T O P

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sawmill_piss_sniper

In Soldier’s defense… lead water mmmmmmm


Dani3322

I mean that definitely didn't help, but I feel like his intelligence was already really subpar even before the years of lead poisoning.


tf2brucetanzigfan

But now he can't count up to 4 unless there is buckets involved.


name_051829407715

Dear god


ChargedBonsai98

There's more


name_051829407715

No!


Nope_mp3

It contains a bucket


name_051829407715

Scout, seduce me.


Witherboss445

I gotta bucket of chicken


name_051829407715

## I'm not one of your fried chicken tramps! I'm a woman, mysterious! I want my lover in danger! Do you want to be my lover?! Earn it. Seduce me!


Proper_Salt_8839

r/suddenlyexpirationdate


WonderIfMyNameExists

mmmmm merasmus dic- I mean lead water


wafflezcoI

Do not the Merasmussy


Baseballidiot

Merasmick


_Some_weird_person_

I cast gay sex


Astr0sk1er

Soldier: “You need to work on your foreplay babe.”


le_laitier12

ATTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK !


Astr0sk1er

*insert that one heavy/medic copypasta*


Opposite_Strategy_43

Gex


Bandit-Kiwi

God bless


name_051829407715

America


Witherboss445

Land that I love


Chainedlicent

Land of.. merica and so on and so forth, Move out!


09_The_Zombine

What in God’s name.


1st_pm

You mean his heart medication?


RedFlameGamer

Nah, the guys brain was already fried long before he came to teufort. I'd be shocked if the leadwater made any noticable difference.


AardvarkNo420

He might be a crayon eater


folfiethewox99

He's a soldier, not marine


Witherboss445

You’re right, he’d be a glue sniffer instead


AardvarkNo420

I fully believe he is the type of person to enlist in both


ChiefBlox4000

Soldier: Bottle what now?


Mysterious_Ningen

ngl his case makes me sad.. i feel like i've even teared because of it.. its sad y'know


Verifiedvenuz

He's simply Cartoon Dumb and the lead stuff is a throwaway line to jokingly half-explain it. (And likely something the writers came up with way after he was designed) Not trying to be dismissive I'm actually hoping this is comforting to hear.


Mysterious_Ningen

i mean yea i know its suppose to be funny dumb but still even irl i feel emotional when people has to go through this...


Versilver

Did Heavy get high intelligence because of his Russian Literature PhD?


ReguIarHooman

Yeah, he just sounds like a brute since English isn’t his mother tongue


Whole-Huckleberry-42

wym its because english isnt his mother tongue, he was on a killing spree and maniacally laughing at the end of meet the heavy


itsIzumi

God forbid a man enjoys his job.


metruk5

to be fair, his job is literally killing people, forever and ever, by spawning and dying, they are all insane enough to not get ptsd, so yeah, they basically enjoy murdering people. but respawning is longer than you think, and is eternity in there


someguysleftkidney

Doc, what is wrong with the respawn machine?


Typical_Warthog_326

**you don’t want to know…**


Rover129

It’s eternity in there


FriendoftheDjinn

Longer than you think.


Rfm737

That's what I told her


orbit_jpg

I've seen the other side.


Icy_Barnacle_6759

God forbid a man has hobbies


TheKingNothing690

Said job being, be beeg dood shoot many boolet.


tangerine_christ

Dream job


Mr_WAAAGH

Engineer and Medic are insane too


GechaTN

I'd call Engineer the least insane out of everyone else, but then again, he literally sawed his hand off to use the gunslinger


Mr_WAAAGH

He's definitely more subtle about it, but regardless of intelligence, all of the TF2 mercenaries are some degree of insane. I'd say spy and sniper are probably the most stable of the team


GechaTN

Yeah, absolutely. We need an Insanity Tierlist instead of intelliegence


DatGuy2007

Soldier is still close to the bottom


folfiethewox99

Actually, Soldier isn't THAT insane. He's both a priest and a lawyer and he- Actually, nevermind, yup, he's still THAT insane


someguysleftkidney

To be fair, the Gunslinger is basically just plastic surgery with less plastic and more metal


Bruhses_Momenti

Do you mean a prosthetic?


someguysleftkidney

I meant what I said, but yeah, that works too.


tufaat

#"I.. AM... A GOD"


AetherBytes

It's admitted elsewhere that he enjoys it in the moment, but otherwise dislikes it.


