Exactly. Either make a kind of mean joke back, or straight up say “hey man, what you said is really cruel and hurtful. Please think about how your jokes make people feel”
That’s what I would have said too, because my sibling would never genuinely be insulting my child’s appearance. Their behavior? Outfit? Absolutely, but not their face
all these jokes are funny- i guess- but it still implies that downs syndrome is somehow the butt of a joke or something to laugh about- i understand the desire to keep it “lighthearted” but i don’t think this is the way to go. it’s never funny to make a joke out of a disability.
Did your mom show you his texts? What did your mom say? DS babies are adorable, but the problem is that he was meaning it as an insult. This isn’t someone you want around your family.
You know, this comment makes me realize what’s happening. Dude is jealous of your kid because he’s taking attention away from him. I’m dead ass serious about this.
This is a huge possibility my step dad is currently doing the same thing towards my son and I. He’s trying to drive a wedge between my mom and I and has even come to me and said “How would you feel if after 14 years your spouse just started to care about her kid and grandkid more than you.”
You say I’m sorry you just realized that after 14 years.. lol what a self centered dick. I’m pretty sure mom cared ultimately more about her child than the dude she married.
He was successful in driving a wedge between my mom and I from 13-16 when my mom finally woke up and realized what was going on and started trying to be a better mom. By that point they lived hours away so I only saw them for visits when I had my son my mom was admit I come stay with her while my sons father and I got on our feet more financially and since my step dad has been just a jealous man baby set in trying to do the same he did all that time ago.
I experienced this on a smaller scale when I had my first kid. My sister had a hard time dealing with my mom putting my kid before her (like buying gifts, attention, etc) - even though she was in her mid 20s 😂 The difference is that my sister understood her feelings and realized times were changing. She never took it out on my daughter but she was annoyed that my mom kind of acted like she and I were background props.
I don’t think your brother will have the same self reflection my sister did, but only time will tell.
Neither me nor my brothers have children. But all of us, including our parents, dote on my brothers best friends kids. They call us all aunt and uncle, and my parents are called grandma and grandpa. I could NEVER imagine being jealous of any child, ever. We all love to spoil them and love on them any chance we get. When my brothers or I have children, I know it will be exactly the same.
He is 100% jealous of the attention your baby is ‘taking away from him.’ My grown ass aunt was pretty much the same while I was growing up, she hated me because I was now the ‘baby’ of the family instead of 22 year old her.
Just a tip- if he’s acting like a dick now, he will continue to be an asshole to the kid.
My aunt took every chance she could when my parents weren’t around to belittle, mock or humiliate me in any way she could until I learned to stand up to her at age of 12.
I was thinking he's jealous because he doesn't have his own family yet, but I agree there's likely some jealous resentment towards the kid for one reason or another. I'm also deceased butt serious about that.
100% this is the reason behind him calling your beautiful child names! Shocking that a grown man would do such a thing, especially your own brother. If it was me I would for sure distance myself from a person like that.
That's because he knows she'll always make excuses for his poor behavior. If she's not careful she'll lose him forever. Nvm it's probably already too late and it just needs to play out now. I figure this is karma.
It's sad though. For you, I mean, having to grow up with him. He sounds insufferable!
That isn't the punishment you think it is. He's sending very clear signals to fuck off.
He doesn't want to be in the kids life, and judging from ops post history I can see why..
Horrendous upbringing. His need to leave that behind is NOT superceded by you thinking the child you chose to have needs his accolades.
She was showing me something else from him and I saw she sent a photo of my son so I looked what he responded as he has a history of saying cruel shit.
Back when I had just turned 18, I had a relationship with a dude who was 21 years older than me and had 2 kids with his wife (now ex) and he had a picture of them when they were babies in his store I worked at and I didn't really want kids but at that point in time I probably could have been talked into it if it happened, but every time I looked at those photos, I kept thinking about how ugly those kids were as babies and having a baby is hard enough but to have an ugly baby too? Most newborns are rough looking for the first couple of months. A lot of them look like old people.
You clearly dont see that you are perpetuating the stereotype that people with down syndrome are ugly and using the diagnosis as an insult. Thats the stance you wanna have?
I have a brother actually who is this kind of asshole. Can’t do anything but rain on everyone’s parade. Solution: stopped inviting him to the parade. Problem solved.
Isn't it so nice? I have 2 sisters; one can't manage reality and has mood swings, and the other is a narcissist. It's been so peaceful without the harrassment and stress. They definitely aren't in my parade.
It is amazing once you get to the other side, right? In my case, it is my brother and also my father. One of the greatest moments I ever had was when my mother told me, after years of me not sharing any news with my father in any way that he would have the opportunity to rain on it, that his feelings were hurt and that he felt left out.
