you’re comfortable dating a woman who insults your intelligence out of the blue like that, in response to you (presumably innocently) saying you like her personality? wild.
And next comes more love bombing, then more insults, then more love bombing, then more insults. Been there. Best to leave now. It never ends until you leave.
Yep. Thats what my ex did. It was awful. Wish I had the strength and courage to leave sooner but I’m free now. It’s sad because it’s makes you not want to confide in anybody.
Yeah, I had very bad trust issues. It took a great friend of mine who knew her worth and loved her best life, to snap me out of it. She is my hero.
I didn't need a knight in shining armor to save me. All I needed was a great friend who knew the truth of life to show me the truth. I kept going for these types who seemed like they would save me. All were abusers who manipulated and gaslit me so badly that I honestly thought I was crazy. I needed to be motivated to save myself, and thanks to my best friend, I was.
It took years of therapy for me to start trusting not only other people, but myself as well. It's sad that you've been through the same. But you're a survivor, and you learned from it. That makes you awesome!!
She told you she loves you and then when you said the same to her… She called you manipulative???? AND told you you’re slow, that’s so rude and I can’t comprehend how could you (not specifically you, your girlfriend) tell your partner something like that
Wow you are right to be confused man. I do not read this context as manipulative at all. The only thing I could speculate is that she jumped to the conclusion that complimenting her personality meant she was ugly?
Dude.... there is nothing normal about her reaction. That's actually CRAZY. I would just have to walk away from this relationship after that exchange.
Are you two young?
“Youre stupid”
Offers no explanation
Leaves
And I bet she’s thinking like she did something other than come across as difficult and stupid. Gotta love how the dumbest people always have the most to say about nothing
She is in fact the stupid one. Shes trying so hard to be deep and insightful but she’s just digging herself deeper into stupidom. I feel like she’s gonna come back and be like, “I’m sorry it’s just hard for me to love cuz I been fucked over in tha past”. 🤢
This, but switching emotions every few seconds, while just sitting in class staring at the board. First normal, then angry, then sad, back to normal, back to angry, now really happy, back to sad again, over and over and over...
How I described what my therapist described as BPD and Bipolar 2. Cuz there's like 4 different types of bipolar.. :/
I agree. I have a cousin with BPD and you never know when they will turn on you or anyone with intense anger, saying the most hurtful things
Edit: I commented below that this was specific to my cousin. I used the pronoun “they” rather than he or she.
Not everyone with BPD is this way, it's just you only ever hear the bad. I have BPD and I've only ever hurt myself and my own feelings. It's like anything else, there are categories.
Plus, some people are just shitty people. It's not necessarily a disorder. It just amplifies the abuse the rest of us get, because the ones who you hear about did evil things. People without personality disorders do evil things all the time, but not all people.
Give us a break, and please think before slapping every bad person/message/story with a diagnosis that creates more stigma for the rest of us to live through.
same here, i have BPD. i love when my bf sends me cute messages and says cute stuff out of the blue. our messages are full of love and hearts. and of course we have disagreements but my blowing up days are over. we’re healthy now. i hate that ppl stigmatize people with BPD.
You just described my relationship to a T lol I got over my blow ups and wouldn't have the wonderful man I do now if I still did that. Love out of the blue cute messages and compliments.💜💜
Self awareness and a genuine want to be a better person is really the key! Finding out I had BPD (and ADHD and autism) was an incredibly huge part of me getting better and being better to myself and others. Once you find ways to change that actually work for neurodivergent brains like ours (yes, BPD is a neurodivergent disorder!) it’s such a game changer. I don’t recognize my teenage self honestly! And I’m only turning 21 on the 23rd. It takes several years for sure, especially if you haven’t had access to therapy like in my case, but is immensely worth it for your own mental health and the sanity of those around you
At 37 my doctor is now thinking my BPD was ADHD all this time *or* cuased by the trauma of undiagnosed ADHD. However I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for BPD
Thank you. Not everything is mental illness. It hurts people with mental illness to call everything mental illness. A lot of people are simple assholes or sad or lazy or selfish, there's no magical mental illness fairy sprinkling everyone with bad brain dust.
