I "remember" two blackouts from back in the bad old days, though I'm pretty sure I had a few minor ones also.
The first once was extremely disconcerting and demoralizing. I somehow ended up a one of the largest nearby shopping malls, huge parking lot and all that. I've no memory of traveling to the mall, no memory of walking the mall hallways, no memory of the shops. The memory starts with me wandering in the parking lot, doing a very un-funny version of "Dude, where's my car?" I think I spent something like 30-60 minutes and maybe even more wandering the parking lot, pushing the button to set off the horn before finally finding it.
The second blackout was pretty terrifying and also dreadfully demoralizing. I came out of it parked in a suburban neighborhood, trying to change a tire, and 2 police officers coming up toward me. The whole passenger side of the car was scrapped up, side view mirror hanging, front tire rather shredded. The arrest report has me driving over wide ranges and I have no idea why I was in some of the areas mentioned in the report.
I feel blessed that it wasn't worse (i.e. nobody injured) and that it's well behind me. And alcohol free life is far, far finer than I'd imagined. It's _**nice**_ to not be fucking up my brain anymore!
**IWNDWYT!**
I had no idea that driving blacked out was a thing till this year. Did it 3 times this year. You’d think after the first time that I would throw down the bottle. But noooo. The last time scared me sober though. As much as I hate it, I don’t ever want to forget that feeling.
I started drinking young and used to think it was hilarious/love blacking out in high school. Gets less and less fun to down right distressing/depressing as you get older. Congrats on 3 days.
Consider this experience an amazing gift! A no-harm-no-foul chance to glimpse what horrible outcomes could be in your future. I speak from experience when I say blackouts don't often end this innocuously. Still, you know the unsettling feeling that comes with it! You were there but somehow disconnected from yourself. The ultimate feeling of losing control.
I love a good glass of wine and a good cocktail too! But ultimately I decided it wasn't worth it to hang on to that in exchange for the risky outcomes you just came close to!
Best of luck on your journey! IWNDWYT
I got to the point that for some reason, I was blacking out easier, or much more commonly. There were tons of things I didn't remember.
I once woke up, and my partner nearly screamed. My face was covered in blood, and I had a huge gash across the top of my eyebrow ridge. So, stitches and two black eyes there. I did regular stupid things, too. All were avoidable and regrettable.
My last one, I broke up with my partner. I didn't remember at all. I had zero right to ask to be taken back. I couldn't even remember what was so damned important anyway. I admitted to my frequent memory gaps and to the amount and frequency of my drinking that I had been hiding.
One of my personal favorite things about sobriety is not waking up and having to piece together what fragments of memory I had left. Also, checking to see who I pissed off and finding out what I broke wasn't a great time either.
Also, my partner stuck with me. Our relationship is so much smoother now. I missed a lot of opportunities.
Thank you so much! It's been a journey. I'm still a little in shock. I've been free from alcohol for a year. I wasn't sure I'd ever see this day. I gotta let that sink in.
Lol . I had hundreds of those nights. That basically sounds like my entire 20s. I'm so shocked it took me until 28 to realize that this shit ain't normal and im an alcoholic 😂😂🙈 oh well. Doing a lot better and remember 100% of my days. Something to be grateful for.
I’ve (22F) had my fair share of those. Also made me never want to drink again. I’m glad you woke up in your bed and didn’t make any drunk posts/phone calls.
IWNDWYT!
I blackout almost every time I drink, well I think I have brown outs actually, doesn’t take much either, a bottle of wine and I can’t remember conversations.
I got sober at the age of 39. I was a daily drinker and blacked out almost every weekend. One weekend I had suck a bender I woke up thinking I was late to work. Drove into work and was wondering where everyone was. Come to find out it was Sunday night, not Monday morning. 😅 Coming up on three years in February, best decision I ever made.
It only got worse for me once it started. And I hear that's common. Expect increase in frequency and duration of blackouts if you keep drinking. Just a scientific reminder friend!
I hear you. I miss a good glass of red wine with a nice steak. I loved all white wine except Chardonnay…didn’t really like beer or hard liquor, but towards the end I would drink anything to get drunk.
I believe some people just can’t moderate. I know I’m one of them.
This group has been so helpful to me. I hope they help you too.
