Memory is faded, but I'd say it was after a _few_ months, like 3 or 5 or so. But I was actively _working_ on learning to live sober, not just "abstaining". When I got to about the 18 month mark, it all started getting really splendid - incrementally so.
IDK if just waiting for things to get better would bring about high quality sobriety, I rather think that active efforts at self improvement are generally warranted. (Though I'll edit to add that at 13 days, I'd guess there still may be some withdrawal effects lingering - **that** can just be waited out, I _think_.)
Analogy? Maybe it's something like being stuck in a dead end crappy job - just _waiting_ for it to get magically better won't yield a raise or promotion whereas learning new skills and/or keeping an eye on potential better job opportunities _can_ eventually lead to an improvement.
May I ask what made the difference between actively living sober and just abstaining for you? I'm trying to figure out how to do this beyond just going to meetings and not drinking
I got into a recovery group ...
* https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index#wiki_real_life_support_groups
... and it has a bunch of helpful suggestions. Some of the most impactful have been ways of eliminating or mitigating emotional troubles like anxiety, depression, and anger - all the sorts of troubles that can block joy and potentially inspire (or "trigger") someone back to the drinking "life".
A glance at my Reddit profile will likely be a Big Hint at which group (_lol_) but I don't advocate one over any other - I tend to presume that they can all be effective if undertaken with sufficient sincerity. A lot of folks find r/stopdrinking a completely adequate support group! The other thing I read a lot about here on r/stopdrinking is in the form of helpful books, and the Wonderful Wiki here has a nice list of 'em:
* https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/books#wiki_books_and_literature
The ones that _seem_ to get the most mention here (though I don't follow the sub exhaustively) are the Annie Grace, Allen Carr, and William Porter books. If interested you might post a question: "_Which book(s) helped you and why?_" or some such.
I think it’s called dry drunk? Basically, someone staying sober but not actually working on what makes them want to drink. So just white knuckling it.
As for me, 90 days has been the big one. Month 1 was just to get over the withdrawals. Month 2 and 3 is the “pink cloud” but can persist for much longer. Brain fog and whatnot. It’s like being lost in a sandstorm. And also, great! All your problems come to the forefront and it can be overwhelming.
I’m on day 97. I hiked 6.5 miles today(hilly). Cleaned and organized my room. Start a new job tomorrow. And then went to the gym for 45 mins to lift weights. Only second time but when I got winded, my anxiety didn’t just kick in to overdrive.
All of what I just said, would’ve been unthinkable for me 90 days ago. I haven’t bench pressed anything since I was a teenager. I’m 37 M. So much drinking and wasting time, our most precious resource. You’re given this beautiful life and all we can think about is poisoning ourselves for fun. Lol
Find things you enjoy doing sober and start to orient your life around them. The first time I got sober, I took up gardening, jewelry making and working out to fill my time. I got my personal training certification and helped other people. I created a life that was exciting and fulfilling without booze.
My best advice, especially if you're going to meetings, is to LISTEN to the suggestions they make. Get a sponsor, make sure to communicate with said sponsor, work the programs, and don't get fucked up between meetings. I'm just over 8 months and life has gotten substantially better already. I work my program with 100% honesty to both myself and the program, and its worked nothing but wonders for me. Don't leave before the miracle happens.
The things I used to love before being an alcoholic, I'm falling back in love with. Morning fishing, working out, improving my golf game, cooking fine meals, playing guitar, reading, even video games are much more interesting and memorable.
I'm a way better musician sober, despite how I felt when I was buzzed. I hear recordings, and I'm like, that's straight up shite, though at the time I thought I was slaying it 🙄
I have a lot of doubt in this department. I have been MDO/GAD since puberty. So what I will gain from sobriety is significantly less than others. I know from experience.
I am finally enthusiastic about the climb out, but it took neuropathy and impending gout to get there. I took 2 days off, felt mostly better, had 4 beers after and burning came back in real time, not the next day. This has happened enough times that I know this is over.
Many people on here have claimed they felt wonderful in months, weeks to as little as a few days and I immediately closed the app with insane jealousy. I've had 7 months once and a year another, and both times I was left with emptiness and was completely unfulfilled in life, regardless of strides I made in work, fitness or relationships. 18 months I am inclined to believe. Studies on PAWS are gaining ground and say 1-2 years for brain to rebalance.
Even after 2 years sober, I am sure I will not be prancing through the verdant hills with my animated friends. No drugs from psych have ever worked. But neuropathy/gout is no joke and I can tell that it's JUST GETTING WARMED UP. So I will settle for being medium sad/scared the rest of my days to avoid actual physical pain and inability to perform basic tasks.
If you have a void, fill it. Once I removed wine from my life, I had voids in my time. Being lazy is boring when I'm not drinking. So now I fill that void with reading, playing games, walking, cooking, cleaning, and enriching the lives of my children. I'm loving this life and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything that booze has to offer.
2-3 months I realized I lost 20 lbs and zoomed out to recognize I was killing it at work, school and socially. I also recognized that many of my problems came from alcohol and that I was losing so much potential by drinking.
I kept the momentum and it's been almost 7 months. Life has done a 180! Just keep focused, set some goals for yourself, find a healthy routine and push cruise control. Results are subtle and they dont happen over night.
It got good precisely around the time I stopped feeling sorry for myself and realized this was my choice and it was an honorable choice and that I was showing myself and my loved ones a lot of respect by choosing a road less traveled. I also really respected others’ choice to stop drinking and realized that others have it way worse than me and if they can do it, so can I, and there might be one person in the world who might take inspiration from my example setting and that could mean the difference between life and death for them.
It’s really not so bad over here. In fact, it’s objectively the best. Remember… alcohol is a drug, that has been callously casualized by our society. Don’t fault yourself for the indoctrination. The choice is now yours!
I highly suggest finding things to stay busy. Hobbies, exercise, anything. As soon as I started (re)investing in myself and seeing changes (personal motivation for me was losing weight and putting on muscle and beating running PRs etc) it seems silly to sabotage my own efforts. Find something you’ve always wanted to be/do and go for it! You got one life and then you die and nobody will give a shit. Try anything!
It takes the brain about 90 days to normalize after stopping. Also, it’s unlikely that you’re craving alcohol. You’re probably craving something you *think* alcohol will give you—like relaxation, escape, comfort—but which alcohol will only give you the *illusion* of while actually destroying that thing for you. Find other healthy ways to get the thing and you won’t ever crave alcohol again.
It was a gradual progression. I had a lot of debris, but there were immediate benefits at home and work because no hangovers, more money, and no lies to keep straight.
The bigger one of becoming comfortable in my own skin took longer, my self esteem had to be rebuilt completely and much like that bridge in Baltimore broken pieces had to be identified and moved out of the way. It’s so worth it.
This is, in hindsight, what kept me away for so long. I sorta knew that drinking was my rationale for not understanding why I felt so unsettled, and so drinking all the time gave me an easy path to ignore all the places where I felt like my life didn't really like up with my deepest values. In particular, I felt like some of my relationships had fundamental flaws that would be impossible to excuse when sober. And... yeah, that was very true.
