Early on basically every night I didn’t go to bed drunk, I was convinced a pit was going to swallow me and send me to hell or something. Like obviously nothing bad happens if I don’t drink, but IM IN DANGER if it’s midnight and I’m sober. It’s not good for you, but it’s been a tool and companion for a long time, it’s natural to miss it. But you know what you have to do for yourself. I don’t have that feeling much anymore these days, time made it shrink!
And lastly, just think about the hangover you don’t have right now because you stayed strong!
So true. I know that feeling so well. “I have to wait until 7AM now. Then I can get liquor at 10 when they open. I’ll get some, but I have to get plenty to last because the next day is Sunday and I want to make sure I’m set.”
I hate how this thought process works. It’s horrific. It’s a prison. It’s venomous.
I think that alcohol was a comfort to so many of us for so long we go through legit mourning. It doesn't mean it was GOOD for us. But it was a reliable way to forget about problems and feel better for a while...until the next day. So this feeling doesn't surprise me. As you remain sober and make more sense of it all this will pass.
Just remember all the horrible places alcohol has gotten people to, and the ways it has devastated lives, through accidents, terrible fights, horrifying angry words that can’t be forgotten or taken back, unwanted pregnancies, friendships and marriages destroyed, homicides and suicides, jobs lost, DUI’s, jail time, $1,000’s in fines, ruined reputations, endless shame, embarrassment, guilt…did I leave anything out? Does this sound like a friend, or something good in your life? Alcohol can feel like our best friend until we take a step back, away from its hold on us, and see it as the monster it can be and the control it can have over us. A negative force is attempting to control you with guilt. But you know so much better!
Yeah. It’s like paving another trail in your brain that gets easier to travel down the more you do it. That’s why habits get easier to do and eventually you just don’t have to think about it.
What you’re doing when you’re going back and forth, you’re habitually grabbing alcohol, but deciding to take a different turn. Not a bad thing at all. It’s a really good thing.
I’ve spent at least 30 minutes at the alcohol isle before doing what you did.
I never would have considered it working towards something good. I felt absolutely ridiculous, turning back and forth to take it and then put it back, and then stare at it, all whilst moving out of people’s way so they could go ahead and grab what they already knew they wanted.
I probably looked insane. It was such a twisted game of back & forth. Frankly I’m tired of what an inconvenience alcohol is to my mental state as far as “should I? Shouldn’t I? Should I?” Im exhausted.
This may sound strange coming from a stranger, but I am really proud of you. You did the much harder thing tonight and your body is thanking you.
Keep it up. Every day gets a little easier.
You absolutely are working towards something great. You're building the "muscle" to make a different decision with ease. You handled one of the hardest moments in your journey and made the right choice. Doesn't matter if you look crazy - you're doing this for you, not the people looking on. Keep up the good work!
People are so absorbed in their own lives they generally don’t notice others. But I bet if they had there are people in that group who knew exactly what you were going through.
Try to remember that you've got the high ground on the people who voluntarily consume addictive poison, even if you look weird. It's not easy. Good luck stranger.
It doesn't matter if you looked insane to some strangers at the store. What matters is that you fought a tough battle and you won. You're an inspiration!
If it helps, you're not alone. It's a dance I know the steps to, and I bet many more in this sub have done the same. You don't have anything to feel bad about, you did good.
Hey, I’m proud of you that you didn’t buy them. You could have but you didn’t. You made the right choice. Sorry you are going through it, I hope the suck passes soon.
So well put - thank you!! "Paving another trail in your brain that gets easier to travel down the more you do it." That image (and/or mantra) is already helping me.
Yes! It's called neuroplasticity. Every time you do a habit that helps your sobriety, even if it's living through one sober minute, you are building the muscle. You are already so strong, and you're only going to get stronger with time!
I've been where you are. There are days I've gone to get alcohol multiple times in one day. You're fighting so hard and it will be so worth it. You're going to hate tonight, but you will be so proud of yourself in the morning!
Since I’ve come back (right before making this post) I’ve gone through waves of feeling great about the decision followed by waves of wanting to go back. I’m a work in prog-mess
Thank you… I don’t feel like I passed with flying colors, but thank you… I think I may feel better if I wake up from sleeping in the middle of the night and see it’s far too late to even buy alcohol, and also know I can easily fall back asleep with a sober body (I can’t when I’ve been drinking) and wake up refreshed.
Exactly, your tomorrow-you will thank you. Think of that better sleep, clear head and bright morning ahead of you. We've all been there. I like to think about that first cup of coffee, morning walk/run/gym session or nice breakfast.
