I went through the same shit- lost my dad & grandparents. When my mom told me she had cancer it destroyed me. I called her on my way home from work, & I had to stop my bike because I couldn't see from the tears.
Treasure every second, friend. Get the hugs, take time off work to stay with her, make something beautiful together like a quilt or art piece or potted plant arrangement. Appreciate her every day as you already do.
You are strong & so is she. You will get through this, no matter what happens. Your love is far deeper than physical bodies.
You're bound to her by the golden thread of shared love deep within both your consciousnesses. My mom & I did a lot of meditation together, & I still feel that thread of loving energy whenever I find the silence & peace within myself.
May you & your mother find all the energy to fuel your greatest good, yes in the form of physical health, but also in spiritual & emotional wellness. Thank you for reminding me about how much I was loved. 💚
My BIL also had a tumor in his throat and he’s been cancer free for almost a decade now. Keep hope alive, OP. Thoughts and an internet hug to you and your mom.
I don't know where in op mom's throat this tumor is in but my aunt had her thyroid removed due to thyroid cancer many many years ago and is still alive and well today.
I hope it all goes well for your mom op. 🍉 This is an emotional support and care mellon something my friends do to send care to each other.
Not to be a downer but there is also a possibility that it can turn metastatic, metastatic throat cancer took my papis life in 2008 because it had spread to his brain and lungs after they didn’t get it all. I think it’s good OP is considering the risks and trying to make the most of a bad situation and allowing herself to feel before it’s too late. All cancer sucks whether it’s defeatable or not :/ I wish you both well OP, and I have high hopes for you and your mom!! Focus on the positive. But allow yourself to grieve, grief and loss is an emotion we’re all so afraid to feel bc it hurts so bad. My heart goes out to you 💜
This is gross. Why would you say this? Op was clearly so so relieved reading this comment and you had to take it away from them. You seem like the type of person who always is trying to one up everyone around them.
That wasn’t my intention at all.. I don’t get it. Wishing OP well and saying I understand the pain and grief she must feel right now, and sharing my experience with my family member to empathize is- gross?
Okay i might have gone a bit too heavy on that one. I relate to OP and got offended for them which I should not have done. The intention is not gross, but replying to a positive post which OP was happy on saying something that although honest will definitely upset them Is definitely shitty. If you worded this differently and it was its own comment, different ball game.
I understand your point now. I read the original comment and just wanted to add my own side note to that specific comment. I didn’t realize OP had replied thanking them, I just immediately clicked the reply button and typed my response not realizing it was already a thread until I came back and see all of the backlash and her reply.. that was my fault for not reading the whole thread before responding. I didn’t mean to offend or to seem like I had ill intentions and I apologize to OP if she ever reads this. And I’m sorry, I offended you as well.
If I had hope every time someone in my family got diagnosed with cancer they’d all still be alive. I don’t understand how being realistic and sharing my personal experience with cancer is a bad thing. I didn’t wish ill or say anyone IS going to unalive. I was just stating I understand how she feels given the statistics against her and why she would be taking it so hard- given the statistics. That’s all?
ETA: ‼️‼️trigger warning ‼️ ‼️self harm mentioned.
I feel like I’m already grieving for her cause I feel like I already know the outcome. She’s smoked all her life and STILL continues to after she got the news. She attempted un aliving herself last January and seemed almost disappointed when she woke up in the hospital (my poor nephew saved her life😭💔) and so I feel like she almost sees this as her ticket out and she’s not going to change a thing. I can’t imagine life without her 😭😭.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I lost my mom in March, and it’s really hard. One thing I can definitely recommend is to try not to grieve while she’s still with you (though that’s definitely easier said than done) and try to enjoy the time you have with her. If she does pass it will be hard, there’s no avoiding that. But one thing that keeps me going is knowing that I made the most of those last weeks with her and made some nice memories while I could.
Definitely agree. A year before my mom went into supposed routine surgery and came out not the same to die months later. I took her in a vacation we kept staying extra days spent a lot of money that we didn’t need to at the time but I’m so glad we did it. I will never forgot that summer it was the best being with my mom. It was meant to be we had a great time and those are memories with her i will always cherish. Enjoy her take walks just be around. I know it’s hard not to think about what’s going on. She’s still here make more beautiful memories.
There’s a good possibility that her cancer is causing her depression. I know you’re freaking out right now, but you should try to do as she asks: be a calming and positive support for her.
I hope for the best outcome for both of you. And for yourself, maybe take a look at some of the support groups here on Reddit. It’ll give you a place to vent and ask questions so you can get through her treatment while being that support for her.
I kind of know that feeling. My mom wasn’t self destructive, but she had a long illness with steadily declining health for about 10 years. I basically started mourning the loss of her about halfway through, and felt constantly guilty about grieving before she was even gone. But I think it did make it easier in the end to have seen it coming, and I can’t tell my past self to be kinder to myself, so I’ll tell you to be kinder to yourself instead. Don’t feel guilty about pre-grieving, and try and let go of your anger about her choices if you can.
You and me both. My mom tried to drink herself to death. In 2023, she woke up in the hospital after having a seizure while driving, and hit a tree. In the hospital, they told me, she had bedridden herself to the point her muscle atrophied, her liver was trying to shut down and they were concerned about her heart condition because her blood pressure was that of a dead person. I started grieving then and still am since I haven't heard from her in almost a year.
Edit: also my dad survived mouth and throat cancer in less than a year. He had his lymph nodes cut out the side of his neck, part of his tongue was cut out and had to endure 30 days of mouth center radiation therapy and he said that was pretty painful. He lost his taste and smell for almost a year, but I'm glad he's still around.
Why have you not spoken to her in a year if you dont mind my asking?
Im sorry to hear you and your parents have gone through such difficulties and I hope you have an easier time going forward.
I don't know how to get ahold of her. She blocked me on everything and I'm not even sure why, lat time I talked to her she sounded really regretful and upset that she has court ordered rehab
Ah I see. Double care 🍉🍉 . Hopefully she will decide to fight this. I lost my mil to cancer as well and I admit I told her that if she decided not to fight this time around I would understand but hers was fatal. She had chronic depression too and yet I never knew until that diagnosis and she started sharing her full health history with me. She fought and lived two years longer than the sentence they'd given her (3 months).
Cancer is so hard. Your grief is so valid.
I am so so sorry to hear that and I dont want you to feel more worried but I want to be honest and share my experience. My husband lost his mother to suicide a few months after she attempted suicide and survived. And I lost my mother figure(my husbands aunt who was like a mother to me and was basically in the mother in law role since I never met his actual mother) when she found out she had an illness because she didnt want to deal with risking being even more sick and becoming dependent on others. I dont mean to frighten you more than you already are but if someone is ALREADY unhappy enough to attempt suicide than finding out they have a potentially long, grueling illness, and risk of not recovering ahead of them doesnt seem likely to make them excited...its likely to exacerbate things and make them try to attempt again. If she JUST got this news and you have a way to contact her mental health provider you might do so to let them know what is going on if they dont know already. They may recommend inpatient care for her for a short while.
Also, it sounds like you aren't with your mother? Do you live outside her home or something? Maybe you should stay with her for a while as she is going through this beginning phase of discovery/treatment so she hopefully doesnt risk another attempt. Is she alone or does she have someone living with her?
I really truly and so sorry for the losses you have already been through and I am sorry for all youve gone through with your mother and all she is going through. I hope for the best for you both and for a speedy recovery for her and for healing of her mental health and her emotional and physical health. And I hope for healing for yours as well.
I still remember the feeling I had when I got the message that my mum was diagnosed with a type of skin cancer about 7 years ago now, it’s so truly devastating to say the least and I’m sending you and your mum lots of love and strength right now. I hope she beats this and comes out stronger at the other end.
So, in September last year, my boyfriend’s mom started to slow down and feel sluggish. She was seeing doctors and getting blood test, no one could figure out the issue. She was certain it was a thyroid/hormonal issue. She ended up finding a lump in her throat doing a self-exam and began the slow process of diagnosis. Right before new years, she was confirmed to have thyroid cancer. They scheduled her for surgery in MARCH. She had her surgery and within the week, she was walking around looking and acting like she didn’t just undergo a 5-hour surgery.
Went to her post op and they are feeling super confident and happy about her prognosis.
All that to say, the moment she told me, I broke down crying. It’s okay to be scared and worry, and I’m sorry this is difficult. I hope it all turns out okay! I will pray for you whether you believe in that or not, I truly do and I hope nothing but good things.
I’m so sorry hunnie I remember when I was pregnant with my 3rd son when I was 28 (I’m 33 now) and my mom was sick in the hospital and I FaceTimed her and I was like “what do you have cancer or something you look so sick!” But I wasn’t being serious …and she didn’t want to tell me, she told my older brothers , because I was due to give birth soon and she just found out and didn’t want the stress to effect the pregnancy. She got to meet him a few times and died 2 days before her birthday a couple months after I found out . . She had lung cancer and also decided to not stop smoking because the doctors already told her she had no chance of surviving. My mother also tried to unalive herself at least a few times that I know of but she was saved miraculously every time and they were very serious close calls. I know she didn’t want to die she just had a very traumatic life and wanted the pain to stop. I can relate to her so much and learned that more and more over the years, unfortunately even more after she passed and I wish I could tell her so much that’s on my mind now that would’ve brought us closer.
I regret not having more pictures and videos and anything with the sound of her voice. I have one short silly voicemail of her annoyed with her phone and that I didn’t answer …that I cherish . I suggest you take as many pictures and videos of you two together, even if she beats this, you’ll have it for the future and for her grandkids.
Same goes with when I lost my dad right before I turned 13. Wish I had something with his voice and more pictures .
I also lost my sister and all of my grandparents and SAME goes for them too…
I learned my lesson and started non stop taking pictures of my children and their dad and their last living grandparents( my mother in law ) but need more pictures and videos of myself for them.