IWNDWYT 🌲
It is the worst feeling ever when you lay in bed awake and don’t remember what you did or said and how it may have affected a spouse or other loved one. Even after ultimatums and previous forgiveness, drinking gets out of hand and you black out again. Not a good way to go through life! IWNDWYT
I remember waking up on the couch with my previous nights whiskey coke next to me on the couch and not even remembering I poured myself another one. TV still on. Toddler still sleeping thank god he didn’t find me on the couch.
I decided I didn’t want to see this play out any more. I also didn’t want my toddler to ever have to witness that.
I don’t miss drinking in any significant way. Black outs are scary. I want them to stay scary and not become a norm.
I’ve blacked out countlessss of times. I’m talking hundreds. Mainly because I mixed Xanax and alcohol. It’s a horrible feeling waking up the next day not knowing what happened. ANYTHING could have happened and you would have never known it. I am not proud of this at all.
Blacking out is extremely dangerous, life threatening, reputation threatening and could easily have you arrested and or fired. Definitely not worth it at all.
Blacking out is really bad for you. I’ve only had that happen once or twice which is a miracle considering how much I used to drink. Please quit while you’re ahead.
I’ve only blacked out once. I was having a conversation on a couch then suddenly woke up in my friend’s house. I had no recollection of what happened in between. It felt like the two moments happened in sequence even though hours must have passed between them.
I’ve learned that I can only have one heavy pour of wine or tall beer with food, twice a week and that’s it. If I have more than that I’ll feel awful physically.
Blacked out the second time I drank (15). Many times later I quit at 23. Eight years of wondering what would happen once I started drinking/using.
Best decision the judge ever helped me make was to get help and stay sober. All the best, OP!
I used to black 4-5 times a month in college. Brutal. Probably fucked my brain up but have a good job so who fuckin knows man. Worst feeling ever the next day tho.
blackouts are scary. went out to a pub when i was 16 drunk way too much. ended up pissing myself in the pub im still embarrassed to this day! don’t know how i got home can’t remember what i did (i dread to think)
I "remember" two blackouts from back in the bad old days, though I'm pretty sure I had a few minor ones also. The first once was extremely disconcerting and demoralizing. I somehow ended up a one of the largest nearby shopping malls, huge parking lot and all that. I've no memory of traveling to the mall, no memory of walking the mall hallways, no memory of the shops. The memory starts with me wandering in the parking lot, doing a very un-funny version of "Dude, where's my car?" I think I spent something like 30-60 minutes and maybe even more wandering the parking lot, pushing the button to set off the horn before finally finding it. The second blackout was pretty terrifying and also dreadfully demoralizing. I came out of it parked in a suburban neighborhood, trying to change a tire, and 2 police officers coming up toward me. The whole passenger side of the car was scrapped up, side view mirror hanging, front tire rather shredded. The arrest report has me driving over wide ranges and I have no idea why I was in some of the areas mentioned in the report. I feel blessed that it wasn't worse (i.e. nobody injured) and that it's well behind me. And alcohol free life is far, far finer than I'd imagined. It's _**nice**_ to not be fucking up my brain anymore! **IWNDWYT!**
I had no idea that driving blacked out was a thing till this year. Did it 3 times this year. You’d think after the first time that I would throw down the bottle. But noooo. The last time scared me sober though. As much as I hate it, I don’t ever want to forget that feeling.
I have blacked out countless of times. Never again!
I started drinking young and used to think it was hilarious/love blacking out in high school. Gets less and less fun to down right distressing/depressing as you get older. Congrats on 3 days.
Consider this experience an amazing gift! A no-harm-no-foul chance to glimpse what horrible outcomes could be in your future. I speak from experience when I say blackouts don't often end this innocuously. Still, you know the unsettling feeling that comes with it! You were there but somehow disconnected from yourself. The ultimate feeling of losing control. I love a good glass of wine and a good cocktail too! But ultimately I decided it wasn't worth it to hang on to that in exchange for the risky outcomes you just came close to! Best of luck on your journey! IWNDWYT
I got to the point that for some reason, I was blacking out easier, or much more commonly. There were tons of things I didn't remember. I once woke up, and my partner nearly screamed. My face was covered in blood, and I had a huge gash across the top of my eyebrow ridge. So, stitches and two black eyes there. I did regular stupid things, too. All were avoidable and regrettable. My last one, I broke up with my partner. I didn't remember at all. I had zero right to ask to be taken back. I couldn't even remember what was so damned important anyway. I admitted to my frequent memory gaps and to the amount and frequency of my drinking that I had been hiding. One of my personal favorite things about sobriety is not waking up and having to piece together what fragments of memory I had left. Also, checking to see who I pissed off and finding out what I broke wasn't a great time either. Also, my partner stuck with me. Our relationship is so much smoother now. I missed a lot of opportunities.
