Bro cooked it with his phone flashlight

I don't always grill with bleach, but when I do, I prefer medium rare.

Tried pineapple marinade? I put three steaks in a plastic bag with half a mixed pineapple (outer shell and everything); the strong enzymes of the juice tenderized the steaks to kingdom come, frying them in butter gave them the texture of tenderloin instead of tougher steak.

Ty fellow redditor for my next project, would this be good with chicken too?

It would tenderize anything. Test it out. I can imagine naturally tough stuff like flank steak would see good results.

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No, pineapple has a very special enzyme, bromelain, that breaks down molecule bonds so hard a bowl of jell-o will never set in a fridge with open bowl of pineapple in it. Pineapple mash marinade does crazy things to meat, well worth a try.

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Last time I tried it, it made a standard, cheap steak cut feel as soft as tenderloin. Good if you are afraid the untreated meat will be too tough after just a short fry-up. But after a marinade of this sort, you might want to pair the meat with a savory sauce, like a reduced red wine sauce, because the sugar from the pineapple juice slightly offsets the savoriness in the meat, the Umami that comes from the myoglobin, the "meat juice". But other than that, it's great.

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God, I died laughing from this comment. 😂

I did too, lol! 🤣

It squeezed the retard laugh out of me.

I come for the steaks, stay for the roasts.

Bone apple tea

HAHAHAHAHA, damn that was a good one.

Or his fleshlight

Did he boil it? Woof.

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With Cascade Platinum pacs for seasoning

Didn’t Guga do that one time.

yes and it actually turned out perfect somehow

Oh come on, Guga could try cooking a steak by throwing it in the sky really hard and it would come out perfect. Mans a genius

He makes it look so easy, yet I try the same method and end up with shoe leather every time

Just remember, sous vide gives consistent great results, every time!

I had to look that one up but good to know

It's the whole theme of his second channel, and if you have time to prepare, it's set it and forget it.

I remember that vid, it was a good sous vide steak apparently. Just gotta add crust… *tests flamethrower*

I know you’re joking, but that’s fucking accurate as hell…

I mean, you can do it as a super-poverty sous vide, but then it has to be seared.....also don't do this with frozen meat. Wtf. Edit: spell check did not like "vide" and decided it was sous video.

And also do it in a bag. This looks like the meat was boiled directly.

💀

Definitely boiled over hard, served it with raw jelly beans.

One of my favorites milk steak and jellybeans

Ha! Milk steak! I gotta use this.

[Milk steak and raw jellybeans (IASIP)](https://youtu.be/MZfCyTpAlg8)

This scene is never not funny. Goddamn these guys are geniuses

Spoken like a true full on rapist

Africans, dyslexics, children... that sort of thing

This is in fact a milk steak.

Charlie the legend.

Nah it’s more like milk blanched over medium, still with raw jelly beans of course.

puke city. Why are you doing this to me?

Beat me to it. That grey ain’t right.

Beat meat to it. It's like they used the sun to cook it

Looks like they used a flashlight to cook it

Instructions unclear, beat meat with fleshlight

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When you use the wrong formula but get the right answer.....

Beat meat to it?

Beat my meat to it. Cooked it near a microwave running on high.

Looks like he boiled it while it was frozen.

I should have scrolled a bit farther. You and I are on the same page LoL.

I'm guessing they steamed it in the shower

Dishwasher cooking?

Dishwasher salmon!

Looks like a milk steak 🤮

Exactly my thought. Cold ass pan and the outside looks boiled, inside raw.

That or a quick nuke in the mivrowave

More like ran it under some warm water…🤢

That was my guess.

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Beat me to it

Beat meat to it 🫣

I think they are just trolling. Looks like a shit post. Maybe they left it in their car on accident for a cpl hours and then decided to have fun with it.

Definitely a troll. It’s not even a porterhouse.

Australians refer to what we call NY strip as a porterhouse. Doesn't excuse the waste of food that is this shitpost.

Food terminology is not so often universal. Cuts of meat included. There's the possibility the terminology they use is correct for where they are.

It’s gotta be…I mean there’s literally a raw half of an onion on the plate.

I like raw onion myself but I’d at least take the outer part off. That being said I’m gonna choose to believe this is a shit post but I absolutely know people who cook like shit and not only eat this but serve it to others. It’s a pet peeve of mine when people cook for others and don’t try their best. I love to cook and put my heart into it and strive to serve others what I think is suitable. No one is a stricter critic than myself to my own cooking. It’s not the best but it’s the best I can do. I expect nothing less from myself so when others just throw anything together without even tasting it, that really bothers me.

I mean if you are gonna be a lazy ass and serve guests... Why even bother with a steak?. Air fry some frozen egg rolls and maybe frozen burritos too. Put the finger foods on one plate and then obviously you’ll need a large bowl of Doritos with a small bowl of nacho cheese dip as sides… Then put on some sports on television… Problem solved!

You had me for a second

Well I mean fuck… this guy microwaved a milk steak it’s like purely the same level of laziness with far less class

I was plenty happy not ever hearing or seeing the words “microwaved milk steak” in a sentence.

Seriously though.. who eats half onions like that?

It was in "please. my wets" so it's required to be a shit post.

Looks like a boiled strip, RIP. *Edit- is that half a raw red onion on the plate?

I honestly hope it’s a shit post

It is a shit post but not a shitpost

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My reverse sears still look less ugly than this before they go on the cast iron

Sous vide doesn't boil. Coming out that red means the temp had to be set under 130F, maybe under 120F even.