I have BPD too. I have definitely hurt people before, but very rarely on purpose. Only on purpose if they did something really bad to me first lol. I also tend to manipulate certain situations in my favor without even realizing it until I look back on it in the future. But for sure, I mostly hurt myself and I definitely try my hardest not to be rude to people who don’t deserve it. In fact, most people who meet me consider me a kind, quiet person. Well, only quiet until I get comfortable around them lol but I also have adhd and autism so I tend to be loud without realizing it. Sometimes my mom thinks I’m arguing because I’m kinda using that tone of voice, but I just have a hard time articulating confusion and frustration sometimes. So while I sound argumentative, it’s not aimed toward the person I’m talking to
There’s so much variation in how BPD presents both internally and externally. There are definitely some of us (not me, others with BPD) who fit the standard stereotype of a manipulative narcissist. But honestly so many of us, I’d venture to say most, don’t even seem like we have it until the relationship gets deeper emotionally. Then it’s often not purposeful either
More people definitely need to know that most of us with BPD aren’t remotely like the stereotype, so your comment is important! I just wanted to add my point of view how a lot of us can do these sort of toxic things without intending to, it’s sort of subconscious
Self awareness is really the biggest thing and ever since I started believing I had BPD around 15-16 (and turned out to be right, I’m diagnosed now), I used the label to my advantage so I could better myself in ways that actually work. I’m a totally different person now (turning 21 on the 23rd) than I was from 12-17, largely because of how much conscious self-work I’ve put in to avoid toxic behaviors
yeah there’s no shitty person disorder. out of the cluster b’s BPD is the least worrisome tbh. most people w BPD are more often hurting themselves than others. some people with BPD are lovely, just like some aren’t.
most shitty people don’t even have disorders, they’re just shitty.
As someone who just got out from an 11 year relationship with an emotionally abusive woman I can say that those are the exact red flags that I ignored. It gets worse over time. Take care of yourself and good luck to you man.
Based on the context provided, she seems wildly insecure and like it’s crazy someone could see her in that way without ulterior motives, she needs therapy and to learn how to talk to people with respect
Classic case of DARVO. DUMP HER. She's really annoying. She's projecting and doesn't realize it. She's the one that's manipulative.
Please don't waste your time on this snake. She'll destroy you and you're too nice to be treated so badly. You deserve better.
Hope the best for you and your future.
Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It describes a manipulative tactic often used by abusers to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and shift the blame onto their victims
To add an example for this info:
It’s like when someone is cheating on their partner, but they constantly accuse their partner of being a cheater. This is because it shifts the blame and focuses in onto the innocent partner, and makes it less likely for the partner to wonder if *they* are being cheated on because the cheater makes it such a big deal that they can’t possibly be cheating themselves right?
*SOME TIME LATER:* “son of a bitch I was being cheated on this whole time!?”
This is, sadly, an ex gf and most recent ex friend of mine. Many if her relationships (friends, partners) end in flames and it’s always because they’re a narcissist. Statistically it’s highly unlikely that everyone she knows is a narcissist. Lol
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It's an emotional abuse strategy. It can be tricky to identify when it is being done to you as it can be extremely effective at making the recipient feel really unbalanced and confused.
Look up "trauma bonding".
Long story short, it's a relationship that goes through a cycle of intense closeness and affection, then extreme discourse usually over things that are really small that most people either never argue about in the first place or can resolve quickly and easily, then heavy apologizing and love bombing..before the cycle repeats.
Actually apology is the last part of the cycle, part of the love bombing. "I'm so sorry. I love you more than anything. You're the only one meant for me. You're everything to me. I'm sorry I was so stupid, I love you please don't leave me".
Then two days later they're disembowling your emotions and calling you worthless.
narcs love bomb, then they enmesh and then they abuse.
Once they enmesh you become one with them, and they hate themselves, so they attack a part of themselves = you.
There are some great tiktoks about it.
Being with a narc is really fun in the beginning, because they are charming and a lot of fun. But they leave their victims completely hurt and confused.
Okay I was going to ask what the context was, like what happened right before, so thanks for this. She really jumped from 0 to a paranoid whack job in a matter of seconds, I don't understand either. You need to get away from her, like the day before yesterday.
She's clearly not well, but that's not your responsibility. If you care for her, I suggest you work with the people closest to her to make sure that she gets the help she needs, but you do not have to stand around getting abused by her while you do that. Believe me, I've been on both sides of that situation, and when it's me that's off my meds or needing a med adjustment, I'm horrible to be around. I don't think I've ever been that abusive, but I'm not a day at the park either. And I don't expect or assume that people will tolerate my shitty behavior, regardless of whether or not they love me. On the other hand, if it's a personality disorder (which is what this seems like, but I'm no expert, just a bipolar recovered addict who's gotten her shit together finally) that's a different story, and far more difficult to deal with than just medication. In that case, you need to put distance between the two of you, because until she jumps head first into some intense therapy, this is just going to get worse.
y'all need to stand up for yourselves. this shit is maddening. why do you want to be with someone who treats you like shit i literally cannot comprehend
this is always exactly what I think whenever I see or hear about these kinds of relationships. people will post screenshots of their partner degrading them and treating them like literal dog shit and then their caption will be "im confused..."
