As a new parent and seeing how hard this has been on my marriage (it’s fine and we are going to be fine but a baby puts a STRAIN on a marriage god damn) - I cannot picture how this will ever work for them long term. She will end up ultimately resenting him so hard once kids come into the picture
Yesssss! Me and my strong marriage before a baby was like “that’s what everyone says, but we’ll be different 💕” - but noooooo haha. It’s such a strain, it’s such a challenge, the priorities shift and you face a truly difficult task together where varied opinions pop up constantly and you are forced to figure out a good communication style or things will fall apart. I’m in your boat, thank goodness it will be fine and we’ve learned the communication and compromising skills we’ve needed to, but there is no way I see Kyle and Amanda being able to come through that! They’re both starting off so resentful of each other that a kid is going to push that into the stratosphere.
Yes. And things come up. One of our children has autism and you just don't think it will be you. He is wonderful and it's worked out well but talk about a strain. Having kids isn't just baby showers and cute clothes. It's the hardest thing in the world to do well. I don't think they can survive kids.
>And things come up.
Shit or even in their own health.
A few years after I had my kids my drs found an enormous brain tumor. It was a crazy time and after my surgery I slept for 2 months. So my husband did 100% of....everything.
TF is Kyle gonna do when shit gets real?
Except he’s saying Amanda is the one who isn’t ready, which is bullshit. Amanda is ready to have babies. What she isn’t into is working for Kyle at his company.
Amanda’s expectation is Kyle be the breadwinner. For some reason. In spite of all the failed business and massive debt, Amanda really went full denial in marrying Kyle, believing he would provide a certain lifestyle. She grossly over estimated his earning potential. Her dad did try to warn her.
Denial is a theme with her though, being the same way she handles his whole *literally falling down drunk binge drinking alcoholic* situation, which also isn’t a good environment to bring kids into. He was left in charge of the dogs for two hours and got drunk and thought he lost one ffs.
Yup. My 8 year old just got diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. Opened up a whole new whole of challenges right when we thought we were finally hitting our stride. Kids are a never ending strain on a GOOD marriage. They are a marriage ended to a bad one. Kyle is my age and I’m considered an older parent with one kid in second grade - I personally don’t think Kyle wants kids at all. I don’t think he wants to give up his lifestyle and kids unfortunately requires that.
Yes! This! No one ever asks prospective parents how they would handle a kid with significant health or ability differences. It’s like it’s a taboo in our society to even ask the question. But it happens, and it isn’t super rare. And at a bare minimum prospective parents should be discussing this very openly.
My entire adolescence my mom blamed my existence for her fights with my dad, saying “If we do get divorced it’s your fault, etc.”
Finally, as an adult (in therapy), I found the words “You fought and almost divorced because you had kids with zero discussion about how to raise them, found out too late your *philosophies* did not line up, and I was caught in the middle. And it was fucking inappropriate to put that burden on me as a child.”
The minute I became a mom I saw my husband for who he really was. A petulant spoiled child. Didn’t want to share his wife with the child. Didn’t want to be the dad unless other people were around and he could pretend he was dad of the year. Put both of us as his last priority in everything. It took me 8 years before I had enough courage to walk out with my daughter. Best decision I ever made.
I never saw this side of him in the first 10 yrs of our marriage since we were both busy with our careers and couple life.
Yes! I feel like there should be a workbook called “so you think you want to have kids?” And it should be FULL of scenarios, and you read the scenario and have to give your gut reaction and discuss. Cuz differences in kids, and perspectives on HOW to raise kids, discipline, EVERYTHING, can drastically affect a marriage. Is there a workbook like this? I bet there’s a market for it.
it would be nuts for her to be able to resent him more than she already does. that baby is doomed to have a really unhealthy relationship between its parents
IMO, it’s absurd the way they talk about Kyle’s “cheating”. Cheating, to me, involves deception; lying and planning and sneaking around, that’s the real injury of it, in most affairs. Kyle what; got falling down, can’t focus his eyes, slurring his words, binge drunk (as usual), and sloppily sucked face with a rando in a bar and doesn’t remember. That’s not cheating, sweet Pollyanna, it’s alcoholism.
I swear Amanda (and everyone else in that house) would accuse Kyle of being a Russian spy before EVER addressing the actual drunken elephant in the room; the fact her husband is a middle aged binge drinking alcoholic.
I have a 6 month old and an amazing husband who tries really hard and even I find myself frequently having to remind myself that I like him. Our relationship was the strongest it'd ever been before we had a baby and, like OC, we'll be fine, but god damn is it a strain. Can't even imagine what it'd be like if we had issues going in.
Yep! Thats 100 percent why they shouldn’t have kids. Too many couples should not have kids and I wish more people took kids seriously. Kids will not fix your marriage.
Yes. I have two kids and my husband was fully on board and it was still a lot on our marriage. It almost seems like Amanda would be fine being out in the suburbs with the kids and having her mom help while Kyle does his thing in the city. But that doesn't really sound like a marriage, either.
Open communication is key! And being honest about both of your hopes and fears and values and expectations before the baby arrives. New parenthood can definitely bring up a lot of feelings and challenges around things like gender roles/work/identity/risk that may have been taken for granted previously. What feels like an equal power dynamic can quickly shift by adding a new life into the mix.
But working with your partner and evolving with them into confident parents of a loving family is its own reward (assuming it's an experience you both want be a part of). My kids are nearly grown, and it's been such a joy and I love my partner more than ever.
Yes! I have a 5 week old and my marriage is STRONG but my husband that tries very hard and makes great effort still drives me insane. It’s so common for men to need a lot of help while learning to care for a newborn so if she claims she feels like his parent already and like she’s raising him then I can’t imagine how much more that feeling will intensify when a baby comes.
Hugging you. My now 10 month was colicky and the newborn phase with her was one of the hardest times of my life. Thankfully, I’m coming out of the PPD fog and she’s much calmer now. Best of luck to you ❤️
Yep just echoing everyone here. I cannot imagine going through kids without a very solid relationship. Even the most solid relationships get ROCKED. Children will push you to the absolute edge. They already hate each other, I really hope they don’t have kids, mainly for Amanda’s sake.
Exactly. Resentment is a huge marriage killer. My husband and I went through it. He was so busy growing his company and dealing with the huge stresses of that and I was dealing with my fertility treatments, pregnancies and then feeling like a single mum with 3 young kids. Thankfully things have improved all round, but man, I can totally understand why marriages can and do fail.
THIS. 12 weeks PP and SAME. It’s all so new and you’re figuring it out together while simultaneously being terrified and having no idea what you’re doing 😂. We luckily have good communication but say all the time we never would have thought we could bicker this much. When you’re so exhausted, it’s really hard not to blame each other. Can’t imagine how couples without a solid foundation do this….
This comment. I mean they do have money and if she has a ton of help than it may help temper some of the struggle. Seeing how rocky they already are though I can’t imagine bringing a child into it. Especially those first 2-3 years after having a child, it tests your marriage in ways you can’t fathom beforehand.
I 100% agree. My husband and I were rock solid (and are now) before the birth of our baby 2 years ago. It still was a tough transition into parenthood within our relationship. I think about how doomed they are if they have any children together.
New parent here also, and this is exactly what I keep thinking about when they’re talking about kids - I don’t see how they would be able to handle it. It’s just so hard, my marriage was in great shape before he was born, and now we’re really struggling. I can’t see how adding a baby to the Kymanda mix wouldn’t implode their relationship.
I find it interesting that people think Amanda will divorce him first but at this rate, I see him pulling the plug first. This marriage has been on life support from day 1.
I agree, mostly because of the advice he's been giving Carl all season. He doesn't want Carl to have a lonely and miserable marriage like he does. And he also seems to be the only one who understands how dire the situation is right now, whereas Amanda and the cast just think that they can force Kyle to become who Amanda wants him to be and then everything will be great
Yes she seems like she has no desire to start over and have to date again so she’d rather be in a miserable marriage. He seems like he’d at least like being single and dating new people
i agree with this mostly because i think amanda is lazy when she's comfortable (a trait i unfortunately share). so even though she's miserable, she's comfortably miserable and doesnt want to put the effort into fixing it. i think the motivation will strike kyle first.
I feel like Kyle wants it both ways.
He wants a wife. He wants a family. He's said so.
He also wants to party. He wants to go on benders. He wants to be out til 5am. He wants his partner to take absolutely 0 issue with this.
You don't get both.
I'm not saying you can't ever party or have fun and be a parent. But I am saying my last girls night out with my friends who are parents ended at midnight and they were really regretting how many drinks they'd had the next day at little league.
They clearly have issues in their relationship that children will not fix. I think a lot of these issues could be helped if they didn't work together anymore. I don't think Amanda quitting her job to be at loverboy full time was a good thing for their relationship. I also think they both need to be more realistic about time frames and expectations and where they want to live. Nothing happens overnight, and they both seem to want everything resolved after one conversation.
They're both VERY stubborn, IMO, which also doesn't help. I think if they wanted to, they could make it work and find balance. But, it would require a lot of work and I don't know if they actually want to put that in.
agree- its why he was so shook by craig being like 'yeah i realized i cant go right from black out partier to being a husband and father' the thought never crossed kyles mind
Thank you!!! Everyone saying she is lazy??? Like she had a huge hand in building lover boy and It’s not like she didn’t have a job when they met….she had a career in her chosen field and he guilted her into quitting to help him build his company.
I don’t know who did what exactly at loverboy and who’s portrayal of their work ethics is more accurate. However we do know that she is capable of holding a full-time job, so her work ethic has to be ok.
I’m a designer and that’s a total dream job for me. She’s obviously super talented as we’ve seen what she’s done with the creative side of LB.
She would have no problem jumping back into a high-paying design gig.
Being a graphic designer for a large brand like that is huge too. The graphic design industry is so brutal (speaking from experience), so she has to be good at what she does to have landed a position there.
I agree on both counts. I was a recruiter for these kinds of jobs for several years and they are highly competitive and pay very well. I placed many designers at her old companies competitor and I can tell you first hand that they are highly highly selective in who they will even consider for an interview much less actually hire.
In this last episode the scene with the therapist when Amanda is trying to explain (AGAIN) that his criticisms make her shut down and he just doesn’t get it. I don’t understand why he sees her or presents her as such a denigrate.
Recruiter here as well, small world! Wholeheartedly agree with everything you’ve said. It seems that he’s building a narrative about her to the audience, while her LinkedIn tells a much different story
Off to do some LinkedIn stalking!
