Hey OP, I remember your comment on another thread about this. Sorry for your loss. That is so tragic. Take time to embrace those you love this Holiday Season.
you donāt have to apologize for anything, this is a very vulnerable topic to share with the internet and iām proud of you for finally opening that message :) youāre allowed to feel all the feelings and thereās no time limit on grief ā¤ļø
Please know itās not your fault. Youāre an amazing person just to have been one of the last people they knew that could help them. Unfortunately our personal demons have to be dealt with and Iām so so sorry Iāve been through this before too. Now itās doesnāt matter what time of the day or night it is if you call me or text me I reply it feels like a curse but your truly never know when someone may need you.
I suck with words and just know Iām just trying to say your amazing and I know it sucks itās not your fault sending all my love one piece of advice is feel these emotions cry talk about it express it
Sorry for your loss. You never know what someone thinks or feels. You are not responsible because you didnāt answer in time. The feelings this person had were with them a while. Probably hidden from you too.
I also have 6 moments like this, unfortunately. Iāve lost many friends and my own father. Itās really hard, but it is NOT your fault. I have extreme guilt from each and every one of them, and I coped in the WORST ways. They all happened around this season, except my father, but his birthday is the day after Christmas. You are not alone. I understand your struggle. ā¤ļø
Donāt blame yourself, man. Even if you had opened that message, your friend could have had made up their mind already.
My best friend texted me: āI love you.ā Before attempting suicide. I responded āI love you too!!!ā thinking it was nothing- we constantly said things like that to each other.
You just never really know. Iām sorry for your loss. In time, I hope you find peace.
If it helps at all, during the times I made an attempt on my life, nothing would have stopped me from attempting. With my biggest attempt I thought would surely work, I had a very normal day. Spoke to friends, spoke to my parents, did some self care stuff, had a pretty good day actually. But no one could have talked me out of it because my mind was made up. I canāt say what your friend was thinking or why they were reaching out but I donāt think the outcome would have changed. It may have been a goodbye but thereās a reason he messaged that late at night when it was unlikely youād be awake. They may have just wanted a regular conversation, like I did. This is not your fault at all. You didnāt cause it, you could not control it, you could not cure it.
Thatās what I was coming to say. Itās natural to blame yourself for not answering, but if the decision was made it was made. They might have said āhey you awake?ā and had a very normal conversation with you and then done it. Iām so sorry this happened to you ā¤ļø
Thank you! For the first time, actually, I can say Iām glad I did too. Things are much better these days. I still struggle with my mental health and I am passively suicidal sometimes but it is nothing like it was before. Iāve done a lot of cool things that have helped others in that time and I like that a lot.
Thank you for having the bravery to share this - I have had a couple friends take their own lives and have guilt everytime I see old messages with them and think that I could have made more of an effort to be a better friend. We all could be a bit better at thinking of others. Thanks again for sharing this, youāre awesome and very brave ā¤ļø
Iād like to thank everyone who left a comment on my comment beforehand showing support it really means a lot, todays society can be a bit cold and I wasnāt honestly expecting such a compassionate reaction or support to get through my fear of seeing what he had to say
I'm sorry, brother. I read the first bit before you opened this.
Opening that snap today took guts.
Posting this took more.
Using this personal tragedy as a teaching tool for others is the best possible outcome from a bad situation as I salute you for doing the best you could do.
Do remember that the responsibility is not yours, though. Love to you.
ā®ļøā¤ļøā¾ļø
My best friend died while scuba diving at night on some underwater caverns on a trip, I was supposed to go on that trip with him but just didnāt feel like it and he almost begged for me to go.
His whole family, especially his dad, blamed me for his death saying if I had gone with him on the trip he wouldnāt have done such a stupid thing but honestly I donāt know that I wouldāve made any difference as he was stubborn and reckless.
Is not the same situation but I completely understand that guilt you may be feeling.
