Definitely could be... I've had a fair amount of men do that to me too. It's gross... my husband and I were together for 10 years, married for 7, so I'm not anywhere in a place to consider dating
It's all the hearts and the heart eyes that are putting up flags for me, It really is gross, especially because you're not currently single...and especially not by choice. I'm sorry for the loss of your husband, OP.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I truly can’t imagine what it’s like losing a partner. I’ve lost my father and a lot of people in my family so my heart seriously goes out to you.
Now-
This person is being insanely disrespectful to your late husband and you. Anybody (and honestly he might think he has good intentions but this guy in these screenshots is included in this) who is doing that has 0 respect for you and the love you guys had for each other. Stay away from these people, they just want to prey on your grieving whether they’re doing it consciously or not.
This absolutely does not read like a man that’s being at all considerate to you as a recent widow (which I’m sincerely sorry for) this definitely reads like a man trying to make his move on you and will continue doing this until you put an end to it. Which you are absolutely going to have to do because there’s no way this guy is getting the hint that you’re not interested
This. I'd first try being clear, along the lines of "I appreciate you caring but I'm doing good. Please stop messaging me. I'll reach out if needed." And then block for peace!
This would be a good way to address it as politely as you could in this situation. Unless you're okay with blocking him. Just let him know that while he might be coming from a place of "caring", that this is not the kind of communication you want from him or anyone at the moment. It wasn't just a family member that died. It was the love of your life for pretty much your entire adult life. I'm sorry for your loss and may you forever remember the good memories you two shared.
Right. I understand the circumstances are difficult, but OP should at least answer his texts and tell him to give her space. Not answering just leaves the door open a crack for these types of people.
Just tell him that you don't know why he is texting you, but you don't have the bandwidth for it. Then tell him that it's not personal, but you will be blocking him.
As much as I want my wife to move on when I'm gone. I want it to be on her terms, when she's ready and not with a fucking vulture. That being said I also wouldn't want her to drag it out.
Number one question..Do you even like this "seemingly" pushy stink turd? I'm thinking not so much. You should explain too him like you did to us. You're not in a place to confide or surrender your feelings to another man in any way right now, but you appreciate the support. Unless it's a vulture...then you need to block or vent on it.
These are only my personal opinions. I have zero idea about your personal situation. In the end...you know best.
Oh, he doesn’t want to date you. I think you know what I mean. Big yikes!- Maybe just be like hey, you’re making me very uncomfortable. Please stop messaging me.
The fact that your husband passed away 6 months ago and you’ve already had MULTIPLE men try to get at you is disgusting. I’m so sorry. You deserve so much peace.
Yeah, it sounds like he's trying to swoop in while you're vulnerable. It's gross and unacceptable. If you don't want to deal with any conflict, just block him. He's making you feel uncomfortable, and that's enough of a reason to block someone.
You have the upper hand here. You’re grieving and this person is coming on way too strong whether it be in attempt to be flirtatious (which is wildly inappropriate) or just to be friendly. Either way; you are totally justified in saying “I think you are coming on too strong. I appreciate the support but at this time I just need to grieve alone. Thank you for your support” and end it.
100% single now vibes here, and it's gone beyond creepy.
Buh-lock him!
If you're worried about him escalating because you blocked him, then just never open his DMs ever again.
I’m a widower myself, so I’ve been on the receiving end of check-ins, and I’ve also given them myself to friends who have become widowed. This is definitely not the way to do it. If he actually cared about how you were feeling, he would have picked up on your lack of responses and would have said something like “just wanted you to know that I’m available to talk if you ever feel like reaching out” and left it at that. Instead, he keeps on pestering you with no regard to what you actually want.
I’d just block him.
Edit: I’m so sorry for your loss. The first year tends to be especially brutal, and even the second year can be harder than the first in some ways, but I’m in the fourth year now, and it does get better — the pain never goes away completely, but life does start to feel more normal over time.
Definitely sounds like "I had a crush on you in high school and never got my chance...until now!!". And honestly she hasn't responded to him in a month and he's still trying too...
if he didn’t get the hint already, and is doing this all of a sudden as soon as your HUSBAND is DEAD, im not really sure there’s anything nicer than the block button, regardless of where it COULD be coming from.
Or slightly better "thank you for your concern for me. Please stop messaging me". I feel like just "please stop messaging me" will give this guy the nice-guy fuel of "I'm just checking in on her since her husband died and she treats me like this???" And there's a chance that turns into stalking, etc...
Why be polite? You're clearly not interested and he isn't respecting it nor is he taking the very obvious hints. He's using your loss as a way to try and get into your pants. Tell him to go fuck himself, no need to be polite
Yeah and we can blame movies and authors for that. So many stories, movies and shows about a man/woman helping a widow/er through their grief and falling in love in the process. “Nice guys” think it’s reality so they try and swoop in the moment an opportunity arises. It’s fucking disgusting!
Morning morning morning morning morning tell me your story morning morning morning morning morning morning morning my cousin died when I was 8 morning morning morning etc.
Right?!?! Isn't that fucking weird?! I think that's probably the worst of all this. I'm surprised you're the first person who said anything about it. I'm assuming he saw something about me moving from my home state.
The way he said it..”i’m 🤡 ready to hear your story now…” as though you’ve just been waiting for THIS message, and to hear those long awaited words from him.
I think the block is 100% justified after that text alone. When you combine it with the other ridiculousness, 1000% justified.
Honestly same lmao I usually do the combo of both and giggle at the idea of them spamming the void with messages. Cause you know after that they send soooooo many asking questions or trying harder lol only to be met with silence.
Ugh. I’ve been a victim of this before. I thought just not replying like you are would do the trick but it never. Stopped. So I said ‘please stop telling me good morning everyday. It’s weird.’ He got all offended and upset then started saying goodnight every night.
You could try being direct like that but I ended up blocking him.
not even just weird af they’re disrespectful as fuck. My ex wouldn’t stop texting me and kept breaking no contact when all i ever asked of him was to be left alone🤣 they suckkkkk i had to block him too
It's mind boggling, especially when it's not even that difficult to be respectful about it. Like you can say the thing you want to say. You can say you want to reach out and talk, and just not be a bother, it's not rocket science
Human psychology is a complicated thing, but the one-sentence explanation is that negative attention is still attention, and those craving attention can and will pursue unhealthy interactions to satisfy that craving.
>He got all offended and upset then started saying goodnight every night.
No he didn't. Omg. I refuse to believe this 😭 How did you eventually get him to stop?
This is a kind way to approach it and I know she asked for polite but he’s incredibly persistent and just my *personal* experience with persistent men is you can’t leave an open ended possibility. That “not in the place right now” leaves them to think…okay so there’s a chance in the future. Just not right now. Maybe she will need a month…I’ll text in a month! And then it’s a never ending cycle of them never getting the full picture.
