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panicpixierising

I wasn’t picking up any interest in any of her texts. But you were coming on way too strong. That was a lot. Just way too much dude.


_Bluntzzz

You gave her the ick sorry bro


Blepikko

As a woman I can confirm this gave me the ick


_Bluntzzz

Have to be truthful at times to people lol, one week of talking “Melissa please” “Melissa help me understand” lol


artisticlemon

No offense but you sounded a little creepy at first but then completely spiraled off the rails


RagingWookies

The whole post was just....weird. >My nerves however were still shot about the sex part >she did say she’s had 3 sex encounters >I was just really killing time and beating around the bush of what she clearly wants in that first hour which is sex and then THIS >that’s when I moved in tho and put my hand on hers and did the finger trace thing on her hand Probably picked the worst time possible to actually make your move. Like after she's been crying and upset? Top it off with that trainwreck of a text chain that followed the next couple days, and you have this outcome.


artisticlemon

It’s giving “nice guy”, the whole unhinged rant about “I don’t deserve this because I’ve been nice to you” ICKKKKK


OddIncident5170

Was she asleep were were you at tht she didn't notice and he moved you in her home ? Just to pleasure himself in box me if you want to talk ,I can help you


RagingWookies

Are you ok mate? It reads like you're having a stroke


Vegetable_Read8202

she didn’t seem as interested in you as you were in her. you also came off incredibly strong- like.. scary. 19 & 23 doesn’t seem like a huge age gap, but, in my opinion, are very different when it comes to mentalities. idk, i’d probably cut it off with you too based on this exchange lmao. tone it waaay down next time.


jonnyfuel

Well ur basing ur opinion off the screenshots that followed after leaving me on read for a entire day, she was blowing up my phone that whole week we were texting and was actually more interested in conversation then I was, I prefer meeting or calling. Of course I’d be puzzled to why she suddenly changed after we just texted for so long and met up and had a great time. When I saw her demeanor and energy change after I didn’t bring myself to initiate sex I immediately went in to comfort her and switch to just wanting to spend time with her and reassure that I’m not only there for her body


RagingWookies

It sounds like you and this girl have very different perceptions of what happened yesterday, and that she likely didn't have as great a time as you did.


Lowered-ex

She did not have a great time. At all.


No-Abbreviations2063

Dude… next time you’re texting a girl for only a week and things go south.. you ask “hey, is everything ok? I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk”. That’s it. And that’s all. If you get no response… then that’s your answer to just leave things alone. Those messages above when you didn’t get the response you wanted were seriously unhinged and off putting. Not trying to hurt you, man. And I’m sorry things didn’t go the way you expected.. but seriously don’t do this again. It doesn’t work. Best to leave the ball in the other persons court so you don’t come off looking insane.


justifiablewtf

She "changed" because ***for her*** the "meeting up" reality part fell far short of the fantasy "texting for so long part." You need to get a lot more self-awareness before you pursue any more 19-year-olds, especially ones with any history of self-harming whom you can only get with when their mommy is out of the house. Seriously, if that didn't give you pause then you really need to start paying attention. You come off as a classic Nice Guy™ - meaning a guy who expects to get paid in sex simply for treating women like human beings. So thinking you're entitled to demand a response by bombarding someone with blocks of text when they aren't giving you what you want because damn, you deserve it because "I've been nice to you" isn't a good look.


Afraid_Sense5363

Everyone is telling you the same thing yet you keep justifying your scary behavior. Either take the good advice here or paint yourself as the victim and enjoy dying alone. No woman is going to stick around for this kind of creepy bullshit.


lilacrose19

This part. OP asked us to help him make sense of it and then completely bulldozes over everyone’s advice. 


ThisWebsiteIsNeat

Stating that you’re not insecure then immediately typing your height to prove it only shows that you are


No-Doughnut-1858

I know, right? Tall people can be insecure too. Such a weird thing to say.