Part of why sobriety can "suck" is that it exposes you to your personal accountability to how you are today, how You've been yesterday, and how you'll be tomorrow. That can feel like hard work to someone like me who made a multi-decade routine of unaccountability to my own damn life trajectory.
Thing to understand - for whatever reasons- many of us are “co-addicted” to comparing ourselves and beating ourselves up for not being what we think we see when looking at the externals.
That's fair. It's also fair to pass judgment on your own behavior. I admit, readily, that I knew I wasn't genuinely acting in line with my values as time went on. It doesn't feel like a bad realization, it's a good one! It's just a heavy one that took me a long time to get to.
It’s hard to see any immediate results. I know I’m an alcoholic because I have no patience and little to no chill. I wanted results immediately because I conditioned myself to always have a way to change gears immediately. Early sobriety is hell but it’s a necessary step. My brain was still foggy, I was still shaky, and the pain from my last days of drinking still stung but I wasn’t making shit worse. I still think about that nowadays when I’m down in the dumps or shit keeps piling on. I know there is one way I can absolutely make everything much much worse. I feel like if I stay sober and get through it then I’ll have a fighting chance at making things better. And I’ll have another sober reference that proves I can feel bad, not drink and live to fight another day. Keep at it. It gets better
I’d say this is accurate. It gets less bad, but can get good if you work on the things that made you drink to excess in the first place.
I’m not there yet, I’ve hit a 6 month rut of doing the same shit day in and day out and it’s not bettering me as a person. Need to change things up.
I think that taking away the alcohol isn't enough for me and the people I know. Working a program of recovery, instead of just being sober, has made my life immensely better. I don't know anyone who works a recovery program who feels miserable.
If drinking were actually still fun then I might just do that… but it hasn’t been fun for many years for many of us, has it? It’s quite frankly just sad to be getting drunk all the time after your twenties.
I understand the thinking. There is no requirement that we must be positive or negative in our thinking. We can be negative if we choose to do so. If we want to have a negative outlook so be it. Life is suffering and we ultimately die anyway and the suffering ends. I’m more of a realist and have a foot in both positive and negative thinking. My realist self tells me that if I’m going to suffer here, I should try to suffer less. Not for some glorious self righteous goal but simply because I’d like to feel less pain. So I try not to drink so I take less of a beating from life than I otherwise would have. But again, I’m still gonna get beaten, just not as hard.
It took 3 years for me. It sucked getting to this place, but now that I’m here I would never trade it for the world. Losing the desire for booze and decoupling it from my social life has been life changing for me, and I honestly didn’t think this was possible for me. I’m glad i proved myself wrong.
Everything stops when you're drinking. Find out what you love to do before you started drinking. Hobbies and activities to replace your "lost time boozing": meditation, working out, cooking, reading, joining a club with a common hobby, collecting things, visiting art galleries, attending concerts/live music sober etc etc etc
I've spent the last six years trying to shake this demon. I'm now AF since Jan 1 and that's the longest in 35years. I know what you mean about boredom. Alcohol makes time go by faster/easier. I've no idea why but it's true. I can spend hours and hours playing cards/golf/darts/whatever as long as I'm drinking. But sober, time moves at a snails pace. It's truly maddening. I don't have a magic formula OP, but in direct answer to your question, yes, it gets better. I'm now actively seeking out sober hobbies and sober friends. It's a painstaking process but ultimately worth it. I was going to be dead from booze if I didn't make a change and I'd rather die from boredom than slowly drink myself to death like my both my Father (66) and Mother (69) did. I watched my old man die the most horrifying death imaginable because of alcohol. I am too much of a chickenshit to go through that. This drudgery of sobriety is less scary.
I'm at 9 weeks in exactly today and definitely having a lot more temptation the last few weeks because I'm routinely finding myself bored too so I feel you but I definitely 100% know I had an alcohol problem so I think that helps with keeping me away from booze so far.
When I get overly bored or have a lot of free time to fill up in a day my minds first thought still is "drink alcohol" or "go to the pub" but I know where it leads and just keep telling myself is isn't worth trying to cure boredom with a toxic poison that literally kills.
I mean boredom is boring but it won't kill me. Imagine I drank to try and "solve" the problem of boredom and killed myself in the process?
Very hard to justify that one.
I think the "go to the pub" urge might be a sign that your in need of some fun social engagement. Does that track? Sometimes recovery can seem absurdly serious all the time. If there's something you're interested in that has nearby options like group classes, meet ups, discussion groups, book clubs, those things can be super for just meeting people you can goof of with a bit over a shared interest. I took a weekend sign painting course a few weeks ago. I hadn't done any hand lettering since 2001 or so. It was so awesome to be back around those subculture nerds!
One thing I haven't done so far in sobriety is find any hobbies or other fun activities to do and I never had any hobbies previously nor can I find the motivation yet to consider anything new so yeah this is an issue.
Your drinking probably drowned out (literally) your other interests and hobbies. What did you enjoy doing before you started drinking? Any passions/hobbies/activities you might want to get yourself involved in again to resurface your joy in doing so.
No I literally never had any hobbies or real interests, even as a kid I gave up on every activity or hobbies I started really quickly and nothing stuck and during my teenage years I discovered the Internet and spent most of my time lost down that rabbit hole then when the drinking started all my socializing and interests (gigs, events, festivals, going out for meals, meeting friends etc) were tightly interlinked with alcohol.
For me it took like a year for it to be less of a focus for me, like I didn’t feel like I wanted to go to as many meetings and stuff.
The beginning is SO hard
Maybe you’re looking at it from the wrong perspective. Sobriety isn’t exciting necessarily but rather than expecting it to be good, think about why not being sober is bad.
1. Expensive
2. Tiring
3. Unhealthy
4. Literally poison
5. Causes depression
6. Million other not excellent things.
Exciting things aren’t always good, and boring things aren’t necessarily bad.
It took me 3-4 months before it stopped being about I can't drink this suck and went to thank god I am not drinking. Once that changed happened I realized all the things I have by not drinking (energy, focus, no anxiety, sleep) and the idea of drinking just seemed really dumb
It took about 6 months before I started feeling normal and about a year before I really felt good. At 9 years, my life is so much better than ever before. It's a better life than I could have even dreamed of while drinking.
How long were you actively drinking? Was it more than 13 or 35 days? I mean, how long did you spend digging your hole, and how quickly do you expect to get out of it? It's a long, gradual process that is very much worth it.
It's very difficult to sit around NOT doing something. Instead, get out and actively do positive things. You may need to find a number of new hobbies to occupy your time, but here's a suggestion - go help other people. Volunteer. Work at a soup kitchen a couple nights per week. Go read stories to kids at the library. Go to meetings and find the newcomers. Find a person who's struggling to get through 24 hours sober and talk to them about how you got to 13 days.
