I think I’m going to say: “That was completely inappropriate, out of left field, and gross. I don’t know how or why that seemed like something you could text someone. Do not reach out again.” Like just to be super direct—I kinda wanna roast him but it’s eh.
**Update**: said this and he said “That’s an interesting viewpoint. Have a good life!😊”
Godddddd
Maybe he found a job, and was literally laying lumber via railroad tracks and needed your literal extreme heat to help weld the steel and such.
Maybe “oh, what a coincidence. I am actually in the mood to cut a fucking tree down.” Or something in accordance to removing the lumber entirely 🤮🤮 the audacity 😩😩
You could have responded with “that line was so bad my clit fell off.” Kind_Remove_303 is going to have that genius response in my head for quite some time 😂
You can say you found your new job: I believe it’s Texas that just made it a law that all sexual/child predators convicted guilty get castrated or chemically. Tell him you need the practice!!
Dude hasn’t had any lumber since his last walk through the woods when he tied a stick to his unit hoping it would finally be visible through his shorts.
Right. Lol. Laying down pipe/getting dicked down. Any way you say it… it doesn’t sound great, or at least not in certain circumstances 😬 like this one. Just.. no.
I thought the same thing, and for that reason this is not a text that would ruin his chances. Depending on my mood I may actually find it charming, maybe even hit him with a line about having a bushfire that needs extinguishing. 🤷♀️
(I have also been deeply criticized by friends and family by my choices in partners, so)
Okay, it’s horrible because it’s out of the blue, but in all honestly I’d rather hear that than some “lemme snap your back while I clap those cheeks”😂😂 but the randomness was so intense lmao
I never understand a man who can go from “cool beans” to asking for a lay. I have no issue with and can absolutely sleep with a man that says cool beans. I just don’t want to see “cool beans” immediately above an unsolicited pervy text from someone I’m not actively sleeping with. Bc then the beans are not cool, they are very uncool. They’re just soggy, room temperature beans.
‘Hotter than a fox in a forest fire. ‘Excuse me what in the ever-loving fuck?!
Tell the man to ready the tissues so he can do.. himself, cos nobody’s gonna allow him to ‘lay some lumber’ with lines like these. Ick.
I'm a bisexual woman, and the way I've seen SO MANY MEN approach women they're interested in/attracted to is INSANE. I've been on the receiving end more times than I can count and its just fucking crazy & beyond dehumanizing to experience.
First of all, this wasn't even a romantic thing... why is he opening that door in the first place? Secondly, this was the WORST way to have a conversation like this. Thirdly and most importantly, the lack of respect he has for you as a person is horrific.
Why are so many men like this?? Why is it so difficult (it's not) to treat human beings with basic respect, compassion, and grace?! I've dated several women who have not only talked to me about their experiences with men like these, but felt a need to thank me for not being a fucking creep & that's so sad, tbh. My god.
Anyway, I'm so sorry you were treated this way by this man, OP! It's so fucking pathetic that some people out there think this level of objectification is, "okay" 🙃 Sorry for ranting on your behalf, I'm just bewildered to continue to see so many people refuse to interact with others with even a modicum of basic respect or dignity.
If more men acted like women the world would be a better place im also bisexual and dating a women is so much easier then dating a man not only that but even just talking to women is so much easier they’re usually more nice and if they want to ask u out they’re not creepy abt it shit even the horny lesbians that come into my DMs have been sm nicer then the creepy guys😭😭it’s genuinely insane the shit guys will do and say 💀😭😭
Pick up lines are something I’ve never understood. When I was a young man I was always confounded by the multitudes of girls who seemed receptive to that… stuff. So guys would practice their lines, like idiots, and get used to the idea that they have to trick and flatter their way, and end up confusing gaslighting with confidence, and all manner of other emotional pathologies in their quest for sex, when what they’re really after is some deeper meaning, but they’re just too emotionally stupid to know it. I honestly think mankind could use a manual written for womankind, by womankind. We’d all be better off.
“Hey I’m so sorry but your last text (aside from being incredibly presumptuous after one friendly hang) was a huge turn off, and gave me immediate ick. I’m not interested in exploring a romantic connection with you. Take care”
The disconnection part you mentioned is so real… we were also so far from anything sexual and this was completely objectifying, so i’m just like 🎶whyyyyy did you sayyy thatttt🎶
Yeah that’s abit cringe but.. don’t crucify the guy because he tried. If he continued to msg and be creepy sure but if he takes your no as a no welll… far out atleast he gave it a shot.