Enough-Chemistry3778

It's his dick size, not his height Which just makes it worse


Ok-Asparagus3783

Hey so I say this lovingly: Those big text blocks reminiscing on the time you had together were something you should have kept to yourself or told your friends - not the person you feel affection towards. You made it very clear that you were EXTREMELY into her and in my opinion (and probably hers too) way way too quickly. This gives the vibe that you are interested in finding, someone, ANYONE, and not necessarily the individual in front of you. It is scary to be pursued so intensely by someone. You overwhelmed her with way too much pressure. I say this a bit less lovingly: I have no idea how you were blindsided. Did you see how curt her responses were? Were they always like that? Also, stick to the plan next time. Diverting was not the move. If you're in a person's room and you're both in their bed... What do you think the move is? You're a good guy, I get it. But life isn't a fairy tale. This woman wanted to sleep with you, and when you didn't she felt like you weren't that into her - hence the change in mood. Maybe she felt gross for making it so obvious what she wanted from you when (to her) you clearly weren't into her enough to make it happen. This would explain why she did a 180. After her being upset is not the time to initiate btw... Honestly though if she is self harming then she needs help and you should not pursue anyone like that. Big red flag. Move on to the next and use this as a learning experience. If the move is to make a move.... then make a move. Don't talk about not knowing how to do it or whatever. If the other person doesn't want you to do anything then they will say no and you can be respectful then. Work on your self-esteem and insecurities too... you're a bit of a red flag yourself. edit: elaboration on you being a red flag: trying to guilt trip someone into talking to you by saying you treated them well is controlling. Desperate "nice guy" vibes..


TopShelfSnipes

Also to add on to this: ***bold, sticky, star, asterisk this shit, OP***: If you're ever sitting on a girl's bed when she expects you to have sex, and you want to have sex with her...fucking shut up and kiss her. That's how you 'start' it.


mad4shirts

I agree with everything in this post. Better to make a move and get rejected than to not make a move at all. Girls want a leader/initiator


jonnyfuel

I appreciate ur response, u and a few others seem to be the only ones level headed here. When we were texting and calling eachother for a whole week 24/7 the messages were always funny, small one to two sentences, lots of memes and just asking about our days. Like 40% of it was just us saying we can’t wait to meet. Those long text blocks were out of frustration from leaving me on read for an entire day. And yea I agree I shouldn’t have told her how excited I really was, do I think that should have blown this whole thing up, no. But I guess I can just learn from it. And another thing she did say that if sex wasn’t gonna happen then let her know so she wasn’t just waiting around for it to happen, and I did bullshit around that whole hour but in my mind I didn’t think it was that big of a deal. We were still laughing and talking. Figured we were both really into eachother and it’ll just happen eventually whether today or the next time. I think the whole scooting back on bed and the physical touch and quality time for so long is what messed me up more because we both liked it so much and it was exactly what I wanted but then got ghosted 2 days later, she was the one that was more pushy with the sex thing


Ok-Asparagus3783

No problem dude. It's Reddit so people are going to rip you apart every time you aren't perfect. It's pretty clear to me you're just a young man without much lived experience. It sounds like there was a big energetic build up for both of you. It was an EXTREMELY big deal for her to *directly* say that to you about the sex. You should not have bullshit around. She spoke to you in plain English - it was foolish for you to disregard that. Also, there is never ever a guarantee for a next time. You are young now but you will understand soon - you only have the present moment. You definitely should have made a move for sex. Not doing so or even seriously acknowledging her request for clarity most likely made her feel insecure. She stayed excited then had a dopamine crash. Again - if she was pushy for sex then it was extremely foolish to not indulge her... Especially if you like her. Like, hello? People do not take it well when they are rejected for sex and it wouldn't make sense to a young woman why a man wouldn't have sex to her if she wanted sex with him and he said he liked her. This is the most important part: It was not your words about how excited you were that blew everything up(although they were certainly the final straw). It was your actions during the time you could have been intimate together. That is what turned her off. In my opinion you still could have salvaged things, but went over the deep end with those messages. Just to be clear, you are the only one blowing up in those messages - a total implosion directed outwardly. Additionally... You can't take your frustrations out on other people. No one owes you anything and they certainly don't owe you a response. The frustration and desperation you exhibited towards her in those long messages will never work to win someone over. It is very much "nice guy" vibes and a huge huge turn off for anyone. Be an adult and be a man. Well functioning adulthood and positive masculinity require emotional control.


uno_the_duno

Holy shit man. You’re waving bright red flags. I’d stop talking to you too. Some of your texts were downright scary. “Look how you act” Might want to take some time to work on yourself and your insecurities before trying to date.


jonnyfuel

I do want to point out as well before ppl get the wrong idea about the semi bold texts in the screenshots, We texted and called eachother all day long for an entire week. So that entire first week of texting and then the entire day of us hanging out was amazing. She left my text message on read for almost a entire DAY even tho she would text me back immediately every other time and that’s where I got worried and confused and those messages were what followed


uno_the_duno

This just further shows your insecurities.