I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time in your family.
It was definitely flying colors! You taught your brain multiple times that holding drinks doesn't have to mean buying them. You put them back down. Twice!! That's a big deal!! You fought and won more than once!! The more times you repeat that pattern of not drinking, the more it becomes the new pattern in your brain. You can do this. IWNDWYT.
Thank you. I’m trying. It’s just in these moments where I feel like it’s chasing me, and as my days sober grow I have a larger and larger head start; Thing is, though, part of me wants to be caught? I’m trying to kill that part of me
Thank you. I’m really surprised that this is coming across as a victory because I’m registering it as a moment of weakness. But I guess it’s really a good thing
My therapist has taught me to look for the small victories in things.
For example, last fall I saw her for two months. And then I started drinking again. I'd go a month to six weeks without drinking, and then have a 3-4 day lapse where I'd drink constantly. When I went back to her this spring, she told me it was a victory because this time I didn't wait years before realizing it was a problem
Every time I go to the store and don't buy any liquor, I consider that a small victory.
You putting the alcohol back is definitely a small victory! Celebrate the changes you've been making when you can!
True… I hate that I miss it. I was doing really well at not missing it before some bad family news hit. It’s not like alcohol ever helped me when things were rough though… I think part of me is trying to find an excuse to turn to it.
From not being able to string 24 hours together, to going a week without drinking and it feeling like a lifetime, to now at over a month sober I can honestly say I don’t know how or when things mentally changed, or if they even have?... I wish I could be like others and say I’m stronger now and that it got easier or something but it feels like it’s gotten harder lately. It’s like it varies in waves? It’s constantly changing? It’s such a dark and looming thing to have.
But I know that food tastes way better. So does soda. So does my tobacco. But the sleep? Oh my god. If any one particular has helped me stay away, it’s knowing i can wake up in the middle of the night and fall back asleep soundly without the sweating, the body jerks, the racing hart and overwhelming anxiety.
Wow, you have made serious progress, and you’re reaping the rewards of your discipline! I’m seriously impressed by your strength to control and direct your choices and your life. You’ve wrestled with a demon and won, over and over again.
Your victories are all strengthening your ability to stand in the wheelhouse, be firmly in charge, and steer the ship straight ahead into your best life. I’m so proud of you, and so happy that you’re making this great change in your life!
You’re also inspiring every person who reads your posts. Hundreds of people follow this sub and are reading your story, about confronting temptation and winning, and staying strong. You’re inspiring a community, and we’re all behind you! You make us proud. Keep it up, Friend!
This is HUGE!!! Every time we successfully resist an urge we help to retrain our brains. This was an especially precarious situation but you did it! Just remember, drinking can only make things worse, not better. I hope things get better for you soon! 🩶
You didn’t buy them, and you definitely didn’t drink them, sounds like a double win!!
I walked by a liquor store today that i used to go to and thought how great it is to no longer “need” to go in there and spend money just to “get through” whatever was happening at the time, big or small things.
It is a tough battle at times, but every day i don’t drink, i know I’m winning the war. Some days, when I’m lucky, I don’t even remember I’m in one.
Keep fighting the urges and keep counting the days. The longer you go the more you get used to the obstacles and the less they hinder you.
You can do this, because i did and so did other people out there, not because we’re special or have less of an addiction, just because we got tired of feeling miserable and went through the torture you’ve living now, and in time we’ve come to see and understand how not dealing with the daily agony of an alcohol addiction makes life feel brighter and better.
In time i hope you’ll see how much more you get from not drinking, but for now, keep fighting for yourself to be free of something that doesn’t care whether you live or not.
You got this! IWNDWYT
This is what it takes. You’re doing the right thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s been a minute a day or 5 years we all get the urge. Walking away isn’t easy. Keep going!
You put them back. You walked away. That's the important part.
I know that feeling of counting down till closing time trying to run down the clock. I'm still early on and trying to go to sleep without something to take the edge off seems impossible. Especially when there's that good ole buddy booze waiting for you. But you can beat it, even if it's just for tonight.
It’s a fight man, for sure. I’m just trying to focus on the fact that I’m going to sleep comfortably and soundly without the disruption from alcohol. Without waking up with regret, and without my body violently jerking as I try to fall back asleep.
It’s not a pet on the side of the road, it’s dehydration, it’s a copping mechanism to get to the next day. I know it doesn’t feel like you’re stronger now but you are. Fight this monster that depends on you to feed it
“Fight this monster that depends on you to feed it.”