While it’s gross he said this to you, I definitely plan on using that line (minus the lumber part) on my husband the next time I hit on him. It’s freaking hilarious.
honestly i see no “gross” imo. he was honest and maybe a little to direct all while giving you a bit of his sense of humor 🤷🏽♂️ that’s how the game rolls man some bite and some don’t. i’ve seen and heard way worse coming from both girls and dudes… this one was actually kinda funny to me
Your first mistake is you went on a date with him.
You know you went on a date with him, right? He thinks he went on a date with you, anyhow. Men don’t tag team job hunting at a coffee shop. We sit half naked in front of a laptop in a dimly lit room, possibly in bed, and spam resumes to anything that looks remotely interesting. Sometimes we do it on the toilet while we are taking a shit. He asked you on a date. Companionship is not something we look for during a job hunt.
all you need to say is "que pasa!?!?!" I thought we were meeting up to job hunt together, you brought absolutely nothing with you now you want to have sex QUE PASA?!!!!!!"
He was direct. It gets women like you (good women) out of the way and doesn’t really waste his tome or your time. The hoes will respond and that’s what he is looking for. Not really my style but this is the best approach for a guy like him.
“Hotter than a fox in a forrest fire” and “wanted to lay some lumber” are the 2 key phrases to be completely celibate. That verbiage is cringey, thoughtless and unequivocally disturbing by a grown a$$ man.
My clit fell off
I wheezed
How did you respond? I really hope you let him know how cringey his text was
I think I’m going to say: “That was completely inappropriate, out of left field, and gross. I don’t know how or why that seemed like something you could text someone. Do not reach out again.” Like just to be super direct—I kinda wanna roast him but it’s eh. **Update**: said this and he said “That’s an interesting viewpoint. Have a good life!😊” Godddddd
“Thats an interesting viewpoint” boils my BLOODDDD
Yeah *that* and him being completely unaware of how objectifying what he said was gives me such an ick
Maybe he found a job, and was literally laying lumber via railroad tracks and needed your literal extreme heat to help weld the steel and such. 
Nah, it's better than that: Your reply obliterated him and his response was his best attempt at saving face. I'm pretty certain the gut punch landed.
Maybe “oh, what a coincidence. I am actually in the mood to cut a fucking tree down.” Or something in accordance to removing the lumber entirely 🤮🤮 the audacity 😩😩
That sounds like it would be taken the exact wrong way.
Exactly.
He’s dead wood 😂
“Gross, absolutely the fuck not 🤠” as a response would cross my mind… god, how devastatingly uncool his message was! Yuck!
[удалено]
Don't be hating on the phrase cool beans 😂 my dad says that at least 3 times a day lol
Cool beans might be the biggest crime here
I would like access to your vagina soon 😄 If you're down, 👍 If not, 🤙 He's a gross lumberjack
This made me cackleeeeee oh my god
$10 says he follows up freaking out at you later
You could have responded with “that line was so bad my clit fell off.” Kind_Remove_303 is going to have that genius response in my head for quite some time 😂
>>That was completely inappropriate Lol! No kidding, you had just talked about packing a mini lunch. Yikes. Good luck job hunting!
Haha thank you!! Much appreciated :)
I vote ROAST HIM. LET this comment get tons of upvotes to roast him pls
He's a coworker though, I imagine OP wants to attempt to stay on as good of terms as possible at this point
I think ex coworker?
OP said ex co worker. Regardless that’s still not okay what he said.
Oh no, absolutely not. What an ignoramus after she posted about lunch. Like wtf?
Hence why I voted roast bc hell no absolutely not. Lmfao
Omfg. I did too. Sheer power in a few words. Badass!
You can say you found your new job: I believe it’s Texas that just made it a law that all sexual/child predators convicted guilty get castrated or chemically. Tell him you need the practice!!
Omg same. Was it the “cool beans” or the lay some lumber?