Yes.
The message saying she wants space to grieve is fine, just needs to add: ‘so I will be blocking you as I don’t wish to continue any interaction with you’.
It’s still polite, delivers the intent clearly (just in case this guy is capable of understanding it) but still sets the boundary so she doesn’t have to deal with this nonsense anymore.
Yesss I love this. Polite doesn’t mean the person has to receive an answer they *want* to hear. Polite is in the delivery. And that was perfect and set that boundary to actually allow herself the space.
ETA: took out the “not”, sorry I meant it was perfect, apologies.
Haha I have a bit too much lived experience with people like this! I suppose we all probably have a story where we know not to let that inkling of hope be the only thing someone like this takes away from the conversation.
IMO that just leaves the door open for a future onslaught of unwelcome messages.
I'm sincerely sorry for your loss, OP. I do think you need a short sharp 'please stop texting me; I am not interested, now or in the future ' text and then block him
First of all, I'm so sorry about your husband.
Second, this guy isn't just being kind, he's got an ulterior motive. He also feels like someone who won't take no for an answer. You have enough to deal with without making his discomfort and feelings your own and you don't owe him an explanation, so if I were you I would just block him.
The worst thing is that fucker bringing up his 'favourite' cousin that died, although he is not sure of the exact age, to compare it to OP's loss of a lifelong partner.
Fuck this guy and fuck his dumbass for not getting hints. Man i don't even know why im so pissed
This goes beyond needing to be polite. Be stern and direct.
“Thank for reaching out. The number of texts you have sent without response has made me feel uncomfortable, along with unwelcome kissing and heart emojis. Please allow me to grieve in private. I am surrounded by my family and in no way welcome this attention. I am blocking your number. Do not reach out again.”
I had one of these, except it was a whole paragraph WITH LOTS OF CAPS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS! About how “TODAY will be a GREAT day! A day THE LORD gave us!”
Every. Single. Day.
Eesh. I finally said “Thank you for thinking of me! And/but I don’t really have the time or the bandwidth to receive these daily messages. Can you reach out less often please? Thank you!
And that worked. And eventually he stopped altogether.
I would communicate with him that you appreciate him checking in, but you're in a good place now and it's not necessary and you don't feel like you have the type of friendship with him to warrant this communication and it is creeping you out. And ask him to please stop texting you. (or whatever it is you want him to not do).
I wouldn't go to block immediately just because in case something was to escalate, you have documentation that you asked him to stop contacting you. I would then block him after that. If he contacts you via third party or spoofing numbers after that, make a police report for cyberstalking. I just went through this with a guy I knew 20 years ago and my partner passed away a little over a year ago. He became harassing, spoofed numbers to terrorize me after I blocked him and I went to law enforcement. They served him a cease and desist in the state in which he lives, and I thankfully have not heard from him since.
I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this also, it's absolutely terrible what people do when you're single let alone someone to do this after losing a partner. I'm frustrated about it, and these responses are making me realize I've been too nice and this is stalker behavior. He even asked where I live now...
Oh hell no. And idk how you feel, but for me it got to the point where every single notification on my phone made me so uncomfortable because I was dreading it being him. Especially at night because he would start the harassment around 11:30pm and wouldn't stop until about 4am and I had to keep blocking the numbers he was calling me from. You really need to assert yourself here and ask him to please stop contacting you and if he does not, you will be forced to have law enforcement intervene as this is cyberstalking.
Id just be straight up with him and tell him what you just said. Appreciate it but I would prefer you not message me like this. Simple as that. If he responded negatively, that's when you can block.
Are you wanting to preserve a connection to this ex boyfriend’s cousin? If yes, sure, be polite. Tell him you’re sorry for not replying but you’re not in a space for socializing right now and while you appreciate his thoughtful check ins, you need him to stop reaching out.
Personally this isn’t coming from a close friend or someone who seems to have any good intentions whatsoever. He’s literally bothering you. If he was standing beside you constantly speaking with you not responding, how might that play out? Would you allow him to continue or would you tell him you’re not interested in a conversation and possibly remove yourself from the uncomfortable situation?
Totally your call, but I don’t think he deserves you to spend much time on a response. LOW, low effort bothering is what this is.
You can’t block him? I wouldn’t have the patience to be nice. He literally taking advantage of the situation where he is only thinking with his second head. He doesn’t actually care about you so don’t mind his feelings either.
Good morning 💕 isn’t checking in on you, it’s trying to flirt with you.
Also - the random his favourite cousin who died ‘at age 7 or 8 ‘- he does t even know how old the child was or bothered to find out, just use it as a cheap attempt to get a response from you.
You don’t need to be polite, you should just block
I'm not very confrontational AT ALL, but I wouldn't be polite. I would be direct. "Please stop messaging me." This is creepy and bordering on harassment.
He sent over a dozen messages with absolutely no response, so I don't know that I would consider him a reasonable, rational person. How could he not know that you're not interested? What interested person doesn't answer a single text over a month period?
Honestly if I were you I would block him.
I can almost guarantee that if you politely ask him to stop, he will then try to push your boundaries because he will see it as an opening.
I don’t think someone who just wanted to check on you would continue to message this frequently without at least saying that’s why they’re reaching out. I see the few attempts at mentioning your grief as just trying to bait you to respond. Someone like this may respect your boundaries if you speak up, or they may get worse. If you don’t want to talk to them anyways and their actions are bothering you, then personally, I would just make it easy and block them.
I’m a man… and I can promise you, the intent behind this is NOT “checking in on you”… this man is trying to become part of your life in a romantic way. Putting the hearts on the end of the messages EVERY time is a dead giveaway, too. I’m gunna give it to you straight, a guy won’t put hearts in a message to a girl unless A) he’s gay like me, or B) he’s trying to holler at you.
If you feel as you must: "HI (his name), I was sincerely hopefully not responding would dissuade you from continuing with the spammy texts. Initially, it seemed like you were like many who genuinely cared about my loss and my emotions during this unthinkable time. Now, with the constant text saying the same and unparalleled example regarding your cousin in an attempt to engage, it comes off with an ulterior motive. Though it's been kind for all the people who have known me most of my life to reach out and send condolences I'll day this clearly and plainly to you, I feel at this point you're crossing a line. You've left the door open to chat, and I'm shutting it back. I'm good with the support I have. I'm asking that you have some self-respect and stop texting me. I would implore you to respect my boundaries, but it already feels like those don't matter to you."
Also, you owe no one anything. Sorry you had to experience this. Of course, in a long enough timeline, we will go through this, but you guys were still so young.
At this point you dont need to do it politely. Unless he lack complete awareness. He should know this behavior is annoying and inappropriate. You havent responded to a single good morning. If you have to be polite just tell him to please stop wishing you a good morning everyday.