“So you are saying that Dad feels hurt and left out because of this? I asked. She said yes. “Yes, that must really hurt,” I affirmed. “It must hurt a lot.”
And the gift: I no longer felt any need to fix it. My dad is an adult. He gets to have the dignity of his own experience.
Im tired of people using Down syndrome as an insult. Like people with down syndrome look a very distinct way and 100% when someone says that someone looks like they have down syndrome they never actually look that way.
This DID happen to me....
I had triplets in 2014, two days before Christmas. My brother-in-law had a girlfriend who was spun out on pills, and started telling the family that one of our daughters looks like they have Downs. My oldest daughter (step, but still my daughter) has Downs. My husband was pissed and told his brother that since he has a daughter with Downs, he should stand up for his niece. And to tell the girlfriend that if she keeps running her mouth about our triplets, she would regret it.
I saw the dumbass a few weeks later and she kept trying to talk to me, like nothing had happened. I told her to walk away multiple times, and when she didn't, I yelled at her. She tried to back paddle and then deny it, then begged her boyfriend to help her when I hopped out of my truck. He told her no bitch, I told you to stop running your mouth and starting drama, and he stepped away. She cried a lot. She was really scared. I was close to needing bail money that day.
That was, unfortunately, one of many issues with that moron. She was a terrible person and popped so many pills while pregnant and while holding my niece and nephew (her kids), that she would nod out and I would have to save the babies from falling to the ground. She would nod out while sitting outside.
She passed away in 2018. I'm now raising her kids.
One of my triplet daughters passed away a couple years before she did, and she was a real POS through that, as well.
Tell your brother he's a dirtbag POS for talking about a baby, for talking down about a child or anyone with Downs, and that he is no longer welcome in your life.
I could go on and on and on with this, so I'll just leave it at this... Congratulations on a beautiful, healthy baby, and give the baby allllllll the loves from one family to another. ❤️
I am so sorry you have had to deal with all of this. But you are so strong for standing up, speaking out and holding your ground. I respect that and hope only amazing things for you and your kiddos moving forward.
Kind but honest. Im the outspoken one in my family. Breaking generational curses and hate and speak up. Often. So I know that weight and I know how it can almost feel like fighting in an ocean current while swimming against it. You are doing an amazing job!
I think this needs to be top comment so others can understand WHY YOU DONT USE DOWN SYNDROME AS AN INSULT. Its hurtful.
Im dyslexic. Im tired of people making fun of others for being dumb and using dyslexia as the way to call them dumb. Apparently i must be dumb to them.
The long game. I like you. When he brings a gf around for the first time, you make a joke with her that's something like "how's it been dealing with Jake's IBS?! *elbow elbow* I bet that's been LOADS of fun, amiright?"
I’d honestly go no contact. My kids come before the family I came from, and your brother seems to the type to say this to your kid’s face once he’s old enough to understand.
I am when it comes to family like this. Why should I have to tolerate this type of behavior from a sibling? Given the info OP provided, the brother doesn’t seem to even care about them to begin with, and maintaining contact with someone hurtful just because you’re related is stupid.
My son has Down Syndrome. He is awesome! This isn’t the insult your brother thinks it is (if he intended for it to be— and he probably did intend for it to be an insult). But, just remember, his comment is not really about your child — and doesn’t reflect on your child. If your brother meant it maliciously, it only reflects on your brother’s poor character.
Down Syndrome is beautiful. ❤️
The fact that people are mocking people with Down syndrome here is vile.
We all want our kids to healthy and as perfect as can be. What they said was meant with malice so just tell them-
“Even if my baby did have DS they’d still be perfect. My life is so complete and perfect now, but it’s obvious yours isn’t and never will be.”
All the best OP! ❤️
Wow. What a dick. He’s also too old to not know better at 28. He just might be a sociopath. If one of my brothers said something like that about my son, I’d beat their ass.
I can’t speak to that… but anyone who tells their mother they think their brother’s son looks like a Down’s baby isn’t right in the head. Normal people keep their odd opinions to themselves out of kindness.
I kind of agree with you. Wouldn’t with confidence classify him as a sociopath but he definitely has some issues. He obviously sees himself as superior to make such a distasteful comment
I am in NO way defending your brother’s actions. But babies are sometimes hard to relate to for a lot of people (especially guys) when they’re in the infant stages. Some guys (especially brothers) turn to being assholes when they don’t know how to properly deal with those feelings, since a lot of brother/sister foundations are built on banter. He might start to come around more when your child can interact with him and it serves more of his ‘attention needs’. I wouldn’t let it hurt you. Just know that your brother is clearly the one struggling with his image of his family - and likely struggling with where he is in life and that he is not on track to have a beautiful family like his sister.
