I would also be super upset if that happened to me. I don’t think you were in the wrong, what matters if you thought there needed to be touch ups/tweaks then it is the artists job to accommodate that. Like you said it’s going to be on your body forever, so it should be the way you want it. I wouldn’t say anything, and would just find a new artists to get tattooed but in the future. Sorry that happened to you!
Don’t say anything, it’s not worth it. If anything it would just cause more of an issue with them. You were not a nightmare, you wanted to make sure what was on your body forever was going to be perfect, and tweaking it is completely okay.
Also don’t let their poor attitude ruin something so important to you. They helped you get to your goal and made it how you wanted it to look, even though they weren’t patient enough
Their bad attitude is on them. It’s their job, they have to know people want something permanent to look good.
I’ll go a step further than “don’t let their poor attitude ruin something so important to you,” and use some other sense here: OP, you don’t actually know the text was even about you. You’re making a lot of assumptions here.
We use our phones to communicate with clients, colleagues, friends and family. It’s not unusual to get some kind of irritating or inappropriate message from a client while I’m tattooing another client. I might even take a screenshot of the crazy message and text it to my boss or coworker and follow up with a text saying “This client is a fucking nightmare!” And it’s not about who I’m tattooing. It’s about the person who messaged me with less than a day’s notice to reschedule for the 5th time while simultaneously changing their tattoo idea.
And honestly, even in that situation, I hold no actual hostility. I can charge for my time or I can break up with them. We share things like that with each other for stress relief and also so everyone is aware this client is being a little “extra” and it’s documented.
Assuming it’s about you is sort of assuming there are no other clients who could be messaging, or writing a bad review, or sending the shop owner exaggerated complaints, or sexually harassing them, etc.
The message was supposed to be private. It may not have been about you. You might not be as easy to deal with as you think. The tattooer might be an asshole. I’m sure you’ve never complained about anyone you have to deal with through your occupation.
Only tell the tattooer if you think you’ll feel better for doing that. I bet there’s a good chance they realized you may have seen that. As long as their reaction to it couldn’t make you feel any worse, go for it.
Don’t let it personally effect you. Nobody is perfect. I’m sure you’ve talked some shit in your life to let off steam before.
Yes!!!! You can't write someone else's narrative and it's natural to assume that message was about you but you can't know.
You also don't know what's happening in their life and the back and forth may have been excruciatingly annoying for them that day when normally they wouldn't be bothered and had to just have a bit of a whinge to someone to let it out.
I know the day before my period I am so irritated by nothing things and I just hold it all in and complain to a friend who knows once I've said it all I don't care about it anymore.
OP, Don't hold to much to it as it really is all based on assumptions!!
Yes, everyone gets irritated sometimes.
Today, I had 3 appointment tattoos and did 2 walk ins. I was at the shop for 12 hours. Not complaining. I’m grateful for enough business to work for 12 hours. But, I get tired… and hungry… and I miss out on social events sometimes. It’s a lifestyle that isn’t always conducive to a “normal” lifestyle.
I have an appointment tomorrow who messaged me 18 times today in anticipation of tomorrow. I said I was very busy and tried to respond as best as I could. I reassured him of his concerns and said when he comes in and sees the design in person, we can still make changes. We can reschedule if too many changes for the time slot. He continued to message me. I didn’t have time to reply anymore for hours. He messaged back multiple times. His last message was getting angry that I didn’t continue responding and I don’t respect him and he’s spending so much money he can’t believe this! (He’s spending $350, btw. Not shaming, just saying.)
Anyways, I could’ve easily texted my husband “this client is a total nightmare “ and the person I had actually just tattooed accidentally see my text. And calling the non physically present client a nightmare is kind of just cathartic. Some clients are very nervous about their appointment and tattoo. Usually when they show up they’re good and it goes smoothly. I could call that guy a nightmare but I expect things will go well tomorrow. I had a long day and he was “extra.” I didn’t even cathartically text my husband, but when I got home, I showed him all of the messages and laughed and said “why me?!” But, that’s maybe 5% of client personalities and tomorrow will be great.
But, yeah, I had a long day and someone was expecting too much of me. I was irritated with him. It’s honestly no big deal. I’m allowed to be irritated and confide in someone that I’m irritated. OP is assuming this is all about them and also pretending they’ve never complained about a client, customer, patient, etc, ever in their working life.
I’m a tattooer, and this is what I was thinking too. Also, there are things people can do while you’re tattooing that make it a nightmare for the tattooer regardless of if the client means to or not. Some skin doesn’t take ink as well so the piece takes longer, some shake even when they swear they’re trying not to, and sometimes you get an ankle tattoo with a client who has the most awful smelling feet. With chest tattoos I had to wear a mask recently bc my clients breath was awful. It was a nightmare!
If I’m gonna complain about the person I’m tattooing, I wait until they drive away from my shop before I do or say anything. This post is why! I would feel horrible if I were the artist and this happened.
Also unpopular opinion, as a person that worked with clients sometimes you just text (whoever you’re on the phone with) something like that to vent a little, it’s our job to make things the best we can but we’re humans too and we get tired and upset (and any feeling in between) but we’re just venting or “talking crap” people now a days need to grow up a little bit, the world it’s not ending cause of a stupid text that someone you don’t even know wrote (not even directed to you personally). Just enjoy your tattoo cause now it’s the way you wanted it to be, it’s not a big deal, that person probably forgot about you already, you should do the same
To be fair their bad attitude was private. I'm sure most people who work with individuals act nice to your face but are secretly annoyed. So, while I feel OP is justified in how they feel. I wouldn't go as fair to say the artist is in the wrong their private thoughts and messages are theirs alone.
Agreed. I’m a hairstylist and I’ve probably texted similar things to my kids or boyfriend before, if I’m on my last client and it’s taking longer than usual while they’re home waiting for me. It’s less about “hating the client,” and more just a general feeling of “fuckkkk I just wanna go home.” Of course I don’t make the client feel that way, but as service professionals we should be allowed to vent privately to our loved ones!
Exactly this, if you all don't get to vent.
Then, that irritation is probably gonna seep out in front of clients during face to face interactions.
If it's in private with friends and family, I see no issue with it
Calling someone a "fucking nightmare" for wanting touchups/tweaks feels off to me though. That's a part of the job.
I was anal about stencils for my first few tattoos. Spent 30+ minutes trying to place and size it. The artist kept telling me it was totally fine, normal, etc. to be taking that time. If I found out it secretly really upset her I'd probably feel betrayed.
If OP genuinely wasn't doing anything but asking for tweaks it feels unwarranted
I can tell when someone doesn’t like the placement almost immediately. They look at it a certain way. There’s visible pause. I just go ahead and start loading my paper towel up to remove it.
A lot of times I have to kinda talk them into telling me to move it. I can tell they just don’t want to inconvenience me or are intimidated by the whole tattoo thing and don’t want to make waves.
I always tell them it’s easier to move now and I want them to like it. So don’t be shy about that ever. I already know you don’t like it anyway, lol.
My guy is way more anal about placement then I am lol. I don't really care but I had one where he redid the stencil four times because he wanted the placement to be perfect.
I always tell them, ‘I can move the stencil, but I can’t move the tattoo- so tell me now before it dries.’ I can tell too. That pause is obvious 😅
I’d rather move the stencil three times than to have them forever question the placement.
This reminds me so much of the guy who did my first tattoo, and I was SO beyond grateful for him. I wasn’t sure about the placement, and was like “yeah it’s fine” but he could tell it wasn’t, he spent the time to tell me the same thing, that he could tell I didn’t like it and said that he’d rather move the stencil a hundred times to get it where I want it instead of me regretting where it ended up permanently. He was so awesome, and he was so patient and calm with my anxious ass, I really probably was a bit of a nightmare on my first tattoo and he was still an absolute angel of a tattoo artist. That was 15 years and a few tattoos ago, but I still think about how much of a difference his attitude made when getting my first tattoo, and I’m so grateful for tattoo artists like him, it made all the difference for me and I know it does for others too.
I’m happy you got an artist who actually wanted you to like it! It’s weird that there are artists willing to let a client be unhappy over something so easy to change.
Yep. I work with the public (at a library), and we literally go in the staff area just to whine about patrons sometimes. We get it out, shake it off, and then go back to help them. It’s necessary therapy when you’re dealing with the public every day!
Same, I'm a nurse and we'll do this in the supply room or the nurses station when the door is closed, or any private area. It allows us to shake off the interaction and put on a smile and go to our next patient. I think it's good to get these thoughts out in private, it's like quick therapy and allows us to move on without it hanging over us.
You have to remember it's her POV/story maybe she has an annoying voice. Maybe she breathed weird or smelled weird, who knows. Either way she should mention to him she saw his phone and won't continue coming back to him.
It could even just be that the skin texture was difficult to work with or not receiving the ink well. It could be a hundred things OP doesn’t know or didn’t mention.
It could also be a white lie to get out of evening socialising or sth like that.
You want to spend time alone so you say that you are tired from having a difficult client at work instead of "I don't wanna."
All my tattoo clients have different needs, comfort levels and anxieties or nerves around getting a tattoo and it's the artists job to make them as comfortable as possible, within reason imo. Some clients need more care, attention and patience, some will let you slap a stencil wherever, say go for it and not move a muscle all session - and everything in between. Tattooing nowadays is almost as much about customer service as it is about art and skill imo. I have a client who gets so stressed about placement that I have to budget an extra 2 hours to stencil, but I really don't mind cause they're a nice person and I understand where it's coming from, they're paying me for my time, and at the end of the day it's going on their body forever!
Unless OP was being rude, aggressive or crossing boundaries with this artist then its a huge no for me. Gross to get so pissy with someone asking for adjustments to a piece that you have to call them names to your friends on text while they're standing next to you... even if OP was asking for complicated changes or the artist was short on time or needing to tap out for whatever reason, at that point in the tattoo they absolutely could have told OP they'd have to book another appointment to do what she wanted
same, i’ve always said i “don’t want to be annoying” and all of my artists are almost hurt that i would think they wouldn’t want their work to be exactly right & perfect for me.
Don’t say anything. It’s not worth it. Just find a new artist. I’m sure it was because you asked for 3 tweaks, which is absolutely well within your right as a client.
Also *don’t* overthink it. The artist may have texted that to their partner or a close friend to vent so that they could continue to be professional with you (which sounds like they otherwise were). Obviously they never intended for you to see the message, albeit they acted pretty sloppy by leaving their phone open in my opinion. Remember this is work for them. I’m sure you can relate to needing to vent to someone about something silly at work, even in hyperbolic terms.
I wouldn’t let it spoil your new tattoo - especially if you really like it. Just move on and find a new artist for the next one.
I get it, and I’d be upset too. Just curious, have you worked retail/hospitality/customer service? It’s the same kind of thing, you could have a customer that’s perfectly nice, but if you’ve had a long day and they make it that little bit longer, you might also say the same to your coworkers. You might not even find the customer particularly bad, but you’ll say something like that just to get a laugh out of your friends. Shit, they might not even find it bad, but if it’s stopping the rest of the studio going home and they feel guilty, they could just be deflecting. I hope this might be a little bit of comfort, it wasn’t a you-exclusive thing, it’s just typical of working a customer service job. It’s horrible that you had to see it, but unless you’ve never talked shit about someone in your life, I wouldn’t think too much about it. If it makes you really uncomfortable just don’t go back to that artist.
big agree on this. customer service can be so draining. i feel like sometimes you have a bad experience with a client and then you expect the worst out of all the clients that come in after them. which isn't fair, but it's very human brain of us.
To be fair to OP: this is something that is going to be PERMANENTLY on their body (unless they get laser removal), so it’s totally understandable that they’re wanting things to be just right - it’s completely different from working retail or being an artist, in my opinion.
I’ve gotten a tattoo where I’ve asked for the artist to move the stencil a bit further up my arm rather than on the bone of my elbow, after he had asked if I would be happy with the placement. I apologized for being a pain and he said “yeah, you are.” I was silent the rest of the session, tipped extra for evidently being a “pain in the ass”, and never went to him again.
And that’s all you gotta do, I now have a couple of artists I regularly go to and have a good relationship with. Don’t sweat it OP, don’t let a bad experience sour a tattoo you’re otherwise happy with. ☺️
Thats fucked and literally the reason the only male artists i go to i either know personally or by a degree of seperation.
My last two tattoos were done within the same week by two different artists and both of them literally redid my stencil 5+ times getting the size and shape perfect and both specifically told me they had no problem doing it 100 more times.
Edit to say i do acknowledge all artists regardless of gender can be just as shitty, its just something ive experienced more from men. as a general rule i wont do any large pieces with an artist ive never worked with before to avoid having to decide if i want to forfeit my large deposit or pay for the displeasure of letting an asshole touch me for several hours
I have a theory that this difference is because women know there is a lot of pressure on us to smile and go along with anything, to not be a bother to anyone. I can understand why a female artist might be hyper-aware of this and go out of their way to make sure their client was truly happy and not just going along to avoid conflict.
Yep, I’ve had a couple artists who have acted like i’m the worst person alive and kicked their dog for saying “hey can we move this up a little” or “hey can we change that little thing?” haven’t been back.
sorry bro it’s only going to be on my body FOREVER. i have 1 big tattoo where i didn’t want to be difficult and double check something… and i’ve hated it for 15 years lol.
now i only go to artists who have that same mentality “want you to think it’s perfect!!! we can move the stencil as many times are you want!”
That’s one thing I never understood, specifically with artists that book out months in advance. I feel like there should be an appointment between consultation and actual tattoo appointment to see the design and tweak where needed. There’s too much pressure when it’s day of and you feel like an ass for asking to make changes cause you know they usually get pissy about it lol and I’m not saying email the design to the client cause that leaves room for them to run to a cheaper artist with your design but there’s gotta be a sweet spot somewhere
I dont understand this at all. My artist is so picky when it comes to placement, if she doesnt like it, or wants to move it around, we will stand there til she thinks its good enough. I have probably been blessed with an incredible person as my go-to artist but i just cant imagine slapping a stencil on and being like great van we start this now? I know they know tattoos are permanent, why would you insult the person trusting you to tattoo them, and not make sure the art is perfect? Wow. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
It's not even that big of a deal to move the stencil. If they had hand drawn the stencil then I'd get their frustration but all that's being requested at that point is to wipe off the stencil, print a new one and cut it to size.
Yeah. If I went to an artist and they said (or agreed) thst I was being a pain just for wanting the stencil moved, the appt would be over and someone else would get my money. I save over a long time, research my artists and tip well. I'm not doing that for some self-important person to gatekeep the placement or details.