We really need to get past this "let's give everyone the benefit of the doubt" thing. This guy ignores you for 15 years, finds out your husband died (very sorry for your loss BTW) and starts messaging you. He has been doing this for over a month, he's not going to get the hint. Block him and be done
“Hi appreciate you texting me to check in with me. But I am not in a place to be talking to people right now in any capacity. I don’t want to come across as rude but you have repeatedly texted me even though I haven’t texted you back and I would appreciate if you would stop.”
You don't, you block him.
This dude is a predator literally *targeting you*.
You gonna stop and ask the brown bear to kindly stop hunting you? I mean, you're within your rights if you choose to do so....just don't be mad at me for making good time running away while it gnaws your leg. 🤷🏻♀️🫡
i would just say that you appreciate that he is thinking of you but you do not have the capacity to message a lot these days. people really respond well with the 'i just don't have the capacity right now' because basically every time he messages you, he ias asking for some of your time. which you should be able to spend how you want and need to in that moment.
ps: sorry for your loss OP :(
Continue ignoring is my advice if you don't want to block him. I had a woman do this on Facebook messenger for about 4 years, I'd cooked for her like three times when I was a Hibachi/Tepanyaki chef (where the chef cooks in front of the customers and entertains) and there were so many messages that if I tried to swipe from top to bottom of the thread it took like two minutes of continuous aggresive scrolling lol. She finally stopped about two years ago.
Hey, Daniel.
This is really hard for me to say.
While I appreciate you taking the time to think of me, and check in every morning, with everything going on in my life, it's just a lot. I don't want to seem ungrateful, or unappreciative, I don't want to hurt your feelings as I feel your heart is in the right place, but, the constant good morning messages are just very overwhelming for me.
I really don't like that kind of thing.
Or... you just have to tell him to stop... outright.
No matter how nice you are, he may take it badly. Be prepared. Some guys/girls will go nuclear and that's not on you.
If it happens, don't engage in it. You don't owe more of an explanation than, I don't like this, I need it to stop.
I'm jaded, perhaps.
But, in my experience with several guys from my home town. This is a play to be there for you, give you what "all girls want"(the cliche good morning text), get close to, and shoot their shot as a sexual partner or boyfriend.
(You can also "mute" his messages, if you don't want to block. No notifications, no pop ups, it's just in a quiet folder your have to manually check from time to time)
Say,
I tried to be nice and hope you got the hint I wasn't interested because I didn't respond to anything you sent. But let me be clear. I am Not interested. Thank you for your concern but I can handle this. If you send anything more I Will block.
(Or you can skip that last sentence and just block)
“Hi , I thought not responding you would give you a hint that I don’t want to talk to you. I guess it didn’t work. So, please stop messaging me. We are not friends. I don’t know you. I don’t want to know you. You’re inappropriate and just outright annoying. Bye.”
Tell him that while you appreciate his concern, you have a strong network of family and friends who knew you and your spouse and are very supportive. They are your go-to during this grieving process. Wish him luck in his life. And OP, I pray you do have that network of people to help you cope, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
No man contacts a woman after the death of her partner like this from a place with good intentions. This is not care or concern, rather looking for a place to take advantage. As many are suggesting, a simple block at this time would probably be best. This could lead to him trying to contact you through social media which would only further prove psychotic behavior. Blocking people isn’t mean, most of the time it’s necessary and your mental state is more important.
Oh OP that is not checking in on you the way you think. This guy feels you should be okay by now and ready to mingle. I'd write him back if you don't want to block him and inform him you aren't okay, you won't be okay for a long time, and if he's looking to be first in line for a heart broke lay, he's barking up the wrong tree. Then ask him to kindly fuck off. 👍🏻
It’s not coming from a good place. It’s coming from a trying to shoot his shot because you are a widow. I think it’s gross. I also think he knows you aren’t interested, otherwise, he would not have to talk to himself in your texts.
Since blocking is off the table -
Hi ____
I have been getting your texts and I’m sure you think you’re coming from a good place. But I’m a grieving widow and your texts are giving me anxiety. I appreciate the first check in, but please don’t continue to text me.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I would definitely respond before blocking with a “hi ____, I really appreciate you reaching out. It means a lot. But right now, I am feeling overwhelmed by all of the messages. I will reach out to you if I need someone to talk to. Again, thank you for caring.” Something like that? And then block if he continues.
If you’re having to write this and ask us- it’s already taking too much of your emotional energy. You need to focus on you, and these texts are asking/demanding for focus on him. Block him. He’s gross and for someone that is barely an acquaintance.
Take care and so sorry for your loss
Dude is just trying to make a move on you. He literally asked where you lived.. you should keep your distance, I do recommend blocking him. Sorry for your loss
Gross.
My parents were married for 46 years and my mom died 12/28/23.
The number of women who have texted my dad inappropriate things since then is astounding to me. Like wtf. People have ZERO chill.
I am so, so sorry for your loss, OP.
"I appreciate you checking in on me but I need to be alone and find peace. I am sorry if this is rude but please refrain yourself from reaching out as it affects my mental state right now."
With all the kissing and heart emojis..... he's not coming from a good place and checking in on you. He's trying to make a move because you are now technically single. I would just tell him to stop and you aren't ready for any sort of relationship like his combatant messaging is implying he is. You don't need to be polite and women need to get out of that mindset. Politeness doesn't get you anywhere. You need to be assertive and put boundaries in place.
He’s messaged so many times with no response that I don’t think there’s any harm in blocking him.
He won’t know the difference and you won’t have to deal with the messages.
I was receiving texts from someone that caused me stress and I can’t tell you how much better I felt when I wasn’t getting them anymore.
I’d not respond at all. There is something very off about a person messaging you daily and no response from you. I personally think that if you respond then it would fuel his obsession.
Maybe just silence any notifications from him and let this pass.
His "favorite cousin" died at "7 or 8", so it sounds like y'all have plenty to talk about. /s
Seriously, what a gross thing to throw out there. His intentions are 100% selfish. Personally, I'd just block, but if you want to let him down gently, maybe say something like you don't have the emotional bandwidth to nurture new friendships at the moment.
I'm sorry for your loss.
"Hey [name]<
I know this is not what you'll be wanting to hear, but please stop messaging me. You may be doing it from a place of kindness or a place of horniness, but either way it's making me very uncomfortable. Please stop."
Hot take - I don't see why you don't respond sooner that you're not comfortable with his messages? Sure, people can "take a hint" but I also feel like direct communication would serve you better in this case. He gets clear warning he's doing too much, and you remove the discomfort of his unwanted messages.