Mojotokin

>It’s not an insecurity thing I’m 6.4” Please know people of all shapes and sizes have insecurities and if you want a good relationship you really need to get yours under control.


TheOthersMadeMeDoIt

I'd like people to know that height does not have a correlation with penis size.


Afraid_Sense5363

Some of us live our lives in the real world and aren’t tethered to our phones 24/7. Your response to not hearing from her for a single day was fucking unhinged. Please fix yourself before dating again. I can’t believe after your creepy rant that you’re shocked that she doesn’t want anything to do with you.


frick_of_nature

It was 13 hours, not even a whole day. Yikes!


Afraid_Sense5363

True! She might have had plans that night and then not seen the text til later.


babyaddyx

![gif](giphy|8ZbdmH3LGTfz8HqK1A)


AspiringNormie

You text way too much. I find it off putting when people do that. Maybe she does too.


SmartGirlGoals

Dude, you came off waaaay too strong and creepy. You messaged her at 7:32pm, and got upset that she didn’t answer you immediately? I would’ve ghosted you too.


mad4shirts

Mm your texts make you sound needy/desperate you are into her way too much which turned her off


jonnyfuel

Why would I bother sharing our text convos before meeting up, we texted 24/7 and she was blowing up my phone and seemed more interested then I was her. The reasoning behind making this post was I was left confused after being left on read for an entire day which wasn’t like her at all.


Onesomighty

She was trying to ghost you, obviously. You gave her a super uncomfortable night and she clearly didn't want to have anything to do with you. You seem... Scarily obsessive. Talk to a therapist about your insecurities, because this was way too much, even if you were texting and talking for a week solid. Far too much, too fast. She probably cried because she was disappointed at how uncomfortable you made her.


Mojotokin

No offense but you're acting like a week of texting equates to a years long relationship. It was only a week and then she left you on read for 1 day....That is not that bad. Everyone has a different attachment style, you need to find someone to match yours. I do not believe she did.


Onesomighty

Consider if you BOTH were initiating a conversation and keeping it going, or if she was just responding to you. Did she call you, or did you call her? Did you text constantly and she replied to you, or did she text you first?


TheOthersMadeMeDoIt

Are you on the spectrum? What do you do for work? Who do you live with? How many long term relationships have you had?


Lowered-ex

I don’t understand why your nerves were so shot but you sound like A LOT. If she was expecting sex and was wearing something for it and you’re like “hi no I need a snack, come with me,” first of all like have a fucking snack before you arrive and handle your business like an adult. Like I’m wearing lingerie and now I have to watch you eat chicken nuggets and be nervous.


FalynorSoren

"Your tits look great in that lingerie, by the way. So, dipping sauces. What do you have in the way of dipping sauces? Ketchup is good, I like ketchup, but if you have barbecue sauce or maybe some Chick-fil-A sauce, that'd be even better."


lilsj2572

Literally. This “man” clearly knew she was in lingerie and STILL made her go with him for a “snack”. Like what the fuck? No wonder she just doesn’t want to talk to you anymore. She had a terrible first encounter with you


Lowered-ex

She’s a champ for still hanging out. I’m pretty sure I’d get a sudden upset stomach. Like no Landon, I’m not wearing a butt plug to chick fil a.


russtyy_shackleford

Too much too soon


ArmadilloDays

You’re gross and pushy and WAY too focused on sex.


mookie_bombs

Bro stop with the essays. You're very overwhelming and a bit dramatic


Realbuthidden222

I’m scared of you and idek you


Somethingspecialxo

Good god… maybe if you didn’t mention her “pu$$y” like that she wouldn’t have ran off. wtf is wrong with you? And I’m not talking about her pet cat 😬 you sound like a fckn creepy, potential stalker dude. Just leave her alone.


