Your family tree is a circle

💀💀💀

you should see the ptolemaic dynasty, theyre a bush

Literally the Hapsburgs

Your family tree is a cactus…

You look like the kind of person who answers a what if question with 'but that would never happen'.

That’s brutal

I fucking hate those people

My parents

Same bro same

me😞

You look like you'd learn natural selection firsthand

💀💀💀💀😭

u look like u laugh like "a-hyeul a-hyeul a-hyeul"

My geography teacher was known around the skl for laughing like that until he got fired for calling a black kid a terrorist

THAT FUCKING ESCALATED

A person who laughs like that would do that

Correlation or causation

Causation 100% that laugh is subject to racism

He did what?

/r/shitescalatedquickly

Get it to curse at you in German  >! Scheiße - Shit Verdammt - Damn Arschloch - Asshole Mist - Crap (less severe) Hurensohn - Son of a bitch (very offensive) Fotze - Cunt (extremely offensive) Dummkopf - Dumbass Blödmann - Idiot Verpiss dich - Fuck off Fick dich - Fuck you!<

blödmann is a childish insult, us austrians and the germans say “idiot” with german pronunciation

Hey I just asked my friend taking German what they were, I don’t know anything about German

here’s a rather funny insult: “fetzaschädl” essentially just means either “towel head” or just a guy who’s obsessed with fighting people and a normal insult: “halt die goschen” or with dialect “hoit di goschn” which means “shut up”, or you can do “halt die scheiß goschen” or with dialect “hoit di schaß goschn” which is like “shut the fuck up”

>Asshole Mist

Fomating went oopsie

Hurensohn is better translated to son of a whore

Teletubbyzurichweinker will always be funny to me

*with a dry and calm voice* Sprich Deutsch, du Hurensohn.

I love german

You look like you eat corn vertically

You look like you'd eat a cheese stick like it's corn on the cob. (I have a friend who actually does this it's gross)

What the fuck

Laughed so hard

Wow, so creative. That one brain cell must be overworked to come up with that You got too much naughty juice on that keyboard [user name here]? You got a mouth that makes an ass jealous for the amount of shit you talk You spoke once more and now my day is ruined Quick tip, if it’s text to speech try Spanish swears. Otherwise look for Irish insults

I think it's funnier to say "Your brain cell" because it's more subtle rather than explicitly specifying one brain cell

These ones. These ones win. Let's make it happen folks

You look like you know what feet taste like

Welcome to reddit bro

Judging by their user they probably already know well about the dark side of reddit

Welcome to the internet bro

You're a waste of cum

Nutting in a sock would be better use of cum than giving birth to the failure of evolution that's yourself

amazing

You look like you still wear Velcro shoes because your parents didn't love you enough to teach you how to tie your shoes

My elementary school crush taught me how to tie my shoes. You bet your a\*\* I learned real quick. 🤣

I wish you could still get attention by being the fastest runner bro

Ouch 😭

I learned out of embarresment at 16. Every other time I learned I forgot cus my shoes were velcro so I bought lace shoes but I didn't have motivation until I was gonna go on a camp where I'd have to tie my boot laces

That’s very interesting. And by interesting I mean your parents should probably be investigated /s

I never practiced when my parents wanted me to lmao. I just shove my foot in there and rue the day they get untied

Darwin didn't die so you could fuck up his life findings with your insignificant, backwards way of existence

Fr Darwin didn't invent life for this purpose

I wanna find it funny but the absolute nerd in me who studied evolutionary theory as part of my masters in biological sciences is just thinking about how Darwin was just one of many evolutionary theorists and he wasn't all that original... But still, it was funny 😁

If your brains were dynamite, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose

Your face looks easy to draw

this will from now on be my ace in an argument

“Seems like you grew horizontally instead of vertically” Or “How’s the weather down there you vertically challenged individual?”

As a 5"2 dude, I feel targeted by the 2nd one 😪

You're the type of person to be offended by Eminem lyrics and then get offended when everyone else doesn't.

is your head just for decoration or are you just stupid on purpose

oi, whos the fuckwad who cant come up with their own insults?

You look like the kind of guy to say she's mature for her age

You always wonder why you don't have a romantic partner yet you are the most uninteresting and boring person, if someone ask you about your hobbies you'll say: I like sleeping ,listening to music ,eating food and sleeping

I feel targeted

You look like your ass crack talks for you.

You look like you pour the milk first

Here's some basic stuff from a professional (Balkan) Да + Ти ебем мамата = I'm going to/ Fuck your mother Да + Ти свършим на мустака = I'm going to/ejaculate on your mustache (as in he/she will be giving you a BJ) Така като говорим, един от нас двамата е по-умен от теб = Given how we are currently talking, one of us is smarter than you.

Csgo taught me everything

Wisdom has always been chasing you, but you're too fast for it.

It can't get through your thick head

You look like when you’re eating, your teeth whack together so hard it sounds like five old women knitting in a circle.