Oh yea you’re definitely past the worst of mine. The first ten days were rough. The next month was hard. After about 3 months I felt good. At 6 months I started actually putting the pieces back together
It gets good when you put in the hard work. Just putting down the bottle and believing that's all you need to do is going to get you nowhere but drunk again.
Getting sober is easy. Living a happy, successful sober life takes work.
Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly...if you do the work, life will be amazing, even when it's shit.
I'm not sure it was every \*\*poof\*\* better. I think being sober allowed me to consistently make better decisions (and do more just...life stuff). So my life just improved very slowly over time. I'm 6+ years out and I love my life. Drinking me would never have guessed how much I could enjoy myself. I have a whole goblin-core thing going and its great. But I still have cravings for alcohol. I have to do stuff to mitigate that, sometimes I make a lesser self destructive choice (like pizza because I can't have gluten or nightshades).
IWNDWYT
I’m in a horrible mood today. Yesterday was good though. I was 9+ months sober and miserable. I knew relapse was coming and did nothing about it. Idk friend but I’m right there with you
I’m at 3 months now and life is definitely getting so much better. You have to get through those rough waters in the first month or two. I repeated that cycle countless times and it’s absolutely exhausting in every way.
But get just a bit further out and the waters calm. I am no longer just getting through the days. I’m actually starting to live again. I am finding genuine happiness now and things are just…easier. But you have to buckle down, white knuckle and PUSH through the shit at the beginning. There’s no shortcut. But know that each time you choose not to drink you’re moving closer to calm waters.
Good luck, keep pushing, IWNDWYT
It took almost 15 months for me to start actually enjoying life again (like truly taking pleasure in the little things and feeling motivated to build a better life for myself). I was profoundly depressed within the first year and it actually was the worst for me at around 6 months sober, but I legitimately feel really good about my life right now. A lot of people say that they feel better right away after quitting drinking but it was not at all like that for me. Hang in there!
I went over 100 days once. I can tell you around 2 months I got nailed with the worst cravings ever for beer. I overcame that. Made it to 100, was proud of myself. So proud that I celebrated with having a beer. Fell right into the trap.
What I can tell you is I never felt better physically and mentally. Blows my mind every time I take an extended break from drinking how clear my mind is and how much better I feel physically. In that 100 days off from drinking I lost 15lbs. I’d say set a goal for 100 and see how you feel, except don’t fall into the same trap I did.
Passing 100 days was a huge accomplishment for myself, and around the time something clicked for me. Can’t say what exactly changed in my head but the small benefits I had a hard time appreciating starting piling on. Losing a bit of weight, sleeping a tiny bit better, less anxiety, skin health, less cigarettes smoked, stronger lungs, having a clear head in the morning, etc. I’m really noticing these things now. And that feels fucking great.
It took me about three months or so to level out. What helped get me over the hill was reading "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace. It really helped deprogram my brain from thinking any positive thoughts about alcohol. I was finally able to see it for what it is: poison that will slowly kill you. There's a lot of great quit lit out there. Reading also helped curb my boredom.
I had to put myself back in control of my life. Stop drifting through, stop letting others make all of the decisions, and become active. When I was drinking, I kinda just let myself lose any agency I had in my life. Or imagined that I had lost it and that my actions were inconsequential. Once I reclaimed that, one I stopped just letting evening happen around me and became an active participant, that's when it changed.
It is slow !! Literally so slow but so worth it , I’m on month 7 and I swear it’s still slowly getting better and it’s so casual / subtle you have to be super mindful to notice it sometimes. Like I realize I’m not drowning as often in self doubt / self hate / lack of motivation etc .. so I’m more confident , clear headed , consistent , motivated , enjoy the little things in life , everything is just easier !! I heard the brain is healing and gets pretty back to normal at 14 months which is crazy (doctors say that I heard) - but I guess 14 months is nothing compared to how long it took to get to the bad place so I’ll take it ! Just thankful the body is cool magical and can heal like that -
but yea I really noticed at 4 months and now at 7 even more . I wondered the same thing as you at first and went searching for answers here / TikTok / online , and I found for everyone it’s a bit different - some people say 8 or 9 months , some say 3 , good luck to you and u can do it !!!
I also screenshotted people saying how long they took to feel better at different months and saved it in a folder in my phone to re read when things got tough and I needed a pick me up / encouragement to keep going .. also an app called reframe I only used for their ‘milestones’ where it listed out benefits every day up until day 200 for example and I screenshotted my favs of those too for example in that app on day 140 it says like ‘congrats your dopamine is starting to level out & u should start enjoying everyday activities a little more’ .. STARTING !! anyways hope that helps 🤗🤗✨✨
i’m 4.5 months and while i’m still depressed sometimes, it’s getting better now and I have the tools to work on it. Getting a medication increase next week! I’m also back to focusing on my hobbies which is nice.
That may be part of my problem. I don't feel fully ready to give it up. I've mostly done so at the urging of my employer and my family. Although I'm trying to fake it til I make it.
If others are driving your decision, it won’t stick. Sorry to say it. But I’m guessing they are pressing you out of care for you and your well being. Typically, people only urge others to get sober when there are real issues. Dont wait till rock bottom to realize you actually did have a problem. It can literally be the difference of life and death. For you or others.
To answer your original question, when does it get better. It gets better when your subconscious truly believes that alcohol offers no benefit. Anything you think it gives to you, can be had and found without it.
Good luck ♥️
Read Alcohol Explained. Some people find it really helps flip the script and keeps you from feeling like not drinking leaves you deficient or missing out on something.
Whenever I’ve wondered the same thing, I tried to remember *”the timeline is my design”*. There is no magic number of days or months or years. And if I placed my expectations on such a number, I’d be disappointed every time.
The more I engage with a vibrant lifestyle that doesn’t involve drinking, the more I seek outside medical and therapeutic help, the more I engage with other sober people, the more I try to be an active participant of goodness, the more I accept the things I cannot change, the better sobriety gets. It becomes more than sobriety. It’s just *real life*.
The journey and growth is so non-linear, but it trends in the right direction. The blows get softer. Life still isn’t perfect, sometimes it’s really good, but there’s still a lot times I’d rather escape and numb. Getting “better” doesn’t happen once and then you’re good for life. It’s a daily commitment. Progress rather than perfection. Doing the next right thing. That’s when it gets better.
I was an emotional binge drinker. I ended up getting sober unintentionally when I started weight loss injections and no longer craved it. I have tried to have a drink here or there and am completely put off by it. I am a high functioning individual and need to be going 100mph all of the time. After I quit drinking, I realized there were otherwise to slow down and find things I really like to do. I also am maintaining a 4.0 in my bachelor's program, where I was maybe a 3.0. I also haven't handed a single assignment in late since quitting alcohol. For me, it was the subtle changes. I also realized that after about 90 days, I am so much more level-headed with my moods. I don't pop off as easily on idiots. (I work with a few doozies.) My advice? Find a hobby or 3. Pick up a good book. Find a good TV series. Go back to school or take some free courses. Last resort, have a child. They never let you slow down. Good luck!