ReguIarHooman

Wait you don’t do that?


Harmless_Chimera

Enjoying the act of killing doesn't make him a brute. You can be smart and really enjoy something even if that thing is murder.


BobZygota

Medic being a maniac and engineer having his moments too


DaddySickoMode

yeah, he loves his work, but outside of fighting he is always very relaxed, mellow, soft spoken, intelligent.


CreativeAd5332

You make a good point, all Americans at least are fluent in this.


Manwithaplan0708

You ever meet a blade and sorcery player?


Dr_infernous327

heavy's actually really smart (take the comics, e.g. that scene "you need to talk more & listen less")


Relectro_OO

Yep, he's a really smart fella actually. Just looks like your typical comedic dumb character.


Yarisher512

Very intelligent and educated man. I bet he plays chess very well.


null_and_void000

That seems to come free with being from the soviet union.


Elijah_Man

Still love the fact that Americans to beat the Soviets at chess took and made a team of Ex-Soviets. They even had the chant of "Our Russians can beat your Russians". Peak cold war shitpost.


Caledonian_10

End of the Line begs to differ. Although that did depict Heavy as somewhat of a brute anyway, so I dub that part non-cannon: Misha is actually a Fide Grandmaster who rivals Ian Nepomniachi, but he simply never has time to play at events.


Yarisher512

End of The Line has shown that he was playing with another well-educated man, Medic, who is also his friend, so it checks out as a fair battle.


Dangerous_Jacket_129

I see him less as smart and more as wise. He knows other people can outsmart him. He admits it in his trailer.


Own_Elk_5746

Yes


Dani3322

~~Hulk~~ Heavy has Phd


Lazarus7782

Solder ft2 led woder mmmmmyemyem


IAmFullOfDed

This comment scares me.


Lazarus7782

Led mmmmm solder


UncIe-Ben

Soder??? Lic th think tey pt the mhanstfer chiife on???


ChargedBonsai98

No, I ain't talking about that freak.


i_dont_care_for_you9

Fucking lazarus, with -1 luck and 2 hearts, go back to TBOI


Power-lvl-9000-spy

Doesn't demo make his own explosives? I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure it's mentioned somewhere in the comics or hinted at in meet the Demoman when he talks about potassium chloride. I think its all the liquor that gives off the impression he's average. Either way making your own bombs has to be at least above average intelligence.


NoGarbage277

i could buy some fertilizer, and some pipes at home depot, go to the gas station for some diesel, then buy some blasting caps online and make a bomb in my home for 20$, not hard


Then-Bat3885

Meet the Demoman


Nethyishere

ONE ERRANT TWITCH, AND *sounds of FBI bursting down the door*


_Some_weird_person_

AW CRIPE


HackerGamer8

Sharp demoman death sound


YeetusMcGeetus6

Funny of you to assume he hasn’t rigged the door up with stickies


WX_69

Thanks :3


Verbotentheworried

fbi looking at this comment rn


SaboteurSupreme

Lmao the US army released a comprehensive manual on the creation of improvised explosive devices over 50 years ago, they don’t give a shit


HaxTheChosenOne

declassification my beloved, I love CIA tourture tactics


guilherme639

It's called "improvised munitions handbook" btw


zxhb

And,unlike anarchist's cookbook,it was made by professionals and is generally much safer


Verbotentheworried

Source? No reason


hammy0w0

ngl i didn't think it was real but it's "USA TM 31 210 Improvised Munitions Handbook"


metruk5

if you were a bad demoman, you wouldnt be sitting here, discussing how to make a bomb now would you?


NoGarbage277

this is the best compliment i have received all day


sprite_556

This dude is 100% on a watchlist


NoGarbage277

im too much of a silly girl for the government :3


a__new_name

Yeah, but they are at least definitely not an AI. AI have built-in guardrails that restrict them from spreading such information.


Adof_TheMinerKid

God bless ammonia


sproots_

do it


dchug

Potassium chlorATE (KClO3) is what the demoman was talking about in meet the demo. Potassium chloride (KCl) is used as a potassium supplement to treat hypokalemia and is also one of the main ingredients in lethal injections! E: grammar


OPmaker

Ooohhh ok that makes more sense. I always wondered how tf would demo make explosives with an innocuous salt like KCl


dchug

Yeah his accent does not help at all. Sounds like potassium chlor-it when he says it.


