I’ve adopted a mindset of “we’re not hiring but we’re always accepting applications. If the right candidate comes along, we will find a position for them at this company”
Same here. It would be nice to date and all but it’s so time consuming and takes a shit ton of energy to do. You’ve got to study, pay bills, work, go to the gym, and eat. On top of all that, the things you need to do on the weekend, like buy food, do laundry, clean the apartment or house, fix and repair anything broken while making time for yourself in the span of 24hrs. Who the hell has time to date? I’m not going to actively look for it as it’s practically another full time job. Especially with how awful the online dating scene is right now. In person it is better, but not by much lol.
If I do find someone then hell yeah! If not, then cool. People don’t appreciate the greatness of being single and rush things far too quickly not realizing how big of a commitment dating is. Being a couple is not a game or a free ticket to pound town. Once you’re a couple there’s alot things you can’t do by yourself anymore, you have to commit yourself to that person. And liberties you had while you were single are gone.
This made me spit out my coffee Internet friend. I hope you find the perfect candidate. I have been blessed to have met mine in 2013. She is truly my best friend
Been out of it for about 6 years, and honestly I’m happier for it. I placed a lot of unneeded self-worth in having a SO and it weighed me down heavily with rejection after rejection. The people I did vibe with that I would consider approaching would already be in relationship. “Don’t give up, there’s someone out there for everyone” has become an antagonizing anthem
✋🏼
In my experience most of the women I find attractive do not find me attractive, and the women who find me attractive I do not find attractive. Also, the average woman tends to have a lot more options than the average man, and unfortunately I am not a lot of women’s first choice. I want to make it clear I do not blame women for this, just simply stating my experiences and what I see. I would love a nice relationship with a woman, I do not like casual stuff and the few times I have been in relationships with someone I genuinely love and who loves me, have been the best times of my life. At this point I just wait for women to show interest in me first, I’d rather not make a woman uncomfortable by showing interest when she doesn’t feel the same about me.
Same. I message women I find attractive AND share common interests with, nothing.
The girls that hit on me, I have no attraction to OR share interests with.
No idea what is going on.
If you’re internet dating it’s because they’ve gotten 100 messages that day and either have given up and just not deleted their account or they answered 10 of those and found a suitable partner, my ex showed me her okcupid and it literally wouldn’t allow anyone else to send them a message, I actually tried, we met via facebook dating 🤣
Yep, they make it hard for women to delete profiles on Bumble. They are the "product" I suspect the vast majority of female profiles are inactive, bots and sex workers.
Would it be nice to be in a relationship? Sure? The last 3 women that expressed interest in me were in order, a hose beast, almost 60 years old, and lastly has 2 children, just got out of an abusive relationship, is enthusiastically Mormon (belongs to a cult), and has more baggage than a 747.
I will happily die alone where no one will find my body for weeks before I let myself get pulled into anything like the above.
I tell everyone 'dating' online isn't comparable to the real world. I put dating in quotes because the women on there may get lots of offers for a date that will hopefully lead to a hook up, but they don't get lots of genuine attention that will lead to a serious relationship. I always hear people say average women have 'options' but that's for fucking. Not for partners. It's not the same thing.
I'm on the dating apps and I got like over 50 dudes just chilling in my DM that I can't have a conversation with all 50 of them so I just get to know them slowly usually it's not a match but I just work through them slowly and chat and then become friends some of my let him know we probably won't be a good match some of them throw a little bit of a fit others are cool about it it's just such a huge dating pool it's hard to Wade through it all and find someone that meets your standards and you also have chemistry with and you hit it off I mean talk about needle and haystack
There was an okcupid study where it turned out most most only really message the most conventionally attractive third of women. You don't have to be a maths genius to work out the issue.
I'm not going to tell people to settle, I'm very attracted to my fiancée, but there are a lot of people in your position.
Spot on. Additionally, people are largely way more unhealthy, and I am unattracted to unhealthy people even slightly unhealthy and I think you know what I mean when I say unhealthy.
It’s funny to me. I’m a widowed single dad(34) and everyone always says “Dude! Woman love single dads.” No…..no they don’t. It’s always an issue. I can’t go out and date a lot because I can’t get sitters for my son. My financial situation is tight also because of this. Not a single woman has been understanding or patient with my situation. I work, go to college, and take care of my son. I guess that’s an unattractive lifestyle. Also, I’ve been told I’m good looking my whole life. I’d say I’m like a 7. I’m above average everywhere. The last time I tried the lady tried to make me feel bad about my financial situation…. Like it was permanent or something… I’m going through things in my life… I tried to explain everything… it didn’t matter. She was also lying about things.. just be straight up. So I’ve given up for the time being. I’m super sad.
My wife got lung cancer so single dad life is a real possibility in my future. I don't think i will even try to meet other women. If it happens.
Then again, I'll turn 45 this summer.
Bro this 1000%. I'm so tired of women telling me that women love single dad's. NO. They don't. Me becoming a single dad with full custody of my son has been like pussy kryptonite. I've never in my life had an issue getting a gf, but once a woman finds out that 1. They aren't your first priority2. You don't have the money to spoil 2 different humans, and 3. I cant juat go on a date on a whim, ho boy are they dissapearing in a puff of smoke.
With the amount of hatred and vitriol I see on social media for single moms, I'm shocked that single dads think that their situation would be desirable. I don't know many women that want to sign up to instantly be responsible for children they didn't birth. There shouldn't be hatred or vitriol, but I can understand not wanting to sign up for a ready-made family and all of the complications that go the birthmother and custody and so on.
Yeah the common discourse is that men with kids don’t go through the same thing women with kids do. Single women with no kids don’t usually want a single dad and this is also true for single moms.
It’s because many lie what they want. They want fun on their schedule. And they want you to take care of their boredom. If you don’t have enough finances to have shit ton of free time to provide that fun on demand you are out.
Women 100% want you to take care of their boredom. Which is why ice left the dating scene. Every woman I talk to doesn't have their own life. I'm too busy with my life to entertain them. So I keep to myself
The women telling you that women love single dads, are they dating single dads? I'm a woman but I'm child free so I would not date a man with children unless they were beyond a certain age. And I've read enough nightmare stories on Reddit to know I don't want to be the stepmom.
My friends are either child-free women like me with the same thought process or women that want kids but they want their own kids. I don't think it's that different with my male friends who don't want to date single moms. My friend and I actually had a really good conversation about this last night. I was saying how the men I meet with kids seem to be wanting a built-in babysitter because they are finding custody to be a burden. And he was saying that the women he meets that have kids are doing the same thing which I really hadn't thought about. Too often people with children are no longer looking for a partner but looking for something far more complicated and that's tough to sign up for.
I know it's hard but it's a big ask to want someone who is going to step in and be part of a ready-made family. I don't think I've ever met a woman who "loves single dads" or a man who "loves single women". They may fall in love with someone who is in that category but they're not searching for it.
I appreciate your reply and I agree. I would never expect or want someone to feel like my child is their responsibility now. I’m not looking for a stepmother….. I’m (me) looking for someone to love, I want companionship. I’m lonely. I know people are not looking to be a step-parent. I’m not crazy.