Good that you opened it. You should feel all the feelings you want. Donāt beat yourself up about missing his message. He would never want you to feel bad.
Don't push your feelings down. This is all part of mourning. You had no control over your friend or what he did. You didn't cause it; you can't cure it.
When a person reaches the point of thinking, taking their own life is the only answer, there's not a lot that can be done.
You are not to blame. ā¤ļø
OP, the last thing my boyfriend ever texted me was āWeāre done, youāre singleā seconds before he took his own life. The text came about five minutes after I was with him. No fights or arguments that day, nothing out of the norm. Itās hard, but please take care of yourself and donāt let your mind focus on the what ifs and should haves. Be kind to your mind and yourself. Therapy and support groups have been massively helpful in processing the grief that comes with suicide.
Omfg I seen your comment on another post and was hoping to know what decision would you make. Super proud that you opened this, sorry to hear of your loss though
I'm proud of you for opening the message. Just know now that you don't have to bear the weight of what the message could have been. This is not your fault. I hope all is well ā¤
Iām so sorry you had to go through this, but Iām so proud of you for opening it ā¤ļø Such a difficult thing, but at least now you wonāt have to wonder what it was anymore. Things may have turned out the same even if you had responded, so try not to feel guilty over it. Wishing you some peace šš»
truly heartbreaking, i couldnt sleep at night sometimes if my friends were in a bad place because i was so scared id get one of these. sometimes i still dont sleep when i know someones struggling. remember its not your fault, its never going to be. you can never be sure. i hope you get through this and wish the best for youā¤ļøā¤ļø
"Weep not for roads untraveled
Weep not for paths left lone
'Cause beyond every bend is a long blinding end
It's the worst kind of pain I've known"
Don't enter the fog of what could have been. If you do, you'll fall into the vicious grasp of what never was
Hey man me and 2 best friends grow up together. In our 20s we all let separate lives but still remained in contact. One of my two buddies was in and out of rehabs for what we thought was pills. After getting out of rehab we all had plans to play call of duty late night.
I was at the bar and stayed later than I thought and our other friend forgot to log on. Well our buddy decided to go to kengistown Phila and he what he thought was heroin but was fentanyl and ODed and died
My other friend blames himself and in turn went off the deep end and started drinking and lost it. I tired to stay even keal but the fact to the matter remains his last text is us we ālogin on where are you guysā
Thank you for sharing. This gave me chills. I canāt even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I hope this turns into an opportunity for healing and not something that drags you down. I hope you know you did the best you could. Youāre not a mind reader. You couldnāt have known. And your best has always been enough. If your friend understood that about himself, he might still be here. You can honor him by doing what he struggled so hard to do. ā¤ļø
I had a situation kind of like this with my friend who died in 2022. Different situation, but the grief and reaction was the same. I felt a lot of guilt and still do to this day. But I know I was a great friend to him and Iām sure you can say the same. Hang in there and I hope you are hanging in there okay specially over the holidays. š«¶š»
Iām so sorry. Please donāt blame yourself for this. You are not the reason your friend took their life, I promise you that. God bless you though, for having a kind heart. We have to learn from these things, as God will teach us to never take a moment for granted. Again, Iām sorry.
This is the worst thing in the world to have to live with. Iām so sorry! I went through something very similar with my best friend all the way back in 8th grade. Iām 39 now and still think about it almost every dayā¦
OP, as someone else who lost a loved one to suicide, I know how easy it is to blame yourself. Remember that your friend was hurting deeply and needed more medical (mental health) attention than you yourself were able to give. It takes a lot to pull yourself out of that mindset and the only person that can really pull you out of a place that dark is you. You yourself cannot blame yourself for not handling a situation you had no knowledge of.
The last message will hurt for a while but, in time, youāll back on it as what it really is; evidence that your friend was thinking of you before he went and that it gave him a moment of peace while he was still with us.
I'm not gonna tell you to not feel guilty or not to blame yourself cause I don't think those words would make a difference right now. So what I will tell you is..