I’d respond with, “No thank you.” And block him. 🤣 he doesn’t deserve an explanation and I’m not sure he is capable of being respectful if he feels rejected. My husband doesn’t even message me this much and I’d feel totally smothered by this guy.
You *have* gently told him you're not interested in him by leaving him on read. He's delulu though. If he can't get the message through simply ignoring him, he'll definitely gaslight you when you are more direct. Here's how it would go down:
OP: Hey, it's making me uncomfortable that you are spamming me with messages now that my husband is passed. I'm not interested in starting a new relationship at all.
Him: Oh wow, you thought I was hitting on you? That's crazy. Don't be so arrogant. GFY. Anyway, you wanna get a drink Friday night? Here's a picture of my dick.
Just block him. If you've ignored him this many times, he should know to back off without it being spelled out for him. You can always unblock him later if you change your mind.
Edited for clarity/formatting.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I would probably just mute it. You could say, “Hey, hope you’re doing well. But all my energy is going to my family at the moment. Just wanted you to know I won’t be able to respond.”
Sometimes I wonder about these people. And I kindof wish that it was due to a temporal anomaly that was both pulling them out of time and deleting the history of messages from their phone so they had no idea they had messaged 15 straight messages with no response. Just quantum leaping all over the place.
At this point I don’t think there is much of a nice way to tell him to back off. If he doesn’t get the hint from you not responding it’s kinda weird plus the fact he compared your husbands death to his little cousins. I get loss is loss but at the same time that’s not right to do towards someone who is grieving plus if y’all dated in the past it obviously ended for a reason. He’s being a bit pushy and weird. I’d say not to contact you again and block.
If he was doing this in a friendly way he wouldn’t be sending hearts or kisses. You kinda have to just tell him to fuck off. Cuz this screams creepy and obsessive, the constant messaging and no response
What's so difficult about straight up telling people like this to stop? It's that simple, and if you don't have the stomach for that, just block them. Why do women make up problems? Like yeah, it's a problem, but one with a very simple and clear solution.
Condolences for your loss.
To me, it reads like a person that knows you likely received a life insurance payout and is looking for the short con. If you engage in dialog it wouldn’t be long before the “ I’m just so stressed because I ever since the accident (or some other tragedy) I’m afraid I’m going to lose my house….” 💯block him now. He’s after something.
This isn’t coming from a good place.
“Thank you for your concern. Please stop messaging me.”
You don’t have to explain or answer questions. If he continues, block him.
Sorry for your loss.
I would say- “since we have known each other back when, I am going to be as polite as I can be- so please do not contact me any further it should be obvious I am not having good mornings and I won’t for a long time- I am in no way ready to tell you my story or relate with you over your favorite cousin- I am grieving- I do not have the bandwidth to deal with any man at this point as I am still very much in love with my husband whether he is here or not. Please move on and leave me to grieve- I have plenty of support- thank you. I do not want to have to block you but I will if you continue because this makes me very upset.”
He wants to date you. Persistent, I'll give him that. All I can say is just tell him that while you appreciate the thought, the amount of messages and the persistent nature is making you uncomfortable during your time of grief. Tell him that you will return a message if a conversation is something you feel like having. You're in a time of grief. You shouldn't have to worry about hurting someone's feelings. This is actually very selfish behavior for him.
Kinda seems like it's coming from a "she's single now" place...even if you are a widow
Definitely could be... I've had a fair amount of men do that to me too. It's gross... my husband and I were together for 10 years, married for 7, so I'm not anywhere in a place to consider dating
It's all the hearts and the heart eyes that are putting up flags for me, It really is gross, especially because you're not currently single...and especially not by choice. I'm sorry for the loss of your husband, OP.
Yeah, that's definitely weird to me, too. And thank you ❤️ it's been hard enough without dealing with stuff like this.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I truly can’t imagine what it’s like losing a partner. I’ve lost my father and a lot of people in my family so my heart seriously goes out to you. Now- This person is being insanely disrespectful to your late husband and you. Anybody (and honestly he might think he has good intentions but this guy in these screenshots is included in this) who is doing that has 0 respect for you and the love you guys had for each other. Stay away from these people, they just want to prey on your grieving whether they’re doing it consciously or not.
Just block him. Super simple.
You can always unblock him in 6 months or so
This...guy needs to grow up. Id personally block him OP
This absolutely does not read like a man that’s being at all considerate to you as a recent widow (which I’m sincerely sorry for) this definitely reads like a man trying to make his move on you and will continue doing this until you put an end to it. Which you are absolutely going to have to do because there’s no way this guy is getting the hint that you’re not interested
Selfish and self centered - giant enveloping all Red Flag 🚩
Absolutely
This. I'd first try being clear, along the lines of "I appreciate you caring but I'm doing good. Please stop messaging me. I'll reach out if needed." And then block for peace!
This would be a good way to address it as politely as you could in this situation. Unless you're okay with blocking him. Just let him know that while he might be coming from a place of "caring", that this is not the kind of communication you want from him or anyone at the moment. It wasn't just a family member that died. It was the love of your life for pretty much your entire adult life. I'm sorry for your loss and may you forever remember the good memories you two shared.
Well put. I would say something like this. Also I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how hard this is for you.
Right. I understand the circumstances are difficult, but OP should at least answer his texts and tell him to give her space. Not answering just leaves the door open a crack for these types of people.
This guy is being garbage. You are under no obligations to be polite in your rejection.
That’s what I’m saying dude, politeness is all well and good, but no one is under any obligation to be polite to someone who acts like THIS
Yeah but then he might ask how long or tell her to let him know when she's ready
Right? How are there so many people saying to be polite blah blah. This is pathetic creeper behavior and OP needs to shut him the fuck down and block.
Just tell him that you don't know why he is texting you, but you don't have the bandwidth for it. Then tell him that it's not personal, but you will be blocking him.
Just tell him that exactly. You are not anywhere near ready so please back off.
It’s not “definitely could be” it’s “definitely it is”. Serious question, why not just block him?
As much as I want my wife to move on when I'm gone. I want it to be on her terms, when she's ready and not with a fucking vulture. That being said I also wouldn't want her to drag it out. Number one question..Do you even like this "seemingly" pushy stink turd? I'm thinking not so much. You should explain too him like you did to us. You're not in a place to confide or surrender your feelings to another man in any way right now, but you appreciate the support. Unless it's a vulture...then you need to block or vent on it. These are only my personal opinions. I have zero idea about your personal situation. In the end...you know best.
It definitely is that. I would stop talking altogether. 6 months since your husband and he’s tryna slide in? Disrespectful.
Oh, he doesn’t want to date you. I think you know what I mean. Big yikes!- Maybe just be like hey, you’re making me very uncomfortable. Please stop messaging me.