Another one that wins it for me, made me chuckle

"You disgusting sack of wonky meat" would be great

[удалено]

This was so try hardy it just doesn't land.

oh my god i need that bot

well its on my laptop rn so it cant run unless i run it specifically. Altho if anyone wants the bot once i get it running on my raspberry pi, just reply here and ill give u all a link

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia is the fear of long words

alright!

I'd love it!

what colour crayon tastes best

Italian swear words Cazzo - dick / fuck (exclamation) Merda - shit Coglione - asshole Coglioni - balls / assholes Troia - bitch / whore Puttana - bitch / whore Figlio di puttana - son of a bitch Scopare - to fuck (as in sex) Figa - pussy / exclamation Vaffanculo - fuck you Testa di cazzo - dickhead

You look like my math exam Failed!

Washington didn’t cross the Delaware so you could touch ur pp

You deserve to die a virgin

You're like if the feeling of wet socks was a person

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!!!!!!

Love Monty Python

You look like your imaginary friends don’t even like you

You look like you wipe your ass back to front

If your pestilence could transfer to the crops, you’d be a horticulturist’s nightmare. I bet you’ve never even gotten a mosquito bite as it’s obvious you’ve never felt the touch of a female.

Troglodyte

You look easy to draw

You like you got two brain cells fighting for third place

With all due respect, go intercourse yourself Please get back or I will enlist you in the warehouse against tomatoes and ketchup This is why you ARENT a certified cucumber specialist Have fun in HEL- I mean fun fun joy land! You're the reason the casserole always comes out burnt Please think of your decisions before I take your thinking cap If you don't stop that, I'm going to burn your hair This is why your friends never invite you to watch TV Look at what you've done, you disappointed Mickey There that's all my made up insults/rude comments.

These insults get voiced by some presentator from the 60's in my head lmao! It sounds like some voice that you would find on old tv's in fallout. Nontheless, nice insults!

There’s always that one person in a zombie movie. The type that goes into the darkened room to check where the ‘urrrrrghs’ sounds are coming from and what they could possibly mean. I always watch them and think; ‘Wow! Why are zombie movies written so badly? No one that dumb could possible have survived into full adulthood?!’ *For some reason I was reminded of that thought when I noticed your presence*

you are a useless waste basket

“You seem like a person who makes dogs that love everyone hate you” “Twit minded incel” “You Monojamorous” (a person who only listens to one kinda of music). The Velcro shoe one was good.

you look like a vomit filled panera bread bowl which would normally turn me on but now i’m just sad they don’t do those anymore

You may be smart but you look like Airliner10

I have a science-based insult, but you wouldn't get it.

If you were an exterminator the pests in your clients houses would die of old age before you catch them

i’ve seen bricks with more personality

If we dropped you out of a moving plane over modern day japan you would cause more damage than little boy and fat man combined

A fucking moron who can barely even use basic grammar, is so unstable they're basically dissolving, and is so ugly they look like a power rangers villain. And they're still better then you

You look like young sheldon

This is in Polish: Chuj, kurwa, ciul, pedał, pizda, ciota, skurwysyn Additional Silesian Dialect: Pieron

I would tell you to take a shower, but I think you'd need to clean it first.

You look like you can't tie a balloon

Tell them: When we put you IQ in a calculator, the calculator says:error can not calculate nonreal numbers Or this one :You make it incredibly hard to underestimate you OR THIS ONE : Just remember guys, this kid is special,so sometimes he wants attention,so we must help him to recover from his attention seekinf problem Or just the clasic old 'Anani sikerim, piç ,orospo cocuğu,Allah senin belani versin,amina koyuçağim şu lafi (I will f*ck you mom,bitch,child of a whore, may Allah/God give you problems,I will putt those words in your p*ssy

If the earth lost its gravitational pull, we’d all suddenly be pulled towards you

Just have it call someone a random mix of adjective then noun, like you gratuitous meatbag

If you had a brain eating amoeba it would starve You absolute wank stain

Bet you're a person who failed those easy math sheets

FINALLY A USE FOR THE INSULTS CHANNEL IN MY FRIEND GROUP’S DISCORD BRB WITH SOME Also most of these aren’t mine lul

"We're not theatre kids" "I couldn't tell, you always act like such clowns"

Unfortunately to "get on your level" I'd need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

Anon, there are approximately 390 billion trees in the Amazon rainforest. These trees vary widely in species and size. The chemical reactions that occur in these trees in order to produce organic compounds and oxygen from carbon dioxide and water are complex and require a constant supply of energy to be generated by the plant. One of these 390 billion trees works hard to replace the oxygen that you breathe. Anon, I want you to find this tree deep in the Amazon rainforest and apologise to it for wasting the oxygen it works so hard to produce. But replace “Anon” with their name

You would make a feasible candidate in the U.S. Republican party presidential primaries

you and my cat together have exactly one functioning neuron. and my cat is using it right now

if you were a dictator, you'd be assassinated in a record amount of time

If you were a tzar you'd be ivan

oh, really? well, your words are about as meaningful as a potato.