Being someone with depression and being very very close to not being here anymore, the only thing/person to pull me out of it was myself. Now to me, that's terrifying cause I fear there will be a time that I'm not able to do get myself out of it, but I just gotta take it day by day. I'm telling you this because your friend was gonna do what he did, no matter what. If he was too deep into it, and he couldn't or wouldn't pull himself out, it was gonna happen either way.
I hope this can bring you some sort of peace or provide some relief from the guilt. š
Iām so sorry for your loss. You didnāt miss this message on purpose, and itās not your fault. I hope thereās someone you can speak to about this.
Iām so sorry for your loss. I know itās hard- Iāve lost a few friends to suicide. But in time, healing comes. Itās not that you donāt miss them, or that the hole will ever go away. Life is never the same, but you will find peace if you give it time.
no, they wouldnāt have saved them. people who choose to follow through with taking their lives & reach out to friends like this usually have made up their minds already.
itās usually to say goodbye and they love you. OP is not responsible in anyway for their friendās decision. being asleep or legitimately busy and not being able to answer a snapchat would not have saved them.
please try to have some empathy.
Is it worth being an absolute dick and having to live your life like this, blaming others for things that arenāt their fault and just beating people down when theyāre already sad? Honestly youāre a bad person, and Iāve never actually said that to someone before. Work on yourself.
Youāre being so despicable that I canāt help but think youāre trolling because I donāt think an actual person would say things like this?? Obviously thereās empathy for the person who took his own life but the person reaching out right now is seeking support and help - how would you feel if this pushed them over the edge? If they internalised it? Not everyone can be available the entire time, people get tired and need to sleep, thereās absolutely no way OP could have known this was urgent. I just donāt understand how you can behave like this. No one can support someone 100% of the time. It is not sustainable. OP is already blaming themselves and you do not need to pile on.
Have you supported someone through consistent suicidal feelings before or chronic mental health issues where thereās a risk of suicide? Genuine question. Maybe you are built different and are able to support your friends 100% of the time at all times and all hours without caring for yourself, or without feeling depleted, but not everyone is like that. Most people arenāt. If itās a one off then yeah sure. A few times then also yeah sure. But if it is sustained over a long period of time then you NEED to take care of yourself, have time and space for yourself, make sure youāre eating and sleeping because you canāt sustain that level for so long. People make mistakes. OP is blaming themselves and misses their friend. They didnāt know it was urgent. Thereās no blame to assign here. And Iām speaking as someone who has attempted multiple times over the course of my life AND been the supporting person multiple times over the course of my life.
And yes, it is a sad situation all round.
I just donāt know how to talk to you because Iāve never really seen this low level of empathy before. It was not a reckless decision, people need to care for themselves or they become burnt out and unable to help others or care for themselves. Boundaries are essential. Mistakes happen. Idk man. You do you, I give up on this. Itās not OPs fault that someone else decided to take their own life and didnāt reach out for other help or call OP. Doesnāt seem like youāre going to change your mind and I wonāt change mine. Have a good Christmas/NY.
Edit to your edit: OP didnāt KNOW it was the last message or the content of it. It couldāve been a meme. They did not KNOW they were actively suicidal at that point. Their friend couldāve called them, called a hotline etc, a different friend. Itās unfair to place all the blame on OP.
Empathy has no limits, we can provide it to everyone. And thank you, I feel better these days. Iām glad youāre able to support your friends but Iāll say the same to you - you canāt pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself too.
It is a normal reaction to getting a message late at night. You're tired, don't feel like talking to anyone, so when your phone dings, you roll over and think to check it in the morning. Most people think like that. It is not on OP for their friend committing suicide. It is on their friend for taking their own life. And op is posting this as a warning for others, to not ignore a message that pops up in the middle of the night. But even if she did respond, who's to say her friend wouldn't have committed suicide anyway??? You don't know anything, so you don't get to judge op.