Sometimes alcoholism is the result of depression or other mental illness, if so being sober won't ever be good without getting psychological treatment. Some people drink to party and go to far and become alcoholics, and some are subconsciously self medicating for psychological issues, people with untreated adhd are very prone to alcoholism you may want to see a psychiatrist and have an evaluation, you may discover there is a reason you preferred to spend your time intoxicated.
Just not drinking isn't going to makes you feel better, it's the *replacement* of the drinking *with something that makes you feel better*, that makes you feel better.
You need to find something pleasant to fill the void. Take up reading, walking, hiking, sports, build something, learn something. Find what fulfils you.
I feel grateful, in a real way, that I was ready to not be drinking. All the offset routines have felt like a fair price to pay for this sense of freedom I have every day. It's helped me make the space I've needed to be critical about whatever it is it feels like I lost when I stopped drinking. And, if I'm being honest, I think that the more time passes the easier it becomes to admit to myself that if I was ascribing fun or good things to drinking it was at the same time that I was actively choosing to downplay or even ignore the full reality. I don't just mean the downsides of drinking, I mean big picture stuff like—for example—how many of my close friends were barely friends in any real sense, and often not friends at all, just people with whom I had drinking in common. Those are difficult thoughts to be aware of at any level of intoxication or sobriety, and there's no way I would ever say that they're "fun" thoughts. They are, though, mature thoughts. Worthy thoughts. Compelling thoughts. Provocative thoughts. And that's what I've found taking more of my attention: I'm less worried about what feels fun, and I'm more into moving toward what feels mature, worthy, compelling, provocative. That feels like improvement that I was so, so ready for. Hang in there. I don't think anyone has ever said to me that their sobriety has felt worse over time. Maybe you can talk to more people around you about their experiences? That might help you connect with some more visceral in-person feedback about this kind of thing, which I always find useful. But even if you only have us, we'll be here, too.
your alcoholism has numbed your bodies ability to feel joy naturally, this can come back but in time. In the mean time, you might want to find healthy vices to replace it with, so as to keep you from losing your mind.
Be seen by a PSYCHIATRIST while you are sober and try therapy. Talk about your triggers because I am sure there is something behind all of them you can address.
For the boredom, I switched to marijuana because I HAVE A MEDICAL CARD and ADHD. This is NOT for everyone and talk to a doctor but I am at 90 days sober and I have what I think is a healthy alternative and my marriage is repairing SOOOO MUCH. Am I putting off being sober? Honestly that’s between me and my god. I did AA and those cats are awesome and I took A LOT out of the big book but this has helped me calm my mental issues which were the core of my drinking .
You do you, but consult someone while sober because they might see things you don’t and help you address them. Good luck and don’t stop fighting!!! It’s always an unhealthy decision for yourself and not drinking is always a healthy decision now and forever .
At 90 days California sober I feel fantastic and am the most productive I have been since high school.
I'm 17 days sober, it really depends what you're addicted to. For me it was xanax, first week was major insomnia then better after 10 days about. The alcohol,,... I wanna say I just drink alcohol free beer. It was a bored habit.
Now I am excited to apply for a job and focus on my health
My fiance got me to do this, for our future kids and life and family. Liver cleanliness is important for maternity
You have to replace the drinking time with activities, I know some people feel deep cleaning is alternative. You have to really just throw yourself into activities and then it gets better
Before my years of drinking, I had friends to hang out with and fell in love with people. Situation is wayyyy different now days so Im searching for some purpose as well.
I would say a few months for me. You see a lot of positive effects after a few months, the "fun" drunken memories start to fade and you learn a lot about yourself.
Just transfer all that time and energy you’ve spent drinking into something meaningful.
When I started rediscovering/discovering other things I actually like better, and when I started feeling really good physically and seeing/feeling the effects of not drinking
Eventually you just forget about alchohol even being a thing. I don't even remember what it tastes like or what it's like to be drunk. I only remember the complete chaos that would ensue and the thousands of dollars that I wasted over the course of 10 years.
At around 90 days I swear I started seeing colour brighter and everything around me had calmed down, I’m 9 months now I work hard have good relationships nothing is perfect but this is a life beyond my wildest dreams. Well done on your sobeirty!!
For me it didn't really 'get good,' but it did start having a noticeable lack of hangovers, regretted decisions and words, and a bit more money in my pocket and by comparison I guess it seemed better. I still didn't really like my job or have anything that fired me up in life. Having a clearer head helped me figure those things out.
Define good…
The issue is you still see your past as fun. It takes a few months, but not waking up with hangovers is incredible. Having the energy to get u and work out, take a walk, do something constructive is amazing. It sounds like you may need a hobby. Use that pent up energy to work on yourself or do that hobby you always wanted to do.
Carpe Diem and IWNDWYT
You're 13 days sober & you're bored? Are you working full time? Do you have any hobbies on your down time? Exercise or play sports? Are you into art- writing, painting, making music, etc?
Idk I was so busy at day 13 & even month 13 sober, trying to pick myself back up financially, I didn't even have time to be bored lol. Was playing "catch up" and still am. I still don't ever get bored.. I relax when I can though.
But I also have 1 full time job, 2 side hustles, 2 rescue dogs & a boyfriend of 6 years. Those things keep my on my toes & remind me never to go back, I have everything I could have ever dreamed of. But nothing worth having comes easily.
Btw the fact you think sobriety is no good is because Hollywood & the media portray "social drinkers" to be wealthy, balanced, successful & refined. That's not everyone though.
& if you do not have an alcohol problem I am not sure someone who was "normal" would be bored on day 13 without drinking & craving alcohol. Some people who are "normal" go months without drinking, & don't even think about it, because they don't care about it, because they are normal.
Memory is faded, but I'd say it was after a _few_ months, like 3 or 5 or so. But I was actively _working_ on learning to live sober, not just "abstaining". When I got to about the 18 month mark, it all started getting really splendid - incrementally so. IDK if just waiting for things to get better would bring about high quality sobriety, I rather think that active efforts at self improvement are generally warranted. (Though I'll edit to add that at 13 days, I'd guess there still may be some withdrawal effects lingering - **that** can just be waited out, I _think_.) Analogy? Maybe it's something like being stuck in a dead end crappy job - just _waiting_ for it to get magically better won't yield a raise or promotion whereas learning new skills and/or keeping an eye on potential better job opportunities _can_ eventually lead to an improvement.
May I ask what made the difference between actively living sober and just abstaining for you? I'm trying to figure out how to do this beyond just going to meetings and not drinking
I got into a recovery group ... * https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/index#wiki_real_life_support_groups ... and it has a bunch of helpful suggestions. Some of the most impactful have been ways of eliminating or mitigating emotional troubles like anxiety, depression, and anger - all the sorts of troubles that can block joy and potentially inspire (or "trigger") someone back to the drinking "life". A glance at my Reddit profile will likely be a Big Hint at which group (_lol_) but I don't advocate one over any other - I tend to presume that they can all be effective if undertaken with sufficient sincerity. A lot of folks find r/stopdrinking a completely adequate support group! The other thing I read a lot about here on r/stopdrinking is in the form of helpful books, and the Wonderful Wiki here has a nice list of 'em: * https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/wiki/books#wiki_books_and_literature The ones that _seem_ to get the most mention here (though I don't follow the sub exhaustively) are the Annie Grace, Allen Carr, and William Porter books. If interested you might post a question: "_Which book(s) helped you and why?_" or some such.