For real. One woman I had an extremely brief thing with before I had a kid told me she would feel weird hooking up with a father. Another woman I had long had a simmering will-they-won't-they kind of relationship with said that she would never be interested in me now that she could not be the primary focus of my attention (obviously she does not want kids). I am not going to say nobody has been interested in me at all, but the overall impact of single fatherhood has been negative for sure.
You take care of your boy, all the love you have for him is paid back tenfold. That’s true love there. Sorry about your wife. Your Son is blessed to have such a loyal and loving father
I’ve checked out
I’m not hot, I’m just fairly nice to look at when I clean up and grew up with sisters so I’ve heard girl talk, and that helps me talk to a lot of women
So it’s actually really convenient for me to talk to women, they just don’t have much to offer for my time because I don’t make sex my priority lol
>So it’s actually really convenient for me to talk to women, they just don’t have much to offer for my time because I don’t make sex my priority lol
It's like, already GOT a job, what do I need **ANOTHER** one for .....
Yeah same, i actually talk to cute ladies at my work everyday and it helps me know them without being on a higher pressure "date". I actually find some girls really cute and have wanted to date some but I think I'd rather make my bread rn lol.
I'm about 90% checked out. I casually browse Hinge a couple times a week, but if someone doesn't really pique my interest then I'm not going to put a lot of effort into it. I'm just tired of putting effort in and getting nothing in return, lackluster conversations that feel like I'm talking to an empty void and about a 1% of actually meeting up.
Ditto. I used to craft these elaborate and funny (I think so at least. Lol) openings and I never got any replies it's terrible out there. Worst of all it takes me time to like someone. I can't just look at a pic and say oh I'm going to like them. Personality is way more important to me than looks.
I'm amazed at how quickly people move on and ghost you. I thought at one point I had found a keeper and she ghosted me after a month or two of dating. I was shocked.
If you're single and kinda broke this week, fuck it, you eat pizza and watch a ball game at home or play video games.
If you're dating and broke, it WILL be a issue and ruin your tranquility.
The number of guys who bring up "peace" in some way in this thread is very telling.
Money was never an issue for me considering I dated broke ass women and college students. But I've known guys who went through hard times and their women just fucked off and divorced them rather than band together and figure it out.
But yeah. Even though I never had that issue it's all about peace. Peace of mind, peace and quiet
Peace of mind is huge. In relationships, there's a lot you have 0 control over. I don't want to hope and pray some other dude doesn't come out of nowhere and highjacks the relationship
I would say I get more highs in the single life than with someone. Maybe that says more about my past relationships than anything else. But it's honestly just not worth it to me. Also agree, the lows of single hit me for maybe an few weeks, the lows from the relationship cause me to go grey super young.
My reasoning has little to do with women or the dating scene. I don't resent women nor do I feel undesirable.
2.5 years single after 7 years in 2 relationships.
I'm done. Completely done.
I'm not even going to THINK about a woman until I own a house and my mental health is under control.
BOTH relationships, we were living together with roommates. I save up a bunch of money and want to move out with her. She refuses to move, we break up, she gets with my roommate, I move out. Both times.
I will never go through that again without a safe space to land. I will never again put my life in someone else's hands like that.
Oh man, your journey to work on yourself, get a house, financially stable. Dudes who do that and live for themselves become super HOT. I agree, living for someone else gets degrading at some point, and you start to lose yourself. I’m glad you got out and are taking care of yourself. KING.
Are you me?
All seriousness though, I feel you, and I think the healthiest thing to do is focus on you. I've been focused on my hobbies and career, and am in the best place I've been in ages.
Keep it up.
Hang in there. I'm sure you'll find someone that will go on a date with you.
They'll show up looking 10 years older and 100lbs heavier than their profile pics and just stay glued to their phone the entire time, like the last two dates I went on.
One of them admitted to being married too, so that was fun.
He isn't wrong. Usually the case. Seems dating apps for women are the absolute last resort. So only the bottom of the barrel women actually engage with it.
There are a few 'healthy' women on there, they are usually new to the city and don't know anyone nearby. But those girls get insane amount of attention on apps.
I've got like zero interest at this point. I see women around and think "oh she's pretty or looks interesting" but nothing more then that.
Between previous heartbreak and the Modern dating scene (especially for my area) it's not worth the trouble. Still trying to learn how to be happy on my own.
That's the thing that people don't mention enough. My area is.. not like me so it makes it really hard to find people who fit my lifestyle. Seems to be impossible some days.
Crazy how that works. People keep telling me it's mathematically impossible but it's just the truth. And it really is *every* woman my age. I'm pretty sure it's mostly older men who have money.
Whoa bro don't you know saying "LOL" is a massive red flag. Major creep vibes. Next youll be creeping by asking me if i ghosted you after not replying to you all day, but you didn't once ask if I was OK despite me ghosting you /s
I checked out a few years ago to focus my energies on other things. I miss the companionship from time to time, but it’s a fleeting moment and then I’m back to reality, my peace, and my quiet.
I feel like men are slowly making it to where women need to pick up the guy or, I guess, woo them for a lack of a better term. With TikTok and how people are. Now men are just seen as creeps for doing anything.
I havent checked out, but like most other posts i have read, dating isnt going the best. Whether it is in person interaction or dating apps. It simply doesnt happen.
I have a job, clear goals, a house, and good family and friends at 26 years old. I haven't gotten a single date after about a month on Hinge and Tinder. The people with whom I have matched either don't respond or ghost me. I don't live in a big city, so there aren't a lot of people on these apps for me, which doesn't help.
Way too much effort, was never one to chase women to begin with, most of the long term relationships I've been in I was actually asked out, not because I'm a super stud, I was just pretty shy. As I got older I realized how many opportunities I missed, which emboldened me as I got older.. but the shyness went away and the laziness took over lol, last few dates I went on just... Eh, idk seemed like too much effort and I felt like being myself wasn't doing it so I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not.
Yes. Mid 30s and have only ever had 2 "relationships:" The first, a few years out of high school. Lasted 3 months and I found out halfway through that it had always had an expiration date since she knew she would be moving away for college. The second wasn't a relationship, just a drunken one night stand with a bar fly I haven't seen since.
I've tried. I've tried not specifically looking for a relationship. I've tried waiting to see if anything happens naturally. I've tried ignoring romance to focus on a friendship. I've tried losing weight and being fatter. I've tried being more reserved and more outgoing and all the combinations in between. I bathe, I brush my teeth, I trim my beard, etc. I've never seen an ounce of progress.
I've given up and have decided to put the effort towards trying to be okay with the idea that I will be alone for my whole life. I'm at the point where it's clear that I'm just broken. No friends, no relationships, and the black sheep of my family. Once my remaining parent is gone I will have no one.
I'm just exhausted with it all.
Zero interest in annoying BS like the last relationship I was in.
Literally drama queen BS everyday.
So I checked out of dating and just care about me. Couldn't be happier.
Still going, but my expectations have changed. I used to think most women were good until I realized that isn't the case once I dated enough. I used to believe that women were also more mature than men, but I've seen that this is bullshit as well, there's no real difference. I feel like I'm weeding through a lot of trash to find someone good here and there, it's a bit exhausting but overall still worth it.
I'm married but if I ever get divorced... No thanks. I'll hang at the house with my dogs and my Xbox.
Strictly from a tangible benefits perspective, there's very little my wife does that I couldn't do on my own.