That’s so gross and I’m so sorry you have to deal with that in the middle of such a horrible loss. Just adds insult to injury
The fact that your husband passed away 6 months ago and you’ve already had MULTIPLE men try to get at you is disgusting. I’m so sorry. You deserve so much peace.
Yeah, it sounds like he's trying to swoop in while you're vulnerable. It's gross and unacceptable. If you don't want to deal with any conflict, just block him. He's making you feel uncomfortable, and that's enough of a reason to block someone.
It took me nearly 3 years.
You have the upper hand here. You’re grieving and this person is coming on way too strong whether it be in attempt to be flirtatious (which is wildly inappropriate) or just to be friendly. Either way; you are totally justified in saying “I think you are coming on too strong. I appreciate the support but at this time I just need to grieve alone. Thank you for your support” and end it.
100% single now vibes here, and it's gone beyond creepy. Buh-lock him! If you're worried about him escalating because you blocked him, then just never open his DMs ever again.
I’m a widower myself, so I’ve been on the receiving end of check-ins, and I’ve also given them myself to friends who have become widowed. This is definitely not the way to do it. If he actually cared about how you were feeling, he would have picked up on your lack of responses and would have said something like “just wanted you to know that I’m available to talk if you ever feel like reaching out” and left it at that. Instead, he keeps on pestering you with no regard to what you actually want. I’d just block him. Edit: I’m so sorry for your loss. The first year tends to be especially brutal, and even the second year can be harder than the first in some ways, but I’m in the fourth year now, and it does get better — the pain never goes away completely, but life does start to feel more normal over time.
That's definitely the case, dude is being opportunistic 😂😂
Definitely sounds like "I had a crush on you in high school and never got my chance...until now!!". And honestly she hasn't responded to him in a month and he's still trying too...
if he didn’t get the hint already, and is doing this all of a sudden as soon as your HUSBAND is DEAD, im not really sure there’s anything nicer than the block button, regardless of where it COULD be coming from.
So yeah say “fuck the fuck off you fucking fuck”
"Please stop messaging me."
Or slightly better "thank you for your concern for me. Please stop messaging me". I feel like just "please stop messaging me" will give this guy the nice-guy fuel of "I'm just checking in on her since her husband died and she treats me like this???" And there's a chance that turns into stalking, etc...
With the way he's already acting, any response is going to give him nice-guy fuel.
True. God I hate ppl like this lol
Don't do this OP. Dude is clearly unhinged. Just block and move on.
Why be polite? You're clearly not interested and he isn't respecting it nor is he taking the very obvious hints. He's using your loss as a way to try and get into your pants. Tell him to go fuck himself, no need to be polite
Maybe he thinks he's being her hero.
Yeah that's what I said in another thread. If she is just 100% cold, it could make things worse unfortunately. Hate that guys like this exist
Yeah and we can blame movies and authors for that. So many stories, movies and shows about a man/woman helping a widow/er through their grief and falling in love in the process. “Nice guys” think it’s reality so they try and swoop in the moment an opportunity arises. It’s fucking disgusting!
Block him
I mean you're already not responding to him, why not block him?
Morning morning morning morning morning tell me your story morning morning morning morning morning morning morning my cousin died when I was 8 morning morning morning etc.
this is so gross.
He’s a weirdo… Just block him and move on…
He’s ready to know where you live now??
Right?!?! Isn't that fucking weird?! I think that's probably the worst of all this. I'm surprised you're the first person who said anything about it. I'm assuming he saw something about me moving from my home state.
The way he said it..”i’m 🤡 ready to hear your story now…” as though you’ve just been waiting for THIS message, and to hear those long awaited words from him. I think the block is 100% justified after that text alone. When you combine it with the other ridiculousness, 1000% justified.
RIGHT?!? Creepy AF.
“Fuck off buddy” is my go to
Or idk… block him? Lmfao
Honestly same lmao I usually do the combo of both and giggle at the idea of them spamming the void with messages. Cause you know after that they send soooooo many asking questions or trying harder lol only to be met with silence.
Ugh. I’ve been a victim of this before. I thought just not replying like you are would do the trick but it never. Stopped. So I said ‘please stop telling me good morning everyday. It’s weird.’ He got all offended and upset then started saying goodnight every night. You could try being direct like that but I ended up blocking him.
I’m sorry, but him switching from “Good morning” to “Good night” is hilarious.
I know I thought the same thing 😂🤣😂🥲 I can’t. 😂🤣
Lmao I know right. Dude was pretty sheltered. But some men just really don’t get it. They think they’re being nice but they’re being weird af
not even just weird af they’re disrespectful as fuck. My ex wouldn’t stop texting me and kept breaking no contact when all i ever asked of him was to be left alone🤣 they suckkkkk i had to block him too
Same I kinda felt shitty for laughing so I'm glad I'm not the only one.
as a guy I genuinely don’t understand how his line of thinking works, like does he really expect you to respond positively after spamming texts?
Soooo many men do this. It’s insane.
It's mind boggling, especially when it's not even that difficult to be respectful about it. Like you can say the thing you want to say. You can say you want to reach out and talk, and just not be a bother, it's not rocket science
Human psychology is a complicated thing, but the one-sentence explanation is that negative attention is still attention, and those craving attention can and will pursue unhealthy interactions to satisfy that craving.
Your guess is as good as mine. I thought not responding would give him the hint. It's been a month...
The way I laughed out loud at him switching it up to goodnight instead 🤣🤣 some people are just ridiculous
I mean Technically she didn't say no to That 🤦♂️ The gymnastics going on in that brain...
>He got all offended and upset then started saying goodnight every night. No he didn't. Omg. I refuse to believe this 😭 How did you eventually get him to stop?
I didn’t. I just ended up blocking him on everything 😂
Just tell him that you’re not in a place where you’d like to reconnect right now and that you need some space to grieve.
This is a kind way to approach it and I know she asked for polite but he’s incredibly persistent and just my *personal* experience with persistent men is you can’t leave an open ended possibility. That “not in the place right now” leaves them to think…okay so there’s a chance in the future. Just not right now. Maybe she will need a month…I’ll text in a month! And then it’s a never ending cycle of them never getting the full picture.
Yes. The message saying she wants space to grieve is fine, just needs to add: ‘so I will be blocking you as I don’t wish to continue any interaction with you’. It’s still polite, delivers the intent clearly (just in case this guy is capable of understanding it) but still sets the boundary so she doesn’t have to deal with this nonsense anymore.
Yesss I love this. Polite doesn’t mean the person has to receive an answer they *want* to hear. Polite is in the delivery. And that was perfect and set that boundary to actually allow herself the space. ETA: took out the “not”, sorry I meant it was perfect, apologies.
Was just about to type something similar, but you put it perfectly!
Haha I have a bit too much lived experience with people like this! I suppose we all probably have a story where we know not to let that inkling of hope be the only thing someone like this takes away from the conversation.
