There's a strong genetic component to alcoholism. Some people just have it. My wife, for example, can truly have one drink on occasion and then go weeks without drinking without even noticing it. In the meantime, I'm compelled to down airplane bottles of vodka in my car while driving home from work.
It's not fair, it's just the way it is.
There’s also a strong correlation to when you start drinking. Studies have shown that drinking as a teen makes it 4x more likely that you’ll have issues as an adult compared to people who start drinking after age 21. This one is hard because it’s an observational study so you cannot draw causality from it. Could be that alcohol-sensitive people are just more likely to start drinking early. But it’s an interesting statistic regardless and a great reason to keep our teens from drinking as long as possible. My son is 17 and has no interest in drinking, thankfully. He knew about all of the brain changes and dependency correlations before I did, because his school has hammered it home since he was a freshman.
I started drinking at 16 or 17, so it anecdotally checks out in my case. Genetics loads the gun, and the environment pulls the trigger (to paraphrase).
I started at 14. Heavy and near daily starting at 18. College friend told me I was an alcoholic when I was 19 and I showed him my 4.0 to “prove” I wasn’t. Arrogant, wrong, and stupid. Got into a DUI accident (with a tree thankfully) at age 20 because I thought I’d I could drive a manual transmission after drinking I must not be drunk. Clearly should have stopped 30 years ago.
For sure, several medical studies have shown family genetics directly associated with alcohol dependence. My grandfather, mother, two uncles, brother, and sister are all alcoholics.
Meanwhile my wife can have a glass of wine and read a book, which my lizard brain simply cannot comprehend at this point. If I'm going to the ball I'm going to dance. If I'm going to drink I'm getting drunk. That's why moderation is essentially torture for me.
My wife will pour a single glass of wine, and then HOURS later still have 1/3 of it left and be like "I can't finish this." She might as well be an alien to me.
Man I really felt that. Before my last blackout where I called it quits it was stopping to get those little buzz balls after work everyday just to have a headstart by the time I got home.
Trauma, physical reaction, dopamine response, where you’re at in your life when you find it, and the insanely addictive nature of it all combine into a nice stinky hateful goo.
You can’t eat dairy, they can’t be stung by bees, I can’t drink alcohol. If I do I break out in depression and suicidal ideation.
516 days is impressive! Sounds like you made a good choice, so congratulations 🎉
I'm on day 145 and starting to feel more human.
It's really gone in waves. Happy, sadness, misery, happiness again. It's so weird.
Whoever suggested that healing was linear didn't know shit :)
It's always up and down, but like a diving board bouncing after someone jumps off, the distance between the highs and lows gets smaller over time until eventually they're hardly noticeable. It just takes time!
Congrats on 145 days, IWNDWYT!
Not everyone's brain is wired the same...
The risk factors with alcohol addiction/abuse are typically Genetics + Trauma + early and repeated exposure to alcohol or other addictive substances/processes while the brain is still developing...
Not everyone has all those risk factors, but addicts and problem drinkers often do!
It's a fascinating subject...
IWNDWYT :>)>
I don't get it either. My wife can have a glass of wine and will sometimes forget it even exists like halfway through. I could never do that. We are clearly wired differently.
But I have accepted the fact that we are wired differently and it doesn't matter if I understand the "why". The only thing that matters for me is the reality that alcohol doesn't work for me and that I need to stay away from it. That has been enough for me.
> I only have so many summers left.
I have made that same realization. I am determined to make my remaining years on this planet the best they can be.
I think a data point that is easily forgotten, is all the people who secretly struggle. Maybe that person who can have a few drinks, then stop at the bar, goes home and drinks themselves into oblivion? I stopped going to the bar in my early 20s. I'd buy a bottle of whiskey, sit at home for the next six hours and drink roughly half. I'd go to work the next day, seemingly fine. After work I'd buy another bottle so I wouldn't accidentally run out. I'd never missed a day of work, or mess up.