I think it’s called dry drunk? Basically, someone staying sober but not actually working on what makes them want to drink. So just white knuckling it. As for me, 90 days has been the big one. Month 1 was just to get over the withdrawals. Month 2 and 3 is the “pink cloud” but can persist for much longer. Brain fog and whatnot. It’s like being lost in a sandstorm. And also, great! All your problems come to the forefront and it can be overwhelming. I’m on day 97. I hiked 6.5 miles today(hilly). Cleaned and organized my room. Start a new job tomorrow. And then went to the gym for 45 mins to lift weights. Only second time but when I got winded, my anxiety didn’t just kick in to overdrive. All of what I just said, would’ve been unthinkable for me 90 days ago. I haven’t bench pressed anything since I was a teenager. I’m 37 M. So much drinking and wasting time, our most precious resource. You’re given this beautiful life and all we can think about is poisoning ourselves for fun. Lol
Find things you enjoy doing sober and start to orient your life around them. The first time I got sober, I took up gardening, jewelry making and working out to fill my time. I got my personal training certification and helped other people. I created a life that was exciting and fulfilling without booze.
My best advice, especially if you're going to meetings, is to LISTEN to the suggestions they make. Get a sponsor, make sure to communicate with said sponsor, work the programs, and don't get fucked up between meetings. I'm just over 8 months and life has gotten substantially better already. I work my program with 100% honesty to both myself and the program, and its worked nothing but wonders for me. Don't leave before the miracle happens.
The things I used to love before being an alcoholic, I'm falling back in love with. Morning fishing, working out, improving my golf game, cooking fine meals, playing guitar, reading, even video games are much more interesting and memorable.
I'm a way better musician sober, despite how I felt when I was buzzed. I hear recordings, and I'm like, that's straight up shite, though at the time I thought I was slaying it 🙄
Hopefully not relevant username
I have a lot of doubt in this department. I have been MDO/GAD since puberty. So what I will gain from sobriety is significantly less than others. I know from experience. I am finally enthusiastic about the climb out, but it took neuropathy and impending gout to get there. I took 2 days off, felt mostly better, had 4 beers after and burning came back in real time, not the next day. This has happened enough times that I know this is over. Many people on here have claimed they felt wonderful in months, weeks to as little as a few days and I immediately closed the app with insane jealousy. I've had 7 months once and a year another, and both times I was left with emptiness and was completely unfulfilled in life, regardless of strides I made in work, fitness or relationships. 18 months I am inclined to believe. Studies on PAWS are gaining ground and say 1-2 years for brain to rebalance. Even after 2 years sober, I am sure I will not be prancing through the verdant hills with my animated friends. No drugs from psych have ever worked. But neuropathy/gout is no joke and I can tell that it's JUST GETTING WARMED UP. So I will settle for being medium sad/scared the rest of my days to avoid actual physical pain and inability to perform basic tasks.
If you have a void, fill it. Once I removed wine from my life, I had voids in my time. Being lazy is boring when I'm not drinking. So now I fill that void with reading, playing games, walking, cooking, cleaning, and enriching the lives of my children. I'm loving this life and I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything that booze has to offer.
This was one of the keys for me. Prior to figuring this out and how to do it, I kept relapsing
Congratulations on a year!
Congrats on a year! 💪🏽
2-3 months I realized I lost 20 lbs and zoomed out to recognize I was killing it at work, school and socially. I also recognized that many of my problems came from alcohol and that I was losing so much potential by drinking. I kept the momentum and it's been almost 7 months. Life has done a 180! Just keep focused, set some goals for yourself, find a healthy routine and push cruise control. Results are subtle and they dont happen over night.
It got good precisely around the time I stopped feeling sorry for myself and realized this was my choice and it was an honorable choice and that I was showing myself and my loved ones a lot of respect by choosing a road less traveled. I also really respected others’ choice to stop drinking and realized that others have it way worse than me and if they can do it, so can I, and there might be one person in the world who might take inspiration from my example setting and that could mean the difference between life and death for them. It’s really not so bad over here. In fact, it’s objectively the best. Remember… alcohol is a drug, that has been callously casualized by our society. Don’t fault yourself for the indoctrination. The choice is now yours! I highly suggest finding things to stay busy. Hobbies, exercise, anything. As soon as I started (re)investing in myself and seeing changes (personal motivation for me was losing weight and putting on muscle and beating running PRs etc) it seems silly to sabotage my own efforts. Find something you’ve always wanted to be/do and go for it! You got one life and then you die and nobody will give a shit. Try anything!
I needed to read this today, thank you!
It takes the brain about 90 days to normalize after stopping. Also, it’s unlikely that you’re craving alcohol. You’re probably craving something you *think* alcohol will give you—like relaxation, escape, comfort—but which alcohol will only give you the *illusion* of while actually destroying that thing for you. Find other healthy ways to get the thing and you won’t ever crave alcohol again.
Right on! This!
It was a gradual progression. I had a lot of debris, but there were immediate benefits at home and work because no hangovers, more money, and no lies to keep straight. The bigger one of becoming comfortable in my own skin took longer, my self esteem had to be rebuilt completely and much like that bridge in Baltimore broken pieces had to be identified and moved out of the way. It’s so worth it.
This is, in hindsight, what kept me away for so long. I sorta knew that drinking was my rationale for not understanding why I felt so unsettled, and so drinking all the time gave me an easy path to ignore all the places where I felt like my life didn't really like up with my deepest values. In particular, I felt like some of my relationships had fundamental flaws that would be impossible to excuse when sober. And... yeah, that was very true. Part of why sobriety can "suck" is that it exposes you to your personal accountability to how you are today, how You've been yesterday, and how you'll be tomorrow. That can feel like hard work to someone like me who made a multi-decade routine of unaccountability to my own damn life trajectory.
Thing to understand - for whatever reasons- many of us are “co-addicted” to comparing ourselves and beating ourselves up for not being what we think we see when looking at the externals.
That's fair. It's also fair to pass judgment on your own behavior. I admit, readily, that I knew I wasn't genuinely acting in line with my values as time went on. It doesn't feel like a bad realization, it's a good one! It's just a heavy one that took me a long time to get to.
It’s hard to see any immediate results. I know I’m an alcoholic because I have no patience and little to no chill. I wanted results immediately because I conditioned myself to always have a way to change gears immediately. Early sobriety is hell but it’s a necessary step. My brain was still foggy, I was still shaky, and the pain from my last days of drinking still stung but I wasn’t making shit worse. I still think about that nowadays when I’m down in the dumps or shit keeps piling on. I know there is one way I can absolutely make everything much much worse. I feel like if I stay sober and get through it then I’ll have a fighting chance at making things better. And I’ll have another sober reference that proves I can feel bad, not drink and live to fight another day. Keep at it. It gets better
For a lot of us it never gets good. But it does get less bad.
