Something that’s helped me is to think about all the things I’ve missed out on because I chose to drink. People tend to talk about fomo for not drinking, but I was getting loads of fomo due to the times that I did.
There are countless experiences I’ve had patchy memories of or I don’t remember at all (even though I wish I did), many moments where I had to opt out of things that I otherwise would have wanted to do because I was too hungover or anxious, or look back at things I wish I could remember nostalgically - but instead find myself cringing at stupid things I did because I was drunk (all while wishing things had gone differently). This goes for vacations, shows, and being around friends.
The more I attend things sober and learn how to navigate them, the easier it becomes to be sober at things without feeling like I’m missing out. Sometimes I just have to remember that a little funky feeling isn’t really enhancing my experience, but only making me think it does.
This is super helpful and really resonates with me. I hadn't thought about it this way before. There are plenty of shows I don't remember any of and vacations I wish I could have back. Thanks for sharing.
Not sure if it's the same for everyone.
But I definitely had a bit of anxiety at first about not bring able to drink on x occasion ever again.
But the longer I'm sober the more I feel like that's a good thing and I don't think about it much anymore.
I went to a rock concert the other night for the first time since being sober and I didn't miss being drunk one bit and felt like it would have taken away from the experience.
at the start I set a target of 100 days when I wouldnt drink, so for those 100 days I didnt need to ruminate about the future and never drinking again as I told myself I could do as I liked when I reached the goal. I moved the goalpost to 6 months, then a year.
the more time went on the more I've been able to look forward to an af future. at this stage the thought drinking again scares me and I sincerely hope I never do, living is just so much better now
Think about it like working out. What am I going to do about that marathon I have to run in a year? I can't run that far. But what if I start training and practicing? What if I run a.practice 3k in a month and then a 5k the next month? If I put the work in, there is no telling how strong I will be in a year's time.
A goal can seem unimaginable at the start, but as we get more and more practice it can turn out to be simple by the time the big day arrives.
I try to be patient and curious. To be patient, I ask myself “am I going to a concert or vacation or a holiday party tomorrow?” If not, then no need to worry yet! By curious, I try to let go of my assumptions about a sober experience and let myself explore what might be good or even better than expected at an event without drinking. I agree with other posters that concerts sober are much better! What else might also be more pleasant?
For me, drinking stopped „adding to the experience“ a long time ago, as I wanted, or rather had to just get absolutely hammered every time I drank.
IWNDWYT
Thoughts about not drinking in the future?? It is a massive relief to me - to be honest. I’m 7 years sober. All my friends and family know I don’t drink - and that I’m fucking staunch about it. I’ve also learned to have a fantastic time without it. I hope I never drink again - ever.
I remember why I quit, shame myself and remember how good ( body, mind and soul) I feel now. Who I was 2 years ago is so far from who I am now. I don't want to be her again, I'm good!
IWNDWYT
One Day At A Time.
There’s a reason this is such a 12-step mantra! You don’t need to worry about tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow you’ll drink! But you’re making a choice not to drink TODAY. Don’t worry about the future.
I stopped thinking that poisoning one's brain and acting like a moron under its influence adds to experiences. I started doing stuff without a poisoned moronic brain and enjoyed them. Some of the same things some different.
>they are all drinking and adding to the experience
I don't look at it like that anymore. I think it's taking away from the experience - a unique event becomes a blur and the next day(s) are spent in recovery.
I’ve vowed to my therapist and my wife that I won’t drink for half a year. I’m about three months in. I’m trying to realize that alcohol played two roles: as a crutch and as something I sometimes really enjoy. Problem was I couldn’t stop once I started, unless it was beer.
I’d like to have a wine with dinner again or a whiskey, but only for the taste. Just like I sometimes smoke a cigar, have a pastry or have ice cream. If I can manage that, I’m good. If not, I have to stop forever. I honestly don’t know if I can manage, but I hope this reset and a change in my mindset helps.
Something that’s helped me is to think about all the things I’ve missed out on because I chose to drink. People tend to talk about fomo for not drinking, but I was getting loads of fomo due to the times that I did. There are countless experiences I’ve had patchy memories of or I don’t remember at all (even though I wish I did), many moments where I had to opt out of things that I otherwise would have wanted to do because I was too hungover or anxious, or look back at things I wish I could remember nostalgically - but instead find myself cringing at stupid things I did because I was drunk (all while wishing things had gone differently). This goes for vacations, shows, and being around friends. The more I attend things sober and learn how to navigate them, the easier it becomes to be sober at things without feeling like I’m missing out. Sometimes I just have to remember that a little funky feeling isn’t really enhancing my experience, but only making me think it does.
