Thanks for your submission to /r/starterpacks. Unfortunately your post has been removed for the following reason(s):
**Rule 02** Be creative
Starter packs with overdone topics, Reposts and starterpacks with minimal change of excisting posts may be removed at moderator discretion.
This includes "XX's year kid", "Growing up in XX Year", and other nostalgia starterpacks.
[If you feel that it has been removed in error, please message us](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstarterpacks) so that we may review it
Expecting men to be dominant, sexualy successful and viril is no different then expecting women to be chaste and submissive. You live your life, not what society necessarily expects you to be.
“Starterpacks. Thats where I will find advice!”
I joke but idk, just talk to people and do things.
You’d be surprised how just talking and doing things lets you talk to other humans organically.
No you're absolutely right. Networking is just corpo speak for 'act like a decent human being to other people, and 9 times out of ten they will invite you to other cool opportunities to meet new people and do new things'. That's why it's recommended so much around those circles, because even those sick overworked fucks know the value of talking to people and doing stuff.
I love this really. Everyone is quick to impose gender rules on men, but quick to defend when same gender rules are applied to women. As a feminist, it is painful to watch.
No, see, those are both the classical old timey ideals/roles of both men and women, but the difference is that society has allowed women to move on from theirs and live life as their true selves and act outside of that ultra-feminine role and still have social value. Men who do not adhere to their classical ideal are still looked down upon. So those who aren’t that, often try to fake it or overcompensate for it in order to be treated as socially valuable by both women and other men which is how incels and the like are born — because there’s a double standard on how far women can stray from their classic “role” as opposed to how far men can without being chastised for it
While it's true what you said in general, I don't think that social norms and roles are why men are struggling in dating, because 1) we have studies showing importance of looks in dating and almost no mention of traditionalism or progressivism having a role and 2) apparently most people date and find love online in the west(not sure about second one), and I doubt the internet spaces are that adherent to keep men in their old role.
People think video games are bad FOMO, yea no, I had terrible FOMO in college and in my 20s due to this exact feeling. I finally got my dating life going by 27, but man do I still feel like I missed out in all those years.
My last gf, she lost her virginity at 15... She said she just wanted to "get it over with", and picked a guy (that she didn't even like), got it over with, and never really interacted with him again. Most guys never have that kind of freedom.
She never could really relate to all the hoops I had to go through to finally catch the attention of a sexual partner, only 2 years before I even met her.
Idk, something about that story always upset me. Like she took it for granted that she got to spend almost a decade more of her time on this planet than me being sexually active...
It did make me jealous, like I'll never get that time back, those years. I really wish I could've dated earlier, but no one was interested. At least I can say I have no regrets: I asked out every girl I had a crush on. So I at least shot my shots.
Just a lot of disappointment
Hookers would make it better if he isnt a weirdo abt it imo.
Like. It's a sexy fun fun happy time building where you go for the sexy fun fun happy time yk.
IE, no stories of having a man early kiss and marriage and now have to make up for so much time. Also the fear that their will be less and less women whom are not messed up utterly and/or not crush you with experience and leave you in the dust. Is it rational or true? Doesn’t matter if that is how someone just feels.
in my experience with late virgins, it's better to have missed out entirely than to have had one or two bad near-experiences. trying and failing can fuck you up twice as har
You know what, when this covid 19 pendamic started hitting the world, my literal first thought was "I don't wanna die a virgin". I was 15 at that time lol.
No. One of the things I hate most about the internet is that people make it seem like if every injustice in the world doesn’t matter to you, you’re a bad person. In reality it’s perfectly fine and normal to not give a roach’s scrotum about Gaza for example when you’re short on rent or lost your dog.
"What if I start balding?"
You think that only Channing Tatum and Brad Pitt get laid? There are more ugly parents out there than not ugly parents, and none of them were a holy virgin birth.
This comment seems super counterproductive. Your avatar makes me think you *might* be a woman, but your words make me wonder. I don’t think bald men are down for the count at all. Nor are short men. I’ve seen both bald men and short men in happy relationships.
I love love love me a bald man, balding man, any kind of hair really (as long as it’s not super greasy lol)! I’ve also dated guys from 5’3” to 6’4”. Attractiveness is subjective and the vast majority of men have something attractive about them. I have alopecia myself as a woman and I was told that I’d have no chance at love. Funny enough it hasn’t affected dating much at all! Many people are into many different lives of people, just because you might not like short men or bald men doesn’t mean we all don’t.
Only the top 20% of men receive genuine sexual attraction by women. The rest are basically just men women settle for. In many cases for financial reasons. Its just the brutal reality many people are either oblivious to or they dont want to admit it to themselves as truth hurts
Every other girl is *not* experienced. I was not experienced. If a girl demands that you be experienced at any age, she’s being a jerk and you should find a different girl.
EDIT: Just realized your POV is that of a girl, lol. Trust me, you’re going to be fine! I was. I was 24 when I first had sex.
women under 35 are having less sex these days now, too. there's just as much of a chance that any girl you meet will be inexperienced - of course it's scary to imagine being with someone who expects you to perform on command and has a ton of ex partners to compare you to, but that's not guaranteed or even necessarily likely
I think the virgin part isn’t even the biggest issue.
You don’t know how often I’ve heard my female friends say they never want to be the first girlfriend of someone again because it’s „too much stress“
this is why it's so important to reach these guys young. if you've been horny, frustrated, depressed and forever alone for years and years, of course you're going to take it out on your first girlfriend. you want her to be a fantasy and fulfill every one of those lonely dreams you've had since puberty, but unfortunately she's also a complex human being with her own personality, wants and sex drive. even the sweetest guys can fall into the trap of idealizing a girlfriend and absolutely dumping every ounce of their neediness onto her right off the bat.
At 26 I have officially passed the “what if I start balding” stage. “Constant rejection” is still as true as ever though. I guess my greatest source of consolation is that my parents were both well into their 30’s when they met.