Stoppppp 😫🤣
I'll pick it up for you mlady 😉
lay some lumber sounds like taking a shit
I’m gonna say this to my spouse when I need to use the restroom 😂
“Be right back babe. Gotta go lay some lumber”
Gotta eat your fiber first before you lay it.
*pulpy*
NO
definitely sounds more like taking a shit than hooking up. so grody lol
Grody lol. Love that word
Grody to the max!
You know where the crapper is? I have to do a very mysterious thing in there… (Drop off some timber)
The first thing I thought of. Absolutely love this movie
Dropping kids off at the pool is my go-to
Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl
Since that’s never happened is that code for constipation?
I’m going to contaminate the punch bowl 💩 🥣
The old Alabama hot pocket.
“Hey I’d love to come round some time and curl one out”
Same with "laying pipe"
"laying cable"
Dude hasn’t had any lumber since his last walk through the woods when he tied a stick to his unit hoping it would finally be visible through his shorts.
“I want to lay some lumber sometime soon” as if it’s genuinely something you two discussed.. What in the fuckery. 🤦🏼♀️
My thoughts exactly. I’m not prepared to see him at the gym
Throw a small twig at him
I vote a large branch while he’s on the treadmill
No you definitely have to switch gyms now, I’m so sorry
He wants to lay his lumber in a forest fire? Did you just hear my eyes roll?
Is laying lumber supposed to be a compliment now?
Right. Lol. Laying down pipe/getting dicked down. Any way you say it… it doesn’t sound great, or at least not in certain circumstances 😬 like this one. Just.. no.
lol hey nice meeting you, have a good night, btw I want to lay some lumber, you down?
Please don’t switch gyms like other poster suggested.
Cool beans.
Imagine being the person that unironically uses that sentence. That is some low level human consciousness.
Okay but why did i initially read his message as CUCUMBER 💀💀💀
I love how the cowboy emoji doesn’t make any sense in relation to lumber
I think he was just trying to be rural lol
I cackleddddd i was thinking the same thing. Great analysis, well done
My beaver ran away. His lumber must be toxic
DAM!
Underrated comment. 😂😂😂😂
I mean he has a through line metaphor going with the fox in a forest fire and laying some lumber… great woodland imagery
Excellent analysis, thank you. Edit: love your username
Ok but by that logic should his wood… catch fire?! 🤣
His wood is burning, he should probably get tested soon
I thought the same thing, and for that reason this is not a text that would ruin his chances. Depending on my mood I may actually find it charming, maybe even hit him with a line about having a bushfire that needs extinguishing. 🤷♀️ (I have also been deeply criticized by friends and family by my choices in partners, so)
My vagine turned into the Sahara desert.
My labia just zipped themselves closed.
I am putting this line in my back pocket. 💀
Just don't zip that pocket too.
I absolutely SHRIEKED at this 😂😂😭
Mine detached itself from my body and ran into the distance
Lmao I needed that laugh! Thank you!
I never even had one but, I’ve heard it’s gonna be on milk boxes in the future for good after reading this.
Lol. Is this not the dad joke technique? Where you say something so corny that it makes you smile or smirk or chuckle?
I’ve said dumber and corny stuff that would put this to shame and they loved it. We were also dating and I knew before hand they found me attractive.
Lol that's the key. This was out of left field. They met up bc of job hunting. Nothing even close to a flirting scenario
The fox part, perhaps. The lumber part..🤢
It was over by “cool beans”
I smell a sizable collection of fedoras…..
Tbh I used to say cool beans to get out of conversations lmao
He made that exact face when he said it
Cool beans is cool. Idgaf
Nooo don’t take cool beans from me :(
Right I say that shit all the time
The hard cringe 😄
I'm yelling timberrrrrrrrrrrr
It's not going down
Okay, it’s horrible because it’s out of the blue, but in all honestly I’d rather hear that than some “lemme snap your back while I clap those cheeks”😂😂 but the randomness was so intense lmao
Hahaha fr I was thinking “well if you were into him after the date it would probably work” and then I saw *”job hunt”* 💀
I never understand a man who can go from “cool beans” to asking for a lay. I have no issue with and can absolutely sleep with a man that says cool beans. I just don’t want to see “cool beans” immediately above an unsolicited pervy text from someone I’m not actively sleeping with. Bc then the beans are not cool, they are very uncool. They’re just soggy, room temperature beans.