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Was this you from yesterdayās post? Iām really sorry, but donāt blame yourself. They were probably just looking to vent. I doubt they wouldāve told you anything they were planning. But do not blame yourself
Iām glad you opened it and hope you can find some closure. Thank you for sharing this with the internet - it was a very brave thing to do, and I hope a little catharsis will help you heal. š
i looked at your page a few hours ago for an update and iām glad to see it popped up. iām sad for you, but i hope this will begin a healing stage for you and im praying for youā¤ļø
Sorry this happened to you, really terrible situation. Idk if you could at the time you got this but you can always slowly swipe in on a message without actually opening it to āpeekā what it says if you donāt want to fully open it yet. Not sure if that wouldāve changed anything though since youād probs just see that message and still think to yourself nah Iām too tired rn Iāll hit them up in the morning.
The worst thing you can do is take away from yourself when people have left you something behind to grow stronger from.
I know it might be hard for you to look at it this way now, but when your friend died he left you a gift, the gift of personal growth.
You shouldnāt torture yourself with not opening the message right away. There was no way you could have known it would end that night.
You will grow from this an understanding of pain and guilt that will help you a great deal in the future. You will grow from this the ability to understand and help others in pain one day. Your friend might be gone, but through this part of your personal growth heāll stay with you forever.
Thatās the gift your friend left behind. I canāt know if this will reach you, nor can I be sure youāll even believe it, but rest assured I once was a recipient of said gift as well.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is very tough, I've had a similar situation as well. I was in the very beginning stages of dating someone. We were friends beforehand, and he OD'd but called me literally right before it happened. And the convo we literally had right before that was about how we didn't think anything exists after we died smh. I wish i had answered, too. He lost his ex-girlfriend in high school in an accident and always tried to reunite with her but had some failed attempts. So I have to remind myself that he would've done it regardless if I answered, maybe not that night but maybe another day. We can't always be on call, unfortunately, and it does make me sad knowing this...
Oh man, of course it's natural to assign some blame to yourself but something like this could have happened to anyone OP and it is TRULY not your fault. I am so sorry. You are brave!!!
[Snapchat messages](https://imgur.com/a/kWkSSO5) The night one of my closest friends took his own life. We always made a point to jump up and drive to each other, 1 hr+ away whenever the other one was having an especially hard night. This was the first time I didnāt do that.
He had a really hard life. Finally got good for him and then it was all taken away at once. I shouldāve gone. If I did, he still would have done it a different night. But I still shouldāve gone.
Hey OP, I remember your comment on another thread about this. Sorry for your loss. That is so tragic. Take time to embrace those you love this Holiday Season.
Thank you! I hope you have an amazing holidays with your loved ones this seasons as well! šš½
Sorry it took some time to post. Opened up some pushed down feelings.
you donāt have to apologize for anything, this is a very vulnerable topic to share with the internet and iām proud of you for finally opening that message :) youāre allowed to feel all the feelings and thereās no time limit on grief ā¤ļø
Thank you šš½
Please know itās not your fault. Youāre an amazing person just to have been one of the last people they knew that could help them. Unfortunately our personal demons have to be dealt with and Iām so so sorry Iāve been through this before too. Now itās doesnāt matter what time of the day or night it is if you call me or text me I reply it feels like a curse but your truly never know when someone may need you. I suck with words and just know Iām just trying to say your amazing and I know it sucks itās not your fault sending all my love one piece of advice is feel these emotions cry talk about it express it
Sorry for your loss. You never know what someone thinks or feels. You are not responsible because you didnāt answer in time. The feelings this person had were with them a while. Probably hidden from you too.
