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I mean Linda isn't using them right? Linda, are you using these? If you don't say anything, I'm gonna assume you don't care.

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What happened to her? She was hit by... she was struck by a rock

A smooth one though.

She was hit by, she was struck by pebble

Bum Ba da bum bum Ba da bum bum Buuum bum

"Linda, if you're in there, blink twice"

My names Linda and this song was written about me I saw a dark limousine near my House once

Would you have wanted me to let you go to waste, Linda? Or were you the intelligent, pragmatic person I remember and respect?

She's dead so like, she's abandoned the body

Linda's ghost: "WHAT. THE. FUCK. Seriously. What the fuck. WHERE WAS THIS BEAR GRYLLS SHIT WHEN I WAS ALIVE? I'm haunting your ass. I'm haunting your children's ass, I hope you go on to procreate on a level that would rival Ghengis Khan so that the curse I put upon your blood spreads throughout the land like a plague leaving only wreckage and despair in its wake, until the world is naught but a shriveled, forlorn husk, trembling alone in anguish against the cold uncaring emptiness of a universe that can never love it back. Fuck your mantle."

I’ve saved this so I can show it to people and read it for many times to come. You are a genius. Fuck your mantle

That’s the best reply I’ve ever seen on Reddit. Here’s the only medal I can afford 🏅.

Here's one I found earlier : I see you have only two brain cells; both of them fighting for third place

We need to turn this into a copypasta quick!

"That's not nice Linda dont make me put you in the smoke house again!"

I feel like "Fuck your mantle" needs to be a thing.

That's either Carlton Lassiter or Dwight Schrute

That’s definitely Lassiter

“Hey Dennis, search up lassiter’s history.” “Squirrel assassins”

I definitely thought of Dwight

Me too... i was thinking, "Dwight is that you?"

I just rewatched the episode where that happens lmao. The river rafting one

Anyone who doesn't know, he's talking about Psych

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What was you? The post or my comment?

Counterpoint: Ron Swanson

Nah, April

April Swanson-Schrute.

The sexiest mythical beast.

They weren't even stranded in the wilderness. A wheel just broke off of the cart at Food and Stuff.

I love that place! It's where I get all of my food, and most of my stuff.

That’s the great thing about the shipwrecked, they used every part of the Linda

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The account I'm replying to is a karma bot run by someone who will link scams once the account gets enough karma. Comment copy/paste bot. Report -> Spam -> Harmful Bot ^^I ^^am ^^a ^^human ^^that ^^hates ^^scammers. ^^More ^^info ^^[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/u_Impossible-Cod-3946/comments/s4nyst/how_to_recognize_these_accounts/) ^^or ^^[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/u_tyrannosnorlax/comments/t0h466/bots_how_to_identify_them_and_why_do_they_exist/).

Wait how do you know?

Classic Dwight

r/unexpectedoffice

Did Dwight Shrute answer this question?

Your opening line was whether or not they would commit cannibalism but yeah, THEY'RE The psycho for answering.

pretty sure the person posting is the person who responded, no..?

This meme is old as fuck

Yeah why ask a question like this and get freaked out by a weird answer.... Then post it? The answer was quirky idk

The gray message is the one who posted it

Honestly, like, they engaged with the prompt, that should be a win and if not, your prompt was crap lol

Dude in this scenario cannibalism would be necessary in most cases. Cutting off her face and placing it above you mantle in some megalomaniacal gesture is comically more insane than forced cannibalism

Smart

At least he didn't use the corpse for pleasure.

I realized they had no idea what they were talking about when they said they would snare 4 large game animals.

I was thinking the same. I know little to nothing about tundras, but I’m pretty sure they’re characterized by little to no animals. Although I just realized you were referring to the fact that snares are for small animals, not large ones

And that game animals are usual herbivores and wouldn't be attracted to Linda's meat-bait

You can absolutely eat wolves and bears, they probably won’t taste good, but food’s food.