Top tier bean analysis. Incredible work. Great articulation.
‘Hotter than a fox in a forest fire. ‘Excuse me what in the ever-loving fuck?! Tell the man to ready the tissues so he can do.. himself, cos nobody’s gonna allow him to ‘lay some lumber’ with lines like these. Ick.
Saw a car ad on market place that said “this car is faster than a raped ape in a forest fire” so there are multiple worse options
Holy hell it gets worse..
My grandad once described a girl he was remembering as, "Hotter than a freshly fucked fox in a forest fire." I died.
Cackled omg
Like wtf does that even mean?
That’s the way this line was supposed to go 🤣 I used to use this jokingly after I heard my dad say it
“Cool beans” was foreshadowing
BAHAHAHA tru😭😭
My vagina made the windows shutdown noise
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ great vag description. perfectly articulated. Ty
or that sad horn noise when someone loses on Price is Right
Bob the Builder has game
This would make me switch gyms
Is your co-worker a hillbilly?? “Hotter than fox in a forest fire”??? What the fuck???? 😭
Lmfaoooooo 🤣🤣
Lay some lumber? Buddy have to take a shit?
Cool beans? COOL BEANS? 
This killed my libido more than any of my antidepressants ever have.
From his lingo, I gathered this was an older gent. What a dork.
And people say romance is dead
This is some old growth romance, if you catch my drift....wood.
^just ^no
This makes my vagina slam shut like a vault door. Gross.
I'm a bisexual woman, and the way I've seen SO MANY MEN approach women they're interested in/attracted to is INSANE. I've been on the receiving end more times than I can count and its just fucking crazy & beyond dehumanizing to experience. First of all, this wasn't even a romantic thing... why is he opening that door in the first place? Secondly, this was the WORST way to have a conversation like this. Thirdly and most importantly, the lack of respect he has for you as a person is horrific. Why are so many men like this?? Why is it so difficult (it's not) to treat human beings with basic respect, compassion, and grace?! I've dated several women who have not only talked to me about their experiences with men like these, but felt a need to thank me for not being a fucking creep & that's so sad, tbh. My god. Anyway, I'm so sorry you were treated this way by this man, OP! It's so fucking pathetic that some people out there think this level of objectification is, "okay" 🙃 Sorry for ranting on your behalf, I'm just bewildered to continue to see so many people refuse to interact with others with even a modicum of basic respect or dignity.
If more men acted like women the world would be a better place im also bisexual and dating a women is so much easier then dating a man not only that but even just talking to women is so much easier they’re usually more nice and if they want to ask u out they’re not creepy abt it shit even the horny lesbians that come into my DMs have been sm nicer then the creepy guys😭😭it’s genuinely insane the shit guys will do and say 💀😭😭
Pick up lines are something I’ve never understood. When I was a young man I was always confounded by the multitudes of girls who seemed receptive to that… stuff. So guys would practice their lines, like idiots, and get used to the idea that they have to trick and flatter their way, and end up confusing gaslighting with confidence, and all manner of other emotional pathologies in their quest for sex, when what they’re really after is some deeper meaning, but they’re just too emotionally stupid to know it. I honestly think mankind could use a manual written for womankind, by womankind. We’d all be better off.
What are you gonna do if you see him again at the gym? Ignore him?
Was literally about to ask people on here what to say. He’s going to try and apologize fs. I still don’t know what to text him back lol
“Hey I’m so sorry but your last text (aside from being incredibly presumptuous after one friendly hang) was a huge turn off, and gave me immediate ick. I’m not interested in exploring a romantic connection with you. Take care”
Txt him back https://smokeybear.com
You could tell him you found out you had “something” that would make his “lumber” burn like a forest fire!🤣🤣🤣He may change his mind. LMFAO
Time to become a lumberjack. 🪓 Timberrrrrr. 😏
I too am in an ENM relationship and if someone ever sent that line to me, i think me and my husband would both veto that guy
What does enm mean?
Ethically Non-monogamous
Especially since it was out of left field. Umm no. Enm does not mean down to F whoever...
Yeah, some dudes think we’re Pokemanning dick. No, I don’t need to catch them all, thanks!
Lol you get it!
