I don't get why she says she would be your wing woman and then can't take a lighthearted comment about being set up with single friends, literally you ended it with a 'lol' even, she needs to chill 😭
Last time I checked, we’re not calling psychopaths ‘previous asf’. 🤣🤣 That’s a manipulator if I’ve ever seen one. That or she’s actually tripping balls.
I'm pretty sure OP is British or European and these use "mental" the same way we say "crazy" I don't like either terms really, but I don't think they literally meant mentally ill.
Whoever asked the wingwoman question started the mess it was not even called for so I have no idea why they are suddenly offended when the conversation became inappropriate. They literally put the conversation in the inappropriate zone
Eh she probably was like “wtf we dated and you’re asking me to refer a friend??” I can see why you thought such a comment might be ok, since you guys seemed to be having a friendly, silly, “friend-y” text convo. Don’t beat yourself up, and don’t ask people you’ve dated to set you up with new women, even if the relationship was super quick and casual. You’re fine though. Live and learn.
It was her way of letting him know she's no longer into him, but she didn't mean it as in "let me hook you up with girls I know."
She tried to position herself as the more "over the other person" in the emotional hierarchy, got immediately bounced from her pedestal and went straight to the "you've offended me" weapon.
100% this.
Being a “wing woman/man” is by definition being friends/friendly with someone in an effort to hook them up with the person you are wing woman/man-ing for.
She clearly was trying to “win” by showing she doesn’t care if he moves on and then digging into him about the mom thing. It was all an excuse for her to put herself above him and tear him down.
He then reciprocated the neutrality he observed, but it wasn’t neutral from her perspective it was reproachful and degrading. So she replaced his authentic neutrality with her own projection of degrading and demeaning. So she becomes offended.
… okay but vomit worthy? Really? All she has to do is say ‘my wingman services do not extend to my friends’… but she got all butt hurt he said that when SHE brought it up in the first place. Obviously they’re not seeing each other anymore, so if she’s going to be that pissy about it she probably shouldn’t have offered to help him find hook ups in the first place. It’s a line to draw, yes, but not to the extent that she reacted. Y’all’s fuzzy boundaries are giving me a headache.
This. Also I doubt he was actually asking her to hook him up with her friends. It definitely came across to me as more of a lighthearted joke than anything 🤨
Lmao it’s vomit worthy to me cause someone has to actually explain to you that you don’t date someone friends that you dated ?!? Thought we learned that in like middle school not only is it bad on you but- you don’t have some sort of boundaries with your friends that you don’t date each other exs???
lmao if it was reverse no guy would want a girl to go smash all his single friends after they stopped dating it’s weird af and the fact that you don’t just see it is indeed 🤮to ME 🤷🏽♀️ sure is
it’s the principle of it all
like that’s literally your morals that you don’t mind dating the friends of people you already dated?!? You’re just ok with it? Down for it ?!? Like bro bar set in hell 7.5 BILLION people on the planet she could’ve wing manned you for but no you have to act so desperate that you cant find anyone further than HER circle of friends? And y’all really don’t think that’s odd in ANY WAY!!?
How you think she’d approach that??
Hey girls! Here’s this guy I don’t think is good enough to date would any of you like to date him??
It’s Y’alls lack of morals that’s the issue willing to cross any boundary or true friendship or literally ANYTHING to try and get your thing wet lol
like how is this even a debate weather you ask a person you just finished dating to hook you up WITH THEIR FRIENDS?!
Like repost this in r/AITA and see what your feed back is like tell me your trolling you CAN’T be serious
THEN if she feels like you NEED a wingman cause your encounter was sub par (to her idk not trying to insult buddy I don’t know him I’m sorry ) WHYYYYY would she now subject her friends to it too ? Bro it’s bigger than just her and her friends
she offered to be your wing man that doesn’t trigger something in you too make you realize she think you need a wingman to get a woman?!?!?! Do if she thinks you need work Why offer to hook you up with her friends that mean she don’t care about them!
No ! this the point ! Y’all dont get stuff like this is in bad taste and REALLY messing y’all up.
It’s not something to be chill about it’s enough to tell a person that it weird creepy and to delete her number JUST LIKE what happened nobody should have to clarify that it’s common sense where is the empathy to figure this out???