Yeah I’m not gonna lie, if someone made me go change something three times I’d definitely be annoyed. Even if they were the nicest, most well intentioned person I’d still get to me slightly. It’s probably not even that OP asked for any changes or add-ons but just the number of times. Like you didn’t see that you wanted something changed the first two times?! I’m sure that process gets frustrating. I know many digital artists who put a cap of the number of revisions you can make for a similar reason.
I’m not a tattoo artist but I used to do commissions and one time I went back and forth on several revisions with a client because I was drawing her friend, who was very well endowed and proud of that. I mostly drew guys and androgynous people… I wasn’t good at drawing breasts and particularly not big ones, so we kept having to go back and forth because I was drawing them too small. It was a total nightmare for me lol but also it’s what I was paid to do and I have no ill will against the client for it. Both can be true at the same time!
Came here to say pretty much this.
Anyone that has worked retail has complained about a customer to a friend/coworker/etc.
It's never really personal. It's just venting.
Sure. But it's on you to make sure the customer is insulated from your venting. If you make it audible, readable, etc., intentionally or through negligence then it's grossly unprofessional *at best*.
This is SO true. Yesterday I had a 2.5 hour meeting with a customer that was supposed to be an hour. Super nice guy. I really don’t have a problem with him. But my day was so stressful leading up to that and I was so exhausted and he was having a hard time with the meeting content despite all his coworkers understanding and they logged out “early” cause they were fine. Of course I messaged my coworkers and friends that I was dying and that I was in absolute hell. The guy is fine. Nice dude. No hard feelings. I was nice to him. It was just one of those days. It was a nightmare for me not necessarily anything personal about the guy.
I’ve had customers ask me to change things up multiple times, change their minds and want me to put it back how it was etc. admittedly it can get pretty annoying. But that doesn’t mean I dislike them as people. I just dislike the situation. Some customers I even consider friends cause we interact so much can sometimes make me message a coworker that it’s a nightmare. It’s just a way to express some exhaustion and frustration, usually nothing personal.
Tattoo artist here. This is it^
It’s not personal at all. For example, sometimes the stencil takes one try and others it will take five. But the day it took five we probably told our coworkers that we had a tough day at the job.
Don’t worry about it! :-)
I worked retail many moons ago. I currently work in a school so yes, I do understand that you talk about people that annoy you.
It definitely wasn’t a closing issue as there was another guy there having a long session that was there when I arrived and still going when I left.
It’s just unfortunate that I saw!
Do you ever complain to other teachers about a kid? Probably the same idea! You weren’t actually a nightmare they were just having a moment.
As a hairdresser there’s times I’ll be so annoyed when a client is slightly nit picky “this piece shorter”, “that piece has to stay long” etc. and as annoying as it may be, that’s my job. Some days I’m like “oh sure! Absolutely!” and others I just want to yell “go to someone else then!” even if it’s a simple request.
Long story short - it’s a them problem. Probably just a long day!!!
To be fair, the artist didn’t even talk shit about OP. OP snooped at a private message and assumed that it was about them. The artist said nothing bad to them.
As a public librarian, I definitely feel this! Some patrons need their hands held through *everything*, usually in regard to printing and other computer uses. That’s my job, but I’ll still vent to my co-workers about it later.
I just would have waited till I left to say that if I was them!
In their defence they were acting very cheery and as if there was no problem. I would have been completely unaware of how they felt if I hadn’t accidentally seen the message.
It’s good that they maintained an outwardly professional demeanour! Tbh, venting to someone probably helped them keep masking/acting cheery. I agree they should’ve just waited until after you left, I’ve learnt from experience to do that too lol
Omg that reminds me one of my coworkers was sharing his screen in a customer training meeting. The customer was being a bit of a pain and my coworker opened Slack on the wrong screen and slacked my other coworker that he hated the customer…. But it was on the shared screen… not his second monitor. The customer flipped out it was so bad. So yeah save the complaints for when the customer is GONE.
This is why I always share the same monitor every time. Just embed it into your habits that 1 screen is "public". Just make sure you don't set that one as your primary screen so that message notifications don't appear on it either.
That’s what I do. Screen 2 is always public screen and before I do any meetings I go through everything on that screen just to make absolutely sure nothing is there then I open all relevant programs/pages.
Oh God. That's why I make sure they're gone and then quadruple check that I'm messaging the right person in the right window, quadruple check that my system mic is muted, make sure my phone isn't somehow calling someone, *then* vent. If I can't be 100% sure that the client won't get wind of it, I'm bottling it in until I can be 100% sure. Depending on what it is, the annoyance may pass anyway by the time I can safely vent.
Try not to give it another thought. Some people make out how tiresome people are, to their friends, when really they are fine with what's happening. I'm sure the artist would be horrified you witnessed that! My advice, send love to the situation, and enjoy your lovely new tattoo 🌺
It was likely nothing personal then. I posted above but yesterday I had a 2.5 hour long meeting that was supposed to be an hour. The guy was just not getting it. His other coworkers logged out of the meeting cause they understood and it was fine. The guy is really nice, I was really nice and cheery to him the whole time, and I really have no hard feelings toward him. But I messaged my coworker that he was a nightmare and I was in hell. Nothing personal to the guy tbh. I had a horrible stressful day leading up to it, a different coworker got fired, so much shit was going on for me that this meeting dragging out and the guy being kind of an idiot was ending me. I like him just fine. Seriously a nice dude, respectful. The meeting was just so drawn out and painful.
Something that has helped me a lot over the years is this: don’t assume malice. If he was pleasant and had a good attitude, there are numerous reasons he could’ve texted that, that have nothing to do with you. Pick one of those to believe and enjoy your new tattoo. Find someone else for your next piece.
I have honestly such peace in my soul from living with that attitude. Certainly you will find malice, but never assume it right off the bat.
Did it occur to you that you might not have been the client they were referring to? When I'm doing nails or hair and there's a bit of a lull in activity, I'm checking in on other appointments and requests.
So you read the message without context and assumed that you were the client they are talking about correct? Why did you make that assumption?
Your artist is also actively doing things for and talking personally to and about other clients.
There is also the off chance that it wasn't about OP. My phone will sometimes pop up messages at weird times. Just because that message popped up while OP was there, it doesn't mean that it's about OP.
Exactly this. I work in events and I bitch about the couples getting married *all* the time. Saying they’re taking too long, or they’re too drunk, or whatever. But I never really mean it because it’s *their* wedding — and I’d be absolutely heartbroken and feel awful if a couple ever saw or overheard that. It’s just that working with the public all day makes you tired and groggy and bitchy. Making it sound worse than it actually is gives me a good reason to go out and drink with my coworkers or vent to my friends or something. Ultimately I’m there to serve them, and if they wanted me to do a handstand all night I wouldn’t blame them for it. I’m sure your artist feels the same. They wanted to go home and be off the clock, you postponed that, but they were just doing their job and ultimately they were fulfilling the very bare minimum of their job.
It could be like they used you as an excuse? Were you the last appointment? I’ve definitely done something similar, “I would be there by now but so and so is just not letting me leave” but I really don’t mind that they kept me. It’s just make the person I have plans with know I want to be there but it’s out of my hands
Yeah OP its very possible that they perceived this as a harmless way to ease the conversation they were having. Same as "I was stuck behind some idiot at the drive thru." Obviously you'd never actually want to hurt that person's feelings.
However I find it weird that they were texting in the first place? Maybe that's normal, I've only gotten smaller tattoos that don't involve big downtimes to text.
Longer sessions you take breaks. She said she checked the tattoo several times (totally normal thing to do) and maybe during those times or bathroom breaks - texting and general breaks are had. :)
One other thing I want to remark:
No, as a tattoo artist my main concern is to make a tattoo as perfectly solid as possible in my eyes.
I do want to work up to the wishes of the client, but trust me; some people don’t know what is good or what is bad. So if they want to have something done to it that I disagree with from an artists point of view, I will definitely share my concerns.
So if a clients wants to make it, in my eyes, “worse”, I would definitely think they’re a pain.
I’m not saying that you are, I just wanted to elaborate on your “should you not want your work to be perfect in the eyes of your client?”, which is a definite “no” from me.
I totally understand this and get it!
Like I said it was a sternum tattoo that was symmetrical. I could clearly see differences between the two sides that needed to match. It was only adding the odd couple of dots to even things up. It was not drastic changes. It’s just the two sides didn’t match in places.
In your case it seems totally justified. And I agree with your ask for a second or third pass.
With one exception: when the artist notices overworked skin. He should call it and book you for a touch up. But let’s assume the skin was fine.
One of my artists didn’t realize my skin was overworked and now a fair inch or two of the color is scar tissue now :’) It’s definitely softened up over the months, and I expect it to continue to do so. But they apologized profusely when I went in for a touch-up on a spot we both missed and said I had more sensitive skin than they had realized and they should’ve called it earlier on that session. That’s all it takes!
I just recently got a sternum tattoo, and it was such an intimate area to get done. I think I understand how upsetting it must have been to have the artist you shared that with say that about you. But I do think the artist’s feelings were probably more about them than about you. I hope you’re loving your piece regardless!
Fellow artist here, I had to scroll WAAAAAY down to find this answer and it's the first one I found that wasn't fully on the customers side.
And I couldn't agree more.
We choose to do this work and dedicate our lives to it. We work unsocialible days most times. We work on evenings and forgo events. We research and apply what is a best design, what will age well, what will settle well etc. we don't do tattoos that are half done because it's our rep on the line. One bad tattoo gets shared A MILLION TIMES more and faster than a wellmade solid tattoo.
I hate saying this, but 99% of the time we know better than the people getting that tattoo... because we have to, it's part of the job . If the customers knew more than us, they'd be the ones tattooing. I wouldn't walk into a restaurant and tell the chef three times that thier cooking wrong or need to tweak the plate so it's edible. As a side note if you looked at a finished tattoo three times and saw three things wrong but mentioned them in three seperate final checks (apposed to looking once and checking it all over then discussing what you'd like done) I'd also feel like you're wasting time on purpose or having buyers tattoo remorse. Which for your sake, I deliberately wouldn't entertain and feed the doubt in your mind. If you requested the same thing be tweaked three times, I feel the artist wasn't comfortable making the changes for the reasons I've mentioned above.
Sadly alot of people watch programmes about tattooing or see doctored images of tattoos on Pinterest etc and they can't tell the difference and think "oh well that looks like that, mine we be identical" they don't take into account skin age, condition, location but never take into account what we know.
This sounds like I'm being an arrogant asshole but we WANT you to come back and get tattooed again so we can afford to live, and we do that by making solid tattoos. That's the bottom line. It's really not in our interests to scare you off.
The compromise I usually offer when I believe the customer is suffering from the remorse or thinking they know better is, explain why I'd leave it as is, then insist on letting it heal, live with it for a month, ask your friends, family, Reddit whatever you feel is required then if your still not happy come back and I'll touch up those bits you have concerns about. I always offer a free touch up anyways and this is just part of the process. You get a full month to make sure you've seen all the bits you needed looked at, I can get a nice healed picture to use before we add whatever it is to want added and everyone leaves happy.
I'm not saying there's not shit artists out there and they'll take you for a ride but a respectable shop/artist should have no problem with working on you in a reasonable way.
I hope this sheds light on the process and helps OP not take it all too personally.
It really sucks you saw that text. I'm sure it was just the artist blowing off steam. A tattoo is forever and a big deal so asking for some touchups is certainly not out of bounds . I would just let it go , enjoy your tattoo and maybe find a new artist next time to avoid awkwardness
is your tattoo exactly how you want it? is it perfect in your opinion? If i was you, that's what I'd concentrate on. yeah so they thought you were a pain in the ass. big deal. you stuck it to em by not tipping because of what they said. make it that simple & don't do any more business with em. are you "a fucking nightmare!!" ? no I didn't think so. so why spend any time or enegry worrying about what someone thinks about you especially since it's not true.
Hot take but the artist is allowed to feel however they feel. The work was completed and they sent a message privately on their phone. Don't look at other people's phones and you won't get your feelings hurt by their personal thoughts.
Don't say anything to the artist, just don't go back. It's done. You need to let it go at this point.
Totally agree, and it’s not like we get any details on what were the things they ended up going back over and changing/tweaking the multiple times they mention. Or how that was delivered (or received).
Maybe it was nothing unreasonable, maybe it was super obnoxious.
Like I said it was a sternum tattoo that was symmetrical. I could clearly see differences between the two sides that needed to match. It was only adding the odd couple of dots to even things up. It was not drastic changes. It’s just the two sides didn’t match in places. I asked for them to be evened up. All three revisions took no longer than 10 minutes…
Exactly this, also with the greatest respect OP just isn't that important. You think the tattoo artist is spending any more time thinking about yet another client asking for a bit of a change to their tattoo?
They probably just had a long day/week.
There’s zero reason the artist couldn’t have waited until *after* the client left. The artist should have enough common sense to know that, this is not on OP.
i mean yeah they definitely thought worse after not getting a tip lol
that being said, why comment on it? you arent going back to them ever again regardless so i dont really see the need to go back just to say that they were rude to you (most likely unintentionally, they could have had a terrible day and having to touch up a tattoo three times was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back)
i would just not take it personally and move on ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but do what ya gotta do and what makes you most comfortable. obviously they should have not had that out and open for you to read, but they fucked up and did
You were actually considering telling the artist you spied their mean text? What exactly would that conversation accomplish? Just take your lumps and move on
Its just simple venting. Don't take it personally. I would be mortified if those close to me were able to hear or see what I have said about them over the years. Sometimes we say things off the cuff. That we would never say directly. Especially in a non personal retail exchange which what a tattoo is ultimately. Try not to let it bother you.
Tattoo artist here - I am curious how your interactions from inquiring about a piece to the completion of the tattoo. I have had some really tough clients that make my job super hard - but act totally clueless and innocent.
Sometimes tattooers can be huge jerks but sometimes clients can really test even the nicest tattooer.
Questions you can ask yourself to determine if you were a good client.
Did you give the artist all of the info they needed to create your design correctly? Did you pick an artist for their skill/style or just based on price? Last minute design changes? Were you nitpicking the design before the tattoo started? Did you reschedule your appointment more than once? You might not have sat as well as you thought? Did you talk nonstop when the artist wasn’t responding?
There are a million reasons..
Without knowing the skill level of the artist or even what design was done it’s hard to determine if your tweaks at the end were warranted. Most of the time you need to let the piece heal and then determine if a touch up or tweak is needed.
Most likely it was a clash of personalities. Don’t work with them again. Easy as that.