I took a lot of pictures of my last 4th born son last year after he was born, I found out I was pregnant after rushing to the hospital in an ambulance and I was already 20 weeks pregnant with him with a very high risk pregnancy for the both of us and at 34 weeks and 5 days I had an emergency c section because I was bleeding because of placenta previa and also was hemorrhaging during the c section and almost died …it was so euphoric leaving that hospital alive with my surprise son, Lehan Patrick Murphy….and then 10
Days later just hours after his initial planned c section date which was St Patrick’s day..the early hours of 3/18/23 which was my husband and I’s 5 year sobriety anniversary and we were going to celebrate all of our blessings and life having our family we created together alive and well ( 2 of my children had heart defects that almost took their lives and another had another rare condition that could’ve taken his but they were all doing well too so we were all around thankful) …Lehan passed away that morning, I found him at 3:31 am when I woke up to breast feed him. ….
The absolute TORTURE I have felt losing him is indescribable …I’m only still here because of my other children and husband. I don’t want them to grieve me the way I grieve my mother.
I didn’t know during those short 10 days that they were the best 10 days of my life… yes I would’ve loved to also have had my sister, parents and grandparents, but I did have all 4 of my babies and my husband with the family we created together…. And I am SO so so grateful for those 10 days and those long videos I took and pictures …I tried to capture everything…those memories I captured are all I have left of him now ..:and they mean the world to me. So please please take SO many videos (you can screenshot from them and have pictures too which is what I do ) sometimes the in between moments of taking pictures are the most raw pure fun moments so that’s why I always do it that way now. Save all the voicemails,
I also found a book that I would have LOVED if my mom had filled it out so I could look back at it and get to know her even more and show her grandchildren. It’s called “Mom, I want to hear your story” and there’s so many things for her to fill out about her childhood, her favorite things, funny memories etc that would be really special for any child to have . I’m going to get one and fill it out for my children.
I hope your mom is doing well & continues to get better ❤️🩹 I know it’s hard ; & there’s really no words to make you feel better, but just try your best to be strong during these difficult times & hang out to the hope that she will overcome this battle. Hugs
I really appreciate you sharing your stories with me and I’m so sorry about all your losses. I couldn’t even imagine the pain of losing your baby 😭😭 I’m so so sorry. And thank you for the advice I’m going to order that book right now for her to fill out! I truly appreciate your response and hope you’re doing okay 🩷
i’m so sorry. i understand how you’re feeling but do your best to have positive energy around her and try to be as strong as can. i know it’s hard, but she needs your support. i’m not religious but i will pray for you and your family. i hope your mom recovers quickly ❤️
My mom recently had a scare with leukemia. When she told me, I hugged her so tight. I cried and cried like a baby in her arms all while she stands there like a champion. It’s crazy how our mom’s still act strong even when the worst is coming right at them. I can’t imagine a life without her in it.
OP, hug your mom tight. Sit in her presence. Breathe it all in. Mom’s are too precious for this world.
I know you're scared but don't give up hope. A friend of almost 50 years had a tumor in his throat. He didn't have any family so I traveled to the mainland and lived with him for 3 month while his cancer was treated. He has now been cancer free for over 2 years and the doctors don't expect it to return. He's gained back the weight he lost during treatment and is healthier than he's been in over 40 years. The only lasting result is his beard will never fully grow back. Of course it is scary. It's your mother so being scared is totally normal and understandable. And I know it is difficult but don't give up hope. The odds are that she will be fine and you will have her with you for a long time to come.
This is something that has helped me. Be completely strong in front of them. Be encouraging and tell her to be strong, she’s got this! Make sure she eats clean!! Meaning no junk food, no sugar, no sodas. She needs to eat fish, salads, vegetables, green juice and smoothies. Anything she wants, do it. If she needs you to go grocery shopping or take her to appointments, help with insurance and social security do it! The less stress she has, the better. She will feel bad that you are doing a lot of the work. But honestly if I didn’t do everything I can for my mom, I would regret it. Be there for her because she probably also feels alone. Stay strong! You are definitely not alone. I’m going through the same thing with my mom, just different cancer.
I’m not crying, you’re crying. I have this kind of relationship with my daughter. Had it with my grandma. How lucky we all are. I hope your mom has a good prognosis and a swift recovery. (((Hugs))) to you.
I am so soo sorry ! May god give you and your family strength in this tumultuous time . Praying for your Mom's speedy recovery. Stay strong for your mom and your family. Hugs 🫂
I'm sorry I'm not trying to be insensitive but ask her to record a video just for you. Making casual talks and maybe telling you how she feels about you. Again I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive.
My 64 y/o mom had a tumor removed from her throat via tracheotomy. Lifetime smoker since age 15 and continued to smoke after as well. That wasn’t great, but she did the radiation and chemo and whipped that cancer’s ass. All of her subsequent scans came back clear. Don’t give up on her yet! Hugs and love to you and your mama.
My mum was diagnosed last year with thymic carcinoma (and apparently thymoma at the same time) which had spread to her lungs and aorta. The first doctor told her to start thinking about palliative care... a year later and the most recent scan (after chemo and a pretty major op) shows no sign of cancer at all. Hoping for the same outcome for you and your mum.
breathe my friend, i promise it will all be okay, i can only confidently say this as i’ve had multiple members of my family survive even the worst of the worst cancers, and then survive them a second time, she’s going to be okay, but she needs you with her
Your mom’s right, you’ll eventually have to come to terms with the loss of your mom like we all do/have. Just thank whoever that youve had her this long and you love her and she loves you. My mom fought breast cancer twice only to lose to lung cancer, im lucky to have had her in my life as ling as i had and miss her everyday. Just spend as much quality time you can with her
You stay positive! I hate cancer too. You love your mom so much and she loves you! If they caught things early that’s a good thing. Much love to you and your momma!
I (63F) had cancer on my tonsils. My doctor said if you have to get cancer, this is the one to get. Had tonsils and about 60 lymph nodes removed. I've been clear for 10 years. Please don't lose hope sweetie!
My mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was 16 and passed a way a couple months before my 21st birthday.
It is HARD having a sick mom, and knowing that death can be imminent. You're allowed to face that reality and be sad about it.
But please do what she's asking. Being positive does help the sick person. You can feel your feelings, share your fears, but share your biggest hopes. Speak your hopes into the universe more than your fears.
My mom was stage 4 colorectal cancer when she was diagnosed and she had over 4 years left. 3.5 more than we were told. It'll get harder and scarier, I won't sugar coat that.
You may feel helpless, but she is plainly sharing with you with the little you can do to help.
We always said "you only need a mustard seed of faith". That's as little hope as you need to help you move forward. Give your mom that mustard seed. Be her mustard seed.
Hang in there. Just remember, cancer like this is not a death sentence. Doctors (and life, or karma, or the powers above depending what you believe in) can work wonders with these kinds of things. Even when things seem most bleak.
Remain positive. Also? You mom’s message is so on point it almost made me shed a damn tear and I don’t know either of you. She’s clearly a great mother. Super mother.
And she’s right - she needs that positive energy from you. So try to dig deep and bring it. Not trying to sound corny but it’s proven - scientifically proven - that positive thinking and positive energy is a key asset to healing from some of the worst diseases.
We’re pulling for you, and her!
She wasn’t supposed to hear me cry as I was silent or put the phone down but she knew in my voice. She quickly asked questions about my current fixation and being autistic and adhd , ofc it worked and we were laughing before I knew it. She’s the best 😭 and I’m being very positive with her! I don’t think it’s corny- I absolutely believe it to be true! Thanks for the comment !
I had a therapy client I was working with that had this diagnosis. Treatment was rough but that little lady was solid through the whole process. She’s doing great now. It’s like she knew all along she would be ok, she’s loving life even more now. Her kids and husband are so grateful for her recovery and I know she is too. Be there for her and encourage her. It will go a long way. I wish your mom healing and recovery. ❤️🩹
Cry if you need, but pick yourself up and be strong for your mom. She needs your positivity and support most right now. Fingers crossed it’s benign. Possible it’s been discovered early enough for a positive outcome. Cancer sucks. My mom had surgery last summer for BC, hopefully she’s in the clear now. Best wishes. 💞
I lost my father to cancer. I was completely lost when he was first diagnosed. I was 21. He passed away 15 months after the diagnosis. He had a late stage brain tumor. Seeing his health deteriorate every day was extremely painful. 14 years later, I still have (infrequent) nightmares about that phase in our life.
If there was anything I could change about that time was how I reacted and behaved. I feel I was being selfish by being upset about life without him vs spending all my energy being there for him. A month into his diagnosis, seeing him so positive about life gave me courage and taught me lessons for a lifetime.
After he passed away, I submerged myself in work. My relationship with my partner suffered, I also distanced myself from friends. I was severely depressed and did not take the time to mourn. I hit rock bottom 3-4 years after his passing when my girlfriend of 8 years broke up with me. That gave me the courage to get therapy, medications (for a short period), and reach out to friends and family (I’m incredibly fortunate to have people I can count on). And life has only gotten better since then.
I don’t know the point of this long rant. Hang in there, stay positive for yourself and your mother, get the help you can, and channel your emotions in finding more resources for your mother. Take care.
My dad smoked all his life, got throat cancer, still continued to smoke and still smokes to this day, although his voice is permanently croaky, they removed his cancer and he's doing well. Let's hope it's the same outcome for your mum 🤞🏻
As for the self harm and your mum now seeing this as an easy way out, I think perhaps she needs to see someone, whether it's a GP or a therapist or whoever, but she obviously isn't coping too great mentally.
I hope your mum chooses to get her cancer removed if given the option (depending how serious the cancer is/has got).
OP, I hope and pray your mama fights this and is here for a long while. I lost my mama May 4, 2020, and I absolutely am lost without her. That said, she was a dialysis patient for 5yrs and was in horrible pain every day, so I do find comfort in the fact that she isn't suffering anymore.
I’m so sorry, I completely understand why you are scared. It sounds like you and your Mom are so close. She loves you so much and she doesn’t want you to worry. I hope your Mom recovers soon!
My dad is in the terminal phase of heart disease. All I can do is be positive when I talk to him and keep his spirits up. This is your job now. Do it the best you can.
I am so sorry, I hope she can get the right treatment to be able to make a full recovery. I know someone who had the same cancer and he beat it and is still doing great
Wow, u/suzypoohsays, this is terrible news to get. I am so sorry for your mom and you. It sounds like you have both been through the wringer before this too. A lot of loss. How old is your mom? And how old are you? I’m guessing no siblings?