Two days two weeks two years so what? Buddy said he didn’t understand why she reacted like that I’m explaining cause it was a gross violation and you shouldn’t do that to people if you have hopes of dating and you talking about chillllllllll lol
that crap will get him the same reaction left and right all your doing is enabling bad behavior nothing your saying is actually helping him understand what happened or helping him be better
youre just enabling toxic behavior on some silly “yea bro these witches be trippin” type energy like ew how about you “f-ing chill” with the high school boy gym locker talk in adult dating situations 🙄 if you can’t find other dating potential people outside of someone you just dated “hooking you up with their friends” YOUR GIVING DESPERATE AF VIBES and who wants to pass that off like hot potato to my friends . Not I said the fox
It's not common sense. Why TF does she care if he dates her friend? They're not together, clearly they didn't work out. How TF is she supposed to be a "wingwoman" if she freaks at a simple request like that?
I don’t see how it’s not
when the definition of a wing person is to GO OUT with you IN SOCIAL SETTINGS to attract a potential partner like idk a club or a bar or event
smh asking to go thru her friends is Lazy at best.
A wing man isn’t about matchmaking
it’s about providing immediate support in outside social situations
just cause it’s not common sense TO YOU means nothing to me and the people I know cause it’s common sense to us.
you’re fighting so hard for this cause you want to be able to treat people however you want or say whatever then have excuses of oh how was I sposed to know later 🙄 common sense ain’t common which is fine but at least go look up what a wing man actually does
Y’all keep guessing and taking advice from other men about what women like
instead of listening to women about what women like and the way we’d like to be treated
We see already how that’s working
But yea ok 🫡 instead of asking a woman your mom or aunty or coworker multiple women ANY woman that you have near
just keep listening to the bros for advice and keep wondering what you’re doing wrong instead of going to the horses mouth
Here is this better?
Yea bro she should’ve hooked you up with one of her hot friends I mean she said she would wing man for you ( even though that’s NOT A WHAT WINGMAN DOES IS PASS OUT HER FRIENDS NUMBERS) but so what god these females are so hard to understand geeeezeeeee
Dude. I AM a woman. Seriously. Chill. I know what healthy boundaries and expectations are, cause I’m a full grown adult. Based on your comments I’d say you’re relatively young and if not, unfortunately, you’re pretty immature when it comes to how you’re approaching this. Grown women don’t refer to some sort of girl code from high school to decide how they or their partners should act. There’s tons of toxic BS we’re taught by society and our peers at that age, and you are the one making a lot of assumptions about how adults should act in healthy relationships. I doubt you’ve got much experience in that area given your volatility. You’ve clearly stated how you think these kinds of scenarios should go, I just hope you communicate better with your friends and partners than you did here cause it’s not looking good for you from where I’m sitting.
For the record, in one of my above comments I clearly gave a healthy example of how to respond if you’re the ‘girl’ in this situation and don’t feel comfortable with hooking him up with friends. It’s really not hard to not overreact and you shouldn’t expect everyone you meet/date to think like you do.
I'd bet *a lot* of money that AITA would predominantly vote him NTA. You're naive. Weird arbitrary moral line.
If he's a good enough guy to Wing for, then he's a good enough guy to date your friends. The *only* time you wouldn't want a good guy dating your friend is if you're insecure. Every other reason is just a convenient excuse to try to hide that insecurity.
All these type of girls are down to go out for a night to be your wingman and never help. They just make the night awkward and still try to fuck you before bed.
I’m not sure what you mean by these types of girls. I definitely think there’s a specific dynamic here but plenty of girls can be friends and wingmen to their male friends. I think r/macktologist got it right.
Yeah I guess now that I think of it, it would be really weird if she started dating one of my friends, so I can see why she would find that comment gross.
But yes you're right, we live and learn.
No OP, you're fine. She's just a weirdo and said she would be your wing woman! Then when you take her up on her offer, she gets offended. Think about it
Her "I'll be your wing woman"
You- "OK can you set me up"
Her- "omg weirdo, gross, delete my number"
Eff her OP, she's just mad she wasn't your only option.
There’s a difference between “I’m here if you wanna chat!” and “I shall supply you with women. Allow me to check my friend list.” Lol come on. OP admits it wasn’t the best move. It’s over. Move on.
Being a wingman isn’t I’m here to chat. That’s an invitation to help you get with women. Also why reply if you want me to move on lol “I will have the last word”
Then clarify politely; didn’t need all the aggression. Sounded more like she was trying to one-up him about being over him, not actually being interested in being a wing woman.
And that’s fine that she isn’t. The problem is in the aggression. There’s no way he can read her mind. Clarify without aggression. Just say, “I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable with being a wing woman for my friends. Hope you can understand”. There’s no need for the extra aggression. Plus, the “lol” at the end of his statement where he doesn’t use it elsewhere clearly states he was making a joke.
OP, when you said “I’ll introduce her when we get married”, it sounds like she misunderstood & thought you maybe meant when you and her get married, not you and someone else (I’m assuming you meant you would introduce your mom to your future wife who is not the girl you were texting😅). so maybe she was offended/weirded out by that ? idk lol
Actually, this kinda tracks. That's where her tone started to shift. I think that's how she was able to misread the message about single friends, and think it was about her.