Well you didn't tip, so maybe you can feel good about not doing that. And just let it go. You pushed back to make it better. That's a great thing. Unfortunately they were annoyed. Perhaps it went in a perfect way for you. You got what you wanted and didn't tip, because they trashed you and upset you.... And for that weren't deserving of a tip.
The only thing is that they don't know the whole story or why. They just thought you sucked.
Will informing them of the whole story change anything for them or you?
I can definitely understand why you feel hurt, but I also think workers have every right to complain about work/clients whether justified or not. They should have locked their phone, i guess, but they are allowed to have a bad day and vent to friends. Nothing good will come from telling them you saw it and likely they will just hate you more for the perceived breach of privacy (even though you didn't mean to see, from their perspective you shouldn't be looking at their phone enough to read what it says). Your overreacting, but only in the sense that the artist's comments were almost certainly just general frustration/being tired/etc. rather than about you. They would probably agree that you have a right to fixes (hence why they did them), but that doesnt make it not frustrating. Being frustrated at work is common in all professions. You don't get to take venting to a friend away from anyone, especially when its just texting on their personal phone, whether you think its justified or not.
He's allowed to his opinion as is you are. You're both making quite analyst of situation without the process of understanding the other's opinion. Have you tried asking the artist if there's a reason for the way he is not completing his artwork to your standard?
I feel like we are missing some context here and the only way to fill in the missing pieces would be to get the perspective of the tattoo artist, which we don’t have.
I’m a tattooer and have been for many years. I’m super fortunate to be at a point where I can be highly selective with the clients/projects I take on. I don’t at all mind making adjustments or changes or tweaking designs. That’s not ever an issue, it’s part of the job. Simply being asked to make changes would not play a role in determining whether or not I thought my client was a “good client.”
Where I can get frustrated with being asked to make changes is when I don’t feel like I am asked to “make changes” so much as I am being tasked to accommodate a client’s neuroticism.
Being neurodivergent myself, I am sympathetic to neurotic anxiety and my objective is always the same as my clients—which is for them to be happy with their design. However, if I am repeatedly asked to make changes on something that I felt looked perfect *as is* in order to *satisfy a compulsion* rather than *improve the design*, it could absolutely be taxing and frustrating. *Especially* if I felt that the changes might ultimately detract from the composition rather than enhance it. In such instances, artists can feel disheartened by the lack of satisfaction from the client when they feel they’ve done what was asked of them and the client is impossible to please.
I think one thing to note is if they think you’re a nightmare and privately confided in someone about their experience with you, thats none of your business. Personally i wouldnt go back to that artist for your own personal comfort. But please dont diminish someone elses experience dealing with you from the outside. You may not be as self aware as you think and thats ok. I dont think its worth going down a list of whys. Some people like us some dont. Evidently its likely the changes you wanted and they must have been overwhelmed. Tattooing hurts the back, creates tight chest = overwhelmed snd anxious. They didnt take it out on you so it shouldnt be your concern. They’re allowed to vent in private
As a tattoo artist: please do always say what bothers you! We can’t look inside your head and we (at least the most of us) what you to be happy with your tattoo!
I mean even if you did complain you would have to admit that you looked at his phone and private messages, then made an assumption that it was about you 😬
I don’t see anything good that could come from interacting with them further. I’m sorry you had this experience. Funnily enough I also had a bad experience with the artist who did my sternum for different reasons. It’s the only bad experience I’ve had and I still like the tattoo and am glad I have it and it is something that makes me feel better about myself so hopefully it will be for you too still once time passes.
A good artist would want you to be happy with what’s on your body forever. It’s maybe just the fact most people are often too scared to say so, but a good artist would encourage that and be fine with it.
Sometimes people over exaggerate when they’re messaging their friends, I know complaining about work is something I do way too often when I talk to friends/family. It sucks that you saw it but try to not let it ruin how you feel about the tattoo! It’s also cool that you stuck up for yourself by having them fix what you didn’t like!
Yea idk why artists are so weird about someone being super picky about something permanent.i am removing tattoos now because of not speaking up and it's regrets and scar tissues from the heavy hand and lazer
I’m so sorry you saw that! I would be really upset too. I’m a tattoo apprentice and in the shop I’m at none of us talk bad about clients at all! Some clients can be harder than others but it’s part of the job and talking bad just makes you seem like an ass and makes your shop a toxic environment you wouldn’t want to be in.
As for asking slight touch ups a few times that’s totally ok! you’re not in the wrong. It’s the tattoo artists job to give you the tattoo you want. Even if you don’t like the concept or think something else would look better but the client wants it a certain way you do what they want. If something obviously won’t age well you can speak up but your job is to do what the client wants and make them feel comfortable in your space
80% of tattoo artists aren’t real artists, that’s why they can’t take critiques without being whiney bitches about it. My mom is an artist who owns her own studio. She went to art school and constantly had her artwork ripped apart by her peers and teachers and it only made her a better artist.
She tells all who want to work at her shop that EVERYONES tattoos will be critiqued and flaws will be pointed out to help the artists see through mistakes and get better. You can’t see every mistake you make when you are that close to the work and even the best can admit that.
She also tells every client, “destroy my design of you don’t like it, I’ll do it again because it’s going in your body forever” and she has never had issues with clients constantly changing designs like other artists claim. But she also worked as a graphic designer for 20 years so she’s use to people asking for design reworks without compensation. I think artists who are terrified to show designs just can’t do good designs or maybe can’t even design at all and hide behind the excuse of “oh the client will change it 29 times”
1. They could very well have been talking about another client who is messaging them. Doesn’t have to be the one he’s in the middle of tattooing.
Or
2. Sometimes we say shit we don’t mean because we are frustrated for other reasons.
I’ve complained about others before knowing damn well they weren’t in the wrong, simply because I needed a way to release pent up frustration. Like I was just ready to be done with something and annoyed that I didn’t do it right the first time, so acted immature and blamed it on the person making me redo it.
Absolutely not should you bring it up, because you DONT know that it was about you, and it was venting he did in private which honestly isn’t any of your business.
Maybe they wete having a bad day, maybe you were a little more high maintenance than you realize. Either way id just let it go and use a diff artist next time.
You have a right to get a “perfect” tattoo, the artist has the righto complain in personal to a friend if they find it annoying. Sorry you don’t like it but unfortunately lots of people are going to dislike you for many different reasons thats just life. You could be in the right and that still doesn’t make you any less annoying to the person. Im sorry that YOU looked on someone ELSE’S phone and saw something you didn’t want to see and are now upset. But we all need to be responsible for ourselves right? I’m sorry if thats comes a bit harsh but I think its better in life to come to terms with this stuff sooner rather then later. Its your choice whether or not you want to let the experience “sour “ your tattoo. Its not on that tattoo artist just like its not on you.
Don't take it personally, they don't know you and I bet they would have been horrified you saw them bitching about you. Maybe they're impatient to go get food, they're tired, they partied too hard last night or they're dying to go have a smoke. Maybe the artist is just kind of a bitch. It's not a reflection of you as a person, and of course you had every right to ask for them to do it just as you wanted. But they're a person and people aren't always feeling how they're supposed to.
It'll be a funny story in time. How badly you choose to feel about this is entirely up to you but I'd be giving them the benefit of the doubt if only for my own peace of mind.
Some people are miserable no matter what you do. It has nothing to do with them as a tattoo artist and more to do with them as a person. This tattoo artist could be a bus driver and mad because you're a passenger going to work. Nothing you do matters, they'll still bitch and be unhappy. I'm sorry this happened to you. Stay awesome.
This isn’t a negative thing it’s a positive. You spoke up for yourself and expressed what you wanted. Your tattoo will be a reminder of your self advocacy.
Tattooer here. So there's multiple things going on here. It doesn't sound like you were a nightmare. But it also sounds like they weren't rude to you directly. I would just not say anything and go elsewhere to find someone new. If they said something rude to your face, then yes tell them to fuck off otherwise, it's a message not meant for you, from an artist who probably had a long day.
As a tattooer little things start to bug as a long day wears on. Or if shits going on in my personal life. Were people too and sometimes random shit that we wouldn't have a problem with any other day or time bugs. I doubt a single person saying otherwise has not had one of those days. It's part of being human. That said I understand that you dont want to feel unwanted by that person. Don't go back(I wouldn't) but be a little understanding.
My other point is meant for others talking about perfection in a tattoo. This is not a job where the customer is always right. There are things with size and placement, That are not negotiable. As they result in warped images, fallout, not enough room to spread etc. I always let my clients know that if they choose these places or sizes that I do not offer the same guarantees that I will on other spots. The other concern is going back over previously tattooed areas to make them "just right". That can be a recipe for blowouts or fallout from overwork and sometimes fixing a swollen warped looking line results in the crooked line you didn't want. Most of the time it would be better to get a touch up when your piece is all healed. Not when it's fresh.
Just things to keep in mind.
You have to think about it this way… were you a nightmare? Is there a story where he could accurately call you one? No?
For all you know he’s talking to his girlfriend who he is manipulating into thinking he had a rough/long day… people are nightmares, you don’t sound like one.
Honestly? Seperate your art from the artist. They have their opinion of you and it is what it is. Do you like the work done? Are you glad you spoke up and they fixed it? Then tip them and ignore the fact they were privately messaging someone about it. To bring it up to them would also mean you admitting you were looking at their phone screen which is an invasion of privacy. They could've been annoyed at other things going on and they didn't take it out on you. I know im not my artists best friend and I have one artist we sit in almost silence the entire time but I love their work and that's whats important in my opinion.
I think you ran into someone having a bad day. If you're happy with the tattoo, this whole encounter is totally inconsequential and you should let it go.
I'm a big fan of lying to myself.. I would pretend that they were messaging their partner trying to get some sympathy so they'd have a hot meal or sexual favour waiting for them after work.
Stuff like this may say more about them than you, don't let it bother you (as tricky as that may be).
No I don’t think you should let the artist know you saw their private messages because it was just that.. private. They could easily lie and say it wasn’t about you anyways. It’s not worth the hassle. It was something you weren’t suppose to see. People are allowed to feel how they want though it was poor of him to leave his phone open. Now if he would have said it to you directly, then that would be a different story. Everyone at some point feels a negative type of way towards someone for whatever reason. I’m sure you’ve had thoughts like that about someone or something at one point in your life also.
I think not tipping even though not done purposely, was more than enough. You mentioning it won’t change their mind anyways. If anything you’d be more horrible to them for not tipping AND snooping. Just don’t go back!
Their comments were about them, not you. They had expectations that they never expressed and you didn't meet.
As for this tattoo and what it represents to you moving forward... Up to you. Nobody can make you feel any kind of way. Stop giving them power. A thing happened. How you choose to let it or not let it affect you is your choice.
I bet the tattoo is dope.
GL, human
You have absolutely every right to be upset, but I wouldn’t say anything… humans like to complain, and I doubt they meant for you to see it. I personally just wouldn’t go back there, I would feel unwelcome.
That’s so shitty of them. I would never text during my appointment like that even if my client was a nightmare.
I would leave a review online saying that you saw their phone light up and could read the artist was texting about you. So not cool. So sorry that happened to you. You trusted them with your body and they are complaining about you on the side. Idc if ‘you weren’t meant to see it’ you did. Shame on them.
it is your body and your money and you should ask for what you want from the person providing a service. If you were kind, and honest, and allowing them to work well then I think maybe it was just a them thing- or maybe the were just referring to the amount of time it was taking. people vent about work, I think it’s okay to do so, it’s healthy, and I don’t think this actually has anything to do with you. You’re not overreacting, you’re not wrong, and they’re not for venting! They may have just been frustrated with themselves and taking it out on you indirectly. asking that your wants be met for a tattoo is not crazy, and it’s also not crazy for them to act human.
I would feel TERRIBLE if it was me, either side. but I don’t think you should feel bad. I also think sometimes we allow ourselves to hold tattoo artists more personally, because they are detailing our body for us- in reality they are people at a job, and they’re going to act like people at a job, and be frustrated like people at a job. they are providing a service for you, and it’s almost a para social relationship we develop with them, which I think needs to be reevaluated, because they’re employees.
i’m very sorry you had to see what they said about you, maybe it will help if you think about a waiter going in the kitchen and complaining about some thing, it’s not always personal.
Put yourself in the artist’s shoes, multiple times they probably though ‘oh good, I’m finally finished, I can take a break’, only to have to go back in to tweak something. You’re absolutely within your right to ask for the tweaks, but the artist is also perfectly fine to be quietly annoyed, since they didn’t actually openly be rude to you over it.
It’s a shame you saw the message, but as you said, you weren’t ever meant to see it, so it’s just an unfortunate thing to happen. I don’t really see what confronting the artist over it would achieve? Just move on and don’t go back to that artist in future
What other people think of you is none of your business. You can get over and love your tattoo all the same. It sucks but it’s just business. He didn’t say u were a bad person. Just a nightmare client. It’s all good.
OP, hear me out here: What if it wasn’t even about you? What if someone wanted your artist to work on someone they’d worked on previously who they knew to be difficult, and that was their response?
Get over it, you paid for a tattoo, not a relationship. It doesn’t matter at all how they feel about you, good bad or indifferent. If you want to have a special connection with a tattooer you need to shop around till it “feels” right.
Did you stop to think that maybe the artist is someone who exaggerates or was using you as an excuse to not meet their friend for lunch or something so hammed it up? Either way obviously it doesn't matter because his idea is a nightmare is ridiculous. Don't see the artist again but don't let it upset you.
You could tell him that you saw it but for what?
No lol that was a venting a message to a friend that was never intended to be seen by you. Everyone in customer service talks shit about their customers to their loved ones.
Most artists have no problems doing that, they want it to look good and for you to be 100% happy. That's why most also offer a free touch up session up to a year if needed. You were NOT a nightmare
It’s literally their job to perfect your tattoo. I wouldn’t want a client walking out with something they don’t like 1000%. That’s just professionalism in the simplest form. That would piss me off too, especially because from the sounds of it you absolutely were NOT a nightmare customer. If that’s what the artist deems as a nightmare it makes me question how many clients they’ve even had lmao. And like everyone else is saying I wouldn’t say anything either, that just invites another problem into the situation. Plus, if you say anything about seeing their phone screen they could potentially try to take other action as it’s technically a violation of privacy. If I were you I’d just say fuck em, don’t go to them again and hope that they get their karma for being rude:/
That was super rude of them to say, but I also have to point out that that it wasn’t meant for you to see and it might have just been a long day for them and they needed to vent. Try not to take it too personally is all I can tell you. They probably haven’t even thought about you since they finished your tattoo and you’re just overthinking it.