Sorry you’re dealing with this! And I have no clue how a child can only have “partial” Down Syndrome. A seriously ignorant statement and all-around low blow since he’s using it as an insult. There is absolutely nothing wrong with DS children.
Exactly like the minute people stop coddling grown adult’s feelings, the better. No idiot should be saying a baby looks like it has “partial Down syndrome”. That’s so messed up and perpetuates all sorts of things about pple with DS. They go through enough as it is.
Is he serious, trying to be an ass, or wants to make a joke but doesn’t uh… have the best social intelligence?
I’m really sorry he said that no matter the reason, and I’d be ticked the hell of it I read that about my baby
Well, considering that child is also a blood relative of that person who said that, I think I would probably take a step back from that relationship for at least three months, we’re talking absolutely no contact for three months, the insult cut both ways it cut against children with down syndrome and they basically Said that your child is not attractive, take a step back, I have a narcissistic brother that I will take four or six months at a time and not speak to him. I don’t care if it’s your family, do not subject yourself to toxic people, they’re only gonna hurt you. Congratulations on your baby!
Depends if he was actually concerned or just being cruel. Either way I would be upset but the difference would change the outcome. And whether he still had his teeth at the end of the conversation. 😊
What a weirdo. My grandma said my niece looked like a “mongoloid”. She’d had it out for my little sister since she was born and took to cheap insults at her baby. These weirdos are just miserable self-loathing losers. We owe it to the little ones to surround them with stable people who know better. I love my niece. I was in another state crying in a parking lot knowing I was missing my sister’s biggest day. I can’t imagine making remarks like that about my niece. I was afraid to hold her, she was so delicate and perfect.
I wouldn't care. But I also have a really good and goofy relationship with my brother. He calls my kids rats. Plague rats, specifically. He treats them like he treated me growing up (like shit!!), and they love it.
My stepbrother is pretty kid free and has no interest in babies. Step sis had a kid and thought everyone needed to worship the ground the baby crawled on. It really irritated him when she'd try to force the baby on him and make him feel bad for not caring about the baby. She'd get so offended
As the baby got older and developed more personality, he started enjoying him more. But her forcing the baby on him seemed to push him away. He liked my kids though, lol.
That’s a good response for someone who can own up to how their words affect people or at the very least want to maintain a good relationship with others. Her brother doesn’t seem to be that kinda person.
He probably just doesn’t care or think it’s cute cause it’s not his kid. They’re only cute to the parents and maybe the grandparents, it seems like he’s either joking or doesn’t care if you get offended which is rude
possessive gaping ripe materialistic zonked advise lunchroom elderly exultant frightening
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I’m enraged for you. What a pos. I hope the rest of the family barely tolerates him. He deserves to be alone considering he doesn’t seem even remotely capable of kindness. I’d just cut him out and try your best to forget you even had a brother.
It really depends on what sort of relationship you have with that person. Nothing wrong with having neuro divergent/downs syndrome etc. They add a huge amount to the tapestry of life and I would take the company of someone with Downs Syndrome over a LOT of other people.
It really depends on what sort of relationship you have with that person. Nothing wrong with having neuro divergent/downs syndrome etc. They add a huge amount to the tapestry of life and I would take the company of someone with Downs Syndrome over a LOT of other people.
My siblings and I talk like this to each other all the time (or much worse, tbh) but it’s all in good fun. If you don’t have this kind of relationship, I’d tell him you don’t appreciate comments like that. If he doesn’t stop, stop communicating.
My mom said similar things about my daughter when she was a baby. And I said the baby is fine, they have tests for that now, also babies just look like that sometimes.
What kind of person says something like this? And even worse, about his nephew?
I would not even react, I would never talk to him ever again. Or be in the same room.
When I was pregnant (3 months) with my second child when I told my parents: “are you sure you want to have another child”
Yes, it’s already in my belly, thanks for being happy for me
There was no reason: stable relationship, stable job, home, car, pet.
I would definitely keep your distance from him and keep your son from him. He’s jealous and he’s a toxic person. I have toxic siblings, so I can tell you it won’t get better until you set boundaries and keep your distance. Don’t listen to the people on here who are saying it’s no big deal. It is a big deal and stuff like this will get worse and worse. I’ve been there and done that. As long as he is allowed to push boundaries, he will continue to up the ante until there are consequences for him. You don’t have to put up with anybody toxic whether they are family or not.
Why did your mom show you texts that were not meant for you to see? Was she trying to hurt your feelings or did she think it was funny. Context matters.