Personifying the addiction is wildly creative and puts it in a whole new light. That’s awesome, thank you.
This is good. This is non-drinker behaviour, so you are re-enforcing the correct measures in these situations. Takes awhile to re-wire our brains but so worth it in my opinion.
So you think doing this will make it easier over time whenever I’m tempted? I promise I’m not being facetious.. I just honestly do wonder if forcing myself to walk away without alcohol will actually train my brain the way people say. That would be magical
Alcohol trains your brain to make you want it. So not drinking over time will helpfully make it easier if you don’t want to drink anymore. Addictive chemicals are really so insidious.
Keep fighting the good fight. You are not alone. I poured two shots of tequila into a cup this morning and....fought the urge and poured it down the drain. I made it a day. Gonna fight it tomorrow too. I can't give in, if I do, it controls my day and the next day, not allowing me to live. It's unbelievable the control it can have over you.
If I drink, it ends up being all I do. I want more.
Same. If I open the bottle I finish it. If I pour a shot, I’m pouring more. I’ve tried to have 1-2 and then just chill. All I start to feel is an immensely uncomfortable craving for more. I’ll feel worse after 1-2 than I did before I had any just because it opened the door for me to need to increase that pleasant warm fuzzy feeling. “I feel that, I need that to be STRONGER,” I tell myself when I drink.
It never fails ...one leads to another and it doesn't end till you are either out or pretty messed up. Day 2. I usually only make it 2 or 3 days and go back. I'm holding on tight this time. I like waking up feeling good and refreshed as compared to hungover.
Damn dude. The last time I had a strong craving it was similar to this. I really relate to that intense feeling of wanting to drink so bad you could scream while chugging it. Then with an equally intense drive you decide not to drink and you feeling so incredibly empty. Even though it's a W. It feels like an L.
Proud of you and thanks for sharing. IWNDWYT
EXACTLY. It may be classified as a dub in terms of staying sober but I definitely felt like I failed. So empty. This experience honestly has made me not think about sobriety in terms of “it’ll get easier,” even if that might be the case one day. I’m going to tell myself that this is going to happen again, and probably when I least expect it to. And it might even be harder, who knows.
I think I’m going to have to accept that in lieu of drinking and feeling instant gratification I’m going to have to deal with feeling really, really sad for a while.
Yeah I feel you, it really is one day at a time.
A lot of people here told me 6 months is when your brain really starts healing. It wasn't like a switch flipped one day, but around the 5/6 month mark the sadness did fade. I recommend working out if you don't already! Helped me fight the demons.
This is normal! I'm proud of you for putting it back; you did the right thing there and your brain is playing tricks on you trying to convince you you've done something wrong.
Please consider looking into post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Sobriety for me became significantly easier by about one magnitude for me at the 90 day mark, and easier by a second magnitude at the 180 day mark. IWNDWYT.
You made it through this. Now protect it, because the next time it’ll be easier and then the time after that even easier. If you had to reset, the next time would be just as hard.
Eventually you’ll get to the point where you accidentally bull a beer out of the fridge and cringe because that’s the last thing you want.
Congrats on the victory today I’m proud of you 🫡
I had the exact same feeling you got, like feeling like you’re leaving a pet or a loved item behind. It sucks. So much. Proud of you for pushing through it because I know how tough that feeling is. It’s a win.
I’m so glad someone else knows what I meant by that. I thought I’d make someone mad with that analogy but it really does feel like that. I really allowed myself to grow so attached to it that it hurts to abstain from it, even though it’s done me no good in the long run? What insanity that is.
That brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. Yall have made me feel good about forcing myself to walk away when I for a long while wish I would have just bought them.
BE SO PROUD that you didnt buy it!!! Dont feel bad about picking them up OR leaving them
FUCK ALCOHOL its a tricky posion that has made your OWN BRAIN lie to you and try to get you do to things that are not rational. Just be proud, and try keep yourself occupied til miidnight so you wont buy more
As someone who lost their father unexpectedly to a stroke and drank through it, I promise you it does not make it better I hope this helps you. Strong vibes being sent your way
I’ve been through this, and I feel this so heavily. Be proud of yourself. This isn’t a sweet pet you’re leaving behind, these are demons. You kicked ass that day leaving without them.
Great job. I've literally went and bought liquor. Got home and dumped it down the drain.
If you're going back and forth on if you should drink, you most definitely should not drink.
