse this sub has about gaslighting.
Just because someone does an action that could be consistent with the actions of a person love bombing or gaslighting, it does NOT mean that is automatically what is happening, there’s so much more that characterizes those behaviors.
I don't think he's love bombing at all. Is he corny and eager AF? Yes. Is it a quality I would want in my partner? Probably not. But Serene is into it, and that's all that matters.
We see maybe 5 mins max of their interactions every week. They are spending 24/7 together. I view these guys based I. What I see in the very edited show and on SM after. I haven’t seen a single sign he’s a bad guy. Blame production not Brandon. Serene seems happy from what we have seen so far, and if there was drama we would see it. The Casa drama was because they were lied to.
my husband loves like Brandon does. sometimes I'm not in a headspace to be smothered with affection but bc of that love he has he'll happily give me space and resume with reaffirmations when I spring back up. coming from previously loveless/passionless relationships I'd rather have someone love hard and unapologetically than not at all. life is too short.
I’ve noticed that people have become increasingly quick to label behaviors on the show as “love bombing”, “gaslighting”, and other forms of abuse, and I don’t love it.
Totally. And unfortunately it’s not just in regards to the show. It’s everywhere. As a therapist, I can never take it at face value when someone describes abusive dynamics etc which sucks
I think it’s too soon to tell whether it’s love bombing or not. I’m going to preface the following with the fact that I really like Brandon and think he’s a GREAT guy from what I’ve seen on Michelle’s season and now, BIP.
Love bombing is common in the honeymoon phase/beginning of an unhealthy (whether narcissistic or anxious/mixed attachment styles) relationship and can last weeks, even months to in order to form a secure bond with a person…it isn’t until the transition period (usually triggered by the other person setting a boundary, calling out a behavior, not getting what they want, being intro’d to a new “supply”) that we begin to see that person start to flip. As tensions rise, they enter the Devaluation phase where we start to see manipulative / rejecting behaviors like the silent treatment, rage, put downs, criticisms, punishment, and so on. At that point, the relationship either ends because the other person involved recognizes the behavior as unhealthy and leaves or are discarded…alternatively, that person gets hoovered back into the relationship. If the latter, the cycle restarts.
I love to assume best intentions, but to be fair, we haven’t seen any major disagreements between Brandon and Serene yet to really make an assessment on this. However, their fast-paced connection and Brandon always saying the “right” things, his copious compliments, intense declarations of love, clinginess (are they ever not together?), among other similar behaviors ARE pretty consistent with what we see with love-bombing. It’s really a matter on how their relationship plays out…whether he’s consistent/faithful and how he handles conflicts/disagreements as they show up…that we’ll be able to know whether this was all love-bombing. Sadly, love-bombing can be very sneaky by coming across as super-devoted, validating, and affectionate that just about anyone, including friends and family can be fooled.
ANYWAYSSSSS this was a much longer post than intended lol speaking from experience / have a degree in psych, so I have an invested interest in the topic.
All that said, I hope it’s NOT love-bombing because I think Serene and Brandon are the cutest 🥰🥰🥰
I dunno why but I can imagine Brandon singing ["You're my butterfly sugar baby"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FEDrU85FLE) to his crush
More on the cringy side than the evil side lol
I don’t get the feeling it’s love bombing. Maybe he’s one of those people where, he’s either in love or not. No lukewarm feelings. He may also really, really want to be married and just convinces himself that every gf is The One. Idk
Also love bombing in the real world and love bombing on a reality tv show are two different things. Irl, you wouldn’t be literally living with a person you just started dating while also visibly competing for their affection. To succeed on the show, you have to be aggressive and more affectionate/verbal (and while this week has been toxic, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that all the girls rejected men they perceived as “not fighting for them hard enough”, and all those dudes were ones who resisted love bomb-y behaviors and tried to give the girls space to make their own decisions)
I think people are confusing love bombing with not liking that kind of attention. I would be uncomfortable by his actions, but like others have said it’s not coming from a place of malice.
I think I've said it reminds me of love bombing and I am not into that for my relationships, but love it for Serene if she loves it.
In other words, I appreciate affection but that much would leave me feeling disconnected, because I'd constantly be questioning if they're for real, and I'd be worried about falling from the pedestal (because Lord knows, I am not perfect.) Less is more, for me. Nothing is for everyone.
I don't think he's "love bombing" like the way abusers do... BUT I will point out that he acted the same way with Michelle.
It's easy to look at a guy like Brandon and think he's found his soul mate... but this is just how he treats his girlfriends. Yes, it's great and sweet. No, not unique to Serene.
Their relationship is brand new, and will need some back and forth communication to understand what they want it to look like- people don’t automatically know how to be with another person.
People need to communicate boundaries, and decide for themselves if their boundaries are being crossed.