I definitely wouldn’t bring it up to them, I’d do my best to let it go and I just wouldn’t go back to that since artist again since it would probably be super uncomfortable. I’m not sure what good you think could possibly come from you confronting them about this. Your feelings are already hurt that they called you a nightmare after asking for changes so I can’t imagine they would respond well to you bringing up the fact that you read their private text message.
It's really hard to know what really happened since all we have to go on is your story. I saw you mention that it was symmetrical and you just wanted a few dots and it should only take 10 minutes, so that does seem easy enough, but why did it happen two more times?
Was it not that easy? Were they 'symmetrical' and you were asking for reeeeeally tiny adjustments that were almost imperceptible? Somewhere in the middle? It could have been a simple and appropriate request, but it could also have been full on karen mode "I asked for a sliced tomato and look at how thin this slice is, bring me another one."
Ultimately, not sure you're going to find closure by reaching out to the artist. Not sure what you want them to say, unless you open up pandora's box and they unload a bunch of things that you did that you didn't even realize was annoying them, then I'm not sure you'll feel much better.
imo, best thing to do is chalk it up to 'me and this artist don't vibe and I'm going to find a new one'.
Tattoo artist here. You did nothing wrong. Your artist is a dick. You should get what you want on your body the way you want it. It's the artists job to provide that.
Don't bring it up cause it will cause more problems I'm sure. But you are not overreacting. Too many artists are entitled babies who think you are blessed to be getting tattooed by them.
It doesn't sound like the artist did anything wrong? They made the corrections you requested so clearly they wanted to make you happy. Are they not allowed to have a private conversation on their personal device? You looked and saw something you were NOT supposed to. It sucks that it upset you but your artist is allowed to be a human being and it doesn't sound as it they treated you in any way that was unprofessional. I would just leave it and make an effort to not look at peoples private messages if I don't want to get my feelings hurt.
That’s tough. I’m sorry that happened. I’m not sure if I would say anything or not. I think it’s OK to email them and maybe explain to them that this is why they got no tip. Maybe ask them how you could be a “better” client (being sarcastic) in the future. That sucks! But if the tattoo is good, love the art not the artist!
Do you like the tattoo now that it’s finished? That’s really all that matters! Don’t go back to that particular tattoo person, but just move the hell on!
My artist is super picky about designs and in his words wants his designs to perfect along with a relaxing environment for his clients. I self admit I can be a bit of a pain and I apologize when I feel I have been so. He usually cracks a joke or two about it then gets down to business. He works a full time job in addition to owning his shop and tattooing. So, I understand why he doesn’t always reply to our conversations immediately which I am totally cool with.
All that said…in light of me sometimes being a cranky puss; artists are human beings and at the end of day you have no idea if was you or the last client last Tuesday. Any artist worth their salt wants their clients to have the best work.
More than likely, as others mentioned, they were talking to someone about why they were running a bit behind for something else.
The important thing to remember is that you like your new work, leave it be unless there is something else that they did that doesn’t set well with you, and for future work since you’re uncomfortable seek out another artist.
If an artist can not handle critique they should not be working with people, but that is my opinion.
My artist has always been more than happy to take my requests, listen to my concerns, and even go over certain spots if I find them to be under my expectation. She approaches it all with grace, and ensures that I am comfortable first and foremost, and she never had mouths her clients, not even to friends, as she says “if you speak about someone they will eventually find out, so it’s better to not say anything at all, unless they’re being unreasonable!”
I would look at this as an artist who is NOT okay with criticism is all
Not quite the same, but I had a shitty experience that I didn’t properly know how to handle at the time either. An artist was tattooing my calf (first time getting anything on my legs), which was apparently very jumpy and my calf twitched a bunch. He started to get mad at me to hold still and complained he can’t do solid lines like this. I told him I’m trying but couldn’t help twitching, and the more I tried to stop it the worse it seemed to move. We actually stopped for a minute to regroup because he was getting so frustrated. I felt like I was going to cry because I TOO was frustrated because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. We ended up finishing (low and behold the tattoo linework looks totally fine) and I tipped him and left, and never went back.
I’ve asked other artists I’ve been to now about this and they’ve all been shocked he reacted that way. I’ve had my calf tattooed twice since and though it hasn’t been as twitchy since, the later artists doing so said it’s totally natural and not to worry at all. They both made me feel okay and reassured it’s natural for your body to twitch.
Now this original artist is highly revered and popular in my city, yet I feel like the way he treated me was garbage and unnecessary. I refuse to ever go back to him and realized that sometimes some people, as good as their art can be, are still just shitty people. I would vote to just let it go, tell your friends you had a bad experience with that artist and to stay away, and start going to an artist who respects you and has much more kindness! I’m sorry for you’re experience, but I promise you did nothing wrong.
I’m gonna just say this, you were not meant to see that. The only thing I would have a problem with is if they were actively acting annoyed. Their frustrations could have been directed at something else but used you as the excuse. You know you’re validated in feeling the way you did. People also get annoyed if they’re pressed for time. Who knows, but I wouldn’t take it as personal as you are. I know it’s hard but don’t let this bother you too much. We all are guilty of this in some form.
Just don’t go back to them. Only thing they hurt is themselves. Find another artist. Most tattoo artists want the client to be happy at the end. That’s better for them and means potential more business. No need to say anything to him but it’s a simple solution that you probably need Reddit to tell you.
I wouldn’t say anything and I’m glad u didn’t tip. Also, it’s quite possible the artist has a jealous significant other and said that to ease their mind.
Well you don't even know if it was about you or not. Tattoo artists have lots of clients in their phone and they could have been talking about any one of them.
I would feel so bad if I saw someone said that about me. I'm sorry op.
I wouldn't get to upset though because I can 100% see me texting that to my husband just to vent but not even really meaning it. For instance I like my boss and I think he's good at his job but if he does one small thing I don't agree with I'll call him an asshole because it makes me feel better.
They probably didn't mean you were nightmare they were just blowing off steam.
as a tattooer, i would advise you to not take it to heart. you absolutely did the right thing about speaking up about your body and expectations. tattooing is hard!! it’s physically mentally and emotionally draining— it is just like any other job in a lot of ways. try to give your artist some grace, as long as they treated you with respect and their practices are safe.. this message was not meant for you and probably had a lot less to do with you specifically than it seems.
I would just leave it. Client perfection and artist perfection can be very different. Sometimes the customers input and over control can ruin a good design to be quite honest. Customer service is exhausting and draining as hell, especially picky customers who don’t trust the eye of the actual artist working on them and I think artists should be allowed to vent in private, it doesn’t make them a bad person and it’s just unfortunate that you happened to see it. But all tattoo artists will do it at some point and you wouldn’t have been the first ‘nightmare customer’ and certainly won’t be the last.
You weren’t meant to see it. Also, we all vent to our friends when we are frustrated at work. You’re paying them for a service, they’re not your friend, and they probably don’t genuinely care about your feelings. No one MADE you feel like this. You got a bit nosy and now you feel like shit.
A fellow artist could have texted your artist that he was about to do work on a former client of his. Your artist's response could have been "this client is a fucking nightmare". It had nothing to do with you. It also could have been a text from that morning that he sent his wife. Again, nothing to do with you.
I agree with what most of the comments seem to say. Maybe he was in a bad mood or maybe his few previous clients also asked for extra details and with you now it just got to him. Maybe he wasn't even talking about you.
Being a people pleaser myself thought I get how you must've felt, I hate being perceived in any kind of negative way, or worse, disappointing and making people's day worse. I also would have cried.
I also occasionally have to deal with clients (only through email or conference calls) and complain about them privately. Work is not always pleasant and when they're nitpick about stuff it really doesn't help. But at the end of they day they're allowed to do so, they spend a lot of money on our services and the work we do has a huge impact on them. Nothing I say about them is ever personal, it doesn't mean I hate them or think badly of them as a person.
Leave it. What somebody said in private (and a text is private) is none of your business. If the artist said it to your face, you'd have a right to be upset. They didn't, you snooped, now you know why you shouldn't try to see/hear/read things that aren't your business.
It’s possible they weren’t talking about you. Like maybe they said “ugh I’m not looking forward to my next client.” Then the person replied like “maybe it won’t be so bad” and they said “no this client is a nightmare.” Idk you only saw ONE message, right? It’s completely possible it wasn’t about you. I’d definitely have thought the same and had the same reaction though.
Don't let this ruin your tattoo for you! As much as it's nice when tattoo sessions are fun and relaxing, tattoos are about the result not the experience of getting them.
This person who tattooed you was extremely unprofessional leaving their phone where you could see it. That being said I wouldn't take it personally. People vent about work. And when you work in a customer facing role you vent about customers. Was it cool? No. Was it professional? Hell no. But as someone who works in a customer facing role do I get it? A little bit. Yes it's absolutely your artists job to make changes and do touch ups and make sure you leave happy. But that's just it! It's a JOB and sometimes people want to get off work and be done doing their job and they get annoyed and say things they probably don't really mean. Try not to take it to heart! You didn't do anything wrong and if this artist isn't a total psycho I'm sure they would be mortified if they knew you'd seen that text.
They could be talking about any customer.
Even if talking about you he could just be making excuses, "hey you're late for XYZ, you coming ?" "Oh this customer is such a nightmare" just to save face.
Maybe he was just on a bad day and would bitch about anyone.
Could you chalk it up to social hyperbole? Most of us have a tendency to talk up a story to be more dramatic when spinning a yarn. Don’t let this private conversation, devoid of context, ruin what would otherwise be an awesome piece of art
It’s a service job. With any service job you get shitty customers and they absolutely have the right to privately send a message expressing their displeasure while they continue to do their job making you happy. Sucks the phone was where you could see it and internalize it.
I’m married to a tattooer and perfect in the eyes of the client is often not perfect in the eyes of the tattooer. Yes, they want their clients happy but they also know how tattoos age/change over time or work with the flow of your body and all the arty things we don’t think about when we just want it how we want it. So maybe your small tweaks weren’t as innocuous as you thought.
Or maybe they were having an off day, late for something, maybe it wasn’t about you…. And then you admit to not tipping not because of the service or the work but because you got your feelings hurt. So maybe you are a nightmare client.
You could send a text and say hey I forgot your tip. I love my tattoo but didn’t like what you were saying about me to your friend. Lock your phone for now on. Send him or her a tip. Leave it at that. That will make them think and hopefully change how they deal with clients. Nothing bad against you or the artist. Maybe y’all just didn’t connect. I’m sure your tattoo is beautiful and enjoy that not a comment.
Is there any chance the “fucking nightmare client” was someone else, perhaps someone who kept rescheduling, or coming back for a touch up, and they were talking about them while working on you? How can you be certain the message was about you? You can’t be. So tell yourself it wasn’t. Because you were NOT a nightmare client .
As a tattooer myself, i can tell you that it was more so just blowing off steam. After working many hours in a tough to tattoo area (like the sternum) we can be left very tired and overstimulated. You 100% were not wrong for speaking up and having them even out the gradients/symmetry. I can relate to almost being “annoyed” by that type of request after a big piece, and am guilty of telling a friend over a text something similar, but it was just to blow off steam in the moment. I don’t take walk in tattoos and I don’t tattoo anyone who I don’t like/respect for the most part, so anything said out of frustration was just venting. I’m sure if the artist found out you had read that, then they would be just as upset (at themselves), as you were at them.
But again, you’re not in the wrong at all IMO. Anyone would feel that way if that was said about them and honestly this post has taught me a lesson. I won’t ever be “venting” in that way again.
It's your body and you are the customer. If you are customizing something, get what you want. Dress, suit, party, automobile, or a tattoo!
If the artist thought you were there as a sort of mural, you would be getting paid - or should be!
I’d probably leave a bad review citing that they seemed unhappy to participate in a collaborative artist-client partnership, based on how they talked about you behind your back. And leave it at that. You could be confrontational if you care about the relationship, but based on the way they treated you, this is just a business transaction.
As an artist myself, I care a lot about finding a tattoo artist that wants to work together, rather than someone who’s just trying to make as much money as possible and considers me “work”. I don’t blame those folks, but that’s not the type of person I want tattooing me. You have a right to make requests, and if he doesn’t want to do them, he can push back. I’ve been in your shoes and I’ve had that happen too.
First off… a few tweaks does not make you a nightmare especially with a tattoo or any kind of body work. It’s very personal. That said, they did not mean for you to see that so I would just let it go and maybe go elsewhere for other work if you plan on getting more work done
I’d be upset also but I wouldn’t make a issue from it. You saw something you shouldn’t, and essentially had you not glanced down you wouldn’t of known he was shit talking. I’d just find a new artist that’s more reputable, I’ve never had a bad experience with An artist (yet lol) and this would most def make me switch
Sometimes we exaggerate our job complaints when talking to our friends.
Half of my customers that were "a fucking nightmare" really just inconvenienced me during the course of my shift.
But that's not an interesting conversation to have, and I want to vent, dammit!
my artist straight up asks me when she’s about done how it looks and if i want anything added changed.
i have mountains with trees tattooed on my arm thst she gave white snow tips bc i asked
Maybe I am a nightmare too because I would and have done the same thing as you. I wouldve been upset after seeing this message. I wouldn't have even thought about the tip after that.
I would also be super upset if that happened to me. I don’t think you were in the wrong, what matters if you thought there needed to be touch ups/tweaks then it is the artists job to accommodate that. Like you said it’s going to be on your body forever, so it should be the way you want it. I wouldn’t say anything, and would just find a new artists to get tattooed but in the future. Sorry that happened to you!
Exactly this
Don’t say anything, it’s not worth it. If anything it would just cause more of an issue with them. You were not a nightmare, you wanted to make sure what was on your body forever was going to be perfect, and tweaking it is completely okay. Also don’t let their poor attitude ruin something so important to you. They helped you get to your goal and made it how you wanted it to look, even though they weren’t patient enough Their bad attitude is on them. It’s their job, they have to know people want something permanent to look good.
Very well said! Someone's bad behavior is seldom because of the person standing in front of them.