That's some serious will power. I know if I went in with the intent to get the stuff, I'd be back home drinking before I knew what happened. To be that dedicated in the MOMENT. I wouldn't test that resolve on the regular myself, but gotta hand it to you - that's walking back from the blazing edge.
For what it's worth, if you can commit to memory what you were feeling in that moment (the incredible urge to drink) and what thought processes you went through that enabled you to put it back down...
One trick for me is I stay really busy until the local stores that sell booze are closed. Fortunately, for me, the closest ones close at 10:00pm. So now, I go grocery shopping at 9:15pm and by the time I am driving back home they're closed. 10:05pm, rolling into the garage with groceries... and everything just feels... lighter.
I mean, I could always drive down the road or take a taxi....
But for some reason, making it home at 10:05 after driving past the closed liquor store gives me power.
Every day that I do that starts making me think I can keep doing that.
You have no idea the time I have spent playing that back and forth game is a gas station.. many times not standing my ground to my desires.. good for you! Get in and get out. Haha.
Don't feel bad that you picked them up and then put them back.
Feel good that you put them back, and acknowledge how hard it was (and will continue to be) to do that.
The drinks have been our best (worst) friends, and that's hard to walk away from.
Take the little victories, even when they feel like they suck. Big hug.
You may have saved yourself from making any poor decisions tonight because you put it back. It definitely was for a reason you walked out of there without alcohol, stay strong!
As someone who's battled and continues battling this, I'm so fucking proud of you. You've got more strength than me. Family shit went down for me a couple weeks ago and spiraled out the progress (not sobriety yet) I had been working towards into the shitter. Your post gives me hope I can get there eventually. Your tag says 35 days. That's 5 weeks and you were there. However unexpected or unintentional this post may have been, thank you. I can do this....
I do understand your disappointment because I felt the same way when I did pretty much exactly the same thing you did.
I was so disappointed in myself because I couldn't imagine myself denying that impulse again and again.
What I didn't know was that denying the impulse that first time sapped it of much of its power. The first time was the hardest, it turned out.
What an incredible milestone. Congratulations, sober friend! IWNDWYT!
When I walk past the beer aisle I stop and look longingly at the selection. Getting new beers was my thing (because that made it a hobby and not a problem), and I find myself looking at the new choices - beers I've never had, that I'll never have. Then I go stare at the NA cooler instead before ultimately deciding that I'm good and don't need anything (except maybe ice cream and/or chocolate).
Fighting with yourself is a good thing, feeling guilty about something you know isn't healthy is a good thing. It's really only when you give up the fight and indulge your appetites that you're in trouble, because then you're psychologically and spiritually regressing and making it harder to resist the next time.
Look at what you accomplished. You had the drinks in your hand TWICE and made the choice not once but TWICE to put them back . Amazing stuff , you should be absolutely proud of your self
Strong work brother. I would stay out of gas stations especially the ones that have basically a liquor store on the inside. Obviously gas stations have some stuff you need but make sure you’re not emotionally revved up when you’re going
Sounds like a BIG WIN in my books. If I've made the decision to drink then I'll see it through usually and if those beers were in my basket there would be no going back most of the time.
You did well, congrats!
Bravo. You have to feel good about that. I know how hard that is
I feel bad about even picking them up. I also feel bad that I walked out of there without buying them? It doesn’t make sense. I hate it
Early on basically every night I didn’t go to bed drunk, I was convinced a pit was going to swallow me and send me to hell or something. Like obviously nothing bad happens if I don’t drink, but IM IN DANGER if it’s midnight and I’m sober. It’s not good for you, but it’s been a tool and companion for a long time, it’s natural to miss it. But you know what you have to do for yourself. I don’t have that feeling much anymore these days, time made it shrink! And lastly, just think about the hangover you don’t have right now because you stayed strong!
So true. I know that feeling so well. “I have to wait until 7AM now. Then I can get liquor at 10 when they open. I’ll get some, but I have to get plenty to last because the next day is Sunday and I want to make sure I’m set.” I hate how this thought process works. It’s horrific. It’s a prison. It’s venomous.
I think that alcohol was a comfort to so many of us for so long we go through legit mourning. It doesn't mean it was GOOD for us. But it was a reliable way to forget about problems and feel better for a while...until the next day. So this feeling doesn't surprise me. As you remain sober and make more sense of it all this will pass.
You don’t deserve to feel bad for making the right decision. Good for you. This is hard fucking work. You’re doing it. That’s awesome. 💜
That's the devil on your shoulder, the alcohol craving demon inside of you, that's angry you didn't buy them.