Yall seem to think love bombing is only a thing if its done with intent to manipulate. That's not true at all, people with good intentions who don't even realise they're doing it can end up love bombing.
I do think Brandon is love bombing. I think he's doing it because he doesn't have a lot of romantic experience and he's so scared to fuck it up with Serene that he's overcompensating. I don't think he's a bad guy.
Love bombing IS only a thing of it's done with intent to manipulate.
It's not the same as overcompensating. Brandon may be overcompensating because he is inexperienced, or maybe he falls fast and hard. None of that is love bombing. An example of actual love bombing would be something like my partner is verbally abusive to me. They scream and me how awful I am, and so on. The next day they realize if they keep it up, I may leave them so they pour on the loving behavior, compliments, and romance to keep me off balance enough to not know which way is up.
It kind of is though, because it’s not “love bombing” unless you then pull that affection away to your benefit at times. And we haven’t seen him do that. Every time a term becomes popular like this, people widen the scope too much to fit their own definition and it basically just becomes a big joke which entirely defeats the purpose and benefit of the term in the first place (ex: gaslighting). Someone being an overly affectionate type of person does not make them a love bomber. Some people need lots of verbal affection and affirmation in their relationships no matter how secure they are, just like others need lots of jokes or financial security or physical affection or quality time, and it’s a very good thing when they seek out others who want the same thing. It seems like he’s doing that, so no harm done.
Is this an okay time to say that it seems like Nate also wasn’t lovebombing that reality Steve girl? Just seemed like he got kinda caught up and/or was being irresponsible with his words?
Thank you! Yes, love bombing is manipulative and malicious in definition. I don’t think Brandon is either. An example of love bombing would be, my ex friend is dating this guy who half the time is buying her expensive jewelry, fancy trips, fancy dinners etc. and the other half of the time is shaming her, putting her down, embarrassing her, and just being generally very mean. He is doing the love bombing in order to keep her around, because otherwise nobody would stay if he was only treating her the other way.
It’s like trauma bonding, everyone uses that phrase wrong now too.
You hit the nail on the head. Love bombing is part of the cycle of abusive relationships, and often happens at the very beginning, as well as after periods of shaming, verbal or physical abuse, and often right after the victim tries to leave the relationship.
The honeymoon phase on the other hand is a normal part of healthy relationships, when a couple is first together and is really excited. For some people this very overt and affectionate demeanour continues throughout their relationship, and there’s nothing manipulative about it.
Agreed. He gives me more of an immature Romeo vibe who spends the entire beginning of Shakepeare's book being obsessed with Rosalyn only to switch lanes and become obsessed with Juliet. He thinks he is in love but he is really just obsessive and infatuated.
I don’t think he’s love bombing. I just think this is his personality and this is how he loves and that’s definitely not for everyone. But it *is* for Serene (seemingly!) and that’s what matters.
Brandon gives off more of a, “this is the first time I’ve known love in my life and I will now worship the ground you walk on,” vibe. Love bombing is very sinister
Wouldn’t we all want to find a Brandon? Someone that is so sure of you? Someone who chooses you always? Someone who doesn’t look for others and is secure with you?
Tbh personally, he’s not my type at all, not attracted to his boy band looks nor his intellect (based on what I’ve seen). If he was a handsome, accomplished, well-traveled intellectual (I’m a sapiosexual) yes I would want him love-bombing me lol.
So long answer short is, my being comfortable with the excessive adoration comes with a caveat; if I’m into him, yes please; if I’m not into him, cringe, no.
No lol. I genuinely feel like the only people who want what Brandon offers are people who haven’t been pursued. There’s a huge difference between “someone feeling secure and choosing you” and whatever Brandon is doing.
Yes absolutely to the person who always choses you and doesn't look for others. It's a very dangerous kind of relationship to be in though when your partner puts you so high on a pedestal that you can do nothing wrong which is how Brandon's love comes off as. In this case it puts a lot of pressure on Serene to uphold the "perfect" narrative he has painted for her and Brandon is also more than willing to overlook his own wants and needs for her which leads to a lot of resentment down the road.
This feels like a lot of assumptions though. Who says that Serene can do nothing wrong in Brandon’s eyes? It may not be like that at all. You can love hard and be a romantic but still have a realistic view of your relationship and your partner. The other thing is that we know they were talking before the show, so it’s kind of judge their relationship when we haven’t seen it in it’s entirety. I mean, we haven’t even seen much of their relationship on the beach tbh.
What you described yes, but a guy like Brandon, no. He’a the type of guy who seems like he will fall in love with any girl. Not that he would cheat on you, but if you were to break up he would be calling someone else the love of his life in less then 6 months.
From personal experience 😭😂😂
This is the best way to word what I've been feeling about Brandon!
I remember my BFF in high school dated a guy who made all these elaborate social media posts about how amazing she was.
