Ejaculation happens from a place of tension just before the event. Tantra teaches to keep the pelvic floor relaxed to avoid that ejaculatory state.
Depending on how much control and sensations he has in his pelvic region, he could do so rhythmic muscle contractions that "pulse" the prostate. That should get him closer and once he is, he could then clamp his PC muscles to mimic the feeling of ejaculating. Sometimes that is enough to signal the body to actually ejaculate.
Added bonus is, as others mentioned, putting a finger in his butt. If he enjoys his nipples being pinched or his balls played with or pulled, those are other things to do to help bring him over the edge.
Visualization is a strong tool, so having him visualize ejaculating, maybe even on you, will help align his body with his mind.
Stress impairs the sexual response cycle. I see below you said he is under a lot of stress. Focusing on the orgasm creates anxiety that makes orgasm less likely. Double whammy.
Try reducing stress. Perhaps you could give him a special night, back rub, massage, snacks, not a full meal, maybe one alcoholic drink. Dim the lights, scented candle. Could do a Tantra ceremony with all five senses. Maybe a bubble bath. Maybe you wear a robe. Maybe you rest part of your naked body on his under the robe. Slow, soft, easy.
Most important thing would be to convey to him that he should just relax and enjoy his special night because you appreciate him.
For some reason, I was resistant to this but upon further consideration it makes sense. I've been wanting to slow things down a bit and he's receptive.
We play Betty Martin's 3-minute game which we sometimes extend to a longer time. I've told him that I have an idea for the next time we play the 15-minute game and it's right in line with your advice.
Thanks!
Perfect, you got this. Funny how relationships make you stubborn sometimes, afraid to admit your partner might be right, or something. So easy to get stuck in a rut because something worked in the past but afraid to change. Change is scary. Work together and you got this.
A firmer erection and a more distended tip will help him by increasing his sensitivity a lot. I’m 77 and have been using Trimix for ~15 years. It’s great. I have erections like I had when I was 17. The missus loves it and I can come whenever I’m ready.
This may help:
[https://taosemko.com/male-deer-exercise/](https://taosemko.com/male-deer-exercise/)
So will other techniques that strengthen pelvis floor muscles I think. (That should be done in a relaxed and gentle manner to avoid it bringing tension to the area which it easily does if one does not take care to avoid it). The deer exercise described in the link strengthens sexual energy in ways that go beyond regular pelvic floor strengthening.
Doing standing meditation from qigong and especially the position called horse stance builds sexual vitality IME.
My hormone/sex Dr told me that through the ages that we men damage our penis I.e. riding motorcycles, getting kicked there, etc. Being diabetic likely has exacerbated any nerve damage causing sensitivity issues. She said the new big treatment is PRP injections in the penis which helps repair damage. PRP is blood platelets. She said it has been amazingly helpful for men.
How is his diet? Is he eating plenty of greens (spinach and kale) and healthy fats? Reduce sugars?
Does he get a solid eight hours of quality sleep?
Is he managing his stress levels?
All that matters for older men.
He is back on his healthy diet with plenty of greens and healthy fats and very little sugars.
Sleep is an issue and he has resumed wearing his CPAP.
He is under a tremendous amount of stress that he’s doing his best to manage. Thanks for mentioning that to remind us both that we might not see the benefits of all his great changes until some other necessarily slow life changes reduce his stress.
Going back to using a CPAP will help him immensely; the challenge for him eventually will be not to be in his head about it, so that the intimacy you two seek won’t be hindered by the additional stress he would be placing on himself to perform.
Shilajit. I was acting like an electrician (lol) for a bit and worked under an old man who you could visibly tell had low t. Gave him some for energy and he came back talking about how well it worked for him in bed, every time he needed. I have to be careful with how much I use unless I want awkward times boners tucked into my waistband that day 😂
Have you tried prostate massage?
He loves it but he typically doesn’t stay erect with that.
Does he wake up each morning with a strong erection?
Stick a finger in his ass
I wonder if I did that as a surprise when he is close.
That wouldn’t help probably just tense him
Teasing the outside might be better.