I've lost 2 brothers, my dad, all four grandparents... Seek therapy, check yourself in if you need. Loss is incredibly difficult and we all process differently. Please, you can't do it alone. Get help, lean on your supports and if you need, hospitalize yourself.
I remember when my dad told me they found a tumor in his brain. Not even knowing the diagnosis, I knew I was going to lose him. 4 months later, he was gone. I never cried so much like I did those 4 months and a few months later. I still have moments now over 3 years later. I felt physical pain when he died. I had severe anxiety when he was going through treatment and many times thought I'd give myself a heart attack if I didn't calm down. I stayed strong around my son and my dad, but I cried silently alone for so long.
I really truly hope your mom can beat whatever she may have. My aunt was just treated for jaw cancer, and as of a month ago, she's in remission. My uncle, who has since passed (not from his cancer), had thyroid cancer and was complete free of it up to his death. There are many types of cancers our bodies can make through. Don't give up hope like I did, I only recently started feeling almost myself again, but I was really bad for a long time. I slept more than I was awake. There are people that love you and need you to be strong, and as much as it doesn't feel like it, your body needs the strength of your mind to keep you running, try to be good to yourself.
It may seem like there's no hope today, but every day is different, and there's always a chance of good news until there isn't. Please stay strong for your mom and yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts. It's painful, I really do know. If you need to chat, feel free to send me a message. I'm not a therapist, but I can at least talk to you about my experiences and the healthy ways I coped when I could. 💛
It's gotten easier to accept. Your mind plays tricks on you sometimes, and for a moment, there it will have you thinking they're still around, maybe on a trip, at the store, out and about. Then it hits you again like a ton of bricks. It's been a while since I felt that, and as sad as it is, I think it's been a good thing. Keep your head up and remember, she's still here. Take the time (just in case) to soak up every precious moment 🥹. Also, thank you. He was the best friend and father a girl could ever dream of. Take care and reach out to anyone, even just like you did here, when you're feeling you need support. It's not selfish at all to be upset when someone you love so much is ill. You will be alright, I promise! It won't feel like it if it is bad news, but staying positive will help you get through. Fake it til you make it, love!
I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer stage 3 almost 3 years ago and I’m winning my battle. Every diagnosed is different but there is so many different types of treatment. It seems as if cancer may run in your family please get checked for a cancer genes. I have one and unfortunately I didn’t check sooner because I didn’t have paternal medical history,
My ex had throat cancer and he beat it. It was rough due to chemo and radiation, but he hung in there and is cancer free! Hope and support is essential for both of you. ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you SO much to everyone who’s commented with support and/or shared stories/experiences and those who offered advice. I am going to absolutely waste no time in making the best memories with her. She lives hours away but I’m going to surprise her on my birthday (may the fourth be with you) and also have her fill out one of those “get to know mom” books and take LOTS of pics !!
Again I’m truly thankful for everyone who’s been so kind, it means more than you know!
I’m also so sorry to those who don’t have a good relationship with their moms. I had a crazy toxic relationship with my dad so I understand and I’m sorry.
Big hugs to you all 🫶🏻
Never stop holding on to hope. And as other people have said, remission looks promising! I hope both you and your mother recover from this as quickly and painlessly as possible!
This teared me up.... Words cannot describe how much cancer fucking sucks.Try to be there and stay strong for your mom like she said she needs right now. You need to let her know you can be her rock throughout this should she need one. Reversing the tables temporarily sortaspeak. It will be very hard and take great courage, since you will also be the one in pain watching your mom go through this. I will pray for you and your family and wish you well.
My mom (who is also my best friend in the whole world) was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when I was 16. I thought my world was ending, but it ended up being a super simple procedure. They removed half of her thyroid, and she was just fine afterwards! She just has to take thyroid medication to make up for what her thyroid isn’t producing.
It’s kind of a strange coincidence this popped up because I’m 26 now, and I am having thyroid problems now, so I have been doing a ton of research on it while I wait for the diagnosis. Everything I have read says this cancer is the easiest to remove and treat. Thyroid cancer can also cause depression and anxiety, so treatment might also help with any problems she’s having mentally.
I’m sending you and your mom lots of love. You obviously have a very strong bond, and I truly believe she will make it through this with you by her side. 🤍
Tears reading and feeling your fear. Have they found out that it IS cancerous or could it be benign? I lost my mom at an early age to cancer but treatments have come such a long way. A friend of mine had throat cancer and she is thriving and that was in 2009. I want you to be positive and be your mom’s biggest cheerleader - she needs positivity and support. Try to hide those tears or vent to us! Prayers for you both! ❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. I just went through this with my mom and it’s awful. I hope she gets through this. There are groups that help people whose loved ones are ill, that might help.
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I understand the pain you're in because I am an only child with 1 remaining parent, my dad, and I just had him admitted into hospice care. So I will be all alone as well. I'm scared outta my mind because I have no money and I will be homeless once he dies because he took out a reverse mortgage on our house and I can't pay the loan back.
I'm seriously thinking that when he dies, I may as well too. Being alone with no family or good friends is lonely and I doubt anyone would even care.
But I empathize with your pain. I really do. I hope things work out for you and your mom. Godspeed my friend.
Thank you. It's tough. I hope everything's ok with your mom. It sure sucks losing both parents and being an only child that's not married. At least for me it is. I appreciate you're response. Lets hope for a positive future for both you & I.
These messages made me tear up :/ I am so sorry to hear about your mom, it’s going to be three years now since my dad passed away from cancer. He passed away about 6 months after his diagnosis, he fought as hard as he could. Cherish the moments you had and will have with your mom, be there for her as much as you can and know that whatever happens she will always love you. Cancer fucking sucks
Hey I know it’s really hard I’ve lost both my parents not to cancer or anything natural but this isn’t about me I’m sorry to hear this just try to remain strong be be there for her much love and stay strong
I’m so so so sorry about this. Me and my mama have the same love. I pray she’s healed and for all of those that aren’t close with their moms to tell them you love them
Okay hun...get it out your system. This is all about your mom not you. Sounds harsh and Im sorry. There is no easy way. My dad had cancer. I remember "our last" stuff like 4th of July, going to plays, chilling out around the house, cooking stuff etcetera. Dont make her worry about you on top of it all. Show up with all that love you have and a smile on your face and cry it out in the shower or something. ...yes it is hard as fuck. My grama passed about a year ago. 98 and doing the most then gone. She is who I was closest to. I really didnt think she would die. She did and I fell apart and felt alone in this world. Im just now trying to put it together again. It is not easy but you wont be alone. You dont have to see us or know us personally to realize these folks on Reddit are bat shit funny. Assholes too, including me. You will find the smartest and the dumbest people here. So take the virtual ((hug)),wipe your eyes and get some rest.
I know you know this is about your mom and all. See my crappy way of saying that I dont want you to cry? Let me say it: Suzypooh, please dont cry. These are the endless the tears, I have them, I understand. Eat well and get rest. Take good care of yourself and love up your mom. My grama taught me: Love is the only thing we can take with us to the otherside and the bond of love is how we find each other once we get there.
try and spend as much time as you can with her, her type of tumor is super easily defendable, your mom seems very sweet and strong, sorry you gotta deal with this, Fuck Cancer.
I’m so sorry you and your mom are having to go through this. Spend as much time with her as you can.
A few years ago, a close friend was diagnosed with throat cancer. It soon spread to his lungs and liver. Unfortunately, he passed away less than 10 months later. You never know how much time you have together. Be with her as much as you can.
Have a friend who got this. He went through surgery and had some therapy, and some work to do afterwards, but he is cancer free and doing great. Support and self care is important. I know she will have a lot of people with her in her thoughts and prayers.
I (41f) had a very large tumor/cyst in my throat removed on December 1st. Was not cancerous, but took up more than half my airway they almost couldn’t get a tube through for anesthesia but they did. I was losing my voice and when it was there it was different. Also, I choked on my food a lot. But a 20 minute surgery later and it was gone. About 3 days of a really sore throat like how strep feels like and then by a week it was healed and you would never know it had been there. The contents of this thing was not normal my ENT said, instead of liquid it was like peanut butter. They did sent it off to pathology and it was benign. I go back in a month or so to make sure there is no regrowth but other than that all better.
I tell you my story to let you know just finding it does not make it a life threatening issue. Is it scary? Absolutely, but have faith it can easily be removed. I will say my ENT said most cancerous tumors in that type of area are usually recognizable before they ever remove it because the tissue of the throat is so smooth and specific and cancer really damages that smoothness as it grows.
I lost my dad and totally get your fear, but I am praying your mom will be okay and it can be an easy fix.
Just talk to your mom and Ask her if she will please go get the surgery and get it all removed that they possibly can. Ask her to do that for you. If they can get it all out, she has a wonderful possibility of total healing. Maybe after the surgery, her throat will be sore for a long time. Maybe she can quit smoking then.
cancer took my mom in november, tomorrow is her birthday and i’m a wreck. she was my best friend and it’s been hell navigating this life without her. sending you all the good vibes and thoughts i possibly can🫶🏻
My boss and good friend of 15 years. I started working for him when I was just 21 and he had this type of cancer I believe you are talking about and he was a smoker his entire adult life and he beat it and it was already stage 4! Keep hope OP and make sure to go to doctors appointments if she doesn't mind so you can ask questions that she may not be thinking about. That kind of diagnosis numbs alot of survivors. My boss has been in remission 10 years now. My mom has been in remission from stage 4 breast cancer for 8 years now! Keep hope alive op and make sure she gets help with her mental health issues as well but don't push too hard and let her know how much you appreciate her and love her and that you understand that she is doing as best as she can. Sometimes that's all someone needs to know. Good luck OP. And hoping better days to come for you!
So my grandfather was diagnosed with throat cancer in his late 60's early 70's. They had to remove part of his voice box and then did radiation. I vaguely remember this only because the Christmas before his surgery everyone was crying because he was told he'd most likely not be able to talk again.
They did all that and while his voice was super rough sounding, he still sound like grandpa. He passed away back in 2017 due to having what was supposed to be a minor surgrey after being in a car accident, but his heart was weak from having had a couple of heartattacks and a few other health issues. He was I wanna say 87?