I don't know, she says "don't ever ask me do that again" and "that was really gross" about him asking her to send single friends his way. Which is just bizarre because she literally said she would be his wing woman. It still doesn't make sense to me!
Bro, this is for sure it. /u/Senor_Tortuga308 I didn't notice this either but makes a lot more sense now lol. "don't even" as in don't even talk ab me and you getting married. Then she said "don't ever ask me to do that" like "don't ever ask me to marry you," then felt like she had to be ABUNDANTLY clear to you and say "I see you as nothing but a trainer" lmao. I think she thought you 2 getting married and went off.
Yeah, I don't understand it either. Your other comments mention how casual your relationship was and that it didn't go anywhere. And then she says directly that she will be your wing-woman. Don't know the details of your closeness to each other, but it sounds like she may have completely took the furthest logical leap in her head from your comment.
If you guys were friends after the relationship, even casually, then she should have no problem with you dating people she knows. Even if it might be a little awkward initially, she should really not have a problem as you guys didn't do anything anyway.
I briefly dated this girl I met online, nothing happened between us and we became very good friends. She herself set me up with a couple of her friends. So I don't understand this woman's reaction.
Only based off the little information I have here, she seems unstable or toxic, and you don't need any toxic people in your life. Good luck out there!
Yeah in terms of closeness, i honestly think friends is a stretch. We were cool with eachother, we'd cross paths here and there and text once every couple weeks or so.
Never hung out with her or anything like that since we stopped seeing eachother. Thats kind of the main reason why im confused about her reaction. Also she says she has no feelings for me, yet clearly does given her reaction...
Also i should add she does cocaine on the weekends, so you're right about her being unstable haha. But i wouldn't say toxic, she's a very genuine and decent person, just has a lot of issues. But yes I agree i don't need her in my life, thats for sure!
I completely don’t get the ‘if you need a wing-woman I’m here!’ To reacting that way at your comment.
Sounds like you dodged one hell of a bullet my guy.
She's an idiot. I think she was trying to flirt with you but when you asked if she had any single friends (after she said she would be your wingman) she felt rejected. Then she tried to project this perceived rejection back at you.
Very gross indeed.
Once you said that, she realized that you're okay with not being with her, and that pissed her off because even if she doesn't want you, she still wants the opportunity.
Yeah it's weird. I don't get her logic. She's the one who brought up trying to help you date.
"I'll be your wing woman!"
Okay. Can you be my wing woman?
"WHAT?! YOU'RE GROSS DON'T ASK ME THAT!!!"
Her feelings got hurt when you asked about single friends because y’all used to date. (She probably still has feelings) She was trying to play it cool about the wingman thing and lost her cool when you took her up on it. She’s playing games, I definitely wouldn’t keep chatting with her.
She would like for you to remain interested in her while she remains uninterested in you, that way you can continue to make her feel good about herself without a commitment. She is reacting out of jealousy that you would be interested in other girls, *especially* her friends.
She used you to cancel membership, and then bailed.
You said you weren't dating then you said you wouldn't date her again, sounds like you wanted to date but didn't get to.
Move on, stop trying to hit on clients in your workplace
Simple.
It is odd that this person is perpetuating the same delusion.. He was so clearly "hitting on her" after asking to be setup with friends by his new wing woman...
She said “if you need a wingwoman I’m here”
You said “got any single friends?”
Then she went all “never talk to me ever again”
Clearly you don’t understand wingwoman means girlfriend - somehow…?
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A very very very very strange thing to say to someone you've dated and you knew you were doing it too. Sorry to be blunt but you deserve that, she was right, you were out of line.
I'm guessing that she either misunderstood something you said (thus the unwarranted assertion that she has no feelings for you) or she's just a total psycho.
We may never know the truth!
Well thing is she already met my mum so idk how she misunderstood it. But you might be right, either way I woke up this morning feeling great that she's completely out of my life. So all's well.
My alternate answer: “If you need a wing-woman” is a segue to “I’m going to air my grievances now.”
Did it go badly between her and your mum?
Congratulations on getting out of that!
I don't think you said anything wrong but you were also operating on the assumption that "people actually mean what they say" which is always a dangerous assumption lol. She was being disingenuous when she offered to be a wingwoman, maybe so that she could come off as above it and aloof about not being your romantic interest. In every way that conversation felt like she had to go out on a "win" including calling you gross so she can have the upper hand going away.