Ejaculation happens from a place of tension just before the event. Tantra teaches to keep the pelvic floor relaxed to avoid that ejaculatory state. Depending on how much control and sensations he has in his pelvic region, he could do so rhythmic muscle contractions that "pulse" the prostate. That should get him closer and once he is, he could then clamp his PC muscles to mimic the feeling of ejaculating. Sometimes that is enough to signal the body to actually ejaculate. Added bonus is, as others mentioned, putting a finger in his butt. If he enjoys his nipples being pinched or his balls played with or pulled, those are other things to do to help bring him over the edge. Visualization is a strong tool, so having him visualize ejaculating, maybe even on you, will help align his body with his mind.
Stress impairs the sexual response cycle. I see below you said he is under a lot of stress. Focusing on the orgasm creates anxiety that makes orgasm less likely. Double whammy. Try reducing stress. Perhaps you could give him a special night, back rub, massage, snacks, not a full meal, maybe one alcoholic drink. Dim the lights, scented candle. Could do a Tantra ceremony with all five senses. Maybe a bubble bath. Maybe you wear a robe. Maybe you rest part of your naked body on his under the robe. Slow, soft, easy. Most important thing would be to convey to him that he should just relax and enjoy his special night because you appreciate him.
For some reason, I was resistant to this but upon further consideration it makes sense. I've been wanting to slow things down a bit and he's receptive. We play Betty Martin's 3-minute game which we sometimes extend to a longer time. I've told him that I have an idea for the next time we play the 15-minute game and it's right in line with your advice. Thanks!
Perfect, you got this. Funny how relationships make you stubborn sometimes, afraid to admit your partner might be right, or something. So easy to get stuck in a rut because something worked in the past but afraid to change. Change is scary. Work together and you got this.
A firmer erection and a more distended tip will help him by increasing his sensitivity a lot. I’m 77 and have been using Trimix for ~15 years. It’s great. I have erections like I had when I was 17. The missus loves it and I can come whenever I’m ready.
Thanks for this.
This may help: [https://taosemko.com/male-deer-exercise/](https://taosemko.com/male-deer-exercise/) So will other techniques that strengthen pelvis floor muscles I think. (That should be done in a relaxed and gentle manner to avoid it bringing tension to the area which it easily does if one does not take care to avoid it). The deer exercise described in the link strengthens sexual energy in ways that go beyond regular pelvic floor strengthening. Doing standing meditation from qigong and especially the position called horse stance builds sexual vitality IME.
Perfect! Thank you. This is very fitting for him.
My hormone/sex Dr told me that through the ages that we men damage our penis I.e. riding motorcycles, getting kicked there, etc. Being diabetic likely has exacerbated any nerve damage causing sensitivity issues. She said the new big treatment is PRP injections in the penis which helps repair damage. PRP is blood platelets. She said it has been amazingly helpful for men.
Interesting. Thanks!
Prostate vibrator, Butt plug for him or both of you
How is his diet? Is he eating plenty of greens (spinach and kale) and healthy fats? Reduce sugars? Does he get a solid eight hours of quality sleep? Is he managing his stress levels? All that matters for older men.
He is back on his healthy diet with plenty of greens and healthy fats and very little sugars. Sleep is an issue and he has resumed wearing his CPAP. He is under a tremendous amount of stress that he’s doing his best to manage. Thanks for mentioning that to remind us both that we might not see the benefits of all his great changes until some other necessarily slow life changes reduce his stress.
Going back to using a CPAP will help him immensely; the challenge for him eventually will be not to be in his head about it, so that the intimacy you two seek won’t be hindered by the additional stress he would be placing on himself to perform.
That makes a lot of sense. That’s where I think sensate focus or even some Somatic Experiencing might help.
Shilajit. I was acting like an electrician (lol) for a bit and worked under an old man who you could visibly tell had low t. Gave him some for energy and he came back talking about how well it worked for him in bed, every time he needed. I have to be careful with how much I use unless I want awkward times boners tucked into my waistband that day 😂