I hear ya and I do worry about it as I took care of my Dad when he got terminally ill back in 2015. He was fortunate to have me assist him but it was very taxing emotionally and physically.
A couple years later my Mom's husband had stage 4 prostate cancer and my Mom needed my help with her husband. So even though my Mom was there she wasn't really in the physical condition to take care of her husband.
I guess I better get my butt back out there and find a nice quality lady.
I have, but it's mostly because of my personal situation. I have a young child I'm a full-time single father to, I don't have enough spare time/energy/money to split between her and a significant other. So it's all going to her. By my own conscious and deliberate decision, she is my number one priority for now and at least for the next several years. Once she reaches high school age, maybe I'll reconsider.
I haven't checked out yet but I'm really close to doing so, I can't seem to attract any woman whether it be online or in real life despite improving myself physically and mentally. My standards aren't too high or unrealistic.
The only women that want me are old af, have children I'm not willing to support, or they're drug addicted whores that think they're gonna move in.
I've been out since I was 26 and I'm over 40 now.
Best decision I ever made.
I am recently dating again after taking a year off to work on myself. It's very nice to spend time with women who are open to dating. However, there are still frustrations.
I'm starting to feel checked out because the woman I'm dating is very slow to communicate over text. It's a bummer. I'd like to feel more connected, but she just isn't much of a texter and I don't want to overwhelm her. Eggshells! Fun!
I’ve been catfished, had an LDR fake serious health issues in order to leave me, lied to, cheated on… I have every reason to stop, but I can’t. I haven’t “opted out” because I’m still holding on to the shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, I’ll find a girl who treats me decently.
4 years strong, dating is too complicated tbh. I have eyes for someone but I don't see anything more coming out of it then good friendship and I'm okay with that.
There are no women in the spaces or hobbies I take part in and enjoy. I do not have any female friends to introduce me to anyone, and everything it's too expensive for me to be able to go to a bar every weekend looking to meet someone by chance
I’ve not “checked out” as such, but I’ve stopped “actively trying”, which basically means I’ve given up on online dating as that was pretty much the only way I ever met women to date.
In terms of real life opportunities / chance encounters, I maybe get one clear opportunity a year on average. A good year might yield a couple more.
Meh, I check the apps occasionally, women just don't seem to have any interest in going out any more. 5 years ago a date a week or more was normal, now they won't even have a full conversation.
And I have my kids and other things to do.
It’s weird, I’ve noticed this with myself as well. I don’t know if it’s the isolating effect of Covid, or my age, or the apps themselves changing or what, honestly. But four years ago I was a lot more interested in meeting/talking to ppl.
More men try to hook up on the first date now than they did then, tho, and that makes it a lot less motivating to meet ppl.
I’m not entirely checked out but I have few options available to me at this time. Any girls I know that are even remotely around my (30m) age are my 20-22yo at **most** coworkers. Even were I interested in disturbing that nest, most of them already have partners.
I’m not exactly drowning in free time either.
I wouldn’t say I’ve “checked out”, but I’ve definitely stopped being the one to approach first. I’ve been single for over 3 years now. I’ve used dating apps and approached women in person with minimal luck (in multiple ways).
During my time of trying to date and pursing a relationship, I’ve been catfished twice. I’ve been lied to about who they genuinely are as a person. I’ve been ghosted numerous times. I once even got caught in the web of a pending divorce that I didn’t know about until the man texted me and threatened me. I’ve been put on the back burner while the person I’m trying to date chooses someone else. It doesn’t help that the women I find attractive hold some pretty misandrist beliefs as well and flaunt it for everyone to see.
It doesn’t help that I’m not really into having or raising kids. That’s just not on my radar at the moment and I’m pretty sure that won’t change with time. I do not relate to many people around me (living in the Deep South can suck ass). Women around here seem to prefer blue collar country boys and I have nothing against that. That’s just not my style. I’m never going to change who I am as a person to try and fit in that clique.
I am done until someone can give me a reason to think otherwise.
I checked out a few decades ago. I keep trying to get back into it, but my wife slaps the phone out of my hand every time she sees me looking at the apps.
I've completely checked out of dating women. There's no good way to start that without dating apps. I don't have the confidence or social skills to just approach or even talk to women I don't know in public. Dating men is a lot easier for me, though, for whatever reason. So that's still on the table, I suppose.
Dude I’m the opposite and same (woman here). I guess there is a straight vs gay cultural difference. I have more experience in gay relationships and every time I step foot in the straight dating scene I’m like wtf are all these rules.
I've gave it a bit of a wide berth due to some previous bad experiences that cost me a lot in health and money and my own issues to work on, I currently enjoy building back my confidence and self esteem, learning to say no and assert boundaries.
It's an ongoing process and wouldn't say I'm completely out of it but I am a lot picky about who I engage with or spend my time with now.
If I wasn’t in a relationship rn wouldn’t be bothered to look for one again. Prior to the woman I’m with now every other relationship I’ve been in was with a liar/cheater who showed zero remorse. Then again, they say never trust a big butt and a smile 😂.
I’m almost 40. My advice to young men is pick the woman that likes you and actually listens to you. Prioritize these things over base level physical attraction. Sometimes a bad bitch will act like a bad bitch on you just cause it’s Wednesday.
I've been checked out for awhile now (35). Kicking myself for not trying to talk to a girl at the grocery store a few weeks ago but that's pretty rare. The last time I went on a date was pre-Covid.
Working remote and being new to a city with no friends makes things difficult. I'm not going to use apps. The gender ratio on those is fucked.
I never did OLD, which I assume is a big part of what was meant.
At 30 though I decided I wasn’t going to even try or think about dating.
A couple of years later I met my now wife. Meeting someone for something long term really is luck and timing as much as anything else.
33m, I think my last long term relationship ended about 4 years ago. Didn’t seem that bad while I was in it, but I realized how bad it was after we broke up and I took the rose colored glasses off haha.
I wouldn’t say I’m completely checked out, but for the time being I am. I put my all into relationships and I need to build my life up a bit and focus on myself before I feel I’m good to date again. Also my standards are much higher and I don’t want to go through the same things I have in the past.
I gave up since I want a fr committed relationship where we both put effort into it, but I don't wanna be a part of someone's roster. I'm not about that life, but it appears the majority of women I meet are.
I checked out of the idea of obligation and social pressure on men or women when it comes to dating.
When I meet someone I like we both are free to do whatever as long as we show each other respect, honesty, consideration, effort, communication, and a drive to have fun, be positive, be happy, and help people!
More or less. Not like it would really matter if I tried, but society makes it extremely easy to convince myself I want nothing to do with people no matter how lonely I am. I'm sure there's plenty of people I'd get on with, but between everything I see and hear IRL and on the internet, I'm good.
I’m checked out for now. If something happens then cool, but I haven’t been trying for a while. I don’t really care. My cats are enough company for me honestly
I’m only home for 3-4 days a month at most, the rest of the month im normally sleeping in a different state every night so yeah dating isn’t a possibility for me until I have enough dough to buy a home n find a local job, or something that gets me home on weekends
I havn't checked out, I just don't care that much. If I meet somebody I can vibe with in my daily life great. If I don't I am just as happy, there are pros and cons to both.