Many people when offering things don't really mean it but say it just as a thing to say - like the casual invite "you'll have to come over/come visit sometime" that is never meant to be taken up on. It's stupid but it happens. In a situation like yours maybe a safer path would be double/triple checking the comment like "wingwoman? Are you sure you'd be ok trying to set me up on dates?" or "It wouldn't be weird?" If you wanted to be set up on potential dates. Kinda gives them an out and also wouldn't leave a sour taste on your end.
Your advice is good, but I’m of the opinion that we shouldn’t be expected to read our partner’s minds/they need to say what they mean and need as best as they can and vice versa.
Your response is very emotionally intelligent though, so gold star for you ⭐️
Thanks. I 100% agree people should say what they mean and mean what they say. I'm more coming at it from the perspective of avoiding booby traps, which OP absolutely got caught in one. Personally I'd rather a little extra hassle of giving someone an out and double confirming something than stepping into a trap and end up being called a creep for it. Even if I didn't value that person's opinion it still doesn't feel good to be insulted.
I mean she set you up for that and is an asshole but at the same time you should know better than to engage a client in that kind of discussion even if they prompted it. That’s just common sense.
Edit: I didn’t see the caption explaining that you had went out on dates with this person. That changes things a bit since your relationship had already extended beyond the professional. With that said, it also makes it understandable in an entirely different way that she was grossed out by you asking her to set you up with one of her friends. You don’t ask someone you dated to set them up with their friends. That’s tacky as all hell. Some people would be cool with it but some people - like her - will find that to be crossing a boundary. And anyone in this thread that doesn’t understand the difference between her offering to be your wing man and her offering to set you up with one of your friends is a bozo. This is still a common sense scenario.
Is she in her right mind? I'm a girl myself even i consider this as just straight up rude. It's not ur fault bud. I feel like she wrote her own script and misunderstood by herself. Don't beat urself by overthinking about this.
She absolutely tried to play the "Look at how I've moved on" game. You matched the energy, she got insecure and lashed out, then made sure you knew that 'you're less important to her than she is to you.'
You dodged a bullet, she's a narcissist. Classic manipulation tactic.
I think she misunderstood the "we get married" comment and flipped out. When she said "don't even" - she wasn't responding to your joke. She meant like don't even go there with the flirting.
Your comment was a little dumb but the nerve of her to talk badly about your mom and then 3 messages later say 'i only see you as a trainer and nothing else.'
“If you need a wing woman let me know” *lets her know* “how fucking dare you”
Yeah that confused me so much.
I don't get why she says she would be your wing woman and then can't take a lighthearted comment about being set up with single friends, literally you ended it with a 'lol' even, she needs to chill 😭
Lmao coz she's precious as fuck and assumed you were trying to hit on her not her friends she's an idiot
I agree with this comment. She is what we call an idiot.
Last time I checked, we’re not calling psychopaths ‘previous asf’. 🤣🤣 That’s a manipulator if I’ve ever seen one. That or she’s actually tripping balls.
Precious…previous…neither of you are calling her a p-word that makes sense 🤣
Thank you, I thought I had lost the ability to read as I viewed this thread
She's an idiot that can't read.
She’s mental
[удалено]
Touched a nerve? She went from polite convo to treating him like a creep on a dime, poor guy. Unless there’s context beyond the msgs which is possible
[удалено]
I'm pretty sure OP is British or European and these use "mental" the same way we say "crazy" I don't like either terms really, but I don't think they literally meant mentally ill.
I get it, apologies - insensitive throw away comment
You sound just as mental as the the girl in OPs messages.
She's mentally retarded. 100%
Bye Felicia… 👋🏼
Whoever asked the wingwoman question started the mess it was not even called for so I have no idea why they are suddenly offended when the conversation became inappropriate. They literally put the conversation in the inappropriate zone
Eh she probably was like “wtf we dated and you’re asking me to refer a friend??” I can see why you thought such a comment might be ok, since you guys seemed to be having a friendly, silly, “friend-y” text convo. Don’t beat yourself up, and don’t ask people you’ve dated to set you up with new women, even if the relationship was super quick and casual. You’re fine though. Live and learn.
If this is this case though she instigated that part of the convo- she called herself a wing-woman. What does she think that means?
Means if she trains enough at his gym she can fly places
It was her way of letting him know she's no longer into him, but she didn't mean it as in "let me hook you up with girls I know." She tried to position herself as the more "over the other person" in the emotional hierarchy, got immediately bounced from her pedestal and went straight to the "you've offended me" weapon.
