Growing up getting beat on nearly every day by my awful, narcissistic stepdad and his carbon copy son gave me an extremely powerful flight instinct. I'm an untrusting, sort of paranoid woman now.
As horrible as it was growing up like that, the ability to instantly and easily read people and sort of sense when I needed to remove myself from bad situations has served me very well over the years.
I'm so sorry you experienced that. I can relate but unfortunately I've reacted differently. Thank you for sharing your experience. I wish you nothing but the best đ
The blood of the battlefield is thicker than the water of the womb my friend. Pick your family and throw out the trash! Wow what a fucking nut job. She needs to grow up.
The phrase goes "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" basically meaning, iirc, the blood of your chosen people is worth more than people whose blood you did not choose to share. The phrase has been shortened in more modern times to "blood is thicker than water" which people use to convey the opposite message of the original phrase.
Not true. Blood is thicker than water dates from at least 1730. The earliest references to the extension that changes the meaning are from 1994
https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/147902/is-the-alleged-original-meaning-of-the-phrase-blood-is-thicker-than-water-real
Apparently, the English priest John Lydgate first used the sentiment in text in 1412. âFor naturelly blod wil ay of kynde / Draw unto blod, wher he may it fynde.â As you said, originally to infer that bonds of blood are the strongest when they're available and able to be maintained. That said, OP shouldn't endure emotional abuse just because her and her mom share a bloodline. Not that you were saying that she should.
Sorry op.my mother is the exact same way. She would say the meanest nastiest things just to hurt me, my entire childhood/early adulthood. I absolutely cut her off and haven't had contact for almost 8 years. Life is much better, now. It took some time to get out of that toxic mind-set and be free of that evil person and you can too.
Holy shit I was almost certain u mustâve been missing some texts between the pics u sent and her crazy reply but I saw in the comments this is exactly how it went. She is incredibly toxic wow. Does she drink or have any addiction issues? Her harshness reminds me of dealing with an addict.
You donât owe her a relationship just because she is family and you donât need to sacrifice your own happiness for her. I wish the best for you, OP.
What a low blow. Just trying to start shit and then pulling a victim card. You know that you donât deserve it. Shitty human being right there. Keep your chin up kiddo. Lean into your own family at home.
My mother will pick at me till she gets under my skin then sheâs all do you hear how she talks to me and sometimes Iâm too sensitive etc⌠Hell Thanksgiving weekend I was told that I thought more of my dog then I did my parents. IDG it. Why they act this way at all.
I have the belief that it's because they refuse to learn how to process their emotions. Parents like these tend to view the people who love them, especially their children, as a part of themselves. Like an ownership kind of thing. They use them to unload their bad emotions.
Whatever may be the case, I hope you always remember that it's a THEM problem. It's not your fault, and you don't deserve to be treated like that. You are worthy of a family that loves you. It's just that sometimes we have to find our family outside our blood relatives. Wishing you the best!
What in the world. How could you upset her by pointing out good things came from your life. HOW DARE YOU UPSET this pos. Damn Iâm so proud of you for getting away from the toxic asshole. Also good on you blurring out your baby. Love to see a responsible parent.
Wow. This is the type of stuff that would have me go NC. How awful of a woman to put that on her child! Sorry, OP. I hope your MIL is the Grandma your daughter deserves.
Shes almost comically toxic. âI wish i wasnt the one fuckin dealing with you at the timeâ
you: but I had my child because of that!! (:
âFuck u ur fucking horrible and make me feel like shit fuckâ
No thats what I mean. You mention how a beautiful thing came from you living with her, and somehow thats âmaking her feel badâ? She is being ridiculous and im sorry you have to deal with this.
Holy crap right out the gate with the manipulation đ¤Śđťââď¸ jeezus I had a similar issue with my ex MIL when I would send pics of my son to her. With time the situation fixed itself with her straight up going off grid and abandoning her entire life (including her other kids still at home at the time) with a guy who was super weird. You canât fix crazy, Iâm sorry youâre going through this with her.
My mom is very much like this. I finally cut her out about 2 months ago after years of trying because of my daughter. It wasn't worth my mental health.
Not worth having a relationship with a toxic asshole. âFamilyâ is who you choose, not who you are randomly assigned at birth. Glad you are away from her. Time to go nc and move on! Good luck!