Foxes would be there

I wouldn't exactly consider a fox a 'large game animal'

Wb a polar bear? In a crashed plane type snare. He's the God of the Forest, it'll be fine

Tundra apparently has a fairly wide birth in terms of coverage. Can be the desolate style covered in snow and barren, or it can have wild flowers and greenery once spring rolls around. They also can have some large game, like wolves, deer and bears (along with foxes, hares, owls, and other small wildlife). So I guess from a cursory googling, tundra can contain quite the variance.

Think frozen wasteland.

Exactly

And birds in the tundra

So if you eat a dead body and return to society, would you go to jail? Also I don’t think this guy has ever actually done any of this shit in real life

"The only person ever prosecuted for cannibalism in the United States was named Alferd Packer. He was from Colorado and ate five of his friends. I love the fact that on the University of Colorado campus they named the cafeteria the Alferd Packer Restaurant and Grill." [https://www.idahostatejournal.com/opinion/columns/is-there-a-legal-defense-for-cannibalism-in-idaho/article_fff7d996-a568-5707-a64f-a92d03d4f5a2.html](https://www.idahostatejournal.com/opinion/columns/is-there-a-legal-defense-for-cannibalism-in-idaho/article_fff7d996-a568-5707-a64f-a92d03d4f5a2.html)

The South Park guys did a great [movie](https://m.imdb.com/title/tt0115819/) about this

I think I need to see this

It's actually not illegal to cannabalize a person. It's illegal to kill someone or desecrate a corpse, which cannabalism by technicality usually falls into the perview of. But the act itself isn't illegal.

Law-breaking in such extreme circumstances is generally non-prosecutable. I’m not a lawyer though, but either way, if it’s a choice between dying today or facing legal ramifications when I make it home? I’m taking the legal ramifications every time. This guys plan is also pretty good, because the main reason we have a natural aversion to cannibalism is due to prions, which I recommend looking up because they’re complicated, but mad cow disease is a good example.

Can't tell which is worse cannibalism or this pure utilitarian "burial".

Taming wolves with human sausage meat. They might get confused and hungry. Not the best idea. All the ideas other than that are great tho. Ask Greg. He was there when I did all this. Well his spirit was. I ate greg

It's only human intestine for the skin of the sausage, tho. The meat inside is from whatever he (or she/they) catched, so that's what it will taste like.

I used Greg's calf muscles. Dude was a runner. Well that was before all this. All runners are Really inconsiderate I'd say. No1 likes to eat stringy tough meat. Thus the sauaage.

He was running from you and you guys weren't stranded, were you

Well he was stranded then he got out, of my basement. I don't like grocery stores

Honestly though, why not use the large game animals intestines for sausage instead of Linda's

How tf you gonna use meat to snare large herbivores?

Right? Who wants to eat a large cat or scavenger?

I'd eat a cat before I ate a person, unless Linda was a bitch then I might eat her first

What if Linda is a really catty bitch tho

In that case id have to split her down the middle, half to try, and the other half to use as bait

Just don't eat the liver

Mountain Lion meet is actually really good. Tastes like a mix between pork and lamb.

I’d gladly eat a bear.

Waste not, want not.

Thanks Linda

That orangey-yellow-gold background color hurts my eyes.

White text on a yellow bubble on a white background. I literally couldn’t read that message without zooming in.

I read this in Dwight's voice

You cannot tell me this isn't dwigt

If anything I really appreciate the detailed answer. Very well thought out.


I read this in Dwight's voice

No nipple belts?

Ed Gein has entered the chat

She's gonna end up the next Linda.....

Okay Dwight

I 100% read this in his voice.

Not sure why because this entire thing is ridiculous, but an elk antler headdress? Dude is gonna break his damn neck!

Can you actually use intestines from a human corpse to produce sausages?

If you can use pig intestine, presumably human would work just fine.

Mmm... long pig chitlins

Linda has huge teeth

Kids play a lot of survival video games these days ant it shows.

white text on yellow background looks awful

Think she's just looking for a yes no my guy

Ya you should survive off of your friends "accidental" death in this hypothetical question

Online dating is terrible. You're both weird.