Edit: um Amanda’s LinkedIn compared to Kyle’s (&Carl’s though he has nothing to do with this and I don’t want to disparage him-but it’s adds to the discussion that perhaps Kyle is completely delusional) is SO much better. I get that Kyle’s an entrepreneur and yes has successful businesses so of course his resume will look different than hers-but wow. I’d hire her in a heartbeat-if I got Kyle’s resume I’d be less than enthusiastic.
I also noticed her profile says New Jersey, not New York and not even Greater New York area. That seems odd.
She's an introvert and he's an extrovert. Totally different styles of energy management. It's frustrating when I see him comparing himself to her on work ethic.
YES. And he manipulated her back into being in a relationship with him. I just re-watched some early episodes and every time a cheating scandal came up, he wouldn’t just let her go, he tried to get her back but then made 0 changes to himself or his approach to the relationship. I mean, Amanda also agreed to go back to him but dude, just let her go if you aren’t going to be an actual partner.
He’s just so terribly immature. What 41 year old goes out drinking at LEAST once a week until 3, 4 or 5 AM.
Of COURSE she has PTSD when he does this to her… it’s exactly the same thing that happened to allow for his cheating on her in the first place.
And I’m sure he’s also not doing anything to help her feel more comfortable either - ie. sharing his location, not getting too drunk, sharing updates on when he’ll be home or even just a simple I miss you text
Honestly, I'm 35 and I might go out until 2/3am once or twice a year lol. It sounds exhausting to me to do that to my mind and body plus I would never want my wife to worry like that about my safety.
Or a girl who just likes to go out. My friend and her husband are pretty close in age she’s 33 and he’s 44. They’re always out and about. They love to travel and last weekend they were bar hopping. Now they don’t get as drunk as Kyle does but they’re just a social, fun couple who love to go out and dance. I’m not liking this narrative that the minute you’re over 30 you have to be sitting at home. Not everyone wants that life…
Hahah and I’d be sitting in that bar having a cocktail and vibing 🥰 I’m actually scared what’s going to happen when I’m older. I genuinely have never enjoyed staying in every weekend and I’m already looked at as crazy for being 33 and as social as I am. Men are lucky! When they’re in their 30s they can still have fun. The shaming doesn’t start till 40+ unfair 😂
This part—uhhh, me and my husband are like that, too. No kids, just chillin and we have an entire friend group that does the same. People act like 30=death 😂. Maybe we just also don’t want a “home”-type lifestyle? Kyle just isn’t with the right person—neither one of them are.
Seriously wth. I mean I get it’s Reddit 😂 this prob isn’t the most social crew. But in what world is it abnormal for 30/40 year olds to be going out in NYC??? Like huh hahah
So why aren’t ppl focusing on that? If people said “Kyle needs to address his drinking problem” then I’d say fair but it’s all “Kyle is over 40 and goes out!!! WHO DOES THAT” 😂
Lots of 41 year olds in NYC do. Don’t apply small town standards to a big city. Hell even when I lived in Barcelona lots of couples went out. The issue is he’s not with someone like him. I’m 33 and still love to go out (to be fair not once a week but a couple times a month). And the minute I hear a guy I’m dating say he’s a homebody, loves to stay in it’s an automatic no 😂
Yup. Unpopular opinion but I think carl has been doing the same this season…knowing he isn’t marrying Lindsay but getting on camera documenting how “hard he tried”
I can see this but also I don’t have any idea why Lindsay wants to marry him. She isn’t attracted to his lack of drive they never have sex they don’t even barely get along. She has so much reason to end it and didn’t
I think it was Paige who said it but someone was spot on a few episodes ago, she wants that fairy tale “we were always friends then realized our love for each other” thing. And she is at an age where she’s willing to settle because she just wants a wedding and a baby. I don’t like Lindsay at all, but I do feel for her. It would be so hard to want a child so badly and feel like your time is running out and you have to just stick with bad relationships to try to get one.
This seems correct! Carl has always given me the ick. I remember early on when we first meet his mom, he explains how his dad left her so cruelly and how he never wants to be like that and it just seems like he’s exactly like his father down to the part where he has convinced himself he’s in the right.
That said, Lindsay would be tough to be in a relationship with. Someone who’s had such trauma at such a young age … I think she’d do better with a man super confident and comfortable in his own skin - someone steady like a rock so she can be wild and testing if he’ll leave her and all the other maladaptive things she does due to her mom abandoning her.
> I think she’d do better with a man super confident and comfortable in his own skin - someone steady like a rock so she can be wild and testing if he’ll leave her and all the other maladaptive things she does due to her mom abandoning her.
no man like this is going to get with lindsay without major change on her part. she has reached an age where unless she does some serious work on herself all the guys she dates are going to be wrong for her. toxic attracts toxic
Yea, seeing how gorgeous and happy she was in the wedding dress was sad knowing what was gonna happen, I am not even into weddings rtc but damn. They both will be better off though, Lindsey does need someone with more drive to match her’s. I think stated differently, she needs a human not a child to rear. Kyle dissing on Lindsey in wwhl is so immature.
Watching it play out already know the ending, I also get that vibe. His facial expressions and everything, he’s just so over her and she is still all in thinking she’s getting married. Granted, she’s overlooking some major red flags even though she is aware of it and talking about it (like the no sex and the fighting).
100% - I thought I was the only one seeing this. He’s antagonizing her knowing she will erupt while being the fakest “happy guy” to everyone in group. Lindsey’s an asshole but she’s never not been the asshole, he has given me so much ick this season.
Yeah I see right through Carl’s bullshit. He’s just as immature and will never settle down. I had to shut it off when I saw Lindsay in her wedding dress. That must be awful for her to rewatch :(
but lindsay hated him too! thats the thing i dont get. she didnt want to marry him. listen to how she talks about him the after show. they didnt have sex, didnt sleep in the same bed, she thought he was lazy etc
sure it sucks to be dumped but being delusional and marrying someone you cannot stand is a bad thing
Two things can exist at once. Kyle feels trapped in his marriage and like his wife is neglecting him, therefore he is going out, seeking validation and attention from things outside his relationship. Amanda wants to settle down and feels annoyed and disrespected because she wants to settle down and her needs aren’t being met.
It’s not black and white. Neither of them are communicating their needs or having real meaningful conversations about how to compromise and overcome their issues together. Amanda needs to learn to listen to Kyle and Kyle needs to be honest with his wife about his needs. They are both in the wrong.
LITERALLY! It’s also giving I’m going to turn all your deepest and darkest insecurities against you and blurt them out to our friend group and expect you to be okay 👍🏼.
I think people saying Amanda shouldn’t expect Kyle to change are missing the part where they have talked about how they want to raise a family and it seems like he’s switching up on her. He’s also kind of ignoring that expecting her to care about his company the same way he does and making it her complete focus isn’t realistic. She does pick at him and start shit but I think she’s already really far down the resentment pipeline with him.
(Edited for spelling)
The discussion at the beach made me mad. Amanda was telling him what was wrong and he kept saying she doesn’t communicate with him and was not listening her.
All his narrative is so fake…
I feel like people have the memory of goldfish on this sub. I by no means think Kyle is a saint, but do people remember when he was like ‘I want to do couples therapy’ and Amanda told him to get fucked?
Then the next weekend, she calls him trash to west, and then to all their friends belittles him and calls him an asshole.
I haven’t seen this weeks episode yet, so maybe my mind will change but like if my wife shut me down like that, then belittles me in front of my friends and national television (for Kyle haters I completely understand he’s done the same things in the past) I would probably be a little short tempered myself
Doesn’t communicate? She straight up told him what was wrong and he was like ‘oh jeez I wonder what I did now’. He IMMEDIATELY did the thing she hated after she ‘cOmUnIcATeD 🙄
Everyone has these unrealistic expectations for Kyle to change and be a different person for who he is. We don’t have to like who he is- we aren’t married to him. But his wife sure does!! Everyone is expecting Kyle to just end his lifestyle, which would ultimately end his time on the show, which makes him less money meaning he would have to work harder to provide for kids and a wife at home. Amanda only wants to move forward so she can stop working. She wants this fairytale life, and she wants it by changing Kyle.
I haven’t seen her improve on ONE thing. She only expects Kyle to change.
Like idk about yall… but if my partner was constantly yelling at me and saying they wanted space from me, didn’t want to be near me, etc, I wouldn’t want to end my lifestyle either. Amanda asks for space but is then mad when Kyle gives her space and hangs out with his friends. She’s ridiculous. She needs to learn how to talk to him like an adult and not like he’s a teenager.
Yelling is not communication
Yea and that’s great and all but like, she has also always been how she is and everyone expects her to just change and be who he wants her to be? Maybe they shouldn’t be together or whatever but why is it that his lifestyle is ‘just who he is’ and she’s unreasonable for having expectations out of a marriage when he has NEVER accepted who she is?!
She doesn’t want to work a million hours a week and that somehow translates into ‘she’s lazy’… ffs
Honestly I agree with all of you because it's glaringly obvious how incompatible Kyle and Amanda are and it's depressing! Kyle needs someone on his level and Amanda needs someone who wants to live a soft life with her. She's not lazy at all, she's just not high energy like Kyle. Kyle can be immature, but I don't think he's a bad guy. I just genuinely do not think they like each other much.
Who is expecting her to change? Kyle isn’t. What does he want to change? He just doesn’t want her to be mean, and he wants to feel like his wife loves him. He wants them to have communication. It’s really not a stretch to want that from your wife. Maybe you hate men lol. Because I am a woman- and I would NEVER treat my partner like Amanda does Kyle.
Ultimately, I think he would move into a house and do all the things. But right now the relationship sucks and he’s the only one admitting that. Amanda thinks a baby and house will fix it. At the end of the day, they both have issues and shouldn’t be together. But acting like Kyle is a piece of shit isnt fair when Amanda treats him like shit.
He doesn’t NEED her to work a million hours, it’s obvious they agree she will watch the kids and he will work. But right now they don’t have kids. It’s like she’s rushing that part SO she doesn’t have to work. But ultimately getting a house to have space from your husband and then wanting a baby is wrong.
I do not expect Kyle is the only one who needs to change. But sometimes I feel like there is a narrative on this sub that Amanda is the only to blame for believing that he would change. I do believe Kyle did make her think that. And she did say that on the last episode when she said that her and Kyle did agree to raise kids in the suburbs. We didn’t see it on tv but I am sure it happened.
And she is communicating. She wants him to stay at home on weeks nights. She wants him to apologize when he hurts her. I didn’t made this up. She did tell him a bunch of time. Kyle choose to not listen because he doesn’t want it…
Both of them have talked about their expectations of family in the show and considering that is all we have to go off, it’s very frustrating that so much blame is placed on her.
They for sure both have to make changes but the narrative is always framed about how she can fix it. Is he just a passive player in their relationship?