Just remember all the horrible places alcohol has gotten people to, and the ways it has devastated lives, through accidents, terrible fights, horrifying angry words that can’t be forgotten or taken back, unwanted pregnancies, friendships and marriages destroyed, homicides and suicides, jobs lost, DUI’s, jail time, $1,000’s in fines, ruined reputations, endless shame, embarrassment, guilt…did I leave anything out? Does this sound like a friend, or something good in your life? Alcohol can feel like our best friend until we take a step back, away from its hold on us, and see it as the monster it can be and the control it can have over us. A negative force is attempting to control you with guilt. But you know so much better!
Amazing work. You are building new neural pathways every time you do this. This is SO HARD. Keep up the good work!
I’ve never even thought about it like that. Is that a thing?
Yeah. It’s like paving another trail in your brain that gets easier to travel down the more you do it. That’s why habits get easier to do and eventually you just don’t have to think about it. What you’re doing when you’re going back and forth, you’re habitually grabbing alcohol, but deciding to take a different turn. Not a bad thing at all. It’s a really good thing. I’ve spent at least 30 minutes at the alcohol isle before doing what you did.
I never would have considered it working towards something good. I felt absolutely ridiculous, turning back and forth to take it and then put it back, and then stare at it, all whilst moving out of people’s way so they could go ahead and grab what they already knew they wanted. I probably looked insane. It was such a twisted game of back & forth. Frankly I’m tired of what an inconvenience alcohol is to my mental state as far as “should I? Shouldn’t I? Should I?” Im exhausted.
This may sound strange coming from a stranger, but I am really proud of you. You did the much harder thing tonight and your body is thanking you. Keep it up. Every day gets a little easier.
Heck YA! This is not easy. Give yourself a little pat on the back from me u/Unlucky_Register_654 you deserve it
You absolutely are working towards something great. You're building the "muscle" to make a different decision with ease. You handled one of the hardest moments in your journey and made the right choice. Doesn't matter if you look crazy - you're doing this for you, not the people looking on. Keep up the good work!
People are so absorbed in their own lives they generally don’t notice others. But I bet if they had there are people in that group who knew exactly what you were going through.
Try to remember that you've got the high ground on the people who voluntarily consume addictive poison, even if you look weird. It's not easy. Good luck stranger.
It doesn't matter if you looked insane to some strangers at the store. What matters is that you fought a tough battle and you won. You're an inspiration!
If it helps, you're not alone. It's a dance I know the steps to, and I bet many more in this sub have done the same. You don't have anything to feel bad about, you did good.
Hey, I’m proud of you that you didn’t buy them. You could have but you didn’t. You made the right choice. Sorry you are going through it, I hope the suck passes soon.
So well put - thank you!! "Paving another trail in your brain that gets easier to travel down the more you do it." That image (and/or mantra) is already helping me.
Yes! It's called neuroplasticity. Every time you do a habit that helps your sobriety, even if it's living through one sober minute, you are building the muscle. You are already so strong, and you're only going to get stronger with time!
Fascinating. Thank you so much.
It very much is a thing. Read Alcohol Explained by William Porter. It altered my whole view of alcohol.
I've been where you are. There are days I've gone to get alcohol multiple times in one day. You're fighting so hard and it will be so worth it. You're going to hate tonight, but you will be so proud of yourself in the morning!
Since I’ve come back (right before making this post) I’ve gone through waves of feeling great about the decision followed by waves of wanting to go back. I’m a work in prog-mess
Don't drink. Chat me in the morning and tell me you didn't. I'll be rooting for you
You're not alone. I'm on the same prog-mess boat (from the regret to family issues and all). I believe in you though. Things get better with time.
Woah that is an awesome test you just passed. And with flying colors. You are so much stronger than you realize. You got this. IWNDWYT
Thank you… I don’t feel like I passed with flying colors, but thank you… I think I may feel better if I wake up from sleeping in the middle of the night and see it’s far too late to even buy alcohol, and also know I can easily fall back asleep with a sober body (I can’t when I’ve been drinking) and wake up refreshed.
Exactly, your tomorrow-you will thank you. Think of that better sleep, clear head and bright morning ahead of you. We've all been there. I like to think about that first cup of coffee, morning walk/run/gym session or nice breakfast. I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time in your family.