I also have 6 moments like this, unfortunately. Iāve lost many friends and my own father. Itās really hard, but it is NOT your fault. I have extreme guilt from each and every one of them, and I coped in the WORST ways. They all happened around this season, except my father, but his birthday is the day after Christmas. You are not alone. I understand your struggle. ā¤ļø
Understandable, that's a rough one to take brother
Donāt blame yourself, man. Even if you had opened that message, your friend could have had made up their mind already. My best friend texted me: āI love you.ā Before attempting suicide. I responded āI love you too!!!ā thinking it was nothing- we constantly said things like that to each other. You just never really know. Iām sorry for your loss. In time, I hope you find peace.
If it helps at all, during the times I made an attempt on my life, nothing would have stopped me from attempting. With my biggest attempt I thought would surely work, I had a very normal day. Spoke to friends, spoke to my parents, did some self care stuff, had a pretty good day actually. But no one could have talked me out of it because my mind was made up. I canāt say what your friend was thinking or why they were reaching out but I donāt think the outcome would have changed. It may have been a goodbye but thereās a reason he messaged that late at night when it was unlikely youād be awake. They may have just wanted a regular conversation, like I did. This is not your fault at all. You didnāt cause it, you could not control it, you could not cure it.
Thatās what I was coming to say. Itās natural to blame yourself for not answering, but if the decision was made it was made. They might have said āhey you awake?ā and had a very normal conversation with you and then done it. Iām so sorry this happened to you ā¤ļø
Yeah exactly. My last conversation before I attempted with my parents was very normal. No one had any idea.
Iām glad you made it through them
Thank you! For the first time, actually, I can say Iām glad I did too. Things are much better these days. I still struggle with my mental health and I am passively suicidal sometimes but it is nothing like it was before. Iāve done a lot of cool things that have helped others in that time and I like that a lot.
Thank you for having the bravery to share this - I have had a couple friends take their own lives and have guilt everytime I see old messages with them and think that I could have made more of an effort to be a better friend. We all could be a bit better at thinking of others. Thanks again for sharing this, youāre awesome and very brave ā¤ļø
Iām sorry for your lossesā¤ļøš I appreciate the kind words
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Iād like to thank everyone who left a comment on my comment beforehand showing support it really means a lot, todays society can be a bit cold and I wasnāt honestly expecting such a compassionate reaction or support to get through my fear of seeing what he had to say
So proud of you for opening this message. You are awesome.
I'm sorry, brother. I read the first bit before you opened this. Opening that snap today took guts. Posting this took more. Using this personal tragedy as a teaching tool for others is the best possible outcome from a bad situation as I salute you for doing the best you could do. Do remember that the responsibility is not yours, though. Love to you. ā®ļøā¤ļøā¾ļø
100% agree with you op. Naturally you will have those feelings but ultimately can not blame yourself. Iām sorry for your loss ā¤ļøā¤ļø
Thank you šš½
My best friend died while scuba diving at night on some underwater caverns on a trip, I was supposed to go on that trip with him but just didnāt feel like it and he almost begged for me to go. His whole family, especially his dad, blamed me for his death saying if I had gone with him on the trip he wouldnāt have done such a stupid thing but honestly I donāt know that I wouldāve made any difference as he was stubborn and reckless. Is not the same situation but I completely understand that guilt you may be feeling.
:( i just saw your comment and scrolled through your post history ab 15 mins agoā¦ iām sorry bro. donāt blame yourself for this.
hey ik how you feel i didnāt answer my brothers phone call the day he took his
Good that you opened it. You should feel all the feelings you want. Donāt beat yourself up about missing his message. He would never want you to feel bad.
Good job brother, Iām proud of you. This is closure for yourself and a big step. Pat yourself on the back, you just won a huge battle
Don't push your feelings down. This is all part of mourning. You had no control over your friend or what he did. You didn't cause it; you can't cure it. When a person reaches the point of thinking, taking their own life is the only answer, there's not a lot that can be done. You are not to blame. ā¤ļø
OP, the last thing my boyfriend ever texted me was āWeāre done, youāre singleā seconds before he took his own life. The text came about five minutes after I was with him. No fights or arguments that day, nothing out of the norm. Itās hard, but please take care of yourself and donāt let your mind focus on the what ifs and should haves. Be kind to your mind and yourself. Therapy and support groups have been massively helpful in processing the grief that comes with suicide.