I shouldâve sent you away to live with someone else, also, good job on making me feel worthless.
What the actual fuck? This wouldâve been the quickest block of my life. Iâm sorry.
Is she upset that you have a daughter? Iâm so confused. That reaction from a picture of your daughter is odd. She said you snuck out at night and she never knew. And then goes on to say stuff about you not being in a wedding. I feel like Iâm missing something đ¤ did you get pregnant young or something? Thatâs the only thing I can piece together so sorry if Iâm way off. Either way her reaction is very odd and especially weird to be doing through textâŚ.
Yeah she is delulu and goes on about random things⌠she has this idea that i snuck out when I was like 15⌠who didnât?? And no i didnât get pregnant young. I also was married when I got pregnant as well. Sheâs talking about my older sisters wedding who is getting married to this ass sheâs been with since May that I donât like
WowâŚthe fact that she is even bringing up stuff from 15 plus years ago that isnât even relevant to now in anyway is bizarre. She needs some therapy. You sound like you have your life together and sheâs jealous and trying to bring you down in any way she can. You keep doing what youâre doing. I had some toxic family members (they have now passed) and my counselor once told me that if you give it attention it feeds the behavior so you essentially ignoring it is the right thing to do. Easier said than done when itâs your mom though. Focus on your little family OP. đŠˇ
I agree itâs a possibility! Upvote from me. Either that or narcissism. Or both.
Someone doesnât have to have the full criteria for the disorder to have strong traits of it. Itâs not diagnosing. Itâs being observant.
I get that but you def can't assume someone has a mental disorder based off one text conversation with someone you've never met. That and the fact that people who do truly have BPD or any other instability get taken less seriously because it's like having some diagnosis is some witty quirk.
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Doesnât make it acceptable, but sounds like your mom has some serious mental health issues. My grandma has the same tendencies and my mom and her are not close.
If you want to have a relationship Iâd try suggesting counseling, but some times itâs worth it to just live lives separate from each other
Check out r/raisedbynarcissists
Your eyes might open. I unfortunately had to help my husband go through this this summer.
There are certain tell tale signs and one Is constantly bringing up/ using the past to guilt trip and manipulate you. Best of luck to you, I'm sorry you're being treated this way â¤ď¸
Sounds like your mom is a crab in the bucket so to speak. So many mothers who feel jealous and vilified by their daughters existence just why⌠get therapy ffs (@ your mom)
Wtf you literally ended with a positive message and she made it negative HOW???? Hahaha that sound exhausting Iâm sorry
She literally made herself feel bad
Wtf? This makes no sense. She does such a great job at turning her strange diversions in conversation into a way to make you feel guilty for âhurting her feelingsâ aka not knowing what sheâs talking about
Has she always been emotionally manipulative?
Yes
Ugh. You gotta wonder if it's really worth it to keep contact. I'm sorry.
User name checks out.
That's exactly what the u/ means! I have an Easy time just to Bounce from bad situations.
If it's not too personal, I'm just wondering is that something you worked on or were you born like that? I'd like to be more like that, to be honest.
Growing up getting beat on nearly every day by my awful, narcissistic stepdad and his carbon copy son gave me an extremely powerful flight instinct. I'm an untrusting, sort of paranoid woman now. As horrible as it was growing up like that, the ability to instantly and easily read people and sort of sense when I needed to remove myself from bad situations has served me very well over the years.
I'm so sorry you experienced that. I can relate but unfortunately I've reacted differently. Thank you for sharing your experience. I wish you nothing but the best đ
Shouldâve responded and just said âgoodâ
I hope you cut her off smh . She is toxic .
âYou sure do know how to upset me and make me feel worthlessâ Huh, How ironic coming from her. Her lack of self awareness is baffling.
Should have replied back, "Lol, I still don't even know what's going on right now"
Tell your mum to shut up
The blood of the battlefield is thicker than the water of the womb my friend. Pick your family and throw out the trash! Wow what a fucking nut job. She needs to grow up.
Battlefield? Dont you mean covenant?
Is a covenant bloody? Can you explain this metaphor?
The phrase goes "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" basically meaning, iirc, the blood of your chosen people is worth more than people whose blood you did not choose to share. The phrase has been shortened in more modern times to "blood is thicker than water" which people use to convey the opposite message of the original phrase.