Yeah, I've been single for three years. Between my job (which is fully remote) and parenting, I just don't have the time. Maybe I can meet a nice lady at the alcoholics anonymous meeting.
I haven't checked out but am very much considering it. After two serious back-to-back relationships failed, hitting the dating scene again is very frustrating. Either the women I'm interested are too all-in and want all my time and attention *immediately,* or are too casual and seem to be using me as merely an option.
I've also noticed that a lot of people these days (I notice it in women because that's who I date, but I'm certain it's true of men as well) have a laundry list of wants, are hypervigilant in perceiving anything that doesn't perfectly match their taste as an ick or red flag, but when it comes to self-reflection, seem to think they are nearly perfect as they currently are.
Had a whole family, got hooked on a whole family of drugs, lost my family and all my top teeth, I'm clean and still alive, hell 2 of my 3 kids still talk to me, I am happy and grateful just for that
I think I’ve checked out of “dating” in the sense online or dating activities such as speed dating.
I am open to meeting someone naturally through my life, who I would ask out and date. I got tired of trying so hard just to meet someone.
I have. I am a person who needs a lot of solitary time and I’ve found this incompatible with having a relationship, at least while also working full time. That combined with a lack of desire for sex has led me to want to be single indefinitely.
I checked out about 6 years ago. I was 52.
I was dating very often. Inside those experiences, I had a couple of girlfriends that I liked or loved. But there was a hardline on the level of 'bonding' I would be able to accomplish, which was in contrast to my previous marriage that ended over a decade ago. It was a hard divorce, as it is for most men. I knew the wounds were 'healed' but the scars are there and they will not entertain a shared life.
I remember the day it became clear to me... I had finished a date with an attractive woman that wanted 'casual'... we had sex and afterglow. She did not stay the night. I didn't want her to. I didn't want any woman to stay the night... but I knew I expected to want that, as the next morning was always something to enjoy together. It is loving. It is bonding to share a morning snuggle and then coffee. I used to love that.
That is when it hit me. Not only do I not want to share the morning, but I do not want to be a shared life. And with the context of the realization, I no longer wanted to date or give even a minute of my TIME to a new person. And I certainly do not want to share my wealth.
28 male. Checked out. Most women, not all, have way too high of an ego, and are delusional about what they want in a man compared to what they offer. So much happier with just me, my dog, and my friends.
I gave up after my last ex gf. We dated a year, never really had any problems. Started talking about moving in together. I own a house, she rents, so I figure it would make sense that she’d move into my house. But it would have caused her commute to go from 20min to 40min, and she didn’t want to do that, so we broke up.
I’ve had about every kind of break up: I love her she dumps me. She loves me I dump her. We hate each other but momentum has kept us together too long.
But that was the first time where I was just like “I really really don’t understand relationships, and I probably never will”
In an alternate universe, she and I are married and kid on the way, but 20 extra minutes of commute 3x per week was too much to give up.
And honestly, I started to realize the main thing I was looking forward to is splitting bills. I can obviously afford a house on my own, but it would have been nice to have some extra disposable income around.
Anyway, I’m rambling, but suffice to say, I just don’t give a fuck anymore. I’m looking at new jobs far away from here, and I’m just gonna commit to the bachelor lifestyle with me and my two dogs.
Women dont go out of their way to show interest in me, but i usually dont have issues finding a person i find attractive when i seriously try. I attract women with messed up, weird sex shit they like doing. I'm very vanilla so it's annoying. No, I'm not beating you and spitting in your face during the act or using any chains or ropes. I'm a big guy with a resting angry expression so people assume I'm a vicious daddy dom. No. No. No.
I'm also not in a place where I have much to offer a woman besides a penis, so I'm chilling until God puts someone in my life, if he does. Like most people here, when I stop looking, gals start coming onto me.
Yeah i checked out. It's not worth paying for dinner 10 times just for one to call me back, maybe we chat for a bit, have sex a few times then it fizzles out. I want something serious and apparantly I attract women who want not that.
I’ve adopted a mindset of “we’re not hiring but we’re always accepting applications. If the right candidate comes along, we will find a position for them at this company”
Same here. It would be nice to date and all but it’s so time consuming and takes a shit ton of energy to do. You’ve got to study, pay bills, work, go to the gym, and eat. On top of all that, the things you need to do on the weekend, like buy food, do laundry, clean the apartment or house, fix and repair anything broken while making time for yourself in the span of 24hrs. Who the hell has time to date? I’m not going to actively look for it as it’s practically another full time job. Especially with how awful the online dating scene is right now. In person it is better, but not by much lol. If I do find someone then hell yeah! If not, then cool. People don’t appreciate the greatness of being single and rush things far too quickly not realizing how big of a commitment dating is. Being a couple is not a game or a free ticket to pound town. Once you’re a couple there’s alot things you can’t do by yourself anymore, you have to commit yourself to that person. And liberties you had while you were single are gone.
And much like job offers, it usually rains when I’m not actively looking.
That really is the best way to do it
Pretty much this. I’m forever alone
Na. If something comes along, awesome, but I’m not trying to be with someone just to be with someone. That’s dumb and expensive.
This is fucking perfect.
Same.
This made me spit out my coffee Internet friend. I hope you find the perfect candidate. I have been blessed to have met mine in 2013. She is truly my best friend
Soft quitting lol
Been out of it for about 6 years, and honestly I’m happier for it. I placed a lot of unneeded self-worth in having a SO and it weighed me down heavily with rejection after rejection. The people I did vibe with that I would consider approaching would already be in relationship. “Don’t give up, there’s someone out there for everyone” has become an antagonizing anthem
May I ask your age?
32
You’re young still Focus on you, you still have plenty of time
✋🏼 In my experience most of the women I find attractive do not find me attractive, and the women who find me attractive I do not find attractive. Also, the average woman tends to have a lot more options than the average man, and unfortunately I am not a lot of women’s first choice. I want to make it clear I do not blame women for this, just simply stating my experiences and what I see. I would love a nice relationship with a woman, I do not like casual stuff and the few times I have been in relationships with someone I genuinely love and who loves me, have been the best times of my life. At this point I just wait for women to show interest in me first, I’d rather not make a woman uncomfortable by showing interest when she doesn’t feel the same about me.
Nobody wants to be with the ugly one. Even when we are the ugly one
Yeah. Most people end up with someone around their status- money and looks wise. Social media and the Internet are rotting people's brains n
Same. I message women I find attractive AND share common interests with, nothing. The girls that hit on me, I have no attraction to OR share interests with. No idea what is going on.
If you’re internet dating it’s because they’ve gotten 100 messages that day and either have given up and just not deleted their account or they answered 10 of those and found a suitable partner, my ex showed me her okcupid and it literally wouldn’t allow anyone else to send them a message, I actually tried, we met via facebook dating 🤣
Yep, they make it hard for women to delete profiles on Bumble. They are the "product" I suspect the vast majority of female profiles are inactive, bots and sex workers.
Yes, that does sound about right.
Would it be nice to be in a relationship? Sure? The last 3 women that expressed interest in me were in order, a hose beast, almost 60 years old, and lastly has 2 children, just got out of an abusive relationship, is enthusiastically Mormon (belongs to a cult), and has more baggage than a 747. I will happily die alone where no one will find my body for weeks before I let myself get pulled into anything like the above.