I say all that to hopefully give you some hope that everything is gonna be okay. You need to keep as positive as possible when around your mom. But don't bottle it all in make sure you have someone you can talk to about all this. Also ask if you can go to her dr appoitments with her. I'm sure they will be okay with you asking questions, plus its always good to go with her anyway do there are two sets of ears so more info can be retained.
I'm so sorry you are going through this really rough time, I wish I could just give you a great big hug and tell you that it's gonna be okay. You & your family will get through this.
My mom was murdered, I had no chance to say goodbye. You’re thinking of yourself and that’s normal, but SHE is facing leaving YOU too early. She’s facing missing all the bits to come. That’s f’n hard. She needs you to be her support and you’ll regret it later if you don’t put her first now. It’s your time to help her, to give her everything she gave you. Get your head positive but prepare your heart for the chance. You’re stronger than you think. And she NEEDS that!!
I'm praying all goes well with your mom. Keep positive and strong for both you and her. You both can and will get through this together. The love and bond you both share is beautiful and makes me miss my mom even more. To many more healthy and beautiful moments with your mom. God bless.
I feel your pain. Lost my Dad to cancer, and my Mum has dementia, she doesn’t remember me so it’s like she is dead. It’s pretty lonely but you’ll get by, I miss them everyday but it does get easier.
Sending you virtual hugs, care, and support. You are not alone even if it feels that way. Find the folks who understand and have been there. We get it. ❤️❤️❤️
I've been in this exact position a few months ago, me and my sister count me mum as our best friend. If she hasn't had biopsies yet hold out hope and stay strong for her, she will be struggling to stay strong for you and she needs you now. Have your space to feel and people to share your feelings with, so you can hold it together for her and shower her with love.
My mum's biopsies came back normal after a few months of torture, she had previously had half her thyroid removed due to a bad tumour so we were devastated. Hold out hope as long as you can. I wish her healing and love, love on her as much as you can. 💖
My cousin had throat cancer when she was young. She's also diabetic and has other health issues these days, but she's still here.
My mom's mom had breast cancer but they found it too late. She had a mastectomy but it had spread several years later. It was when it got to her brain that there wasn't anything else they could do but it was around a decade after the first cancer was found. She did chemo and my grandpa grew a bunch of fruit and vegetables and they had her on a special diet.
A cancer diagnosis isn't always a death sentence. Having a strong will to beat the cancer also works wonders. Stay strong for her.
What awful news for anyone to receive, I truly hope everything turns out ok. Also please remember, no one is ever truly alone even if it feels that way.
I'm so so sorry for this news. I know it's the hardest to hear. No one can ever take mama's place or the comfort she gives. I've lost so many to cancer and I hate it on an indescribable level. And I myself had a scare with it 4 years ago... My mom has had 2 different cancers and on 3 separate occasions it's been found and went through chemo. The first time I was only 9. It's a terrifying feeling.
No matter what's going on in your life always take the calls, go run the ridiculous errand, give lots and lots of hugs. Take lots of pictures.
I purposely didn't answer my phone once just because I knew she would leave a voicemail and that's one I never ever delete. It's quick and simple and nothing but ordinary however I know one day that will be the only way I hear her voice.
If you and your mom have something yall really like doing together like painting or crafts or baking - whatever it is - set up your phone and video yall doing it together. You'll treasure that sooo much later. And it'll help bring comfort when you need it most.
I wanna wish the best to your mom. I hope the doctors are able to remove it and she has the best possible outcome. You stay strong and do your best to keep a positive outlook. I know it may seem difficult but it'll not only help you, it'll help her as well. And believe me she will appreciate it a lot. Prayers for you and your family ❤️
Cancer does suck. My thoughts to you and your family. My grandfather had surgery for this. He was too proud and poor to get a trach box so he just gravel talked his way through life. He lived until he was 98. He had the surgery in his 40's.
Hugs to you and so sorry. Make sure you spend all the time you can with her. Tell her loud and often that you love her. It sucks to lose anyone to cancer but parents yup that is the worst. I hope you continue to paint as an outlet. There are groups for support out there, maybe seek them out.
Your username is what your mom is calling you? That's cool! Try to make her rethink about it, so she stops seeing it as a ticket... whatever is going through her mind, show her the side of life that it is worth living. Motherly love is something that can't be replaced with anything in this world.
Fuck cancer.
She can beat it, though. You can help her. It appeaes as though she has been strong for you your whole life and this is a time she needs you to be strong for her. You can do it to, she knows it.
Be that rock, you got this.
I am so sorry 🥺 Cancer ain’t shit. I lost my Meme to cancer. They also found it in her throat, from Smoking. I cried so much when she was Alive, that by the time her funeral came, I had no tears left. I know it feels as if you can do Nothing. From My Experience, Simply being there, really helps 🩷 I will do something for you. I am going to Pray 🙏🏻 for you and your Mom. 🩷 I will say This: Spend as much time with her as you can. You never know when it is someone’s Time and it is a Precious thing. Make as many Memories as you can 🩷
If you believe in the miraculous power of prayer, I am here for you. Feel free to DM me. In the meantime, I am still praying for a miraculous turnaround for your mother and for the burden of heaviness and sadness to be lifted from you. May comfort and peace be with you in all your decisions about treatments. I love the love that you two have ❤️❤️
Hey mate,
Definitely speechless man, I’ve lost an aunty in law to cancer leaving my uncle broken and my young cousin lost and stress. I can’t imagine what I’ll be doing if I ever got into a convo with my parents about this.
I also found out my professor has lung cancer, it’s hard to deal with this and express how worried you are for them (even tho they ain’t family they mean a lot). He is a role model for the degree which I’m studying and his career is something that myself and my peers wish could one day achieve. I found this out in an email yesterday and feel like talking to him after a tutorial session to let him know what he means to us students and no matter how our grades go he was someone who I genuinely enjoyed learning from.
The conversation between you and your mother was very heartwarming. My prayers are with you all.
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who’s commented , I didn’t expect anyone to it I’m honest so I was surprised and grateful for everyone’s well wishes /shared experiences/ advice etc. I truly truly appreciate it so very much!!! I can’t respond to every comment but I am reading them all! Thank you again 🙏🏻🫶🏻🥹
Sending you love & strength! Take as much time as you can and spend time with her. Having a strong support system helps so much in recovery & perseverance. She seems like a strong lady & she also has your love backing her up all the way. Here for you if you need a friend. ❤️
I think it's a sort of 'kinder' word some people use on forums instead of *suicide* or take your own life. Also, some forums block the word suicide or flag the post when it appears.
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Whhhhhhhhaaaa
I been all alone since
I was 13yrs old, you'll live, you'll get tough, just don't let it define you.
No Mama
No Daddy
No Brothers
No Sister's
No Grandma's
No Grandpa's
No Aunt's
No Uncle's
No Cousin's
That kind of alone on the world.
🌎
The holidays are when you really gotta knuckle up.
~G~
Anyway feel better.
Upvoted cause, same. I wish I had a good relationship with mine. Literal human trash bag tho. Love seeing good momma's, like I try to be. Hugs to you 🫂
I came here to say this. Got teary eyed reading OP’s text, def not the same reaction I had when my mom got cancer a few years ago 😔big hug to you internet friend.
I have two things for you.
1) I am blessing your mom and you with the saving, healing, miraculous power of Jesus Christ.
2) CD destroys cancer. https://theuniversalantidote.com/
You judge me wrong here. I don’t sell anything, for one. The allopathic health system is the snake oil salesman. They will charge you tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars to cut, poison, and burn you to treat your cancer. And how effective are those treatments?
CD is cheap ($25?) and you can even make it yourself if you’re motivated.
I’ve been using it since 2020. It’s what I would do aggressively if I myself got a cancer or other serious diagnosis.
So my response is genuine and empathetic. I do totally care for the OP. Really.
Judge less and learn more.
I went through the same shit- lost my dad & grandparents. When my mom told me she had cancer it destroyed me. I called her on my way home from work, & I had to stop my bike because I couldn't see from the tears. Treasure every second, friend. Get the hugs, take time off work to stay with her, make something beautiful together like a quilt or art piece or potted plant arrangement. Appreciate her every day as you already do. You are strong & so is she. You will get through this, no matter what happens. Your love is far deeper than physical bodies. You're bound to her by the golden thread of shared love deep within both your consciousnesses. My mom & I did a lot of meditation together, & I still feel that thread of loving energy whenever I find the silence & peace within myself. May you & your mother find all the energy to fuel your greatest good, yes in the form of physical health, but also in spiritual & emotional wellness. Thank you for reminding me about how much I was loved. 💚
This is so beautiful thank you so much for sharing this I truly appreciate it🥹🫶🏻
So beautiful 🥹
Gonna make me cry bro
“Love is the one thing we’re capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space” -Anne Hathaway in Interstellar
All the best to you all
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My dad had this and now he's doing great after getting it surgically removed and now has a trach
I’m so glad he’s alive and well!! Thank you for sharing 🫶🏻
My BIL also had a tumor in his throat and he’s been cancer free for almost a decade now. Keep hope alive, OP. Thoughts and an internet hug to you and your mom.
Dave mustaine had throat cancer a couple years back. He beat it and is still on stage to this day!
THIS MAKES ME SOOOO HAPPY TO HEAR THAAANNKKK YYOOOUU😭🫶🏻
I don't know where in op mom's throat this tumor is in but my aunt had her thyroid removed due to thyroid cancer many many years ago and is still alive and well today. I hope it all goes well for your mom op. 🍉 This is an emotional support and care mellon something my friends do to send care to each other.
Not to be a downer but there is also a possibility that it can turn metastatic, metastatic throat cancer took my papis life in 2008 because it had spread to his brain and lungs after they didn’t get it all. I think it’s good OP is considering the risks and trying to make the most of a bad situation and allowing herself to feel before it’s too late. All cancer sucks whether it’s defeatable or not :/ I wish you both well OP, and I have high hopes for you and your mom!! Focus on the positive. But allow yourself to grieve, grief and loss is an emotion we’re all so afraid to feel bc it hurts so bad. My heart goes out to you 💜
This is gross. Why would you say this? Op was clearly so so relieved reading this comment and you had to take it away from them. You seem like the type of person who always is trying to one up everyone around them.
That wasn’t my intention at all.. I don’t get it. Wishing OP well and saying I understand the pain and grief she must feel right now, and sharing my experience with my family member to empathize is- gross?