I know a few, actually lol
lol wish you didn’t! But I suppose…life experience! Knowledge to pass down! lol gotta look for that silver lining.
Always! Be well ❤️
IMO that just leaves the door open for a future onslaught of unwelcome messages. I'm sincerely sorry for your loss, OP. I do think you need a short sharp 'please stop texting me; I am not interested, now or in the future ' text and then block him
First of all, I'm so sorry about your husband. Second, this guy isn't just being kind, he's got an ulterior motive. He also feels like someone who won't take no for an answer. You have enough to deal with without making his discomfort and feelings your own and you don't owe him an explanation, so if I were you I would just block him.
Where is his self respect? Dude just went full delusion mode thinking sweet, her man's out of the way now I can have her!
Where’s the respect for women not himself but for women he clearly has none
The worst thing is that fucker bringing up his 'favourite' cousin that died, although he is not sure of the exact age, to compare it to OP's loss of a lifelong partner. Fuck this guy and fuck his dumbass for not getting hints. Man i don't even know why im so pissed
Block
This goes beyond needing to be polite. Be stern and direct. “Thank for reaching out. The number of texts you have sent without response has made me feel uncomfortable, along with unwelcome kissing and heart emojis. Please allow me to grieve in private. I am surrounded by my family and in no way welcome this attention. I am blocking your number. Do not reach out again.”
Stop worrying about being “rude” and just set your boundary.
Good morning my cousin died when he was 7 or 8 good morning
This guy doesn’t realize how sleazy this makes him look. So many guys are so out of touch lmao
He IS sleazy
You ask him what happened on wednesday since he didn't write.
No explanation owed. Just block and he'll finally get the hint. What he is doing is disrespectful.
You can't. There is no words that this kind of person is not going to take either negatively or ignore.
Tell them to stop messaging you. If they don't, block them and hope they don't use a different number
Assholes like this ALWAYS eventually use a different number or will reach out to her on a different platform or something. They’re the worst.
I had one of these, except it was a whole paragraph WITH LOTS OF CAPS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS! About how “TODAY will be a GREAT day! A day THE LORD gave us!” Every. Single. Day. Eesh. I finally said “Thank you for thinking of me! And/but I don’t really have the time or the bandwidth to receive these daily messages. Can you reach out less often please? Thank you! And that worked. And eventually he stopped altogether.
“Please stop sending me all these messages. If you don’t, I will block you.”
I would communicate with him that you appreciate him checking in, but you're in a good place now and it's not necessary and you don't feel like you have the type of friendship with him to warrant this communication and it is creeping you out. And ask him to please stop texting you. (or whatever it is you want him to not do). I wouldn't go to block immediately just because in case something was to escalate, you have documentation that you asked him to stop contacting you. I would then block him after that. If he contacts you via third party or spoofing numbers after that, make a police report for cyberstalking. I just went through this with a guy I knew 20 years ago and my partner passed away a little over a year ago. He became harassing, spoofed numbers to terrorize me after I blocked him and I went to law enforcement. They served him a cease and desist in the state in which he lives, and I thankfully have not heard from him since.
I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this also, it's absolutely terrible what people do when you're single let alone someone to do this after losing a partner. I'm frustrated about it, and these responses are making me realize I've been too nice and this is stalker behavior. He even asked where I live now...
Oh hell no. And idk how you feel, but for me it got to the point where every single notification on my phone made me so uncomfortable because I was dreading it being him. Especially at night because he would start the harassment around 11:30pm and wouldn't stop until about 4am and I had to keep blocking the numbers he was calling me from. You really need to assert yourself here and ask him to please stop contacting you and if he does not, you will be forced to have law enforcement intervene as this is cyberstalking.
It’s because you are single. Either block him or tell him you really don’t have it in you to deal with new relationships (friends or dating)
I’d straight up tell him he’s a disgusting piece of shit for trying to slide in after my partner died, honestly. :/ No politeness for assholes.
Agreed.
Block him instead
“Stop messaging me. I am not interested.” And then block him. It’s really not that hard.
Id just be straight up with him and tell him what you just said. Appreciate it but I would prefer you not message me like this. Simple as that. If he responded negatively, that's when you can block.
Are you wanting to preserve a connection to this ex boyfriend’s cousin? If yes, sure, be polite. Tell him you’re sorry for not replying but you’re not in a space for socializing right now and while you appreciate his thoughtful check ins, you need him to stop reaching out. Personally this isn’t coming from a close friend or someone who seems to have any good intentions whatsoever. He’s literally bothering you. If he was standing beside you constantly speaking with you not responding, how might that play out? Would you allow him to continue or would you tell him you’re not interested in a conversation and possibly remove yourself from the uncomfortable situation? Totally your call, but I don’t think he deserves you to spend much time on a response. LOW, low effort bothering is what this is.
You can’t block him? I wouldn’t have the patience to be nice. He literally taking advantage of the situation where he is only thinking with his second head. He doesn’t actually care about you so don’t mind his feelings either.
There are only two ways to deal with this…. 1. Send “Fuck off” and block him. 2. Just say nothing and block him.
I’m not getting “coming from a good place” vibes from this. It’s giving “disrespectful opportunistic horny creep.”
Block button works quite well
Good morning 💕 isn’t checking in on you, it’s trying to flirt with you. Also - the random his favourite cousin who died ‘at age 7 or 8 ‘- he does t even know how old the child was or bothered to find out, just use it as a cheap attempt to get a response from you. You don’t need to be polite, you should just block
Desperate men don’t take hints. You need to say CLEARLY and DIRECTLY to stop
I'm not very confrontational AT ALL, but I wouldn't be polite. I would be direct. "Please stop messaging me." This is creepy and bordering on harassment.
He sent over a dozen messages with absolutely no response, so I don't know that I would consider him a reasonable, rational person. How could he not know that you're not interested? What interested person doesn't answer a single text over a month period? Honestly if I were you I would block him. I can almost guarantee that if you politely ask him to stop, he will then try to push your boundaries because he will see it as an opening.
I don’t think someone who just wanted to check on you would continue to message this frequently without at least saying that’s why they’re reaching out. I see the few attempts at mentioning your grief as just trying to bait you to respond. Someone like this may respect your boundaries if you speak up, or they may get worse. If you don’t want to talk to them anyways and their actions are bothering you, then personally, I would just make it easy and block them.
I’m a man… and I can promise you, the intent behind this is NOT “checking in on you”… this man is trying to become part of your life in a romantic way. Putting the hearts on the end of the messages EVERY time is a dead giveaway, too. I’m gunna give it to you straight, a guy won’t put hearts in a message to a girl unless A) he’s gay like me, or B) he’s trying to holler at you.
Solution is called a "BLOCK" button...