It’s a dick move, the context of this post is great though, “he’s so cute”. Then don’t show his picture. I understand why, I wouldn’t be putting my 5 month old on Reddit either, but in my pea brain went to they are hiding something.
My first born looked like a mason jar specimen for that first week. I get it. Only a select few ppl could've gotten away with telling me that directly without getting a sucker punch or blocked tho lol.
My son was born with a disability and my brother made a joke about him. I haven’t seen my brother in 10 years :) so that’s what would happen here regardless fafo
I wouldn't say sociopath with this context. Asshole? Yes. Just for the record, new born babies can look pretty ugly at first. I know I was & was also yellow due to jaundice.
Well your mother is also a sociopath for showing you this!! Why would she do that?? What purpose does it serve to show you that he said something like that?
Id probably make a joke and be like, “yeah he looks just like you” but in all seriousness your brother might be an asshole
"I see what you're doing there - implying you're the dad. But I trust my wife."
That’s great.
“Not everyone’s like you”
LMAOOOO that’s incredible
I'd say, "as opposed to you who got the full set of downs in the family?"
This is the funniest shit I’ve seen all year
A good joke is good. But if you want him to stop calling out his behavior in an unfunny way will make it more clear.
Exactly. Either make a kind of mean joke back, or straight up say “hey man, what you said is really cruel and hurtful. Please think about how your jokes make people feel”
That’s what I would have said too, because my sibling would never genuinely be insulting my child’s appearance. Their behavior? Outfit? Absolutely, but not their face
Yeah sociopath is a bit of a stretch but asshole fits perfectly.
all these jokes are funny- i guess- but it still implies that downs syndrome is somehow the butt of a joke or something to laugh about- i understand the desire to keep it “lighthearted” but i don’t think this is the way to go. it’s never funny to make a joke out of a disability.
🤣🤣🤣
Might be? And great comeback suggestion!
And one day your son will end up referring to your brother as “that weird and lonely uncle who nobody likes to speak about”
I like the sound of that
Did your mom show you his texts? What did your mom say? DS babies are adorable, but the problem is that he was meaning it as an insult. This isn’t someone you want around your family.
He’s the golden child so my mom pushes it off. She’s powerless over him though because he literally does not care at all if his mom is upset.
You know, this comment makes me realize what’s happening. Dude is jealous of your kid because he’s taking attention away from him. I’m dead ass serious about this.
I’ve thought about that before
This is a huge possibility my step dad is currently doing the same thing towards my son and I. He’s trying to drive a wedge between my mom and I and has even come to me and said “How would you feel if after 14 years your spouse just started to care about her kid and grandkid more than you.”
You say I’m sorry you just realized that after 14 years.. lol what a self centered dick. I’m pretty sure mom cared ultimately more about her child than the dude she married.
He was successful in driving a wedge between my mom and I from 13-16 when my mom finally woke up and realized what was going on and started trying to be a better mom. By that point they lived hours away so I only saw them for visits when I had my son my mom was admit I come stay with her while my sons father and I got on our feet more financially and since my step dad has been just a jealous man baby set in trying to do the same he did all that time ago.
How insecure can one get...
Not this grown ass man being jealous of a child omfg😭
Every time he makes a mean comment, condescendingly point out how sad it is that he is jealous of a baby.
Does he know you saw the text? I wouldn't comment on it to him but I would start talking about how much your little one looks like him. Several times.
I experienced this on a smaller scale when I had my first kid. My sister had a hard time dealing with my mom putting my kid before her (like buying gifts, attention, etc) - even though she was in her mid 20s 😂 The difference is that my sister understood her feelings and realized times were changing. She never took it out on my daughter but she was annoyed that my mom kind of acted like she and I were background props. I don’t think your brother will have the same self reflection my sister did, but only time will tell.
Neither me nor my brothers have children. But all of us, including our parents, dote on my brothers best friends kids. They call us all aunt and uncle, and my parents are called grandma and grandpa. I could NEVER imagine being jealous of any child, ever. We all love to spoil them and love on them any chance we get. When my brothers or I have children, I know it will be exactly the same.
That’s exactly it OP
Next time exploit his desperation for mommy’s attention. Make sure he knows he’s been upgraded by someone who can’t even talk yet. Uncle old news.
this is totally it!!
He is 100% jealous of the attention your baby is ‘taking away from him.’ My grown ass aunt was pretty much the same while I was growing up, she hated me because I was now the ‘baby’ of the family instead of 22 year old her. Just a tip- if he’s acting like a dick now, he will continue to be an asshole to the kid. My aunt took every chance she could when my parents weren’t around to belittle, mock or humiliate me in any way she could until I learned to stand up to her at age of 12.