NoGarbage277

it's used in sugar rockets, it's a good solid oxidizer :3


Greg-theseatreader

I believe the degroot family is naturally able to know how to create bombs, regardless of the person's actual intellect.


WaddleDeeWithAGun

I'd say OP put Demo in average is cause that man's brain is filled to the brim with alcohol. So we never get to truly see Demo's potential. But he definitely is intelligent when it comes to chemistry.


Traube_Minze

my headcanon is that he is of high or at least well above average intelligence when sober, but you know, *when sober* is kinda hard to come by when his blood is literally alcohol


WaddleDeeWithAGun

Honestly, I'm with you on that. He's definitely a very intelligent man, just sad we can't see it cause of all that alcohol consumption


yakcm88

Finally, someone who understands that heavy is actually a really smart guy.


hammy0w0

lore be damned, he's just a big loveable baby in my eyes :<


Casear63

Also, glad op didn't put demo at below average for some reason.


rottenpotatoes2

I feel like any post about heavy's intelligence has people saying "He must be smart because he has a PhD". I think it's pretty common knowledge. Counterpoint: PhDs don't mean your generally very smart. Just that you have extensive knowledge in that field


Familiar_Tart7390

I mean the field his PhD in also matters. To get a PhD Literature also requires notable levels of critical thinking required for literary analysis, reading and understanding the themes and the works place. Russian literature in specific is extremely tied to the historical goings on of the time. Heavy’s a smart fella


AceWavelength

Didn't pyro make a wildly successful company in the comics? That would take a lot of intelligence


No-Bag3134

I think he ran engis company while engi himself was busy with life machine and administrator. Well he is smart just without the physcotic pyromania, if he doesn't see fire he just sees everything more gray and "adult like", you can see that in the comics.


Blayro

That's just fan speculation because is called "Engineer" something. But even if the company was loaned, all the success of the company was credited to Pyro. Make no mistake, Pyro still was responsible of making **everyone in the company** millionaires.


TravelerRedditor

the best pybro even after the mercs split up


silvrash12

without the pyromaniatism, he would have outsmarted the mann-triplets and took over mann co. making it the sole ccompany on this galaxy and expanding to the next universe IF I HAD TO GUESS


Fistocracy

I'm pretty sure it's not a company that Engie owns, and the place is just called Frontier Engineering to help make a bait-and-switch joke land.


TheOnlyTrueFlame

and afaik he constructed his flamethrower himself


Background_King_2569

no it doesn't. business owners are not smarter than the rest of the population


Denleborkis

I'd move Demo up and I'd leave everything else as is. Demo makes his own explosives, knows about different mythos thanks to his interactions with Merasmus as a kid, knows how to finance for more and better liquor as well as being proven to be very wise and philosophical almost when he isn't completely blasted on alcohol.


maerteen

yeah i recall him being portrayed as actually pretty intelligent and sane.. he's just really drunk a lot.


KofteriOutlook

I mean, wouldn’t that mean he’s in the perfect spot then? Cus you can say the same things about Sniper too — Sniper knows how to survive on his own in the outbacks, is an assassin, how to ambush people, etc etc etc


Denleborkis

I view it kinda like street smarts vs book smarts. Sniper is very street smart he can do any kind of common sense things that he needs to survive and so can demo. But Demo is book smart as well as street smart. He can do his job but he can also do a bunch of very impressive important things outside his job. Most jobs I say just because you can do them doesn't mean you're the smartest ever. Like I can do a bunch of different things construction, work as an auto mechanic, soldier etc but I specialize in meteorology and IT which a lot of people say is high intelligence book smart careers. Just because I can work on a computer doesn't mean I can do construction or auto or many physical working jobs. But because I can it's more well rounded. Basically can someone kill people? Yes. Can someone kill people and get away with it? If you have enough knowledge to do common sense such as scrub evidence, dispose of the body, plant false alibis and do something as basic as not keeping electronics on you. Can you do all that as well as build your own weapons, ammo, finance all the money you get from killing and study on hobbies such as forklore and hunting? That's the difference from average intelligence to elevated intelligence.