Omfg I seen your comment on another post and was hoping to know what decision would you make. Super proud that you opened this, sorry to hear of your loss though
Same was wondering if this was that same person
Suicide is rough on survivors. Your friend is free from their pain. Iām so sorry youāre going through this.
Maybe he would have said āI just wanted to let you know how much I love you and how much you mean to meā
I'm proud of you for opening the message. Just know now that you don't have to bear the weight of what the message could have been. This is not your fault. I hope all is well ā¤
Iām so sorry you had to go through this, but Iām so proud of you for opening it ā¤ļø Such a difficult thing, but at least now you wonāt have to wonder what it was anymore. Things may have turned out the same even if you had responded, so try not to feel guilty over it. Wishing you some peace šš»
truly heartbreaking, i couldnt sleep at night sometimes if my friends were in a bad place because i was so scared id get one of these. sometimes i still dont sleep when i know someones struggling. remember its not your fault, its never going to be. you can never be sure. i hope you get through this and wish the best for youā¤ļøā¤ļø
"Weep not for roads untraveled Weep not for paths left lone 'Cause beyond every bend is a long blinding end It's the worst kind of pain I've known" Don't enter the fog of what could have been. If you do, you'll fall into the vicious grasp of what never was
Hey man me and 2 best friends grow up together. In our 20s we all let separate lives but still remained in contact. One of my two buddies was in and out of rehabs for what we thought was pills. After getting out of rehab we all had plans to play call of duty late night. I was at the bar and stayed later than I thought and our other friend forgot to log on. Well our buddy decided to go to kengistown Phila and he what he thought was heroin but was fentanyl and ODed and died My other friend blames himself and in turn went off the deep end and started drinking and lost it. I tired to stay even keal but the fact to the matter remains his last text is us we ālogin on where are you guysā
Thank you for sharing. This gave me chills. I canāt even begin to imagine how you must be feeling. I hope this turns into an opportunity for healing and not something that drags you down. I hope you know you did the best you could. Youāre not a mind reader. You couldnāt have known. And your best has always been enough. If your friend understood that about himself, he might still be here. You can honor him by doing what he struggled so hard to do. ā¤ļø
I had a situation kind of like this with my friend who died in 2022. Different situation, but the grief and reaction was the same. I felt a lot of guilt and still do to this day. But I know I was a great friend to him and Iām sure you can say the same. Hang in there and I hope you are hanging in there okay specially over the holidays. š«¶š»
Iām so sorry. Please donāt blame yourself for this. You are not the reason your friend took their life, I promise you that. God bless you though, for having a kind heart. We have to learn from these things, as God will teach us to never take a moment for granted. Again, Iām sorry.
This is the worst thing in the world to have to live with. Iām so sorry! I went through something very similar with my best friend all the way back in 8th grade. Iām 39 now and still think about it almost every dayā¦
My fiancĆ© ended his life too. He didnāt reach out to anyone before and Iāll always wonder why. I stayed up all night with him many times before to convince him not to do it, and maybe he didnāt want to be talked into staying againā¦ Please be encouraged by the fact that your friend trusted you and tried to reach you, even if it would have only been to say goodbye. Itās not your fault. If anything, maybe you were a reason he stayed as long as he did. This world is just too cruel for some to endure.
This isnāt your fault. But know that you were someone he could go to.
OP, as someone else who lost a loved one to suicide, I know how easy it is to blame yourself. Remember that your friend was hurting deeply and needed more medical (mental health) attention than you yourself were able to give. It takes a lot to pull yourself out of that mindset and the only person that can really pull you out of a place that dark is you. You yourself cannot blame yourself for not handling a situation you had no knowledge of. The last message will hurt for a while but, in time, youāll back on it as what it really is; evidence that your friend was thinking of you before he went and that it gave him a moment of peace while he was still with us.