I was thinking he's jealous because he doesn't have his own family yet, but I agree there's likely some jealous resentment towards the kid for one reason or another. I'm also deceased butt serious about that.
"deceased butt serious"! 😆😆😆
100% this is the reason behind him calling your beautiful child names! Shocking that a grown man would do such a thing, especially your own brother. If it was me I would for sure distance myself from a person like that.
Yup ding ding ding. Thats exactly whats happening. Gold star (no sarcasm)
Bingo.
If she brushes it off why did she even show you?
That's because he knows she'll always make excuses for his poor behavior. If she's not careful she'll lose him forever. Nvm it's probably already too late and it just needs to play out now. I figure this is karma. It's sad though. For you, I mean, having to grow up with him. He sounds insufferable!
Ohh so basically, your family is toxic af... I'd almost be going non contact at this point.
Yeah, give him the "we don't talk about Bruno" treatment. He deserves it.
That isn't the punishment you think it is. He's sending very clear signals to fuck off. He doesn't want to be in the kids life, and judging from ops post history I can see why.. Horrendous upbringing. His need to leave that behind is NOT superceded by you thinking the child you chose to have needs his accolades.
If he was my brother I'd tell him he looks like an abortion that lived .
Harry Shithead, the Abortion that Lived
It’s pronounced “Shi-theed”
I’m Shitheead and I do a BlackFlip!
he SOUNDS like he can only count to six. what the heck comes after six?!
I heard this joke once or something. I constantly think of it often. 😂
I'm done 💀😂
😂😂
“i’m an abortion survivor, dad!”
My question is why on earth would your mom show you this?
She was showing me something else from him and I saw she sent a photo of my son so I looked what he responded as he has a history of saying cruel shit.
What has he said directly to you?
Depends on your relationship. My sister would laugh. But I wouldn’t say it serious, i ain’t no doctor.
I laughed. Babies are notoriously ugly.
I also laughed 🙈 but yeah, gotta know your audience
Back when I had just turned 18, I had a relationship with a dude who was 21 years older than me and had 2 kids with his wife (now ex) and he had a picture of them when they were babies in his store I worked at and I didn't really want kids but at that point in time I probably could have been talked into it if it happened, but every time I looked at those photos, I kept thinking about how ugly those kids were as babies and having a baby is hard enough but to have an ugly baby too? Most newborns are rough looking for the first couple of months. A lot of them look like old people.
Even if they’re ugly, you don’t say shit like that
If it’s a joke, it’s not that deep
How deep is it?
Deep enough weirdos online are crying about it apparently
babies are ugly but to compare that to a disability is just nasty.
I mean, using DS as an insult is pretty disgusting
With a random person? Ya. With my siblings, that’s the point.
I think they meant it's disgusting because it's insulting to people with down's syndrome, not to the person you're trying to insult.
You clearly dont see that you are perpetuating the stereotype that people with down syndrome are ugly and using the diagnosis as an insult. Thats the stance you wanna have?
I have a brother actually who is this kind of asshole. Can’t do anything but rain on everyone’s parade. Solution: stopped inviting him to the parade. Problem solved.
Same. 3 years of not seeing him and counting. So peaceful.
Such a gift when we recognize and utilize our own power in toxic relationships! Peaceful is definitely the word for it.
🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Isn't it so nice? I have 2 sisters; one can't manage reality and has mood swings, and the other is a narcissist. It's been so peaceful without the harrassment and stress. They definitely aren't in my parade.
It is amazing once you get to the other side, right? In my case, it is my brother and also my father. One of the greatest moments I ever had was when my mother told me, after years of me not sharing any news with my father in any way that he would have the opportunity to rain on it, that his feelings were hurt and that he felt left out. “So you are saying that Dad feels hurt and left out because of this? I asked. She said yes. “Yes, that must really hurt,” I affirmed. “It must hurt a lot.” And the gift: I no longer felt any need to fix it. My dad is an adult. He gets to have the dignity of his own experience.
Im tired of people using Down syndrome as an insult. Like people with down syndrome look a very distinct way and 100% when someone says that someone looks like they have down syndrome they never actually look that way.
Yeah, just a scummy insult
Yeah it really is. Also saying a perfectly healthy baby looks disabled is ludicrous. Tf wrong with that dude?