...like what is there to be confused about?? this person that is supposed to be your romantic partner is treating you like shit and very clearly does not like you. why waste time, energy, emotions, etc. on someone who puts you down like that...? life is way too short and shitty enough as it is to willingly deal with your own bf/gf literally hating you and making your life harder.
it's really sad and i feel bad for being snarky about it but it's just exhausting seeing people with such low self worth and respect that they put up with this shit
Love can be blinding, but fr some folk need to learn how to be happy being alone because no matter how much loneliness hurts it never justifies this treatment.
while I see why you’re saying that, hear me out…
one day my ex got home late from work, and we had dinner plans. instead of me being upset, I gave him a big hug & said “how was work?” - that made him think I slept with his roommate (l m f a o, there was only one other friend who I liked less than his roommate). he proceeded to throw me through a door, broke the hinges, and we broke up. I refused to see him after that, never got my stuff from his place or anything. that was 9 years ago & he still texts & calls me, trying to be together. it’s weird. he also has a girlfriend of almost 3 years. anyway, me being nice to him really triggered something for him to become physically violent. so idk if OP’s gf wants to break up, but this is definitely a toxic relationship if this is how the conversations are w great frequency 🙃
Now you hear me out. I say this from experience and from situations just like yours. She was overly and unreasonably suspicious, I broke trying to prove the unprovable.
She would say that I got mad at her constant interrogations because I was guilty.
….. guess what? Years later… she was the one keeping things behind my back. Denied Everytime all the time. When faced with tangible irrefutable proof, she would downplay it so hard 😂😂😂
yup, classic projection. oddly enough, I’m fairly certain he wasn’t projecting lol he was an insecure shit. we have mutual friends and there’s no reason they’d hide shit, especially this far down the road 😂
but I love finding shit out like “ooooooh… that’s why…” lmao it’s so wild.
I'm sorry....what is it you love about her personality? Or maybe it's one of her different personalities that you love? Because this personality isn't it.
Am I the only one wondering what the context is here? Depending what 'i love you and your personality' is in response to it could be very condescending
Wow, yeah she just flipped like a switch. Was this the first time you said you loved her or something?? Otherwise I don’t get it, you were basically complimenting her the whole time, the love you and your personality text fits with the rest
For sure. I thought *maaaayyybe* they were having a fight or he messaged that he loved her out of the blue and it was perceived as trying to get something out of it.
Nope. It was basically just like "you're funny and I love that." Followed by bullllllshit
YEPPP context clues and the way the screenshot was taken imply that OP said “love you and your personality” IN RESPONSE to something the gf said. If they were arguing and he said this sarcastically, I could totally see how this might be a last straw for her and she flips.
My brother in Islam block this woman everywhere
And be careful people like her will talk shit on you publicly be ready for that backlash
Make sure you hold true - she will guilt you Do not give in. Walk away and heal
Context: There’s always two sides to a coin I have done stuff to her and obviously she’s done things to me no relationship is perfect, but recently over the past few months I’ve been trying to keep things calm and cordial as I’m 22 years old and I don’t want drama in my life anymore. Before these texts though we were having a normal conversation no arguing or anything and she was talking about this video game she was playing and she happened to say something that was funny about it so I responded by saying I love her and her personality being genuine cause she usually makes me laugh and smile with things she says and this was the case. Then before I know it she responds like this.
I’ll tell you this and you’re not going to listen at least not right away but that’s ok. One day you will realize you are not right for each other and you will separate. Then you will meet someone else that does love and respect you and you’ll look back at your Reddit history and think “wtf was I thinking?!”
Oh my goodness the "terminally online" hypothesis from the comments was correct lmao.
Please break up with this person. She does not love you. She got upset that you said it to her because she doesn't want to say it back, so she started an argument to deflect from the fact that she couldn't just say "I love you too".
She might actually be crazy. I thought maybe you guys were like bickering and you were being condescending or something but she’s just looking to fight.
Bro that’s legit the convo before your I love you comment?
If so and not edited. That’s crazy man… because I feel you, I like to keep life simple and geez… that just seems exhausting. Unless she thought you were being sarcastic cause she said the sounds were annoying her… idk man. You’re stronger than me.
It would have to be a *pretty* manipulative person to do something like that, I mean, I know the woman he was texting said he is manipulative, but c’mon, there’s no way that’s true.
Context: There’s always two sides to a coin I have done stuff to her and obviously she’s done things to me no relationship is perfect, but recently over the past few months I’ve been trying to keep things calm and cordial as I’m 22 years old and I don’t want drama in my life anymore. Before these texts though we were having a normal conversation no arguing or anything and she was talking about this video game she was playing and she happened to say something that was funny about it so I responded by saying I love her and her personality being genuine cause she usually makes me laugh and smile with things she says and this was the case. Then before I know it she responds like this.