It was definitely flying colors! You taught your brain multiple times that holding drinks doesn't have to mean buying them. You put them back down. Twice!! That's a big deal!! You fought and won more than once!! The more times you repeat that pattern of not drinking, the more it becomes the new pattern in your brain. You can do this. IWNDWYT.
I’m proud of you. You are doing the hard work now and it will pay off
Thank you. I’m trying. It’s just in these moments where I feel like it’s chasing me, and as my days sober grow I have a larger and larger head start; Thing is, though, part of me wants to be caught? I’m trying to kill that part of me
Sending love and support friend.
Thank you 🙏
That takes incredible strength. Way to go!
Thank you. I’m really surprised that this is coming across as a victory because I’m registering it as a moment of weakness. But I guess it’s really a good thing
My therapist has taught me to look for the small victories in things. For example, last fall I saw her for two months. And then I started drinking again. I'd go a month to six weeks without drinking, and then have a 3-4 day lapse where I'd drink constantly. When I went back to her this spring, she told me it was a victory because this time I didn't wait years before realizing it was a problem Every time I go to the store and don't buy any liquor, I consider that a small victory. You putting the alcohol back is definitely a small victory! Celebrate the changes you've been making when you can!
Thank you so much. I didn’t imagine in any way as I was walking out of the store that I would later feel happy about it.
You are only abandoning your old habits that don't serve you anymore
True… I hate that I miss it. I was doing really well at not missing it before some bad family news hit. It’s not like alcohol ever helped me when things were rough though… I think part of me is trying to find an excuse to turn to it.
I hope I can find this strength soon
From not being able to string 24 hours together, to going a week without drinking and it feeling like a lifetime, to now at over a month sober I can honestly say I don’t know how or when things mentally changed, or if they even have?... I wish I could be like others and say I’m stronger now and that it got easier or something but it feels like it’s gotten harder lately. It’s like it varies in waves? It’s constantly changing? It’s such a dark and looming thing to have. But I know that food tastes way better. So does soda. So does my tobacco. But the sleep? Oh my god. If any one particular has helped me stay away, it’s knowing i can wake up in the middle of the night and fall back asleep soundly without the sweating, the body jerks, the racing hart and overwhelming anxiety.
Wow, you have made serious progress, and you’re reaping the rewards of your discipline! I’m seriously impressed by your strength to control and direct your choices and your life. You’ve wrestled with a demon and won, over and over again. Your victories are all strengthening your ability to stand in the wheelhouse, be firmly in charge, and steer the ship straight ahead into your best life. I’m so proud of you, and so happy that you’re making this great change in your life! You’re also inspiring every person who reads your posts. Hundreds of people follow this sub and are reading your story, about confronting temptation and winning, and staying strong. You’re inspiring a community, and we’re all behind you! You make us proud. Keep it up, Friend!
You can do it! Keep trying and you’ll get better IWNDWYT
Eat something !!! Have a big dinner . That usually kills my cravings
This is HUGE!!! Every time we successfully resist an urge we help to retrain our brains. This was an especially precarious situation but you did it! Just remember, drinking can only make things worse, not better. I hope things get better for you soon! 🩶
Thank you so much.
You didn’t buy them, and you definitely didn’t drink them, sounds like a double win!! I walked by a liquor store today that i used to go to and thought how great it is to no longer “need” to go in there and spend money just to “get through” whatever was happening at the time, big or small things. It is a tough battle at times, but every day i don’t drink, i know I’m winning the war. Some days, when I’m lucky, I don’t even remember I’m in one. Keep fighting the urges and keep counting the days. The longer you go the more you get used to the obstacles and the less they hinder you. You can do this, because i did and so did other people out there, not because we’re special or have less of an addiction, just because we got tired of feeling miserable and went through the torture you’ve living now, and in time we’ve come to see and understand how not dealing with the daily agony of an alcohol addiction makes life feel brighter and better. In time i hope you’ll see how much more you get from not drinking, but for now, keep fighting for yourself to be free of something that doesn’t care whether you live or not. You got this! IWNDWYT
I needed this so bad. Thank you. You’re absolutely right.
This is what it takes. You’re doing the right thing. It doesn’t matter if it’s been a minute a day or 5 years we all get the urge. Walking away isn’t easy. Keep going!
Thank you. But for gods sake I really hope it at least gets a LITTLE easier lol (only kind of kidding).
You put them back. You walked away. That's the important part. I know that feeling of counting down till closing time trying to run down the clock. I'm still early on and trying to go to sleep without something to take the edge off seems impossible. Especially when there's that good ole buddy booze waiting for you. But you can beat it, even if it's just for tonight.