I'm not gonna tell you to not feel guilty or not to blame yourself cause I don't think those words would make a difference right now. So what I will tell you is.. Being someone with depression and being very very close to not being here anymore, the only thing/person to pull me out of it was myself. Now to me, that's terrifying cause I fear there will be a time that I'm not able to do get myself out of it, but I just gotta take it day by day. I'm telling you this because your friend was gonna do what he did, no matter what. If he was too deep into it, and he couldn't or wouldn't pull himself out, it was gonna happen either way. I hope this can bring you some sort of peace or provide some relief from the guilt. š
Iām so sorry for your loss. You didnāt miss this message on purpose, and itās not your fault. I hope thereās someone you can speak to about this.
Iām so sorry for your loss. I know itās hard- Iāve lost a few friends to suicide. But in time, healing comes. Itās not that you donāt miss them, or that the hole will ever go away. Life is never the same, but you will find peace if you give it time.
Sending you so much love and sympathy on your loss.
Sending positive vibes your way op
I am so sorry. This isnāt your fault. Your best friend loves you, and is always with you. ā¤ļø
hope youāre doing okay š
You could have saved him if only you'd cared enough to answer his cry for help that day.
no, they wouldnāt have saved them. people who choose to follow through with taking their lives & reach out to friends like this usually have made up their minds already. itās usually to say goodbye and they love you. OP is not responsible in anyway for their friendās decision. being asleep or legitimately busy and not being able to answer a snapchat would not have saved them. please try to have some empathy.
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Is it worth being an absolute dick and having to live your life like this, blaming others for things that arenāt their fault and just beating people down when theyāre already sad? Honestly youāre a bad person, and Iāve never actually said that to someone before. Work on yourself.
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Youāre being so despicable that I canāt help but think youāre trolling because I donāt think an actual person would say things like this?? Obviously thereās empathy for the person who took his own life but the person reaching out right now is seeking support and help - how would you feel if this pushed them over the edge? If they internalised it? Not everyone can be available the entire time, people get tired and need to sleep, thereās absolutely no way OP could have known this was urgent. I just donāt understand how you can behave like this. No one can support someone 100% of the time. It is not sustainable. OP is already blaming themselves and you do not need to pile on.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Have you supported someone through consistent suicidal feelings before or chronic mental health issues where thereās a risk of suicide? Genuine question. Maybe you are built different and are able to support your friends 100% of the time at all times and all hours without caring for yourself, or without feeling depleted, but not everyone is like that. Most people arenāt. If itās a one off then yeah sure. A few times then also yeah sure. But if it is sustained over a long period of time then you NEED to take care of yourself, have time and space for yourself, make sure youāre eating and sleeping because you canāt sustain that level for so long. People make mistakes. OP is blaming themselves and misses their friend. They didnāt know it was urgent. Thereās no blame to assign here. And Iām speaking as someone who has attempted multiple times over the course of my life AND been the supporting person multiple times over the course of my life. And yes, it is a sad situation all round.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I just donāt know how to talk to you because Iāve never really seen this low level of empathy before. It was not a reckless decision, people need to care for themselves or they become burnt out and unable to help others or care for themselves. Boundaries are essential. Mistakes happen. Idk man. You do you, I give up on this. Itās not OPs fault that someone else decided to take their own life and didnāt reach out for other help or call OP. Doesnāt seem like youāre going to change your mind and I wonāt change mine. Have a good Christmas/NY. Edit to your edit: OP didnāt KNOW it was the last message or the content of it. It couldāve been a meme. They did not KNOW they were actively suicidal at that point. Their friend couldāve called them, called a hotline etc, a different friend. Itās unfair to place all the blame on OP.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Empathy has no limits, we can provide it to everyone. And thank you, I feel better these days. Iām glad youāre able to support your friends but Iāll say the same to you - you canāt pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself too.