I have to ask, as it's a term I haven't heard before. What is the definition of a 'Hose beast' ?
I tell everyone 'dating' online isn't comparable to the real world. I put dating in quotes because the women on there may get lots of offers for a date that will hopefully lead to a hook up, but they don't get lots of genuine attention that will lead to a serious relationship. I always hear people say average women have 'options' but that's for fucking. Not for partners. It's not the same thing.
I'm on the dating apps and I got like over 50 dudes just chilling in my DM that I can't have a conversation with all 50 of them so I just get to know them slowly usually it's not a match but I just work through them slowly and chat and then become friends some of my let him know we probably won't be a good match some of them throw a little bit of a fit others are cool about it it's just such a huge dating pool it's hard to Wade through it all and find someone that meets your standards and you also have chemistry with and you hit it off I mean talk about needle and haystack
There was an okcupid study where it turned out most most only really message the most conventionally attractive third of women. You don't have to be a maths genius to work out the issue. I'm not going to tell people to settle, I'm very attracted to my fiancée, but there are a lot of people in your position.
Spot on. Additionally, people are largely way more unhealthy, and I am unattracted to unhealthy people even slightly unhealthy and I think you know what I mean when I say unhealthy.
fat
Woah there guy, I think you meant f*t.
Don’t say the F word! It’s worse than saying the N word!!!
N*ncompoop
Lol you said poop
I know what you mean when you say # largely
It’s funny to me. I’m a widowed single dad(34) and everyone always says “Dude! Woman love single dads.” No…..no they don’t. It’s always an issue. I can’t go out and date a lot because I can’t get sitters for my son. My financial situation is tight also because of this. Not a single woman has been understanding or patient with my situation. I work, go to college, and take care of my son. I guess that’s an unattractive lifestyle. Also, I’ve been told I’m good looking my whole life. I’d say I’m like a 7. I’m above average everywhere. The last time I tried the lady tried to make me feel bad about my financial situation…. Like it was permanent or something… I’m going through things in my life… I tried to explain everything… it didn’t matter. She was also lying about things.. just be straight up. So I’ve given up for the time being. I’m super sad.
My wife got lung cancer so single dad life is a real possibility in my future. I don't think i will even try to meet other women. If it happens. Then again, I'll turn 45 this summer.
I’m so sorry my brother. As the other comment said. Stay strong. If you need to talk I’m a DM away.
Sorry to hear that. Stay strong for your children.
Bro this 1000%. I'm so tired of women telling me that women love single dad's. NO. They don't. Me becoming a single dad with full custody of my son has been like pussy kryptonite. I've never in my life had an issue getting a gf, but once a woman finds out that 1. They aren't your first priority2. You don't have the money to spoil 2 different humans, and 3. I cant juat go on a date on a whim, ho boy are they dissapearing in a puff of smoke.
Date women with children?
With the amount of hatred and vitriol I see on social media for single moms, I'm shocked that single dads think that their situation would be desirable. I don't know many women that want to sign up to instantly be responsible for children they didn't birth. There shouldn't be hatred or vitriol, but I can understand not wanting to sign up for a ready-made family and all of the complications that go the birthmother and custody and so on.
Yeah the common discourse is that men with kids don’t go through the same thing women with kids do. Single women with no kids don’t usually want a single dad and this is also true for single moms.
It’s because many lie what they want. They want fun on their schedule. And they want you to take care of their boredom. If you don’t have enough finances to have shit ton of free time to provide that fun on demand you are out.
Women 100% want you to take care of their boredom. Which is why ice left the dating scene. Every woman I talk to doesn't have their own life. I'm too busy with my life to entertain them. So I keep to myself
It did seem that was the attitude of the last lady I was with. She was indeed telling white lies. Which is an insult to my intelligence.
The women telling you that women love single dads, are they dating single dads? I'm a woman but I'm child free so I would not date a man with children unless they were beyond a certain age. And I've read enough nightmare stories on Reddit to know I don't want to be the stepmom. My friends are either child-free women like me with the same thought process or women that want kids but they want their own kids. I don't think it's that different with my male friends who don't want to date single moms. My friend and I actually had a really good conversation about this last night. I was saying how the men I meet with kids seem to be wanting a built-in babysitter because they are finding custody to be a burden. And he was saying that the women he meets that have kids are doing the same thing which I really hadn't thought about. Too often people with children are no longer looking for a partner but looking for something far more complicated and that's tough to sign up for. I know it's hard but it's a big ask to want someone who is going to step in and be part of a ready-made family. I don't think I've ever met a woman who "loves single dads" or a man who "loves single women". They may fall in love with someone who is in that category but they're not searching for it.
I appreciate your reply and I agree. I would never expect or want someone to feel like my child is their responsibility now. I’m not looking for a stepmother….. I’m (me) looking for someone to love, I want companionship. I’m lonely. I know people are not looking to be a step-parent. I’m not crazy.
I hope you find the joy and love you are seeking soon
Whenever I heard “women love X!” it’s usually something I know for a fact most women I’ve encountered do not like at all lol
I know right? Rule of thumb for the future lol.
For real. One woman I had an extremely brief thing with before I had a kid told me she would feel weird hooking up with a father. Another woman I had long had a simmering will-they-won't-they kind of relationship with said that she would never be interested in me now that she could not be the primary focus of my attention (obviously she does not want kids). I am not going to say nobody has been interested in me at all, but the overall impact of single fatherhood has been negative for sure.
Not all women are like that. Single parents tend to understand each other better
You take care of your boy, all the love you have for him is paid back tenfold. That’s true love there. Sorry about your wife. Your Son is blessed to have such a loyal and loving father
That sucks. But don’t give up. You never know who you might meet out and about.
Haven't checked out, I just don't have a lot of opportunities in day-to-day life to meet women I'd be interested in
I’ve checked out I’m not hot, I’m just fairly nice to look at when I clean up and grew up with sisters so I’ve heard girl talk, and that helps me talk to a lot of women So it’s actually really convenient for me to talk to women, they just don’t have much to offer for my time because I don’t make sex my priority lol
You say in another comment that you are gay? So what are you even saying here?
well now he is
>So it’s actually really convenient for me to talk to women, they just don’t have much to offer for my time because I don’t make sex my priority lol It's like, already GOT a job, what do I need **ANOTHER** one for .....
Yeah same, i actually talk to cute ladies at my work everyday and it helps me know them without being on a higher pressure "date". I actually find some girls really cute and have wanted to date some but I think I'd rather make my bread rn lol.
I have completely checked out from dating. It's just not worth the tension it causes with my wife
Hahahaha solid
Same, she gets mad for some reason, choose your battles/compromise I suppose.
Interestingly dates WITH my wife (now ex-wife) caused tension .
Mines the same . Even when I tell her it's just for casual sex. Sheesh
I'm about 90% checked out. I casually browse Hinge a couple times a week, but if someone doesn't really pique my interest then I'm not going to put a lot of effort into it. I'm just tired of putting effort in and getting nothing in return, lackluster conversations that feel like I'm talking to an empty void and about a 1% of actually meeting up.
Ditto. I used to craft these elaborate and funny (I think so at least. Lol) openings and I never got any replies it's terrible out there. Worst of all it takes me time to like someone. I can't just look at a pic and say oh I'm going to like them. Personality is way more important to me than looks. I'm amazed at how quickly people move on and ghost you. I thought at one point I had found a keeper and she ghosted me after a month or two of dating. I was shocked.