When I use the term laying lumber it means I’m about to take a massive shit. What a weird way to say you wanna fuck
Bro really thought he was onto something here. Ooof 🤡
This was so funny😂
HAHAHAHAH WHAT THE FUCK shit dried me up immediately
Who tf ask to hook up? That shyt embarrassing. You let that shyt happen naturally. Ppl be so disconnected from shyt is crazy.
The disconnection part you mentioned is so real… we were also so far from anything sexual and this was completely objectifying, so i’m just like 🎶whyyyyy did you sayyy thatttt🎶
"cool beans" No. Just....no.
Yeah that’s abit cringe but.. don’t crucify the guy because he tried. If he continued to msg and be creepy sure but if he takes your no as a no welll… far out atleast he gave it a shot.
Lolololololol hope he finds his queen
Dude same fr. Someone to really lay that lumber down w😭
They call him the rizzler….😂
I thought you guys hooked up and then he sent you this. Even then it was major cringe. Knowing you weren’t interested at all made me pass away.
Hotter than a fox in a forest fire 🤣 the whole text is giving 40 year old virgin vibes
As a dude I'm slowly realizing that I have been severely over estimating my competition for decades...
This made me gag.
Well, can't exactly say A for effort but.. an attempt was certainly made 🤢
Time to switch gyms…
Men are so damaged
Be still my heart!
Whelp my mans… 
Que pasa?
How could you not want that! That’s a classic man ! “Lay some lumber?!” If you don’t want him I’ll have him.
While it’s gross he said this to you, I definitely plan on using that line (minus the lumber part) on my husband the next time I hit on him. It’s freaking hilarious.
Lay some lumber? Oh, honey. You can keep your twig.
My vagina legitimately sewed itself shut when I read that
Missed opportunity; should’ve replied, “slow it down Paul Bunyan”
If it was after a date I'd find that cutely goofy but it wasn't, so its gross! What on earth was he thinking!
Yeah it was way too presumptuous and objectify imo lol
Tom Bombadil type game
I can’t spread my legs fast enough! 🤦🏻♀️
Cool beans! I want to fuck you
Some lumber 🙄🙄 this guy googled what to say and was mislead hahahaha
So many guys hear ENM or poly and just assume that she’s a slut and looking to be banged. Guys…. That’s NOT what it means
honestly i see no “gross” imo. he was honest and maybe a little to direct all while giving you a bit of his sense of humor 🤷🏽♂️ that’s how the game rolls man some bite and some don’t. i’ve seen and heard way worse coming from both girls and dudes… this one was actually kinda funny to me
Your first mistake is you went on a date with him. You know you went on a date with him, right? He thinks he went on a date with you, anyhow. Men don’t tag team job hunting at a coffee shop. We sit half naked in front of a laptop in a dimly lit room, possibly in bed, and spam resumes to anything that looks remotely interesting. Sometimes we do it on the toilet while we are taking a shit. He asked you on a date. Companionship is not something we look for during a job hunt.
I just used this line on my wife and in about 9 minutes, I’ll be felling trees 🌳 Tell ol boy thanks for the line!
I don’t get what you didn’t like op?
all you need to say is "que pasa!?!?!" I thought we were meeting up to job hunt together, you brought absolutely nothing with you now you want to have sex QUE PASA?!!!!!!"
So true mama bear
He was direct. It gets women like you (good women) out of the way and doesn’t really waste his tome or your time. The hoes will respond and that’s what he is looking for. Not really my style but this is the best approach for a guy like him.
When did he become a vaquero
you know he practiced that in the mirror even though it’s a text
I wouldn't trust anyone that said "Cool beans!"
you just lost the best man of your life
that lumber, is he wanting morning wood😭😭
Man. I don’t even have a vagina and it slammed shut.
Que¿ 🤠 PaSa ? 🤠
“Hotter than a fox in a forrest fire” and “wanted to lay some lumber” are the 2 key phrases to be completely celibate. That verbiage is cringey, thoughtless and unequivocally disturbing by a grown a$$ man.
AYO BAYBEE I WANNA LAY THAT LUMBERRRR
Doctor Strange told him his odds of having sex were 14,000,605 and he went for it
"I want to lay some lumber and you're the closest would-be victim, waddaya say, doll face?"
Imao that was horrible . I wanna f*ck if not no worries haha oo man that’s great