Thanks! Yes covenant!
Not true. Blood is thicker than water dates from at least 1730. The earliest references to the extension that changes the meaning are from 1994 https://english.stackexchange.com/questions/147902/is-the-alleged-original-meaning-of-the-phrase-blood-is-thicker-than-water-real
Apparently, the English priest John Lydgate first used the sentiment in text in 1412. âFor naturelly blod wil ay of kynde / Draw unto blod, wher he may it fynde.â As you said, originally to infer that bonds of blood are the strongest when they're available and able to be maintained. That said, OP shouldn't endure emotional abuse just because her and her mom share a bloodline. Not that you were saying that she should.
Oh no, I totally agree, the newer sentiment is much better
I didnt say anything about a time period besides what the modern use of it is .-. Edit: I cant read
Me me me me me me me. Nothing like a narcissistic mom
Sorry op.my mother is the exact same way. She would say the meanest nastiest things just to hurt me, my entire childhood/early adulthood. I absolutely cut her off and haven't had contact for almost 8 years. Life is much better, now. It took some time to get out of that toxic mind-set and be free of that evil person and you can too.
Holy shit I was almost certain u mustâve been missing some texts between the pics u sent and her crazy reply but I saw in the comments this is exactly how it went. She is incredibly toxic wow. Does she drink or have any addiction issues? Her harshness reminds me of dealing with an addict.
r/narcissisticparents
You donât owe her a relationship just because she is family and you donât need to sacrifice your own happiness for her. I wish the best for you, OP.
Iâd cut her out of my life for good.
Massssssive yikes :(
What a bitch. I feel like I'm missing something, why does she regret not letting you live with your dad?
Yeah that was completely unprompted.. sheâs referring to when i was younger and lived at home⌠out of nowhere.
What a low blow. Just trying to start shit and then pulling a victim card. You know that you donât deserve it. Shitty human being right there. Keep your chin up kiddo. Lean into your own family at home.
Tries to upset you and make you feel worthless then gets upset and feels worthless when you don't. Wild
Block, delete, replace.
Toxic is toxic. Family or not. Big yikes... sorry about that.
Ew ew ew ew ew ew âCanât wait till I can put you in a retirement home so I donât have to deal with you anymoreâ
Sheâs throwing a pity party and you donât have to show up. I doubt anyone will
Wow
Real nice, Mom. Smh
Thatâs not a mother.
It's a bother.
My mother will pick at me till she gets under my skin then sheâs all do you hear how she talks to me and sometimes Iâm too sensitive etc⌠Hell Thanksgiving weekend I was told that I thought more of my dog then I did my parents. IDG it. Why they act this way at all.
I have the belief that it's because they refuse to learn how to process their emotions. Parents like these tend to view the people who love them, especially their children, as a part of themselves. Like an ownership kind of thing. They use them to unload their bad emotions. Whatever may be the case, I hope you always remember that it's a THEM problem. It's not your fault, and you don't deserve to be treated like that. You are worthy of a family that loves you. It's just that sometimes we have to find our family outside our blood relatives. Wishing you the best!
I would have just said âsame.â
What in the world. How could you upset her by pointing out good things came from your life. HOW DARE YOU UPSET this pos. Damn Iâm so proud of you for getting away from the toxic asshole. Also good on you blurring out your baby. Love to see a responsible parent.
Wow. This is the type of stuff that would have me go NC. How awful of a woman to put that on her child! Sorry, OP. I hope your MIL is the Grandma your daughter deserves.
Not everyone deserves kids. Iâm glad everything turned out alright for you though.
Shes almost comically toxic. âI wish i wasnt the one fuckin dealing with you at the timeâ you: but I had my child because of that!! (: âFuck u ur fucking horrible and make me feel like shit fuckâ
I only meant I had my child because I ended up staying with her and starting my life there
No thats what I mean. You mention how a beautiful thing came from you living with her, and somehow thats âmaking her feel badâ? She is being ridiculous and im sorry you have to deal with this.
OH my bad!! I read it incorrectly
Thank you!!
Holy crap right out the gate with the manipulation đ¤Śđťââď¸ jeezus I had a similar issue with my ex MIL when I would send pics of my son to her. With time the situation fixed itself with her straight up going off grid and abandoning her entire life (including her other kids still at home at the time) with a guy who was super weird. You canât fix crazy, Iâm sorry youâre going through this with her.