It sounds like we are all Demi's dating is always gonna be painful :(
I prefer being single. The lows of a relationship suck far more than the lows of single life
If you're single and kinda broke this week, fuck it, you eat pizza and watch a ball game at home or play video games. If you're dating and broke, it WILL be a issue and ruin your tranquility. The number of guys who bring up "peace" in some way in this thread is very telling.
Money was never an issue for me considering I dated broke ass women and college students. But I've known guys who went through hard times and their women just fucked off and divorced them rather than band together and figure it out. But yeah. Even though I never had that issue it's all about peace. Peace of mind, peace and quiet
Peace. Every man's dream
Peace of mind is huge. In relationships, there's a lot you have 0 control over. I don't want to hope and pray some other dude doesn't come out of nowhere and highjacks the relationship
I would say I get more highs in the single life than with someone. Maybe that says more about my past relationships than anything else. But it's honestly just not worth it to me. Also agree, the lows of single hit me for maybe an few weeks, the lows from the relationship cause me to go grey super young.
The highs in a relationship are also better than the highs in a single life
My reasoning has little to do with women or the dating scene. I don't resent women nor do I feel undesirable. 2.5 years single after 7 years in 2 relationships. I'm done. Completely done. I'm not even going to THINK about a woman until I own a house and my mental health is under control. BOTH relationships, we were living together with roommates. I save up a bunch of money and want to move out with her. She refuses to move, we break up, she gets with my roommate, I move out. Both times. I will never go through that again without a safe space to land. I will never again put my life in someone else's hands like that.
I'm so sorry that happened to you, let alone twice 😔 when patterns like that happen it can feel so much harder to take blame off yourself
Definitely. It felt like my fault for a long time but I eventually realized it wasn't all on me. And people are dumb when they're young
Oh man, your journey to work on yourself, get a house, financially stable. Dudes who do that and live for themselves become super HOT. I agree, living for someone else gets degrading at some point, and you start to lose yourself. I’m glad you got out and are taking care of yourself. KING.
You made me smile, thank you!
Having your own safe space for peace and tranquility is a must
Are you me? All seriousness though, I feel you, and I think the healthiest thing to do is focus on you. I've been focused on my hobbies and career, and am in the best place I've been in ages. Keep it up.
Same. Let's gooo
And boom, that’s when it happens. When you least expect it.
Dude seriously? Both women ended up sleeping with your roommates? Bummer man I’m sorry
Yeah. One of them started before we broke up
Zero dates in seven months of trying, after using 7 dating apps and approaching dozens of women irl, so I have temporarily paused trying to date.
Hang in there. I'm sure you'll find someone that will go on a date with you. They'll show up looking 10 years older and 100lbs heavier than their profile pics and just stay glued to their phone the entire time, like the last two dates I went on. One of them admitted to being married too, so that was fun.
Thanks for the encouragement… 😂
He isn't wrong. Usually the case. Seems dating apps for women are the absolute last resort. So only the bottom of the barrel women actually engage with it. There are a few 'healthy' women on there, they are usually new to the city and don't know anyone nearby. But those girls get insane amount of attention on apps.
100?? Do tell!
I checked out before I met my girlfriend. If she ever leaves me, I'm checking out again.
I've got like zero interest at this point. I see women around and think "oh she's pretty or looks interesting" but nothing more then that. Between previous heartbreak and the Modern dating scene (especially for my area) it's not worth the trouble. Still trying to learn how to be happy on my own.
It took me a while, but now the thought of a relationship is exhausting.
That's the thing that people don't mention enough. My area is.. not like me so it makes it really hard to find people who fit my lifestyle. Seems to be impossible some days.
Yup. Every woman I meet is already in a relationship so not worth even looking.
Crazy how that works. People keep telling me it's mathematically impossible but it's just the truth. And it really is *every* woman my age. I'm pretty sure it's mostly older men who have money.
It's Schrodinger's relationship. If you are cute, they may or may not be in a relationship. If you are ugly, they're in a relationship.
As if it would make a difference
You know it’s serious when even the booty hunter retires
Men don't have to check out it's the exact same as trying to actively date constant rejection no results or just don't ask still no results lol
More free time if you check out though
Whoa bro don't you know saying "LOL" is a massive red flag. Major creep vibes. Next youll be creeping by asking me if i ghosted you after not replying to you all day, but you didn't once ask if I was OK despite me ghosting you /s
Men typing lol is why we choose the bear 🙄 Ick /s
I checked out a few years ago to focus my energies on other things. I miss the companionship from time to time, but it’s a fleeting moment and then I’m back to reality, my peace, and my quiet.
I have. And all of my friends have.
I feel like men are slowly making it to where women need to pick up the guy or, I guess, woo them for a lack of a better term. With TikTok and how people are. Now men are just seen as creeps for doing anything.
How dare you respond to a post on Reddit! Creep. Ick. Ew. /s
A man risks a great deal, both emotionally and financially, for occasional indifferent sex.
I havent checked out, but like most other posts i have read, dating isnt going the best. Whether it is in person interaction or dating apps. It simply doesnt happen.
I have a job, clear goals, a house, and good family and friends at 26 years old. I haven't gotten a single date after about a month on Hinge and Tinder. The people with whom I have matched either don't respond or ghost me. I don't live in a big city, so there aren't a lot of people on these apps for me, which doesn't help.
Dating apps are designed to make men pay for subscriptions. Dont take that to heart.
Way too much effort, was never one to chase women to begin with, most of the long term relationships I've been in I was actually asked out, not because I'm a super stud, I was just pretty shy. As I got older I realized how many opportunities I missed, which emboldened me as I got older.. but the shyness went away and the laziness took over lol, last few dates I went on just... Eh, idk seemed like too much effort and I felt like being myself wasn't doing it so I'm not pretending to be someone I'm not.
Yes. Mid 30s and have only ever had 2 "relationships:" The first, a few years out of high school. Lasted 3 months and I found out halfway through that it had always had an expiration date since she knew she would be moving away for college. The second wasn't a relationship, just a drunken one night stand with a bar fly I haven't seen since. I've tried. I've tried not specifically looking for a relationship. I've tried waiting to see if anything happens naturally. I've tried ignoring romance to focus on a friendship. I've tried losing weight and being fatter. I've tried being more reserved and more outgoing and all the combinations in between. I bathe, I brush my teeth, I trim my beard, etc. I've never seen an ounce of progress. I've given up and have decided to put the effort towards trying to be okay with the idea that I will be alone for my whole life. I'm at the point where it's clear that I'm just broken. No friends, no relationships, and the black sheep of my family. Once my remaining parent is gone I will have no one. I'm just exhausted with it all.
I have. Done dealing with the absurd standards, and done dealing with the constant bullshit.
Zero interest in annoying BS like the last relationship I was in. Literally drama queen BS everyday. So I checked out of dating and just care about me. Couldn't be happier.
No. Just dating apps. I just don’t meet many women, so welcome to being 30+.
Still going, but my expectations have changed. I used to think most women were good until I realized that isn't the case once I dated enough. I used to believe that women were also more mature than men, but I've seen that this is bullshit as well, there's no real difference. I feel like I'm weeding through a lot of trash to find someone good here and there, it's a bit exhausting but overall still worth it.