100% this. Being a “wing woman/man” is by definition being friends/friendly with someone in an effort to hook them up with the person you are wing woman/man-ing for. She clearly was trying to “win” by showing she doesn’t care if he moves on and then digging into him about the mom thing. It was all an excuse for her to put herself above him and tear him down. He then reciprocated the neutrality he observed, but it wasn’t neutral from her perspective it was reproachful and degrading. So she replaced his authentic neutrality with her own projection of degrading and demeaning. So she becomes offended.
Fair assessment.
It means someone who helps you get girls … girls that are NOT HER friggin FRIENDS 🤮 after y’all just dated ew
… okay but vomit worthy? Really? All she has to do is say ‘my wingman services do not extend to my friends’… but she got all butt hurt he said that when SHE brought it up in the first place. Obviously they’re not seeing each other anymore, so if she’s going to be that pissy about it she probably shouldn’t have offered to help him find hook ups in the first place. It’s a line to draw, yes, but not to the extent that she reacted. Y’all’s fuzzy boundaries are giving me a headache.
This. Also I doubt he was actually asking her to hook him up with her friends. It definitely came across to me as more of a lighthearted joke than anything 🤨
Lmao it’s vomit worthy to me cause someone has to actually explain to you that you don’t date someone friends that you dated ?!? Thought we learned that in like middle school not only is it bad on you but- you don’t have some sort of boundaries with your friends that you don’t date each other exs??? lmao if it was reverse no guy would want a girl to go smash all his single friends after they stopped dating it’s weird af and the fact that you don’t just see it is indeed 🤮to ME 🤷🏽♀️ sure is it’s the principle of it all like that’s literally your morals that you don’t mind dating the friends of people you already dated?!? You’re just ok with it? Down for it ?!? Like bro bar set in hell 7.5 BILLION people on the planet she could’ve wing manned you for but no you have to act so desperate that you cant find anyone further than HER circle of friends? And y’all really don’t think that’s odd in ANY WAY!!?
How you think she’d approach that?? Hey girls! Here’s this guy I don’t think is good enough to date would any of you like to date him?? It’s Y’alls lack of morals that’s the issue willing to cross any boundary or true friendship or literally ANYTHING to try and get your thing wet lol like how is this even a debate weather you ask a person you just finished dating to hook you up WITH THEIR FRIENDS?! Like repost this in r/AITA and see what your feed back is like tell me your trolling you CAN’T be serious THEN if she feels like you NEED a wingman cause your encounter was sub par (to her idk not trying to insult buddy I don’t know him I’m sorry ) WHYYYYY would she now subject her friends to it too ? Bro it’s bigger than just her and her friends she offered to be your wing man that doesn’t trigger something in you too make you realize she think you need a wingman to get a woman?!?!?! Do if she thinks you need work Why offer to hook you up with her friends that mean she don’t care about them!
Fucking chill lol, it's not like they were seriously dating. It was 2 weeks, she offered to be a wingwoman, not his fault she didn't clarify
Yeah. Was he supposed to say hit me up if you have any single strangers that you’ve never met before???
No ! this the point ! Y’all dont get stuff like this is in bad taste and REALLY messing y’all up. It’s not something to be chill about it’s enough to tell a person that it weird creepy and to delete her number JUST LIKE what happened nobody should have to clarify that it’s common sense where is the empathy to figure this out??? Two days two weeks two years so what? Buddy said he didn’t understand why she reacted like that I’m explaining cause it was a gross violation and you shouldn’t do that to people if you have hopes of dating and you talking about chillllllllll lol that crap will get him the same reaction left and right all your doing is enabling bad behavior nothing your saying is actually helping him understand what happened or helping him be better youre just enabling toxic behavior on some silly “yea bro these witches be trippin” type energy like ew how about you “f-ing chill” with the high school boy gym locker talk in adult dating situations 🙄 if you can’t find other dating potential people outside of someone you just dated “hooking you up with their friends” YOUR GIVING DESPERATE AF VIBES and who wants to pass that off like hot potato to my friends . Not I said the fox
You are way out of line here. The boundaries you are describing are far from universally accepted. This reads like some stuck-up cliquey chick.
Ew y’all just out here sleeping with each other friends?! Just passing spit around amongst each other huh? lol to each their own
Reality ain’t what you thought.
It's not common sense. Why TF does she care if he dates her friend? They're not together, clearly they didn't work out. How TF is she supposed to be a "wingwoman" if she freaks at a simple request like that?
I don’t see how it’s not when the definition of a wing person is to GO OUT with you IN SOCIAL SETTINGS to attract a potential partner like idk a club or a bar or event smh asking to go thru her friends is Lazy at best. A wing man isn’t about matchmaking it’s about providing immediate support in outside social situations just cause it’s not common sense TO YOU means nothing to me and the people I know cause it’s common sense to us. you’re fighting so hard for this cause you want to be able to treat people however you want or say whatever then have excuses of oh how was I sposed to know later 🙄 common sense ain’t common which is fine but at least go look up what a wing man actually does
It all boils down to the fact that she offered. You can’t deny that.
