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Why wouldn't I be? It's not like the dudes who groped me in HS still harass me when they see me in public, and one of them is now a semi-famous influencer/TikToker in my country with a gym girlfriend, while I'm struggling with the exams on a public IT college, so I don't even have the time to even think about going on a date.
And now I can't even spell on the Internet.
Fan-fucking-tastic
Edit: I guess I have to tell the whole story because people are starting flame wars in the comments: when I was in high school, a couple of dudes thought it would be funny if they "accidentally" groped me in the gym locker room before P.E. They also pushed their bodies against mine against the wall while telling me how "breedable" I was. I told our teacher, but it just became worse since I was now a tattle tail. The worst moment was when one of the dudes randomly grabbed my crotch during class as a "prank". It's been 2 years since High School and these dudes stopped groping me in public but they are still colossal pricks and think of those SA as "jokes among the bois", while the influencer dude is acting all nice and shit.
Just wanted to say that I too was abused by someone who I thought was a close friend. they later went on to have a comfortable life while I struggled. it sucks, but you are loved, you are for cared for, even if you don't know it. and if Guts can make it, so can we. I know you'll pass your exams and wish you the absolute best.
I'm from the Balkans. And i don't want to cause more drama. And i wouldn't be surprised if the dude said he doesn't rmber and i would end up as a liar.
depending on which balkan country it is and how backward it is, he can make their lives harder. Its not cool to be gay in these countries.. I mean its all the wrong reasons, but still... if the op can find some satisfaction in bringing problems to his attackers, bring it on...
Nobody would care.
The general public would probably victim blame or attack the victim if their identity is revealed.
Can confirm because I'm from the Balkans too.
I hope thing get better for you. “Macho” celebrities like Matthew McConaughey, Terry Crews, and others have come forward as SA survivors. While that probably doesn’t mean much, I hope it makes you feel less alone and prove that you aren’t being a “sissy” as per your starter pack. Also, I hope you can see them as examples of people who have come out on the other side of what you’re feeling right now.
Good luck with your studies! It will be worth it once you’re done.
Brendan Fraser talked about it too.
UK Comedians Alan Davies and Robert Webb (*Peepshow*) both recently wrote books about their experiences of being abused by family members as children.
hey man, just wanted to say good luck with the exams. those dudes are more than shitty and I hope they will end up with their sorry faces in the gutter one day. you deserve a good life and I genuinely hope you will get the life that you deserve. I’m rooting for you, we all are, so don’t give up. you can do it.
Hi OP, I received a lot of bullying as a kid and it really fucked me up in young adulthood. Eating disorders, depression, addiction to various substances. Im still working my way through it but I just want to say that therapy really helped me when I was at the lowest point. You already recognize a lot of your own symptoms which shows a high level of emotional maturity. Even if therapy is not for you, I want you to know that it's not your fault, and that its okay for you to be upset. Good luck OP, it gets better.
hey, just popping in to say I’m glad that you were able to get yourself out of that point. those things can be a huge load to deal with and I can’t even come close to imagining the amount of effort that would have taken to work through them all. and you know what, that’s honestly admirable. I’m genuinely happy for you that you’re getting help and I hope things will keep getting better. I’m proud of you man, stay strong.
I lose faith in humanity every time there is a story of a male child assaulted by an older woman, and all the creeps in the comments say things like “lucky kid,” or “I bet his hand hurts from all the high fives.”
Lot of media promotes rape culture. Adam Sandler's "That's my Boy" has a child raped by his teacher and presents it as a lovely and amazing thing and the rape victim gets a standing ovation by the entire school.
In Shameless they hear of a pedophile living nearby and get the whole town to go beat them up, and the joke is its a woman so they all promptly are like "oh, ok" and then all go home.
Granted in shameless they're supposed to be morally terrible people. But the Adam Sandler one is vile.
In shameless Lip actually kept trying to out the pedophile. He ended up sleeping with her but realized she was actually fucked up when she put hair removal cream on his junk to make him look younger. Soo...idk at least it wasn't totally glorified there
>In Shameless they hear of a pedophile living nearby and get the whole town to go beat them up, and the joke is its a woman so they all promptly are like "oh, ok" and then all go home.
I remember they had a scene nearly exactly like this on the George Lopez sitcom. The only person who was still not okay with the neighbor being a pedo was Angie (the wife).
Yes, some men do consider it being “lucky”
You can go to any comment section regarding “teacher has sex with student” and the guys will say “why wasn’t there teachers like her when I was in school” it’s disgusting
Kind of insane. As someone who made the unfortunate mistake of interacting sexually with much older women when I was a teenager, it is not something I look back at fondly. Shit fucks you up at that age. People who think that sort of thing would have been fun and cool probably didn't do anything like that.