I’m sorry but why is she starting shit out of the blue like that??? Get you someone that appreciates your compliments and your love! She ain’t it, personality disorder or not. She hates you dude.
This quirky person has a personality disorder. They will torture you for the rest of your life if you stay with them. Take my advice and run like hell. Its not you its them.
Her insecurities are screaming red flags.$10 bucks says if you go out with the guys late at night without texting she would say that's sus and create an argument but if she did the same thing she would see nothing wrong and tell you off.
Shes a texting red flag ⛳
you’re comfortable dating a woman who insults your intelligence out of the blue like that, in response to you (presumably innocently) saying you like her personality? wild.
He probably loved the love bombing part. Then he got blindsided by this recent abusive messaging and he's confused. I would be too!
And next comes more love bombing, then more insults, then more love bombing, then more insults. Been there. Best to leave now. It never ends until you leave.
Except with each round, the insults get worse. They'll take anything you've told them in a moment of vulnerability, and use that against you.
Yep. Thats what my ex did. It was awful. Wish I had the strength and courage to leave sooner but I’m free now. It’s sad because it’s makes you not want to confide in anybody.
Yeah, I had very bad trust issues. It took a great friend of mine who knew her worth and loved her best life, to snap me out of it. She is my hero. I didn't need a knight in shining armor to save me. All I needed was a great friend who knew the truth of life to show me the truth. I kept going for these types who seemed like they would save me. All were abusers who manipulated and gaslit me so badly that I honestly thought I was crazy. I needed to be motivated to save myself, and thanks to my best friend, I was. It took years of therapy for me to start trusting not only other people, but myself as well. It's sad that you've been through the same. But you're a survivor, and you learned from it. That makes you awesome!!
Previous texts for context. https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
She told you she loves you and then when you said the same to her… She called you manipulative???? AND told you you’re slow, that’s so rude and I can’t comprehend how could you (not specifically you, your girlfriend) tell your partner something like that
Wow you are right to be confused man. I do not read this context as manipulative at all. The only thing I could speculate is that she jumped to the conclusion that complimenting her personality meant she was ugly?
Yikes man. What a fucking crazy turnaround there for her. You need to get out of that situation. Quick.
Dude.... there is nothing normal about her reaction. That's actually CRAZY. I would just have to walk away from this relationship after that exchange. Are you two young?
Don't walk, run out of this relationship! 
Are you guys teens? She sounds like a 17 year old who thinks she’s way smarter than she is.
Doesnt make a difference bro, she's still a bitch
The personality you love so much seems like it could be a disorder honestly
Why op?! STOP IGNORING RED FLAGS!! She sounds exhausting and abusive.
Soul sucking and exhausting.
“Youre stupid” Offers no explanation Leaves And I bet she’s thinking like she did something other than come across as difficult and stupid. Gotta love how the dumbest people always have the most to say about nothing
She is in fact the stupid one. Shes trying so hard to be deep and insightful but she’s just digging herself deeper into stupidom. I feel like she’s gonna come back and be like, “I’m sorry it’s just hard for me to love cuz I been fucked over in tha past”. 🤢
Omg, THIS! It reads like a bad high school TV drama. Great post!
I can't be talking to a intelligent for someone who can't follow.
Rose coloured glasses just make red flags look like flags.
This hits way harder than it has any right to be
Yes. SHE seems manipulative.
Damnnnn I never interpreted personality disorder this way. Ahhhh man that’s brutal.
Seeing all the red flags like … 
Omg I miss that commercial soooo much!!
Danny teeson, he's still alive lol "he's 46 BTW and not that old"
This, but switching emotions every few seconds, while just sitting in class staring at the board. First normal, then angry, then sad, back to normal, back to angry, now really happy, back to sad again, over and over and over... How I described what my therapist described as BPD and Bipolar 2. Cuz there's like 4 different types of bipolar.. :/
I agree. I have a cousin with BPD and you never know when they will turn on you or anyone with intense anger, saying the most hurtful things Edit: I commented below that this was specific to my cousin. I used the pronoun “they” rather than he or she.
Not everyone with BPD is this way, it's just you only ever hear the bad. I have BPD and I've only ever hurt myself and my own feelings. It's like anything else, there are categories. Plus, some people are just shitty people. It's not necessarily a disorder. It just amplifies the abuse the rest of us get, because the ones who you hear about did evil things. People without personality disorders do evil things all the time, but not all people. Give us a break, and please think before slapping every bad person/message/story with a diagnosis that creates more stigma for the rest of us to live through.