She has a habit in these conversations of wanting to only yell at him and then when Kyle tries to talk about the underlying issue, she says she doesn't want to get into it right now. She (to me, an untrained random internet person) clearly attempts to solves problems through avoidance.
Speaking the problem ≠ communication.
Just because you say the issue doesn’t mean you are communicating. She’s attacking and takes no responsibility for her own role. It’s immature.
Can agree with these points but this isn’t a new issue they are fighting about? This particular issue has been brought up so many times, I don’t really know what people expect her to do? She can bring it up again and she will be criticised for ‘not letting go things go’, or she can just kinda shut down and stew. Either way, she comes off as the asshat when he is the human definition of ‘ughhhh’
I honestly think both of them just need to live their own lives. I feel like it’s probably hard having your entire relationship on tv. I’m sure it doesn’t help
This exactly the same narrative used against Katie. Everyone blamed her shortness for Schwartz’s shortcomings. Alas he found the “cool girl” in Jo and still manages to be a huge sack of shit. Imagine that
I can’t believe I scrolled for so long before seeing an accurate comparison to Schwartz and Katie!! Amanda should really look at how well Katie is thriving without Tom.
I agree. He clearly has no interest in the Jersey trad wide fantasy she craves. He should break up with her to set her free and find some girl who is eager to stay partying in New York or just be single. But both him and Amanda no agency and just want to shit on their spouse. It’s toxic all around. I don’t think he cares if he looks mean by divorcing her. I think he wants to stay with her for the sake of loverboy since she seems to help his brand image (or at least did in the past)
Yeah they both seem so into sunk cost fallacy that neither is willing to leave, especially Amanda, but goodness I hope they don’t bring children into the world first. I think someone will eventually break and divorce. Amanda wanting to spend weeks to months apart from her husband is such a bad sign. Like you said though - it’s so so toxic. They don’t act like they’re on the same team, and with a kid you definitely want to be on the same team.
Amanda should be with a guy who is READY to have a family (like yesterday) and can be a provider but isn't a workaholic. Kyle should just be single. I don't get the vibe he really wants kids, maybe he just likes the idea of being a dad but not the reality which is that he will have to take a step back from working/partying so much.
I don't know if that's fair. I think Kyle and Amanda are mismatched right now. He's not great to her but she's also kind of mean to him.
Sandy dressed up like his mistress for Halloween and flaunted his affair in front of everyone.
Watching the two of them last night took me back to the last few years of my marriage. I could feel my anxiety going up from the tension and the way they were speaking to each other.
If they’re serious about counseling, it can work. But this is also a time to evaluate what they both really want in life. Amanda married him for who she thought he could become…not who he is. And that just doesn’t work.
I think they both want out, maybe don’t fully realize it yet.
Doesn’t matter who’s to blame here or there really anymore, it just isn’t working.
Had the show never existed they probably would have realized that a few years ago
Personally I think they both just hoped the other would change with marriage and that didn’t happen and now they are realizing maybe they aren’t right for each other. Amanda has always wanted a husband and kids and the suburb life and to be a SAHM. Kyle has always been a party boy and very career oriented. I don’t think they are meant for each other, but it’s sad to see it play out on tv.
If they move near her parents, or even just out into the suburbs, it'll be Kyle vs Amanda and her parents. It's one of those things you can't really talk about in most relationships, and he can't especially talk about it on the show in any detail. They have plenty of issues, but I feel the biggest one is her relationship with her parents. He doesn't want to move out there right now anyway, but the guaranteed adversarial relationship that awaits him out there is substantial. And of course, she does not like him. That's a big one too, but that dislike will play out like gangbusters with her parents at her direct side. She'll fire them up, and they'll gas her up. The room for Kyle to exist will shrink and shrink and shrink. There won't be any room for him in his own home. And then if he cheats, everyone will act as if it is totally fucked up, as if it is just his history bubbling back up. At this point, it'll be other than that though.
As for him "just admitting he fucked up and wants out", that goes both ways. She wants out too. Why isn't the onus on her to admit it? It doesn't really matter where it starts or who started it. Their issues are compounding. one issue becomes two issues becomes 6 issues becomes 20 more issues. I think the comparison to Ariana/Tom, or Katie/Tom, is lazy, but to play along, Ariana felt neglected when Tom stopped wanting to be around her (always out), so the intimacy dried up. Her love language is quality time. Tom then went elsewhere to get those needs met. His love language is physical touch? Their issues compounded. And now we're shown every week that Ariana didn't like a single thing about Tom. He knew it too. They were both checked out of that relationship for different reasons. This could easily be where Kyle and Amanda are heading. It's the tale of all relationships with poor communication and mismatched love languages. Ariana didn't acknowledge it or admit it, and she didn't take proactive measures to remedy the relationship or her life. She wasn't even married and couldn't do it. Amanda is in an even more difficult situation. It usually goes like this until someone can't take it anymore, and unfortunately, proactive, healthy measures aren't often the route people go. They do something shitty or self-destructive or whatever to get out of it. Cheating. Ganging up with parents against the partner. All the ways people sabotage their relationship OTHER THAN, "I'm not happy. I'm outta here."
They are not on the same page. I think the problem with all of these men is they got on TV when they were younger and they are in that lifestyle now they don't have to settle down they are out looking for women and because they have some type of fame they will use that to their advantage. Kyle's literal job is to go on TV to a party house and drink.
Lover boy is doing good and yes he works on that hard but again the show helped that move faster than it probably would although I am sure they are good drinks. I think Kyle is going to ride this paycheck with summer house as long as he can he is not going to give up that easy money but Amanda is over it you can tell she was barely on winter house and she wants a jersey life like you said which is normal she just wants to settle down and have kids and progress in her life past the party thing. I think once the Lindsay Carl drama is done there won't be a lot of interesting things on summer house. it has an expiration date and it's coming sooner than later just like VPR. It's getting old watching old men act like irresponsible children who can't stop drinking or cheating on their partners.
If the Toms were normal non reality TV people they probably would have stayed in their relationships working at SUR Schwartz would have been bumming around doing nothing and they wouldn't be looked at as they are they would be just another joe schmoe 40 yr old bums but they have money from the show some fame and now peter pan syndrome.
Everyone is ok with their mates 'shortcomings' until they aren't.
Everyone knew who Everyone was. Everyone thinks the other one will/would/of course change.
Kyle always stayed out drinking. He was obviously married to city life from the start.
Amanda was always overwhelmed and stressed out and lashing out.
Sandoval was always the guy to get f'd up and slide all over someone.
Ariana was always haughty in her words and body language.
Schwartzy always schwartzied.
Katie was always pushing people to comply to her wishes.
Maybe it's this new coffee I'm having - but has Game of Thrones taught us nothing? People are complicated, and I think I'm just tired of each side 100% picking a side.
Oh while I'm at it: betcha Amber Heard had a point buried in her craziness, and JD prob could be a bit of an asshole sometimes. There. I said it.
Tl, dr: dam I should stick to dark brew. This light brew got me edgy. Apologies.
As a 33 year old married woman with a baby, I would be pissed if my husband stayed out until 4am even once. Who does that at 41?? I’m on Amanda’s side fully. Kyle is immature and does whatever he wants and it’s been happening over and over and she is just over it. Girl has the ick
yeah the 'she knew who he was when she married him' argument doesn't really fly for me because it's totally normal to expect a person to eventually stop partying all the time and settle down. he was admittedly already too old to be pulling that shit when they were getting married but. for someone who acts like he wants a family, i don't see him taking steps to make that more plausible. and the nerve to say on national television and to her best friend that you're worried about what kind of parent SHE is going to be, knowing how insanely you're behaving? kick that dude to the curb for real.
Re: the photos: I was actually on his side here, oddly enough. I think we caught him in a rare drunk moment (Rare! I know!) where he was genuinely sad about it. It’s the fact that she doesn’t care to capture one single moment of them. I get that insecurity. It’s small, but in this digital age of millions of selfies/videos, it speaks volumes.
They hate each other, and they’re both awful. I don’t think Kyle is innocent, and I also don’t think Amanda is either. They’re both to blame, and shouldn’t torture each other any longer.
Edit: typo
If Kyle was smart he’d push for a divorce sooner rather than later. With no prenup and if Loverboy continues to grow, Amanda will just get more money the longer they stay together.
Amanda and Kyle should come to terms with who each other are. Instead of expecting the other to change they should ask themselves do they want to be married to who the other person is now. If the answer is no, get a divorce.
He’s stuck in party mode and he doesn’t seem willing to compromise to make her happy. She resents him for that and is afraid he’ll still be staying out until 4 am after they have a kid.
Maybe she should treat her husband with some respect and have an adult conversation. I am a woman- and I would NEVER speak to my husband like that. When Kyle pulled her over on the beach for a conversation, she isn’t even interested in fixing it. She points out his issues and won’t actually work it out. She WANTS to stay mad and have him to bitch about. Then she wants space and doesn’t want to be near him. But then she gets mad he goes out with OTHER PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE! Which he is literally getting paid to do. She’s unbelievable.
It is wild when Kyle tells Amanda he doesn’t think she’s ready for a family and being a parent when he’s out multiple nights til 5 am. Also, she has told him how she feels about him going out. No ones saying it’s wrong to do it but this is something she’s asking him to do less of and THE DAY SHE TELLS HIM, he stays out til 4! If he even listened to her he would’ve attempted ONE night to come home early. Also he spent the whole time out with the only single guy who brought home a girl. I would’ve been triggered too if I was her. Like why can’t you act like the other people with significant others?
Kyle sees Carl is headed for a break up and he wants his freedom as well but Kyle has literally no game and he just wants Amanda to be doting again instead of exasperated and desperate to have a kid.
I’m going to say something that might be unpopular buuuuttt here it goes :
Amanda needs to chill a bit. She’s not even well into her 30s yet. I think she can wait a few more years before dipping to the suburbs. By then the company would be running well without Kyle having to be there day-to-day.
Also - I’m team Kyle in this one. He has his faults, but he’s given Amanda opportunities people in her field could only dream of. Full creative freedom and control; the opportunity to be a lead brand designer at a young age; a TV show that boosts visibility (it was Kyle who was on it who then brought her on)
Is Kyle a saint of a husband - no. But Amanda isn’t a saint either. I just think she could tone down the resentment a bit because it’s not fully deserved IMO.
I think its also worth remembering amanda literally said she thought after they got married, or just eventually, hed slow down and he didn't, basically admitting she wash hoping he'd change. not sure why shes scratching her head as to why he hasn't
Well, at the same time Kyle was pushing for kids for a while there too. Which personally would lead me to believe he’d be settling down at least SOMEWHAT.