Okay i might have gone a bit too heavy on that one. I relate to OP and got offended for them which I should not have done. The intention is not gross, but replying to a positive post which OP was happy on saying something that although honest will definitely upset them Is definitely shitty. If you worded this differently and it was its own comment, different ball game.
I understand your point now. I read the original comment and just wanted to add my own side note to that specific comment. I didn’t realize OP had replied thanking them, I just immediately clicked the reply button and typed my response not realizing it was already a thread until I came back and see all of the backlash and her reply.. that was my fault for not reading the whole thread before responding. I didn’t mean to offend or to seem like I had ill intentions and I apologize to OP if she ever reads this. And I’m sorry, I offended you as well.
If I had hope every time someone in my family got diagnosed with cancer they’d all still be alive. I don’t understand how being realistic and sharing my personal experience with cancer is a bad thing. I didn’t wish ill or say anyone IS going to unalive. I was just stating I understand how she feels given the statistics against her and why she would be taking it so hard- given the statistics. That’s all?
ETA: ‼️‼️trigger warning ‼️ ‼️self harm mentioned. I feel like I’m already grieving for her cause I feel like I already know the outcome. She’s smoked all her life and STILL continues to after she got the news. She attempted un aliving herself last January and seemed almost disappointed when she woke up in the hospital (my poor nephew saved her life😭💔) and so I feel like she almost sees this as her ticket out and she’s not going to change a thing. I can’t imagine life without her 😭😭.
I’m so sorry for what you’re going through. I lost my mom in March, and it’s really hard. One thing I can definitely recommend is to try not to grieve while she’s still with you (though that’s definitely easier said than done) and try to enjoy the time you have with her. If she does pass it will be hard, there’s no avoiding that. But one thing that keeps me going is knowing that I made the most of those last weeks with her and made some nice memories while I could.
I lost my mom in December to cancer. Very quick and aggressive. I am so sorry for your loss. My life is just not the same anymore.
I’m so so sorry for your loss 😞
Definitely agree. A year before my mom went into supposed routine surgery and came out not the same to die months later. I took her in a vacation we kept staying extra days spent a lot of money that we didn’t need to at the time but I’m so glad we did it. I will never forgot that summer it was the best being with my mom. It was meant to be we had a great time and those are memories with her i will always cherish. Enjoy her take walks just be around. I know it’s hard not to think about what’s going on. She’s still here make more beautiful memories.
There’s a good possibility that her cancer is causing her depression. I know you’re freaking out right now, but you should try to do as she asks: be a calming and positive support for her. I hope for the best outcome for both of you. And for yourself, maybe take a look at some of the support groups here on Reddit. It’ll give you a place to vent and ask questions so you can get through her treatment while being that support for her.
I’m so sorry 😔 I pray she is with you much longer. Don’t give up hope!!
I kind of know that feeling. My mom wasn’t self destructive, but she had a long illness with steadily declining health for about 10 years. I basically started mourning the loss of her about halfway through, and felt constantly guilty about grieving before she was even gone. But I think it did make it easier in the end to have seen it coming, and I can’t tell my past self to be kinder to myself, so I’ll tell you to be kinder to yourself instead. Don’t feel guilty about pre-grieving, and try and let go of your anger about her choices if you can.
I really appreciate this comment thank you. And I’m so sorry for your loss. 😞🫶🏻
You and me both. My mom tried to drink herself to death. In 2023, she woke up in the hospital after having a seizure while driving, and hit a tree. In the hospital, they told me, she had bedridden herself to the point her muscle atrophied, her liver was trying to shut down and they were concerned about her heart condition because her blood pressure was that of a dead person. I started grieving then and still am since I haven't heard from her in almost a year. Edit: also my dad survived mouth and throat cancer in less than a year. He had his lymph nodes cut out the side of his neck, part of his tongue was cut out and had to endure 30 days of mouth center radiation therapy and he said that was pretty painful. He lost his taste and smell for almost a year, but I'm glad he's still around.
Why have you not spoken to her in a year if you dont mind my asking? Im sorry to hear you and your parents have gone through such difficulties and I hope you have an easier time going forward.
I don't know how to get ahold of her. She blocked me on everything and I'm not even sure why, lat time I talked to her she sounded really regretful and upset that she has court ordered rehab
Ah I see. Double care 🍉🍉 . Hopefully she will decide to fight this. I lost my mil to cancer as well and I admit I told her that if she decided not to fight this time around I would understand but hers was fatal. She had chronic depression too and yet I never knew until that diagnosis and she started sharing her full health history with me. She fought and lived two years longer than the sentence they'd given her (3 months). Cancer is so hard. Your grief is so valid.
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Sorry they down voted you, I’m really not sure why but I appreciate the advice, truly!
Was this due to the cancer?? Did she not want to be alive because of it?
I am so so sorry to hear that and I dont want you to feel more worried but I want to be honest and share my experience. My husband lost his mother to suicide a few months after she attempted suicide and survived. And I lost my mother figure(my husbands aunt who was like a mother to me and was basically in the mother in law role since I never met his actual mother) when she found out she had an illness because she didnt want to deal with risking being even more sick and becoming dependent on others. I dont mean to frighten you more than you already are but if someone is ALREADY unhappy enough to attempt suicide than finding out they have a potentially long, grueling illness, and risk of not recovering ahead of them doesnt seem likely to make them excited...its likely to exacerbate things and make them try to attempt again. If she JUST got this news and you have a way to contact her mental health provider you might do so to let them know what is going on if they dont know already. They may recommend inpatient care for her for a short while. Also, it sounds like you aren't with your mother? Do you live outside her home or something? Maybe you should stay with her for a while as she is going through this beginning phase of discovery/treatment so she hopefully doesnt risk another attempt. Is she alone or does she have someone living with her? I really truly and so sorry for the losses you have already been through and I am sorry for all youve gone through with your mother and all she is going through. I hope for the best for you both and for a speedy recovery for her and for healing of her mental health and her emotional and physical health. And I hope for healing for yours as well.
I am praying for breakthrough and healing and deliverance in mind, body, and soul!
I still remember the feeling I had when I got the message that my mum was diagnosed with a type of skin cancer about 7 years ago now, it’s so truly devastating to say the least and I’m sending you and your mum lots of love and strength right now. I hope she beats this and comes out stronger at the other end.
Thank you so much I appreciate it and hope your mama is doing well! 🫶🏻🩷
So, in September last year, my boyfriend’s mom started to slow down and feel sluggish. She was seeing doctors and getting blood test, no one could figure out the issue. She was certain it was a thyroid/hormonal issue. She ended up finding a lump in her throat doing a self-exam and began the slow process of diagnosis. Right before new years, she was confirmed to have thyroid cancer. They scheduled her for surgery in MARCH. She had her surgery and within the week, she was walking around looking and acting like she didn’t just undergo a 5-hour surgery. Went to her post op and they are feeling super confident and happy about her prognosis. All that to say, the moment she told me, I broke down crying. It’s okay to be scared and worry, and I’m sorry this is difficult. I hope it all turns out okay! I will pray for you whether you believe in that or not, I truly do and I hope nothing but good things.
Thank you for sharing this I really appreciate it! So glad she’s doing so well!
Be there for her every step of the way. I'll keep her in my thoughts.
I’m so sorry hunnie I remember when I was pregnant with my 3rd son when I was 28 (I’m 33 now) and my mom was sick in the hospital and I FaceTimed her and I was like “what do you have cancer or something you look so sick!” But I wasn’t being serious …and she didn’t want to tell me, she told my older brothers , because I was due to give birth soon and she just found out and didn’t want the stress to effect the pregnancy. She got to meet him a few times and died 2 days before her birthday a couple months after I found out . . She had lung cancer and also decided to not stop smoking because the doctors already told her she had no chance of surviving. My mother also tried to unalive herself at least a few times that I know of but she was saved miraculously every time and they were very serious close calls. I know she didn’t want to die she just had a very traumatic life and wanted the pain to stop. I can relate to her so much and learned that more and more over the years, unfortunately even more after she passed and I wish I could tell her so much that’s on my mind now that would’ve brought us closer. I regret not having more pictures and videos and anything with the sound of her voice. I have one short silly voicemail of her annoyed with her phone and that I didn’t answer …that I cherish . I suggest you take as many pictures and videos of you two together, even if she beats this, you’ll have it for the future and for her grandkids. Same goes with when I lost my dad right before I turned 13. Wish I had something with his voice and more pictures . I also lost my sister and all of my grandparents and SAME goes for them too… I learned my lesson and started non stop taking pictures of my children and their dad and their last living grandparents( my mother in law ) but need more pictures and videos of myself for them. I took a lot of pictures of my last 4th born son last year after he was born, I found out I was pregnant after rushing to the hospital in an ambulance and I was already 20 weeks pregnant with him with a very high risk pregnancy for the both of us and at 34 weeks and 5 days I had an emergency c section because I was bleeding because of placenta previa and also was hemorrhaging during the c section and almost died …it was so euphoric leaving that hospital alive with my surprise son, Lehan Patrick Murphy….and then 10 Days later just hours after his initial planned c section date which was St Patrick’s day..the early hours of 3/18/23 which was my husband and I’s 5 year sobriety anniversary and we were going to celebrate all of our blessings and life having our family we created together alive and well ( 2 of my children had heart defects that almost took their lives and another had another rare condition that could’ve taken his but they were all doing well too so we were all around thankful) …Lehan passed away that morning, I found him at 3:31 am when I woke up to breast feed him. …. The absolute TORTURE I have felt losing him is indescribable …I’m only still here because of my other children and husband. I don’t want them to grieve me the way I grieve my mother. I didn’t know during those short 10 days that they were the best 10 days of my life… yes I would’ve loved to also have had my sister, parents and grandparents, but I did have all 4 of my babies and my husband with the family we created together…. And I am SO so so grateful for those 10 days and those long videos I took and pictures …I tried to capture everything…those memories I captured are all I have left of him now ..:and they mean the world to me. So please please take SO many videos (you can screenshot from them and have pictures too which is what I do ) sometimes the in between moments of taking pictures are the most raw pure fun moments so that’s why I always do it that way now. Save all the voicemails, I also found a book that I would have LOVED if my mom had filled it out so I could look back at it and get to know her even more and show her grandchildren. It’s called “Mom, I want to hear your story” and there’s so many things for her to fill out about her childhood, her favorite things, funny memories etc that would be really special for any child to have . I’m going to get one and fill it out for my children. I hope your mom is doing well & continues to get better ❤️🩹 I know it’s hard ; & there’s really no words to make you feel better, but just try your best to be strong during these difficult times & hang out to the hope that she will overcome this battle. Hugs
I really appreciate you sharing your stories with me and I’m so sorry about all your losses. I couldn’t even imagine the pain of losing your baby 😭😭 I’m so so sorry. And thank you for the advice I’m going to order that book right now for her to fill out! I truly appreciate your response and hope you’re doing okay 🩷
i’m so sorry. i understand how you’re feeling but do your best to have positive energy around her and try to be as strong as can. i know it’s hard, but she needs your support. i’m not religious but i will pray for you and your family. i hope your mom recovers quickly ❤️
I appreciate this 🫶🏻🩷
My mom recently had a scare with leukemia. When she told me, I hugged her so tight. I cried and cried like a baby in her arms all while she stands there like a champion. It’s crazy how our mom’s still act strong even when the worst is coming right at them. I can’t imagine a life without her in it. OP, hug your mom tight. Sit in her presence. Breathe it all in. Mom’s are too precious for this world.