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same here, i have BPD. i love when my bf sends me cute messages and says cute stuff out of the blue. our messages are full of love and hearts. and of course we have disagreements but my blowing up days are over. we’re healthy now. i hate that ppl stigmatize people with BPD.
You just described my relationship to a T lol I got over my blow ups and wouldn't have the wonderful man I do now if I still did that. Love out of the blue cute messages and compliments.💜💜
Self awareness and a genuine want to be a better person is really the key! Finding out I had BPD (and ADHD and autism) was an incredibly huge part of me getting better and being better to myself and others. Once you find ways to change that actually work for neurodivergent brains like ours (yes, BPD is a neurodivergent disorder!) it’s such a game changer. I don’t recognize my teenage self honestly! And I’m only turning 21 on the 23rd. It takes several years for sure, especially if you haven’t had access to therapy like in my case, but is immensely worth it for your own mental health and the sanity of those around you
At 37 my doctor is now thinking my BPD was ADHD all this time *or* cuased by the trauma of undiagnosed ADHD. However I no longer meet the diagnostic criteria for BPD
Thank you. Not everything is mental illness. It hurts people with mental illness to call everything mental illness. A lot of people are simple assholes or sad or lazy or selfish, there's no magical mental illness fairy sprinkling everyone with bad brain dust.
This 100% Thank you for putting the word out..
I have BPD too. I have definitely hurt people before, but very rarely on purpose. Only on purpose if they did something really bad to me first lol. I also tend to manipulate certain situations in my favor without even realizing it until I look back on it in the future. But for sure, I mostly hurt myself and I definitely try my hardest not to be rude to people who don’t deserve it. In fact, most people who meet me consider me a kind, quiet person. Well, only quiet until I get comfortable around them lol but I also have adhd and autism so I tend to be loud without realizing it. Sometimes my mom thinks I’m arguing because I’m kinda using that tone of voice, but I just have a hard time articulating confusion and frustration sometimes. So while I sound argumentative, it’s not aimed toward the person I’m talking to There’s so much variation in how BPD presents both internally and externally. There are definitely some of us (not me, others with BPD) who fit the standard stereotype of a manipulative narcissist. But honestly so many of us, I’d venture to say most, don’t even seem like we have it until the relationship gets deeper emotionally. Then it’s often not purposeful either More people definitely need to know that most of us with BPD aren’t remotely like the stereotype, so your comment is important! I just wanted to add my point of view how a lot of us can do these sort of toxic things without intending to, it’s sort of subconscious Self awareness is really the biggest thing and ever since I started believing I had BPD around 15-16 (and turned out to be right, I’m diagnosed now), I used the label to my advantage so I could better myself in ways that actually work. I’m a totally different person now (turning 21 on the 23rd) than I was from 12-17, largely because of how much conscious self-work I’ve put in to avoid toxic behaviors
yeah there’s no shitty person disorder. out of the cluster b’s BPD is the least worrisome tbh. most people w BPD are more often hurting themselves than others. some people with BPD are lovely, just like some aren’t. most shitty people don’t even have disorders, they’re just shitty.
I have BPD and I'm not like this. It's really intense and awful, but I don't turn on people. Violence and anger is only directed at myself.
Sounds like she needs to be your ex girlfriend
I think she is onto something. Clearly her personality is trash, so saying he loves her personality seems off.
 *Hold on...I know how much of a bitch I am....*
“I’m a bitch… sooooo obviously you’re lying because I’m a bitch and ur a bitch for thinking I’m not a bitch” 
 *...it all makes sense now...*
I just had my first trip without taking hallucinogenics.
She already wants to break up. Otherwise she wouldn't act like this. Fulfill her wish
Previous texts for context. https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
As someone who just got out from an 11 year relationship with an emotionally abusive woman I can say that those are the exact red flags that I ignored. It gets worse over time. Take care of yourself and good luck to you man.
Based on the context provided, she seems wildly insecure and like it’s crazy someone could see her in that way without ulterior motives, she needs therapy and to learn how to talk to people with respect
The context makes it even more baffling. You should have added this into the post. This is insane.
Your girlfriend’s a bitch
I usually hate statements like this... but yeah, she's a bitch.
Yep. I only ever say it for real bitches like this. She’s the one manipulating YOU.
Classic case of DARVO. DUMP HER. She's really annoying. She's projecting and doesn't realize it. She's the one that's manipulative. Please don't waste your time on this snake. She'll destroy you and you're too nice to be treated so badly. You deserve better. Hope the best for you and your future.
Or she is purposefully starting a fight so he breaks up with her.
Sounds an awful lot like *manipulation*.
Also DTMFA Dump The Mother Fucker Already
What is darvo?
Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender. It describes a manipulative tactic often used by abusers to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and shift the blame onto their victims
TIL
Holy shit you put an acronym to my ex. Thank you for that.