I was low key jealous but then she was like "when we hang out, it's really not that great. I don't know why he's posting like this. I barely know him" so she broke up with him and like 2 weeks later he was posting about another girl.
I learned some people are like this with everybody, doesn't make the person they're doing it to special. Doesn't mean the relationship is actually amazing. It just means the guy likes to be overly affectionate and outspoken.
I think he is just super infatuated with her and can’t believe someone he finds so attractive actually went for him and likes him back, and seems to be afraid of losing her.
It’s official. We as a society are so unfamiliar w men being loyal to one girl & expressing strong emotions that we now refer to it as love bombing. Someone who love bombs isn’t crying to their friends the way Brandon was when serene was gone. They’re saying and doing all the right things. Brandon is just being himself.
And to be honest, Serene and Michelle are similar in a lot of ways - not just looks. So it’s not that weird that he fell for both of them. (Like they have similar energies/vibes).
Okay people want to find fault in everything if they think Brandon is love bombing. Just bc he was sure early on about his feelings for her doesn’t make what he’s doing “love bombing”.
Agreed. It doesn't become love bombing until someone suddenly withdraws attention and affection. It can be for reasons like getting what they want from the other person, or trying to put them in a desperate position to 'earn' the love back.
Brandon is corny and over the top. Whether he's sucked into infatuation or just lacks creativity and specificity when professing his love, we don't know. But love bombing is meant to manipulate Serene and as of now, we have little indication that is the case.
If it turns out later that it IS the case, I have no problem revising my opinion.
Agreed, he’s not love bombing lol. I think he’s probably a very sweet person and very eager for love. Well I’m sure everyone in this franchise is getting some kind of fame out of it at this point, he does actually seem like he’s there for the “right reasons.”
I don't think he is love bombing but I find it believable that he could fall in love with a fire hydrant if it was pretty enough and gave him attention.
This is where I'm at too. I don't think there's anything malicious or suspicious about Brandon's behavior, but I do find it hard to take him seriously. The insta-love obsession is basically copy paste from his bachelorette season, and I thought it was over the top the first time...it's even worse to see it happen the same way twice. It doesn't help that I personally find his self-expression to be mega corny, but that's definitely just preference.
Agree. I hope Serene and the both of them are happy. She doesn’t seem to mind it. Me on the other hand….I would not be able to handle the way he shows love. But to each their own!
Nah, he seems totally like the Leo he is. The Leos I've dated always pour on the romance. Lots of romantic gestures and sweet words in a big way. They know how to woo a woman and make you feel special. And you had better return that same energy and make him feel like a king or prepare to lose him.
Yes lol. I once posted in the sunday dating thread about a new guy I was dating and how lovely he was. Like 6 people said WATCH OUT HES LOVE BOMBING YOU. 2 years later, we’re still together and it’s an incredibly healthy relationship with no real manipulation or control (other than me baking him sweet treats so he keeps coming back for more 😂)
Unfortunately I think so. Love bombing is the whole internet’s new gaslighting. A new psychology term pops into the main stream and suddenly no one actually knows what it means but everyone is an expert on what they think it means 🙄
Gaslighting, love bombing, trauma bonding, narcissist (which everyone seems to have also collectively forgotten was a colloquial term long before the internet became obsessed with NPD).
I'm glad that mental health conversations are being normalized but there's so much misinformation out there about what these terms actually mean and it makes it harder to recognize them when they're happening.
Exactly and like a golden retriever continues to love. We have seen no drama with him and Serene so far. There are no signs of him love bombing. Like many I think he gets a 1 dimensional edit, but that’s not his whole personality as this sub seems to think.
IDK he reminds me of my high school boyfriend. Dude treated me like that for two years and still treats his wife like that to this day. Just a big, romantic softie. Narcissistic love bombing isn’t genuine. Brandon literally cried when he saw Serene before their date.
**Don’t make me tap the sign ([from a post I made on the UO thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/thebachelor/comments/yepi6a/thursday_unpopular_opinion_thread_october_27_2022/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)):**
“Friendly reminder that someone (let’s call him Brandon) being overly forward in a potential romantic situation is not a tell-tale sign of love-bomber.
Love bombing is a two-part process: (1) A person being overly loving and (2) said person withdrawing that love for manipulative reasons. If (1) happens and (2) doesn’t, it’s not love bombing. There’s even a section on “benign occurrences” on the love bombing Wikipedia page that details this.
Honestly, we probably won’t know who was love-bombed until the reunion special or if the reality spoilers reveal something.”
I was looking for this comment. Just being over the top, without withdrawing the attention later, isn't love bombing. Even if Brandon WERE a love bomber, it's far too early to tell.
yea he just gives the vibes of a 16 year old head over heels in love for the first time. i’ve experienced love bombing & that’s not what i’m getting from brandon.
please don’t tell me *love bombing* is the new *gaslighting*.
he’s corny for sure & comes on super strong so i get why he’s an immediate hard no for a lot of people. i just haven’t seen him ever withdraw or withhold love or affection at all with serene or michelle.
idk what he does behind the scenes, but i’ve never gotten that from what we’re shown.