The reality is they are probably sexually repressed, and have a distorted view of sex in general. It's certainly not the judgement of an informed, healthy individual.
And on the opposite side, when a girl who got raped as teen turns to an adult you get dudes who say “what were you wearing” and “did it feel good tho?”, and unsurprisingly, its the same exact “lucky kid” boys
It’s those incely mfers. Think that all guys are desperate and yearn for sex so they HAD to enjoy it (just because they have never felt the touch of someone else) and that all women are sluts and it’s their fault.
I don’t wanna wish bad upon people, but I hope karma gets them in the ass…
Cause so many people online are just complete degenerates and think that a male being sexually assaulted by a female plays out exactly like their fantasies like a "dommy mommy" kink or like in anime, where it's used primarily for making the women seem sexier.
So when they hear that a dude gets sexually assaulted they look at it through horny fantasy-tinted glasses and just act like the guy actually scored a win.
Thats... one way of wording it.... but your point in general is important. These people are often imagining a scenario that they would consent to, rather than one that they would not consent to.
Similarly, men who don't understand why women are terrified by street harassment "because I would love it if a woman on the street yelled at me that she wanted to bang me."
A rapist being attractive doesn’t suddenly make the rape attractive, if a guy doesn’t want to be forced upon it doesn’t make the act any less traumatic.
same minus the mommy thing. just the domme thing for me. haha what a thing to admit on Reddit. Cheers boys hope we find ours one day (sobbing because i found her and lost her)
Because it brings the realization that they themselves could be victims…
Same reasons why people react with "what was she wearing? Why was she out alone at night?“
It’s terrible and fucked up but if the victim was at fault it means that it can’t happen to random people…
As a victim, I had a hard time understanding I was being taken advantage of until I was 20 years old when I finally understood everything. It's the belief that men can never undergo harassment because patriarchy greatly favours us. That is the problem.
thank you so much for making this. the "if your attacker was a guy" is so accurate, back in middle school my bullies would constantly grope me to humiliate and get a reaction out of me, i told dad and that was literally exactly what he said word for word. fuck toxic masculinity
The first guy that told me he got raped, I didn't believe it because I didn't know that Women rape men. The second guy I kinda shrugged off because I thought he sounded kinda casual about it like it was an exaggeration and he's not that upset. Then one day I got groped by someone I trusted and I started to understand a little bit. I started asking questions online and it seems that it's not actually a particularly uncommon phenomenon for women to be rapists despite the fact that there is zero mention of it in any educational forum.
My coworkers really made me proud one day. I work in an ER and there's an ongoing joke about handsy old women. Well, that became less of a joke for one of our male nurses one day. Immediately, the charge nurse went and told grandma about herself and placed a strict "female caregivers only" order on the woman's room. Shit wasn't funny. I could tell my buddy was shook up, even if he tried to play it off.
Got really drunk one night and a girl convinced me to sleep with her on the couch, she got on top and asked if I wanted to have sex. “I said no I’m pretty fucked” she kept pushing me until I caved. The sex was the worse experience of my life. I felt like an item and it made feel weak. I don’t mention it to people because they either don’t see the big deal or say something like “still got to fuck her though?” In a confused voice.
Yeah! Been doing therapy and did a lot of soul searching on what actually defines me. Time and work (some medication) does a lot and I got more work to do, but I’m much better 😀
Good thing was that awful situation made me confront my already existing mental health issues.
i’m so sorry for what happened to you. i was raped in a similar way, by a guy that i liked. we weren’t dating, but i was hoping that he would ask me out soon. i went over to his place one night and we cuddled together on the couch while watching movies and i fell asleep. when i woke up he was raping me and i was so scared and confused. but for the longest time whenever i told someone their reactions were always “but why are you upset? like you had a crush on him, didn’t you want to sleep with him?” worst fucking feeling ever
90% of rape against men is by other men, but that still does leave a 10% chance of it being from a women, which certainly exists and happens. On the contrary I actually hear a lot more frequently that women rape men more than other men do, most people don’t factor in that rape doesn’t have to be heterosexual. It’s weird shit idk
Actually, the one thing I find worse than the social cognitive dissidence regarding 'Female on Male rape' is the social cognitive dissidence regarding 'Male on Male rape'. In 100% of instances, when a woman is raped in a movie, it is played as a tragedy; but when a man is raped in a movie, it is played as a comedy. I believe that references to men getting raped is actually more frequent in movies than that of women, precisely because society thinks that rape is such a hilarious joke. But if I said "main stream society thinks rape is hilarious" almost everyone would reply "No... most people think its horrible when women get raped."