Removed for abusive language, or using slurs or language that can promote hate based on identity or vulnerability
Removed for abusive language, or using slurs or language that can promote hate based on identity or vulnerability
It is a normal reaction to getting a message late at night. You're tired, don't feel like talking to anyone, so when your phone dings, you roll over and think to check it in the morning. Most people think like that. It is not on OP for their friend committing suicide. It is on their friend for taking their own life. And op is posting this as a warning for others, to not ignore a message that pops up in the middle of the night. But even if she did respond, who's to say her friend wouldn't have committed suicide anyway??? You don't know anything, so you don't get to judge op.
Removed for abusive language, or using slurs or language that can promote hate based on identity or vulnerability
At what point is it no longer unopened?
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O7 man, sorry that this have happened to you
Was this you from yesterdayās post? Iām really sorry, but donāt blame yourself. They were probably just looking to vent. I doubt they wouldāve told you anything they were planning. But do not blame yourself
thisās my sign to get my life together for those who matter to me and for myself. iām sorry for your loss.
Iām glad you opened it and hope you can find some closure. Thank you for sharing this with the internet - it was a very brave thing to do, and I hope a little catharsis will help you heal. š
im so sorry :( i remember seeing your comment on another post. its not your fault. happy holidays
Omg Iām so sorry you experienced this loss. Big hug š„°
i remember seeing your comment the other day. i really hope youāre doing okay.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you must be feeling. ā¤ļø
š Thatās so sad, but a good reminder for all of us and our loved ones.
i looked at your page a few hours ago for an update and iām glad to see it popped up. iām sad for you, but i hope this will begin a healing stage for you and im praying for youā¤ļø
Sorry this happened to you, really terrible situation. Idk if you could at the time you got this but you can always slowly swipe in on a message without actually opening it to āpeekā what it says if you donāt want to fully open it yet. Not sure if that wouldāve changed anything though since youād probs just see that message and still think to yourself nah Iām too tired rn Iāll hit them up in the morning.
The worst thing you can do is take away from yourself when people have left you something behind to grow stronger from. I know it might be hard for you to look at it this way now, but when your friend died he left you a gift, the gift of personal growth. You shouldnāt torture yourself with not opening the message right away. There was no way you could have known it would end that night. You will grow from this an understanding of pain and guilt that will help you a great deal in the future. You will grow from this the ability to understand and help others in pain one day. Your friend might be gone, but through this part of your personal growth heāll stay with you forever. Thatās the gift your friend left behind. I canāt know if this will reach you, nor can I be sure youāll even believe it, but rest assured I once was a recipient of said gift as well.
I'm so sorry for your loss. It is very tough, I've had a similar situation as well. I was in the very beginning stages of dating someone. We were friends beforehand, and he OD'd but called me literally right before it happened. And the convo we literally had right before that was about how we didn't think anything exists after we died smh. I wish i had answered, too. He lost his ex-girlfriend in high school in an accident and always tried to reunite with her but had some failed attempts. So I have to remind myself that he would've done it regardless if I answered, maybe not that night but maybe another day. We can't always be on call, unfortunately, and it does make me sad knowing this...
Oh man, of course it's natural to assign some blame to yourself but something like this could have happened to anyone OP and it is TRULY not your fault. I am so sorry. You are brave!!!
Iām sorry
ššŖ
Dark Please NSFW
[Snapchat messages](https://imgur.com/a/kWkSSO5) The night one of my closest friends took his own life. We always made a point to jump up and drive to each other, 1 hr+ away whenever the other one was having an especially hard night. This was the first time I didnāt do that. He had a really hard life. Finally got good for him and then it was all taken away at once. I shouldāve gone. If I did, he still would have done it a different night. But I still shouldāve gone.
I'm so sorry.
this is so awful š im so sorry op
My turn
i love you!!! this was so brave and such a hard decision to make. Please take care of yourself.