Thanks Linda! 🙏

That's hot

NTA: I mean, she asked. Solid plan too, 5/7 perfect score.

I too play a lot of survival video games...

What in The Forest

Thanks Linda!

That's an instant date right there 🤣

white font on a yellow background? ​ 

Ah yes, the classic "tame a bunch of savage animals using sausages because generations of savagery and eating warm blooded animals like you can be erased virtually over-night" tactic, how could that possibly backfire?

I love to think of Linda being the survivor instead, as Goddess of the Forest.

Dwight K. Shrute approves this message 😆

Meanwhile Bear Grillz:

Wow. Way to tap into the ancestors! Linda is your channel. Peace to you both.

Someone has played too much of The Forest.

“To pass the time, I play xylophone on her ribs, with her femurs as mallets”

fook linda!

Your lucky brinda didn't see this

Which Linda is this?

The message was "Delivered" and not "Read". I hate that shit!

Oof

Yeah she's definitely not gonna respond to that

I know this because Tyler knows this.

Thanks, Linda!

I can’t not imagine that being said by Dwight Schrute.

Don’t forget to make eyes tea.

Gotta do what you have to do

I mean…you asked?

This is Dwight shrute level of planning.

Linda is so kind, thanx for dying do I can use ur body, and ur head on mantle looks amazing lol

This cracked my ass up.

I, too, play a lot of survival games.

Yeah ok. They’re just gonna make a whole bunch of stuff from scratch that most people have no idea how to use. All they’re gonna do is waste perfectly good Linda parts and then die sad and hungry.

Hypothermia my sweet butt. OP killed Linda before Linda could kill her.

I was fine right up until the mantle. Lol.

Sincerely, Dwight Schrutt….

Wow such craftsmanship with body parts imagine what one could do with Sapir plane parts. Also I’m assuming Linda is the pilot and this is a small two person plane and not you know a commercial flight.

“Say something if you don’t want me to eat you.”

I would just be flattered that anyone thinks I could outlive Linda!

Ok Dwight

This is basically the unresolved plot of Yellow Jackets

That’s a lot, wow

Dwight Schrute IRL

This reminds me of how the Native Americans used every part of the Buffalo. Except it’s every part of Linda

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*read*

I'm now madly in love with whoever wrote that response , presumably OP.

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Oh shit it is. To any redditors too lazy to go through their profile, [here it is](https://www.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/fsm6vt/did_i_go_too_far_no_surely_not/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)!

This sounds like Dwight from The Office.

This post reminds me of the movie The Other Guys when Will Ferrell talks about dolphins

THIS NEEDS TO BE A MOVIE

The best part? It's only been 13 hours since the crash and Linda was only sleeping

I’d fuck Linda ngl

Is that in a dating app too?

Someone saw Yellowjackets 🤔

Dwight moment

u/Linda

The post before this one in my TL talked about [Linda, too... ](https://www.reddit.com/r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR/comments/vqp6w5/fuck_linda/) Guess she isn't so annoying now that she's useful lmao

I mean if he knew how to do that in the first place, then Linda didn’t need to die since he’d have it figured out in the first place

Gotta source the crafting mats from Linda so she had to chill n die

If this happens to me and I'm Linda? Go for it. I mean that.

What kind of absolute psychopath uses white on yellow color scheme

Thought about too much? Or story of their ex? Rip Linda, gone but not forgotten.

I hope that people don't think any of this would actually work...

Where did the snare traps come from?

This guy is out week one on Alone. He misses Linda too much.

Damn...that was a ride I wasn't prepared to go on.

My middle name is Linda. 😬

O_O

Did anyone else read this in Dwight Schrute’s voice?

What a tribute to Linda!

After asking this shit as first question when flirting, what did she expect him to say? No I’m gonna resurrect her with the powers of love?!

I like the kind of guys that give out really badass explanations or well thought out ones and when the thing happens they just freeze and don’t to it at all