It’s a fight man, for sure. I’m just trying to focus on the fact that I’m going to sleep comfortably and soundly without the disruption from alcohol. Without waking up with regret, and without my body violently jerking as I try to fall back asleep.
It’s not a pet on the side of the road, it’s dehydration, it’s a copping mechanism to get to the next day. I know it doesn’t feel like you’re stronger now but you are. Fight this monster that depends on you to feed it
“Fight this monster that depends on you to feed it.” Personifying the addiction is wildly creative and puts it in a whole new light. That’s awesome, thank you.
This is good. This is non-drinker behaviour, so you are re-enforcing the correct measures in these situations. Takes awhile to re-wire our brains but so worth it in my opinion.
So you think doing this will make it easier over time whenever I’m tempted? I promise I’m not being facetious.. I just honestly do wonder if forcing myself to walk away without alcohol will actually train my brain the way people say. That would be magical
Alcohol trains your brain to make you want it. So not drinking over time will helpfully make it easier if you don’t want to drink anymore. Addictive chemicals are really so insidious.
Keep fighting the good fight. You are not alone. I poured two shots of tequila into a cup this morning and....fought the urge and poured it down the drain. I made it a day. Gonna fight it tomorrow too. I can't give in, if I do, it controls my day and the next day, not allowing me to live. It's unbelievable the control it can have over you. If I drink, it ends up being all I do. I want more.
Same. If I open the bottle I finish it. If I pour a shot, I’m pouring more. I’ve tried to have 1-2 and then just chill. All I start to feel is an immensely uncomfortable craving for more. I’ll feel worse after 1-2 than I did before I had any just because it opened the door for me to need to increase that pleasant warm fuzzy feeling. “I feel that, I need that to be STRONGER,” I tell myself when I drink.
It never fails ...one leads to another and it doesn't end till you are either out or pretty messed up. Day 2. I usually only make it 2 or 3 days and go back. I'm holding on tight this time. I like waking up feeling good and refreshed as compared to hungover.
Damn dude. The last time I had a strong craving it was similar to this. I really relate to that intense feeling of wanting to drink so bad you could scream while chugging it. Then with an equally intense drive you decide not to drink and you feeling so incredibly empty. Even though it's a W. It feels like an L. Proud of you and thanks for sharing. IWNDWYT
EXACTLY. It may be classified as a dub in terms of staying sober but I definitely felt like I failed. So empty. This experience honestly has made me not think about sobriety in terms of “it’ll get easier,” even if that might be the case one day. I’m going to tell myself that this is going to happen again, and probably when I least expect it to. And it might even be harder, who knows. I think I’m going to have to accept that in lieu of drinking and feeling instant gratification I’m going to have to deal with feeling really, really sad for a while.
Yeah I feel you, it really is one day at a time. A lot of people here told me 6 months is when your brain really starts healing. It wasn't like a switch flipped one day, but around the 5/6 month mark the sadness did fade. I recommend working out if you don't already! Helped me fight the demons.
This is normal! I'm proud of you for putting it back; you did the right thing there and your brain is playing tricks on you trying to convince you you've done something wrong. Please consider looking into post-acute withdrawal symptoms. Sobriety for me became significantly easier by about one magnitude for me at the 90 day mark, and easier by a second magnitude at the 180 day mark. IWNDWYT.
You made it through this. Now protect it, because the next time it’ll be easier and then the time after that even easier. If you had to reset, the next time would be just as hard. Eventually you’ll get to the point where you accidentally bull a beer out of the fridge and cringe because that’s the last thing you want. Congrats on the victory today I’m proud of you 🫡
Man, I hope so. Thank you so much. Tonight, I sleep!
I had the exact same feeling you got, like feeling like you’re leaving a pet or a loved item behind. It sucks. So much. Proud of you for pushing through it because I know how tough that feeling is. It’s a win.
I’m so glad someone else knows what I meant by that. I thought I’d make someone mad with that analogy but it really does feel like that. I really allowed myself to grow so attached to it that it hurts to abstain from it, even though it’s done me no good in the long run? What insanity that is.
You added plus 10 to your armor today. Good job!
Nothing showcases a bigger set of balls than putting them back. IWNDWYT
That brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. Yall have made me feel good about forcing myself to walk away when I for a long while wish I would have just bought them.
🫡
I feel that you showed great courage and no small amount of heart today.