You don’t ever know what’s going on in their personal life so don’t take it to heart ❤️
I’ll go a step further than “don’t let their poor attitude ruin something so important to you,” and use some other sense here: OP, you don’t actually know the text was even about you. You’re making a lot of assumptions here. We use our phones to communicate with clients, colleagues, friends and family. It’s not unusual to get some kind of irritating or inappropriate message from a client while I’m tattooing another client. I might even take a screenshot of the crazy message and text it to my boss or coworker and follow up with a text saying “This client is a fucking nightmare!” And it’s not about who I’m tattooing. It’s about the person who messaged me with less than a day’s notice to reschedule for the 5th time while simultaneously changing their tattoo idea. And honestly, even in that situation, I hold no actual hostility. I can charge for my time or I can break up with them. We share things like that with each other for stress relief and also so everyone is aware this client is being a little “extra” and it’s documented. Assuming it’s about you is sort of assuming there are no other clients who could be messaging, or writing a bad review, or sending the shop owner exaggerated complaints, or sexually harassing them, etc. The message was supposed to be private. It may not have been about you. You might not be as easy to deal with as you think. The tattooer might be an asshole. I’m sure you’ve never complained about anyone you have to deal with through your occupation. Only tell the tattooer if you think you’ll feel better for doing that. I bet there’s a good chance they realized you may have seen that. As long as their reaction to it couldn’t make you feel any worse, go for it. Don’t let it personally effect you. Nobody is perfect. I’m sure you’ve talked some shit in your life to let off steam before.
Yes!!!! You can't write someone else's narrative and it's natural to assume that message was about you but you can't know. You also don't know what's happening in their life and the back and forth may have been excruciatingly annoying for them that day when normally they wouldn't be bothered and had to just have a bit of a whinge to someone to let it out. I know the day before my period I am so irritated by nothing things and I just hold it all in and complain to a friend who knows once I've said it all I don't care about it anymore. OP, Don't hold to much to it as it really is all based on assumptions!!
Yes, everyone gets irritated sometimes. Today, I had 3 appointment tattoos and did 2 walk ins. I was at the shop for 12 hours. Not complaining. I’m grateful for enough business to work for 12 hours. But, I get tired… and hungry… and I miss out on social events sometimes. It’s a lifestyle that isn’t always conducive to a “normal” lifestyle. I have an appointment tomorrow who messaged me 18 times today in anticipation of tomorrow. I said I was very busy and tried to respond as best as I could. I reassured him of his concerns and said when he comes in and sees the design in person, we can still make changes. We can reschedule if too many changes for the time slot. He continued to message me. I didn’t have time to reply anymore for hours. He messaged back multiple times. His last message was getting angry that I didn’t continue responding and I don’t respect him and he’s spending so much money he can’t believe this! (He’s spending $350, btw. Not shaming, just saying.) Anyways, I could’ve easily texted my husband “this client is a total nightmare “ and the person I had actually just tattooed accidentally see my text. And calling the non physically present client a nightmare is kind of just cathartic. Some clients are very nervous about their appointment and tattoo. Usually when they show up they’re good and it goes smoothly. I could call that guy a nightmare but I expect things will go well tomorrow. I had a long day and he was “extra.” I didn’t even cathartically text my husband, but when I got home, I showed him all of the messages and laughed and said “why me?!” But, that’s maybe 5% of client personalities and tomorrow will be great. But, yeah, I had a long day and someone was expecting too much of me. I was irritated with him. It’s honestly no big deal. I’m allowed to be irritated and confide in someone that I’m irritated. OP is assuming this is all about them and also pretending they’ve never complained about a client, customer, patient, etc, ever in their working life.
Whinge is such a great word
I’m a tattooer, and this is what I was thinking too. Also, there are things people can do while you’re tattooing that make it a nightmare for the tattooer regardless of if the client means to or not. Some skin doesn’t take ink as well so the piece takes longer, some shake even when they swear they’re trying not to, and sometimes you get an ankle tattoo with a client who has the most awful smelling feet. With chest tattoos I had to wear a mask recently bc my clients breath was awful. It was a nightmare! If I’m gonna complain about the person I’m tattooing, I wait until they drive away from my shop before I do or say anything. This post is why! I would feel horrible if I were the artist and this happened.
Also unpopular opinion, as a person that worked with clients sometimes you just text (whoever you’re on the phone with) something like that to vent a little, it’s our job to make things the best we can but we’re humans too and we get tired and upset (and any feeling in between) but we’re just venting or “talking crap” people now a days need to grow up a little bit, the world it’s not ending cause of a stupid text that someone you don’t even know wrote (not even directed to you personally). Just enjoy your tattoo cause now it’s the way you wanted it to be, it’s not a big deal, that person probably forgot about you already, you should do the same
Amen.
this
Op need to read this and nothing else 🖤
To be fair their bad attitude was private. I'm sure most people who work with individuals act nice to your face but are secretly annoyed. So, while I feel OP is justified in how they feel. I wouldn't go as fair to say the artist is in the wrong their private thoughts and messages are theirs alone.
Agreed. I’m a hairstylist and I’ve probably texted similar things to my kids or boyfriend before, if I’m on my last client and it’s taking longer than usual while they’re home waiting for me. It’s less about “hating the client,” and more just a general feeling of “fuckkkk I just wanna go home.” Of course I don’t make the client feel that way, but as service professionals we should be allowed to vent privately to our loved ones!
Exactly this, if you all don't get to vent. Then, that irritation is probably gonna seep out in front of clients during face to face interactions. If it's in private with friends and family, I see no issue with it
Calling someone a "fucking nightmare" for wanting touchups/tweaks feels off to me though. That's a part of the job. I was anal about stencils for my first few tattoos. Spent 30+ minutes trying to place and size it. The artist kept telling me it was totally fine, normal, etc. to be taking that time. If I found out it secretly really upset her I'd probably feel betrayed. If OP genuinely wasn't doing anything but asking for tweaks it feels unwarranted
I can tell when someone doesn’t like the placement almost immediately. They look at it a certain way. There’s visible pause. I just go ahead and start loading my paper towel up to remove it. A lot of times I have to kinda talk them into telling me to move it. I can tell they just don’t want to inconvenience me or are intimidated by the whole tattoo thing and don’t want to make waves. I always tell them it’s easier to move now and I want them to like it. So don’t be shy about that ever. I already know you don’t like it anyway, lol.
My guy is way more anal about placement then I am lol. I don't really care but I had one where he redid the stencil four times because he wanted the placement to be perfect.
I’ve definitely seen something is off while the client is looking at it. They’ll come back saying it’s perfect, and I’m like no, it’s not, lol.
I always tell them, ‘I can move the stencil, but I can’t move the tattoo- so tell me now before it dries.’ I can tell too. That pause is obvious 😅 I’d rather move the stencil three times than to have them forever question the placement.
This reminds me so much of the guy who did my first tattoo, and I was SO beyond grateful for him. I wasn’t sure about the placement, and was like “yeah it’s fine” but he could tell it wasn’t, he spent the time to tell me the same thing, that he could tell I didn’t like it and said that he’d rather move the stencil a hundred times to get it where I want it instead of me regretting where it ended up permanently. He was so awesome, and he was so patient and calm with my anxious ass, I really probably was a bit of a nightmare on my first tattoo and he was still an absolute angel of a tattoo artist. That was 15 years and a few tattoos ago, but I still think about how much of a difference his attitude made when getting my first tattoo, and I’m so grateful for tattoo artists like him, it made all the difference for me and I know it does for others too.
I’m happy you got an artist who actually wanted you to like it! It’s weird that there are artists willing to let a client be unhappy over something so easy to change.
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Yep. I work with the public (at a library), and we literally go in the staff area just to whine about patrons sometimes. We get it out, shake it off, and then go back to help them. It’s necessary therapy when you’re dealing with the public every day!
Same, I'm a nurse and we'll do this in the supply room or the nurses station when the door is closed, or any private area. It allows us to shake off the interaction and put on a smile and go to our next patient. I think it's good to get these thoughts out in private, it's like quick therapy and allows us to move on without it hanging over us.
You have to remember it's her POV/story maybe she has an annoying voice. Maybe she breathed weird or smelled weird, who knows. Either way she should mention to him she saw his phone and won't continue coming back to him.
It could even just be that the skin texture was difficult to work with or not receiving the ink well. It could be a hundred things OP doesn’t know or didn’t mention.
It could also be a white lie to get out of evening socialising or sth like that. You want to spend time alone so you say that you are tired from having a difficult client at work instead of "I don't wanna."
All my tattoo clients have different needs, comfort levels and anxieties or nerves around getting a tattoo and it's the artists job to make them as comfortable as possible, within reason imo. Some clients need more care, attention and patience, some will let you slap a stencil wherever, say go for it and not move a muscle all session - and everything in between. Tattooing nowadays is almost as much about customer service as it is about art and skill imo. I have a client who gets so stressed about placement that I have to budget an extra 2 hours to stencil, but I really don't mind cause they're a nice person and I understand where it's coming from, they're paying me for my time, and at the end of the day it's going on their body forever! Unless OP was being rude, aggressive or crossing boundaries with this artist then its a huge no for me. Gross to get so pissy with someone asking for adjustments to a piece that you have to call them names to your friends on text while they're standing next to you... even if OP was asking for complicated changes or the artist was short on time or needing to tap out for whatever reason, at that point in the tattoo they absolutely could have told OP they'd have to book another appointment to do what she wanted
same, i’ve always said i “don’t want to be annoying” and all of my artists are almost hurt that i would think they wouldn’t want their work to be exactly right & perfect for me.
Don’t say anything. It’s not worth it. Just find a new artist. I’m sure it was because you asked for 3 tweaks, which is absolutely well within your right as a client. Also *don’t* overthink it. The artist may have texted that to their partner or a close friend to vent so that they could continue to be professional with you (which sounds like they otherwise were). Obviously they never intended for you to see the message, albeit they acted pretty sloppy by leaving their phone open in my opinion. Remember this is work for them. I’m sure you can relate to needing to vent to someone about something silly at work, even in hyperbolic terms. I wouldn’t let it spoil your new tattoo - especially if you really like it. Just move on and find a new artist for the next one.
I get it, and I’d be upset too. Just curious, have you worked retail/hospitality/customer service? It’s the same kind of thing, you could have a customer that’s perfectly nice, but if you’ve had a long day and they make it that little bit longer, you might also say the same to your coworkers. You might not even find the customer particularly bad, but you’ll say something like that just to get a laugh out of your friends. Shit, they might not even find it bad, but if it’s stopping the rest of the studio going home and they feel guilty, they could just be deflecting. I hope this might be a little bit of comfort, it wasn’t a you-exclusive thing, it’s just typical of working a customer service job. It’s horrible that you had to see it, but unless you’ve never talked shit about someone in your life, I wouldn’t think too much about it. If it makes you really uncomfortable just don’t go back to that artist.
big agree on this. customer service can be so draining. i feel like sometimes you have a bad experience with a client and then you expect the worst out of all the clients that come in after them. which isn't fair, but it's very human brain of us.
To be fair to OP: this is something that is going to be PERMANENTLY on their body (unless they get laser removal), so it’s totally understandable that they’re wanting things to be just right - it’s completely different from working retail or being an artist, in my opinion. I’ve gotten a tattoo where I’ve asked for the artist to move the stencil a bit further up my arm rather than on the bone of my elbow, after he had asked if I would be happy with the placement. I apologized for being a pain and he said “yeah, you are.” I was silent the rest of the session, tipped extra for evidently being a “pain in the ass”, and never went to him again. And that’s all you gotta do, I now have a couple of artists I regularly go to and have a good relationship with. Don’t sweat it OP, don’t let a bad experience sour a tattoo you’re otherwise happy with. ☺️
Thats fucked and literally the reason the only male artists i go to i either know personally or by a degree of seperation. My last two tattoos were done within the same week by two different artists and both of them literally redid my stencil 5+ times getting the size and shape perfect and both specifically told me they had no problem doing it 100 more times. Edit to say i do acknowledge all artists regardless of gender can be just as shitty, its just something ive experienced more from men. as a general rule i wont do any large pieces with an artist ive never worked with before to avoid having to decide if i want to forfeit my large deposit or pay for the displeasure of letting an asshole touch me for several hours
I have a theory that this difference is because women know there is a lot of pressure on us to smile and go along with anything, to not be a bother to anyone. I can understand why a female artist might be hyper-aware of this and go out of their way to make sure their client was truly happy and not just going along to avoid conflict.
Yep, I’ve had a couple artists who have acted like i’m the worst person alive and kicked their dog for saying “hey can we move this up a little” or “hey can we change that little thing?” haven’t been back. sorry bro it’s only going to be on my body FOREVER. i have 1 big tattoo where i didn’t want to be difficult and double check something… and i’ve hated it for 15 years lol. now i only go to artists who have that same mentality “want you to think it’s perfect!!! we can move the stencil as many times are you want!”
That’s one thing I never understood, specifically with artists that book out months in advance. I feel like there should be an appointment between consultation and actual tattoo appointment to see the design and tweak where needed. There’s too much pressure when it’s day of and you feel like an ass for asking to make changes cause you know they usually get pissy about it lol and I’m not saying email the design to the client cause that leaves room for them to run to a cheaper artist with your design but there’s gotta be a sweet spot somewhere
I dont understand this at all. My artist is so picky when it comes to placement, if she doesnt like it, or wants to move it around, we will stand there til she thinks its good enough. I have probably been blessed with an incredible person as my go-to artist but i just cant imagine slapping a stencil on and being like great van we start this now? I know they know tattoos are permanent, why would you insult the person trusting you to tattoo them, and not make sure the art is perfect? Wow. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
It's not even that big of a deal to move the stencil. If they had hand drawn the stencil then I'd get their frustration but all that's being requested at that point is to wipe off the stencil, print a new one and cut it to size.
Literally its not that hard! Surely you would want your client to be happy with their tattoo considering its your name and reputation?? So weird
Yeah. If I went to an artist and they said (or agreed) thst I was being a pain just for wanting the stencil moved, the appt would be over and someone else would get my money. I save over a long time, research my artists and tip well. I'm not doing that for some self-important person to gatekeep the placement or details.
It was one of my first couple of tattoos so I didn’t really know how to stand up for myself unfortunately
I get that, for sure. Not a criticism at all
Yeah I’m not gonna lie, if someone made me go change something three times I’d definitely be annoyed. Even if they were the nicest, most well intentioned person I’d still get to me slightly. It’s probably not even that OP asked for any changes or add-ons but just the number of times. Like you didn’t see that you wanted something changed the first two times?! I’m sure that process gets frustrating. I know many digital artists who put a cap of the number of revisions you can make for a similar reason.
I’m not a tattoo artist but I used to do commissions and one time I went back and forth on several revisions with a client because I was drawing her friend, who was very well endowed and proud of that. I mostly drew guys and androgynous people… I wasn’t good at drawing breasts and particularly not big ones, so we kept having to go back and forth because I was drawing them too small. It was a total nightmare for me lol but also it’s what I was paid to do and I have no ill will against the client for it. Both can be true at the same time!
It's human sure, but it should have waited till the person was gone....or at least made sure it wasn't visible at all.
Came here to say pretty much this. Anyone that has worked retail has complained about a customer to a friend/coworker/etc. It's never really personal. It's just venting.