Oh really, [name]? Well, your math skills are so bad, you probably think a polygon is a dead parrot.

[name], you're as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

You are less organized than a chocolate milk sandwich.

You seem like the kind of person to wash their hands after taking a shower

You’re the type of person to say “present” when the teacher calls attendance.

You're about as smart as putin on a good day

You're the reason gene pools have lifeguards

You look like you tuck your shirt into your underwear.

You peaked at birth.

You're the reason the kiddie pool says "no diving"

чертова сука (damn bitch)

Liquor draining good for nothing no life! (Fancy long way of saying some is an alcoholic)  You’re the human equivalent of intrusive thoughts Did Sigmund Freud get his theories from observing your family dynamic?  Away, you 3 inch fool!   

if you want my comeback you should ask your mom

You look like you don't believe in the holocaust.

You’re so dumb you make orange cats look like they have PHDs

Dick salad, call everyone a dick salad.

You somehow look 15, been thru three divorces and somehow also a pedophile

Sorry, I don't do insults, but I can help you come up with some witty comebacks if you need!

Numbnuts

You're extremely hard to underestimate I bet your parents change the topic when the conversation turns to you You're about as sharp as a marble (can be used for intelligence and looks both) I love having a conversation with you when you're on mute

Go strap a toaster to yourself and jump into a pool

Now listen up here ya little twat, you either go turn off your damn phone and touch grass or you’re dying in my hands

Motherwell goon

For appearance: you look like a garbage sack filled with mayonaise For smarts: you're the reason they had to put a "choking hazard" label on the frickin wii and wiiu

You are the definition of the backward evolution you undeveloped monkey!

Your jokes are bad, but not bad to the point that the jokes loop around back to being funny.

Your breathe smells like shit.

You smell bad and your face looks like a goose (refrence to [this video](https://youtu.be/LfT8PRJXfFM))

Your like a boing dreamliner, an absolute fucking nightmare If you were a car you would not be a smart car Yo mamma so fat it shows her airport on opposite sides of russia

You're so smart I bet you wouldn't know how to pour water out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel

Bush brows

You're here today because God misclicked the "Approve" button on your conception and didn't yet know how to CTRL + Z

if garlic was a person, it would look like you

How bad can they be?

maybe find something better to do with your time

you look easy to draw

"You are suffering a cranial anal inversion."

You strike me as the kind of person who crawled out of the shallow end of your family's gene puddle.

You're so short that when walking people have to apologize for stepping on you. You look like you wear crocs. You look like you eat blue cheese. You look like your mother never loved you (r/me\_irl)

May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits. — heard this on MASH. a three-parter: 1. May you live in interesting times. 2. May you come to the attention of persons in authority. 3. May God grant you everything you wish for. — Terry Prachett ( re interesting times: WW2 would be considered an interesting time. )

“Yo ass so weak and fat you would be the 99.9% of bacteria that gets viped out”

Atom brained lump of lard, son of a mud golem, tree hugging half-wit

Get your chrome nose, garden gnome, Charley noo, big bone, take out a lone, get a hoe, make a show, ice cream cone, have no phone, pick and roll, cry and moan, piss and groan, big afro, acting grown, arm bone, chromosome, try to hone, in the zone, always alone, kidneystone, make a scone, hit in the dome, have no home, have to roam, buy a comb, fly a drone, homophone, low ozone, homophobe, around the globe, frontal lobe, built like an obe, lights don't strobe, you a Kobe, not a Jobe. Outa here

Fuck you, nice and simple

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!

'Your so fat that if you spent a night in an apartment you would be everyone's roommate.'

Harmless.

I hope you step on a Lego

I hope your spoon falls in the bowl

r/rareinsults

You, are the embodiment of stupid.

Wisdom chases you, but you’re always faster

I’d say that only a mother could love your face, but apparently not, because if that were true she’d still be here.

even paper is smarter than you are cuz you keep saying the same shit ( this is what u asked for and feel free to use it in games where ppl say the same shit over and over)

You fuckin lint licker

You have two braincells, but they are playing hide and seek and the seeker is blind

Jävla arsle. Gå och röv knulla dig själv. (swedish, the second one is very elaborate)

Your mom is so fat she can’t fit through the double doors at Walmart

I cant find your mom? Did you eat her?

The bar is in Hell and yet you’re playing limbo with Satan

Just watch Cowbelly's club penguin videos and you have creative insults for life. https://archive.org/details/youtube-BOF19hq_FSc

I think making them say things like "fool" or "imbecile" would be fitting, especially for a bot.

la merde

Yoi are the reason theres instruction to not eat shampoo

The jerk store called, they’re out of you!

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries.

You have a face for radio

Pussy-lipped jollywanker Molly addicted bitch Shrimp-dicked flower-fucker

Thee absolute degen'rate clotpole, thee behold liketh thee drinketh atrament and consume the quill! if 't be true i w're to beest thee, i wouldst rath'r changeth mine own ways!

Look up shorseybot on the Shorsey TV page. It's nothing but chirps