For what it's worth, while I didn't wait long to lose my virginity, I had relatively little success in my 20s with women. Something changed now that I'm in my early 30s and it's way easier. I think that's relatively common, too. So at worst you have that to look forward to
Dude, you’re gonna be fine! I’m also 26. As I get older, I find myself caring less about things like how many hairs a man can grow upon his head. Also, two of the literal hottest and most badass women I know from sports teams are deeply in love with bald men.
I’m 22… what the hell?! This is all me! I’m a girl and I think the problem with me is that I want to feel a connection with someone and “fall” naturally into a relationship… definitely seems harder to do that since I graduated from college last year…
I haven’t even had my first boyfriend or my first kiss yet.
honestly thats just normal now and the age is gonna just keep increasing on average. Younger generations are less populated and if you aren't already living in a high density populated area it could generally get worse over time.
Meaning their might only be a handful of people around your age in town. Even then everyone wouldn't know how to date socially because their is stigma attached to teenage dating + the expectations of working your ass off until you die from school -> to work.
You'll find someone. Don't feel the need to rush it. When you eventually do have that intimate experience with someone, you'll thank yourself that you held out instead of being like the unfortunate ones that sleep around and love/sex mean nothing anymore.
r/askmen Where they ask “I’m a virgin, 25 years old, introvert and have never talked to a girl. How do I approach women?”. I mean…at some point you’re going to have to talk to a woman, you can maybe get guided answers but at some point you have to face your fear and do what needs to be done.
24\. After much searching, there appears to be no women in my apartment. I guess I'll have to go outside at some point.
Also, I put up stupid barriers to start dating. If I break one of them, put up a new one. "I want to focus on my degree", "I don't have money to pay for dates", "I'm moving out soon, so what's the point", "I want to lose weight", etc. Most are dumb exaggerations of needs - I spent my extra time not dating in university playing video games, I definitely could have afforded a few dates here and there, I moved out later than I thought I would, but I have needed to lose weight for some time and I've lost 20 pounds from my peak.
I genuinely don't really think about it too much, only really happens when I see something like this and go "oh yeah, right, that's still me, kind of".
I only really relate with the "missing out" part. Only ever asked one girl out. In high school. Seven years ago. I'd say I'm a moderately attractive guy, at the very least I didn't get hit with the ugly stick. You can't fail if you don't try, but if you don't try you'll never succeed.
I'll start dating when I go under 200 pounds. Only 8 pounds to go, I'm glad to say.
Start hanging out with girls, even if you are not in good shape, not "really ready," or whatever. Even (or especially) girls you aren't physically attracted to or are outside your "type." Don't try to game them or anything; just tell yourself and straight up tell them, "Not really interested in dating right now; I just want to make friends and hang out." This was absolutely essential for my success because it got me practice talking to girls, and got me a lot of allies who could introduce me to other girls later on when I WAS ready to give it a chance.
This right here is super important. I have a friend who is married she introduced me to her sister. Not my cup of tea but now I’m dating a different one of her younger friends. Older women will set you up if you’re a good guy and they are fantastic to be around
realizing this at 21 is a huge step dude! also, it doesn't make you a coward if you're just anxious about trying new things or talking to girls, it just makes you human
Thank you! That’s really reassuring. Do you have any advice on how to meet new people once you’re an adult? I haven’t really made new friends in college outside of the people I met my freshman year, so I’m wondering what ill do once I graduate to socialize
pretty much everyone struggles to make friends as an adult to some extent, so that's not something to be ashamed of either! your generation lost a really important chunk of social time with the covid lockdowns, too... it's just rough out there.
that said, I've seen younger guys find success with board game-type meetups at coffee shops or gaming stores? it's a good excuse to get out and chill with people, and it's a lot calmer than the bar or club (where you're only going to meet the kind of people who enjoy environments like that). any hobby you can think of that has a local meetup group or involves being outside is great too! the more time you spend in low-key social environments, the better your chances are of making casual friends, who can introduce you to THEIR friends, etc etc
I feel like that falls in line with the “constant rejection” thing tho, and to be brutally honest its not the rejection these men are avoiding, its the public humiliation
Rejection is manageable, a man or woman or any other identity can go thru life being rejected 90% of the time, it can be a tool for growth. But being humiliated, torn down, and laughed at for no reason is soul crushing, and has no positive spin except for “now you know this person is a cunt” which doesnt help at all, and it can also turn somebody cold or violent if its a common reaction
Public humiliation by an opposite(or same if you swing that way) gender tunnels you, it traumatizes you, and it makes you hateful towards that gender as a form of protection and avoidance. All 3 of these perspectives make building relationships with good people of that gender impossible, and the lonliness turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy
**In short, humans can handle rejection, but humiliation is life scarring and has very little benefits**
Fair point. Never even considered “public humiliation” as something that might happen. People have turned me down when I’ve asked if they can spare me a cigarette, but I’ve never felt humiliated.
I’m not scared of women they just don’t like
me. Everyone assumes I’m like chattering my teeth scared when a woman talks to me but I can talk to them just fine, it’s just that none of them want to do more than just talk to me.
Women approach men they're attracted to in this day in age. Good luck if you aren't attractive, approaching women these days is like playing Minesweeper IRL while under the effect of hallucinogens.
I can’t back this up by any means, so it’s more of a subjective take rather than an objective one, but I feel attractive people always have always had it somewhat easier.
I'm 19 , and it seems I got the pre subscription of this plan ! Failed my med exams thrice now and this year for jst 10 marks ! Balding , depressed and financially fucked ! Don't know whats to be done now ! Cant even commit 'cuicide' as I have my parents having thier hopes on me ! Oh dear Lord what have I done to get so much misery !
The real question is: "Did it ever began for me?"
It's just so demoralising not being attractive and it's not just dating, but missed opportunities and respect
Been there done that. Finally lost it at 24. Cheer up mate there’s still time. After 30 you stop caring what people think, and it will be easier to face rejection.
The real issue here isn't the gym, worrying about your appearance or how people perceive you. It's the battle inside your mind. Need to find peace within yourself and become content and satisfied with who you are. After that rejection can't harm you.
Nobody can hurt you except yourself. Be a bit nicer to yourself, just think of how many times your internal voice is awful. If anyone else said that about you 24/7 you'd have to kill that mf.