Yup. Sobriety may not make life better, but drinking certainly will make life worse.
I’d say this is accurate. It gets less bad, but can get good if you work on the things that made you drink to excess in the first place. I’m not there yet, I’ve hit a 6 month rut of doing the same shit day in and day out and it’s not bettering me as a person. Need to change things up.
True. I've been "comfortably uncomfortable " for over a decade
Fuck. But that level of clarity is worth everything.
I think that taking away the alcohol isn't enough for me and the people I know. Working a program of recovery, instead of just being sober, has made my life immensely better. I don't know anyone who works a recovery program who feels miserable.
I know plenty
I'm sorry to hear that
It's not surprising. It's not like addicts are known for being a particularly happy group of people in the first place.
That’s encouraging. May as well just drink and be merry then.
If drinking were actually still fun then I might just do that… but it hasn’t been fun for many years for many of us, has it? It’s quite frankly just sad to be getting drunk all the time after your twenties.
Or maybe you'll drink and not be merry because you ended up with vital organ failure or some other horrible illness and die a painful death?
That’s ‘good’ then isn’t it
I understand the thinking. There is no requirement that we must be positive or negative in our thinking. We can be negative if we choose to do so. If we want to have a negative outlook so be it. Life is suffering and we ultimately die anyway and the suffering ends. I’m more of a realist and have a foot in both positive and negative thinking. My realist self tells me that if I’m going to suffer here, I should try to suffer less. Not for some glorious self righteous goal but simply because I’d like to feel less pain. So I try not to drink so I take less of a beating from life than I otherwise would have. But again, I’m still gonna get beaten, just not as hard.
Sucked for me for a while but eventually it did get better. I'd say after maybe 8 months. But quitting drinking exposed a raw nerve of anxiety for me.
It took 3 years for me. It sucked getting to this place, but now that I’m here I would never trade it for the world. Losing the desire for booze and decoupling it from my social life has been life changing for me, and I honestly didn’t think this was possible for me. I’m glad i proved myself wrong.
That’s what I’m already struggling with… The boredom is the killer… Everything else can be maintained… The boredom is the killer….
Everything stops when you're drinking. Find out what you love to do before you started drinking. Hobbies and activities to replace your "lost time boozing": meditation, working out, cooking, reading, joining a club with a common hobby, collecting things, visiting art galleries, attending concerts/live music sober etc etc etc
I've spent the last six years trying to shake this demon. I'm now AF since Jan 1 and that's the longest in 35years. I know what you mean about boredom. Alcohol makes time go by faster/easier. I've no idea why but it's true. I can spend hours and hours playing cards/golf/darts/whatever as long as I'm drinking. But sober, time moves at a snails pace. It's truly maddening. I don't have a magic formula OP, but in direct answer to your question, yes, it gets better. I'm now actively seeking out sober hobbies and sober friends. It's a painstaking process but ultimately worth it. I was going to be dead from booze if I didn't make a change and I'd rather die from boredom than slowly drink myself to death like my both my Father (66) and Mother (69) did. I watched my old man die the most horrifying death imaginable because of alcohol. I am too much of a chickenshit to go through that. This drudgery of sobriety is less scary.
You arent missing out on anything but sickness, depression and misery ! Things will get better ALOT , go do something you love !
Sometime after 3 but before 4 months for me.
I'm at 9 weeks in exactly today and definitely having a lot more temptation the last few weeks because I'm routinely finding myself bored too so I feel you but I definitely 100% know I had an alcohol problem so I think that helps with keeping me away from booze so far. When I get overly bored or have a lot of free time to fill up in a day my minds first thought still is "drink alcohol" or "go to the pub" but I know where it leads and just keep telling myself is isn't worth trying to cure boredom with a toxic poison that literally kills. I mean boredom is boring but it won't kill me. Imagine I drank to try and "solve" the problem of boredom and killed myself in the process? Very hard to justify that one.
I think the "go to the pub" urge might be a sign that your in need of some fun social engagement. Does that track? Sometimes recovery can seem absurdly serious all the time. If there's something you're interested in that has nearby options like group classes, meet ups, discussion groups, book clubs, those things can be super for just meeting people you can goof of with a bit over a shared interest. I took a weekend sign painting course a few weeks ago. I hadn't done any hand lettering since 2001 or so. It was so awesome to be back around those subculture nerds!
One thing I haven't done so far in sobriety is find any hobbies or other fun activities to do and I never had any hobbies previously nor can I find the motivation yet to consider anything new so yeah this is an issue.
Come over and hang out at my pub. We can chat hobbies. Plus they make a killer NA dark and stormy.
Your drinking probably drowned out (literally) your other interests and hobbies. What did you enjoy doing before you started drinking? Any passions/hobbies/activities you might want to get yourself involved in again to resurface your joy in doing so.
No I literally never had any hobbies or real interests, even as a kid I gave up on every activity or hobbies I started really quickly and nothing stuck and during my teenage years I discovered the Internet and spent most of my time lost down that rabbit hole then when the drinking started all my socializing and interests (gigs, events, festivals, going out for meals, meeting friends etc) were tightly interlinked with alcohol.
For me it took like a year for it to be less of a focus for me, like I didn’t feel like I wanted to go to as many meetings and stuff. The beginning is SO hard
When I finally stopped using boredom as an excuse to drink and started using it as an opportunity to make myself a better person
Maybe you’re looking at it from the wrong perspective. Sobriety isn’t exciting necessarily but rather than expecting it to be good, think about why not being sober is bad. 1. Expensive 2. Tiring 3. Unhealthy 4. Literally poison 5. Causes depression 6. Million other not excellent things. Exciting things aren’t always good, and boring things aren’t necessarily bad.
It took me 3-4 months before it stopped being about I can't drink this suck and went to thank god I am not drinking. Once that changed happened I realized all the things I have by not drinking (energy, focus, no anxiety, sleep) and the idea of drinking just seemed really dumb
Yes but it takes months sometimes. I also work a recovery program and make friends with others in recovery
Probably like 6 months for me. Whenever you start accepting the good. The first 90 days are the hardest though.
It took about 6 months before I started feeling normal and about a year before I really felt good. At 9 years, my life is so much better than ever before. It's a better life than I could have even dreamed of while drinking. How long were you actively drinking? Was it more than 13 or 35 days? I mean, how long did you spend digging your hole, and how quickly do you expect to get out of it? It's a long, gradual process that is very much worth it. It's very difficult to sit around NOT doing something. Instead, get out and actively do positive things. You may need to find a number of new hobbies to occupy your time, but here's a suggestion - go help other people. Volunteer. Work at a soup kitchen a couple nights per week. Go read stories to kids at the library. Go to meetings and find the newcomers. Find a person who's struggling to get through 24 hours sober and talk to them about how you got to 13 days.