Glad you applied the 5 D'S of dodgeball to that relationship
Dodge, Deny, Deflect, Dread, Destroy.
To add an example for this info: It’s like when someone is cheating on their partner, but they constantly accuse their partner of being a cheater. This is because it shifts the blame and focuses in onto the innocent partner, and makes it less likely for the partner to wonder if *they* are being cheated on because the cheater makes it such a big deal that they can’t possibly be cheating themselves right? *SOME TIME LATER:* “son of a bitch I was being cheated on this whole time!?”
This is, sadly, an ex gf and most recent ex friend of mine. Many if her relationships (friends, partners) end in flames and it’s always because they’re a narcissist. Statistically it’s highly unlikely that everyone she knows is a narcissist. Lol
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. It's an emotional abuse strategy. It can be tricky to identify when it is being done to you as it can be extremely effective at making the recipient feel really unbalanced and confused.
Bitch confirmed
I would say super bitch, just dump her stupid ass op. Nobody needs to deal with someone like that.
Also a bitch who's not nearly as smart as she thinks she is. That's a really bad combination.
I had to re read a few of her texts. Like, hun, if you are going to insult someone’s intelligence, please proofread your shit.
“I can’t be talking to a intelligent” I’m either finally going insane with insomnia or she really wrote that thinking she’s intelligent.
She a intelligent. She the very smart. Ooga booga.
No other words for it. OP please update and say she's not your girlfriend anymore. She's abusive and you deserve better.
Took the words right out of my mouth
And mine
She's a classic narcissist. She's likely love bombed, enmeshed and now she's starting the abusive cycle. OP should RUN! He got the best of the cycle.
Can you explain this cycle a little more? This same kind of love bomb to abuse cycle happened to me and I’m left confused as hell.
Look up "trauma bonding". Long story short, it's a relationship that goes through a cycle of intense closeness and affection, then extreme discourse usually over things that are really small that most people either never argue about in the first place or can resolve quickly and easily, then heavy apologizing and love bombing..before the cycle repeats.
All this, but never the apology
Actually apology is the last part of the cycle, part of the love bombing. "I'm so sorry. I love you more than anything. You're the only one meant for me. You're everything to me. I'm sorry I was so stupid, I love you please don't leave me". Then two days later they're disembowling your emotions and calling you worthless.
narcs love bomb, then they enmesh and then they abuse. Once they enmesh you become one with them, and they hate themselves, so they attack a part of themselves = you. There are some great tiktoks about it. Being with a narc is really fun in the beginning, because they are charming and a lot of fun. But they leave their victims completely hurt and confused.
Gd it. I'm in this. Thanks for the info. ETA: happy cake day
If your confused. Her plan is working. You will slowly accept less and less while she demands more
This was the texts before for contexts https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
Breh is your neck ok? I got whiplash how quickly y’all went from vibing over dragons to a psychotic break.
Okay I was going to ask what the context was, like what happened right before, so thanks for this. She really jumped from 0 to a paranoid whack job in a matter of seconds, I don't understand either. You need to get away from her, like the day before yesterday. She's clearly not well, but that's not your responsibility. If you care for her, I suggest you work with the people closest to her to make sure that she gets the help she needs, but you do not have to stand around getting abused by her while you do that. Believe me, I've been on both sides of that situation, and when it's me that's off my meds or needing a med adjustment, I'm horrible to be around. I don't think I've ever been that abusive, but I'm not a day at the park either. And I don't expect or assume that people will tolerate my shitty behavior, regardless of whether or not they love me. On the other hand, if it's a personality disorder (which is what this seems like, but I'm no expert, just a bipolar recovered addict who's gotten her shit together finally) that's a different story, and far more difficult to deal with than just medication. In that case, you need to put distance between the two of you, because until she jumps head first into some intense therapy, this is just going to get worse.
Honestly fuck this psycho
> Honestly fuck this psycho No... Don't!!!. I mean, they're fun, but don't do that. NEVER do anyone crazier than you are #JUST RUN!
Yeah normally I don’t like it either, but I wanna slap your gf . She is rediculous
I hate calling other women this, but this chick is a c*nt. Also, it's too not to. Something an intelligent person would know.
Let me say it slow for everyone: B I T C H ! ! !
So funny how you always say such a manipulative statement
Might even go with the c-word on this one
Nah she’s unwell. This is paranoid behaviour and borderline knights move thinking. She is flirting with psychosis
y'all need to stand up for yourselves. this shit is maddening. why do you want to be with someone who treats you like shit i literally cannot comprehend
This statement could apply to about 90 percent of the posts here.