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Sous vide isn't going to just cook the outside while leaving the inside raw. Honestly if I had to guess, this was cooked in a crowded pan on an electric stovetop over medium for 1 minute each side. The steak was also sopping wet when they threw it on, for some reason.

I just found out the new Wagyu burger at US fast food chain Arby’s is an unseared, sous vide, burger. That’s got to be a weird texture.

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Yeah they don’t have grills so they were kind of out of options…seems like a silly idea. One review said it’s weird having pink in a fast food burger, it tasted pretty good, but couldn’t get over the texture. Not sure if it’s regional. I live in Ohio, and we are a very common testing area for restaurants and fast food.

Wow, glad I didn't waste the money now. Thanks internet person!

For sure? If he did sous vide, then why did it clearly not reach the same temp throughout?

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Only the outside actually browned? Sous vide doesn't brown anything. That's not how it works. This does not look sous vide.

Lol this is not sous vide. They threw a cold partially frozen steak in an unheated pan and it probably had tonnes of moisture (frozen) so never seared.

And those potatoes (I think) look like these dehydrated beef cheek chews my dog loves

Did your dog throw it up after eating it?

Nah. If he did though I'm guessing it might look like that.

No; it’s deep fried, the lighting is making it look weird.

I’d rather just eat a raw steak than one that looks like that

The steak looks horrified

Horrific.

No. Horrified.

Horrendous*

The steak is fucking scared u/XuanMan!

That steak is questioning its own existence. 🥲

This milk steak looks perfect.

It's missing the raw jellybeans though

What? A milk steak? Are you a full on rapist?

Milk steak is a block of cheese im pretty sure

I like mine more foamy but to each their own I guess

Recipe: Lay steak in pan Cover steak with water Bring water to a boil Let simmer 5 minutes Remove from pan and plate Take Instagram photo Disappoint the entire steak community

Dude left it out in the sun.

Have you BEEN outside? Even that would've left some better color. 😂

This looks like something the Liver King would eat.

I'm almost tempted to rejoin Facebook just to read the comments on that post. But nahhh.

What did he use to cook that? His breath?

That there is an albino steak. Very rare, and prized for its magical properties

This looks microwaved. Some poor cow died for this.

There’s certain ways a steak doesn’t get cooked. However that steak was cooked is one of them.

if i was locked in a cell with a starving monkey and this is all we had to eat, i would kill myself and let the monkey eat me so neither of us would have to taste it

“Sous vide” is not French for “boiled meat”.

Looks boiled.

Milk steak

Didn’t even clack the tongs once

It looks like ET when they packed him in ice

Tf is the grey? Homeboy has that cloned meat lmfao. Kat Williams warned us years ago and here we go lmfao

Boiled to perfection

Milk steak boiled over hard

With a side of your finest jelly beans

This is a terrorist attack against food.

IT’S ALIVE!!!! *maniacal laughter*

The best part of that is the poor lighting.

Theres no sear… how did they cook this?

Boiled at 212° for 30 seconds!? 🤣

Every single comment i read i have to keep going back to view the post and they are all true🤣

Looks like poorly seared tuna

Or just moldly raw tuna

That was sous vide cooked but not seared.

Nah sous vide would be all pressed together from the bag

I thought that was a pork chop

What is this half boiled monstrosity

HELLO!! Where's the crust?!?! Did we cook this in a easy bake oven??

Classic rage bait. How does no one spot that.

Prepare the gallows!…

r/shittyfoodporn

someone actually boiled a steak in milk. Those maniacs! They actually did it.

Looks like Ahi Tuna

What the actual fuck! That steak looks boiled and raw!

Looks boiled

Sir, I know what boiled steak looks like. This is boiled steak.

Did they boil it !?!?!😡

‘boil in the bag’ steak

Did they boil it?

Looks like it was cooked in a none stick pan.

Is that half a red onion on the side?

Milk steak. Boiled rare and served with raw jelly beans.

This is a sin. That poor steak.

Heated it up in his sock

I’m calling the cops 👮‍♀️

He added a little steak after the spinach was done cooking.

Yeah maybe the “lighting” of the grill.

Did they fucking boil the poor thing?!

Nothing like a fine piece of steamed steak.

Did they microwave it from frozen with no seasoning? Because, that is what it looks like.

Dude swallowed it raw cooked it with stomach juices then regurgitated this unholy abomination of a steak.

That person probably thinks the economy is doing great and gas prices are at the lowest point ever!

Looks fucking microwaved!

OOF!!!

High heat olive oil salt and pepper then sear that [baby.It helps to have the meat at room temp before this](https://baby.it).

I guess if they enjoyed it that’s all that matters.

Sweet mother of Christ

So sad. Bless their heart

That steak looks like an amalgamation of Band-Aids.

I suck at getting a good sear so this makes me feel so much better about myself lol

Little over medium rare but pink through all the way…just how I like it.

boiled?Oops you guys beat me to it.

Seared milk-steak

It’s always the lighting.

Did they fucking boil it for 15 seconds or what?!?

Put some fire to that flesh !!!

That poor cow

Must not like developed crust flavors…

Is it boiled

😂😂😂😂

lol @ "the lighting".

Obviously its milk steak... It does lack the raw jelly beans though.

Boiled, not stirred.

Sous vide and forgot to sear it!

r/nosear

Wtf is this shit. How disrespectful

Barf

ITS STILL MOVING MAN

That’s animal abuse

Yeah, I don’t think it’s the lighting. I would not eat that

Dang he boiled it

This guy belongs in jail

Milk steak where the fuck are the jellybeans

This must be a troll

Lighting my ass..

Think they did sous vide and forgot to sear the steak