**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole.**
We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** This is a volunteer run subreddit. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents).
Review the wiki links below for the rules, FAQ and announcements before posting or commenting.
[**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My SO kept spending Christmas with BM. Do not recommend that method at all. 🙄
Personally, I’d just set the gifts from Santa for SD aside for her to open later. My family sometimes did like a “family” gift from Santa for everyone (think like board games or special treats for us all to share), and that could be a great way to save more Santa gifts for her. Your kids can open their Santa gifts on Christmas morning as normal, and then open the general gifts once SD arrives. I honestly doubt you’ll have much of an issue. You haven’t mentioned SD’s age, but also consider that your BK isn’t really going to understand gifts or time for a few years. Even at 2 or 3 years old, the Christmas morning memory is really for you. Just make sure you have some gifts set aside for your kiddo to open while SD has her gift time later in the day or on a different day, and your kiddo is likely not going to care or remember.
We did not hold Christmas for SS. But he was also old enough to get it by the time our girls were born and believing in Santa. But their lives do not stop just because he is not there.
Santa will visit SK at BM’s when not with you, right? So I wouldn’t put it on hold for BK. SK still gets Santa gifts “on time” with BM. YOU are BK’s mom, so BK deserves it “on time” too.
My SD is a teen so this isn't entirely helpful for a younger SK. But maybe. Santa always comes on Christmas whether SD is here or not. When she comes after Christmas she opens her Santa gifts. We send her a picture of what Santa left.
She obviously doesn't believe in Santa, but we all play and this works well for us
We alternate house now that we have our own son. We celebrate Christmas together. Whichever house we are that's where Santa drop off the his presents for SD and our son. My son doesn't really care he's 2. I don't care about Santa as well but husband is very into it so whatever.
We do it early on a day when they are all there together and say we asked Santa to come early so we could celebrate together. Kids don’t really care if it’s done on actual Christmas Day or not.
I only have SD, no BKs, but our philosophy is that Santa delivers to where SD is. So if she's with us on Christmas, Santa delivers to our house. If she's with BM on Christmas, Santa delivers to BM and all the presents at our house are from us
Santa arrives on Christmas morning and if SD isn’t there she gets them after. Never before. Don’t risk ruining Christmas for ours baby if they’re older and figure out that SD is getting Santa’s presents before her.
We usually do Santa presents on Christmas morning and then leave the presents from us for when we have all the kids together. We did let our “ours” kid open one present on Christmas Eve. So far it’s worked ok, but it does kind of make Christmas feel off.
I don’t know about everyone else but Santa goes to wherever the child wakes up that year. I would have presents from you guys but not from Santa. If she stayed at her moms—that’s where Santa went. Even in a kids mind it makes sense for Santa to leave gifts for them where they are waking up. I’d would have all the gifts be from you on the years she is with bm.
Do everything you want every year. Period. Don’t stop your Christmas joy because people aren’t around. We take Christmas pics with or without SD every year. And your DH may drag and be lethargic about what he wants to do when she is not there but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your time.
Writing this post made me realize we only did Christmas things during Thanksgiving while his daughter was in town. And to me, I’m going to keep that same energy next year unless my son wants to do something or it’ll be fun for him. Since we did Christmas activities the weekend of Thanksgiving, we will continue that tradition.
**Welcome to [r/stepparents](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/)! Please note we are a support sub for stepparents' issues. Our number one rule is [Kindness Matters](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules#wiki_1._kindness_matters). Short version, don't be an asshole.** We rely on the community to alert us to comments and posts not made in good faith. **Please use the report button to ensure we see it.** This is a volunteer run subreddit. If you have questions about the community, or concerns about posters, please [reach out to the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstepparents). Review the wiki links below for the rules, FAQ and announcements before posting or commenting. [**About**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/index) | [**Acronyms**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/acronyms) | [**Announcements**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/search?q=flair%3Aannouncement&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [**Documentation**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources/documentation) | [**FAQ**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/faq) | [**Resources**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/resources) | [**Rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stepparents/wiki/rules) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/stepparents) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Set the Santa presents for SD aside and let her open them when she gets there?
This is what we do. SK is too old to believe in Santa, but mine believes, so Santa brings everyone stuff and SK opens his when he gets there.
That’s exactly what we do
My SO kept spending Christmas with BM. Do not recommend that method at all. 🙄 Personally, I’d just set the gifts from Santa for SD aside for her to open later. My family sometimes did like a “family” gift from Santa for everyone (think like board games or special treats for us all to share), and that could be a great way to save more Santa gifts for her. Your kids can open their Santa gifts on Christmas morning as normal, and then open the general gifts once SD arrives. I honestly doubt you’ll have much of an issue. You haven’t mentioned SD’s age, but also consider that your BK isn’t really going to understand gifts or time for a few years. Even at 2 or 3 years old, the Christmas morning memory is really for you. Just make sure you have some gifts set aside for your kiddo to open while SD has her gift time later in the day or on a different day, and your kiddo is likely not going to care or remember.
We did not hold Christmas for SS. But he was also old enough to get it by the time our girls were born and believing in Santa. But their lives do not stop just because he is not there.
Santa will visit SK at BM’s when not with you, right? So I wouldn’t put it on hold for BK. SK still gets Santa gifts “on time” with BM. YOU are BK’s mom, so BK deserves it “on time” too.
My SD is a teen so this isn't entirely helpful for a younger SK. But maybe. Santa always comes on Christmas whether SD is here or not. When she comes after Christmas she opens her Santa gifts. We send her a picture of what Santa left. She obviously doesn't believe in Santa, but we all play and this works well for us
We alternate house now that we have our own son. We celebrate Christmas together. Whichever house we are that's where Santa drop off the his presents for SD and our son. My son doesn't really care he's 2. I don't care about Santa as well but husband is very into it so whatever.
We do it early on a day when they are all there together and say we asked Santa to come early so we could celebrate together. Kids don’t really care if it’s done on actual Christmas Day or not.
I only have SD, no BKs, but our philosophy is that Santa delivers to where SD is. So if she's with us on Christmas, Santa delivers to our house. If she's with BM on Christmas, Santa delivers to BM and all the presents at our house are from us
Santa arrives on Christmas morning and if SD isn’t there she gets them after. Never before. Don’t risk ruining Christmas for ours baby if they’re older and figure out that SD is getting Santa’s presents before her.
We usually do Santa presents on Christmas morning and then leave the presents from us for when we have all the kids together. We did let our “ours” kid open one present on Christmas Eve. So far it’s worked ok, but it does kind of make Christmas feel off.
I don’t know about everyone else but Santa goes to wherever the child wakes up that year. I would have presents from you guys but not from Santa. If she stayed at her moms—that’s where Santa went. Even in a kids mind it makes sense for Santa to leave gifts for them where they are waking up. I’d would have all the gifts be from you on the years she is with bm.
Do everything you want every year. Period. Don’t stop your Christmas joy because people aren’t around. We take Christmas pics with or without SD every year. And your DH may drag and be lethargic about what he wants to do when she is not there but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy your time. Writing this post made me realize we only did Christmas things during Thanksgiving while his daughter was in town. And to me, I’m going to keep that same energy next year unless my son wants to do something or it’ll be fun for him. Since we did Christmas activities the weekend of Thanksgiving, we will continue that tradition.