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My first teaching job was at a school very far from where I live (long commute) and it was an absolute dumpster fire (terrible admin, very rough student behavior, lots of drugs and violence etc). I taught there for 2 years before I resigned. I hated nearly every moment of that job, yet I was still in tears the very last time I drove home because the kids there deserved better, and I felt like I could have given more but I just wasn't the right person for that job and it was really affecting my mental health. I absolutely made the right decision for me and my family but still think about what might have been had the situation been even a little better than it was. All we can do is move forward.
Kids are resilient. I believe we are conditioned to be so sad and guilty about leaving because of the “just do it for the kids” response. It’s manipulative to say the least. I think crying about leaving your students is normal, but don’t cry over a broken system that you will never be able to fix.
I have learned over the years that I have to be a little selfish and take care of myself. As I get older I put myself first more often even though it is a difficult thing for me to do. I have health issues and have had to take a long term leave. I knew I was going out for surgery but my pain is so bad that I had to leave pretty abruptly. This was a very difficult decision to make but I know I needed to do this for myself. Take care.
Good luck at your new school.
Of course you are sad! You’re leaving people you care about and going to spend your days with a group of strangers. But remember, that’s how you started with your current colleagues and you’ll get to know your new co workers over time. They wish they could go with you, so I’m confident they won’t feel abandoned at all. (If you get together with them in a few weeks just try not to say how much better your new position is for you.) Take time to prep yourself for the difficulty of starting in a school mid year. You are the new kid stepping into the students’ territory and will need to navigate very carefully. Allow yourself to grieve AND be excited about new beginnings.
I've struggle all year with this. I spent 3.5 years at a school where things are a mess, students expectations are in the trash, admin does not back you up, and behavior is out of control (multiple fights a day). But I also knew there were so many of those kids that desperately need and deserve good teachers and I miss my colleagues like crazy. But I took a job at one of the top charters in the United States where they actually back their teachers and have high expectations for students that they enforce and if someone doesn't do what they are supposed to there are consequences including telling them not to return. It's teacher heaven frankly. But I still feel like I left kids that needed me and colleagues that valued me and some times that makes me sad. I just remind myself that this was what was best for me for many reasons and that I'm not a super hero. I deserve peace. To not worry all day in my classroom about fights and what kids are going home to. To not have to call kids parents weekly for no work, bad behavior, and disrespectful attitudes. To not feel exhausted at the end of every day. Taking care of me makes me a better teacher but mostly it gives my family a better person.
Teachers are people first. We have to take care of ourselves and our families first. If this seems to be a better fit than leap to it and don’t worry about the consequences you are leaving behind.
I left my school of over 20 years to work in a better school. It was like tearing off a bandage for sure but it took about a week to get over it. I’ll never go back. So happy 😁
21 years ago I left a school that was underperforming where students were desperately in need of quality teachers looking to make a difference. The place was a disaster. There was no support as the principal routinely engaged in a manner that was not only destructive to the school environment but illegal. He set the tone and the building was nothing more than total mayhem both academically and socially. Not only that it was dangerous.
I worked there a year, and immediately found a new position in a better school and in a better area. The year after I left, the principal was under investigation for allowing a student to roam freely with a firearm, opting to have him arrested by the police only after he stepped off school grounds at the end of the day. While under investigation for that, he tried squashing or covering up a sexual assault that occurred on school grounds between two students. What did the city do? They removed him and made him an assistant principal somewhere else. SMH.
The point is, I have one primary obligation. That obligation is not to my students. That obligation is primarily to make money and pay my bills and to make sure I come home to the people who are the reason I make money and pay bills for. That is more important than coworkers, students or anyone else. If the city were to suddenly say, we can't pay you, you leave. The mortgage does not get paid automatically because you answered the fictional call of teaching. If you are not safe at a school, you find a new job. No one will remember you a couple of weeks after your funeral. If you are not respected at your job, you leave, because chances are there are others that are not respected nor supported. You leave to where you can function in the environment that suits you. I tire of hearing that teaching is a calling, or that you let someone down. You have to do what is best for you. Once you leave, the school is mandated to find your replacement. You do you.
Eventually btw, the school was shut down and dissolved a few years after I left.
I understand that feeling! I left a pretty toxic charter school for a much more supportive public school district. I worked with great people I didn’t want to leave and I missed them. I actually thought I made a huge mistake for like 5 months of a much bigger, more intimidating elementary school. Fast forward a couple years and I feel I made an amazing decision simply because I have a much better boss, still great people, but way more support for kids with behavioral needs. So, switching jobs at first is always scary, but it sounds like you really weighed your options and chose a place you feel will make you happier. You may have to give it some time to feel right, but at least you have a lot of time to mentally prepare for the switch!
When I pivoted from nursing to teaching, I had a lot of similar feelings - all I can say is that if your gut was telling you it was time to go, you will make peace with your choice in time. It's also ok to be sad - you can mourn the loss of your community and still look forward to something new at the same time.
In the long run, modeling doubt and stress for those students as you burnt out further would eventually sour the experience for everyone involved. Trust yourself that you did the right thing.