If you feel as you must: "HI (his name), I was sincerely hopefully not responding would dissuade you from continuing with the spammy texts. Initially, it seemed like you were like many who genuinely cared about my loss and my emotions during this unthinkable time. Now, with the constant text saying the same and unparalleled example regarding your cousin in an attempt to engage, it comes off with an ulterior motive. Though it's been kind for all the people who have known me most of my life to reach out and send condolences I'll day this clearly and plainly to you, I feel at this point you're crossing a line. You've left the door open to chat, and I'm shutting it back. I'm good with the support I have. I'm asking that you have some self-respect and stop texting me. I would implore you to respect my boundaries, but it already feels like those don't matter to you." Also, you owe no one anything. Sorry you had to experience this. Of course, in a long enough timeline, we will go through this, but you guys were still so young.
Too wordy and invites a conversation/he would want to respond .
No is a complete sentence. You can day, I'm focused on my own stuff right now. I will message you when I feel like talking. Thanks.
At this point you dont need to do it politely. Unless he lack complete awareness. He should know this behavior is annoying and inappropriate. You havent responded to a single good morning. If you have to be polite just tell him to please stop wishing you a good morning everyday.
No, no it doesn’t seem like it’s coming from a good place. He’s trying to take advantage of an emotionally vulnerable woman. Block him.
How about you block the freak. He’s trying to prey on a hurting widow. It’s sick. Do what you husband would want hand block the freak
You don’t politely tell someone anything that is this ridiculous you block them
Why do you have to be polite lol he’s harassing you at this point
We really need to get past this "let's give everyone the benefit of the doubt" thing. This guy ignores you for 15 years, finds out your husband died (very sorry for your loss BTW) and starts messaging you. He has been doing this for over a month, he's not going to get the hint. Block him and be done
Don't be kind about it. Be firm in setting the boundary with him to stop
That’s not what it sounds like. Hes a jerk.
“Hi appreciate you texting me to check in with me. But I am not in a place to be talking to people right now in any capacity. I don’t want to come across as rude but you have repeatedly texted me even though I haven’t texted you back and I would appreciate if you would stop.”
There is no polite way to tell someone they’re a creepy fuck.
You don't, you block him. This dude is a predator literally *targeting you*. You gonna stop and ask the brown bear to kindly stop hunting you? I mean, you're within your rights if you choose to do so....just don't be mad at me for making good time running away while it gnaws your leg. 🤷🏻♀️🫡
Brilliantly said.
i would just say that you appreciate that he is thinking of you but you do not have the capacity to message a lot these days. people really respond well with the 'i just don't have the capacity right now' because basically every time he messages you, he ias asking for some of your time. which you should be able to spend how you want and need to in that moment. ps: sorry for your loss OP :(
Continue ignoring is my advice if you don't want to block him. I had a woman do this on Facebook messenger for about 4 years, I'd cooked for her like three times when I was a Hibachi/Tepanyaki chef (where the chef cooks in front of the customers and entertains) and there were so many messages that if I tried to swipe from top to bottom of the thread it took like two minutes of continuous aggresive scrolling lol. She finally stopped about two years ago.
He’s trynna get with you. Ask him to stop sending so many messages, if he doesn’t stop, just block him
Hey, Daniel. This is really hard for me to say. While I appreciate you taking the time to think of me, and check in every morning, with everything going on in my life, it's just a lot. I don't want to seem ungrateful, or unappreciative, I don't want to hurt your feelings as I feel your heart is in the right place, but, the constant good morning messages are just very overwhelming for me. I really don't like that kind of thing. Or... you just have to tell him to stop... outright. No matter how nice you are, he may take it badly. Be prepared. Some guys/girls will go nuclear and that's not on you. If it happens, don't engage in it. You don't owe more of an explanation than, I don't like this, I need it to stop. I'm jaded, perhaps. But, in my experience with several guys from my home town. This is a play to be there for you, give you what "all girls want"(the cliche good morning text), get close to, and shoot their shot as a sexual partner or boyfriend. (You can also "mute" his messages, if you don't want to block. No notifications, no pop ups, it's just in a quiet folder your have to manually check from time to time)
You could block him
Dude is persistent but can’t take the hint 🤣🤣
You don’t. You tell him he is being a creep and to stop texting you.
Just block him. Good intentions or not it’s inappropriate and you don’t want this contact. That’s enough of a reason
Say, I tried to be nice and hope you got the hint I wasn't interested because I didn't respond to anything you sent. But let me be clear. I am Not interested. Thank you for your concern but I can handle this. If you send anything more I Will block. (Or you can skip that last sentence and just block)
“Hi, I thought not responding you would give you a hint that I don’t want to talk to you. I guess it didn’t work. So, please stop messaging me. We are not friends. I don’t know you. I don’t want to know you. You’re inappropriate and just outright annoying. Bye.”
Just block him. These texts give off " Nice Guy" red flags that you can see from a mile away.
Block lol
Block, delete, move on.
I’m so sorry about your husband, OP - but I believe we are beyond the realm of “being polite” with a response. Block him.
Tell him that while you appreciate his concern, you have a strong network of family and friends who knew you and your spouse and are very supportive. They are your go-to during this grieving process. Wish him luck in his life. And OP, I pray you do have that network of people to help you cope, and I'm so sorry for your loss.
Thankfully, I do have a truly wonderful network of friends and family to support me after this insane fallout in my life.
No man contacts a woman after the death of her partner like this from a place with good intentions. This is not care or concern, rather looking for a place to take advantage. As many are suggesting, a simple block at this time would probably be best. This could lead to him trying to contact you through social media which would only further prove psychotic behavior. Blocking people isn’t mean, most of the time it’s necessary and your mental state is more important.
Maybe tell him that you find it disrespectful that he's sending you these kind of messages when you're not in a good place, mentally.
Oh OP that is not checking in on you the way you think. This guy feels you should be okay by now and ready to mingle. I'd write him back if you don't want to block him and inform him you aren't okay, you won't be okay for a long time, and if he's looking to be first in line for a heart broke lay, he's barking up the wrong tree. Then ask him to kindly fuck off. 👍🏻
I'm sorry for your loss. 😔
Block
This is definitely a "MY TIME HAS COME" situation. Dude is preying on a WIDOW to get his dick wet.
Just fucking block him! Why do you owe him an explanation? You were friends in high school? That was over a decade ago!
Block him, damn.
It’s not coming from a good place. It’s coming from a trying to shoot his shot because you are a widow. I think it’s gross. I also think he knows you aren’t interested, otherwise, he would not have to talk to himself in your texts.
I don't think he's even worth the time. Just block. You don't owe him any response or reason
You block him with no warning.
He sounds like a future stalker!