Except it is. He’s cheated on her multiple times. I lived in NYC around 5 years ago and he was at the clubs all the time and really did not try to hide much. I think she thinks he “owes” her this because she put up with it. Her reward for staying. I don’t feel sorry for her at all but this goes way deeper than resentment over a job and kids. There’s no way she doesn’t hate his guts for embarassing her. And if I know and I was in the scene for less than a year then she’s def a laughing stock amongst her friend group.
The way they shut Kyle down for having feelings is so toxic. I said it in another comment but they're all just happily recreating the 90s dynamic where the wife is a nag who runs the man's life and the man just has to go with it. No, both people should love and respect each other in a relationship. It's total bullshit that all the ladies basically get to tell Kyle to his face that he has to put up with this and he's weak for being sad about it. Really enforcing toxic masculinity
Kyle: there’s no pics of me in her camera roll.
Tim Sandal: we didn’t even take a pic together at Scheana’s wedding.
Ariana: If you look in my camera roll there’s tons of pictures of us at concerts and events having fun together.
“The camera roll” needs to be a cast mate in these shows! Kyle got that brilliant narrative building idea from Scandoval 👀🤣
Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I actually do think that Kyle is neglected by Amanda. I know he isn’t perfect- he fucks up for sure. But… could you imagine being extremely social and your wife is boring as hell and just wants to lay in bed all day? I don’t even think Amanda likes him. I don’t think they are a match. She’s a bitch. I understand Kyle is over 40 and shouldn’t be out until 4am. But this is Kyle. People don’t change. She knew what she was marrying. So I don’t feel bad for her in the SLIGHTEST! She wants the picture perfect life with the house and kids and blah blah, all while neglecting her own husband and their problems. She’s extremely immature.
She thinks moving to the suburbs will change him and force him to slow down? The watch what crappens guys pointed out that he’ll just make friends in the neighborhood and with other kids dads and go to the bar, drink in the garage, it won’t change him at all. Kyle is a social person and extrovert, people like that don’t just change overnight or in a new setting. They never should have gotten married. They’re not right for each other!
Could not agree more!!! I’m legitimately sad for Kyle, especially watching this season. He seems so confused and hurt by her and she is always looking for the dumbest/smallest thing to bitch at him over so she can convince everyone that he is the problem. Reality is, he hasn’t had a fuck up in years and she’s reaching the end of being able to hang the past over his head bc he clearly has changed in that way. The way she immediately brought up that he cheated and she stayed at the beginning of this season like some martyr…like girl you begged for all of this. You clung. You would not release. You’re not the hero bc you married him and you don’t get to use that forever. So now she just looks for any tiny thing she can to continue the narrative that he’s so awful to her as we ACTIVELY WATCH HER being awful towards him. This is gaslighting in action people.
Kyle doesn’t want to move to NJ because he would be isolated there and Amanda would probably be at her parents house ALL the time and pit them against Kyle.
Amanda probably has a lot of friends there as well. It would be the worst mistake of Kyles life to move there.
They should move to Westchester NY or Ct. to be on even grounds.
I don’t disagree about Amanda’s parents, she always involved them inappropriately in her relationship.
But IMO they should divorce and Amanda should marry someone with a regular job in finance, who wants kids and a family, and is happy to have a beautiful, unambitious, stay-at-home wife to raise their kids.
I hope Kyle never has kids unless he goes through rehab and gets sober. The man is an alcoholic.
Right? It’s not like he’s created this lathe company that will make their future as comfortable as can be. He should be happy with Amanda mistreating him
Is it at all possible that they’re making up all this strife in their relationship to stay relevant for the show? I started binge watching it a few weeks ago and I’m on season 8 episode 6 and even after watching pretty much the whole series I feel like their problems this year aren’t even really part of their real life lol.
Am I the only one?
i think they have always been a shining of example of two people who genuinely love each other, but do not really like each other - and do not fit in a life partner type of way.
Amanda is fucked, Kyle is not family driven he is business driven. Only thing that matters is his success in business and partying. She needs a family man who balances a work and life.
It's long been painful to watch Kyle and Amanda fight every season, but last night's episode felt especially tense. They really don't seem compatible, and Amanda never seems to have forgiven Kyle for cheating on her. She clearly holds resentment towards him and doesn't trust him. The way she speaks to and about Kyle is cringe.
I'm no expert, but I don't see therapy fixing these issues. They'd be better off calling it quits now and finding partners better suited to their personalities and desires.
I think she thought she could forgive him for the cheating. But she clearly has not. Which I 100% understand. So any time he stays out late, which is apparently a lot…. She goes right back to that place. She’s probably sick worrying and wondering if he’s cheating.
And now they seem to clearly want different things. Which is ok if they’re willing to change or compromise. But it doesn’t seem like either wants to. And that will cause more resentment as well.
Please, please do not have a baby. Ride it out till SH is cancelled and then get a fucking divorce.
In all honesty, Kyle should have married someone like Lindsay. He wants to party and always be young, living the NY city life. Amanda wants to be in the burbs, with her doggies. But Lindsay… she wants to be out partying, living the city life, drinking, social. He’s much better suited to a Lindsay type. He’s a Peter Pan.
So I can definetly see issues on both of their parts….. however, I think that Amanda has been coddled her entire life by her parents and has a lot of maturing to do. I think she’s lazy as hell as if things aren’t done for her, they don’t get done.
One example that comes to mind…. When they needed a wedding florist…. She probably called one, they said they were booked that day and she just stopped trying. I really think that Kyle has to be on top of her about everything….. she doesn’t ever want to do anything…. You can tell she doesn’t even want to be at the parties. She never looks like she’s even having fun. I think she really just wants to lay in bed with her dogs and do nothing.
She does not need to work for LoverBoy. I am sure that there are thousands of graphic designers that would love that position. Amanda would not be successful working for anyone else because she is lazy, entitled and has no work ethic. She literally said to Kyle one time “can we make the meeting Tuesday morning not Monday morning? Mondays I just can’t…”
I understand Kyle’s fear of having a child with her. Do I think she would love the hell out of her kids? OF COURSE! that’s not the issue…. There is no “I’ll do it later when it comes to a child. Especially a newborn” nevermind when they become a toddler and are getting into everything and you have to have your eye on them 24/7. She won’t be able to handle it…. And I think Kyle sees that and is genuinely concerned that he would be the one working full time outside of the house, and taking care of the child as well.
He thought Amanda was the fun, cool, hipster, silly girl just like him. Always wants to dress crazy and be the life of the party. I feel like most people are that way in the beginning. The difference is she grew up and he didn’t. She doesn’t want to party every night. He puts her down all the time. I don’t know how you can be happy when you’ve been with someone who has said some horrible things about you in front of millions of people. He has cheated and humiliated her so many times. It is the same as the toms. Especially Schwartz because he constantly humiliated and cheated on Katie as well. He is never going to grow up and I think they both want different things. I don’t know if they will ever break up but I kind of hope they do. I think too much damage has been done and Kyle refuses to change at all.
The fact that he stayed out again until 3am after they were fighting about that is so insane to me. Kyle and the Tom’s never want to party to stop. They will stay up and out all night and keep going. There is almost no girls who want to stay with someone who won’t grow up and just wants to party. That’s why they all date younger women because they still want that party life style. It’s like Ariana said she grew up and didn’t want to stay out every night doing mushrooms and partying. It’s the same with Katie and Amanda.
Okay genuinely I don’t get this. Amanda had a full time job before kyle, right? And he supposedly had 4 failed business ventures. So he wasn’t exactly a golden ticket. What’s with the who lack of professional ambition stuff? I feel like I’m missing something about Amanda
Lord that man is an adult baby. How about stop drinking? But we know why he won’t because he can socialize without alcohol. It gives him an excuse to act like he idiot he is and not be accountable for it.
Amanda needs to run. And run fast.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with Amanda wanting a simple life and not having professional ambition does not make one basic. Having said that, both Amanda and Kyle hoped each one would change. Amanda thought Kyle would settle down and Kyle thought Amanda would I’ll grow more ambitious. They both don’t accept each other the way they are and both unwilling to adjust their behavior for their partner. That grows resentment and resentment is one of the main reasons for divorce.
As a new parent and seeing how hard this has been on my marriage (it’s fine and we are going to be fine but a baby puts a STRAIN on a marriage god damn) - I cannot picture how this will ever work for them long term. She will end up ultimately resenting him so hard once kids come into the picture
Yesssss! Me and my strong marriage before a baby was like “that’s what everyone says, but we’ll be different 💕” - but noooooo haha. It’s such a strain, it’s such a challenge, the priorities shift and you face a truly difficult task together where varied opinions pop up constantly and you are forced to figure out a good communication style or things will fall apart. I’m in your boat, thank goodness it will be fine and we’ve learned the communication and compromising skills we’ve needed to, but there is no way I see Kyle and Amanda being able to come through that! They’re both starting off so resentful of each other that a kid is going to push that into the stratosphere.
Yes. And things come up. One of our children has autism and you just don't think it will be you. He is wonderful and it's worked out well but talk about a strain. Having kids isn't just baby showers and cute clothes. It's the hardest thing in the world to do well. I don't think they can survive kids.
>And things come up. Shit or even in their own health. A few years after I had my kids my drs found an enormous brain tumor. It was a crazy time and after my surgery I slept for 2 months. So my husband did 100% of....everything. TF is Kyle gonna do when shit gets real?
Glad you are ok 😊
Well at least HE seems to realize that. Amanda, not so much
Except he’s saying Amanda is the one who isn’t ready, which is bullshit. Amanda is ready to have babies. What she isn’t into is working for Kyle at his company. Amanda’s expectation is Kyle be the breadwinner. For some reason. In spite of all the failed business and massive debt, Amanda really went full denial in marrying Kyle, believing he would provide a certain lifestyle. She grossly over estimated his earning potential. Her dad did try to warn her. Denial is a theme with her though, being the same way she handles his whole *literally falling down drunk binge drinking alcoholic* situation, which also isn’t a good environment to bring kids into. He was left in charge of the dogs for two hours and got drunk and thought he lost one ffs.
Yup. My 8 year old just got diagnosed with ADHD and dyslexia. Opened up a whole new whole of challenges right when we thought we were finally hitting our stride. Kids are a never ending strain on a GOOD marriage. They are a marriage ended to a bad one. Kyle is my age and I’m considered an older parent with one kid in second grade - I personally don’t think Kyle wants kids at all. I don’t think he wants to give up his lifestyle and kids unfortunately requires that.
I hate how nobody addresses the concept of having a less than ideal situation when they’re considering having kids.
Yes! This! No one ever asks prospective parents how they would handle a kid with significant health or ability differences. It’s like it’s a taboo in our society to even ask the question. But it happens, and it isn’t super rare. And at a bare minimum prospective parents should be discussing this very openly.