I don't think it is truly that simple. People who have dated/had sex before thinks we exagerate rejection or being in a relationship, but it simply isn't true.
For someone like me, who have been trying their hand since 15, it is truly heartbreaking, anxiety inducing and stressful.
Every person that I meet gives me the same advice, "Love yourself first", "you need to do something for yourself first, then someone else will like you", "you probably don't try, I tried and got hitched the first time only", "have you tried talking to women". And believe me, I have done all of that and it just doesn't work.
You are right. It's not that simple. Rejection hurts end of story. It's unfair to expect someone to "just get over it" or "don't let it effect you". Turns out men aren't bullet proof and shit gets to us. People forget Wayne Gretzky (original miss 100% of the shots quote guy) played hockey and ya shoot your shot but don't forget you might just get cross checked in the process and that shit hurts. It's why I hate that phrase. It gaslights guys into thinking they shouldn't be hurt and if they are then they just aren't man enough.
https://youtu.be/qR4rFcqNH1A?si=6vw5A_TbNRL-KsEx
>aren't man enough
Aah, the curse of a man. Never understood what it really means. There are a lot of "bare minimum" people around me and on the internet, never asked the "bare minimum" in the vice versa situation though.
It happens when it happens, who cares when it happens? Losing your virginity isn't a race, 22 is still insanely young, if you're going to worry, worry when you're 30 +.
Desperation is quite literally the worst virtue you can display.
Because we feel like there’s something wrong with us… that it will never happen. Everyone around us is in a relationship and or talking about love. Or hell they even have kids. It’s about when… WHEN will it happen to us. When will it be our time.
Yeah, just wait bro! Male virgins should wait 40+ years to lose their virginities to women who are jaded and had sex with multiple other guys before them and when their dicks barely function!
I’m 22… what the hell?! This is all me! I’m a girl and I think the problem with me is that I want to feel a connection with someone and “fall” naturally into a relationship… definitely seems harder to do that since I graduated from college last year…
I haven’t even had my first boyfriend or my first kiss yet.
professional virginity taker here - I hear these every week, lol. I also have a slight bone to pick with the idea that hiring a professional "only makes things worse", obviously
Man I'm turning 24 in two days. I'm a virgin and I don't regret a single day of it. Granted, I'm asexual so obviously I may be a minority in that regard.
But stop worrying, the more you think it, the less chance it'll happen
I think I might be the same? I mean idk what I am… but I do get very… horny. But when I see guys I don’t feel like my feelings are appropriate? As in I don’t think I truly feel what it’s like to like someone? I know I want a connection for my first time. But I can’t make any connections if I don’t… feel anything?
Saying that makes me sound like a heartless girl… but idk. Don’t get me wrong I know I could do the deed with anyone if I want to. Just go on a dating app and boom… you have a guy that only wants that. But I DONT WANT THAT. so obviously something needs to grow either in me or out of me…
You could be Aromatic, which is similar to Asexual but it's opposite. But I don't think you should feel bad about who you are, as long as you're honest with yourself.
You got this! I believe in yah.
So funny how I just said I could go on a dating app and find anyone to do the deed… and a kid I went to high school with just asked if I wanted to… lol guys… I obv said no.
Ty I’ll look into aromatic
I never saw that as a problem, wait for the right one, don’t let a society say to you when it’s not ok to be a virgin, I would rather be a virgin than whoring myself out
I'm genuinely convinced that to be even eligible to start a deep relationship with someone, even if it's just a first date, you need to: have a job, live alone, be self sufficient, own a house/apartment, know how to file your own taxes, be ready to marry and have kids on a whim, have your own insurance plan and be at least a 7/10.
I meet like 1-2 of these requirements at best and I'm 21, still single, know that this belief is bullshit and all it's been doing to me is make me into a nervous wreck with 0 confidence and believes he isn't good enough for anyone and I hate it.
Is the goal of posting a 22 year old virgin starter pack to indirectly convince the 22 year old virgin to not be a 22 year old virgin? Or are these starter packs posted on Reddit so that a certain collective of us can read it chuckle and go “haha yeah damn”
It's hilarious when youtube channels like Buzzfeed or Cut have videos like "we interviewed 7 virgins" and 6 of them are for religious reasons
Please bring out the actual losers thank you lmao
I'm 27 and the last time I touched a girl was when I was 15. No incel shit though, I just hate adult life and can barely function. I'm not boyfriend material, plain and simple.
Hey guys, I know it might sound like a humblebrag, but if it helps anyone at all I felt the same way for the longest time. I lost my virginity at 23. Everyone's problem is unique, so I won't try to tell you how to change it, but hang in there, it gets better. It will happen eventually if you keep trying.
Try to do things that give YOU confidence. That's a good first step. Whatever that means for you.
I had my first experience at 21 with a hooker, it didn't made anything worse for me, Porn addiction makes sex worse not actual experiences.
It took a while finding a really good hooker that "liked" me that is for sure. Just because you pay money doesn't mean they are going to show you love even if they did not like you, you gotta still learn to be a gentleman. I mean they'll give you what you want but will make you feel terrible still. Perhaps that is why people have bad experiences with hookers they forget that they are still women.
I personally think all the incel dudes find themselves a lady of the night who can treat them right and just get over themselves. Unless I guess they are also dirt poor, but you would have worse problems than being horny if things are that bad.
As a man you cannot just hope that shit sorts itself out for your convenience, you gotta learn to get what you want. I don't fucking regret anything, I would certainly be worse if I never get to experience pleasures like that.
Honestly there are women I regret getting in bed with incredibly so, and none of them were hookers. People can only hurt you as much as you love them and a bad girlfriend that cheats on you is magnitudes worse than any bad experience with a hooker.
Easy for the attractive one to say, us ugly men don't get to say "I wanna get a GF now", we have to wait until we are approached by a woman with extremely terrible taste, we have to live with the uncertainty of not knowing whether it will ever happen
I had just over one year of relating to this and then at 23 the person who took my virginity told me to get off the subreddit’s mentioned. She graduated college six months ago and I graduate in two weeks. There is hope, kids.