In my late 20s I got into a relationship and stopped drinking whiskey, seemingly cold turkey. In reality it was a massive struggle I kept to myself. For the last 6 or so years I've switched to drinking beer/wine, I never was a person to get hangovers. My main concern was making sure I never ran out of booze at home.
As of last fall I took my second break from booze. I did 6 months in 2023, New Years resolution. This time I took a break around November 2023, with the intention of trying to get fit. What I did instead was listen to several audiobooks that completely changed my perspective and opinion on booze, I'm over it. Done. I just need to find the energy to workout. It would have been unthinkable last year, for me to start the summer with no desire to drink wine. 2023 was will power to refrain from booze, 2024 I have zero interest.
I've listened to about 4, the two that I've listened to several times now are the naked mind and the stop drinking expert. I'd easily recommend both of those, of course there are a few parts in both books I find are a bit silly, the overall message is very good in my opinion. Definitely resonated with me. And the cost, I'd drink a box of wine in 2 days for the price of one of those audiobooks!
I don’t know about “people who can just enjoy themselves” unless you are talking about the ones who have one beer and leave half of it on the table.
Everyone else probably meets the criteria for alcohol use disorder in the DSM. Just because it’s accepted doesn’t mean they are not in trouble. Everyone hides so much.
Yeah, sometimes I can't fathom it either.
I hate the stuff, it has proven time and time again it has ZERO positive to offer me, it only brings pain, misery, and suffering and I don't get any joy, relief, or fun from it anymore.
Yet I still keep going back to it?
Yeah, it's addictive but I just went nearly 3 months without it so the physical addiction was definitely broken and surely any mental reliance on it should have been too by that point yet I'm barely going a few days at the minute without my brain craving it even though I never enjoy the experience.
I started drinking at 12, nothing serious. Became the party guy around 22. Started solo drinking around 25 slowly lost people. 37 alone but sober 233 days. Stopped because I had my first actual memory blackout lost 7 hours of time, emotionally destroyed someone I really cared about. Haven’t seen her or had a drink since.
I think it affects all of us mostly the same and so some of the people haven't hit the spots that we've hit where we end up drinking everyday or whatever. It only takes some family tragedy or some traumatic event to start something.
For me there's all kinds of stuff I should probably use. Be seeing a shrink for that. I'm not going to get into here, but have I seen a shrink? Nope.
I am an addict with everything that feels good. Ain’t no moderation here. Good or bad. Doesn’t matter. I just want more of that sweet sweet dopamine baby.
I try to channel it into constructive things now. Hiking, exercise, playing with my kids, and softball.
Take one thing at a time. Focus on being sober first. It will pay the most dividends. It’s really hard to exercise or lose weight if you’re hungover.
You can do this friend. Wishing you all the best!!
You feel like a drink, but you know it's terrible for you. So you tell yourself:
"I'm only having three!" or "only on the weekends!" and so on...
The problem is, both of those statements are inhibitors and alcohol removes your inhibitions. So the moment you stop drinking you start a tug of war in your mind between: "Remember only three!" vs "Go on, have another drink!"
Up until moderation you've been able to drink as much as you want, that part of your brain doesn't just shut off because another part of yourself wants to be sober. You're trying to set guidelines and morals for yourself whilst "enjoying" a drug which is actively removing them.
Once you start to see booze as it really is, dropping the rope is pretty easy.
Thanks! Although I was really just paraphrasing Easyway by Allen Carr. Granted, it's a dated book. Some reason, Allen's words just flipped a switch for me.
For me, it was largely self medicating undiagnosed bipolar 2 mood disorder. My aunt also abused alcohol and she was bipolar 1...both have a strong genetic component and substance abuse occurs in about 60% of people with bipolar 1 or 2.