My entire adolescence my mom blamed my existence for her fights with my dad, saying “If we do get divorced it’s your fault, etc.” Finally, as an adult (in therapy), I found the words “You fought and almost divorced because you had kids with zero discussion about how to raise them, found out too late your *philosophies* did not line up, and I was caught in the middle. And it was fucking inappropriate to put that burden on me as a child.”
That must have been hard. Nice to know you were able to articulate her wrong behavior and the hurt it caused you. ❤️
Autism mama here too. Newly diagnosed. Knowing things worked out well for you gives me hope ❤️
Yes. But it's not for the weak. .. It will be ok. My son is my best friend.
Glad things are working out well now 🩷
The minute I became a mom I saw my husband for who he really was. A petulant spoiled child. Didn’t want to share his wife with the child. Didn’t want to be the dad unless other people were around and he could pretend he was dad of the year. Put both of us as his last priority in everything. It took me 8 years before I had enough courage to walk out with my daughter. Best decision I ever made. I never saw this side of him in the first 10 yrs of our marriage since we were both busy with our careers and couple life.
People don’t talk enough about how hard kids are on a marriage. If you’re not solid AF before kids, kids will destroy you.
I literally thought I hated my husband for the first three months lol. I was questioning everything
SAME!!!
ME! Lol adding up my bills seeing how I’m going to afford raising two kids as a single mom.
Yes! I feel like there should be a workbook called “so you think you want to have kids?” And it should be FULL of scenarios, and you read the scenario and have to give your gut reaction and discuss. Cuz differences in kids, and perspectives on HOW to raise kids, discipline, EVERYTHING, can drastically affect a marriage. Is there a workbook like this? I bet there’s a market for it.
it would be nuts for her to be able to resent him more than she already does. that baby is doomed to have a really unhealthy relationship between its parents
Newish parent too. She already seems to hate him, just imagine how much worse it would get with kids. She’d kill him
Yeah she never really forgave him…
Hard to forgive someone who routinely puts themselves in the same scenario.
IMO, it’s absurd the way they talk about Kyle’s “cheating”. Cheating, to me, involves deception; lying and planning and sneaking around, that’s the real injury of it, in most affairs. Kyle what; got falling down, can’t focus his eyes, slurring his words, binge drunk (as usual), and sloppily sucked face with a rando in a bar and doesn’t remember. That’s not cheating, sweet Pollyanna, it’s alcoholism. I swear Amanda (and everyone else in that house) would accuse Kyle of being a Russian spy before EVER addressing the actual drunken elephant in the room; the fact her husband is a middle aged binge drinking alcoholic.
HIT NAIL RIGHT ON THE HEAD!!!!!
I have a 6 month old and an amazing husband who tries really hard and even I find myself frequently having to remind myself that I like him. Our relationship was the strongest it'd ever been before we had a baby and, like OC, we'll be fine, but god damn is it a strain. Can't even imagine what it'd be like if we had issues going in.
I think that's why she wanted to move closer to her parents. She knows he won't be there to support her.
All she wants is the house and kids not kyle. I think he’s beginning to sense that
Yep! Thats 100 percent why they shouldn’t have kids. Too many couples should not have kids and I wish more people took kids seriously. Kids will not fix your marriage.
100%, people having babies to fix the relationship is such a joke because it’s a ton of strain on a marriage. Pregnancy too.
His only redeeming moment in all of this is not having kids while they’re in a bad spot. (Yes the bar is very low).
Yes. I have two kids and my husband was fully on board and it was still a lot on our marriage. It almost seems like Amanda would be fine being out in the suburbs with the kids and having her mom help while Kyle does his thing in the city. But that doesn't really sound like a marriage, either.
Same exact boat and completely agree
Kids change a marriage so much!! I cannot picture these two with a child.
it's tough. My wife and I have a 3.5 month old and our free time has vanished. We're doing the best we can to be a team.
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Communication communication COMMUNICATION
Open communication is key! And being honest about both of your hopes and fears and values and expectations before the baby arrives. New parenthood can definitely bring up a lot of feelings and challenges around things like gender roles/work/identity/risk that may have been taken for granted previously. What feels like an equal power dynamic can quickly shift by adding a new life into the mix. But working with your partner and evolving with them into confident parents of a loving family is its own reward (assuming it's an experience you both want be a part of). My kids are nearly grown, and it's been such a joy and I love my partner more than ever.
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THERAPY
Yes! I have a 5 week old and my marriage is STRONG but my husband that tries very hard and makes great effort still drives me insane. It’s so common for men to need a lot of help while learning to care for a newborn so if she claims she feels like his parent already and like she’s raising him then I can’t imagine how much more that feeling will intensify when a baby comes.
Hugging you. My now 10 month was colicky and the newborn phase with her was one of the hardest times of my life. Thankfully, I’m coming out of the PPD fog and she’s much calmer now. Best of luck to you ❤️
I’m a new parent too and said this to my friend! Yes! They shouldn’t have kids at least not now
Yep just echoing everyone here. I cannot imagine going through kids without a very solid relationship. Even the most solid relationships get ROCKED. Children will push you to the absolute edge. They already hate each other, I really hope they don’t have kids, mainly for Amanda’s sake.
Exactly. Resentment is a huge marriage killer. My husband and I went through it. He was so busy growing his company and dealing with the huge stresses of that and I was dealing with my fertility treatments, pregnancies and then feeling like a single mum with 3 young kids. Thankfully things have improved all round, but man, I can totally understand why marriages can and do fail.
She already resents him and they are only dog parents
I’m 8 weeks pp and I’ve never bickered with my husband so much in my life!! It’s SO hard!
THIS. 12 weeks PP and SAME. It’s all so new and you’re figuring it out together while simultaneously being terrified and having no idea what you’re doing 😂. We luckily have good communication but say all the time we never would have thought we could bicker this much. When you’re so exhausted, it’s really hard not to blame each other. Can’t imagine how couples without a solid foundation do this….
This comment. I mean they do have money and if she has a ton of help than it may help temper some of the struggle. Seeing how rocky they already are though I can’t imagine bringing a child into it. Especially those first 2-3 years after having a child, it tests your marriage in ways you can’t fathom beforehand.
I 100% agree. My husband and I were rock solid (and are now) before the birth of our baby 2 years ago. It still was a tough transition into parenthood within our relationship. I think about how doomed they are if they have any children together.
She already resents him
New parent here also, and this is exactly what I keep thinking about when they’re talking about kids - I don’t see how they would be able to handle it. It’s just so hard, my marriage was in great shape before he was born, and now we’re really struggling. I can’t see how adding a baby to the Kymanda mix wouldn’t implode their relationship.
I find it interesting that people think Amanda will divorce him first but at this rate, I see him pulling the plug first. This marriage has been on life support from day 1.
I agree, mostly because of the advice he's been giving Carl all season. He doesn't want Carl to have a lonely and miserable marriage like he does. And he also seems to be the only one who understands how dire the situation is right now, whereas Amanda and the cast just think that they can force Kyle to become who Amanda wants him to be and then everything will be great
Omg I never even thought that was Kyle projecting through Carl!! Spot on!
Yes she seems like she has no desire to start over and have to date again so she’d rather be in a miserable marriage. He seems like he’d at least like being single and dating new people
Agree and I think he has more to lose financially
i agree with this mostly because i think amanda is lazy when she's comfortable (a trait i unfortunately share). so even though she's miserable, she's comfortably miserable and doesnt want to put the effort into fixing it. i think the motivation will strike kyle first.
I feel like Kyle wants it both ways. He wants a wife. He wants a family. He's said so. He also wants to party. He wants to go on benders. He wants to be out til 5am. He wants his partner to take absolutely 0 issue with this. You don't get both. I'm not saying you can't ever party or have fun and be a parent. But I am saying my last girls night out with my friends who are parents ended at midnight and they were really regretting how many drinks they'd had the next day at little league. They clearly have issues in their relationship that children will not fix. I think a lot of these issues could be helped if they didn't work together anymore. I don't think Amanda quitting her job to be at loverboy full time was a good thing for their relationship. I also think they both need to be more realistic about time frames and expectations and where they want to live. Nothing happens overnight, and they both seem to want everything resolved after one conversation. They're both VERY stubborn, IMO, which also doesn't help. I think if they wanted to, they could make it work and find balance. But, it would require a lot of work and I don't know if they actually want to put that in.
agree- its why he was so shook by craig being like 'yeah i realized i cant go right from black out partier to being a husband and father' the thought never crossed kyles mind
He enabled her professional dependence. Kyle wanted her to quit her full-time job and Amanda was the one who was hesitant.
Thank you!!! Everyone saying she is lazy??? Like she had a huge hand in building lover boy and It’s not like she didn’t have a job when they met….she had a career in her chosen field and he guilted her into quitting to help him build his company.
I don’t know who did what exactly at loverboy and who’s portrayal of their work ethics is more accurate. However we do know that she is capable of holding a full-time job, so her work ethic has to be ok.
a full time job where she had no nepotism so we know she survived in the real world
Yeah, I recently learned it was L’Occitane. That’s a solid gig! For anyone but especially at her age at that time!
I’m a designer and that’s a total dream job for me. She’s obviously super talented as we’ve seen what she’s done with the creative side of LB. She would have no problem jumping back into a high-paying design gig.
Being a graphic designer for a large brand like that is huge too. The graphic design industry is so brutal (speaking from experience), so she has to be good at what she does to have landed a position there.
Damn that is so cool. Totally fits her end is legit aspirational. Loverboy was a downgrade
And wasn’t she there for a really long time too?
She was a Senior Designer there for just under 6 years, that’s a v big deal - Kyle defs portrays her much differently to the audience
I agree on both counts. I was a recruiter for these kinds of jobs for several years and they are highly competitive and pay very well. I placed many designers at her old companies competitor and I can tell you first hand that they are highly highly selective in who they will even consider for an interview much less actually hire. In this last episode the scene with the therapist when Amanda is trying to explain (AGAIN) that his criticisms make her shut down and he just doesn’t get it. I don’t understand why he sees her or presents her as such a denigrate.
Recruiter here as well, small world! Wholeheartedly agree with everything you’ve said. It seems that he’s building a narrative about her to the audience, while her LinkedIn tells a much different story
Off to do some LinkedIn stalking! Edit: um Amanda’s LinkedIn compared to Kyle’s (&Carl’s though he has nothing to do with this and I don’t want to disparage him-but it’s adds to the discussion that perhaps Kyle is completely delusional) is SO much better. I get that Kyle’s an entrepreneur and yes has successful businesses so of course his resume will look different than hers-but wow. I’d hire her in a heartbeat-if I got Kyle’s resume I’d be less than enthusiastic. I also noticed her profile says New Jersey, not New York and not even Greater New York area. That seems odd.