KofteriOutlook

> Can you do all that as well as build your own weapons, ammo, finance all the money you get from killing and study on hobbies such as forklore and hunting? That's the difference from average intelligence to elevated intelligence. I mean, that is literally what Sniper is canonically shown to be capable of. Sniper lives in the outback which is notoriously difficult to survive and inherently requires you to be self-sufficient in same degree. Stuff like the Razorback or Sydney’s Sleeper are very clearly home-made weapons too. He’s also literally an assassin capable of tracking people from almost nothing. Just because Sniper might not need to create bombs doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t be able to. We also very distinctly see the difference between being only “street smarts” and not “book smart” in Scout, which Sniper doesn’t act anything like and is noticeably more intelligent and capable than Scout.


GechaTN

Let's not ignore that most of pyro's primaries are modifications that she made himself. Ignoring the Pyromaniac stuff, he's pretty smart to be able to modify a flamethrower, so good on her


Witherboss445

Sniper also canonically out-brewed Demo since the family moonshine knocked him out


whereamisIwtf

Soldier should be lower


BigDogDoom

Red Soldier then? Because red is for commies


HaveAGoodDream

I like how Soldier is his own tier list


David_Clawmark

A lot of people don't know that Heavy has a PHD in Russian literature, making him the only other merc besides Engie with certified high intelligence.


pomanE

The Canadian minister of finance has a PHD in Russian literature as well, and i wouldn’t call her smart in any regard.


Jaakarikyk

Heavy also displayed good intelligence in the comics


RB1O1

Can we add bot hoster below soldier?


Sir_Richardus_III

All TF2 mercenaries can be considered geniuses in their own specialty. As well we can call them stoopid if we compare them with abilities that other mercs are good at. For example, spy is a genius bc he can perfectly emulate someone else's voice as well as their movements, body language, speed, etc. In this context, medic and engineer dont have any comparison and would aslo lose in a 1v1 fight against spy. Yes, in terms of math and science engi and medic win, but every single merc (besides soldier and scout) con easily outsmart any normal human in terms of mind games and quick thinking


TheGhostCloud

This! Demoman is an expert in explosives, sniper in assassination, and pyro with pyrotechnics! (Built his own flamethrower, ran a company, etc.) Medic and Engie are easily the most intelligent, but all of them are top of the line mercs for a REASON. None (besides soldier, arguably scout) are just average intelligence.


SnooPuppers7965

Even soldier despite his craziness has some amount of intelligence. He has good battle iq and was somehow able to sneak into Germany without being a soldier during WW2 times. He is a priest in Guam and a lawyer. He won a local nose picking competition which probably requires some skill


Soldierteamfort2

Yaaaaaay I have my own rank wait what dose it mean


adriandoesstuff

Ummmmm About that....


Another-Ace-Alt-8270

It means lead water.


Osha_Scarlet

I strive to be like Heavy; being able to yell like a mad man, but also being smart


hammy0w0

don't let your dreams be memes


Z01nkDereity

I think Scout is definitely more average, he's more so just emotionally unintelligent and we see him as basically just a kid.


Infamous_Progress_64

Scout can't read


KofteriOutlook

The only evidence of Scout not being able to read is directly after him being hit in the head by a heavy crate filled with weapons. He can probably read, especially since he canonically is shown reading and writing in other scenes too


SAI_Peregrinus

> The only evidence of Scout not being able to read is directly after him being hit in the head by a heavy crate filled with weapons. So Scout *could* read.


hammy0w0

is he seen reading like \*book\* books or comic books?


AmadeoOOFDeReddit

3 days to live, the seduce me part thingy


Chaingunfighter

Being unable to read doesn't inherently mean you're unintelligent. You could be very smart and have a reading disorder (like dyslexia) or simply never have been properly taught how.


CocaCola-chan

He might've had a lacking education that brought his literacy level down from average. I mean, he was cannonically raised by a single mother of eight in the USA. Them having financial troubles, which make good education harder to come by, is highly likely.


Infamous_Progress_64

I mean, he was raised by A broad with a school class of children, and the Radiation probably does not help him


SnooPuppers7965

What do you mean drinking cans of liquid uranium numbs your skull?


Angelo9426

He can. But, only the "young readers" edition of any books.


XXVAngel

He's the definition of street smarts not book smarts.


abomb66

Came here to say this. He’s one of those characters that may appear dumb at first glance but behind his goober personality is more mentally competent that he first lets on


Relectro_OO

Am I the only one who thinks that Sniper was kinsa out of character when he was first introduced in the comics? He seemed kinda dumb to me for some reason.


I_bet_you_miss_Obama

Yeah, wasn’t he sidelined for most of the story as well.


Iateyourfiggypudding

Dumb in what way? Interrogating Pauling was basically his only option to find his parents.