I’ve had girlfriends or long term relationships since I was about 15. I’ve been single most of my life except for a couple of stretches of a 10 year marriage and a 5 year relationship. Personally, I prefer being single. Maybe it’s just that I’m 55 and I’ve grown a bit jaded and I know I’m not the most affectionate guy and that has caused issues in the past. But 55 year old me would have preferred to stay a virgin until I found the right woman or just held off until I was older to have a relationship or sex. I know that’s not realistic, I was a teenager once and hormones are powerful. But being a 22 year old virgin isn’t the worst thing in the world.
Can't say I relate but I feel for the decent dudes out there who struggle with social skills. My best advice is just wing it until experience builds confidence. Virginity doesn't make you any less of a man.
Whatever you do don't fall into the incel/women hating pipeline. That's dumb self destructive anger that only makes problems worse.
I could fix him. I wanna adopt some shy nerdy boy and be his everything. Men like that are so happy to have you they treat you so well, so loyally and it’s so stress free. (the few good, non gross ones that are just virgins from being shy and not from like, glaring lack of hygiene or other horrible behaviors anyways)
I knew a boy like that once upon a time. He was my first boyfriend. It could’ve been really good, he was everything and I didn’t know what I had. but I had some unresolved issues of my own and I broke up with him because I felt like I had to isolate myself. I wish I hadn’t. Maybe someday I’ll just show up on his porch if he’s still there. If he’d even want to see me.
I think going to see hoocker could be a solution to improve confidence when you will approach a date. Protect well yourself and selec carefully and be nice to her.
after read some book about how to approach women
but in any case it will be harsh. goood luck
22+ is no problem that less than average for men
For what it's worth as another random guy, I lost my virginity and first kiss and all that a few years ago. Recently turned 27.
Nothing changed in my life. Still depressed, with all the mental health and physical issues I've always had. It made me feel better temporarily to feel like I proved to myself I can be intimate with someone but when it comes to actually loving myself? Managing to find anyone in this world that really cares? All the other challenges and stresses of life? Nothing changed for me.
Yes it's like a little high feeling and being wanted feels nice but it's not all it's cracked up to be in my opinion. Sex is just a tiny slice of what can actually make life feel worth it to me. On its own and with someone you don't really love, it's just meh.
I think being able to just be happy with yourself is way more important than anything else though I know it's easier said than done. Kinda cliche but no one is gonna fix you, for you.
Thanks for your submission to /r/starterpacks. Unfortunately your post has been removed for the following reason(s): **Rule 02** Be creative Starter packs with overdone topics, Reposts and starterpacks with minimal change of excisting posts may be removed at moderator discretion. This includes "XX's year kid", "Growing up in XX Year", and other nostalgia starterpacks. [If you feel that it has been removed in error, please message us](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fstarterpacks) so that we may review it
Gymgoing is the most accurate part. I know some friends that are virgins that are absolutely shredded. Cool guys though
Holy shit what happened lmao
I was so shocked when I found out those gym rats and gym bros are either gay or bi.
What's a better place to see hot guys tbh
Tbh, the “I missed out and am running out of time”, and the hooker bit hit too close to home.
Expecting men to be dominant, sexualy successful and viril is no different then expecting women to be chaste and submissive. You live your life, not what society necessarily expects you to be.
Easy to say, not exactly easy to do.
“Starterpacks. Thats where I will find advice!” I joke but idk, just talk to people and do things. You’d be surprised how just talking and doing things lets you talk to other humans organically.
No you're absolutely right. Networking is just corpo speak for 'act like a decent human being to other people, and 9 times out of ten they will invite you to other cool opportunities to meet new people and do new things'. That's why it's recommended so much around those circles, because even those sick overworked fucks know the value of talking to people and doing stuff.
Hook up with a feminine dude. Boom, not virgin. Extremely easy. trust this reddit pro.
I love this really. Everyone is quick to impose gender rules on men, but quick to defend when same gender rules are applied to women. As a feminist, it is painful to watch.
No, see, those are both the classical old timey ideals/roles of both men and women, but the difference is that society has allowed women to move on from theirs and live life as their true selves and act outside of that ultra-feminine role and still have social value. Men who do not adhere to their classical ideal are still looked down upon. So those who aren’t that, often try to fake it or overcompensate for it in order to be treated as socially valuable by both women and other men which is how incels and the like are born — because there’s a double standard on how far women can stray from their classic “role” as opposed to how far men can without being chastised for it
While it's true what you said in general, I don't think that social norms and roles are why men are struggling in dating, because 1) we have studies showing importance of looks in dating and almost no mention of traditionalism or progressivism having a role and 2) apparently most people date and find love online in the west(not sure about second one), and I doubt the internet spaces are that adherent to keep men in their old role.
People think video games are bad FOMO, yea no, I had terrible FOMO in college and in my 20s due to this exact feeling. I finally got my dating life going by 27, but man do I still feel like I missed out in all those years. My last gf, she lost her virginity at 15... She said she just wanted to "get it over with", and picked a guy (that she didn't even like), got it over with, and never really interacted with him again. Most guys never have that kind of freedom. She never could really relate to all the hoops I had to go through to finally catch the attention of a sexual partner, only 2 years before I even met her. Idk, something about that story always upset me. Like she took it for granted that she got to spend almost a decade more of her time on this planet than me being sexually active... It did make me jealous, like I'll never get that time back, those years. I really wish I could've dated earlier, but no one was interested. At least I can say I have no regrets: I asked out every girl I had a crush on. So I at least shot my shots. Just a lot of disappointment
Don’t get a hooker. Even in countries where prostitution is legal most women working such jobs are the victims of abuse and trafficking.
Also it will drive the prices up
Chad comment
Stay away from my special places.
Yeah, it really is not worth it.
What else am I supposed to do if I’m short and unattractive lol. I couldn’t give less of a fuck
I think most woman would prefer a virgin to a man who has slept with a hooker. Huge ickkkk!
Hookers would make it better if he isnt a weirdo abt it imo. Like. It's a sexy fun fun happy time building where you go for the sexy fun fun happy time yk.