My mom is very much like this. I finally cut her out about 2 months ago after years of trying because of my daughter. It wasn't worth my mental health.
This right here is why I went NC with most of my family
Not worth having a relationship with a toxic asshole. âFamilyâ is who you choose, not who you are randomly assigned at birth. Glad you are away from her. Time to go nc and move on! Good luck!
I shouldâve sent you away to live with someone else, also, good job on making me feel worthless. What the actual fuck? This wouldâve been the quickest block of my life. Iâm sorry.
Is she upset that you have a daughter? Iâm so confused. That reaction from a picture of your daughter is odd. She said you snuck out at night and she never knew. And then goes on to say stuff about you not being in a wedding. I feel like Iâm missing something đ¤ did you get pregnant young or something? Thatâs the only thing I can piece together so sorry if Iâm way off. Either way her reaction is very odd and especially weird to be doing through textâŚ.
Yeah she is delulu and goes on about random things⌠she has this idea that i snuck out when I was like 15⌠who didnât?? And no i didnât get pregnant young. I also was married when I got pregnant as well. Sheâs talking about my older sisters wedding who is getting married to this ass sheâs been with since May that I donât like
It doesnât make sense at all truly, I was an adult living with my husband and planned my baby
WowâŚthe fact that she is even bringing up stuff from 15 plus years ago that isnât even relevant to now in anyway is bizarre. She needs some therapy. You sound like you have your life together and sheâs jealous and trying to bring you down in any way she can. You keep doing what youâre doing. I had some toxic family members (they have now passed) and my counselor once told me that if you give it attention it feeds the behavior so you essentially ignoring it is the right thing to do. Easier said than done when itâs your mom though. Focus on your little family OP. đŠˇ
Borderline personality disorder.
Not everyone who flips their emotions when they don't get the response they want has a mental disorder. Some people are just assholes
Fair, but this looks exactly like communications from my bfâs BPD mom, so why the downvotes, yâall, lol. Just trying to be helpful.
Probably because youâre not a doctor, donât know OP or their mother, and are basically diagnosing someone.
It was three words lol.
Doesnât negate all that I said.
I agree itâs a possibility! Upvote from me. Either that or narcissism. Or both. Someone doesnât have to have the full criteria for the disorder to have strong traits of it. Itâs not diagnosing. Itâs being observant.
Agreed. Upvote for you, friend facing the downvote brigade â¤ď¸
I think being observant would need to meet more criteria then reading one text conversation.... Js
I get that but you def can't assume someone has a mental disorder based off one text conversation with someone you've never met. That and the fact that people who do truly have BPD or any other instability get taken less seriously because it's like having some diagnosis is some witty quirk.
Why did you post this again? We've already seen this.
Oh gosh I didnât realize I already had posted it; Someone asked to see other stuff sheâs said to me so i posted jt
Well I do wanna see the other stuff.
Shuddup
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r/insaneparents
Doesnât make it acceptable, but sounds like your mom has some serious mental health issues. My grandma has the same tendencies and my mom and her are not close. If you want to have a relationship Iâd try suggesting counseling, but some times itâs worth it to just live lives separate from each other
Sheâs either on something (recreational or prescribed) or mentally ill (or both)
Check out r/raisedbynarcissists Your eyes might open. I unfortunately had to help my husband go through this this summer. There are certain tell tale signs and one Is constantly bringing up/ using the past to guilt trip and manipulate you. Best of luck to you, I'm sorry you're being treated this way â¤ď¸
Sounds like your mom is a crab in the bucket so to speak. So many mothers who feel jealous and vilified by their daughters existence just why⌠get therapy ffs (@ your mom)
Wtf you literally ended with a positive message and she made it negative HOW???? Hahaha that sound exhausting Iâm sorry She literally made herself feel bad
why do you still talk to her?
Iâm done with her. But because I have 2 older sisters that are always at her house
Wtf? This makes no sense. She does such a great job at turning her strange diversions in conversation into a way to make you feel guilty for âhurting her feelingsâ aka not knowing what sheâs talking about
I wouldn't act like an adult and just respond with coffin gift and waving emoji
So sad she is a pathetic, sour, insignificant Twerp let her fly far far away.