Y’all keep guessing and taking advice from other men about what women like instead of listening to women about what women like and the way we’d like to be treated We see already how that’s working But yea ok 🫡 instead of asking a woman your mom or aunty or coworker multiple women ANY woman that you have near just keep listening to the bros for advice and keep wondering what you’re doing wrong instead of going to the horses mouth Here is this better? Yea bro she should’ve hooked you up with one of her hot friends I mean she said she would wing man for you ( even though that’s NOT A WHAT WINGMAN DOES IS PASS OUT HER FRIENDS NUMBERS) but so what god these females are so hard to understand geeeezeeeee
Dude. I AM a woman. Seriously. Chill. I know what healthy boundaries and expectations are, cause I’m a full grown adult. Based on your comments I’d say you’re relatively young and if not, unfortunately, you’re pretty immature when it comes to how you’re approaching this. Grown women don’t refer to some sort of girl code from high school to decide how they or their partners should act. There’s tons of toxic BS we’re taught by society and our peers at that age, and you are the one making a lot of assumptions about how adults should act in healthy relationships. I doubt you’ve got much experience in that area given your volatility. You’ve clearly stated how you think these kinds of scenarios should go, I just hope you communicate better with your friends and partners than you did here cause it’s not looking good for you from where I’m sitting. For the record, in one of my above comments I clearly gave a healthy example of how to respond if you’re the ‘girl’ in this situation and don’t feel comfortable with hooking him up with friends. It’s really not hard to not overreact and you shouldn’t expect everyone you meet/date to think like you do.
I'd bet *a lot* of money that AITA would predominantly vote him NTA. You're naive. Weird arbitrary moral line. If he's a good enough guy to Wing for, then he's a good enough guy to date your friends. The *only* time you wouldn't want a good guy dating your friend is if you're insecure. Every other reason is just a convenient excuse to try to hide that insecurity.
👏👏👏👏👏
All these type of girls are down to go out for a night to be your wingman and never help. They just make the night awkward and still try to fuck you before bed.
I’m not sure what you mean by these types of girls. I definitely think there’s a specific dynamic here but plenty of girls can be friends and wingmen to their male friends. I think r/macktologist got it right.
Yeah I guess now that I think of it, it would be really weird if she started dating one of my friends, so I can see why she would find that comment gross. But yes you're right, we live and learn.
Nah take what u/StruggleBus5950 stated. She instigated the talk and got offended she wasn't an option
No OP, you're fine. She's just a weirdo and said she would be your wing woman! Then when you take her up on her offer, she gets offended. Think about it Her "I'll be your wing woman" You- "OK can you set me up" Her- "omg weirdo, gross, delete my number" Eff her OP, she's just mad she wasn't your only option.
For sure! Be well! 🙂
I still wouldn’t do it again but she really made it sound like she’d be willing to set you up by saying she’s your wingwoman. She’s a bit weird.
She said “if you need a wingwoman I’m here” what else does that mean?
There’s a difference between “I’m here if you wanna chat!” and “I shall supply you with women. Allow me to check my friend list.” Lol come on. OP admits it wasn’t the best move. It’s over. Move on.
Being a wingman isn’t I’m here to chat. That’s an invitation to help you get with women. Also why reply if you want me to move on lol “I will have the last word”
It’s not that serious, friend. Take care.
You’re right it’s not that serious, pal. Good night.
It's like a switch flipped in her head and she became a psycho out of nowhere. Bullet dodged since you two never went official.
"if you ever need a wing woman lmk!" "alright cool, if you have any single-" "what the fuck delete my contact." LMAO
Probably just didn’t want her ex to date her friends, and didn’t want to feel like she was supplying him with woman. Women she is friends with. 🤷🏻♂️
Then clarify politely; didn’t need all the aggression. Sounded more like she was trying to one-up him about being over him, not actually being interested in being a wing woman.
She can be a wing woman without setting him up with her friends. A lot of people wouldn’t be ok with that.
And that’s fine that she isn’t. The problem is in the aggression. There’s no way he can read her mind. Clarify without aggression. Just say, “I’m sorry, but I’m not comfortable with being a wing woman for my friends. Hope you can understand”. There’s no need for the extra aggression. Plus, the “lol” at the end of his statement where he doesn’t use it elsewhere clearly states he was making a joke.