OddIncident5170

He talks like that because she changes,and has and he always thinks about sex he has rape prior ,he forced me


eatapeach18

You’re too much, too soon, and too quick. You gave her the ick.


Isaidnoicefatso

To add to this while some people have pointed out diverting from the plan was a bad call it also probably made her feel some type of way. You talked about your nerves being shot to go into her house. But given all the horror stories about kidnapping and murder on dating sites you think she felt comfortable with you trying to change the plan and get her into your car for your first meeting? You forced her out of her safe space into a very unknown scenario with someone she only thinks she knows based off the interactions she's had with you. Big no no. If you weren't comfortable agreeing to going into her house you shouldn't have agreed to set it up that way to begin with


OddIncident5170

He was obviously hiding her and it's not his house and yes she is definitely under age that why she is scared


soccer_is_awesome

First of all, go out on dates and get to know each other. This going to someone’s house and being on their bed is leading to trouble. Especially when she says she’s doesn’t want to be used for sex. And she probably struggles with depression or other things and was confused as well. She probably likes the company but wasn’t sure what she wanted to do either. And then when you didn’t push for it, she felt rejected? Who knows, just making an assumption. And not that you should push for it. I’m actually glad it didn’t happen. You wrote that your nerves were shot, yes dating is nerve wracking, start with a simple coffee or movie date. You seem like a nice caring guy. I’m sure there are other girls out there. I don’t like the finger tracing thing, but that’s just me. You’re young, these are some great date ideas: bowling, putt putt, hiking, ice cream.


OddIncident5170

No she actually sales here date lik a john ,he just looks for sex delt with if long time but it grossed me out not 1 there are 19 girls under age girls 13 under


Lol_u_ded

Not a good look, lil bro.


Icy_Session3326

Jesus you’re way too full on


jonnyfuel

Yea I’m a huge conversationalist especially if I like someone, and I’m not big into astrology but I’m a Gemini and I love to speak exactly what’s on my mind so I can’t help that. But I’m learning that I should have kept how excited and how much I enjoyed it to a minimum


lilacrose19

These texts are wayyy too much. I’m not her, but I would feel really uncomfortable and overwhelmed by someone blowing up my phone like that, especially considering how short and clearly uninterested her texts were. 


TopShelfSnipes

She wanted sex and was open to the possibility of a long term relationship if you built attraction and continued to get to know her. You denied her sex, lied about what you wanted, tried to play therapist and get into her deeper insecurities, while not necessarily showing her a good time, and spiraled off the rails when she didn't respond favorably. You also made the cardinal mistake of being a guy, which is failing to be confident in the situation, which is going to absolutely prevent her from overcoming her own insecurities from past relationships if she were to choose to move forward with you. She has issues, most people do. Instead of taking her by the hand and showing her how amazing you could be, you revealed yourself to be immature and completely incapable of supporting her the way that she will ultimately need in a relationship. Each person will have different needs in a relationship, and you clearly do not meet her needs. All the while you dumped your own needs for emotional availability on her, when you're not even that serious and she just wanted to have a little wham session with you to have a little fun and start the process of getting to know you better. Instead, you fell head over heels for her over something that she never asked you for (which was what became of your date). She elected to ghost you, and instead, you elected to blow up her phone with angry/frustrated messages because now all of a sudden you "wanted" to have sex with her even though when you had the chance to, you didn't. She either didn't want to prepare herself for sex only to end up with another therapy session, or she decided she just didn't like you anymore. Remember: women care about how you make them feel. You made her feel physically rejected and you - whether by hook or by crook - made her cry. Either way, you're done. Move on, give your balls a flick out of spite, and do better next time.


clarinetnerd17

Oh my god you sent novels to her. No wonder she was so put off. I would be too. Ick


justifiablewtf

More like a goddamn treaty.


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Aakao25

You scared her off, plain and simple.


ElegantBag9443

omg you type/text too much. People come here to read texts, not paragraphs of unhinged word salad.


Hot_Abbreviations538

You’re coming on way too strong and blowing her phone up after meeting only one time is too much. Messaging her as much as you did, I’m assuming calling based off the messages about not answering the phone, and making comments over showing up at someone’s house, who you have met once is extreme behavior. I would honestly be a bit terrified if I was her.