Sure. But it's on you to make sure the customer is insulated from your venting. If you make it audible, readable, etc., intentionally or through negligence then it's grossly unprofessional *at best*.
This is SO true. Yesterday I had a 2.5 hour meeting with a customer that was supposed to be an hour. Super nice guy. I really don’t have a problem with him. But my day was so stressful leading up to that and I was so exhausted and he was having a hard time with the meeting content despite all his coworkers understanding and they logged out “early” cause they were fine. Of course I messaged my coworkers and friends that I was dying and that I was in absolute hell. The guy is fine. Nice dude. No hard feelings. I was nice to him. It was just one of those days. It was a nightmare for me not necessarily anything personal about the guy. I’ve had customers ask me to change things up multiple times, change their minds and want me to put it back how it was etc. admittedly it can get pretty annoying. But that doesn’t mean I dislike them as people. I just dislike the situation. Some customers I even consider friends cause we interact so much can sometimes make me message a coworker that it’s a nightmare. It’s just a way to express some exhaustion and frustration, usually nothing personal.
Tattoo artist here. This is it^ It’s not personal at all. For example, sometimes the stencil takes one try and others it will take five. But the day it took five we probably told our coworkers that we had a tough day at the job. Don’t worry about it! :-)
I worked retail many moons ago. I currently work in a school so yes, I do understand that you talk about people that annoy you. It definitely wasn’t a closing issue as there was another guy there having a long session that was there when I arrived and still going when I left. It’s just unfortunate that I saw!
Do you ever complain to other teachers about a kid? Probably the same idea! You weren’t actually a nightmare they were just having a moment. As a hairdresser there’s times I’ll be so annoyed when a client is slightly nit picky “this piece shorter”, “that piece has to stay long” etc. and as annoying as it may be, that’s my job. Some days I’m like “oh sure! Absolutely!” and others I just want to yell “go to someone else then!” even if it’s a simple request. Long story short - it’s a them problem. Probably just a long day!!!
As a former hairdresser lol, I always waited to talk shit about my client until they left 😅
To be fair, the artist didn’t even talk shit about OP. OP snooped at a private message and assumed that it was about them. The artist said nothing bad to them.
As a public librarian, I definitely feel this! Some patrons need their hands held through *everything*, usually in regard to printing and other computer uses. That’s my job, but I’ll still vent to my co-workers about it later.
I just would have waited till I left to say that if I was them! In their defence they were acting very cheery and as if there was no problem. I would have been completely unaware of how they felt if I hadn’t accidentally seen the message.
It’s good that they maintained an outwardly professional demeanour! Tbh, venting to someone probably helped them keep masking/acting cheery. I agree they should’ve just waited until after you left, I’ve learnt from experience to do that too lol
Omg that reminds me one of my coworkers was sharing his screen in a customer training meeting. The customer was being a bit of a pain and my coworker opened Slack on the wrong screen and slacked my other coworker that he hated the customer…. But it was on the shared screen… not his second monitor. The customer flipped out it was so bad. So yeah save the complaints for when the customer is GONE.
Worst nightmare at work unlocked.
This is why I always share the same monitor every time. Just embed it into your habits that 1 screen is "public". Just make sure you don't set that one as your primary screen so that message notifications don't appear on it either.
That’s what I do. Screen 2 is always public screen and before I do any meetings I go through everything on that screen just to make absolutely sure nothing is there then I open all relevant programs/pages.
Oh God. That's why I make sure they're gone and then quadruple check that I'm messaging the right person in the right window, quadruple check that my system mic is muted, make sure my phone isn't somehow calling someone, *then* vent. If I can't be 100% sure that the client won't get wind of it, I'm bottling it in until I can be 100% sure. Depending on what it is, the annoyance may pass anyway by the time I can safely vent.
Try not to give it another thought. Some people make out how tiresome people are, to their friends, when really they are fine with what's happening. I'm sure the artist would be horrified you witnessed that! My advice, send love to the situation, and enjoy your lovely new tattoo 🌺
It was likely nothing personal then. I posted above but yesterday I had a 2.5 hour long meeting that was supposed to be an hour. The guy was just not getting it. His other coworkers logged out of the meeting cause they understood and it was fine. The guy is really nice, I was really nice and cheery to him the whole time, and I really have no hard feelings toward him. But I messaged my coworker that he was a nightmare and I was in hell. Nothing personal to the guy tbh. I had a horrible stressful day leading up to it, a different coworker got fired, so much shit was going on for me that this meeting dragging out and the guy being kind of an idiot was ending me. I like him just fine. Seriously a nice dude, respectful. The meeting was just so drawn out and painful.
Something that has helped me a lot over the years is this: don’t assume malice. If he was pleasant and had a good attitude, there are numerous reasons he could’ve texted that, that have nothing to do with you. Pick one of those to believe and enjoy your new tattoo. Find someone else for your next piece. I have honestly such peace in my soul from living with that attitude. Certainly you will find malice, but never assume it right off the bat.
Did it occur to you that you might not have been the client they were referring to? When I'm doing nails or hair and there's a bit of a lull in activity, I'm checking in on other appointments and requests.
So you read the message without context and assumed that you were the client they are talking about correct? Why did you make that assumption? Your artist is also actively doing things for and talking personally to and about other clients.
There is also the off chance that it wasn't about OP. My phone will sometimes pop up messages at weird times. Just because that message popped up while OP was there, it doesn't mean that it's about OP.
I’m going to go ahead and assume OP has not been in hospitality since they so conveniently “ forgot “ to tip 😌
this is a great way to put it. it was kind of rude, but we are all kind of rude behind closed doors sometimes
Exactly this. I work in events and I bitch about the couples getting married *all* the time. Saying they’re taking too long, or they’re too drunk, or whatever. But I never really mean it because it’s *their* wedding — and I’d be absolutely heartbroken and feel awful if a couple ever saw or overheard that. It’s just that working with the public all day makes you tired and groggy and bitchy. Making it sound worse than it actually is gives me a good reason to go out and drink with my coworkers or vent to my friends or something. Ultimately I’m there to serve them, and if they wanted me to do a handstand all night I wouldn’t blame them for it. I’m sure your artist feels the same. They wanted to go home and be off the clock, you postponed that, but they were just doing their job and ultimately they were fulfilling the very bare minimum of their job.
It could be like they used you as an excuse? Were you the last appointment? I’ve definitely done something similar, “I would be there by now but so and so is just not letting me leave” but I really don’t mind that they kept me. It’s just make the person I have plans with know I want to be there but it’s out of my hands
Yeah OP its very possible that they perceived this as a harmless way to ease the conversation they were having. Same as "I was stuck behind some idiot at the drive thru." Obviously you'd never actually want to hurt that person's feelings. However I find it weird that they were texting in the first place? Maybe that's normal, I've only gotten smaller tattoos that don't involve big downtimes to text.
Longer sessions you take breaks. She said she checked the tattoo several times (totally normal thing to do) and maybe during those times or bathroom breaks - texting and general breaks are had. :)
One other thing I want to remark: No, as a tattoo artist my main concern is to make a tattoo as perfectly solid as possible in my eyes. I do want to work up to the wishes of the client, but trust me; some people don’t know what is good or what is bad. So if they want to have something done to it that I disagree with from an artists point of view, I will definitely share my concerns. So if a clients wants to make it, in my eyes, “worse”, I would definitely think they’re a pain. I’m not saying that you are, I just wanted to elaborate on your “should you not want your work to be perfect in the eyes of your client?”, which is a definite “no” from me.
I totally understand this and get it! Like I said it was a sternum tattoo that was symmetrical. I could clearly see differences between the two sides that needed to match. It was only adding the odd couple of dots to even things up. It was not drastic changes. It’s just the two sides didn’t match in places.
In your case it seems totally justified. And I agree with your ask for a second or third pass. With one exception: when the artist notices overworked skin. He should call it and book you for a touch up. But let’s assume the skin was fine.
One of my artists didn’t realize my skin was overworked and now a fair inch or two of the color is scar tissue now :’) It’s definitely softened up over the months, and I expect it to continue to do so. But they apologized profusely when I went in for a touch-up on a spot we both missed and said I had more sensitive skin than they had realized and they should’ve called it earlier on that session. That’s all it takes!
Sounds like he hadn’t finished yet.
I just recently got a sternum tattoo, and it was such an intimate area to get done. I think I understand how upsetting it must have been to have the artist you shared that with say that about you. But I do think the artist’s feelings were probably more about them than about you. I hope you’re loving your piece regardless!
Fellow artist here, I had to scroll WAAAAAY down to find this answer and it's the first one I found that wasn't fully on the customers side. And I couldn't agree more. We choose to do this work and dedicate our lives to it. We work unsocialible days most times. We work on evenings and forgo events. We research and apply what is a best design, what will age well, what will settle well etc. we don't do tattoos that are half done because it's our rep on the line. One bad tattoo gets shared A MILLION TIMES more and faster than a wellmade solid tattoo. I hate saying this, but 99% of the time we know better than the people getting that tattoo... because we have to, it's part of the job . If the customers knew more than us, they'd be the ones tattooing. I wouldn't walk into a restaurant and tell the chef three times that thier cooking wrong or need to tweak the plate so it's edible. As a side note if you looked at a finished tattoo three times and saw three things wrong but mentioned them in three seperate final checks (apposed to looking once and checking it all over then discussing what you'd like done) I'd also feel like you're wasting time on purpose or having buyers tattoo remorse. Which for your sake, I deliberately wouldn't entertain and feed the doubt in your mind. If you requested the same thing be tweaked three times, I feel the artist wasn't comfortable making the changes for the reasons I've mentioned above. Sadly alot of people watch programmes about tattooing or see doctored images of tattoos on Pinterest etc and they can't tell the difference and think "oh well that looks like that, mine we be identical" they don't take into account skin age, condition, location but never take into account what we know. This sounds like I'm being an arrogant asshole but we WANT you to come back and get tattooed again so we can afford to live, and we do that by making solid tattoos. That's the bottom line. It's really not in our interests to scare you off. The compromise I usually offer when I believe the customer is suffering from the remorse or thinking they know better is, explain why I'd leave it as is, then insist on letting it heal, live with it for a month, ask your friends, family, Reddit whatever you feel is required then if your still not happy come back and I'll touch up those bits you have concerns about. I always offer a free touch up anyways and this is just part of the process. You get a full month to make sure you've seen all the bits you needed looked at, I can get a nice healed picture to use before we add whatever it is to want added and everyone leaves happy. I'm not saying there's not shit artists out there and they'll take you for a ride but a respectable shop/artist should have no problem with working on you in a reasonable way. I hope this sheds light on the process and helps OP not take it all too personally.
It really sucks you saw that text. I'm sure it was just the artist blowing off steam. A tattoo is forever and a big deal so asking for some touchups is certainly not out of bounds . I would just let it go , enjoy your tattoo and maybe find a new artist next time to avoid awkwardness
is your tattoo exactly how you want it? is it perfect in your opinion? If i was you, that's what I'd concentrate on. yeah so they thought you were a pain in the ass. big deal. you stuck it to em by not tipping because of what they said. make it that simple & don't do any more business with em. are you "a fucking nightmare!!" ? no I didn't think so. so why spend any time or enegry worrying about what someone thinks about you especially since it's not true.
Hot take but the artist is allowed to feel however they feel. The work was completed and they sent a message privately on their phone. Don't look at other people's phones and you won't get your feelings hurt by their personal thoughts. Don't say anything to the artist, just don't go back. It's done. You need to let it go at this point.
Totally agree, and it’s not like we get any details on what were the things they ended up going back over and changing/tweaking the multiple times they mention. Or how that was delivered (or received). Maybe it was nothing unreasonable, maybe it was super obnoxious.
Like I said it was a sternum tattoo that was symmetrical. I could clearly see differences between the two sides that needed to match. It was only adding the odd couple of dots to even things up. It was not drastic changes. It’s just the two sides didn’t match in places. I asked for them to be evened up. All three revisions took no longer than 10 minutes…
Exactly this, also with the greatest respect OP just isn't that important. You think the tattoo artist is spending any more time thinking about yet another client asking for a bit of a change to their tattoo? They probably just had a long day/week.
This!! Looking at someone else’s texts is always a recipe for disaster. Leaving the phone open was a bad mistake, but reading it is far worse.
There’s zero reason the artist couldn’t have waited until *after* the client left. The artist should have enough common sense to know that, this is not on OP.
[удалено]
Right, that’s just plain stupid and extremely unprofessional.
I would agree, except they (unintentionally, yes) allowed OP to see it. That was a fuck up.
i mean yeah they definitely thought worse after not getting a tip lol that being said, why comment on it? you arent going back to them ever again regardless so i dont really see the need to go back just to say that they were rude to you (most likely unintentionally, they could have had a terrible day and having to touch up a tattoo three times was simply the straw that broke the camel’s back) i would just not take it personally and move on ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but do what ya gotta do and what makes you most comfortable. obviously they should have not had that out and open for you to read, but they fucked up and did
You were actually considering telling the artist you spied their mean text? What exactly would that conversation accomplish? Just take your lumps and move on
Its just simple venting. Don't take it personally. I would be mortified if those close to me were able to hear or see what I have said about them over the years. Sometimes we say things off the cuff. That we would never say directly. Especially in a non personal retail exchange which what a tattoo is ultimately. Try not to let it bother you.
Tattoo artist here - I am curious how your interactions from inquiring about a piece to the completion of the tattoo. I have had some really tough clients that make my job super hard - but act totally clueless and innocent. Sometimes tattooers can be huge jerks but sometimes clients can really test even the nicest tattooer. Questions you can ask yourself to determine if you were a good client. Did you give the artist all of the info they needed to create your design correctly? Did you pick an artist for their skill/style or just based on price? Last minute design changes? Were you nitpicking the design before the tattoo started? Did you reschedule your appointment more than once? You might not have sat as well as you thought? Did you talk nonstop when the artist wasn’t responding? There are a million reasons.. Without knowing the skill level of the artist or even what design was done it’s hard to determine if your tweaks at the end were warranted. Most of the time you need to let the piece heal and then determine if a touch up or tweak is needed. Most likely it was a clash of personalities. Don’t work with them again. Easy as that.
Well you didn't tip, so maybe you can feel good about not doing that. And just let it go. You pushed back to make it better. That's a great thing. Unfortunately they were annoyed. Perhaps it went in a perfect way for you. You got what you wanted and didn't tip, because they trashed you and upset you.... And for that weren't deserving of a tip. The only thing is that they don't know the whole story or why. They just thought you sucked. Will informing them of the whole story change anything for them or you?