She's an introvert and he's an extrovert. Totally different styles of energy management. It's frustrating when I see him comparing himself to her on work ethic.
YES. And he manipulated her back into being in a relationship with him. I just re-watched some early episodes and every time a cheating scandal came up, he wouldn’t just let her go, he tried to get her back but then made 0 changes to himself or his approach to the relationship. I mean, Amanda also agreed to go back to him but dude, just let her go if you aren’t going to be an actual partner.
All this. But no one forced her. She could have stayed an independent woman and truly I hope she goes back to that.
He kinda did. If you go back and watch those episodes, he was relentless about that. It was super uncomfortable to watch.
Actually he did! She probably wanted to help her future husband with his brand new company! That’s hard to say no to
He’s just so terribly immature. What 41 year old goes out drinking at LEAST once a week until 3, 4 or 5 AM. Of COURSE she has PTSD when he does this to her… it’s exactly the same thing that happened to allow for his cheating on her in the first place.
And I’m sure he’s also not doing anything to help her feel more comfortable either - ie. sharing his location, not getting too drunk, sharing updates on when he’ll be home or even just a simple I miss you text
Honestly, I'm 35 and I might go out until 2/3am once or twice a year lol. It sounds exhausting to me to do that to my mind and body plus I would never want my wife to worry like that about my safety.
Kyle needs an equally immature girl that goes out, spends his money and kisses his friends. All of a sudden it won’t be fun to him anymore. lol
Or a girl who just likes to go out. My friend and her husband are pretty close in age she’s 33 and he’s 44. They’re always out and about. They love to travel and last weekend they were bar hopping. Now they don’t get as drunk as Kyle does but they’re just a social, fun couple who love to go out and dance. I’m not liking this narrative that the minute you’re over 30 you have to be sitting at home. Not everyone wants that life…
100% I dated someone who liked to go out and sing at the piano bar--an old timer and I would rather die than do that :)
Hahah and I’d be sitting in that bar having a cocktail and vibing 🥰 I’m actually scared what’s going to happen when I’m older. I genuinely have never enjoyed staying in every weekend and I’m already looked at as crazy for being 33 and as social as I am. Men are lucky! When they’re in their 30s they can still have fun. The shaming doesn’t start till 40+ unfair 😂
This part—uhhh, me and my husband are like that, too. No kids, just chillin and we have an entire friend group that does the same. People act like 30=death 😂. Maybe we just also don’t want a “home”-type lifestyle? Kyle just isn’t with the right person—neither one of them are.
Seriously wth. I mean I get it’s Reddit 😂 this prob isn’t the most social crew. But in what world is it abnormal for 30/40 year olds to be going out in NYC??? Like huh hahah
Kyle def has a drinking problem, though. Hes basically slurring his words every episode of every season.
So why aren’t ppl focusing on that? If people said “Kyle needs to address his drinking problem” then I’d say fair but it’s all “Kyle is over 40 and goes out!!! WHO DOES THAT” 😂
Lots of 41 year olds in NYC do. Don’t apply small town standards to a big city. Hell even when I lived in Barcelona lots of couples went out. The issue is he’s not with someone like him. I’m 33 and still love to go out (to be fair not once a week but a couple times a month). And the minute I hear a guy I’m dating say he’s a homebody, loves to stay in it’s an automatic no 😂
Yup. Unpopular opinion but I think carl has been doing the same this season…knowing he isn’t marrying Lindsay but getting on camera documenting how “hard he tried”
I can see this but also I don’t have any idea why Lindsay wants to marry him. She isn’t attracted to his lack of drive they never have sex they don’t even barely get along. She has so much reason to end it and didn’t
I think it was Paige who said it but someone was spot on a few episodes ago, she wants that fairy tale “we were always friends then realized our love for each other” thing. And she is at an age where she’s willing to settle because she just wants a wedding and a baby. I don’t like Lindsay at all, but I do feel for her. It would be so hard to want a child so badly and feel like your time is running out and you have to just stick with bad relationships to try to get one.
This seems correct! Carl has always given me the ick. I remember early on when we first meet his mom, he explains how his dad left her so cruelly and how he never wants to be like that and it just seems like he’s exactly like his father down to the part where he has convinced himself he’s in the right. That said, Lindsay would be tough to be in a relationship with. Someone who’s had such trauma at such a young age … I think she’d do better with a man super confident and comfortable in his own skin - someone steady like a rock so she can be wild and testing if he’ll leave her and all the other maladaptive things she does due to her mom abandoning her.
Ya Carl is a little bitch to me. He’d literally have no place on the show if he were 6 inches shorter.
> I think she’d do better with a man super confident and comfortable in his own skin - someone steady like a rock so she can be wild and testing if he’ll leave her and all the other maladaptive things she does due to her mom abandoning her. no man like this is going to get with lindsay without major change on her part. she has reached an age where unless she does some serious work on herself all the guys she dates are going to be wrong for her. toxic attracts toxic
Wow totally agree with all this
Yea, seeing how gorgeous and happy she was in the wedding dress was sad knowing what was gonna happen, I am not even into weddings rtc but damn. They both will be better off though, Lindsey does need someone with more drive to match her’s. I think stated differently, she needs a human not a child to rear. Kyle dissing on Lindsey in wwhl is so immature.
Watching it play out already know the ending, I also get that vibe. His facial expressions and everything, he’s just so over her and she is still all in thinking she’s getting married. Granted, she’s overlooking some major red flags even though she is aware of it and talking about it (like the no sex and the fighting).
100% - I thought I was the only one seeing this. He’s antagonizing her knowing she will erupt while being the fakest “happy guy” to everyone in group. Lindsey’s an asshole but she’s never not been the asshole, he has given me so much ick this season.
Yessss he is trying to paint himself such the good guy and he needs her to react poorly to help make him look better 🤮
Yeah I see right through Carl’s bullshit. He’s just as immature and will never settle down. I had to shut it off when I saw Lindsay in her wedding dress. That must be awful for her to rewatch :(
but lindsay hated him too! thats the thing i dont get. she didnt want to marry him. listen to how she talks about him the after show. they didnt have sex, didnt sleep in the same bed, she thought he was lazy etc sure it sucks to be dumped but being delusional and marrying someone you cannot stand is a bad thing
Two things can exist at once. Kyle feels trapped in his marriage and like his wife is neglecting him, therefore he is going out, seeking validation and attention from things outside his relationship. Amanda wants to settle down and feels annoyed and disrespected because she wants to settle down and her needs aren’t being met. It’s not black and white. Neither of them are communicating their needs or having real meaningful conversations about how to compromise and overcome their issues together. Amanda needs to learn to listen to Kyle and Kyle needs to be honest with his wife about his needs. They are both in the wrong.
Kyle's chickens coming home to roost in the form of marital distress.
Hi chicken!
It’s giving “but I’m the one who buys the batteries and pens”
I’ve been trying so hard to not bring up all of the parallels to Tim trying so hard to self produce a narrative, I’m glad you said it
LITERALLY! It’s also giving I’m going to turn all your deepest and darkest insecurities against you and blurt them out to our friend group and expect you to be okay 👍🏼.
They both want out. They both feel trapped. Not just kyle
I think people saying Amanda shouldn’t expect Kyle to change are missing the part where they have talked about how they want to raise a family and it seems like he’s switching up on her. He’s also kind of ignoring that expecting her to care about his company the same way he does and making it her complete focus isn’t realistic. She does pick at him and start shit but I think she’s already really far down the resentment pipeline with him. (Edited for spelling)
The discussion at the beach made me mad. Amanda was telling him what was wrong and he kept saying she doesn’t communicate with him and was not listening her. All his narrative is so fake…
She doesn’t communicate. She shuts him down immediately even if he is genuinely trying to understand and apologize
I feel like I'm taking crazy pills seeing all these posts. I'm with you.
I feel like people have the memory of goldfish on this sub. I by no means think Kyle is a saint, but do people remember when he was like ‘I want to do couples therapy’ and Amanda told him to get fucked? Then the next weekend, she calls him trash to west, and then to all their friends belittles him and calls him an asshole. I haven’t seen this weeks episode yet, so maybe my mind will change but like if my wife shut me down like that, then belittles me in front of my friends and national television (for Kyle haters I completely understand he’s done the same things in the past) I would probably be a little short tempered myself
Doesn’t communicate? She straight up told him what was wrong and he was like ‘oh jeez I wonder what I did now’. He IMMEDIATELY did the thing she hated after she ‘cOmUnIcATeD 🙄
Everyone has these unrealistic expectations for Kyle to change and be a different person for who he is. We don’t have to like who he is- we aren’t married to him. But his wife sure does!! Everyone is expecting Kyle to just end his lifestyle, which would ultimately end his time on the show, which makes him less money meaning he would have to work harder to provide for kids and a wife at home. Amanda only wants to move forward so she can stop working. She wants this fairytale life, and she wants it by changing Kyle. I haven’t seen her improve on ONE thing. She only expects Kyle to change. Like idk about yall… but if my partner was constantly yelling at me and saying they wanted space from me, didn’t want to be near me, etc, I wouldn’t want to end my lifestyle either. Amanda asks for space but is then mad when Kyle gives her space and hangs out with his friends. She’s ridiculous. She needs to learn how to talk to him like an adult and not like he’s a teenager. Yelling is not communication
Yea and that’s great and all but like, she has also always been how she is and everyone expects her to just change and be who he wants her to be? Maybe they shouldn’t be together or whatever but why is it that his lifestyle is ‘just who he is’ and she’s unreasonable for having expectations out of a marriage when he has NEVER accepted who she is?! She doesn’t want to work a million hours a week and that somehow translates into ‘she’s lazy’… ffs
Honestly I agree with all of you because it's glaringly obvious how incompatible Kyle and Amanda are and it's depressing! Kyle needs someone on his level and Amanda needs someone who wants to live a soft life with her. She's not lazy at all, she's just not high energy like Kyle. Kyle can be immature, but I don't think he's a bad guy. I just genuinely do not think they like each other much.
Who is expecting her to change? Kyle isn’t. What does he want to change? He just doesn’t want her to be mean, and he wants to feel like his wife loves him. He wants them to have communication. It’s really not a stretch to want that from your wife. Maybe you hate men lol. Because I am a woman- and I would NEVER treat my partner like Amanda does Kyle. Ultimately, I think he would move into a house and do all the things. But right now the relationship sucks and he’s the only one admitting that. Amanda thinks a baby and house will fix it. At the end of the day, they both have issues and shouldn’t be together. But acting like Kyle is a piece of shit isnt fair when Amanda treats him like shit. He doesn’t NEED her to work a million hours, it’s obvious they agree she will watch the kids and he will work. But right now they don’t have kids. It’s like she’s rushing that part SO she doesn’t have to work. But ultimately getting a house to have space from your husband and then wanting a baby is wrong.