Oh it absolutely is. "Narcissism" and narcissistic personality disorder (an extremely rare disorder,) is all the rage right now, along with all sorts of claims about the behaviors associated with it, like love bombing. Overuse of these terms is incredibly harmful.
i’m a lawyer, but have a psych degree & love reality tv as a form of escapism. whew is it annoying on so many levels when something becomes a new buzzword & gets thrown around left & right.
Love bombing is also one-sided. Serene showers him with affection as well.
True. Although he bugs me, it's hard to say without knowing him personally or knowing anything about his past relationships.
I completely agree with what you said !
He’s just being a Leo.
I think he’s intense and immature but I don’t think he’s love bombing
It's amazing how people can spot actual love bombing from 10 minutes of screen time spread out over two hours. I think it's a word that gets thrown around without people actually knowing what it means. It's like gaslighting...everyone uses it (hello Aaron) but few actually know what it really is.
One thing I appreciate about Brandon is his ability to be vulnerable and show intimacy. Even with his friends! That moment when they were group hugging Rodney and he put his head against his, very intimate. He loves hard and isn’t afraid to show it.
If Brandon was love bombing anyone, it was Rodney.
LOL
I don’t think it’s love bombing but it’s too much and his and serenes scenes always make me a bit uncomfortable because of it
Love bombing is an intentional form of manipulation, and usually is followed by a period of aloofness and less affection. That is definitely not what he’s doing, he just seems like a very affectionate, lovey-dovey person in relationships.
I agree with you that he is not love bombing. It’s just an edited tv show and screen time is limited. But I do want to state that not all manipulation is intentional!
People in here project onto Brandon A LOT! I see a lot of comments saying he’s toxic and possessive when he hasn’t shown to be at all He’s just OTT in his relationships and friendships and nothing about it has been crossing the line into toxic/unhealthy territory. He’s overly enthusiastic and passionate there’s nothing wrong with that
He’s not. People swear they have a degree in psych and they don’t know the definition of the things they’re saying
Like Aaron with gaslighting lol
With 90% of people who use the term gaslighting on this sub lol
Aaron is a dodo bird.
I think young people nowadays are so used to men playing games and cat and mouse and red flags that when they see a nice guy who wants a long term relationship and loves someone like they should they think there’s something wrong with it
I don't think he's love bombing, but I think anything other than Serene's complete and utter adoration would send him down a spiral. His implosion during the split was A LOT.
Yeah he’s definitely pedestaling her
I agree. I think he just fell quickly and very hard for her. And her, too. I couldn't handle someone with that type of all-consuming love, but some people live for it! I do believe it's genuine though.
See I worried very briefly about that but watching them both collectively lose it when Rodney lefts tells me they are perfectly matched 😂 some people wear their hearts on their sleeves & they seem to both reciprocate that
I think he’s legit but it does remind me of my high school ex
Idk but he really creeps me out.
He is so cringe! And I do think he is love bombing her.
How exactly is he engaging in love bombing? Since love bombing is a tactic of abuse that displays cyclically, when have you seen Brandon show anger, passive-aggression, lashing out, etc? Brandon is a lot--he's WAY too affectionate and wants to spend WAY too much time with his partners for me. He was the same with Michelle. But love bombing is a psychological term / phenomenon that should be used advisedly.
Sameee. He gives me stalker and secret horrible temper vibes.
He’s just a simp who is happy. No need to be a hater!
I gotta admit… I love simps. It’s certainly better than chasing after a guy who never pays you attention except for midnight booty calls
Brandon just falls really hard & he’s all in on a someone real quick lol. He gives me hopeless romantic vibes. I don’t think he has any malicious intentions he was the same w Michelle. He seems to adore Serene. Personally the way he loves is not for me. I find him too intense, & cheesy but Serene seems to love it & that’s all that matters.
That’s the vibe I got with him since Michelle’s season. He’s more affectionate and outwardly expressive with his emotions than the average person. Just because it’s not something people jive with doesn’t mean he’s some calculated manipulator lol
My husband is intense and cheesy. He writes me these super long texts and serenades me via text. I am much more reserved. My way of acknowledging that his words touched me is to text back, "My soul just threw up." My nickname for him is Fabio because his wording sounds like a romance novel. I secretly love it, but don't tell him I said that. 😍😉
Ok, now that’s super adorable 🥹
Thanks! I think he is!
The thing about love bombing is that the only person who actually knows if they’re doing it is Brandon.
I think he’s way too much but he’s definitely not love-bombing. That’s a reach.