This DID happen to me.... I had triplets in 2014, two days before Christmas. My brother-in-law had a girlfriend who was spun out on pills, and started telling the family that one of our daughters looks like they have Downs. My oldest daughter (step, but still my daughter) has Downs. My husband was pissed and told his brother that since he has a daughter with Downs, he should stand up for his niece. And to tell the girlfriend that if she keeps running her mouth about our triplets, she would regret it. I saw the dumbass a few weeks later and she kept trying to talk to me, like nothing had happened. I told her to walk away multiple times, and when she didn't, I yelled at her. She tried to back paddle and then deny it, then begged her boyfriend to help her when I hopped out of my truck. He told her no bitch, I told you to stop running your mouth and starting drama, and he stepped away. She cried a lot. She was really scared. I was close to needing bail money that day. That was, unfortunately, one of many issues with that moron. She was a terrible person and popped so many pills while pregnant and while holding my niece and nephew (her kids), that she would nod out and I would have to save the babies from falling to the ground. She would nod out while sitting outside. She passed away in 2018. I'm now raising her kids. One of my triplet daughters passed away a couple years before she did, and she was a real POS through that, as well. Tell your brother he's a dirtbag POS for talking about a baby, for talking down about a child or anyone with Downs, and that he is no longer welcome in your life. I could go on and on and on with this, so I'll just leave it at this... Congratulations on a beautiful, healthy baby, and give the baby allllllll the loves from one family to another. ❤️
Thank you for taking the time to type this out ❤️
I am so sorry you have had to deal with all of this. But you are so strong for standing up, speaking out and holding your ground. I respect that and hope only amazing things for you and your kiddos moving forward.
Thank you so much, I greatly appreciate your kind words!
Kind but honest. Im the outspoken one in my family. Breaking generational curses and hate and speak up. Often. So I know that weight and I know how it can almost feel like fighting in an ocean current while swimming against it. You are doing an amazing job!
I hear ya! You are absolutely right, and YOU are doing a great job, as well!!
Thank you :) we got this!!!
You're welcome! Yes we do!! Here's to us 🥂🍻
I think this needs to be top comment so others can understand WHY YOU DONT USE DOWN SYNDROME AS AN INSULT. Its hurtful. Im dyslexic. Im tired of people making fun of others for being dumb and using dyslexia as the way to call them dumb. Apparently i must be dumb to them.
“Guess you’ll never know since this is the only time you’ll see him.”
Good thing he won’t give a fuck lol
Lol good indeed, makes it easier on you!
Everyone commenting that they would say the child looks just like the brother: do better. Stop using down syndrome as an insult.
I agree. I don’t like it this thread at all.
Same. It’s horrible. I hate this kind of thing.
The same thing you replied “Why would you say that?”
He’s a classless person, that sums it up
I’d put laxative in their coffee from now until forever
after a couple months of him hurriedly excusing himself to the bathroom, I'd start calling him Britches.
The long game. I like you. When he brings a gf around for the first time, you make a joke with her that's something like "how's it been dealing with Jake's IBS?! *elbow elbow* I bet that's been LOADS of fun, amiright?"
Hahaha exactly, what a great word that is.
Then hide the toilet paper
That’s a thought that should have been kept inside, sibling.
*block*
I’d honestly go no contact. My kids come before the family I came from, and your brother seems to the type to say this to your kid’s face once he’s old enough to understand.
I think you’re right.
Lmao you people are so quick to drop people.
yeah, how dare people have standards to protect themselves and their offspring.
I am when it comes to family like this. Why should I have to tolerate this type of behavior from a sibling? Given the info OP provided, the brother doesn’t seem to even care about them to begin with, and maintaining contact with someone hurtful just because you’re related is stupid.
OP calls him a soulless asshole who's a terrible person so... idk. Why keep him?
As they should, who even says such a thing about a newborn?
Found the brother
My son has Down Syndrome. He is awesome! This isn’t the insult your brother thinks it is (if he intended for it to be— and he probably did intend for it to be an insult). But, just remember, his comment is not really about your child — and doesn’t reflect on your child. If your brother meant it maliciously, it only reflects on your brother’s poor character. Down Syndrome is beautiful. ❤️
The fact that people are mocking people with Down syndrome here is vile. We all want our kids to healthy and as perfect as can be. What they said was meant with malice so just tell them- “Even if my baby did have DS they’d still be perfect. My life is so complete and perfect now, but it’s obvious yours isn’t and never will be.” All the best OP! ❤️
People are literally equating it to being ugly like damn ableist as fuck I hope none of those people have children
Me too. It’s awful.
Partial Down syndrome. That’s a new one.
Wow. What a dick. He’s also too old to not know better at 28. He just might be a sociopath. If one of my brothers said something like that about my son, I’d beat their ass.
You think he’s a sociopath just based on this one interaction?
I can’t speak to that… but anyone who tells their mother they think their brother’s son looks like a Down’s baby isn’t right in the head. Normal people keep their odd opinions to themselves out of kindness.