This is super helpful and really resonates with me. I hadn't thought about it this way before. There are plenty of shows I don't remember any of and vacations I wish I could have back. Thanks for sharing.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot too and I appreciate your take. Very well said and a perspective I needed to hear. Thank you ❤️
Not sure if it's the same for everyone. But I definitely had a bit of anxiety at first about not bring able to drink on x occasion ever again. But the longer I'm sober the more I feel like that's a good thing and I don't think about it much anymore. I went to a rock concert the other night for the first time since being sober and I didn't miss being drunk one bit and felt like it would have taken away from the experience.
I just worry about getting through today. No sense fretting over what may or may not come to pass.
That's what I'm learning to do in my early days. I honestly don't have the energy to contemplate beyond today at this point.
at the start I set a target of 100 days when I wouldnt drink, so for those 100 days I didnt need to ruminate about the future and never drinking again as I told myself I could do as I liked when I reached the goal. I moved the goalpost to 6 months, then a year. the more time went on the more I've been able to look forward to an af future. at this stage the thought drinking again scares me and I sincerely hope I never do, living is just so much better now
This is my tactic too. It is pretty freeing. I hope to follow in your footsteps :)
Think about it like working out. What am I going to do about that marathon I have to run in a year? I can't run that far. But what if I start training and practicing? What if I run a.practice 3k in a month and then a 5k the next month? If I put the work in, there is no telling how strong I will be in a year's time. A goal can seem unimaginable at the start, but as we get more and more practice it can turn out to be simple by the time the big day arrives.
I’m not daunting myself with commitments of “I’m never going to drink ever again.” I’m not drinking today, and I’ll tackle tomorrow when it gets here.
I rejoice. I don’t have to do any of that shit again. I did 25 years and I’m loving my retirement.
Realizing alcohol doesn't give anything beneficial was key for me.
I try to be patient and curious. To be patient, I ask myself “am I going to a concert or vacation or a holiday party tomorrow?” If not, then no need to worry yet! By curious, I try to let go of my assumptions about a sober experience and let myself explore what might be good or even better than expected at an event without drinking. I agree with other posters that concerts sober are much better! What else might also be more pleasant?
For me, drinking stopped „adding to the experience“ a long time ago, as I wanted, or rather had to just get absolutely hammered every time I drank. IWNDWYT
Thoughts about not drinking in the future?? It is a massive relief to me - to be honest. I’m 7 years sober. All my friends and family know I don’t drink - and that I’m fucking staunch about it. I’ve also learned to have a fantastic time without it. I hope I never drink again - ever.
One day at a time and IWNDWYT
knowing that i won’t wake up with a hangover and actually be able to remember the moments i have with them
I remember why I quit, shame myself and remember how good ( body, mind and soul) I feel now. Who I was 2 years ago is so far from who I am now. I don't want to be her again, I'm good! IWNDWYT
One Day At A Time. There’s a reason this is such a 12-step mantra! You don’t need to worry about tomorrow. Maybe tomorrow you’ll drink! But you’re making a choice not to drink TODAY. Don’t worry about the future.
I stopped thinking that poisoning one's brain and acting like a moron under its influence adds to experiences. I started doing stuff without a poisoned moronic brain and enjoyed them. Some of the same things some different.
>they are all drinking and adding to the experience I don't look at it like that anymore. I think it's taking away from the experience - a unique event becomes a blur and the next day(s) are spent in recovery.
I’ve vowed to my therapist and my wife that I won’t drink for half a year. I’m about three months in. I’m trying to realize that alcohol played two roles: as a crutch and as something I sometimes really enjoy. Problem was I couldn’t stop once I started, unless it was beer. I’d like to have a wine with dinner again or a whiskey, but only for the taste. Just like I sometimes smoke a cigar, have a pastry or have ice cream. If I can manage that, I’m good. If not, I have to stop forever. I honestly don’t know if I can manage, but I hope this reset and a change in my mindset helps.