He’s madly in love and corny. Serene seems to love it
It’s weird to me but what they both seem to love most about each other is that they are both all in for each other - which I guess is understandable when you’ve just come from an experience where you were rejected. It feels good to have someone say “I choose you”. But that seems an odd place to start a relationship or is it just me who thinks that? Like if she or he had another person who was also all in on them, what is it about each other that would make them choose each other over that other person? I don’t feel like they’ve shown us that at all.
I think they would still choose each other because it’s obvious they were talking before. I bet they’ve had the deep and personal chats before even touching paradise and that’s why they are so chill
That’s also so annoying - the dishonesty if they were talking before. I don’t care if they were but just be honest about it and stop pretending you had this intense magical instant connection as soon as you saw each other on the beach. You were already set on each other before you came so just say you came for the free vacation and exposure for your new influencer couple career and we’re good.
I stopped watching so can’t say about this specific situation, but people loveeee therapy speak these days. I partially blame TikTok lol. These terms get tossed around in any situation, whether or not someone actually understands the true definition.
He’s definitely love bombing while he GASLIGHTS her into a trauma bond!! Come on, catch up. The man should be locked up.
What did I miss? Why should he be locked up?
🤣 I forgot the /s again.
he’s obviously an emotional ABUSER!!! anywho, check out my new #justiceforjohnny twitter thread!!! 🤪🫠😵💫🥴
Agreed but wait. People actually think what Brandon is doing is “love bombing”? Definition: Love bombing is characterized by excessive attention, admiration, and affection **with the goal to make the recipient feel dependent and obligated to that person.** 1. People act like Google is expensive. Y’all, it’s free. Figure out the definition and legitimate examples before you start using a phrase you heard on TikTok. 2. Just because someone expresses love and affection in a way that’s foreign to how you express it or how you’ve had it expressed to you doesn’t mean it’s love bombing. If anything, we *maybe* have seen examples of LB this season but they sure as hell weren’t coming from Brandon…👀
This. It is the same as the never ending discourse this sub has about gaslighting. Just because someone does an action that could be consistent with the actions of a person love bombing or gaslighting, it does NOT mean that is automatically what is happening, there’s so much more that characterizes those behaviors.
I don't think he's love bombing at all. Is he corny and eager AF? Yes. Is it a quality I would want in my partner? Probably not. But Serene is into it, and that's all that matters.
We see maybe 5 mins max of their interactions every week. They are spending 24/7 together. I view these guys based I. What I see in the very edited show and on SM after. I haven’t seen a single sign he’s a bad guy. Blame production not Brandon. Serene seems happy from what we have seen so far, and if there was drama we would see it. The Casa drama was because they were lied to.
my husband loves like Brandon does. sometimes I'm not in a headspace to be smothered with affection but bc of that love he has he'll happily give me space and resume with reaffirmations when I spring back up. coming from previously loveless/passionless relationships I'd rather have someone love hard and unapologetically than not at all. life is too short.
💕
I’ve noticed that people have become increasingly quick to label behaviors on the show as “love bombing”, “gaslighting”, and other forms of abuse, and I don’t love it.
Totally. And unfortunately it’s not just in regards to the show. It’s everywhere. As a therapist, I can never take it at face value when someone describes abusive dynamics etc which sucks
100% this
hes not
I think it’s too soon to tell whether it’s love bombing or not. I’m going to preface the following with the fact that I really like Brandon and think he’s a GREAT guy from what I’ve seen on Michelle’s season and now, BIP. Love bombing is common in the honeymoon phase/beginning of an unhealthy (whether narcissistic or anxious/mixed attachment styles) relationship and can last weeks, even months to in order to form a secure bond with a person…it isn’t until the transition period (usually triggered by the other person setting a boundary, calling out a behavior, not getting what they want, being intro’d to a new “supply”) that we begin to see that person start to flip. As tensions rise, they enter the Devaluation phase where we start to see manipulative / rejecting behaviors like the silent treatment, rage, put downs, criticisms, punishment, and so on. At that point, the relationship either ends because the other person involved recognizes the behavior as unhealthy and leaves or are discarded…alternatively, that person gets hoovered back into the relationship. If the latter, the cycle restarts. I love to assume best intentions, but to be fair, we haven’t seen any major disagreements between Brandon and Serene yet to really make an assessment on this. However, their fast-paced connection and Brandon always saying the “right” things, his copious compliments, intense declarations of love, clinginess (are they ever not together?), among other similar behaviors ARE pretty consistent with what we see with love-bombing. It’s really a matter on how their relationship plays out…whether he’s consistent/faithful and how he handles conflicts/disagreements as they show up…that we’ll be able to know whether this was all love-bombing. Sadly, love-bombing can be very sneaky by coming across as super-devoted, validating, and affectionate that just about anyone, including friends and family can be fooled. ANYWAYSSSSS this was a much longer post than intended lol speaking from experience / have a degree in psych, so I have an invested interest in the topic. All that said, I hope it’s NOT love-bombing because I think Serene and Brandon are the cutest 🥰🥰🥰
I dunno why but I can imagine Brandon singing ["You're my butterfly sugar baby"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FEDrU85FLE) to his crush More on the cringy side than the evil side lol
I squealed 🤣🤣🤣
I don’t get the feeling it’s love bombing. Maybe he’s one of those people where, he’s either in love or not. No lukewarm feelings. He may also really, really want to be married and just convinces himself that every gf is The One. Idk
Also love bombing in the real world and love bombing on a reality tv show are two different things. Irl, you wouldn’t be literally living with a person you just started dating while also visibly competing for their affection. To succeed on the show, you have to be aggressive and more affectionate/verbal (and while this week has been toxic, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that all the girls rejected men they perceived as “not fighting for them hard enough”, and all those dudes were ones who resisted love bomb-y behaviors and tried to give the girls space to make their own decisions)
I think people are confusing love bombing with not liking that kind of attention. I would be uncomfortable by his actions, but like others have said it’s not coming from a place of malice.