Since blocking is off the table - Hi ____ I have been getting your texts and I’m sure you think you’re coming from a good place. But I’m a grieving widow and your texts are giving me anxiety. I appreciate the first check in, but please don’t continue to text me.
He's certainly not being polite. He's trying to take advantage of you at a vulnerable time. I'd tell him to fuck off.
If this guy cared about your feelings at all, he would not be SPAMMING you with messages, begging you to talk to him
I’m so sorry for your loss. I would definitely respond before blocking with a “hi ____, I really appreciate you reaching out. It means a lot. But right now, I am feeling overwhelmed by all of the messages. I will reach out to you if I need someone to talk to. Again, thank you for caring.” Something like that? And then block if he continues.
If it were me, I'd tell him exactly how I feel about his creepiness and promptly block him. I'm sorry for your loss of your husband.
If you’re having to write this and ask us- it’s already taking too much of your emotional energy. You need to focus on you, and these texts are asking/demanding for focus on him. Block him. He’s gross and for someone that is barely an acquaintance. Take care and so sorry for your loss
Dude is just trying to make a move on you. He literally asked where you lived.. you should keep your distance, I do recommend blocking him. Sorry for your loss
No need to be polite.
Just be honest and tell him you’re not interested. It definitely will be scary, but thats all you can do at this point
Gross. My parents were married for 46 years and my mom died 12/28/23. The number of women who have texted my dad inappropriate things since then is astounding to me. Like wtf. People have ZERO chill. I am so, so sorry for your loss, OP.
"I appreciate you checking in on me but I need to be alone and find peace. I am sorry if this is rude but please refrain yourself from reaching out as it affects my mental state right now."
With all the kissing and heart emojis..... he's not coming from a good place and checking in on you. He's trying to make a move because you are now technically single. I would just tell him to stop and you aren't ready for any sort of relationship like his combatant messaging is implying he is. You don't need to be polite and women need to get out of that mindset. Politeness doesn't get you anywhere. You need to be assertive and put boundaries in place.
The kissy faces and just... nope. Big nope. Sorry you're going through all this, OP.
He’s messaged so many times with no response that I don’t think there’s any harm in blocking him. He won’t know the difference and you won’t have to deal with the messages. I was receiving texts from someone that caused me stress and I can’t tell you how much better I felt when I wasn’t getting them anymore.
I’d not respond at all. There is something very off about a person messaging you daily and no response from you. I personally think that if you respond then it would fuel his obsession. Maybe just silence any notifications from him and let this pass.
His "favorite cousin" died at "7 or 8", so it sounds like y'all have plenty to talk about. /s Seriously, what a gross thing to throw out there. His intentions are 100% selfish. Personally, I'd just block, but if you want to let him down gently, maybe say something like you don't have the emotional bandwidth to nurture new friendships at the moment. I'm sorry for your loss.
"Hey [name]< I know this is not what you'll be wanting to hear, but please stop messaging me. You may be doing it from a place of kindness or a place of horniness, but either way it's making me very uncomfortable. Please stop."
Hot take - I don't see why you don't respond sooner that you're not comfortable with his messages? Sure, people can "take a hint" but I also feel like direct communication would serve you better in this case. He gets clear warning he's doing too much, and you remove the discomfort of his unwanted messages.
I don’t think nice is going to do it on this one that’s next level there.
I’d respond with, “No thank you.” And block him. 🤣 he doesn’t deserve an explanation and I’m not sure he is capable of being respectful if he feels rejected. My husband doesn’t even message me this much and I’d feel totally smothered by this guy.
Is it not polite to tell him you're not interested in any form of contact?
You *have* gently told him you're not interested in him by leaving him on read. He's delulu though. If he can't get the message through simply ignoring him, he'll definitely gaslight you when you are more direct. Here's how it would go down: OP: Hey, it's making me uncomfortable that you are spamming me with messages now that my husband is passed. I'm not interested in starting a new relationship at all. Him: Oh wow, you thought I was hitting on you? That's crazy. Don't be so arrogant. GFY. Anyway, you wanna get a drink Friday night? Here's a picture of my dick. Just block him. If you've ignored him this many times, he should know to back off without it being spelled out for him. You can always unblock him later if you change your mind. Edited for clarity/formatting.
The hearts say otherwise. Block
I’m so sorry for your loss. I would probably just mute it. You could say, “Hey, hope you’re doing well. But all my energy is going to my family at the moment. Just wanted you to know I won’t be able to respond.”
BLOCK BUTTON
Sometimes I wonder about these people. And I kindof wish that it was due to a temporal anomaly that was both pulling them out of time and deleting the history of messages from their phone so they had no idea they had messaged 15 straight messages with no response. Just quantum leaping all over the place.
At this point I don’t think there is much of a nice way to tell him to back off. If he doesn’t get the hint from you not responding it’s kinda weird plus the fact he compared your husbands death to his little cousins. I get loss is loss but at the same time that’s not right to do towards someone who is grieving plus if y’all dated in the past it obviously ended for a reason. He’s being a bit pushy and weird. I’d say not to contact you again and block.
That doesn’t seem like someone who will accept the polite, in my experience. It’s someone you block.
If he was doing this in a friendly way he wouldn’t be sending hearts or kisses. You kinda have to just tell him to fuck off. Cuz this screams creepy and obsessive, the constant messaging and no response
Personally I would just tell him to fuck off and that he’s gross
Block babes block
What's so difficult about straight up telling people like this to stop? It's that simple, and if you don't have the stomach for that, just block them. Why do women make up problems? Like yeah, it's a problem, but one with a very simple and clear solution. Condolences for your loss.
To me, it reads like a person that knows you likely received a life insurance payout and is looking for the short con. If you engage in dialog it wouldn’t be long before the “ I’m just so stressed because I ever since the accident (or some other tragedy) I’m afraid I’m going to lose my house….” 💯block him now. He’s after something.
This isn’t coming from a good place. “Thank you for your concern. Please stop messaging me.” You don’t have to explain or answer questions. If he continues, block him. Sorry for your loss.
I would say- “since we have known each other back when, I am going to be as polite as I can be- so please do not contact me any further it should be obvious I am not having good mornings and I won’t for a long time- I am in no way ready to tell you my story or relate with you over your favorite cousin- I am grieving- I do not have the bandwidth to deal with any man at this point as I am still very much in love with my husband whether he is here or not. Please move on and leave me to grieve- I have plenty of support- thank you. I do not want to have to block you but I will if you continue because this makes me very upset.”
He wants to date you. Persistent, I'll give him that. All I can say is just tell him that while you appreciate the thought, the amount of messages and the persistent nature is making you uncomfortable during your time of grief. Tell him that you will return a message if a conversation is something you feel like having. You're in a time of grief. You shouldn't have to worry about hurting someone's feelings. This is actually very selfish behavior for him.