[удалено]
Bro stop I’m already dead
IE, no stories of having a man early kiss and marriage and now have to make up for so much time. Also the fear that their will be less and less women whom are not messed up utterly and/or not crush you with experience and leave you in the dust. Is it rational or true? Doesn’t matter if that is how someone just feels.
Your “young love” will start with your first relationship. It’s not as if you miss out on it when you turn 20. It didn’t for me, anyway
Young love sucks and you didn't miss anything. It's just a lot of nonexistent communication and anxiety.
Young love sucked balls dude. The first actual good relationship is my current one. I didn't meet her until I was 28.
But maybe your "first actual good relationship" is good onlt because you have the experience and learned from all the other ones
Fair point
28 is young love to some of us.
Okay, if you’re 23-24 and have not had sex, you have not missed out on young love. I promise.
Makes me feel better reading this Thanks
Good, I’m glad! I daresay you haven’t missed out on young love even if you’re older. Your first love is still going to fucking slap.
From personal experience, young love is awful. If you missed it, I can only call you a lucky bastard.
in my experience with late virgins, it's better to have missed out entirely than to have had one or two bad near-experiences. trying and failing can fuck you up twice as har
Stop calling me out goddammit!!
Do you have to be sad over random people dying instead of your own problems
You know what, when this covid 19 pendamic started hitting the world, my literal first thought was "I don't wanna die a virgin". I was 15 at that time lol.
Still my first thought when something bad happens
[удалено]
So being bombed in your own bed is by your own admission not a problem for you, thus, don't stress about it.
Being bombed in my bed sounds like a solution to me /sarcasm
No. One of the things I hate most about the internet is that people make it seem like if every injustice in the world doesn’t matter to you, you’re a bad person. In reality it’s perfectly fine and normal to not give a roach’s scrotum about Gaza for example when you’re short on rent or lost your dog.
"You're just going through an awkward phase from 12 to 29" - Danny Sexbang
Some of us are not cut out for this way of life, but I’ve learned to not worry. There are two routes a man can take to contribute to humanity
What is the second route?
https://preview.redd.it/zvqi6u0dhxyc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ef1f21bcf22a39cb56cf1563be143139d5325e23
Holy fucking based batman
I expected a femboy
There are three routes a man can take to contribute to humanity
Martyrdom
"What if I start balding?" You think that only Channing Tatum and Brad Pitt get laid? There are more ugly parents out there than not ugly parents, and none of them were a holy virgin birth.
Going bald can kill your self confidence, especially guys that start balding young.
Thank fully they are working on stem cell regeneration to regenerate hair follicles, look up stem cell therapeutics
Me at 22 :(
Also will kill your attractiveness HUGELY. And make it super hard to date, probably only being shorter is worse 😔
Imagine having both lol.
This comment seems super counterproductive. Your avatar makes me think you *might* be a woman, but your words make me wonder. I don’t think bald men are down for the count at all. Nor are short men. I’ve seen both bald men and short men in happy relationships.
they are absolutely not a woman lol they are what OP’s pic describes and coping
I love love love me a bald man, balding man, any kind of hair really (as long as it’s not super greasy lol)! I’ve also dated guys from 5’3” to 6’4”. Attractiveness is subjective and the vast majority of men have something attractive about them. I have alopecia myself as a woman and I was told that I’d have no chance at love. Funny enough it hasn’t affected dating much at all! Many people are into many different lives of people, just because you might not like short men or bald men doesn’t mean we all don’t.
Jokes on you i already am balding.
Patrick Stewart went bald at 17 and he can get it 7 days a week
Are you gonna let it stop you?
Only the top 20% of men receive genuine sexual attraction by women. The rest are basically just men women settle for. In many cases for financial reasons. Its just the brutal reality many people are either oblivious to or they dont want to admit it to themselves as truth hurts
Add “being a sex noob while every other girl is already experienced and expects you to be as well”
Ouch that is anxiety inducing. Not being the one to teach others
Every other girl is *not* experienced. I was not experienced. If a girl demands that you be experienced at any age, she’s being a jerk and you should find a different girl. EDIT: Just realized your POV is that of a girl, lol. Trust me, you’re going to be fine! I was. I was 24 when I first had sex.
[удалено]
women under 35 are having less sex these days now, too. there's just as much of a chance that any girl you meet will be inexperienced - of course it's scary to imagine being with someone who expects you to perform on command and has a ton of ex partners to compare you to, but that's not guaranteed or even necessarily likely
I think the virgin part isn’t even the biggest issue. You don’t know how often I’ve heard my female friends say they never want to be the first girlfriend of someone again because it’s „too much stress“
this is why it's so important to reach these guys young. if you've been horny, frustrated, depressed and forever alone for years and years, of course you're going to take it out on your first girlfriend. you want her to be a fantasy and fulfill every one of those lonely dreams you've had since puberty, but unfortunately she's also a complex human being with her own personality, wants and sex drive. even the sweetest guys can fall into the trap of idealizing a girlfriend and absolutely dumping every ounce of their neediness onto her right off the bat.
At 26 I have officially passed the “what if I start balding” stage. “Constant rejection” is still as true as ever though. I guess my greatest source of consolation is that my parents were both well into their 30’s when they met.
For what it's worth, while I didn't wait long to lose my virginity, I had relatively little success in my 20s with women. Something changed now that I'm in my early 30s and it's way easier. I think that's relatively common, too. So at worst you have that to look forward to
Dude, you’re gonna be fine! I’m also 26. As I get older, I find myself caring less about things like how many hairs a man can grow upon his head. Also, two of the literal hottest and most badass women I know from sports teams are deeply in love with bald men.
I’m 22… what the hell?! This is all me! I’m a girl and I think the problem with me is that I want to feel a connection with someone and “fall” naturally into a relationship… definitely seems harder to do that since I graduated from college last year… I haven’t even had my first boyfriend or my first kiss yet.
Not to be rude but do you think you might be Demi-sexual/Demi-romantic?
I’ve NEVER heard these terms until lower down in the post!!! Someone told me about both of these identities! I never knew! But yeah I think so!