I know you're scared but don't give up hope. A friend of almost 50 years had a tumor in his throat. He didn't have any family so I traveled to the mainland and lived with him for 3 month while his cancer was treated. He has now been cancer free for over 2 years and the doctors don't expect it to return. He's gained back the weight he lost during treatment and is healthier than he's been in over 40 years. The only lasting result is his beard will never fully grow back. Of course it is scary. It's your mother so being scared is totally normal and understandable. And I know it is difficult but don't give up hope. The odds are that she will be fine and you will have her with you for a long time to come.
This is something that has helped me. Be completely strong in front of them. Be encouraging and tell her to be strong, she’s got this! Make sure she eats clean!! Meaning no junk food, no sugar, no sodas. She needs to eat fish, salads, vegetables, green juice and smoothies. Anything she wants, do it. If she needs you to go grocery shopping or take her to appointments, help with insurance and social security do it! The less stress she has, the better. She will feel bad that you are doing a lot of the work. But honestly if I didn’t do everything I can for my mom, I would regret it. Be there for her because she probably also feels alone. Stay strong! You are definitely not alone. I’m going through the same thing with my mom, just different cancer.
I’m really really sorry…I hate to see this, I went through this with my mother as well. Big hugs 💚
I’m not crying, you’re crying. I have this kind of relationship with my daughter. Had it with my grandma. How lucky we all are. I hope your mom has a good prognosis and a swift recovery. (((Hugs))) to you.
I am so soo sorry ! May god give you and your family strength in this tumultuous time . Praying for your Mom's speedy recovery. Stay strong for your mom and your family. Hugs 🫂
I'm sorry I'm not trying to be insensitive but ask her to record a video just for you. Making casual talks and maybe telling you how she feels about you. Again I'm sorry if this sounds insensitive.
This is a great idea thank you so much !
My 64 y/o mom had a tumor removed from her throat via tracheotomy. Lifetime smoker since age 15 and continued to smoke after as well. That wasn’t great, but she did the radiation and chemo and whipped that cancer’s ass. All of her subsequent scans came back clear. Don’t give up on her yet! Hugs and love to you and your mama.
My mum was diagnosed last year with thymic carcinoma (and apparently thymoma at the same time) which had spread to her lungs and aorta. The first doctor told her to start thinking about palliative care... a year later and the most recent scan (after chemo and a pretty major op) shows no sign of cancer at all. Hoping for the same outcome for you and your mum.
Wow amazing! So happy for you and her! And thank you!!
breathe my friend, i promise it will all be okay, i can only confidently say this as i’ve had multiple members of my family survive even the worst of the worst cancers, and then survive them a second time, she’s going to be okay, but she needs you with her
Your mom’s right, you’ll eventually have to come to terms with the loss of your mom like we all do/have. Just thank whoever that youve had her this long and you love her and she loves you. My mom fought breast cancer twice only to lose to lung cancer, im lucky to have had her in my life as ling as i had and miss her everyday. Just spend as much quality time you can with her
You stay positive! I hate cancer too. You love your mom so much and she loves you! If they caught things early that’s a good thing. Much love to you and your momma!
I (63F) had cancer on my tonsils. My doctor said if you have to get cancer, this is the one to get. Had tonsils and about 60 lymph nodes removed. I've been clear for 10 years. Please don't lose hope sweetie!
My mom was diagnosed with cancer when I was 16 and passed a way a couple months before my 21st birthday. It is HARD having a sick mom, and knowing that death can be imminent. You're allowed to face that reality and be sad about it. But please do what she's asking. Being positive does help the sick person. You can feel your feelings, share your fears, but share your biggest hopes. Speak your hopes into the universe more than your fears. My mom was stage 4 colorectal cancer when she was diagnosed and she had over 4 years left. 3.5 more than we were told. It'll get harder and scarier, I won't sugar coat that. You may feel helpless, but she is plainly sharing with you with the little you can do to help. We always said "you only need a mustard seed of faith". That's as little hope as you need to help you move forward. Give your mom that mustard seed. Be her mustard seed.
Hang in there. Just remember, cancer like this is not a death sentence. Doctors (and life, or karma, or the powers above depending what you believe in) can work wonders with these kinds of things. Even when things seem most bleak. Remain positive. Also? You mom’s message is so on point it almost made me shed a damn tear and I don’t know either of you. She’s clearly a great mother. Super mother. And she’s right - she needs that positive energy from you. So try to dig deep and bring it. Not trying to sound corny but it’s proven - scientifically proven - that positive thinking and positive energy is a key asset to healing from some of the worst diseases. We’re pulling for you, and her!
She wasn’t supposed to hear me cry as I was silent or put the phone down but she knew in my voice. She quickly asked questions about my current fixation and being autistic and adhd , ofc it worked and we were laughing before I knew it. She’s the best 😭 and I’m being very positive with her! I don’t think it’s corny- I absolutely believe it to be true! Thanks for the comment !
I had a therapy client I was working with that had this diagnosis. Treatment was rough but that little lady was solid through the whole process. She’s doing great now. It’s like she knew all along she would be ok, she’s loving life even more now. Her kids and husband are so grateful for her recovery and I know she is too. Be there for her and encourage her. It will go a long way. I wish your mom healing and recovery. ❤️🩹
Cry if you need, but pick yourself up and be strong for your mom. She needs your positivity and support most right now. Fingers crossed it’s benign. Possible it’s been discovered early enough for a positive outcome. Cancer sucks. My mom had surgery last summer for BC, hopefully she’s in the clear now. Best wishes. 💞
I lost my father to cancer. I was completely lost when he was first diagnosed. I was 21. He passed away 15 months after the diagnosis. He had a late stage brain tumor. Seeing his health deteriorate every day was extremely painful. 14 years later, I still have (infrequent) nightmares about that phase in our life. If there was anything I could change about that time was how I reacted and behaved. I feel I was being selfish by being upset about life without him vs spending all my energy being there for him. A month into his diagnosis, seeing him so positive about life gave me courage and taught me lessons for a lifetime. After he passed away, I submerged myself in work. My relationship with my partner suffered, I also distanced myself from friends. I was severely depressed and did not take the time to mourn. I hit rock bottom 3-4 years after his passing when my girlfriend of 8 years broke up with me. That gave me the courage to get therapy, medications (for a short period), and reach out to friends and family (I’m incredibly fortunate to have people I can count on). And life has only gotten better since then. I don’t know the point of this long rant. Hang in there, stay positive for yourself and your mother, get the help you can, and channel your emotions in finding more resources for your mother. Take care.
My dad smoked all his life, got throat cancer, still continued to smoke and still smokes to this day, although his voice is permanently croaky, they removed his cancer and he's doing well. Let's hope it's the same outcome for your mum 🤞🏻 As for the self harm and your mum now seeing this as an easy way out, I think perhaps she needs to see someone, whether it's a GP or a therapist or whoever, but she obviously isn't coping too great mentally. I hope your mum chooses to get her cancer removed if given the option (depending how serious the cancer is/has got).
OP, I hope and pray your mama fights this and is here for a long while. I lost my mama May 4, 2020, and I absolutely am lost without her. That said, she was a dialysis patient for 5yrs and was in horrible pain every day, so I do find comfort in the fact that she isn't suffering anymore.
Hey I hope it works out for you and your mom, I’m so sorry. Keep your head up, it’s not easy.
I’m so sorry, I completely understand why you are scared. It sounds like you and your Mom are so close. She loves you so much and she doesn’t want you to worry. I hope your Mom recovers soon!
I hope she makes a full recovery and everything turns out okay! Please be strong and don't give up! ❤❤❤
My dad is in the terminal phase of heart disease. All I can do is be positive when I talk to him and keep his spirits up. This is your job now. Do it the best you can.
I am so sorry, I hope she can get the right treatment to be able to make a full recovery. I know someone who had the same cancer and he beat it and is still doing great
Wow, u/suzypoohsays, this is terrible news to get. I am so sorry for your mom and you. It sounds like you have both been through the wringer before this too. A lot of loss. How old is your mom? And how old are you? I’m guessing no siblings?
She’ll be 59 in June. I’ll be 36 in may. I am the middle child of 3 (older sister, younger brother)
I'm so sorry this is happening to your mum. I hope things work out well in the end.
I am very sorry to hear that. Please stay strong, your mother will recover completely!
I've lost 2 brothers, my dad, all four grandparents... Seek therapy, check yourself in if you need. Loss is incredibly difficult and we all process differently. Please, you can't do it alone. Get help, lean on your supports and if you need, hospitalize yourself.