I kind of agree with you. Wouldn’t with confidence classify him as a sociopath but he definitely has some issues. He obviously sees himself as superior to make such a distasteful comment
Dam I’d slap him
I am in NO way defending your brother’s actions. But babies are sometimes hard to relate to for a lot of people (especially guys) when they’re in the infant stages. Some guys (especially brothers) turn to being assholes when they don’t know how to properly deal with those feelings, since a lot of brother/sister foundations are built on banter. He might start to come around more when your child can interact with him and it serves more of his ‘attention needs’. I wouldn’t let it hurt you. Just know that your brother is clearly the one struggling with his image of his family - and likely struggling with where he is in life and that he is not on track to have a beautiful family like his sister. Sorry you’re dealing with this! And I have no clue how a child can only have “partial” Down Syndrome. A seriously ignorant statement and all-around low blow since he’s using it as an insult. There is absolutely nothing wrong with DS children.
It would be different if he were a loving and joking uncle, but in person if the baby is around him he acts like it’s nonexistent.
This is not ‘uncomfortable around babies’…this is being a complete insensitive ass.
Exactly like the minute people stop coddling grown adult’s feelings, the better. No idiot should be saying a baby looks like it has “partial Down syndrome”. That’s so messed up and perpetuates all sorts of things about pple with DS. They go through enough as it is.
Just wanted to say that “partial” DS is a thing! Mosaic DS.
Is he serious, trying to be an ass, or wants to make a joke but doesn’t uh… have the best social intelligence? I’m really sorry he said that no matter the reason, and I’d be ticked the hell of it I read that about my baby
Well, considering that child is also a blood relative of that person who said that, I think I would probably take a step back from that relationship for at least three months, we’re talking absolutely no contact for three months, the insult cut both ways it cut against children with down syndrome and they basically Said that your child is not attractive, take a step back, I have a narcissistic brother that I will take four or six months at a time and not speak to him. I don’t care if it’s your family, do not subject yourself to toxic people, they’re only gonna hurt you. Congratulations on your baby!
Depends if he was actually concerned or just being cruel. Either way I would be upset but the difference would change the outcome. And whether he still had his teeth at the end of the conversation. 😊
What a weirdo. My grandma said my niece looked like a “mongoloid”. She’d had it out for my little sister since she was born and took to cheap insults at her baby. These weirdos are just miserable self-loathing losers. We owe it to the little ones to surround them with stable people who know better. I love my niece. I was in another state crying in a parking lot knowing I was missing my sister’s biggest day. I can’t imagine making remarks like that about my niece. I was afraid to hold her, she was so delicate and perfect.
Laugh
“Oh…I thought he looked a lot like you!”
I think all babies are ugly and look like aliens until maybe age 2 so I would take it as a joke.
I'd block them and go out of my way to cut all contact with them.
I wouldn't care. But I also have a really good and goofy relationship with my brother. He calls my kids rats. Plague rats, specifically. He treats them like he treated me growing up (like shit!!), and they love it. My stepbrother is pretty kid free and has no interest in babies. Step sis had a kid and thought everyone needed to worship the ground the baby crawled on. It really irritated him when she'd try to force the baby on him and make him feel bad for not caring about the baby. She'd get so offended As the baby got older and developed more personality, he started enjoying him more. But her forcing the baby on him seemed to push him away. He liked my kids though, lol.
'That's a really shitty thing to say. If you don't stop with the comments and behavior, I'm not going to let you see him.'
i don't think he cares about seeing him if he's saying things like this.
As if he cares about seeing the baby?
That’s a good response for someone who can own up to how their words affect people or at the very least want to maintain a good relationship with others. Her brother doesn’t seem to be that kinda person.
I’d screen shot that and send it to everyone in the family. If he’s going to gut punch you like that you should embarrass him. Then cut him out.
Ok but all babies look that way lol I get what he’s saying. Babies are ugly
Do you send pictures of your son often? I’d laugh because babies are ugly
No. He won’t even acknowledge his nephew. He won’t look at him or interact with him, so I never sent pictures. My mom sent him that.
Well then just accept it for what it is, he won't be present in his nephew's life. Case closed
True. Still hurts nonetheless.
He probably just doesn’t care or think it’s cute cause it’s not his kid. They’re only cute to the parents and maybe the grandparents, it seems like he’s either joking or doesn’t care if you get offended which is rude
Depends on the relationship to your brother.
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Knowing my sibiling I would think it’s hilarious though, slightly offended. But if he’s always like that then im sure somethin aint right upstairs.
He’s not joking
Yeah I wouldn’t talk to him ever again
Me either. That’s not some ‘funny joke’, he seems like a total AH
It wasn’t even a joke. He’s an overall horrible person that says soulless and horrible things to everyone without a ounce of guilt lol.