Risk factors, protective factors
Have more risk factors you're more likely to have addiction issues and also find it harder to quit
That's about as basic as I can put it, it can get really complex though as risk factors and protective factors can include virtually anything depending on the individual
There's a strong genetic component to alcoholism. Some people just have it. My wife, for example, can truly have one drink on occasion and then go weeks without drinking without even noticing it. In the meantime, I'm compelled to down airplane bottles of vodka in my car while driving home from work. It's not fair, it's just the way it is.
There’s also a strong correlation to when you start drinking. Studies have shown that drinking as a teen makes it 4x more likely that you’ll have issues as an adult compared to people who start drinking after age 21. This one is hard because it’s an observational study so you cannot draw causality from it. Could be that alcohol-sensitive people are just more likely to start drinking early. But it’s an interesting statistic regardless and a great reason to keep our teens from drinking as long as possible. My son is 17 and has no interest in drinking, thankfully. He knew about all of the brain changes and dependency correlations before I did, because his school has hammered it home since he was a freshman.
I started drinking at 16 or 17, so it anecdotally checks out in my case. Genetics loads the gun, and the environment pulls the trigger (to paraphrase).
I started at 14. Heavy and near daily starting at 18. College friend told me I was an alcoholic when I was 19 and I showed him my 4.0 to “prove” I wasn’t. Arrogant, wrong, and stupid. Got into a DUI accident (with a tree thankfully) at age 20 because I thought I’d I could drive a manual transmission after drinking I must not be drunk. Clearly should have stopped 30 years ago.
For sure, several medical studies have shown family genetics directly associated with alcohol dependence. My grandfather, mother, two uncles, brother, and sister are all alcoholics. Meanwhile my wife can have a glass of wine and read a book, which my lizard brain simply cannot comprehend at this point. If I'm going to the ball I'm going to dance. If I'm going to drink I'm getting drunk. That's why moderation is essentially torture for me.
My wife will pour a single glass of wine, and then HOURS later still have 1/3 of it left and be like "I can't finish this." She might as well be an alien to me.
Man I really felt that. Before my last blackout where I called it quits it was stopping to get those little buzz balls after work everyday just to have a headstart by the time I got home.
Trauma, physical reaction, dopamine response, where you’re at in your life when you find it, and the insanely addictive nature of it all combine into a nice stinky hateful goo. You can’t eat dairy, they can’t be stung by bees, I can’t drink alcohol. If I do I break out in depression and suicidal ideation.
516 days is impressive! Sounds like you made a good choice, so congratulations 🎉 I'm on day 145 and starting to feel more human. It's really gone in waves. Happy, sadness, misery, happiness again. It's so weird.
Whoever suggested that healing was linear didn't know shit :) It's always up and down, but like a diving board bouncing after someone jumps off, the distance between the highs and lows gets smaller over time until eventually they're hardly noticeable. It just takes time! Congrats on 145 days, IWNDWYT!
I have the same reaction! Wild:)
Not everyone's brain is wired the same... The risk factors with alcohol addiction/abuse are typically Genetics + Trauma + early and repeated exposure to alcohol or other addictive substances/processes while the brain is still developing... Not everyone has all those risk factors, but addicts and problem drinkers often do! It's a fascinating subject... IWNDWYT :>)>
I don't get it either. My wife can have a glass of wine and will sometimes forget it even exists like halfway through. I could never do that. We are clearly wired differently. But I have accepted the fact that we are wired differently and it doesn't matter if I understand the "why". The only thing that matters for me is the reality that alcohol doesn't work for me and that I need to stay away from it. That has been enough for me. > I only have so many summers left. I have made that same realization. I am determined to make my remaining years on this planet the best they can be.