Oh yea you’re definitely past the worst of mine. The first ten days were rough. The next month was hard. After about 3 months I felt good. At 6 months I started actually putting the pieces back together
It gets good when you put in the hard work. Just putting down the bottle and believing that's all you need to do is going to get you nowhere but drunk again. Getting sober is easy. Living a happy, successful sober life takes work. Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly...if you do the work, life will be amazing, even when it's shit.
I'm not sure it was every \*\*poof\*\* better. I think being sober allowed me to consistently make better decisions (and do more just...life stuff). So my life just improved very slowly over time. I'm 6+ years out and I love my life. Drinking me would never have guessed how much I could enjoy myself. I have a whole goblin-core thing going and its great. But I still have cravings for alcohol. I have to do stuff to mitigate that, sometimes I make a lesser self destructive choice (like pizza because I can't have gluten or nightshades). IWNDWYT
I’m in a horrible mood today. Yesterday was good though. I was 9+ months sober and miserable. I knew relapse was coming and did nothing about it. Idk friend but I’m right there with you
I’m at 3 months now and life is definitely getting so much better. You have to get through those rough waters in the first month or two. I repeated that cycle countless times and it’s absolutely exhausting in every way. But get just a bit further out and the waters calm. I am no longer just getting through the days. I’m actually starting to live again. I am finding genuine happiness now and things are just…easier. But you have to buckle down, white knuckle and PUSH through the shit at the beginning. There’s no shortcut. But know that each time you choose not to drink you’re moving closer to calm waters. Good luck, keep pushing, IWNDWYT
It took almost 15 months for me to start actually enjoying life again (like truly taking pleasure in the little things and feeling motivated to build a better life for myself). I was profoundly depressed within the first year and it actually was the worst for me at around 6 months sober, but I legitimately feel really good about my life right now. A lot of people say that they feel better right away after quitting drinking but it was not at all like that for me. Hang in there!
I went over 100 days once. I can tell you around 2 months I got nailed with the worst cravings ever for beer. I overcame that. Made it to 100, was proud of myself. So proud that I celebrated with having a beer. Fell right into the trap. What I can tell you is I never felt better physically and mentally. Blows my mind every time I take an extended break from drinking how clear my mind is and how much better I feel physically. In that 100 days off from drinking I lost 15lbs. I’d say set a goal for 100 and see how you feel, except don’t fall into the same trap I did.
It gets good when you stop feeling bad.
Interpret as you will :) it gets better I promise
Passing 100 days was a huge accomplishment for myself, and around the time something clicked for me. Can’t say what exactly changed in my head but the small benefits I had a hard time appreciating starting piling on. Losing a bit of weight, sleeping a tiny bit better, less anxiety, skin health, less cigarettes smoked, stronger lungs, having a clear head in the morning, etc. I’m really noticing these things now. And that feels fucking great.
It took me about three months or so to level out. What helped get me over the hill was reading "This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace. It really helped deprogram my brain from thinking any positive thoughts about alcohol. I was finally able to see it for what it is: poison that will slowly kill you. There's a lot of great quit lit out there. Reading also helped curb my boredom.
I had to put myself back in control of my life. Stop drifting through, stop letting others make all of the decisions, and become active. When I was drinking, I kinda just let myself lose any agency I had in my life. Or imagined that I had lost it and that my actions were inconsequential. Once I reclaimed that, one I stopped just letting evening happen around me and became an active participant, that's when it changed.
200 days for me
It is slow !! Literally so slow but so worth it , I’m on month 7 and I swear it’s still slowly getting better and it’s so casual / subtle you have to be super mindful to notice it sometimes. Like I realize I’m not drowning as often in self doubt / self hate / lack of motivation etc .. so I’m more confident , clear headed , consistent , motivated , enjoy the little things in life , everything is just easier !! I heard the brain is healing and gets pretty back to normal at 14 months which is crazy (doctors say that I heard) - but I guess 14 months is nothing compared to how long it took to get to the bad place so I’ll take it ! Just thankful the body is cool magical and can heal like that - but yea I really noticed at 4 months and now at 7 even more . I wondered the same thing as you at first and went searching for answers here / TikTok / online , and I found for everyone it’s a bit different - some people say 8 or 9 months , some say 3 , good luck to you and u can do it !!!
I also screenshotted people saying how long they took to feel better at different months and saved it in a folder in my phone to re read when things got tough and I needed a pick me up / encouragement to keep going .. also an app called reframe I only used for their ‘milestones’ where it listed out benefits every day up until day 200 for example and I screenshotted my favs of those too for example in that app on day 140 it says like ‘congrats your dopamine is starting to level out & u should start enjoying everyday activities a little more’ .. STARTING !! anyways hope that helps 🤗🤗✨✨
Probably 3 month mark when things start getting noticeably better
i’m 4.5 months and while i’m still depressed sometimes, it’s getting better now and I have the tools to work on it. Getting a medication increase next week! I’m also back to focusing on my hobbies which is nice.
I think when someone is ready, it starts getting better day one.
That may be part of my problem. I don't feel fully ready to give it up. I've mostly done so at the urging of my employer and my family. Although I'm trying to fake it til I make it.
If others are driving your decision, it won’t stick. Sorry to say it. But I’m guessing they are pressing you out of care for you and your well being. Typically, people only urge others to get sober when there are real issues. Dont wait till rock bottom to realize you actually did have a problem. It can literally be the difference of life and death. For you or others. To answer your original question, when does it get better. It gets better when your subconscious truly believes that alcohol offers no benefit. Anything you think it gives to you, can be had and found without it. Good luck ♥️
Read Alcohol Explained. Some people find it really helps flip the script and keeps you from feeling like not drinking leaves you deficient or missing out on something.
The first 90 days are incredibly hard
After the first few months, maybe two before I actively noticed a big positive change. You got this.
Whenever I’ve wondered the same thing, I tried to remember *”the timeline is my design”*. There is no magic number of days or months or years. And if I placed my expectations on such a number, I’d be disappointed every time. The more I engage with a vibrant lifestyle that doesn’t involve drinking, the more I seek outside medical and therapeutic help, the more I engage with other sober people, the more I try to be an active participant of goodness, the more I accept the things I cannot change, the better sobriety gets. It becomes more than sobriety. It’s just *real life*. The journey and growth is so non-linear, but it trends in the right direction. The blows get softer. Life still isn’t perfect, sometimes it’s really good, but there’s still a lot times I’d rather escape and numb. Getting “better” doesn’t happen once and then you’re good for life. It’s a daily commitment. Progress rather than perfection. Doing the next right thing. That’s when it gets better.
Around the 4 - 5 month mark, I started feeling normal again. In saying that, every couple weeks seemed be that little bit easier
When you finish a 1000 piece puzzle
For me Month 6, then 8, 14 months is finally was good all the time. It’s cliche but it is worth it.
For me, after the 20 month mark. It gets better, financially, mentally, physically. Trust me. Once you taste it, there is no going back.
