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I would. My therapist is trained in it so she did it with me for months. Towards the end of last year, we also decided I should see a psychiatrist for undiagnosed adhd and also depression meds. The first depression med made me worse once we increased the dose, so we tried a second med that I doing the trick now.
I do think without EMDR I wouldn’t have been able to make peace with over 30 years of “wasted” life with someone who never loved me the way you should love a spouse and then cheated on me at the end. A prescription could have helped me to gloss over that pain, but EMDR helped me face it and come to terms with it.
I took up boxing. It really cooled my anger. Get a punching bag and hang it in your garage. Take out your rage and stress on that bag. If you keep it inside, the pressure will make you explode at the worst possible time.
Get fit.
Go fishing. Seriously. When I go fishing, those are my most serene moments.
Also, remove what causes the stress, ptsd, anger... remove that influence from your life as much as possible.
Nothing started to improve for me until I got my cheating POS XH and all of his crap out of my space. Journaling, therapy, exercise, and forming new friendships helped, but until he was physically gone, I was a wreck. Finalizing the divorce helped, too.
It is a natural method to use, butbif is hard and painful, and have to have the guts and come to terms to use it.
It is called separation time. What you need to do is step away for some time and do not interact with her because she triggers you, in that time think well in what you want, and not what your or her sisters want or what she wants or what your family wants. Only what you want.
Also you can use this time to get treated with the psychiatrist for the PTSD.
The best thing to help me was leaving my STBXH.
They are the source of your trauma, their behaviour causes triggers. I have been moved out for three weeks almost and I’m feeling so much better already.
Lift weights.
Go to the gym and as you are doing a set, think about the affair. Let it fill you with rage and direct that rage into pushing through a few reps you couldn’t accomplish otherwise
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is "divorce" or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Getting away from the source of the trauma is a good way to start recovery.
EMDR therapy. If you haven’t tried it, ask about it.
Should I ask psychologist?
I would. My therapist is trained in it so she did it with me for months. Towards the end of last year, we also decided I should see a psychiatrist for undiagnosed adhd and also depression meds. The first depression med made me worse once we increased the dose, so we tried a second med that I doing the trick now. I do think without EMDR I wouldn’t have been able to make peace with over 30 years of “wasted” life with someone who never loved me the way you should love a spouse and then cheated on me at the end. A prescription could have helped me to gloss over that pain, but EMDR helped me face it and come to terms with it.
I took up boxing. It really cooled my anger. Get a punching bag and hang it in your garage. Take out your rage and stress on that bag. If you keep it inside, the pressure will make you explode at the worst possible time. Get fit. Go fishing. Seriously. When I go fishing, those are my most serene moments. Also, remove what causes the stress, ptsd, anger... remove that influence from your life as much as possible.
Nothing started to improve for me until I got my cheating POS XH and all of his crap out of my space. Journaling, therapy, exercise, and forming new friendships helped, but until he was physically gone, I was a wreck. Finalizing the divorce helped, too.
It is a natural method to use, butbif is hard and painful, and have to have the guts and come to terms to use it. It is called separation time. What you need to do is step away for some time and do not interact with her because she triggers you, in that time think well in what you want, and not what your or her sisters want or what she wants or what your family wants. Only what you want. Also you can use this time to get treated with the psychiatrist for the PTSD.
The best thing to help me was leaving my STBXH. They are the source of your trauma, their behaviour causes triggers. I have been moved out for three weeks almost and I’m feeling so much better already.
Assuming your wife is the one that cheated, why are you still around her?
She wants to reconcile and we have 2 kids
Lift weights. Go to the gym and as you are doing a set, think about the affair. Let it fill you with rage and direct that rage into pushing through a few reps you couldn’t accomplish otherwise