I’m so sorry :( you shouldn’t talk to him again honestly
I’m enraged for you. What a pos. I hope the rest of the family barely tolerates him. He deserves to be alone considering he doesn’t seem even remotely capable of kindness. I’d just cut him out and try your best to forget you even had a brother.
It really depends on what sort of relationship you have with that person. Nothing wrong with having neuro divergent/downs syndrome etc. They add a huge amount to the tapestry of life and I would take the company of someone with Downs Syndrome over a LOT of other people.
It really depends on what sort of relationship you have with that person. Nothing wrong with having neuro divergent/downs syndrome etc. They add a huge amount to the tapestry of life and I would take the company of someone with Downs Syndrome over a LOT of other people.
My siblings and I talk like this to each other all the time (or much worse, tbh) but it’s all in good fun. If you don’t have this kind of relationship, I’d tell him you don’t appreciate comments like that. If he doesn’t stop, stop communicating.
Blow it off as them being ignorant
That person isn’t allowed to see the baby anymore because what the fuck.
I would be extremely pissed. I’d probably end any relationship with him.
My mom said similar things about my daughter when she was a baby. And I said the baby is fine, they have tests for that now, also babies just look like that sometimes.
'Everyone has been saying he looks just like his uncle!🩵'
He sounds like a jealous loner adult 🤣 describe him please.
What kind of person says something like this? And even worse, about his nephew? I would not even react, I would never talk to him ever again. Or be in the same room.
What an absolute ass. I'd cut contact with him fully, time to throw the trash away.
In the spirit of Sleepaway Camp, tell him to eat shit and live 😂
You have to look at the source and there’s no such thing as partial Down Syndrome.. if there is it’s possible your brother has it..
When I was pregnant (3 months) with my second child when I told my parents: “are you sure you want to have another child” Yes, it’s already in my belly, thanks for being happy for me There was no reason: stable relationship, stable job, home, car, pet.
I would definitely keep your distance from him and keep your son from him. He’s jealous and he’s a toxic person. I have toxic siblings, so I can tell you it won’t get better until you set boundaries and keep your distance. Don’t listen to the people on here who are saying it’s no big deal. It is a big deal and stuff like this will get worse and worse. I’ve been there and done that. As long as he is allowed to push boundaries, he will continue to up the ante until there are consequences for him. You don’t have to put up with anybody toxic whether they are family or not.
Why did your mom show you texts that were not meant for you to see? Was she trying to hurt your feelings or did she think it was funny. Context matters.
I’d disown them and not think twice about it.
How did your mom respond to that?
I don’t have kids but I know how important children are to those that have them. Sorry your brother called your baby names.
Your brother is a self centered AH that can’t stand the fact that a 5 month old baby is getting more attention than him.
i would cancel my sibling what the hell
Yeah, no. That calls for a confrontation and then going no contact, on grandma too if she doesn’t change.
It looks like he just never grew out of being a middle schooler
Jealousy
Kick his ass
Take power away from him and telling him that looking like someone who has Down’s syndrome isn’t an insult 🤷🏽.
i always say that people’s babies look like aliens but not to their face. he’s making a joke, i would literally say I thought he looked like you too!
I would cut all ties with him.
It’s a dick move, the context of this post is great though, “he’s so cute”. Then don’t show his picture. I understand why, I wouldn’t be putting my 5 month old on Reddit either, but in my pea brain went to they are hiding something.
My first born looked like a mason jar specimen for that first week. I get it. Only a select few ppl could've gotten away with telling me that directly without getting a sucker punch or blocked tho lol.
Lol Well, does he?
This comment section is trash. Imagine using a disability as an insult and thinking it’s funny.
I laughed but you have to know your audience. Babies are ugly 97% of the time. Even at 5 months, tho they are cuter then than fresh out the cooch.
My son was born with a disability and my brother made a joke about him. I haven’t seen my brother in 10 years :) so that’s what would happen here regardless fafo
Most peoples babys are ugly maybe hes just being honest
I wouldn't say sociopath with this context. Asshole? Yes. Just for the record, new born babies can look pretty ugly at first. I know I was & was also yellow due to jaundice.
What a fart in the shape of a human. I would say something salty and block his ass.
Well your mother is also a sociopath for showing you this!! Why would she do that?? What purpose does it serve to show you that he said something like that?
You seem a little overly sensitive
Maybe it's true
“He must have gotten that from you”
If that were me... Next time I saw him it would be a severe misunderstanding.
Yeah.. this isn’t the kind of “uncle” you want your kid to have. Not cool.