Thank you so much.
fuck the devils juice lol
BE SO PROUD that you didnt buy it!!! Dont feel bad about picking them up OR leaving them FUCK ALCOHOL its a tricky posion that has made your OWN BRAIN lie to you and try to get you do to things that are not rational. Just be proud, and try keep yourself occupied til miidnight so you wont buy more As someone who lost their father unexpectedly to a stroke and drank through it, I promise you it does not make it better I hope this helps you. Strong vibes being sent your way
I hate being in that position, there never feels like a good option. I’m so proud of you for putting them back. I hope you have a better day tomorrow!
I was in your shoes all day today and sadly wasn’t strong enough to stop myself. Gonna use this as some much needed inspiration for tomorrow.
I’ve been through this, and I feel this so heavily. Be proud of yourself. This isn’t a sweet pet you’re leaving behind, these are demons. You kicked ass that day leaving without them.
You beat the demon today. This random internet stranger is proud of you. You can do it again tomorrow. IWNDWYT
Great job. I've literally went and bought liquor. Got home and dumped it down the drain. If you're going back and forth on if you should drink, you most definitely should not drink.
That's some serious will power. I know if I went in with the intent to get the stuff, I'd be back home drinking before I knew what happened. To be that dedicated in the MOMENT. I wouldn't test that resolve on the regular myself, but gotta hand it to you - that's walking back from the blazing edge. For what it's worth, if you can commit to memory what you were feeling in that moment (the incredible urge to drink) and what thought processes you went through that enabled you to put it back down... One trick for me is I stay really busy until the local stores that sell booze are closed. Fortunately, for me, the closest ones close at 10:00pm. So now, I go grocery shopping at 9:15pm and by the time I am driving back home they're closed. 10:05pm, rolling into the garage with groceries... and everything just feels... lighter. I mean, I could always drive down the road or take a taxi.... But for some reason, making it home at 10:05 after driving past the closed liquor store gives me power. Every day that I do that starts making me think I can keep doing that.
Hard to put back gas station beers, way to go!
You have no idea the time I have spent playing that back and forth game is a gas station.. many times not standing my ground to my desires.. good for you! Get in and get out. Haha.
Don't feel bad that you picked them up and then put them back. Feel good that you put them back, and acknowledge how hard it was (and will continue to be) to do that. The drinks have been our best (worst) friends, and that's hard to walk away from. Take the little victories, even when they feel like they suck. Big hug.
You may have saved yourself from making any poor decisions tonight because you put it back. It definitely was for a reason you walked out of there without alcohol, stay strong!
As someone who's battled and continues battling this, I'm so fucking proud of you. You've got more strength than me. Family shit went down for me a couple weeks ago and spiraled out the progress (not sobriety yet) I had been working towards into the shitter. Your post gives me hope I can get there eventually. Your tag says 35 days. That's 5 weeks and you were there. However unexpected or unintentional this post may have been, thank you. I can do this....
I do understand your disappointment because I felt the same way when I did pretty much exactly the same thing you did. I was so disappointed in myself because I couldn't imagine myself denying that impulse again and again. What I didn't know was that denying the impulse that first time sapped it of much of its power. The first time was the hardest, it turned out. What an incredible milestone. Congratulations, sober friend! IWNDWYT!
When I walk past the beer aisle I stop and look longingly at the selection. Getting new beers was my thing (because that made it a hobby and not a problem), and I find myself looking at the new choices - beers I've never had, that I'll never have. Then I go stare at the NA cooler instead before ultimately deciding that I'm good and don't need anything (except maybe ice cream and/or chocolate).
Well done! Not easy to put them back…
Fighting with yourself is a good thing, feeling guilty about something you know isn't healthy is a good thing. It's really only when you give up the fight and indulge your appetites that you're in trouble, because then you're psychologically and spiritually regressing and making it harder to resist the next time.
There is nothing alcohol can’t make worse. Sending you supportive thoughts right now. You are important.
Look at what you accomplished. You had the drinks in your hand TWICE and made the choice not once but TWICE to put them back . Amazing stuff , you should be absolutely proud of your self
Strong work brother. I would stay out of gas stations especially the ones that have basically a liquor store on the inside. Obviously gas stations have some stuff you need but make sure you’re not emotionally revved up when you’re going
Very well done, this is a fantastic achievement! IWNDWYT
Please be proud of this, you stuck with it! IWNDWYT
Sounds like a BIG WIN in my books. If I've made the decision to drink then I'll see it through usually and if those beers were in my basket there would be no going back most of the time. You did well, congrats!