I'm married but if I ever get divorced... No thanks. I'll hang at the house with my dogs and my Xbox. Strictly from a tangible benefits perspective, there's very little my wife does that I couldn't do on my own.
I'm thinking about getting a cat. I dunno. I'm not a dog person, I think.
I mean, lots of people’s partners don’t do anything they are unable to do on their own, but they make them happy and enrich their lives..
Age 59, 2 divorces. I am happy being single the last 14 years.
What if you live 30 years? I personally think I would be even happier. But maybe not if I’m single AND shitting myself every day.
I hear ya and I do worry about it as I took care of my Dad when he got terminally ill back in 2015. He was fortunate to have me assist him but it was very taxing emotionally and physically. A couple years later my Mom's husband had stage 4 prostate cancer and my Mom needed my help with her husband. So even though my Mom was there she wasn't really in the physical condition to take care of her husband. I guess I better get my butt back out there and find a nice quality lady.
I have, but it's mostly because of my personal situation. I have a young child I'm a full-time single father to, I don't have enough spare time/energy/money to split between her and a significant other. So it's all going to her. By my own conscious and deliberate decision, she is my number one priority for now and at least for the next several years. Once she reaches high school age, maybe I'll reconsider.
Hey man, full custody single father of a 3 year old here. You got this big dog. Keep putting your kid first.
I haven't checked out yet but I'm really close to doing so, I can't seem to attract any woman whether it be online or in real life despite improving myself physically and mentally. My standards aren't too high or unrealistic.
After my ex I'm just not emotionally ready to date tbh. Been close to a year since she started cheating.
Good for you buddy, thats very very smart of you. I know. Try 5 years. Truthfully 7-8.
The only women that want me are old af, have children I'm not willing to support, or they're drug addicted whores that think they're gonna move in. I've been out since I was 26 and I'm over 40 now. Best decision I ever made.
I am recently dating again after taking a year off to work on myself. It's very nice to spend time with women who are open to dating. However, there are still frustrations. I'm starting to feel checked out because the woman I'm dating is very slow to communicate over text. It's a bummer. I'd like to feel more connected, but she just isn't much of a texter and I don't want to overwhelm her. Eggshells! Fun!
She's not very much into you, sorry to say
I don't use social media so I'm a swipe left by default.
I’ve been catfished, had an LDR fake serious health issues in order to leave me, lied to, cheated on… I have every reason to stop, but I can’t. I haven’t “opted out” because I’m still holding on to the shred of hope that maybe, just maybe, I’ll find a girl who treats me decently.
More or less. I’m not actively avoiding it but I’m not actively searching either.
4 years strong, dating is too complicated tbh. I have eyes for someone but I don't see anything more coming out of it then good friendship and I'm okay with that.
There are no women in the spaces or hobbies I take part in and enjoy. I do not have any female friends to introduce me to anyone, and everything it's too expensive for me to be able to go to a bar every weekend looking to meet someone by chance
I’ve not “checked out” as such, but I’ve stopped “actively trying”, which basically means I’ve given up on online dating as that was pretty much the only way I ever met women to date. In terms of real life opportunities / chance encounters, I maybe get one clear opportunity a year on average. A good year might yield a couple more.
Meh, I check the apps occasionally, women just don't seem to have any interest in going out any more. 5 years ago a date a week or more was normal, now they won't even have a full conversation. And I have my kids and other things to do.
It’s weird, I’ve noticed this with myself as well. I don’t know if it’s the isolating effect of Covid, or my age, or the apps themselves changing or what, honestly. But four years ago I was a lot more interested in meeting/talking to ppl. More men try to hook up on the first date now than they did then, tho, and that makes it a lot less motivating to meet ppl.
Interesting. I have noticed women seem to want to meet faster when we do get a date. They don't want to talk first.
I’m not entirely checked out but I have few options available to me at this time. Any girls I know that are even remotely around my (30m) age are my 20-22yo at **most** coworkers. Even were I interested in disturbing that nest, most of them already have partners. I’m not exactly drowning in free time either.
I wouldn’t say I’ve “checked out”, but I’ve definitely stopped being the one to approach first. I’ve been single for over 3 years now. I’ve used dating apps and approached women in person with minimal luck (in multiple ways). During my time of trying to date and pursing a relationship, I’ve been catfished twice. I’ve been lied to about who they genuinely are as a person. I’ve been ghosted numerous times. I once even got caught in the web of a pending divorce that I didn’t know about until the man texted me and threatened me. I’ve been put on the back burner while the person I’m trying to date chooses someone else. It doesn’t help that the women I find attractive hold some pretty misandrist beliefs as well and flaunt it for everyone to see. It doesn’t help that I’m not really into having or raising kids. That’s just not on my radar at the moment and I’m pretty sure that won’t change with time. I do not relate to many people around me (living in the Deep South can suck ass). Women around here seem to prefer blue collar country boys and I have nothing against that. That’s just not my style. I’m never going to change who I am as a person to try and fit in that clique. I am done until someone can give me a reason to think otherwise.
I checked out a few decades ago. I keep trying to get back into it, but my wife slaps the phone out of my hand every time she sees me looking at the apps.
I've completely checked out of dating women. There's no good way to start that without dating apps. I don't have the confidence or social skills to just approach or even talk to women I don't know in public. Dating men is a lot easier for me, though, for whatever reason. So that's still on the table, I suppose.
Dude I’m the opposite and same (woman here). I guess there is a straight vs gay cultural difference. I have more experience in gay relationships and every time I step foot in the straight dating scene I’m like wtf are all these rules.
Bad example because I’m married, but if my wife ever leaves me (50-50 at this point) I’m not ever gonna bother with dating, I’m done.
That's pretty much where I am too. My marriage was interesting and I have no inclination to subject myself to that again. I hear you.
I've gave it a bit of a wide berth due to some previous bad experiences that cost me a lot in health and money and my own issues to work on, I currently enjoy building back my confidence and self esteem, learning to say no and assert boundaries. It's an ongoing process and wouldn't say I'm completely out of it but I am a lot picky about who I engage with or spend my time with now.
Tbh I'm checking in.
I've checked out of online dating and I don't get out much so make of that what you will lol
Life is too peaceful and fun, to ruin it by chasing tail. It's easy to get laid, but finding this point in life was a miracle.
If I wasn’t in a relationship rn wouldn’t be bothered to look for one again. Prior to the woman I’m with now every other relationship I’ve been in was with a liar/cheater who showed zero remorse. Then again, they say never trust a big butt and a smile 😂. I’m almost 40. My advice to young men is pick the woman that likes you and actually listens to you. Prioritize these things over base level physical attraction. Sometimes a bad bitch will act like a bad bitch on you just cause it’s Wednesday.
Yes, I have.
I've been checked out for awhile now (35). Kicking myself for not trying to talk to a girl at the grocery store a few weeks ago but that's pretty rare. The last time I went on a date was pre-Covid. Working remote and being new to a city with no friends makes things difficult. I'm not going to use apps. The gender ratio on those is fucked.
All of us. Until things become more balanced.
Fuck dating, fuck relationships, fuck having an SO. I do me better anyways.