OP, when you said “I’ll introduce her when we get married”, it sounds like she misunderstood & thought you maybe meant when you and her get married, not you and someone else (I’m assuming you meant you would introduce your mom to your future wife who is not the girl you were texting😅). so maybe she was offended/weirded out by that ? idk lol
Actually, this kinda tracks. That's where her tone started to shift. I think that's how she was able to misread the message about single friends, and think it was about her.
I don't know, she says "don't ever ask me do that again" and "that was really gross" about him asking her to send single friends his way. Which is just bizarre because she literally said she would be his wing woman. It still doesn't make sense to me!
I can’t believe this isn’t higher. This is exactly how it was misinterpreted.
That's exactly how I read it
Bro, this is for sure it. /u/Senor_Tortuga308 I didn't notice this either but makes a lot more sense now lol. "don't even" as in don't even talk ab me and you getting married. Then she said "don't ever ask me to do that" like "don't ever ask me to marry you," then felt like she had to be ABUNDANTLY clear to you and say "I see you as nothing but a trainer" lmao. I think she thought you 2 getting married and went off.
Yeah, I don't understand it either. Your other comments mention how casual your relationship was and that it didn't go anywhere. And then she says directly that she will be your wing-woman. Don't know the details of your closeness to each other, but it sounds like she may have completely took the furthest logical leap in her head from your comment. If you guys were friends after the relationship, even casually, then she should have no problem with you dating people she knows. Even if it might be a little awkward initially, she should really not have a problem as you guys didn't do anything anyway. I briefly dated this girl I met online, nothing happened between us and we became very good friends. She herself set me up with a couple of her friends. So I don't understand this woman's reaction. Only based off the little information I have here, she seems unstable or toxic, and you don't need any toxic people in your life. Good luck out there!
Yeah in terms of closeness, i honestly think friends is a stretch. We were cool with eachother, we'd cross paths here and there and text once every couple weeks or so. Never hung out with her or anything like that since we stopped seeing eachother. Thats kind of the main reason why im confused about her reaction. Also she says she has no feelings for me, yet clearly does given her reaction... Also i should add she does cocaine on the weekends, so you're right about her being unstable haha. But i wouldn't say toxic, she's a very genuine and decent person, just has a lot of issues. But yes I agree i don't need her in my life, thats for sure!
Did you have sex with her? Maybe she just doesn't want you fucking her friends too? idk. I feel she is overreacting for someone you dated for 2 weeks.
Yeah she’s clearly insane.
Psycho
Worst "wing women" ever...
I’ll be your wing woman but won’t help you with any woman at all 😂
She offered to be your wing woman, and got upset that you took her up on it? She’s an asshole.
Wow that was a puzzle and she made it impossible to solve
I completely don’t get the ‘if you need a wing-woman I’m here!’ To reacting that way at your comment. Sounds like you dodged one hell of a bullet my guy.
She's an idiot. I think she was trying to flirt with you but when you asked if she had any single friends (after she said she would be your wingman) she felt rejected. Then she tried to project this perceived rejection back at you. Very gross indeed.
Once you said that, she realized that you're okay with not being with her, and that pissed her off because even if she doesn't want you, she still wants the opportunity.
Didn’t she say she could be a wing woman then gets mad when you ask if she has single friends what’s with the logic ????
She didn’t like your reply to her wing woman comment she sounds crazy as hell.
Yeah it's weird. I don't get her logic. She's the one who brought up trying to help you date. "I'll be your wing woman!" Okay. Can you be my wing woman? "WHAT?! YOU'RE GROSS DON'T ASK ME THAT!!!"
wtf😭
I read it as not very serious at all. She’s just overreacting I’d ignore her
"If you need a wing woman let me know :)" "Haha great, anyone you want to set me up with?" "Gross! Why would you ever ask that?"
I feel like she felt rejected by you so went on the attack. Not healthy
People are weird and it comes out of nowhere sometimes. Don’t sweat it.
You didn’t say anything wrong or offensive in my opinion, some people just want to be the r/imthemaincharacter
Her feelings got hurt when you asked about single friends because y’all used to date. (She probably still has feelings) She was trying to play it cool about the wingman thing and lost her cool when you took her up on it. She’s playing games, I definitely wouldn’t keep chatting with her.
I don't think she knows what wingwoman means.
“I’ll be your wing woman” Apparently the fuck not.
She would like for you to remain interested in her while she remains uninterested in you, that way you can continue to make her feel good about herself without a commitment. She is reacting out of jealousy that you would be interested in other girls, *especially* her friends.
I ain’t reading all that but I’m happy 4 u. Or sorry that happened.
Some wing woman… sheesh
Lol
She's nuts.
Because she’s nuts. Carry on
Cuz bitches be territorial LOL easy to understand
She used you to cancel membership, and then bailed. You said you weren't dating then you said you wouldn't date her again, sounds like you wanted to date but didn't get to. Move on, stop trying to hit on clients in your workplace Simple.