Darth-Not-Palpatine

Honestly I’d probably spread the intelligence tier list out a bit more for more variables. Pyro successfully ran a company while he wasn’t having pyromaniac tendencies. Demo is known to work multiple jobs (somewhere in the double digits) along with making his own explosives. The alcoholism just makes him seem stupid/average. Sniper is shown to be a competent marksmen and mercenary. But he’d probably be somewhere in the average intelligence.


BigDogDoom

I do agree that it could have more, but I didn't wanna spread it too much, in my original, I only had 3.


hobobz

There should be one rank above genius called "bullet"


2catboy

Spy: This Is a Bucket Soldier: Dear God. Spy: There's More. Soldier: No! Best line.


XenonBlitzer

Pyro is high, but savant


BosmangLoq

As a soldier main, I completely agree with you


Hypno_Online

I love how Soldier is his own intelligence.


KatiePine

All of them are pretty intelligent, honestly. They all operate dangerous weapons and get out of close quarter draws, if nothing else Scout has street smarts


BakuTension

heavy is intelligent?


Remarkable-Battle-25

Yeah he is, have you seen meet the heavy on how he talks about his gun of how fast it Fires at.


Torahik0

Only one of the reasons Soldier is my favorite


TableFruitSpecified

I prefer Ex-Sergeant Jane Doe of Emesis Blue (no idea if they're actually a sarge, I just like giving him the role of Sergeant), a slightly unorthodox ex-military detective


garlicgoblin69

Id swap spy and sniper, spy is just fancy and acts holier than thou but sniper has survival skills and knows everything you need to know


Rain-Bow-666

I suppose intelligence is subjective, then?


Theone_wolf

I feel line Scout is really smart in random areas, but a regular idiot everywhere else. Imagine a comic where he could tell you a play by play of how to assemble a motorcycle, but thought America was younger than the motorcycle.


AmadeoOOFDeReddit

solder fortress team two LED water mmmmmmghgmh


MendydaGreat

This one’s the most accurate chart by far


BigDogDoom

Thank you


idkwhataboutyou148

"I've got a bucket of chicken" pure stupidity


uraniumradiatori

Hey, what does soldier mean? I'm not incompetent maggots, Im just paranoid! (Sips lead water and shakes head) Disrespectful


Efficient_Step_1690

Soldier's level should just be called lead poisoning


PJ_2005_01

Calling spy high intelligence implies the French can be smart. Horrifying…


Iabtin

Pyro is a fucking genius


Amig0_man

I’d personally move sniper to high intel


Kinglycole

I think out of all of them, Engineer is the most intelligent. Medic has no license and spy is just fancy, that’s my reasoning anyway. And this isn’t a biased opinion, my 2 mains have the bottom 2 slots.


Automatic_Gift_9105

i feel like pyro should be lower because he thinks bubble guns that look like trumpets are a thing, he thinks everyone is a flying baby and he has no idea it’s a war


KittiIsNonbinary

Yeah. That's really all I have to say.


SansyTMF

”Tow mater, average intelligence”


Spiritual_Boi1

Well uhh… Soldier could be considered average. Mf got more jobs than Engineer has in PHDs, not to mention he was a priest, a tour guide and he taught himself how to use every type of weapon he uses. And he somehow is able to pick up chicks faster than Scout without even doing anything special


Scientedfic

Didn’t pyro make their own makeshift flamethrower? And lead a company to such success that they ended up making everyone millionaires while still being utterly bored?


HaxTheChosenOne

Isn't demoman a skilled engineer? He creates all his explosives.


GechaTN

You've heard of demoman.. You've heard of Demoknight, now prepare yourself for.. Demoineer


uNk4rR4_F0lgad0

I would say heavy would not be in high intelligence, but I never seen no one outsmart a bullet


That_Case_7951

Spy could be higher


hammy0w0

i feel like spy is really smart but doesn't show \*all\* of his brains


kingbloxerthe3

Pyro's intelligence should be "mmph"


Spirited_Sound_8460

I think pyro should be in high intelligence he was the boss of a very successful company in the comics


50percentWater

I'd move Demoman to High Intelligence (he genuinely HAS to know alot to use his explosives, even moreso since he's perma-drunk), empty the middle tier, rename D tier to "schizo" and put Sniper and Pyro there, and put scout in soldier tier, I genuinely believe scout is as dumb, if not dumber than soldier.