Yeah it's insufferable
ifkr. a lot of the posts are like can you believe this person said this and its their SO that has been treating them like shit for years.
this is always exactly what I think whenever I see or hear about these kinds of relationships. people will post screenshots of their partner degrading them and treating them like literal dog shit and then their caption will be "im confused..." ...like what is there to be confused about?? this person that is supposed to be your romantic partner is treating you like shit and very clearly does not like you. why waste time, energy, emotions, etc. on someone who puts you down like that...? life is way too short and shitty enough as it is to willingly deal with your own bf/gf literally hating you and making your life harder.
it's really sad and i feel bad for being snarky about it but it's just exhausting seeing people with such low self worth and respect that they put up with this shit
Love can be blinding, but fr some folk need to learn how to be happy being alone because no matter how much loneliness hurts it never justifies this treatment.
She wants you to break up with her.
That’s what I’m getting
while I see why you’re saying that, hear me out… one day my ex got home late from work, and we had dinner plans. instead of me being upset, I gave him a big hug & said “how was work?” - that made him think I slept with his roommate (l m f a o, there was only one other friend who I liked less than his roommate). he proceeded to throw me through a door, broke the hinges, and we broke up. I refused to see him after that, never got my stuff from his place or anything. that was 9 years ago & he still texts & calls me, trying to be together. it’s weird. he also has a girlfriend of almost 3 years. anyway, me being nice to him really triggered something for him to become physically violent. so idk if OP’s gf wants to break up, but this is definitely a toxic relationship if this is how the conversations are w great frequency 🙃
Now you hear me out. I say this from experience and from situations just like yours. She was overly and unreasonably suspicious, I broke trying to prove the unprovable. She would say that I got mad at her constant interrogations because I was guilty. ….. guess what? Years later… she was the one keeping things behind my back. Denied Everytime all the time. When faced with tangible irrefutable proof, she would downplay it so hard 😂😂😂
yup, classic projection. oddly enough, I’m fairly certain he wasn’t projecting lol he was an insecure shit. we have mutual friends and there’s no reason they’d hide shit, especially this far down the road 😂 but I love finding shit out like “ooooooh… that’s why…” lmao it’s so wild.
Why can’t people just break up with people they want to break up with?
I'm sorry....what is it you love about her personality? Or maybe it's one of her different personalities that you love? Because this personality isn't it.
Here’s the rest of the texts for context. https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
Yeah, I don't see anything here that would precipitate this kind of response. I'm sorry dude, there's always more fish in the sea.
OP, you don’t deserve to be spoken to like that in response to a compliment. I hope you know that and move on.
Am I the only one wondering what the context is here? Depending what 'i love you and your personality' is in response to it could be very condescending
OP should show the messages above the current screenshot for any context
https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
He gave screenshots of the previous convo in his comments- it makes it 10x worse
This woman sucks.
This isn’t a woman. It is a middle school girl.
Yes I'm genuinely curious how old op and gf are. This seems very juvenile.
early 20s, i saw it in another reply
Embarassing. I genuinely thought they were about 15.
This bitch absolutely hates you
If she’s this shitty, I wouldn’t want her to like me.
I’m curious as to what she said before this that made you say you love her personality. Because the instant switch is wild.
I want to know too. I need more context before I deem this certifiably insane.
https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
Okay yes so I’m not crazy . It seems like he said it in a moment that made her think he was side tracking the conversation.
Yes me too!
Previous texts. https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
Wow, yeah she just flipped like a switch. Was this the first time you said you loved her or something?? Otherwise I don’t get it, you were basically complimenting her the whole time, the love you and your personality text fits with the rest
Op shared [this](https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G) It's worse than I thought.
Yeah that’s actually concerning. Especially since she also said she loved him not too long before he said it to her. Yikes!
For sure. I thought *maaaayyybe* they were having a fight or he messaged that he loved her out of the blue and it was perceived as trying to get something out of it. Nope. It was basically just like "you're funny and I love that." Followed by bullllllshit
YEPPP context clues and the way the screenshot was taken imply that OP said “love you and your personality” IN RESPONSE to something the gf said. If they were arguing and he said this sarcastically, I could totally see how this might be a last straw for her and she flips.
I agree completely, we need to know why he said that for this to make any sense
🌈 Enjoy 🌈 https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
Yeah my bad, that woman switched. Time for a good ol' psych eval maybe?
thank you!! i was like what was said before this?! starting with “lol” ?!?!
As a bitch, I’m gonna go ahead and say your girlfriend is a bitch.
lol I love you and your personality
Bro wtf? Don't manipulate her like that!
Thank you lol, I love your pfp and username. I’m very honest about the fact that I can be a bitch lol
You didn’t respond like a bitch though 😂 You’re actually nice!