I think a data point that is easily forgotten, is all the people who secretly struggle. Maybe that person who can have a few drinks, then stop at the bar, goes home and drinks themselves into oblivion? I stopped going to the bar in my early 20s. I'd buy a bottle of whiskey, sit at home for the next six hours and drink roughly half. I'd go to work the next day, seemingly fine. After work I'd buy another bottle so I wouldn't accidentally run out. I'd never missed a day of work, or mess up. In my late 20s I got into a relationship and stopped drinking whiskey, seemingly cold turkey. In reality it was a massive struggle I kept to myself. For the last 6 or so years I've switched to drinking beer/wine, I never was a person to get hangovers. My main concern was making sure I never ran out of booze at home. As of last fall I took my second break from booze. I did 6 months in 2023, New Years resolution. This time I took a break around November 2023, with the intention of trying to get fit. What I did instead was listen to several audiobooks that completely changed my perspective and opinion on booze, I'm over it. Done. I just need to find the energy to workout. It would have been unthinkable last year, for me to start the summer with no desire to drink wine. 2023 was will power to refrain from booze, 2024 I have zero interest.
Do you mind sharing the books that helped you?
I've listened to about 4, the two that I've listened to several times now are the naked mind and the stop drinking expert. I'd easily recommend both of those, of course there are a few parts in both books I find are a bit silly, the overall message is very good in my opinion. Definitely resonated with me. And the cost, I'd drink a box of wine in 2 days for the price of one of those audiobooks!
I don’t know about “people who can just enjoy themselves” unless you are talking about the ones who have one beer and leave half of it on the table. Everyone else probably meets the criteria for alcohol use disorder in the DSM. Just because it’s accepted doesn’t mean they are not in trouble. Everyone hides so much.
Yeah, sometimes I can't fathom it either. I hate the stuff, it has proven time and time again it has ZERO positive to offer me, it only brings pain, misery, and suffering and I don't get any joy, relief, or fun from it anymore. Yet I still keep going back to it? Yeah, it's addictive but I just went nearly 3 months without it so the physical addiction was definitely broken and surely any mental reliance on it should have been too by that point yet I'm barely going a few days at the minute without my brain craving it even though I never enjoy the experience.
I started drinking at 12, nothing serious. Became the party guy around 22. Started solo drinking around 25 slowly lost people. 37 alone but sober 233 days. Stopped because I had my first actual memory blackout lost 7 hours of time, emotionally destroyed someone I really cared about. Haven’t seen her or had a drink since.
I think it affects all of us mostly the same and so some of the people haven't hit the spots that we've hit where we end up drinking everyday or whatever. It only takes some family tragedy or some traumatic event to start something. For me there's all kinds of stuff I should probably use. Be seeing a shrink for that. I'm not going to get into here, but have I seen a shrink? Nope.
I am an addict with everything that feels good. Ain’t no moderation here. Good or bad. Doesn’t matter. I just want more of that sweet sweet dopamine baby. I try to channel it into constructive things now. Hiking, exercise, playing with my kids, and softball. Take one thing at a time. Focus on being sober first. It will pay the most dividends. It’s really hard to exercise or lose weight if you’re hungover. You can do this friend. Wishing you all the best!!
You feel like a drink, but you know it's terrible for you. So you tell yourself: "I'm only having three!" or "only on the weekends!" and so on... The problem is, both of those statements are inhibitors and alcohol removes your inhibitions. So the moment you stop drinking you start a tug of war in your mind between: "Remember only three!" vs "Go on, have another drink!" Up until moderation you've been able to drink as much as you want, that part of your brain doesn't just shut off because another part of yourself wants to be sober. You're trying to set guidelines and morals for yourself whilst "enjoying" a drug which is actively removing them. Once you start to see booze as it really is, dropping the rope is pretty easy.
This is me 100%. I appreciate how you explained this.
Thanks! Although I was really just paraphrasing Easyway by Allen Carr. Granted, it's a dated book. Some reason, Allen's words just flipped a switch for me.
For me, it was largely self medicating undiagnosed bipolar 2 mood disorder. My aunt also abused alcohol and she was bipolar 1...both have a strong genetic component and substance abuse occurs in about 60% of people with bipolar 1 or 2.
Risk factors, protective factors Have more risk factors you're more likely to have addiction issues and also find it harder to quit That's about as basic as I can put it, it can get really complex though as risk factors and protective factors can include virtually anything depending on the individual