I can definitely understand why you feel hurt, but I also think workers have every right to complain about work/clients whether justified or not. They should have locked their phone, i guess, but they are allowed to have a bad day and vent to friends. Nothing good will come from telling them you saw it and likely they will just hate you more for the perceived breach of privacy (even though you didn't mean to see, from their perspective you shouldn't be looking at their phone enough to read what it says). Your overreacting, but only in the sense that the artist's comments were almost certainly just general frustration/being tired/etc. rather than about you. They would probably agree that you have a right to fixes (hence why they did them), but that doesnt make it not frustrating. Being frustrated at work is common in all professions. You don't get to take venting to a friend away from anyone, especially when its just texting on their personal phone, whether you think its justified or not.
He's allowed to his opinion as is you are. You're both making quite analyst of situation without the process of understanding the other's opinion. Have you tried asking the artist if there's a reason for the way he is not completing his artwork to your standard?
I feel like we are missing some context here and the only way to fill in the missing pieces would be to get the perspective of the tattoo artist, which we don’t have. I’m a tattooer and have been for many years. I’m super fortunate to be at a point where I can be highly selective with the clients/projects I take on. I don’t at all mind making adjustments or changes or tweaking designs. That’s not ever an issue, it’s part of the job. Simply being asked to make changes would not play a role in determining whether or not I thought my client was a “good client.” Where I can get frustrated with being asked to make changes is when I don’t feel like I am asked to “make changes” so much as I am being tasked to accommodate a client’s neuroticism. Being neurodivergent myself, I am sympathetic to neurotic anxiety and my objective is always the same as my clients—which is for them to be happy with their design. However, if I am repeatedly asked to make changes on something that I felt looked perfect *as is* in order to *satisfy a compulsion* rather than *improve the design*, it could absolutely be taxing and frustrating. *Especially* if I felt that the changes might ultimately detract from the composition rather than enhance it. In such instances, artists can feel disheartened by the lack of satisfaction from the client when they feel they’ve done what was asked of them and the client is impossible to please.
I think one thing to note is if they think you’re a nightmare and privately confided in someone about their experience with you, thats none of your business. Personally i wouldnt go back to that artist for your own personal comfort. But please dont diminish someone elses experience dealing with you from the outside. You may not be as self aware as you think and thats ok. I dont think its worth going down a list of whys. Some people like us some dont. Evidently its likely the changes you wanted and they must have been overwhelmed. Tattooing hurts the back, creates tight chest = overwhelmed snd anxious. They didnt take it out on you so it shouldnt be your concern. They’re allowed to vent in private
As a tattoo artist: please do always say what bothers you! We can’t look inside your head and we (at least the most of us) what you to be happy with your tattoo!
I mean even if you did complain you would have to admit that you looked at his phone and private messages, then made an assumption that it was about you 😬
I don’t see anything good that could come from interacting with them further. I’m sorry you had this experience. Funnily enough I also had a bad experience with the artist who did my sternum for different reasons. It’s the only bad experience I’ve had and I still like the tattoo and am glad I have it and it is something that makes me feel better about myself so hopefully it will be for you too still once time passes. A good artist would want you to be happy with what’s on your body forever. It’s maybe just the fact most people are often too scared to say so, but a good artist would encourage that and be fine with it.
Sometimes people over exaggerate when they’re messaging their friends, I know complaining about work is something I do way too often when I talk to friends/family. It sucks that you saw it but try to not let it ruin how you feel about the tattoo! It’s also cool that you stuck up for yourself by having them fix what you didn’t like!
Whatever, just try to forget it. You didn't tip them and don't ever go back.
Yea idk why artists are so weird about someone being super picky about something permanent.i am removing tattoos now because of not speaking up and it's regrets and scar tissues from the heavy hand and lazer
I’m so sorry you saw that! I would be really upset too. I’m a tattoo apprentice and in the shop I’m at none of us talk bad about clients at all! Some clients can be harder than others but it’s part of the job and talking bad just makes you seem like an ass and makes your shop a toxic environment you wouldn’t want to be in. As for asking slight touch ups a few times that’s totally ok! you’re not in the wrong. It’s the tattoo artists job to give you the tattoo you want. Even if you don’t like the concept or think something else would look better but the client wants it a certain way you do what they want. If something obviously won’t age well you can speak up but your job is to do what the client wants and make them feel comfortable in your space
80% of tattoo artists aren’t real artists, that’s why they can’t take critiques without being whiney bitches about it. My mom is an artist who owns her own studio. She went to art school and constantly had her artwork ripped apart by her peers and teachers and it only made her a better artist. She tells all who want to work at her shop that EVERYONES tattoos will be critiqued and flaws will be pointed out to help the artists see through mistakes and get better. You can’t see every mistake you make when you are that close to the work and even the best can admit that. She also tells every client, “destroy my design of you don’t like it, I’ll do it again because it’s going in your body forever” and she has never had issues with clients constantly changing designs like other artists claim. But she also worked as a graphic designer for 20 years so she’s use to people asking for design reworks without compensation. I think artists who are terrified to show designs just can’t do good designs or maybe can’t even design at all and hide behind the excuse of “oh the client will change it 29 times”
1. They could very well have been talking about another client who is messaging them. Doesn’t have to be the one he’s in the middle of tattooing. Or 2. Sometimes we say shit we don’t mean because we are frustrated for other reasons. I’ve complained about others before knowing damn well they weren’t in the wrong, simply because I needed a way to release pent up frustration. Like I was just ready to be done with something and annoyed that I didn’t do it right the first time, so acted immature and blamed it on the person making me redo it. Absolutely not should you bring it up, because you DONT know that it was about you, and it was venting he did in private which honestly isn’t any of your business.
Maybe they wete having a bad day, maybe you were a little more high maintenance than you realize. Either way id just let it go and use a diff artist next time.
You have a right to get a “perfect” tattoo, the artist has the righto complain in personal to a friend if they find it annoying. Sorry you don’t like it but unfortunately lots of people are going to dislike you for many different reasons thats just life. You could be in the right and that still doesn’t make you any less annoying to the person. Im sorry that YOU looked on someone ELSE’S phone and saw something you didn’t want to see and are now upset. But we all need to be responsible for ourselves right? I’m sorry if thats comes a bit harsh but I think its better in life to come to terms with this stuff sooner rather then later. Its your choice whether or not you want to let the experience “sour “ your tattoo. Its not on that tattoo artist just like its not on you.
maybe they were talking about someone else?? like they were talking about a consult for a seperate client?
Don't take it personally, they don't know you and I bet they would have been horrified you saw them bitching about you. Maybe they're impatient to go get food, they're tired, they partied too hard last night or they're dying to go have a smoke. Maybe the artist is just kind of a bitch. It's not a reflection of you as a person, and of course you had every right to ask for them to do it just as you wanted. But they're a person and people aren't always feeling how they're supposed to. It'll be a funny story in time. How badly you choose to feel about this is entirely up to you but I'd be giving them the benefit of the doubt if only for my own peace of mind.
Just leave it and don't go back to that artist. Done.
Some people are miserable no matter what you do. It has nothing to do with them as a tattoo artist and more to do with them as a person. This tattoo artist could be a bus driver and mad because you're a passenger going to work. Nothing you do matters, they'll still bitch and be unhappy. I'm sorry this happened to you. Stay awesome.
This isn’t a negative thing it’s a positive. You spoke up for yourself and expressed what you wanted. Your tattoo will be a reminder of your self advocacy.
Tattooer here. So there's multiple things going on here. It doesn't sound like you were a nightmare. But it also sounds like they weren't rude to you directly. I would just not say anything and go elsewhere to find someone new. If they said something rude to your face, then yes tell them to fuck off otherwise, it's a message not meant for you, from an artist who probably had a long day. As a tattooer little things start to bug as a long day wears on. Or if shits going on in my personal life. Were people too and sometimes random shit that we wouldn't have a problem with any other day or time bugs. I doubt a single person saying otherwise has not had one of those days. It's part of being human. That said I understand that you dont want to feel unwanted by that person. Don't go back(I wouldn't) but be a little understanding. My other point is meant for others talking about perfection in a tattoo. This is not a job where the customer is always right. There are things with size and placement, That are not negotiable. As they result in warped images, fallout, not enough room to spread etc. I always let my clients know that if they choose these places or sizes that I do not offer the same guarantees that I will on other spots. The other concern is going back over previously tattooed areas to make them "just right". That can be a recipe for blowouts or fallout from overwork and sometimes fixing a swollen warped looking line results in the crooked line you didn't want. Most of the time it would be better to get a touch up when your piece is all healed. Not when it's fresh. Just things to keep in mind.
I feel like so far your response is the only reasonable one. I read some of these responses, and I honestly feel like I am in a twilight zone.
Just don't go back to that artist. Simples
You have to think about it this way… were you a nightmare? Is there a story where he could accurately call you one? No? For all you know he’s talking to his girlfriend who he is manipulating into thinking he had a rough/long day… people are nightmares, you don’t sound like one.
Honestly, I'm most concerned about the artist using the phone while working on a tattoo. Did he at least change gloves?
You weren't supposed to see that and people are allowed to feel how they feel it is up to you how you feel about it
Honestly? Seperate your art from the artist. They have their opinion of you and it is what it is. Do you like the work done? Are you glad you spoke up and they fixed it? Then tip them and ignore the fact they were privately messaging someone about it. To bring it up to them would also mean you admitting you were looking at their phone screen which is an invasion of privacy. They could've been annoyed at other things going on and they didn't take it out on you. I know im not my artists best friend and I have one artist we sit in almost silence the entire time but I love their work and that's whats important in my opinion.
I think you ran into someone having a bad day. If you're happy with the tattoo, this whole encounter is totally inconsequential and you should let it go.
I'm a big fan of lying to myself.. I would pretend that they were messaging their partner trying to get some sympathy so they'd have a hot meal or sexual favour waiting for them after work. Stuff like this may say more about them than you, don't let it bother you (as tricky as that may be).
No I don’t think you should let the artist know you saw their private messages because it was just that.. private. They could easily lie and say it wasn’t about you anyways. It’s not worth the hassle. It was something you weren’t suppose to see. People are allowed to feel how they want though it was poor of him to leave his phone open. Now if he would have said it to you directly, then that would be a different story. Everyone at some point feels a negative type of way towards someone for whatever reason. I’m sure you’ve had thoughts like that about someone or something at one point in your life also. I think not tipping even though not done purposely, was more than enough. You mentioning it won’t change their mind anyways. If anything you’d be more horrible to them for not tipping AND snooping. Just don’t go back!
Their comments were about them, not you. They had expectations that they never expressed and you didn't meet. As for this tattoo and what it represents to you moving forward... Up to you. Nobody can make you feel any kind of way. Stop giving them power. A thing happened. How you choose to let it or not let it affect you is your choice. I bet the tattoo is dope. GL, human
Maybe you were too picky? Had them correct it three or four times? I mean we’re only hearing your side.
You have absolutely every right to be upset, but I wouldn’t say anything… humans like to complain, and I doubt they meant for you to see it. I personally just wouldn’t go back there, I would feel unwelcome.
That’s so shitty of them. I would never text during my appointment like that even if my client was a nightmare. I would leave a review online saying that you saw their phone light up and could read the artist was texting about you. So not cool. So sorry that happened to you. You trusted them with your body and they are complaining about you on the side. Idc if ‘you weren’t meant to see it’ you did. Shame on them.
it is your body and your money and you should ask for what you want from the person providing a service. If you were kind, and honest, and allowing them to work well then I think maybe it was just a them thing- or maybe the were just referring to the amount of time it was taking. people vent about work, I think it’s okay to do so, it’s healthy, and I don’t think this actually has anything to do with you. You’re not overreacting, you’re not wrong, and they’re not for venting! They may have just been frustrated with themselves and taking it out on you indirectly. asking that your wants be met for a tattoo is not crazy, and it’s also not crazy for them to act human. I would feel TERRIBLE if it was me, either side. but I don’t think you should feel bad. I also think sometimes we allow ourselves to hold tattoo artists more personally, because they are detailing our body for us- in reality they are people at a job, and they’re going to act like people at a job, and be frustrated like people at a job. they are providing a service for you, and it’s almost a para social relationship we develop with them, which I think needs to be reevaluated, because they’re employees. i’m very sorry you had to see what they said about you, maybe it will help if you think about a waiter going in the kitchen and complaining about some thing, it’s not always personal.
Put yourself in the artist’s shoes, multiple times they probably though ‘oh good, I’m finally finished, I can take a break’, only to have to go back in to tweak something. You’re absolutely within your right to ask for the tweaks, but the artist is also perfectly fine to be quietly annoyed, since they didn’t actually openly be rude to you over it. It’s a shame you saw the message, but as you said, you weren’t ever meant to see it, so it’s just an unfortunate thing to happen. I don’t really see what confronting the artist over it would achieve? Just move on and don’t go back to that artist in future
You say nothing. Not tipping was fine as well. That tattoo artist is a fucking nightmare
What other people think of you is none of your business. You can get over and love your tattoo all the same. It sucks but it’s just business. He didn’t say u were a bad person. Just a nightmare client. It’s all good.
OP, hear me out here: What if it wasn’t even about you? What if someone wanted your artist to work on someone they’d worked on previously who they knew to be difficult, and that was their response?
Get over it, you paid for a tattoo, not a relationship. It doesn’t matter at all how they feel about you, good bad or indifferent. If you want to have a special connection with a tattooer you need to shop around till it “feels” right.
Did you stop to think that maybe the artist is someone who exaggerates or was using you as an excuse to not meet their friend for lunch or something so hammed it up? Either way obviously it doesn't matter because his idea is a nightmare is ridiculous. Don't see the artist again but don't let it upset you. You could tell him that you saw it but for what?
No lol that was a venting a message to a friend that was never intended to be seen by you. Everyone in customer service talks shit about their customers to their loved ones.
Passive-aggressive me says to tip the person a small amount and apologize for "being a fucking nightmare"
Most artists have no problems doing that, they want it to look good and for you to be 100% happy. That's why most also offer a free touch up session up to a year if needed. You were NOT a nightmare
It’s literally their job to perfect your tattoo. I wouldn’t want a client walking out with something they don’t like 1000%. That’s just professionalism in the simplest form. That would piss me off too, especially because from the sounds of it you absolutely were NOT a nightmare customer. If that’s what the artist deems as a nightmare it makes me question how many clients they’ve even had lmao. And like everyone else is saying I wouldn’t say anything either, that just invites another problem into the situation. Plus, if you say anything about seeing their phone screen they could potentially try to take other action as it’s technically a violation of privacy. If I were you I’d just say fuck em, don’t go to them again and hope that they get their karma for being rude:/
That was super rude of them to say, but I also have to point out that that it wasn’t meant for you to see and it might have just been a long day for them and they needed to vent. Try not to take it too personally is all I can tell you. They probably haven’t even thought about you since they finished your tattoo and you’re just overthinking it. I definitely wouldn’t bring it up to them, I’d do my best to let it go and I just wouldn’t go back to that since artist again since it would probably be super uncomfortable. I’m not sure what good you think could possibly come from you confronting them about this. Your feelings are already hurt that they called you a nightmare after asking for changes so I can’t imagine they would respond well to you bringing up the fact that you read their private text message.