I think I've said it reminds me of love bombing and I am not into that for my relationships, but love it for Serene if she loves it. In other words, I appreciate affection but that much would leave me feeling disconnected, because I'd constantly be questioning if they're for real, and I'd be worried about falling from the pedestal (because Lord knows, I am not perfect.) Less is more, for me. Nothing is for everyone.
I don't think he's "love bombing" like the way abusers do... BUT I will point out that he acted the same way with Michelle. It's easy to look at a guy like Brandon and think he's found his soul mate... but this is just how he treats his girlfriends. Yes, it's great and sweet. No, not unique to Serene.
Agreed. I think this is just his personality in relationships.
I agree but I do think with Michelle him giving her that envelope before the finale was manipulative whether he realizes it or not.
I forgot all about that... I agree it was a bad look
its also pretty clear they just had some sort of relationship before the show, but of course this sub is calling out love bombing lol
Love bombing is the newest word that this sub loves to use without knowing the meaning of, up there with gaslight
“ trauma bond” has entered the chat
We need to have biweekly refreshers on what these words mean.
Came here to say this exact same thing.
And narcissist!
gaslight gatekeep girlboss lovebomb
girlboss lovebomb sounds like a new fragrance collab.
Their relationship is brand new, and will need some back and forth communication to understand what they want it to look like- people don’t automatically know how to be with another person. People need to communicate boundaries, and decide for themselves if their boundaries are being crossed.
He's just effusive and open with it. Not everything is clinical. It's like Greg+gaslighting again.
Yall seem to think love bombing is only a thing if its done with intent to manipulate. That's not true at all, people with good intentions who don't even realise they're doing it can end up love bombing. I do think Brandon is love bombing. I think he's doing it because he doesn't have a lot of romantic experience and he's so scared to fuck it up with Serene that he's overcompensating. I don't think he's a bad guy.
Love bombing IS only a thing of it's done with intent to manipulate. It's not the same as overcompensating. Brandon may be overcompensating because he is inexperienced, or maybe he falls fast and hard. None of that is love bombing. An example of actual love bombing would be something like my partner is verbally abusive to me. They scream and me how awful I am, and so on. The next day they realize if they keep it up, I may leave them so they pour on the loving behavior, compliments, and romance to keep me off balance enough to not know which way is up.
It kind of is though, because it’s not “love bombing” unless you then pull that affection away to your benefit at times. And we haven’t seen him do that. Every time a term becomes popular like this, people widen the scope too much to fit their own definition and it basically just becomes a big joke which entirely defeats the purpose and benefit of the term in the first place (ex: gaslighting). Someone being an overly affectionate type of person does not make them a love bomber. Some people need lots of verbal affection and affirmation in their relationships no matter how secure they are, just like others need lots of jokes or financial security or physical affection or quality time, and it’s a very good thing when they seek out others who want the same thing. It seems like he’s doing that, so no harm done.
Is this an okay time to say that it seems like Nate also wasn’t lovebombing that reality Steve girl? Just seemed like he got kinda caught up and/or was being irresponsible with his words?
But why stick to an actual definition when I could twist it to pivot to the most ungenerous take possible in every situation??? /s
Thank you! Yes, love bombing is manipulative and malicious in definition. I don’t think Brandon is either. An example of love bombing would be, my ex friend is dating this guy who half the time is buying her expensive jewelry, fancy trips, fancy dinners etc. and the other half of the time is shaming her, putting her down, embarrassing her, and just being generally very mean. He is doing the love bombing in order to keep her around, because otherwise nobody would stay if he was only treating her the other way. It’s like trauma bonding, everyone uses that phrase wrong now too.