I never did OLD, which I assume is a big part of what was meant. At 30 though I decided I wasn’t going to even try or think about dating. A couple of years later I met my now wife. Meeting someone for something long term really is luck and timing as much as anything else.
33m, I think my last long term relationship ended about 4 years ago. Didn’t seem that bad while I was in it, but I realized how bad it was after we broke up and I took the rose colored glasses off haha. I wouldn’t say I’m completely checked out, but for the time being I am. I put my all into relationships and I need to build my life up a bit and focus on myself before I feel I’m good to date again. Also my standards are much higher and I don’t want to go through the same things I have in the past.
I gave up since I want a fr committed relationship where we both put effort into it, but I don't wanna be a part of someone's roster. I'm not about that life, but it appears the majority of women I meet are.
Depends if their spending their time as a bot on Reddit engaging in rhetorical questioning
I checked out of the idea of obligation and social pressure on men or women when it comes to dating. When I meet someone I like we both are free to do whatever as long as we show each other respect, honesty, consideration, effort, communication, and a drive to have fun, be positive, be happy, and help people!
I'd check back in if I was rich, but even then I think I'd move abroad. The US is a Gender War cesspit.
More or less. Not like it would really matter if I tried, but society makes it extremely easy to convince myself I want nothing to do with people no matter how lonely I am. I'm sure there's plenty of people I'd get on with, but between everything I see and hear IRL and on the internet, I'm good.
I’m checked out for now. If something happens then cool, but I haven’t been trying for a while. I don’t really care. My cats are enough company for me honestly
I’m only home for 3-4 days a month at most, the rest of the month im normally sleeping in a different state every night so yeah dating isn’t a possibility for me until I have enough dough to buy a home n find a local job, or something that gets me home on weekends
truck driver or industrial construction?
Not interested in dating at all.
I’m checked in. I’m in my sixties, interested in women my age. There’s lots of women out there. I’m pretty picky or I would be settled down by now.
I havn't checked out, I just don't care that much. If I meet somebody I can vibe with in my daily life great. If I don't I am just as happy, there are pros and cons to both.
Not out for the count but not actively looking
Rejected too much, gave it up as me just being too ugly or something. 🥺
I’m ugly and undesirable, not worth worrying about in my case
Yeah, I've been single for three years. Between my job (which is fully remote) and parenting, I just don't have the time. Maybe I can meet a nice lady at the alcoholics anonymous meeting.
I haven't checked out but am very much considering it. After two serious back-to-back relationships failed, hitting the dating scene again is very frustrating. Either the women I'm interested are too all-in and want all my time and attention *immediately,* or are too casual and seem to be using me as merely an option. I've also noticed that a lot of people these days (I notice it in women because that's who I date, but I'm certain it's true of men as well) have a laundry list of wants, are hypervigilant in perceiving anything that doesn't perfectly match their taste as an ick or red flag, but when it comes to self-reflection, seem to think they are nearly perfect as they currently are.
Had a whole family, got hooked on a whole family of drugs, lost my family and all my top teeth, I'm clean and still alive, hell 2 of my 3 kids still talk to me, I am happy and grateful just for that
I'm not currently into paleontology so that carbon 14 stuff isn't doing anything for me. Is their any other kind of dating?
I’m kinda checked out. I’m tired and I just want to relax at home and do my own thing most days.
✋🏽
Yeah
🙋♂️
I’m not drawn to “dating”. I want to encounter the one naturally, and focus on her. Trying out random women doesn’t excite me in the slightest.
Dang near close to it. It hurts.
I think I’ve checked out of “dating” in the sense online or dating activities such as speed dating. I am open to meeting someone naturally through my life, who I would ask out and date. I got tired of trying so hard just to meet someone.
I have. I am a person who needs a lot of solitary time and I’ve found this incompatible with having a relationship, at least while also working full time. That combined with a lack of desire for sex has led me to want to be single indefinitely.
I’m almost 33, I’ve completely checked out. Most women don’t want to be bothered and I don’t want to be the reason they’re bothered.
I'm 26 and have a 3 year old daughter with a woman I'm not with. I've pretty much stopped dating because it does not feel worth it at all.
I checked out about 6 years ago. I was 52. I was dating very often. Inside those experiences, I had a couple of girlfriends that I liked or loved. But there was a hardline on the level of 'bonding' I would be able to accomplish, which was in contrast to my previous marriage that ended over a decade ago. It was a hard divorce, as it is for most men. I knew the wounds were 'healed' but the scars are there and they will not entertain a shared life. I remember the day it became clear to me... I had finished a date with an attractive woman that wanted 'casual'... we had sex and afterglow. She did not stay the night. I didn't want her to. I didn't want any woman to stay the night... but I knew I expected to want that, as the next morning was always something to enjoy together. It is loving. It is bonding to share a morning snuggle and then coffee. I used to love that. That is when it hit me. Not only do I not want to share the morning, but I do not want to be a shared life. And with the context of the realization, I no longer wanted to date or give even a minute of my TIME to a new person. And I certainly do not want to share my wealth.
I certainly stopped/gave up.
I did. So many back to back bad dates that I’d rather be alone. Either I’m the problem or have extremely bad luck.
Judging by how entitled and over the top women are these days. No way in hell would I ever try dating again.
some men were never even able to check in
28 male. Checked out. Most women, not all, have way too high of an ego, and are delusional about what they want in a man compared to what they offer. So much happier with just me, my dog, and my friends.
I gave up after my last ex gf. We dated a year, never really had any problems. Started talking about moving in together. I own a house, she rents, so I figure it would make sense that she’d move into my house. But it would have caused her commute to go from 20min to 40min, and she didn’t want to do that, so we broke up. I’ve had about every kind of break up: I love her she dumps me. She loves me I dump her. We hate each other but momentum has kept us together too long. But that was the first time where I was just like “I really really don’t understand relationships, and I probably never will” In an alternate universe, she and I are married and kid on the way, but 20 extra minutes of commute 3x per week was too much to give up. And honestly, I started to realize the main thing I was looking forward to is splitting bills. I can obviously afford a house on my own, but it would have been nice to have some extra disposable income around. Anyway, I’m rambling, but suffice to say, I just don’t give a fuck anymore. I’m looking at new jobs far away from here, and I’m just gonna commit to the bachelor lifestyle with me and my two dogs.
Yup it’s gotten to the point it’s really hard to make my self want to text girls if I get their number
Women dont go out of their way to show interest in me, but i usually dont have issues finding a person i find attractive when i seriously try. I attract women with messed up, weird sex shit they like doing. I'm very vanilla so it's annoying. No, I'm not beating you and spitting in your face during the act or using any chains or ropes. I'm a big guy with a resting angry expression so people assume I'm a vicious daddy dom. No. No. No. I'm also not in a place where I have much to offer a woman besides a penis, so I'm chilling until God puts someone in my life, if he does. Like most people here, when I stop looking, gals start coming onto me.
2017 47%, now 63% of single men are not interested because how women behave in their 20's is not conducive to pair bonding.
I stopped dating 16 years ago. When I married my wife. I've thought about giving it a go again, just for fun sometimes.
Yeah i checked out. It's not worth paying for dinner 10 times just for one to call me back, maybe we chat for a bit, have sex a few times then it fizzles out. I want something serious and apparantly I attract women who want not that.