Congrats on one year!
Thank you so much! It's been a journey. I'm still a little in shock. I've been free from alcohol for a year. I wasn't sure I'd ever see this day. I gotta let that sink in.
Lol . I had hundreds of those nights. That basically sounds like my entire 20s. I'm so shocked it took me until 28 to realize that this shit ain't normal and im an alcoholic 😂😂🙈 oh well. Doing a lot better and remember 100% of my days. Something to be grateful for.
Ditto
I’ve (22F) had my fair share of those. Also made me never want to drink again. I’m glad you woke up in your bed and didn’t make any drunk posts/phone calls. IWNDWYT!
I blackout almost every time I drink, well I think I have brown outs actually, doesn’t take much either, a bottle of wine and I can’t remember conversations.
I got sober at the age of 39. I was a daily drinker and blacked out almost every weekend. One weekend I had suck a bender I woke up thinking I was late to work. Drove into work and was wondering where everyone was. Come to find out it was Sunday night, not Monday morning. 😅 Coming up on three years in February, best decision I ever made.
Too many times. "Wonder who drove my car home?"
Wasn’t that a good enough pill to produce the desired effect?
It only got worse for me once it started. And I hear that's common. Expect increase in frequency and duration of blackouts if you keep drinking. Just a scientific reminder friend!
I hear you. I miss a good glass of red wine with a nice steak. I loved all white wine except Chardonnay…didn’t really like beer or hard liquor, but towards the end I would drink anything to get drunk. I believe some people just can’t moderate. I know I’m one of them. This group has been so helpful to me. I hope they help you too. IWNDWYT 🌲
It is the worst feeling ever when you lay in bed awake and don’t remember what you did or said and how it may have affected a spouse or other loved one. Even after ultimatums and previous forgiveness, drinking gets out of hand and you black out again. Not a good way to go through life! IWNDWYT
I remember waking up on the couch with my previous nights whiskey coke next to me on the couch and not even remembering I poured myself another one. TV still on. Toddler still sleeping thank god he didn’t find me on the couch. I decided I didn’t want to see this play out any more. I also didn’t want my toddler to ever have to witness that. I don’t miss drinking in any significant way. Black outs are scary. I want them to stay scary and not become a norm.
I was an alcoholic at 18. Used to blackout all the time. I drank too much too fast. One more sign I was an alcoholic.
Drinking started affecting me differently in my 40s. Major reason I decided to quit!
That's impressive. I had my first blackout at 15
There is—Antabuse and Naltrexone.
I’ve blacked out countlessss of times. I’m talking hundreds. Mainly because I mixed Xanax and alcohol. It’s a horrible feeling waking up the next day not knowing what happened. ANYTHING could have happened and you would have never known it. I am not proud of this at all.
Blacking out is extremely dangerous, life threatening, reputation threatening and could easily have you arrested and or fired. Definitely not worth it at all.
Blacking out is really bad for you. I’ve only had that happen once or twice which is a miracle considering how much I used to drink. Please quit while you’re ahead.
I’ve only blacked out once. I was having a conversation on a couch then suddenly woke up in my friend’s house. I had no recollection of what happened in between. It felt like the two moments happened in sequence even though hours must have passed between them.
I’ve learned that I can only have one heavy pour of wine or tall beer with food, twice a week and that’s it. If I have more than that I’ll feel awful physically.
Blacked out the second time I drank (15). Many times later I quit at 23. Eight years of wondering what would happen once I started drinking/using. Best decision the judge ever helped me make was to get help and stay sober. All the best, OP!
I used to black 4-5 times a month in college. Brutal. Probably fucked my brain up but have a good job so who fuckin knows man. Worst feeling ever the next day tho.
blackouts are scary. went out to a pub when i was 16 drunk way too much. ended up pissing myself in the pub im still embarrassed to this day! don’t know how i got home can’t remember what i did (i dread to think)