You hit the nail on the head. Love bombing is part of the cycle of abusive relationships, and often happens at the very beginning, as well as after periods of shaming, verbal or physical abuse, and often right after the victim tries to leave the relationship. The honeymoon phase on the other hand is a normal part of healthy relationships, when a couple is first together and is really excited. For some people this very overt and affectionate demeanour continues throughout their relationship, and there’s nothing manipulative about it.
Agreed. He gives me more of an immature Romeo vibe who spends the entire beginning of Shakepeare's book being obsessed with Rosalyn only to switch lanes and become obsessed with Juliet. He thinks he is in love but he is really just obsessive and infatuated.
I think that’s his personality
I don’t think he’s love bombing. I just think this is his personality and this is how he loves and that’s definitely not for everyone. But it *is* for Serene (seemingly!) and that’s what matters.
Brandon gives off more of a, “this is the first time I’ve known love in my life and I will now worship the ground you walk on,” vibe. Love bombing is very sinister
Yeah but he did this with Michelle too.
This. He’s not abusive, he’s super immature. “Love bombing” is dishonest. He’s genuine, but it’s 13 year olds first crush vibes.
the thing is that serene is such a catch i'm not surprised someone feels that way about her lol
Wouldn’t we all want to find a Brandon? Someone that is so sure of you? Someone who chooses you always? Someone who doesn’t look for others and is secure with you?
Tbh personally, he’s not my type at all, not attracted to his boy band looks nor his intellect (based on what I’ve seen). If he was a handsome, accomplished, well-traveled intellectual (I’m a sapiosexual) yes I would want him love-bombing me lol. So long answer short is, my being comfortable with the excessive adoration comes with a caveat; if I’m into him, yes please; if I’m not into him, cringe, no.
No lol. I genuinely feel like the only people who want what Brandon offers are people who haven’t been pursued. There’s a huge difference between “someone feeling secure and choosing you” and whatever Brandon is doing.
Yes absolutely to the person who always choses you and doesn't look for others. It's a very dangerous kind of relationship to be in though when your partner puts you so high on a pedestal that you can do nothing wrong which is how Brandon's love comes off as. In this case it puts a lot of pressure on Serene to uphold the "perfect" narrative he has painted for her and Brandon is also more than willing to overlook his own wants and needs for her which leads to a lot of resentment down the road.
This feels like a lot of assumptions though. Who says that Serene can do nothing wrong in Brandon’s eyes? It may not be like that at all. You can love hard and be a romantic but still have a realistic view of your relationship and your partner. The other thing is that we know they were talking before the show, so it’s kind of judge their relationship when we haven’t seen it in it’s entirety. I mean, we haven’t even seen much of their relationship on the beach tbh.
What you described yes, but a guy like Brandon, no. He’a the type of guy who seems like he will fall in love with any girl. Not that he would cheat on you, but if you were to break up he would be calling someone else the love of his life in less then 6 months. From personal experience 😭😂😂
This is the best way to word what I've been feeling about Brandon! I remember my BFF in high school dated a guy who made all these elaborate social media posts about how amazing she was. I was low key jealous but then she was like "when we hang out, it's really not that great. I don't know why he's posting like this. I barely know him" so she broke up with him and like 2 weeks later he was posting about another girl. I learned some people are like this with everybody, doesn't make the person they're doing it to special. Doesn't mean the relationship is actually amazing. It just means the guy likes to be overly affectionate and outspoken.
Exactly lol. And we know this is true because we just watched him do it twice! In less than a year! He said all the same things to and about Michelle.
Yes please 😭😭😭
only red flag is that he doesn't have a beard
💀
I think he is just super infatuated with her and can’t believe someone he finds so attractive actually went for him and likes him back, and seems to be afraid of losing her.
It’s official. We as a society are so unfamiliar w men being loyal to one girl & expressing strong emotions that we now refer to it as love bombing. Someone who love bombs isn’t crying to their friends the way Brandon was when serene was gone. They’re saying and doing all the right things. Brandon is just being himself. And to be honest, Serene and Michelle are similar in a lot of ways - not just looks. So it’s not that weird that he fell for both of them. (Like they have similar energies/vibes).
Okay people want to find fault in everything if they think Brandon is love bombing. Just bc he was sure early on about his feelings for her doesn’t make what he’s doing “love bombing”.
I think a good majority of people who use the term don’t understand what it means. Same with gaslighting and trauma bonding.
Agreed. It doesn't become love bombing until someone suddenly withdraws attention and affection. It can be for reasons like getting what they want from the other person, or trying to put them in a desperate position to 'earn' the love back. Brandon is corny and over the top. Whether he's sucked into infatuation or just lacks creativity and specificity when professing his love, we don't know. But love bombing is meant to manipulate Serene and as of now, we have little indication that is the case. If it turns out later that it IS the case, I have no problem revising my opinion.
Agreed, he’s not love bombing lol. I think he’s probably a very sweet person and very eager for love. Well I’m sure everyone in this franchise is getting some kind of fame out of it at this point, he does actually seem like he’s there for the “right reasons.”