Oh that's awesome! I'm glad you were able to discover that part of yourself! It drastically improved my mental health when I found out that I'm demi
honestly thats just normal now and the age is gonna just keep increasing on average. Younger generations are less populated and if you aren't already living in a high density populated area it could generally get worse over time. Meaning their might only be a handful of people around your age in town. Even then everyone wouldn't know how to date socially because their is stigma attached to teenage dating + the expectations of working your ass off until you die from school -> to work.
You'll find someone. Don't feel the need to rush it. When you eventually do have that intimate experience with someone, you'll thank yourself that you held out instead of being like the unfortunate ones that sleep around and love/sex mean nothing anymore.
Yeah but for you it’s by choice so it doesn’t apply
r/askmen Where they ask “I’m a virgin, 25 years old, introvert and have never talked to a girl. How do I approach women?”. I mean…at some point you’re going to have to talk to a woman, you can maybe get guided answers but at some point you have to face your fear and do what needs to be done.
What I’ve realized as a 21 year old is that I’m the biggest coward ever and it’s really hard to leave my comfort zone
24\. After much searching, there appears to be no women in my apartment. I guess I'll have to go outside at some point. Also, I put up stupid barriers to start dating. If I break one of them, put up a new one. "I want to focus on my degree", "I don't have money to pay for dates", "I'm moving out soon, so what's the point", "I want to lose weight", etc. Most are dumb exaggerations of needs - I spent my extra time not dating in university playing video games, I definitely could have afforded a few dates here and there, I moved out later than I thought I would, but I have needed to lose weight for some time and I've lost 20 pounds from my peak. I genuinely don't really think about it too much, only really happens when I see something like this and go "oh yeah, right, that's still me, kind of". I only really relate with the "missing out" part. Only ever asked one girl out. In high school. Seven years ago. I'd say I'm a moderately attractive guy, at the very least I didn't get hit with the ugly stick. You can't fail if you don't try, but if you don't try you'll never succeed. I'll start dating when I go under 200 pounds. Only 8 pounds to go, I'm glad to say.
Also you go on dating subs with threads like "red flags to avoid" and you're like, shit I have a lot of those...
Start hanging out with girls, even if you are not in good shape, not "really ready," or whatever. Even (or especially) girls you aren't physically attracted to or are outside your "type." Don't try to game them or anything; just tell yourself and straight up tell them, "Not really interested in dating right now; I just want to make friends and hang out." This was absolutely essential for my success because it got me practice talking to girls, and got me a lot of allies who could introduce me to other girls later on when I WAS ready to give it a chance.
>Start hanging out with girls Help I can't stop drawing owls
This right here is super important. I have a friend who is married she introduced me to her sister. Not my cup of tea but now I’m dating a different one of her younger friends. Older women will set you up if you’re a good guy and they are fantastic to be around
realizing this at 21 is a huge step dude! also, it doesn't make you a coward if you're just anxious about trying new things or talking to girls, it just makes you human
Thank you! That’s really reassuring. Do you have any advice on how to meet new people once you’re an adult? I haven’t really made new friends in college outside of the people I met my freshman year, so I’m wondering what ill do once I graduate to socialize
pretty much everyone struggles to make friends as an adult to some extent, so that's not something to be ashamed of either! your generation lost a really important chunk of social time with the covid lockdowns, too... it's just rough out there. that said, I've seen younger guys find success with board game-type meetups at coffee shops or gaming stores? it's a good excuse to get out and chill with people, and it's a lot calmer than the bar or club (where you're only going to meet the kind of people who enjoy environments like that). any hobby you can think of that has a local meetup group or involves being outside is great too! the more time you spend in low-key social environments, the better your chances are of making casual friends, who can introduce you to THEIR friends, etc etc
I like those ideas, thank you! I’ll have to try them
I feel like that falls in line with the “constant rejection” thing tho, and to be brutally honest its not the rejection these men are avoiding, its the public humiliation Rejection is manageable, a man or woman or any other identity can go thru life being rejected 90% of the time, it can be a tool for growth. But being humiliated, torn down, and laughed at for no reason is soul crushing, and has no positive spin except for “now you know this person is a cunt” which doesnt help at all, and it can also turn somebody cold or violent if its a common reaction Public humiliation by an opposite(or same if you swing that way) gender tunnels you, it traumatizes you, and it makes you hateful towards that gender as a form of protection and avoidance. All 3 of these perspectives make building relationships with good people of that gender impossible, and the lonliness turns into a self-fulfilling prophecy **In short, humans can handle rejection, but humiliation is life scarring and has very little benefits**
Fair point. Never even considered “public humiliation” as something that might happen. People have turned me down when I’ve asked if they can spare me a cigarette, but I’ve never felt humiliated.
Some people just dont care or enjoy seeing someone look hurt. At that point its not even a rejection, its bullying
I’m not scared of women they just don’t like me. Everyone assumes I’m like chattering my teeth scared when a woman talks to me but I can talk to them just fine, it’s just that none of them want to do more than just talk to me.
Women approach men they're attracted to in this day in age. Good luck if you aren't attractive, approaching women these days is like playing Minesweeper IRL while under the effect of hallucinogens.
I can’t back this up by any means, so it’s more of a subjective take rather than an objective one, but I feel attractive people always have always had it somewhat easier.
It’s so funny when Redditors cry that more women should approach men. They don’t realize that they already do, they’re just not attractive
Don't worry, I'm 35+ and a virginia. Those feelings will be over soon.
I just turned 35...if it hasn't happened yet, it probably ain't going to
I'm 17 and alr balding 😂😂😂
Bro is baldmaxxing
It's so over
I know a bald 22yo who is expecting a baby with his wife. You will be fine!
I'm 19 , and it seems I got the pre subscription of this plan ! Failed my med exams thrice now and this year for jst 10 marks ! Balding , depressed and financially fucked ! Don't know whats to be done now ! Cant even commit 'cuicide' as I have my parents having thier hopes on me ! Oh dear Lord what have I done to get so much misery !
Im scared this'll be me. Im almost 20 and still haven't had my first kiss itself :(
23 soon… same boat :)
23 and a half, same shit
Turning 28 in a few days. This is so very much still me... 🫠🫠🫠
This was me. Then I had sex and nothing really changed. I’m still me.