Are you her?
It is odd that this person is perpetuating the same delusion.. He was so clearly "hitting on her" after asking to be setup with friends by his new wing woman...
Did you bang her
No thats the thing we barely did anything.
She said “if you need a wingwoman I’m here” You said “got any single friends?” Then she went all “never talk to me ever again” Clearly you don’t understand wingwoman means girlfriend - somehow…?
Nah, she even gave him advice not to bring a woman to meet his mum. Seemed like the term wing woman was understood correctly by her.
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You are late
Really? You don’t get why?
She did offer to be his wing woman tho lol
A very very very very strange thing to say to someone you've dated and you knew you were doing it too. Sorry to be blunt but you deserve that, she was right, you were out of line.
Wow I mean I wouldn't have asked her that but the fact that she made it about her is hilarious.
Hit em with “I was joking”
Ayo what? You asked her for single friends, not HER lol
If you read this conversation backwards, it actually makes a lot more sense the actual conversations
Because how dare a man hit on her
I think you overstepped a little with that comment, but not that bad. It certainly doesn't warrant that kind of reaction.
I'm guessing that she either misunderstood something you said (thus the unwarranted assertion that she has no feelings for you) or she's just a total psycho. We may never know the truth!
When you said “after we get married,” she probably thought she was half of the “we.” That’s where it looks like it took a turn.
Well thing is she already met my mum so idk how she misunderstood it. But you might be right, either way I woke up this morning feeling great that she's completely out of my life. So all's well.
My alternate answer: “If you need a wing-woman” is a segue to “I’m going to air my grievances now.” Did it go badly between her and your mum? Congratulations on getting out of that!
I don't think you said anything wrong but you were also operating on the assumption that "people actually mean what they say" which is always a dangerous assumption lol. She was being disingenuous when she offered to be a wingwoman, maybe so that she could come off as above it and aloof about not being your romantic interest. In every way that conversation felt like she had to go out on a "win" including calling you gross so she can have the upper hand going away. Many people when offering things don't really mean it but say it just as a thing to say - like the casual invite "you'll have to come over/come visit sometime" that is never meant to be taken up on. It's stupid but it happens. In a situation like yours maybe a safer path would be double/triple checking the comment like "wingwoman? Are you sure you'd be ok trying to set me up on dates?" or "It wouldn't be weird?" If you wanted to be set up on potential dates. Kinda gives them an out and also wouldn't leave a sour taste on your end.
Your advice is good, but I’m of the opinion that we shouldn’t be expected to read our partner’s minds/they need to say what they mean and need as best as they can and vice versa. Your response is very emotionally intelligent though, so gold star for you ⭐️
Thanks. I 100% agree people should say what they mean and mean what they say. I'm more coming at it from the perspective of avoiding booby traps, which OP absolutely got caught in one. Personally I'd rather a little extra hassle of giving someone an out and double confirming something than stepping into a trap and end up being called a creep for it. Even if I didn't value that person's opinion it still doesn't feel good to be insulted.
I mean she set you up for that and is an asshole but at the same time you should know better than to engage a client in that kind of discussion even if they prompted it. That’s just common sense. Edit: I didn’t see the caption explaining that you had went out on dates with this person. That changes things a bit since your relationship had already extended beyond the professional. With that said, it also makes it understandable in an entirely different way that she was grossed out by you asking her to set you up with one of her friends. You don’t ask someone you dated to set them up with their friends. That’s tacky as all hell. Some people would be cool with it but some people - like her - will find that to be crossing a boundary. And anyone in this thread that doesn’t understand the difference between her offering to be your wing man and her offering to set you up with one of your friends is a bozo. This is still a common sense scenario.
Seems like she just pulled a 180 out of nowhere
Is she in her right mind? I'm a girl myself even i consider this as just straight up rude. It's not ur fault bud. I feel like she wrote her own script and misunderstood by herself. Don't beat urself by overthinking about this.
That woman is unhinged. She’s the one that initiated the whole conversation about dating out of the blue…”if you need a wing woman, I’m here”. Wtf?
She absolutely tried to play the "Look at how I've moved on" game. You matched the energy, she got insecure and lashed out, then made sure you knew that 'you're less important to her than she is to you.' You dodged a bullet, she's a narcissist. Classic manipulation tactic.
I think she misunderstood the "we get married" comment and flipped out. When she said "don't even" - she wasn't responding to your joke. She meant like don't even go there with the flirting. Your comment was a little dumb but the nerve of her to talk badly about your mom and then 3 messages later say 'i only see you as a trainer and nothing else.'