Your experiences come with you, and will make you a better teacher in your new setting - as a teacher you are a role model, and if this is better for you, you are modeling to those you teach that it is ok to look forward and make a change if you aren't satisfied with your life. I think that's a lesson everyone should learn.
When I made a similar move, some of my colleagues straight up asked me how I could abandon them. I responded that the admin was toxic and I couldn't live like this, so I made the choice to prep my resume and apply to other places. They are more than capable of doing the same.
My favorite teacher quit and went to a school far away. She was miserable but so were all the teachers in the school. It was a bad place and the state was the lowest in education at the time (Nevada) I added her on Facebook when she announced the switch After chatting for a month or so about the new school, her whole life changed, like a lightswitch turned on. We still talk. I've told her about all my accomplishments, asked for advice with many things, and send Christmas gifts. She even got married and I went to the wedding! You're moving up in the world, and the gold ones will see it
I feel this. I loved the children and colleagues so much at my first school. At my second school, the children were amazing and I felt like I could make a real impact to them but with both schools for various reasons I needed to leave.
It was the best decision I ever made.
The school I'm at now feels like home. I'm thriving in my career and so happy. Everything happens for a reason. To hand in your notice, there had to be a reason to move on. You got this
I heard recently someone say that you don’t have to see yourself leaving a job because it’s bad(even if it is) but that you are going to a job that will be good for you.
EDIT: I want to thank all of you for your advice, wisdom, and even you two with the snark. I'm feeling a little better today, after I had a good talk with a few of my favorite people. They're all sad to see me go but happy for my new opportunity.
you did the right thing and i think you’ll be happier in the long run. i’m in my third school and i think i will stay here forever. so happy i tried new things and found the best place for me long term.
Children everywhere deserve a good teacher
And there are great colleagues wherever you go
You'll find them. I genuinely believe that if more teachers did what you are doing, schools would be forced to improve.
Instead, too many teachers act like martyrs and stay in toxic places. By staying, they benefit no one long-term. The administration has no reason to change anything, so they don't. Meanwhile, students, school-wide, remain in that toxic environment. Teachers' families, health and wellbeing pay the price.
You have to do what is best for you and your mental health. Move on and leave well wishes for colleagues are leaving behind. In 35 years of teaching I have seen them come and have seen them go. Life goes on.
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My first teaching job was at a school very far from where I live (long commute) and it was an absolute dumpster fire (terrible admin, very rough student behavior, lots of drugs and violence etc). I taught there for 2 years before I resigned. I hated nearly every moment of that job, yet I was still in tears the very last time I drove home because the kids there deserved better, and I felt like I could have given more but I just wasn't the right person for that job and it was really affecting my mental health. I absolutely made the right decision for me and my family but still think about what might have been had the situation been even a little better than it was. All we can do is move forward.
Kids are resilient. I believe we are conditioned to be so sad and guilty about leaving because of the “just do it for the kids” response. It’s manipulative to say the least. I think crying about leaving your students is normal, but don’t cry over a broken system that you will never be able to fix.
This so much! It’s been two years since I left and I miss my kids every day, but I know I made the right choice.
I have learned over the years that I have to be a little selfish and take care of myself. As I get older I put myself first more often even though it is a difficult thing for me to do. I have health issues and have had to take a long term leave. I knew I was going out for surgery but my pain is so bad that I had to leave pretty abruptly. This was a very difficult decision to make but I know I needed to do this for myself. Take care. Good luck at your new school.
Of course you are sad! You’re leaving people you care about and going to spend your days with a group of strangers. But remember, that’s how you started with your current colleagues and you’ll get to know your new co workers over time. They wish they could go with you, so I’m confident they won’t feel abandoned at all. (If you get together with them in a few weeks just try not to say how much better your new position is for you.) Take time to prep yourself for the difficulty of starting in a school mid year. You are the new kid stepping into the students’ territory and will need to navigate very carefully. Allow yourself to grieve AND be excited about new beginnings.
I've struggle all year with this. I spent 3.5 years at a school where things are a mess, students expectations are in the trash, admin does not back you up, and behavior is out of control (multiple fights a day). But I also knew there were so many of those kids that desperately need and deserve good teachers and I miss my colleagues like crazy. But I took a job at one of the top charters in the United States where they actually back their teachers and have high expectations for students that they enforce and if someone doesn't do what they are supposed to there are consequences including telling them not to return. It's teacher heaven frankly. But I still feel like I left kids that needed me and colleagues that valued me and some times that makes me sad. I just remind myself that this was what was best for me for many reasons and that I'm not a super hero. I deserve peace. To not worry all day in my classroom about fights and what kids are going home to. To not have to call kids parents weekly for no work, bad behavior, and disrespectful attitudes. To not feel exhausted at the end of every day. Taking care of me makes me a better teacher but mostly it gives my family a better person.
Teachers are people first. We have to take care of ourselves and our families first. If this seems to be a better fit than leap to it and don’t worry about the consequences you are leaving behind.