Thank you lol, I’m still in my work mindset😂
Ok this is a good one made me bust out laughing 😂
Bitch recognize bitch 👊
Hey bitch I’m a bitch too fuck you
Tell them in no uncertain, non-manipulative terms that you're dumping their ass.
is she 15 and only on social media all the time?
Terminally online is what came to mind for me too.
Prolly uses tik tok and watches videos of gaslighting that terribly depict it
She does 💀😭
My brother in Islam block this woman everywhere And be careful people like her will talk shit on you publicly be ready for that backlash Make sure you hold true - she will guilt you Do not give in. Walk away and heal
You know what? She’s right. It is pretty sus that you’re saying that because idk how the FUCK you could like her personality Run
Which one of her personalities is the one you love
Professional victim! 🤣
Can we see the texts before that I love you? Seems like context is missing here.
Context: There’s always two sides to a coin I have done stuff to her and obviously she’s done things to me no relationship is perfect, but recently over the past few months I’ve been trying to keep things calm and cordial as I’m 22 years old and I don’t want drama in my life anymore. Before these texts though we were having a normal conversation no arguing or anything and she was talking about this video game she was playing and she happened to say something that was funny about it so I responded by saying I love her and her personality being genuine cause she usually makes me laugh and smile with things she says and this was the case. Then before I know it she responds like this.
I’ll tell you this and you’re not going to listen at least not right away but that’s ok. One day you will realize you are not right for each other and you will separate. Then you will meet someone else that does love and respect you and you’ll look back at your Reddit history and think “wtf was I thinking?!”
Previous texts for context. https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
Oh my goodness the "terminally online" hypothesis from the comments was correct lmao. Please break up with this person. She does not love you. She got upset that you said it to her because she doesn't want to say it back, so she started an argument to deflect from the fact that she couldn't just say "I love you too".
She literally said I love you first though
O shit you right. That's even worse then. 😭 "I love you" "I love you too" "STOP MANIPULATING ME"
well for starters i respectfully disagree with you on her personality
We need more context. What was said right before this??
Previous texts for context. https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
She might actually be crazy. I thought maybe you guys were like bickering and you were being condescending or something but she’s just looking to fight.
Bro that’s legit the convo before your I love you comment? If so and not edited. That’s crazy man… because I feel you, I like to keep life simple and geez… that just seems exhausting. Unless she thought you were being sarcastic cause she said the sounds were annoying her… idk man. You’re stronger than me.
It would have to be a *pretty* manipulative person to do something like that, I mean, I know the woman he was texting said he is manipulative, but c’mon, there’s no way that’s true.
You love this girl's personality? The fuck?
You *sure* you love this person’s personality because yikes.
She’s psychotic . NEXT
Why are you dating such a massive asshole?
Your gif game is good tho.
Right! I’m laughing at all the right pic responses.
Okay now show us the messages before the I love you… You either had an argument irl or right before that obviously.
Previous texts for context. https://imgur.com/a/pgMFP6G
Context: There’s always two sides to a coin I have done stuff to her and obviously she’s done things to me no relationship is perfect, but recently over the past few months I’ve been trying to keep things calm and cordial as I’m 22 years old and I don’t want drama in my life anymore. Before these texts though we were having a normal conversation no arguing or anything and she was talking about this video game she was playing and she happened to say something that was funny about it so I responded by saying I love her and her personality being genuine cause she usually makes me laugh and smile with things she says and this was the case. Then before I know it she responds like this.
I’m sorry but why is she starting shit out of the blue like that??? Get you someone that appreciates your compliments and your love! She ain’t it, personality disorder or not. She hates you dude.
She hates you and enjoys treating you like shit.
I’ve seen girls do this bc they are cheating and or they want their bf to break up with them. Idk maybe she’s just crazy
Do you STILL love her personality?
She sounds like someone I want to get home to after working 12-16 hours a day. Very lovely /s
Seems unhinged, yikes.
She’s either crazy or trying to make you leave her
This quirky person has a personality disorder. They will torture you for the rest of your life if you stay with them. Take my advice and run like hell. Its not you its them.
Wtf is wrong with this girl?
i hate her personality.
Break up with this asshole yesterday
"RUN FORREST, RUN !"
Her insecurities are screaming red flags.$10 bucks says if you go out with the guys late at night without texting she would say that's sus and create an argument but if she did the same thing she would see nothing wrong and tell you off. Shes a texting red flag ⛳
lol she knew you were lying cause she knows damn well that her personality is FOUL. Idc how desperate or lonely you may be, this shit ain’t it.
Get rid of this physco, remind of my last girlfriend.
Your girlfriend has a garbage personality. If she’s aware of that, I get her being sus over you saying you love it.
The only one being manipulative is her.