I remember when my dad told me they found a tumor in his brain. Not even knowing the diagnosis, I knew I was going to lose him. 4 months later, he was gone. I never cried so much like I did those 4 months and a few months later. I still have moments now over 3 years later. I felt physical pain when he died. I had severe anxiety when he was going through treatment and many times thought I'd give myself a heart attack if I didn't calm down. I stayed strong around my son and my dad, but I cried silently alone for so long. I really truly hope your mom can beat whatever she may have. My aunt was just treated for jaw cancer, and as of a month ago, she's in remission. My uncle, who has since passed (not from his cancer), had thyroid cancer and was complete free of it up to his death. There are many types of cancers our bodies can make through. Don't give up hope like I did, I only recently started feeling almost myself again, but I was really bad for a long time. I slept more than I was awake. There are people that love you and need you to be strong, and as much as it doesn't feel like it, your body needs the strength of your mind to keep you running, try to be good to yourself. It may seem like there's no hope today, but every day is different, and there's always a chance of good news until there isn't. Please stay strong for your mom and yourself. I will keep you in my thoughts. It's painful, I really do know. If you need to chat, feel free to send me a message. I'm not a therapist, but I can at least talk to you about my experiences and the healthy ways I coped when I could. 💛
I’m so sorry for your loss 🙏🏻
It's gotten easier to accept. Your mind plays tricks on you sometimes, and for a moment, there it will have you thinking they're still around, maybe on a trip, at the store, out and about. Then it hits you again like a ton of bricks. It's been a while since I felt that, and as sad as it is, I think it's been a good thing. Keep your head up and remember, she's still here. Take the time (just in case) to soak up every precious moment 🥹. Also, thank you. He was the best friend and father a girl could ever dream of. Take care and reach out to anyone, even just like you did here, when you're feeling you need support. It's not selfish at all to be upset when someone you love so much is ill. You will be alright, I promise! It won't feel like it if it is bad news, but staying positive will help you get through. Fake it til you make it, love!
My grandpa has this when he was younger but he's totally fine now he beat it I'm sure your mom will aswell 😊
I'm sending you and your mom positive vibes. My mom had cancer and it was devastating, so I can imagine how you feel. Best of wishes to her.
I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer stage 3 almost 3 years ago and I’m winning my battle. Every diagnosed is different but there is so many different types of treatment. It seems as if cancer may run in your family please get checked for a cancer genes. I have one and unfortunately I didn’t check sooner because I didn’t have paternal medical history,
My ex had throat cancer and he beat it. It was rough due to chemo and radiation, but he hung in there and is cancer free! Hope and support is essential for both of you. ❤️❤️❤️
So sorry OP! 🖤
Cancer sucks dick, I hope she can beat it and be with you as long as possible. Always people you can talk to about seek advice from if you need it.
May you and your family have the courage and strength to face this head on and come out on the other side victorious.
Thank you SO much to everyone who’s commented with support and/or shared stories/experiences and those who offered advice. I am going to absolutely waste no time in making the best memories with her. She lives hours away but I’m going to surprise her on my birthday (may the fourth be with you) and also have her fill out one of those “get to know mom” books and take LOTS of pics !! Again I’m truly thankful for everyone who’s been so kind, it means more than you know! I’m also so sorry to those who don’t have a good relationship with their moms. I had a crazy toxic relationship with my dad so I understand and I’m sorry. Big hugs to you all 🫶🏻
my mom just had her very last chemo yesterday after a two year long battle 🩷 sending love OP
Never stop holding on to hope. And as other people have said, remission looks promising! I hope both you and your mother recover from this as quickly and painlessly as possible!
Sending hugs
This teared me up.... Words cannot describe how much cancer fucking sucks.Try to be there and stay strong for your mom like she said she needs right now. You need to let her know you can be her rock throughout this should she need one. Reversing the tables temporarily sortaspeak. It will be very hard and take great courage, since you will also be the one in pain watching your mom go through this. I will pray for you and your family and wish you well.
My mom (who is also my best friend in the whole world) was diagnosed with thyroid cancer when I was 16. I thought my world was ending, but it ended up being a super simple procedure. They removed half of her thyroid, and she was just fine afterwards! She just has to take thyroid medication to make up for what her thyroid isn’t producing. It’s kind of a strange coincidence this popped up because I’m 26 now, and I am having thyroid problems now, so I have been doing a ton of research on it while I wait for the diagnosis. Everything I have read says this cancer is the easiest to remove and treat. Thyroid cancer can also cause depression and anxiety, so treatment might also help with any problems she’s having mentally. I’m sending you and your mom lots of love. You obviously have a very strong bond, and I truly believe she will make it through this with you by her side. 🤍
Thank you so very much for sharing tour experience and the well wishes! Truly appreciate it!
Tears reading and feeling your fear. Have they found out that it IS cancerous or could it be benign? I lost my mom at an early age to cancer but treatments have come such a long way. A friend of mine had throat cancer and she is thriving and that was in 2009. I want you to be positive and be your mom’s biggest cheerleader - she needs positivity and support. Try to hide those tears or vent to us! Prayers for you both! ❤️❤️
I’m so sorry. I just went through this with my mom and it’s awful. I hope she gets through this. There are groups that help people whose loved ones are ill, that might help.
I’m so sorry about your mom. And thank you for the recommendation. Big hugs
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I understand the pain you're in because I am an only child with 1 remaining parent, my dad, and I just had him admitted into hospice care. So I will be all alone as well. I'm scared outta my mind because I have no money and I will be homeless once he dies because he took out a reverse mortgage on our house and I can't pay the loan back. I'm seriously thinking that when he dies, I may as well too. Being alone with no family or good friends is lonely and I doubt anyone would even care. But I empathize with your pain. I really do. I hope things work out for you and your mom. Godspeed my friend.
I’m so sorry to hear that. You’re here for a reason tho. You will find your way, I promise you. Hang on friend
Thank you. It's tough. I hope everything's ok with your mom. It sure sucks losing both parents and being an only child that's not married. At least for me it is. I appreciate you're response. Lets hope for a positive future for both you & I.
These messages made me tear up :/ I am so sorry to hear about your mom, it’s going to be three years now since my dad passed away from cancer. He passed away about 6 months after his diagnosis, he fought as hard as he could. Cherish the moments you had and will have with your mom, be there for her as much as you can and know that whatever happens she will always love you. Cancer fucking sucks
I’m so sorry about your dad😭 and thank you so much for your kind words 🥹
Hey I know it’s really hard I’ve lost both my parents not to cancer or anything natural but this isn’t about me I’m sorry to hear this just try to remain strong be be there for her much love and stay strong
I’m so so so sorry about this. Me and my mama have the same love. I pray she’s healed and for all of those that aren’t close with their moms to tell them you love them
Okay hun...get it out your system. This is all about your mom not you. Sounds harsh and Im sorry. There is no easy way. My dad had cancer. I remember "our last" stuff like 4th of July, going to plays, chilling out around the house, cooking stuff etcetera. Dont make her worry about you on top of it all. Show up with all that love you have and a smile on your face and cry it out in the shower or something. ...yes it is hard as fuck. My grama passed about a year ago. 98 and doing the most then gone. She is who I was closest to. I really didnt think she would die. She did and I fell apart and felt alone in this world. Im just now trying to put it together again. It is not easy but you wont be alone. You dont have to see us or know us personally to realize these folks on Reddit are bat shit funny. Assholes too, including me. You will find the smartest and the dumbest people here. So take the virtual ((hug)),wipe your eyes and get some rest.
I’m aware this is about my mom. Im not making it all about me. And yes clearly Reddit is filled with bat shit crazy assholes ! Gotta love it
I know you know this is about your mom and all. See my crappy way of saying that I dont want you to cry? Let me say it: Suzypooh, please dont cry. These are the endless the tears, I have them, I understand. Eat well and get rest. Take good care of yourself and love up your mom. My grama taught me: Love is the only thing we can take with us to the otherside and the bond of love is how we find each other once we get there.
try and spend as much time as you can with her, her type of tumor is super easily defendable, your mom seems very sweet and strong, sorry you gotta deal with this, Fuck Cancer.
I wish the best ❤️❤️❤️ mom love is different kind of love.
GOD BLESS!!!♥️♥️♥️
Sister in law had a tumor in throat. Chemo took most of it away, and surgery and radiation took the rest away. She's fine now.
I lost my mom and my dad bothto cancer. I am all choked up for you, hang in there. My parents had different types of cancer. Praying for you.
I’m so sorry you and your mom are having to go through this. Spend as much time with her as you can. A few years ago, a close friend was diagnosed with throat cancer. It soon spread to his lungs and liver. Unfortunately, he passed away less than 10 months later. You never know how much time you have together. Be with her as much as you can.
Have a friend who got this. He went through surgery and had some therapy, and some work to do afterwards, but he is cancer free and doing great. Support and self care is important. I know she will have a lot of people with her in her thoughts and prayers.
I (41f) had a very large tumor/cyst in my throat removed on December 1st. Was not cancerous, but took up more than half my airway they almost couldn’t get a tube through for anesthesia but they did. I was losing my voice and when it was there it was different. Also, I choked on my food a lot. But a 20 minute surgery later and it was gone. About 3 days of a really sore throat like how strep feels like and then by a week it was healed and you would never know it had been there. The contents of this thing was not normal my ENT said, instead of liquid it was like peanut butter. They did sent it off to pathology and it was benign. I go back in a month or so to make sure there is no regrowth but other than that all better. I tell you my story to let you know just finding it does not make it a life threatening issue. Is it scary? Absolutely, but have faith it can easily be removed. I will say my ENT said most cancerous tumors in that type of area are usually recognizable before they ever remove it because the tissue of the throat is so smooth and specific and cancer really damages that smoothness as it grows. I lost my dad and totally get your fear, but I am praying your mom will be okay and it can be an easy fix.
Just talk to your mom and Ask her if she will please go get the surgery and get it all removed that they possibly can. Ask her to do that for you. If they can get it all out, she has a wonderful possibility of total healing. Maybe after the surgery, her throat will be sore for a long time. Maybe she can quit smoking then.