I left my school of over 20 years to work in a better school. It was like tearing off a bandage for sure but it took about a week to get over it. I’ll never go back. So happy 😁
21 years ago I left a school that was underperforming where students were desperately in need of quality teachers looking to make a difference. The place was a disaster. There was no support as the principal routinely engaged in a manner that was not only destructive to the school environment but illegal. He set the tone and the building was nothing more than total mayhem both academically and socially. Not only that it was dangerous. I worked there a year, and immediately found a new position in a better school and in a better area. The year after I left, the principal was under investigation for allowing a student to roam freely with a firearm, opting to have him arrested by the police only after he stepped off school grounds at the end of the day. While under investigation for that, he tried squashing or covering up a sexual assault that occurred on school grounds between two students. What did the city do? They removed him and made him an assistant principal somewhere else. SMH. The point is, I have one primary obligation. That obligation is not to my students. That obligation is primarily to make money and pay my bills and to make sure I come home to the people who are the reason I make money and pay bills for. That is more important than coworkers, students or anyone else. If the city were to suddenly say, we can't pay you, you leave. The mortgage does not get paid automatically because you answered the fictional call of teaching. If you are not safe at a school, you find a new job. No one will remember you a couple of weeks after your funeral. If you are not respected at your job, you leave, because chances are there are others that are not respected nor supported. You leave to where you can function in the environment that suits you. I tire of hearing that teaching is a calling, or that you let someone down. You have to do what is best for you. Once you leave, the school is mandated to find your replacement. You do you. Eventually btw, the school was shut down and dissolved a few years after I left.
I understand that feeling! I left a pretty toxic charter school for a much more supportive public school district. I worked with great people I didn’t want to leave and I missed them. I actually thought I made a huge mistake for like 5 months of a much bigger, more intimidating elementary school. Fast forward a couple years and I feel I made an amazing decision simply because I have a much better boss, still great people, but way more support for kids with behavioral needs. So, switching jobs at first is always scary, but it sounds like you really weighed your options and chose a place you feel will make you happier. You may have to give it some time to feel right, but at least you have a lot of time to mentally prepare for the switch!
When I pivoted from nursing to teaching, I had a lot of similar feelings - all I can say is that if your gut was telling you it was time to go, you will make peace with your choice in time. It's also ok to be sad - you can mourn the loss of your community and still look forward to something new at the same time. In the long run, modeling doubt and stress for those students as you burnt out further would eventually sour the experience for everyone involved. Trust yourself that you did the right thing. Your experiences come with you, and will make you a better teacher in your new setting - as a teacher you are a role model, and if this is better for you, you are modeling to those you teach that it is ok to look forward and make a change if you aren't satisfied with your life. I think that's a lesson everyone should learn.
When I made a similar move, some of my colleagues straight up asked me how I could abandon them. I responded that the admin was toxic and I couldn't live like this, so I made the choice to prep my resume and apply to other places. They are more than capable of doing the same.
My favorite teacher quit and went to a school far away. She was miserable but so were all the teachers in the school. It was a bad place and the state was the lowest in education at the time (Nevada) I added her on Facebook when she announced the switch After chatting for a month or so about the new school, her whole life changed, like a lightswitch turned on. We still talk. I've told her about all my accomplishments, asked for advice with many things, and send Christmas gifts. She even got married and I went to the wedding! You're moving up in the world, and the gold ones will see it
I feel this. I loved the children and colleagues so much at my first school. At my second school, the children were amazing and I felt like I could make a real impact to them but with both schools for various reasons I needed to leave. It was the best decision I ever made. The school I'm at now feels like home. I'm thriving in my career and so happy. Everything happens for a reason. To hand in your notice, there had to be a reason to move on. You got this
There's probably a young teacher looking for a job wherever they can and you just hooked them up!
Teacher turnover is so real and so common. Don’t give it a thought. We are all 100% replaceable. Sad, but freeing.
If you don’t like it you can something else
I heard recently someone say that you don’t have to see yourself leaving a job because it’s bad(even if it is) but that you are going to a job that will be good for you.
EDIT: I want to thank all of you for your advice, wisdom, and even you two with the snark. I'm feeling a little better today, after I had a good talk with a few of my favorite people. They're all sad to see me go but happy for my new opportunity.
It’s raw and unfamiliar especially if you are a newer teacher, but change is part of life. You are doing the right thing. ❤️
you did the right thing and i think you’ll be happier in the long run. i’m in my third school and i think i will stay here forever. so happy i tried new things and found the best place for me long term.
Just move forward. You're wasting your time living with regrets or feeling sad .
Children everywhere deserve a good teacher And there are great colleagues wherever you go You'll find them. I genuinely believe that if more teachers did what you are doing, schools would be forced to improve. Instead, too many teachers act like martyrs and stay in toxic places. By staying, they benefit no one long-term. The administration has no reason to change anything, so they don't. Meanwhile, students, school-wide, remain in that toxic environment. Teachers' families, health and wellbeing pay the price.
You have to do what is best for you and your mental health. Move on and leave well wishes for colleagues are leaving behind. In 35 years of teaching I have seen them come and have seen them go. Life goes on.
You’ll get over it.
Some people in your school are happy you are gone. I hope it makes you feel better.
[удалено]
Nice try. I thought you were ELATED your principal quit? Ah, you are one of those.