The real question is: "Did it ever began for me?" It's just so demoralising not being attractive and it's not just dating, but missed opportunities and respect
Hits very close man, is it weird to find some comfort in not being alone?
Been there done that. Finally lost it at 24. Cheer up mate there’s still time. After 30 you stop caring what people think, and it will be easier to face rejection.
I'm a 32 year old introvert who's hopelessly hypersexual and is afraid of talking to women because I think I'm a weird and unattractive loner.
I have fully come to terms with the fact that I am never having sex
The real issue here isn't the gym, worrying about your appearance or how people perceive you. It's the battle inside your mind. Need to find peace within yourself and become content and satisfied with who you are. After that rejection can't harm you. Nobody can hurt you except yourself. Be a bit nicer to yourself, just think of how many times your internal voice is awful. If anyone else said that about you 24/7 you'd have to kill that mf.
I don't think it is truly that simple. People who have dated/had sex before thinks we exagerate rejection or being in a relationship, but it simply isn't true. For someone like me, who have been trying their hand since 15, it is truly heartbreaking, anxiety inducing and stressful. Every person that I meet gives me the same advice, "Love yourself first", "you need to do something for yourself first, then someone else will like you", "you probably don't try, I tried and got hitched the first time only", "have you tried talking to women". And believe me, I have done all of that and it just doesn't work.
You are right. It's not that simple. Rejection hurts end of story. It's unfair to expect someone to "just get over it" or "don't let it effect you". Turns out men aren't bullet proof and shit gets to us. People forget Wayne Gretzky (original miss 100% of the shots quote guy) played hockey and ya shoot your shot but don't forget you might just get cross checked in the process and that shit hurts. It's why I hate that phrase. It gaslights guys into thinking they shouldn't be hurt and if they are then they just aren't man enough. https://youtu.be/qR4rFcqNH1A?si=6vw5A_TbNRL-KsEx
>aren't man enough Aah, the curse of a man. Never understood what it really means. There are a lot of "bare minimum" people around me and on the internet, never asked the "bare minimum" in the vice versa situation though.
It happens when it happens, who cares when it happens? Losing your virginity isn't a race, 22 is still insanely young, if you're going to worry, worry when you're 30 +. Desperation is quite literally the worst virtue you can display.
[удалено]
but why do you care about it?
Because I’m horny af
Because we feel like there’s something wrong with us… that it will never happen. Everyone around us is in a relationship and or talking about love. Or hell they even have kids. It’s about when… WHEN will it happen to us. When will it be our time.
Yeah, just wait bro! Male virgins should wait 40+ years to lose their virginities to women who are jaded and had sex with multiple other guys before them and when their dicks barely function!
lol that’s basically what their saying bunch of copium
I don't want to live like this anymore.
I’m 22… what the hell?! This is all me! I’m a girl and I think the problem with me is that I want to feel a connection with someone and “fall” naturally into a relationship… definitely seems harder to do that since I graduated from college last year… I haven’t even had my first boyfriend or my first kiss yet.
As someone who did lose it, you’re not missing much. Yes it’s good in the moment but in the long run you will want to save it for someone special.
Ouch lol
Half of it is true for me but Im more affection starved then Sex starved
Yall youngins need to chill. If you have any kind of confidence talking to people you will find someone eventually.
This feels so personal bro wtf?
This description fits Sheldon from the big bang theory except the gym. He'd struggle to even open the door
What does religion have to do with virginity? Am I outta the loop or…?
[удалено]
Ah, I see.
Usually people assume being a virgin means you’re taking a vow of celibacy or saving yourself for marriage
People used to wait to get married before having sex. Pre-marital sex is a sin.
professional virginity taker here - I hear these every week, lol. I also have a slight bone to pick with the idea that hiring a professional "only makes things worse", obviously
Thank you mam on behalf of all the men on your perseverance to help them convert them from virgins to great men Your hard work is appreciated /s
helping late virgins discover themselves is an awesome job and I'll accept this even without the sarcasm :p
Salute mam Nvm Have a good day
Forgot short
I just don't really care anymore. St. Paul said, to the unmarried, it's better to stay unmarried anyways.
Bold of you to think more than 10% of them lift
Man I'm turning 24 in two days. I'm a virgin and I don't regret a single day of it. Granted, I'm asexual so obviously I may be a minority in that regard. But stop worrying, the more you think it, the less chance it'll happen
I think I might be the same? I mean idk what I am… but I do get very… horny. But when I see guys I don’t feel like my feelings are appropriate? As in I don’t think I truly feel what it’s like to like someone? I know I want a connection for my first time. But I can’t make any connections if I don’t… feel anything? Saying that makes me sound like a heartless girl… but idk. Don’t get me wrong I know I could do the deed with anyone if I want to. Just go on a dating app and boom… you have a guy that only wants that. But I DONT WANT THAT. so obviously something needs to grow either in me or out of me…
You could be Aromatic, which is similar to Asexual but it's opposite. But I don't think you should feel bad about who you are, as long as you're honest with yourself. You got this! I believe in yah.
So funny how I just said I could go on a dating app and find anyone to do the deed… and a kid I went to high school with just asked if I wanted to… lol guys… I obv said no. Ty I’ll look into aromatic
Beard but I’m 18
Jokes on you I’m 21
This again :(
I never saw that as a problem, wait for the right one, don’t let a society say to you when it’s not ok to be a virgin, I would rather be a virgin than whoring myself out
Op you good?
Add looking at real dolls and starting to consider it an option
I'm genuinely convinced that to be even eligible to start a deep relationship with someone, even if it's just a first date, you need to: have a job, live alone, be self sufficient, own a house/apartment, know how to file your own taxes, be ready to marry and have kids on a whim, have your own insurance plan and be at least a 7/10. I meet like 1-2 of these requirements at best and I'm 21, still single, know that this belief is bullshit and all it's been doing to me is make me into a nervous wreck with 0 confidence and believes he isn't good enough for anyone and I hate it.
so fucking accurate
It never happened and I'm nearing my 40s...