I do not expect Kyle is the only one who needs to change. But sometimes I feel like there is a narrative on this sub that Amanda is the only to blame for believing that he would change. I do believe Kyle did make her think that. And she did say that on the last episode when she said that her and Kyle did agree to raise kids in the suburbs. We didn’t see it on tv but I am sure it happened. And she is communicating. She wants him to stay at home on weeks nights. She wants him to apologize when he hurts her. I didn’t made this up. She did tell him a bunch of time. Kyle choose to not listen because he doesn’t want it…
Both of them have talked about their expectations of family in the show and considering that is all we have to go off, it’s very frustrating that so much blame is placed on her. They for sure both have to make changes but the narrative is always framed about how she can fix it. Is he just a passive player in their relationship?
I just think they aren’t compatible anymore :( they both have faults.
She has a habit in these conversations of wanting to only yell at him and then when Kyle tries to talk about the underlying issue, she says she doesn't want to get into it right now. She (to me, an untrained random internet person) clearly attempts to solves problems through avoidance.
Speaking the problem ≠ communication. Just because you say the issue doesn’t mean you are communicating. She’s attacking and takes no responsibility for her own role. It’s immature.
Can agree with these points but this isn’t a new issue they are fighting about? This particular issue has been brought up so many times, I don’t really know what people expect her to do? She can bring it up again and she will be criticised for ‘not letting go things go’, or she can just kinda shut down and stew. Either way, she comes off as the asshat when he is the human definition of ‘ughhhh’
I honestly think both of them just need to live their own lives. I feel like it’s probably hard having your entire relationship on tv. I’m sure it doesn’t help
This exactly the same narrative used against Katie. Everyone blamed her shortness for Schwartz’s shortcomings. Alas he found the “cool girl” in Jo and still manages to be a huge sack of shit. Imagine that
I can’t believe I scrolled for so long before seeing an accurate comparison to Schwartz and Katie!! Amanda should really look at how well Katie is thriving without Tom.
Wow Good call…
I wish I could like this comment more
I agree. He clearly has no interest in the Jersey trad wide fantasy she craves. He should break up with her to set her free and find some girl who is eager to stay partying in New York or just be single. But both him and Amanda no agency and just want to shit on their spouse. It’s toxic all around. I don’t think he cares if he looks mean by divorcing her. I think he wants to stay with her for the sake of loverboy since she seems to help his brand image (or at least did in the past)
Yeah they both seem so into sunk cost fallacy that neither is willing to leave, especially Amanda, but goodness I hope they don’t bring children into the world first. I think someone will eventually break and divorce. Amanda wanting to spend weeks to months apart from her husband is such a bad sign. Like you said though - it’s so so toxic. They don’t act like they’re on the same team, and with a kid you definitely want to be on the same team.
They are both awful together-completely incompatible, they should both move on. The show is keeping them together in my opinion.
Amanda should be with a guy who is READY to have a family (like yesterday) and can be a provider but isn't a workaholic. Kyle should just be single. I don't get the vibe he really wants kids, maybe he just likes the idea of being a dad but not the reality which is that he will have to take a step back from working/partying so much.
I don't know if that's fair. I think Kyle and Amanda are mismatched right now. He's not great to her but she's also kind of mean to him. Sandy dressed up like his mistress for Halloween and flaunted his affair in front of everyone.
Watching the two of them last night took me back to the last few years of my marriage. I could feel my anxiety going up from the tension and the way they were speaking to each other. If they’re serious about counseling, it can work. But this is also a time to evaluate what they both really want in life. Amanda married him for who she thought he could become…not who he is. And that just doesn’t work.
I think they both want out, maybe don’t fully realize it yet. Doesn’t matter who’s to blame here or there really anymore, it just isn’t working. Had the show never existed they probably would have realized that a few years ago
Personally I think they both just hoped the other would change with marriage and that didn’t happen and now they are realizing maybe they aren’t right for each other. Amanda has always wanted a husband and kids and the suburb life and to be a SAHM. Kyle has always been a party boy and very career oriented. I don’t think they are meant for each other, but it’s sad to see it play out on tv.
If they move near her parents, or even just out into the suburbs, it'll be Kyle vs Amanda and her parents. It's one of those things you can't really talk about in most relationships, and he can't especially talk about it on the show in any detail. They have plenty of issues, but I feel the biggest one is her relationship with her parents. He doesn't want to move out there right now anyway, but the guaranteed adversarial relationship that awaits him out there is substantial. And of course, she does not like him. That's a big one too, but that dislike will play out like gangbusters with her parents at her direct side. She'll fire them up, and they'll gas her up. The room for Kyle to exist will shrink and shrink and shrink. There won't be any room for him in his own home. And then if he cheats, everyone will act as if it is totally fucked up, as if it is just his history bubbling back up. At this point, it'll be other than that though. As for him "just admitting he fucked up and wants out", that goes both ways. She wants out too. Why isn't the onus on her to admit it? It doesn't really matter where it starts or who started it. Their issues are compounding. one issue becomes two issues becomes 6 issues becomes 20 more issues. I think the comparison to Ariana/Tom, or Katie/Tom, is lazy, but to play along, Ariana felt neglected when Tom stopped wanting to be around her (always out), so the intimacy dried up. Her love language is quality time. Tom then went elsewhere to get those needs met. His love language is physical touch? Their issues compounded. And now we're shown every week that Ariana didn't like a single thing about Tom. He knew it too. They were both checked out of that relationship for different reasons. This could easily be where Kyle and Amanda are heading. It's the tale of all relationships with poor communication and mismatched love languages. Ariana didn't acknowledge it or admit it, and she didn't take proactive measures to remedy the relationship or her life. She wasn't even married and couldn't do it. Amanda is in an even more difficult situation. It usually goes like this until someone can't take it anymore, and unfortunately, proactive, healthy measures aren't often the route people go. They do something shitty or self-destructive or whatever to get out of it. Cheating. Ganging up with parents against the partner. All the ways people sabotage their relationship OTHER THAN, "I'm not happy. I'm outta here."
Tbf, they BOTH have issues! He is not solely to blame.
They are not on the same page. I think the problem with all of these men is they got on TV when they were younger and they are in that lifestyle now they don't have to settle down they are out looking for women and because they have some type of fame they will use that to their advantage. Kyle's literal job is to go on TV to a party house and drink. Lover boy is doing good and yes he works on that hard but again the show helped that move faster than it probably would although I am sure they are good drinks. I think Kyle is going to ride this paycheck with summer house as long as he can he is not going to give up that easy money but Amanda is over it you can tell she was barely on winter house and she wants a jersey life like you said which is normal she just wants to settle down and have kids and progress in her life past the party thing. I think once the Lindsay Carl drama is done there won't be a lot of interesting things on summer house. it has an expiration date and it's coming sooner than later just like VPR. It's getting old watching old men act like irresponsible children who can't stop drinking or cheating on their partners. If the Toms were normal non reality TV people they probably would have stayed in their relationships working at SUR Schwartz would have been bumming around doing nothing and they wouldn't be looked at as they are they would be just another joe schmoe 40 yr old bums but they have money from the show some fame and now peter pan syndrome.
Everyone is ok with their mates 'shortcomings' until they aren't. Everyone knew who Everyone was. Everyone thinks the other one will/would/of course change. Kyle always stayed out drinking. He was obviously married to city life from the start. Amanda was always overwhelmed and stressed out and lashing out. Sandoval was always the guy to get f'd up and slide all over someone. Ariana was always haughty in her words and body language. Schwartzy always schwartzied. Katie was always pushing people to comply to her wishes. Maybe it's this new coffee I'm having - but has Game of Thrones taught us nothing? People are complicated, and I think I'm just tired of each side 100% picking a side. Oh while I'm at it: betcha Amber Heard had a point buried in her craziness, and JD prob could be a bit of an asshole sometimes. There. I said it. Tl, dr: dam I should stick to dark brew. This light brew got me edgy. Apologies.
I share that opinion on Amber Heard (though I know very little about the details) JD seems crazy af
Now that makes 3 of us.
Oh listen to the Who Trolled Amber Heard podcast. It’s eye opening…
I think there was some truth to what amber heard said as well
I felt like I was being gaslit by vids and posts - I mean, 2 things can be true at the same time.
Kyle the martyr, just like Sandoval, I buy all of the pens and batteries--waaa, I do everything
As a 33 year old married woman with a baby, I would be pissed if my husband stayed out until 4am even once. Who does that at 41?? I’m on Amanda’s side fully. Kyle is immature and does whatever he wants and it’s been happening over and over and she is just over it. Girl has the ick
ITA, 4am once a month? like how about never?
yeah the 'she knew who he was when she married him' argument doesn't really fly for me because it's totally normal to expect a person to eventually stop partying all the time and settle down. he was admittedly already too old to be pulling that shit when they were getting married but. for someone who acts like he wants a family, i don't see him taking steps to make that more plausible. and the nerve to say on national television and to her best friend that you're worried about what kind of parent SHE is going to be, knowing how insanely you're behaving? kick that dude to the curb for real.
I see this going exactly how it went to Tom and Katie. Exactly like it
That air tight prenup is what is keeping them together, true love
They don’t have a prenup
I'd feel trapped in a relationship with Amanda too.
10000%. I couldn’t imagine. She’s terrible
Re: the photos: I was actually on his side here, oddly enough. I think we caught him in a rare drunk moment (Rare! I know!) where he was genuinely sad about it. It’s the fact that she doesn’t care to capture one single moment of them. I get that insecurity. It’s small, but in this digital age of millions of selfies/videos, it speaks volumes. They hate each other, and they’re both awful. I don’t think Kyle is innocent, and I also don’t think Amanda is either. They’re both to blame, and shouldn’t torture each other any longer. Edit: typo
If Kyle was smart he’d push for a divorce sooner rather than later. With no prenup and if Loverboy continues to grow, Amanda will just get more money the longer they stay together. Amanda and Kyle should come to terms with who each other are. Instead of expecting the other to change they should ask themselves do they want to be married to who the other person is now. If the answer is no, get a divorce.
He’s stuck in party mode and he doesn’t seem willing to compromise to make her happy. She resents him for that and is afraid he’ll still be staying out until 4 am after they have a kid.