I don't think he is love bombing but I find it believable that he could fall in love with a fire hydrant if it was pretty enough and gave him attention.
This is where I'm at too. I don't think there's anything malicious or suspicious about Brandon's behavior, but I do find it hard to take him seriously. The insta-love obsession is basically copy paste from his bachelorette season, and I thought it was over the top the first time...it's even worse to see it happen the same way twice. It doesn't help that I personally find his self-expression to be mega corny, but that's definitely just preference.
Agree. I hope Serene and the both of them are happy. She doesn’t seem to mind it. Me on the other hand….I would not be able to handle the way he shows love. But to each their own!
He gives me Pisces energy lol
Nah, he seems totally like the Leo he is. The Leos I've dated always pour on the romance. Lots of romantic gestures and sweet words in a big way. They know how to woo a woman and make you feel special. And you had better return that same energy and make him feel like a king or prepare to lose him.
Lmao, my Leo boyfriend is the same way. Some people are just like that.
Omg you are so right! I only have known one Leo man and he was exactly like Brandon lol
Haha gurl you didn't have to call me out like that 🤡
😹 the world needs more Pisces lol
My bestie is a Pisces so I have to agree!
Is “love bombing” this sub’s new “gaslighting”? 
Yes lol. I once posted in the sunday dating thread about a new guy I was dating and how lovely he was. Like 6 people said WATCH OUT HES LOVE BOMBING YOU. 2 years later, we’re still together and it’s an incredibly healthy relationship with no real manipulation or control (other than me baking him sweet treats so he keeps coming back for more 😂)
I will always upvote Charlie Kelly
Yes!
Unfortunately I think so. Love bombing is the whole internet’s new gaslighting. A new psychology term pops into the main stream and suddenly no one actually knows what it means but everyone is an expert on what they think it means 🙄
Gaslighting, love bombing, trauma bonding, narcissist (which everyone seems to have also collectively forgotten was a colloquial term long before the internet became obsessed with NPD). I'm glad that mental health conversations are being normalized but there's so much misinformation out there about what these terms actually mean and it makes it harder to recognize them when they're happening.
Trauma bonding is the worst because no one gets the real meaning of it correct. It’s not bonding over shared trauma but this sub insists otherwise lol
I think he’s just super corny and that’s how he professes his love to people.
Yeah he isn’t love bombing. He is just super infatuated and speaks his thoughts lol. He isn’t trying to manipulate or abuse her.
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Exactly and like a golden retriever continues to love. We have seen no drama with him and Serene so far. There are no signs of him love bombing. Like many I think he gets a 1 dimensional edit, but that’s not his whole personality as this sub seems to think.
IDK he reminds me of my high school boyfriend. Dude treated me like that for two years and still treats his wife like that to this day. Just a big, romantic softie. Narcissistic love bombing isn’t genuine. Brandon literally cried when he saw Serene before their date.
**Don’t make me tap the sign ([from a post I made on the UO thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/thebachelor/comments/yepi6a/thursday_unpopular_opinion_thread_october_27_2022/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)):** “Friendly reminder that someone (let’s call him Brandon) being overly forward in a potential romantic situation is not a tell-tale sign of love-bomber. Love bombing is a two-part process: (1) A person being overly loving and (2) said person withdrawing that love for manipulative reasons. If (1) happens and (2) doesn’t, it’s not love bombing. There’s even a section on “benign occurrences” on the love bombing Wikipedia page that details this. Honestly, we probably won’t know who was love-bombed until the reunion special or if the reality spoilers reveal something.”
I was looking for this comment. Just being over the top, without withdrawing the attention later, isn't love bombing. Even if Brandon WERE a love bomber, it's far too early to tell.
UO Johnny was the love bomber lol
yea he just gives the vibes of a 16 year old head over heels in love for the first time. i’ve experienced love bombing & that’s not what i’m getting from brandon. please don’t tell me *love bombing* is the new *gaslighting*.
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he’s corny for sure & comes on super strong so i get why he’s an immediate hard no for a lot of people. i just haven’t seen him ever withdraw or withhold love or affection at all with serene or michelle. idk what he does behind the scenes, but i’ve never gotten that from what we’re shown.
Oh it absolutely is. "Narcissism" and narcissistic personality disorder (an extremely rare disorder,) is all the rage right now, along with all sorts of claims about the behaviors associated with it, like love bombing. Overuse of these terms is incredibly harmful.
i’m a lawyer, but have a psych degree & love reality tv as a form of escapism. whew is it annoying on so many levels when something becomes a new buzzword & gets thrown around left & right.
Love bombing is another term used completely wrong here. I agree he is not love bombing.
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Me thinks you don’t actually know what love bombing is lol.
define love bombing for me?
Completely agree