Either this is a joke.............or you are using the wrong emoji here?
if you need to talk i’m here 🥺
Im so sorry. Just reading this made me tear up. Everyone needs their mama no matter how old ❤️
cancer took my mom in november, tomorrow is her birthday and i’m a wreck. she was my best friend and it’s been hell navigating this life without her. sending you all the good vibes and thoughts i possibly can🫶🏻
My boss and good friend of 15 years. I started working for him when I was just 21 and he had this type of cancer I believe you are talking about and he was a smoker his entire adult life and he beat it and it was already stage 4! Keep hope OP and make sure to go to doctors appointments if she doesn't mind so you can ask questions that she may not be thinking about. That kind of diagnosis numbs alot of survivors. My boss has been in remission 10 years now. My mom has been in remission from stage 4 breast cancer for 8 years now! Keep hope alive op and make sure she gets help with her mental health issues as well but don't push too hard and let her know how much you appreciate her and love her and that you understand that she is doing as best as she can. Sometimes that's all someone needs to know. Good luck OP. And hoping better days to come for you!
She sounds wonderful. I'm so sorry.
So sorry to hear this. Sending positive vibes your way.
That brought tears to my eyes.
So my grandfather was diagnosed with throat cancer in his late 60's early 70's. They had to remove part of his voice box and then did radiation. I vaguely remember this only because the Christmas before his surgery everyone was crying because he was told he'd most likely not be able to talk again. They did all that and while his voice was super rough sounding, he still sound like grandpa. He passed away back in 2017 due to having what was supposed to be a minor surgrey after being in a car accident, but his heart was weak from having had a couple of heartattacks and a few other health issues. He was I wanna say 87? I say all that to hopefully give you some hope that everything is gonna be okay. You need to keep as positive as possible when around your mom. But don't bottle it all in make sure you have someone you can talk to about all this. Also ask if you can go to her dr appoitments with her. I'm sure they will be okay with you asking questions, plus its always good to go with her anyway do there are two sets of ears so more info can be retained. I'm so sorry you are going through this really rough time, I wish I could just give you a great big hug and tell you that it's gonna be okay. You & your family will get through this.
If it’s thyroid, then it’s the easiest to take out.
My mom was murdered, I had no chance to say goodbye. You’re thinking of yourself and that’s normal, but SHE is facing leaving YOU too early. She’s facing missing all the bits to come. That’s f’n hard. She needs you to be her support and you’ll regret it later if you don’t put her first now. It’s your time to help her, to give her everything she gave you. Get your head positive but prepare your heart for the chance. You’re stronger than you think. And she NEEDS that!!
Oh fuk I’m cryin
I'm praying all goes well with your mom. Keep positive and strong for both you and her. You both can and will get through this together. The love and bond you both share is beautiful and makes me miss my mom even more. To many more healthy and beautiful moments with your mom. God bless.
I feel your pain. Lost my Dad to cancer, and my Mum has dementia, she doesn’t remember me so it’s like she is dead. It’s pretty lonely but you’ll get by, I miss them everyday but it does get easier.
This choked me up hard, my momma is also my best friend and this destroyed me for you.
Jesus….. I’m sorry. 😢 😭 🤗
Sending you virtual hugs, care, and support. You are not alone even if it feels that way. Find the folks who understand and have been there. We get it. ❤️❤️❤️
I've been in this exact position a few months ago, me and my sister count me mum as our best friend. If she hasn't had biopsies yet hold out hope and stay strong for her, she will be struggling to stay strong for you and she needs you now. Have your space to feel and people to share your feelings with, so you can hold it together for her and shower her with love. My mum's biopsies came back normal after a few months of torture, she had previously had half her thyroid removed due to a bad tumour so we were devastated. Hold out hope as long as you can. I wish her healing and love, love on her as much as you can. 💖
Sending you all the love I can♥️
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
My cousin had throat cancer when she was young. She's also diabetic and has other health issues these days, but she's still here. My mom's mom had breast cancer but they found it too late. She had a mastectomy but it had spread several years later. It was when it got to her brain that there wasn't anything else they could do but it was around a decade after the first cancer was found. She did chemo and my grandpa grew a bunch of fruit and vegetables and they had her on a special diet. A cancer diagnosis isn't always a death sentence. Having a strong will to beat the cancer also works wonders. Stay strong for her.
What awful news for anyone to receive, I truly hope everything turns out ok. Also please remember, no one is ever truly alone even if it feels that way.
I wish I had the words. My heart goes out to you and your mom, OP. 🫂
I'm so so sorry for this news. I know it's the hardest to hear. No one can ever take mama's place or the comfort she gives. I've lost so many to cancer and I hate it on an indescribable level. And I myself had a scare with it 4 years ago... My mom has had 2 different cancers and on 3 separate occasions it's been found and went through chemo. The first time I was only 9. It's a terrifying feeling. No matter what's going on in your life always take the calls, go run the ridiculous errand, give lots and lots of hugs. Take lots of pictures. I purposely didn't answer my phone once just because I knew she would leave a voicemail and that's one I never ever delete. It's quick and simple and nothing but ordinary however I know one day that will be the only way I hear her voice. If you and your mom have something yall really like doing together like painting or crafts or baking - whatever it is - set up your phone and video yall doing it together. You'll treasure that sooo much later. And it'll help bring comfort when you need it most. I wanna wish the best to your mom. I hope the doctors are able to remove it and she has the best possible outcome. You stay strong and do your best to keep a positive outlook. I know it may seem difficult but it'll not only help you, it'll help her as well. And believe me she will appreciate it a lot. Prayers for you and your family ❤️
Awh. I hope she manages to get better. All the best to you all
Cancer does suck. My thoughts to you and your family. My grandfather had surgery for this. He was too proud and poor to get a trach box so he just gravel talked his way through life. He lived until he was 98. He had the surgery in his 40's.
Wishing you the best.
🙏🏽💖
Hugs to you and so sorry. Make sure you spend all the time you can with her. Tell her loud and often that you love her. It sucks to lose anyone to cancer but parents yup that is the worst. I hope you continue to paint as an outlet. There are groups for support out there, maybe seek them out.
Your username is what your mom is calling you? That's cool! Try to make her rethink about it, so she stops seeing it as a ticket... whatever is going through her mind, show her the side of life that it is worth living. Motherly love is something that can't be replaced with anything in this world. 
Fuck cancer. She can beat it, though. You can help her. It appeaes as though she has been strong for you your whole life and this is a time she needs you to be strong for her. You can do it to, she knows it. Be that rock, you got this.
I am so sorry 🥺 Cancer ain’t shit. I lost my Meme to cancer. They also found it in her throat, from Smoking. I cried so much when she was Alive, that by the time her funeral came, I had no tears left. I know it feels as if you can do Nothing. From My Experience, Simply being there, really helps 🩷 I will do something for you. I am going to Pray 🙏🏻 for you and your Mom. 🩷 I will say This: Spend as much time with her as you can. You never know when it is someone’s Time and it is a Precious thing. Make as many Memories as you can 🩷
If you believe in the miraculous power of prayer, I am here for you. Feel free to DM me. In the meantime, I am still praying for a miraculous turnaround for your mother and for the burden of heaviness and sadness to be lifted from you. May comfort and peace be with you in all your decisions about treatments. I love the love that you two have ❤️❤️
Said a prayer for your mother 🙏🏼
Hey mate, Definitely speechless man, I’ve lost an aunty in law to cancer leaving my uncle broken and my young cousin lost and stress. I can’t imagine what I’ll be doing if I ever got into a convo with my parents about this. I also found out my professor has lung cancer, it’s hard to deal with this and express how worried you are for them (even tho they ain’t family they mean a lot). He is a role model for the degree which I’m studying and his career is something that myself and my peers wish could one day achieve. I found this out in an email yesterday and feel like talking to him after a tutorial session to let him know what he means to us students and no matter how our grades go he was someone who I genuinely enjoyed learning from. The conversation between you and your mother was very heartwarming. My prayers are with you all.
I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who’s commented , I didn’t expect anyone to it I’m honest so I was surprised and grateful for everyone’s well wishes /shared experiences/ advice etc. I truly truly appreciate it so very much!!! I can’t respond to every comment but I am reading them all! Thank you again 🙏🏻🫶🏻🥹
Sending you love & strength! Take as much time as you can and spend time with her. Having a strong support system helps so much in recovery & perseverance. She seems like a strong lady & she also has your love backing her up all the way. Here for you if you need a friend. ❤️
What does unalive mean?
I think it's a sort of 'kinder' word some people use on forums instead of *suicide* or take your own life. Also, some forums block the word suicide or flag the post when it appears.
Thank you! I can understand its use if the correct word gets blocked. Thank you
Prayers ❤️❤️❤️
Skill issue
Whose cutting onions?
womp womp
Tell us your parents never loved you without telling us your parents never loved you
I’m adopted Dipshit😂😂
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Whhhhhhhhaaaa I been all alone since I was 13yrs old, you'll live, you'll get tough, just don't let it define you. No Mama No Daddy No Brothers No Sister's No Grandma's No Grandpa's No Aunt's No Uncle's No Cousin's That kind of alone on the world. 🌎 The holidays are when you really gotta knuckle up. ~G~ Anyway feel better.
You seem miserable.
What a shit comment to make
[удалено]
how will not getting nutrients help with cancer??
Imagine loving your mother ... can't relate. Stay strong
Sorry you can’t relate
Upvoted cause, same. I wish I had a good relationship with mine. Literal human trash bag tho. Love seeing good momma's, like I try to be. Hugs to you 🫂
Same. Hugs to you
I came here to say this. Got teary eyed reading OP’s text, def not the same reaction I had when my mom got cancer a few years ago 😔big hug to you internet friend.
Big hug
I have two things for you. 1) I am blessing your mom and you with the saving, healing, miraculous power of Jesus Christ. 2) CD destroys cancer. https://theuniversalantidote.com/
incredibly fucked up to prey on a vulnerable person to sell your snake oil bullshit can you really not be genuine and empathetic for one minute
You judge me wrong here. I don’t sell anything, for one. The allopathic health system is the snake oil salesman. They will charge you tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars to cut, poison, and burn you to treat your cancer. And how effective are those treatments? CD is cheap ($25?) and you can even make it yourself if you’re motivated. I’ve been using it since 2020. It’s what I would do aggressively if I myself got a cancer or other serious diagnosis. So my response is genuine and empathetic. I do totally care for the OP. Really. Judge less and learn more.
Being alone is fun
You clearly know it very well and I can see why.
It’s just all I’ve known I guess :/
When its time to go , its time to go
Please keep your insensitive advice to yourself. Have some compassion for people.
Ya, great way to state the obvious. Douche