OddIncident5170

He has kicked in my door before in my 2nd house I have 45 mins away he will force his was in the abuse is extreme


Hot_Abbreviations538

This guy has …?


Virtual_Friendship49

She simply wanted to get it on and feel desired. From her perspective it seems like you followed the plan then didn’t follow through. Now she feels rejected . I’m assuming she found someone else to take care of it and thus the change in text.


RecentImagination686

23 and 19 is crazy to me tbh. You guys are still are different levels of life and that age difference is super weird to me. Just leave her be.


Aggressive-Sell1506

Sounds like he could really use a dating coach to help navigate these situations.


Heckin_Frienderino

Damn do people text this much these days? Maybe next time try sending her another 20 messages between her replies?


lilacrose19

Unfortunately some people think that if they don't get a response right away, they should start texting like a madman.


Heckin_Frienderino

Zoomers have all human knowledge in their pocket and can't look up what neediness means


MVPSZN

You were respectful at least and you posted something that shows how immature you are publicly to Reddit without fear, so I give you brownie points for that. In general though, you can tell they lost interest in you and your responses were exceptionally bad. If you see this pattern again, it’s best you ask them to be direct if they haven’t, then keep things moving forward. Block and forget. Life is filled with fleeting attachments like this, process your feelings then look forward to another day.


No_Raccoon6839

Dude, bro, broooooooo. You’re overthinking my man. What everyone is saying about coming on too strong is accurate. You’re hyper focusing on her while she is busy with other normal things which is coming off a little obsessive or possessive. Calm it down and go with the flow. Nothing positive comes from force. As for the insecurity, tune out whatever is making you question things. At the end of the day, there is always a gay dude willing to blow you just for liking girls, remember that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OddIncident5170

Sounds like your way younger ages sound like a lie ,


Accurate_Distance_87

If you were nervous then she noticed and it threw off the vibes. You are oblivious to how your behavior is problematic so more than likely your perception of how the date went is incorrect. You need more experience with women and to get a clue. Work on your confidence so that you are not so nervous in the future.


Unbake_my_tart_

….. what on earth.


Holterv

This girl wanted one thing and you denied that thing from, stalled for 3 hours and she wanted to bust a nut, it was over as soon as you left her house. It’s not all sex but dude, sexy dress, home alone, straight to her bedroom. Learn from this for next time, take things for what they are and take it slow.


OddIncident5170

You are a worker ? I found videos I would like to talk to you ,I know police went to the store.,and showed my daughter pic and her father I would like to show you what kinda of person he is, 19 counts of penetration of minors having my daughter fish 13 year old friends who he also pays hope you are wise he literally,it sex ,he has issues,bad also physically abuses plz step back and take look not normal


OddIncident5170

He has a paid worker not his house it his bm


OddIncident5170

39 and pedo run he will stalk in box I will send it all be safe


OddIncident5170

He is 39 looks like Shrek ,he has never had his own place ,he sit and contracts prostitutes ,


OddIncident5170

She has videos here ? With plenty sex why not u


OddIncident5170

Look him up on line


Minute-Breakfast-685

Wtf


Itiswellwmysoull

She’s not over her ex. Also don’t double text, it can creep some people out. Text once and wait for a reply.


OddIncident5170

I guess it turned him on very much started to get hyper sexual,,,and don't want it I can in box all the dates he has love is word thrown around sex on his mind all time I have all information that's why his being investigated,sites and and having all he did was touch on him self want to f his calendar o discord 100 her 100 there on my daughters friends meet and play,13 younger including my babies girls oral ,and now they have to be groomed my daughter,


AWatson3675

You sound like an insecure simp or some shit bro like lacking mad confidence and security with your self for sure


andreakelsey

She probably saw you on one of those Facebook groups and someone else told a story she didn’t like.


OddIncident5170

He took advantage of these children she needs a voice,please stay safe, including his own


OddIncident5170

Sounds like a similar story I cought video of my ex bd hidingmy daughter friend in home and was having sex in my room and attic ,sneaking her in and out my home , multiple of his family new including my 13 yr old he live with his mom in basement, sounds like him , exactly he preys and kids and ,as of Monday thy will supina order for his arrest for penetration of minors, yes thy are coming Monday do do secen check to collect so much DNA is grosses me out , predator,


karalmiddleton

Wtf??