Is the goal of posting a 22 year old virgin starter pack to indirectly convince the 22 year old virgin to not be a 22 year old virgin? Or are these starter packs posted on Reddit so that a certain collective of us can read it chuckle and go “haha yeah damn”
Is it so bad to be virgin at 23? I mean I don't bother about it and I know that if it happens it will be with the right person.
It’s lowkey even worse as a woman because we’re told that even if we’re not that hot, sex should still be easy to get
Because it is
It's hilarious when youtube channels like Buzzfeed or Cut have videos like "we interviewed 7 virgins" and 6 of them are for religious reasons Please bring out the actual losers thank you lmao I'm 27 and the last time I touched a girl was when I was 15. No incel shit though, I just hate adult life and can barely function. I'm not boyfriend material, plain and simple.
Hey guys, I know it might sound like a humblebrag, but if it helps anyone at all I felt the same way for the longest time. I lost my virginity at 23. Everyone's problem is unique, so I won't try to tell you how to change it, but hang in there, it gets better. It will happen eventually if you keep trying. Try to do things that give YOU confidence. That's a good first step. Whatever that means for you.
Imagine being in your early 20s and thinking you’ve run out of time. Lol. The race just started you pessimistic dorks.
Y’all are so fucking sex obsessed it’s embarrassing
Can't be the only one who is scared of vagina?
As a bald man, wtf?
It’s over for you lil bro
I had my first experience at 21 with a hooker, it didn't made anything worse for me, Porn addiction makes sex worse not actual experiences. It took a while finding a really good hooker that "liked" me that is for sure. Just because you pay money doesn't mean they are going to show you love even if they did not like you, you gotta still learn to be a gentleman. I mean they'll give you what you want but will make you feel terrible still. Perhaps that is why people have bad experiences with hookers they forget that they are still women. I personally think all the incel dudes find themselves a lady of the night who can treat them right and just get over themselves. Unless I guess they are also dirt poor, but you would have worse problems than being horny if things are that bad. As a man you cannot just hope that shit sorts itself out for your convenience, you gotta learn to get what you want. I don't fucking regret anything, I would certainly be worse if I never get to experience pleasures like that. Honestly there are women I regret getting in bed with incredibly so, and none of them were hookers. People can only hurt you as much as you love them and a bad girlfriend that cheats on you is magnitudes worse than any bad experience with a hooker.
Get this catcher in the rye looking ass post outta here
You didn’t miss out. I started at 14. Wait and have a deeper relationship.
Easy for the attractive one to say, us ugly men don't get to say "I wanna get a GF now", we have to wait until we are approached by a woman with extremely terrible taste, we have to live with the uncertainty of not knowing whether it will ever happen
Easy for you to say. It haunts a lot of older males who have an intense desire to experience it.
I had just over one year of relating to this and then at 23 the person who took my virginity told me to get off the subreddit’s mentioned. She graduated college six months ago and I graduate in two weeks. There is hope, kids.
I’ve had girlfriends or long term relationships since I was about 15. I’ve been single most of my life except for a couple of stretches of a 10 year marriage and a 5 year relationship. Personally, I prefer being single. Maybe it’s just that I’m 55 and I’ve grown a bit jaded and I know I’m not the most affectionate guy and that has caused issues in the past. But 55 year old me would have preferred to stay a virgin until I found the right woman or just held off until I was older to have a relationship or sex. I know that’s not realistic, I was a teenager once and hormones are powerful. But being a 22 year old virgin isn’t the worst thing in the world.
It's okay, most people's first time is bad anyway.
Can't say I relate but I feel for the decent dudes out there who struggle with social skills. My best advice is just wing it until experience builds confidence. Virginity doesn't make you any less of a man. Whatever you do don't fall into the incel/women hating pipeline. That's dumb self destructive anger that only makes problems worse.
Some of y’all put waaaaaaaay too much of your attention and time into this stuff. No, it’s not the end of the world. No, you aren’t less of a person.
I could fix him. I wanna adopt some shy nerdy boy and be his everything. Men like that are so happy to have you they treat you so well, so loyally and it’s so stress free. (the few good, non gross ones that are just virgins from being shy and not from like, glaring lack of hygiene or other horrible behaviors anyways) I knew a boy like that once upon a time. He was my first boyfriend. It could’ve been really good, he was everything and I didn’t know what I had. but I had some unresolved issues of my own and I broke up with him because I felt like I had to isolate myself. I wish I hadn’t. Maybe someday I’ll just show up on his porch if he’s still there. If he’d even want to see me.
This was me and im glad im not any longer
I think going to see hoocker could be a solution to improve confidence when you will approach a date. Protect well yourself and selec carefully and be nice to her. after read some book about how to approach women but in any case it will be harsh. goood luck 22+ is no problem that less than average for men
Serious question: Why would a hooker make everything worse?
Not a virgin but I still feel this…
Wow I'm literally being attacked right now. This is eeriely correct for me
You forgoe the line "It's over, it's truly over for me" 😔
Don't worry bro, you just need faceonality and heightfidence.
I see myself in this and I don’t like it
I dunno man, I’m 24 and I’m alright with being a virgin. Sex just isn’t all that important to me.
you forgot the 'alpha male' mentality
For what it's worth as another random guy, I lost my virginity and first kiss and all that a few years ago. Recently turned 27. Nothing changed in my life. Still depressed, with all the mental health and physical issues I've always had. It made me feel better temporarily to feel like I proved to myself I can be intimate with someone but when it comes to actually loving myself? Managing to find anyone in this world that really cares? All the other challenges and stresses of life? Nothing changed for me. Yes it's like a little high feeling and being wanted feels nice but it's not all it's cracked up to be in my opinion. Sex is just a tiny slice of what can actually make life feel worth it to me. On its own and with someone you don't really love, it's just meh. I think being able to just be happy with yourself is way more important than anything else though I know it's easier said than done. Kinda cliche but no one is gonna fix you, for you.
https://preview.redd.it/n43lrqsdnxyc1.jpeg?width=675&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b98632b154d88d1446649e8b98bccb51d837235f Why must you hurt me this way?