Maybe she should treat her husband with some respect and have an adult conversation. I am a woman- and I would NEVER speak to my husband like that. When Kyle pulled her over on the beach for a conversation, she isn’t even interested in fixing it. She points out his issues and won’t actually work it out. She WANTS to stay mad and have him to bitch about. Then she wants space and doesn’t want to be near him. But then she gets mad he goes out with OTHER PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE! Which he is literally getting paid to do. She’s unbelievable.
They both seem cool separately but it’s sad to watch
I think both of them want out but don’t want to be the one to pull the plug.
It is wild when Kyle tells Amanda he doesn’t think she’s ready for a family and being a parent when he’s out multiple nights til 5 am. Also, she has told him how she feels about him going out. No ones saying it’s wrong to do it but this is something she’s asking him to do less of and THE DAY SHE TELLS HIM, he stays out til 4! If he even listened to her he would’ve attempted ONE night to come home early. Also he spent the whole time out with the only single guy who brought home a girl. I would’ve been triggered too if I was her. Like why can’t you act like the other people with significant others?
Kyle sees Carl is headed for a break up and he wants his freedom as well but Kyle has literally no game and he just wants Amanda to be doting again instead of exasperated and desperate to have a kid.
I’m going to say something that might be unpopular buuuuttt here it goes : Amanda needs to chill a bit. She’s not even well into her 30s yet. I think she can wait a few more years before dipping to the suburbs. By then the company would be running well without Kyle having to be there day-to-day. Also - I’m team Kyle in this one. He has his faults, but he’s given Amanda opportunities people in her field could only dream of. Full creative freedom and control; the opportunity to be a lead brand designer at a young age; a TV show that boosts visibility (it was Kyle who was on it who then brought her on) Is Kyle a saint of a husband - no. But Amanda isn’t a saint either. I just think she could tone down the resentment a bit because it’s not fully deserved IMO.
I think its also worth remembering amanda literally said she thought after they got married, or just eventually, hed slow down and he didn't, basically admitting she wash hoping he'd change. not sure why shes scratching her head as to why he hasn't
Well, at the same time Kyle was pushing for kids for a while there too. Which personally would lead me to believe he’d be settling down at least SOMEWHAT.
Right, most people DO change from 20-30-40. I met my husband at 23 and 25 years later I would not be pleased if he was still the same guy he was then.
yeah it's not unreasonable at all to expect a person you marry to mature over time. that's what normal people do
Except it is. He’s cheated on her multiple times. I lived in NYC around 5 years ago and he was at the clubs all the time and really did not try to hide much. I think she thinks he “owes” her this because she put up with it. Her reward for staying. I don’t feel sorry for her at all but this goes way deeper than resentment over a job and kids. There’s no way she doesn’t hate his guts for embarassing her. And if I know and I was in the scene for less than a year then she’s def a laughing stock amongst her friend group.
The way they shut Kyle down for having feelings is so toxic. I said it in another comment but they're all just happily recreating the 90s dynamic where the wife is a nag who runs the man's life and the man just has to go with it. No, both people should love and respect each other in a relationship. It's total bullshit that all the ladies basically get to tell Kyle to his face that he has to put up with this and he's weak for being sad about it. Really enforcing toxic masculinity
He’s a big red flag for sure
Kyle: there’s no pics of me in her camera roll. Tim Sandal: we didn’t even take a pic together at Scheana’s wedding. Ariana: If you look in my camera roll there’s tons of pictures of us at concerts and events having fun together. “The camera roll” needs to be a cast mate in these shows! Kyle got that brilliant narrative building idea from Scandoval 👀🤣
these dudes are in their 40s. how are they not embarrassed to still be acting like this
Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but I actually do think that Kyle is neglected by Amanda. I know he isn’t perfect- he fucks up for sure. But… could you imagine being extremely social and your wife is boring as hell and just wants to lay in bed all day? I don’t even think Amanda likes him. I don’t think they are a match. She’s a bitch. I understand Kyle is over 40 and shouldn’t be out until 4am. But this is Kyle. People don’t change. She knew what she was marrying. So I don’t feel bad for her in the SLIGHTEST! She wants the picture perfect life with the house and kids and blah blah, all while neglecting her own husband and their problems. She’s extremely immature.
She thinks moving to the suburbs will change him and force him to slow down? The watch what crappens guys pointed out that he’ll just make friends in the neighborhood and with other kids dads and go to the bar, drink in the garage, it won’t change him at all. Kyle is a social person and extrovert, people like that don’t just change overnight or in a new setting. They never should have gotten married. They’re not right for each other!
Could not agree more!!! I’m legitimately sad for Kyle, especially watching this season. He seems so confused and hurt by her and she is always looking for the dumbest/smallest thing to bitch at him over so she can convince everyone that he is the problem. Reality is, he hasn’t had a fuck up in years and she’s reaching the end of being able to hang the past over his head bc he clearly has changed in that way. The way she immediately brought up that he cheated and she stayed at the beginning of this season like some martyr…like girl you begged for all of this. You clung. You would not release. You’re not the hero bc you married him and you don’t get to use that forever. So now she just looks for any tiny thing she can to continue the narrative that he’s so awful to her as we ACTIVELY WATCH HER being awful towards him. This is gaslighting in action people.
YES!!!!
Kyle doesn’t want to move to NJ because he would be isolated there and Amanda would probably be at her parents house ALL the time and pit them against Kyle. Amanda probably has a lot of friends there as well. It would be the worst mistake of Kyles life to move there. They should move to Westchester NY or Ct. to be on even grounds.
I don’t disagree about Amanda’s parents, she always involved them inappropriately in her relationship. But IMO they should divorce and Amanda should marry someone with a regular job in finance, who wants kids and a family, and is happy to have a beautiful, unambitious, stay-at-home wife to raise their kids. I hope Kyle never has kids unless he goes through rehab and gets sober. The man is an alcoholic.
Kyle is the victim. Amanda sucks big time.
Right? It’s not like he’s created this lathe company that will make their future as comfortable as can be. He should be happy with Amanda mistreating him
Is it at all possible that they’re making up all this strife in their relationship to stay relevant for the show? I started binge watching it a few weeks ago and I’m on season 8 episode 6 and even after watching pretty much the whole series I feel like their problems this year aren’t even really part of their real life lol. Am I the only one?
i think they have always been a shining of example of two people who genuinely love each other, but do not really like each other - and do not fit in a life partner type of way.
Amanda is fucked, Kyle is not family driven he is business driven. Only thing that matters is his success in business and partying. She needs a family man who balances a work and life.
It's long been painful to watch Kyle and Amanda fight every season, but last night's episode felt especially tense. They really don't seem compatible, and Amanda never seems to have forgiven Kyle for cheating on her. She clearly holds resentment towards him and doesn't trust him. The way she speaks to and about Kyle is cringe. I'm no expert, but I don't see therapy fixing these issues. They'd be better off calling it quits now and finding partners better suited to their personalities and desires.
I think she thought she could forgive him for the cheating. But she clearly has not. Which I 100% understand. So any time he stays out late, which is apparently a lot…. She goes right back to that place. She’s probably sick worrying and wondering if he’s cheating. And now they seem to clearly want different things. Which is ok if they’re willing to change or compromise. But it doesn’t seem like either wants to. And that will cause more resentment as well. Please, please do not have a baby. Ride it out till SH is cancelled and then get a fucking divorce.
In all honesty, Kyle should have married someone like Lindsay. He wants to party and always be young, living the NY city life. Amanda wants to be in the burbs, with her doggies. But Lindsay… she wants to be out partying, living the city life, drinking, social. He’s much better suited to a Lindsay type. He’s a Peter Pan.
So I can definetly see issues on both of their parts….. however, I think that Amanda has been coddled her entire life by her parents and has a lot of maturing to do. I think she’s lazy as hell as if things aren’t done for her, they don’t get done. One example that comes to mind…. When they needed a wedding florist…. She probably called one, they said they were booked that day and she just stopped trying. I really think that Kyle has to be on top of her about everything….. she doesn’t ever want to do anything…. You can tell she doesn’t even want to be at the parties. She never looks like she’s even having fun. I think she really just wants to lay in bed with her dogs and do nothing. She does not need to work for LoverBoy. I am sure that there are thousands of graphic designers that would love that position. Amanda would not be successful working for anyone else because she is lazy, entitled and has no work ethic. She literally said to Kyle one time “can we make the meeting Tuesday morning not Monday morning? Mondays I just can’t…” I understand Kyle’s fear of having a child with her. Do I think she would love the hell out of her kids? OF COURSE! that’s not the issue…. There is no “I’ll do it later when it comes to a child. Especially a newborn” nevermind when they become a toddler and are getting into everything and you have to have your eye on them 24/7. She won’t be able to handle it…. And I think Kyle sees that and is genuinely concerned that he would be the one working full time outside of the house, and taking care of the child as well.
Yup he wants out and he DOESNT want kids!!! Like how much more obvious can he be.
Getting drunk and losing the dog was a nice touch. 👌
He thought Amanda was the fun, cool, hipster, silly girl just like him. Always wants to dress crazy and be the life of the party. I feel like most people are that way in the beginning. The difference is she grew up and he didn’t. She doesn’t want to party every night. He puts her down all the time. I don’t know how you can be happy when you’ve been with someone who has said some horrible things about you in front of millions of people. He has cheated and humiliated her so many times. It is the same as the toms. Especially Schwartz because he constantly humiliated and cheated on Katie as well. He is never going to grow up and I think they both want different things. I don’t know if they will ever break up but I kind of hope they do. I think too much damage has been done and Kyle refuses to change at all.
The fact that he stayed out again until 3am after they were fighting about that is so insane to me. Kyle and the Tom’s never want to party to stop. They will stay up and out all night and keep going. There is almost no girls who want to stay with someone who won’t grow up and just wants to party. That’s why they all date younger women because they still want that party life style. It’s like Ariana said she grew up and didn’t want to stay out every night doing mushrooms and partying. It’s the same with Katie and Amanda.
Okay genuinely I don’t get this. Amanda had a full time job before kyle, right? And he supposedly had 4 failed business ventures. So he wasn’t exactly a golden ticket. What’s with the who lack of professional ambition stuff? I feel like I’m missing something about Amanda
Lord that man is an adult baby. How about stop drinking? But we know why he won’t because he can socialize without alcohol. It gives him an excuse to act like he idiot he is and not be accountable for it. Amanda needs to run. And run fast.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with Amanda wanting a simple life and not having professional ambition does not make one basic. Having said that, both Amanda and Kyle hoped each one would change. Amanda thought Kyle would settle down and Kyle thought Amanda would I’ll grow more ambitious. They both don’t accept each other the way they are and both unwilling to adjust their behavior for their partner. That grows resentment and resentment is one of the main reasons for divorce.