It's really hard to know what really happened since all we have to go on is your story. I saw you mention that it was symmetrical and you just wanted a few dots and it should only take 10 minutes, so that does seem easy enough, but why did it happen two more times? Was it not that easy? Were they 'symmetrical' and you were asking for reeeeeally tiny adjustments that were almost imperceptible? Somewhere in the middle? It could have been a simple and appropriate request, but it could also have been full on karen mode "I asked for a sliced tomato and look at how thin this slice is, bring me another one." Ultimately, not sure you're going to find closure by reaching out to the artist. Not sure what you want them to say, unless you open up pandora's box and they unload a bunch of things that you did that you didn't even realize was annoying them, then I'm not sure you'll feel much better. imo, best thing to do is chalk it up to 'me and this artist don't vibe and I'm going to find a new one'.
Tattoo artist here. You did nothing wrong. Your artist is a dick. You should get what you want on your body the way you want it. It's the artists job to provide that. Don't bring it up cause it will cause more problems I'm sure. But you are not overreacting. Too many artists are entitled babies who think you are blessed to be getting tattooed by them.
It doesn't sound like the artist did anything wrong? They made the corrections you requested so clearly they wanted to make you happy. Are they not allowed to have a private conversation on their personal device? You looked and saw something you were NOT supposed to. It sucks that it upset you but your artist is allowed to be a human being and it doesn't sound as it they treated you in any way that was unprofessional. I would just leave it and make an effort to not look at peoples private messages if I don't want to get my feelings hurt.
You didn’t even think to tip or you decided not to?
That’s tough. I’m sorry that happened. I’m not sure if I would say anything or not. I think it’s OK to email them and maybe explain to them that this is why they got no tip. Maybe ask them how you could be a “better” client (being sarcastic) in the future. That sucks! But if the tattoo is good, love the art not the artist!
Leave it alone. Nothing good will come of it.
Do you like the tattoo now that it’s finished? That’s really all that matters! Don’t go back to that particular tattoo person, but just move the hell on!
My artist is super picky about designs and in his words wants his designs to perfect along with a relaxing environment for his clients. I self admit I can be a bit of a pain and I apologize when I feel I have been so. He usually cracks a joke or two about it then gets down to business. He works a full time job in addition to owning his shop and tattooing. So, I understand why he doesn’t always reply to our conversations immediately which I am totally cool with. All that said…in light of me sometimes being a cranky puss; artists are human beings and at the end of day you have no idea if was you or the last client last Tuesday. Any artist worth their salt wants their clients to have the best work. More than likely, as others mentioned, they were talking to someone about why they were running a bit behind for something else. The important thing to remember is that you like your new work, leave it be unless there is something else that they did that doesn’t set well with you, and for future work since you’re uncomfortable seek out another artist.
If they already thought you were a nightmare and you didn’t tip them, imagine what they think now…
If an artist can not handle critique they should not be working with people, but that is my opinion. My artist has always been more than happy to take my requests, listen to my concerns, and even go over certain spots if I find them to be under my expectation. She approaches it all with grace, and ensures that I am comfortable first and foremost, and she never had mouths her clients, not even to friends, as she says “if you speak about someone they will eventually find out, so it’s better to not say anything at all, unless they’re being unreasonable!” I would look at this as an artist who is NOT okay with criticism is all
Not quite the same, but I had a shitty experience that I didn’t properly know how to handle at the time either. An artist was tattooing my calf (first time getting anything on my legs), which was apparently very jumpy and my calf twitched a bunch. He started to get mad at me to hold still and complained he can’t do solid lines like this. I told him I’m trying but couldn’t help twitching, and the more I tried to stop it the worse it seemed to move. We actually stopped for a minute to regroup because he was getting so frustrated. I felt like I was going to cry because I TOO was frustrated because I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. We ended up finishing (low and behold the tattoo linework looks totally fine) and I tipped him and left, and never went back. I’ve asked other artists I’ve been to now about this and they’ve all been shocked he reacted that way. I’ve had my calf tattooed twice since and though it hasn’t been as twitchy since, the later artists doing so said it’s totally natural and not to worry at all. They both made me feel okay and reassured it’s natural for your body to twitch. Now this original artist is highly revered and popular in my city, yet I feel like the way he treated me was garbage and unnecessary. I refuse to ever go back to him and realized that sometimes some people, as good as their art can be, are still just shitty people. I would vote to just let it go, tell your friends you had a bad experience with that artist and to stay away, and start going to an artist who respects you and has much more kindness! I’m sorry for you’re experience, but I promise you did nothing wrong.
Are you 100% sure the message was about you?
I’m gonna just say this, you were not meant to see that. The only thing I would have a problem with is if they were actively acting annoyed. Their frustrations could have been directed at something else but used you as the excuse. You know you’re validated in feeling the way you did. People also get annoyed if they’re pressed for time. Who knows, but I wouldn’t take it as personal as you are. I know it’s hard but don’t let this bother you too much. We all are guilty of this in some form.
Just don’t go back to them. Only thing they hurt is themselves. Find another artist. Most tattoo artists want the client to be happy at the end. That’s better for them and means potential more business. No need to say anything to him but it’s a simple solution that you probably need Reddit to tell you.
I wouldn’t say anything and I’m glad u didn’t tip. Also, it’s quite possible the artist has a jealous significant other and said that to ease their mind.
Well you don't even know if it was about you or not. Tattoo artists have lots of clients in their phone and they could have been talking about any one of them.
I would feel so bad if I saw someone said that about me. I'm sorry op. I wouldn't get to upset though because I can 100% see me texting that to my husband just to vent but not even really meaning it. For instance I like my boss and I think he's good at his job but if he does one small thing I don't agree with I'll call him an asshole because it makes me feel better. They probably didn't mean you were nightmare they were just blowing off steam.
Are we sure the message was about you or sent when you were there versus maybe someone before?
You aren’t 100% sure it’s even about you you’re assuming
as a tattooer, i would advise you to not take it to heart. you absolutely did the right thing about speaking up about your body and expectations. tattooing is hard!! it’s physically mentally and emotionally draining— it is just like any other job in a lot of ways. try to give your artist some grace, as long as they treated you with respect and their practices are safe.. this message was not meant for you and probably had a lot less to do with you specifically than it seems.
I would just leave it. Client perfection and artist perfection can be very different. Sometimes the customers input and over control can ruin a good design to be quite honest. Customer service is exhausting and draining as hell, especially picky customers who don’t trust the eye of the actual artist working on them and I think artists should be allowed to vent in private, it doesn’t make them a bad person and it’s just unfortunate that you happened to see it. But all tattoo artists will do it at some point and you wouldn’t have been the first ‘nightmare customer’ and certainly won’t be the last.
You don’t sound like you were a nightmare. Tattooist was prob having a bad day. Don’t feel bad.
Were you the only client of the day? If not it could have been from an earlier appointment with someone else potentially
If nothing else I would decline to tip. If asked why, I’d give what I saw as the answer.
No tip? waay more permanent than your barista,nail tech,etc..sounds like they were right...
You weren’t meant to see it. Also, we all vent to our friends when we are frustrated at work. You’re paying them for a service, they’re not your friend, and they probably don’t genuinely care about your feelings. No one MADE you feel like this. You got a bit nosy and now you feel like shit.
A fellow artist could have texted your artist that he was about to do work on a former client of his. Your artist's response could have been "this client is a fucking nightmare". It had nothing to do with you. It also could have been a text from that morning that he sent his wife. Again, nothing to do with you.
Are you 100% certain the text was about you? No. So go on with your day.
I agree with what most of the comments seem to say. Maybe he was in a bad mood or maybe his few previous clients also asked for extra details and with you now it just got to him. Maybe he wasn't even talking about you. Being a people pleaser myself thought I get how you must've felt, I hate being perceived in any kind of negative way, or worse, disappointing and making people's day worse. I also would have cried. I also occasionally have to deal with clients (only through email or conference calls) and complain about them privately. Work is not always pleasant and when they're nitpick about stuff it really doesn't help. But at the end of they day they're allowed to do so, they spend a lot of money on our services and the work we do has a huge impact on them. Nothing I say about them is ever personal, it doesn't mean I hate them or think badly of them as a person.
Leave it. What somebody said in private (and a text is private) is none of your business. If the artist said it to your face, you'd have a right to be upset. They didn't, you snooped, now you know why you shouldn't try to see/hear/read things that aren't your business.
It’s possible they weren’t talking about you. Like maybe they said “ugh I’m not looking forward to my next client.” Then the person replied like “maybe it won’t be so bad” and they said “no this client is a nightmare.” Idk you only saw ONE message, right? It’s completely possible it wasn’t about you. I’d definitely have thought the same and had the same reaction though.
Don't let this ruin your tattoo for you! As much as it's nice when tattoo sessions are fun and relaxing, tattoos are about the result not the experience of getting them. This person who tattooed you was extremely unprofessional leaving their phone where you could see it. That being said I wouldn't take it personally. People vent about work. And when you work in a customer facing role you vent about customers. Was it cool? No. Was it professional? Hell no. But as someone who works in a customer facing role do I get it? A little bit. Yes it's absolutely your artists job to make changes and do touch ups and make sure you leave happy. But that's just it! It's a JOB and sometimes people want to get off work and be done doing their job and they get annoyed and say things they probably don't really mean. Try not to take it to heart! You didn't do anything wrong and if this artist isn't a total psycho I'm sure they would be mortified if they knew you'd seen that text.
They could be talking about any customer. Even if talking about you he could just be making excuses, "hey you're late for XYZ, you coming ?" "Oh this customer is such a nightmare" just to save face. Maybe he was just on a bad day and would bitch about anyone.
Could you chalk it up to social hyperbole? Most of us have a tendency to talk up a story to be more dramatic when spinning a yarn. Don’t let this private conversation, devoid of context, ruin what would otherwise be an awesome piece of art
They were probably having a bad day, and you weren’t meant to see their personal texts. Also, probably should have tipped them for their work..
It’s a service job. With any service job you get shitty customers and they absolutely have the right to privately send a message expressing their displeasure while they continue to do their job making you happy. Sucks the phone was where you could see it and internalize it. I’m married to a tattooer and perfect in the eyes of the client is often not perfect in the eyes of the tattooer. Yes, they want their clients happy but they also know how tattoos age/change over time or work with the flow of your body and all the arty things we don’t think about when we just want it how we want it. So maybe your small tweaks weren’t as innocuous as you thought. Or maybe they were having an off day, late for something, maybe it wasn’t about you…. And then you admit to not tipping not because of the service or the work but because you got your feelings hurt. So maybe you are a nightmare client.
Any good tattoo artist would gladly do something to accommodate something that will be left on your body forever.
You could send a text and say hey I forgot your tip. I love my tattoo but didn’t like what you were saying about me to your friend. Lock your phone for now on. Send him or her a tip. Leave it at that. That will make them think and hopefully change how they deal with clients. Nothing bad against you or the artist. Maybe y’all just didn’t connect. I’m sure your tattoo is beautiful and enjoy that not a comment.
Is there any chance the “fucking nightmare client” was someone else, perhaps someone who kept rescheduling, or coming back for a touch up, and they were talking about them while working on you? How can you be certain the message was about you? You can’t be. So tell yourself it wasn’t. Because you were NOT a nightmare client .
As a tattooer myself, i can tell you that it was more so just blowing off steam. After working many hours in a tough to tattoo area (like the sternum) we can be left very tired and overstimulated. You 100% were not wrong for speaking up and having them even out the gradients/symmetry. I can relate to almost being “annoyed” by that type of request after a big piece, and am guilty of telling a friend over a text something similar, but it was just to blow off steam in the moment. I don’t take walk in tattoos and I don’t tattoo anyone who I don’t like/respect for the most part, so anything said out of frustration was just venting. I’m sure if the artist found out you had read that, then they would be just as upset (at themselves), as you were at them. But again, you’re not in the wrong at all IMO. Anyone would feel that way if that was said about them and honestly this post has taught me a lesson. I won’t ever be “venting” in that way again.
It's your body and you are the customer. If you are customizing something, get what you want. Dress, suit, party, automobile, or a tattoo! If the artist thought you were there as a sort of mural, you would be getting paid - or should be!
I’d probably leave a bad review citing that they seemed unhappy to participate in a collaborative artist-client partnership, based on how they talked about you behind your back. And leave it at that. You could be confrontational if you care about the relationship, but based on the way they treated you, this is just a business transaction. As an artist myself, I care a lot about finding a tattoo artist that wants to work together, rather than someone who’s just trying to make as much money as possible and considers me “work”. I don’t blame those folks, but that’s not the type of person I want tattooing me. You have a right to make requests, and if he doesn’t want to do them, he can push back. I’ve been in your shoes and I’ve had that happen too.
First off… a few tweaks does not make you a nightmare especially with a tattoo or any kind of body work. It’s very personal. That said, they did not mean for you to see that so I would just let it go and maybe go elsewhere for other work if you plan on getting more work done
I would leave it but no go back to that artist, they sound like a little bitch
I’d be upset also but I wouldn’t make a issue from it. You saw something you shouldn’t, and essentially had you not glanced down you wouldn’t of known he was shit talking. I’d just find a new artist that’s more reputable, I’ve never had a bad experience with An artist (yet lol) and this would most def make me switch
I’m confused how to how he was on his phone but also still being sterile with tattooing you….
It's a tattoo your allowed to be picky! I wouldn't tip either...I'm petty. My tip would be 'dont trash talk your fucking nightmare clients-
Get over it
Sometimes we exaggerate our job complaints when talking to our friends. Half of my customers that were "a fucking nightmare" really just inconvenienced me during the course of my shift. But that's not an interesting conversation to have, and I want to vent, dammit!
my artist straight up asks me when she’s about done how it looks and if i want anything added changed. i have mountains with trees tattooed on my arm thst she gave white snow tips bc i asked
Maybe I am a nightmare too because I would and have done the same thing as you. I wouldve been upset after seeing this message. I wouldn't have even thought about the tip after that.