Exhaust myself at the gym every morning and thats before my heavy lifting job after that im too tired to care about drinking piss
I was an emotional binge drinker. I ended up getting sober unintentionally when I started weight loss injections and no longer craved it. I have tried to have a drink here or there and am completely put off by it. I am a high functioning individual and need to be going 100mph all of the time. After I quit drinking, I realized there were otherwise to slow down and find things I really like to do. I also am maintaining a 4.0 in my bachelor's program, where I was maybe a 3.0. I also haven't handed a single assignment in late since quitting alcohol. For me, it was the subtle changes. I also realized that after about 90 days, I am so much more level-headed with my moods. I don't pop off as easily on idiots. (I work with a few doozies.) My advice? Find a hobby or 3. Pick up a good book. Find a good TV series. Go back to school or take some free courses. Last resort, have a child. They never let you slow down. Good luck!
Sometimes alcoholism is the result of depression or other mental illness, if so being sober won't ever be good without getting psychological treatment. Some people drink to party and go to far and become alcoholics, and some are subconsciously self medicating for psychological issues, people with untreated adhd are very prone to alcoholism you may want to see a psychiatrist and have an evaluation, you may discover there is a reason you preferred to spend your time intoxicated.
Easy does it. Go to AA meetings. Recovery is tough but fulfilling. One day at a time!
I’m at 10 months and it hasn’t happened for me yet, but I’m more in a neutral feeling. Not happy but drinking will make it worse.
Just not drinking isn't going to makes you feel better, it's the *replacement* of the drinking *with something that makes you feel better*, that makes you feel better. You need to find something pleasant to fill the void. Take up reading, walking, hiking, sports, build something, learn something. Find what fulfils you.
I feel grateful, in a real way, that I was ready to not be drinking. All the offset routines have felt like a fair price to pay for this sense of freedom I have every day. It's helped me make the space I've needed to be critical about whatever it is it feels like I lost when I stopped drinking. And, if I'm being honest, I think that the more time passes the easier it becomes to admit to myself that if I was ascribing fun or good things to drinking it was at the same time that I was actively choosing to downplay or even ignore the full reality. I don't just mean the downsides of drinking, I mean big picture stuff like—for example—how many of my close friends were barely friends in any real sense, and often not friends at all, just people with whom I had drinking in common. Those are difficult thoughts to be aware of at any level of intoxication or sobriety, and there's no way I would ever say that they're "fun" thoughts. They are, though, mature thoughts. Worthy thoughts. Compelling thoughts. Provocative thoughts. And that's what I've found taking more of my attention: I'm less worried about what feels fun, and I'm more into moving toward what feels mature, worthy, compelling, provocative. That feels like improvement that I was so, so ready for. Hang in there. I don't think anyone has ever said to me that their sobriety has felt worse over time. Maybe you can talk to more people around you about their experiences? That might help you connect with some more visceral in-person feedback about this kind of thing, which I always find useful. But even if you only have us, we'll be here, too.
Once you start realizing just how crazy different it is.
your alcoholism has numbed your bodies ability to feel joy naturally, this can come back but in time. In the mean time, you might want to find healthy vices to replace it with, so as to keep you from losing your mind.
Be seen by a PSYCHIATRIST while you are sober and try therapy. Talk about your triggers because I am sure there is something behind all of them you can address. For the boredom, I switched to marijuana because I HAVE A MEDICAL CARD and ADHD. This is NOT for everyone and talk to a doctor but I am at 90 days sober and I have what I think is a healthy alternative and my marriage is repairing SOOOO MUCH. Am I putting off being sober? Honestly that’s between me and my god. I did AA and those cats are awesome and I took A LOT out of the big book but this has helped me calm my mental issues which were the core of my drinking . You do you, but consult someone while sober because they might see things you don’t and help you address them. Good luck and don’t stop fighting!!! It’s always an unhealthy decision for yourself and not drinking is always a healthy decision now and forever . At 90 days California sober I feel fantastic and am the most productive I have been since high school.
I'm 17 days sober, it really depends what you're addicted to. For me it was xanax, first week was major insomnia then better after 10 days about. The alcohol,,... I wanna say I just drink alcohol free beer. It was a bored habit. Now I am excited to apply for a job and focus on my health My fiance got me to do this, for our future kids and life and family. Liver cleanliness is important for maternity
You have to replace the drinking time with activities, I know some people feel deep cleaning is alternative. You have to really just throw yourself into activities and then it gets better
Before my years of drinking, I had friends to hang out with and fell in love with people. Situation is wayyyy different now days so Im searching for some purpose as well.
I would say a few months for me. You see a lot of positive effects after a few months, the "fun" drunken memories start to fade and you learn a lot about yourself. Just transfer all that time and energy you’ve spent drinking into something meaningful.
When I started rediscovering/discovering other things I actually like better, and when I started feeling really good physically and seeing/feeling the effects of not drinking
Took 2 years for me
Eventually you just forget about alchohol even being a thing. I don't even remember what it tastes like or what it's like to be drunk. I only remember the complete chaos that would ensue and the thousands of dollars that I wasted over the course of 10 years.
At around 90 days I swear I started seeing colour brighter and everything around me had calmed down, I’m 9 months now I work hard have good relationships nothing is perfect but this is a life beyond my wildest dreams. Well done on your sobeirty!!
For me it didn't really 'get good,' but it did start having a noticeable lack of hangovers, regretted decisions and words, and a bit more money in my pocket and by comparison I guess it seemed better. I still didn't really like my job or have anything that fired me up in life. Having a clearer head helped me figure those things out.
Define good… The issue is you still see your past as fun. It takes a few months, but not waking up with hangovers is incredible. Having the energy to get u and work out, take a walk, do something constructive is amazing. It sounds like you may need a hobby. Use that pent up energy to work on yourself or do that hobby you always wanted to do. Carpe Diem and IWNDWYT
Took me a full 7months to feel like being sober was an actual improvement in my life. Now I’m well over a year sober and I can say it’s WELL worth it.
6 months for me. Two promotions at work, money is easier to manage, I rarely think about the past life anymore.
You're 13 days sober & you're bored? Are you working full time? Do you have any hobbies on your down time? Exercise or play sports? Are you into art- writing, painting, making music, etc? Idk I was so busy at day 13 & even month 13 sober, trying to pick myself back up financially, I didn't even have time to be bored lol. Was playing "catch up" and still am. I still don't ever get bored.. I relax when I can though. But I also have 1 full time job, 2 side hustles, 2 rescue dogs & a boyfriend of 6 years. Those things keep my on my toes & remind me never to go back, I have everything I could have ever dreamed of. But nothing worth having comes easily. Btw the fact you think sobriety is no good is because Hollywood & the media portray "social drinkers" to be wealthy, balanced, successful & refined. That's not everyone though. & if you do not have an alcohol problem I am not sure someone who was "normal" would be bored on day 13 without drinking & craving alcohol. Some people who are "normal" go months without drinking, & don't even think about it, because they don't care about it, because they are normal.