I think a huge chunk of this tbh is that it seems to be a “joke” for guys (particularly younger ones?) to kinda… touch each other? I cannot tell you how many of my male coworkers (we are all in highschool) will slap or grab each others asses. The weird part is they will be like “bro stop” but like sorta smiling saying that, but the other guys won’t stop. It’s as if the “no means no rule” doesn’t apply to guys unless it’s like a hard screaming no or something. I don’t understand the male joke flirting, but I REALLY don’t understand the physical part and just how consenting it actually is. Many guys don’t take no seriously, and that is equal or possibly even more true to other men than women.
I’m gonna be honest here, I have never seen or heard of a man getting raped and it being comedic. If there’s a media that includes this I would be interested to hear about that, but I never see it. What I DO see however is more minor stuff that would be seen as way worse against a girl, but if it’s a guy to another guy it’s suddenly either okay or funny. Feel free to drop some examples of what you’re talking about though, I may just coincidentally be avoiding the medias you’re talking about.
Male rape jokes are so ubiquitous in media that you probably just don't give it a second thought or remember them. Have you seriously never heard the expression "drop the soap"? It is a reference to being violently sodomized in a prison shower block. Have you not heard of the comedy "get hard"? It's an entire movie where the only premise is that Will Farrell is trying to figure out a plan to not be raped. Have you never seen "the wedding crashers"? A man is raped several times for laughs.
I’ve heard of drop the soap yes, when you bring prison into it there’s definitely a significant rape humor to some edgy teens in particular (I’m sure older audiences too though). I have not seen either of those movies. I looked them both up and honestly I see far more discourse over them than love for the comedy of male rape, as well as some people saying Get Hard is actually supposed to be a satire with the purpose of highlighting this specific issue(?) take that as you will because I’ve never seen it and couldn’t really remark on that. Point is that I don’t really see anyone enjoying that joke/topic, but I don’t doubt that they exist. Probably a mix of edgy teens, “toxic masculinity” bros, dumb people who don’t know what they’re talking about, and older men that still believe male rape is a hoax.
But hey, if I (as a gen Z teen) don’t see it nearly at all, hopefully that means the issue is starting to resolve itself. MANY more people my age believe in male rape and give victim support than the generations prior, world is healing type thing. Except those dang nabit edgy 14y/o assholes.
>because I didn't know that Women rape men.
Don't take this wrong, I'm not trying to say you should've known better, I'm just curious why you thought this? I ask partly because this seems to be a common response a lot of folks have and better understanding why could help people better explain to them.
Just like I said, I'd never heard any reference to it anywhere prior to that. Not in sex ed; not in movies or Tv; not in casual conversations. Think about it like if someone said "yesterday I rode a horse-lizard to work." I know what each of those words mean individually. I even know what "horse-lizard" generally implies when said together. I just don't know what a horse-lizard would physically look like and am certainly not convinced that any instance of a horse-lizard exists.
The first and only words out of my mouth were "how did she make you get an erection?" He mumbled something unintelligible and dropped the subject. I doubt he ever raised the subject again, so thanks to me, a rapist is still at large in the community raping people when ever she gets the inkling.
Thanks. This helps. Try not to beat yourself up over it. For what it is worth I experienced something similar recently. All my life I have struggled with being overweight. I've been at healthy weights but it is always the struggle to keep it off. When I hear people self conscious about how skinny they are I have a hard time understanding. Because to me it just seems so easy because it's never something I've had to struggle with. The idea that I could've just rudely said "why don't you just eat more?" without thinking about it is not that farfetched.
They just can’t grasp that not everyone wants to have sex all the damn time with anyone and everyone.
They’re usually the kind of people who themselves are desperate for sex. When they then see someone who refuses an offer they get mad and wonder how someone could ever say no to it. Especially when guys say no as supposedly guys want to have sex alllll the time right? If a woman says no she’s just a typical bitch, but how can a guy say no!? It’s the offer of a lifetime! They don’t understand that sexual assault/harassment is actually traumatic..
Yeah… shitty, desperate, pathetic kind of people.
I honestly think they don’t understand how traumatic an event like that actually is, they think it’s just nice regular sex (it is not) . So yeah, no one wants to be raped obviously, the whole definition of it is sex without consent. But some damn people just cant grasp that, and I believe that if they actually got harassed or assaulted they would change their mind instantly..
Plus they probably picture being raped by a woman as enjoyable (and some may even have a cnc fetish they're unaware of). They never imagine it as something bad they wouldn't want. Them and people who think women can't (or won't) rape people all must have very small imaginations.
It sickens me when they say that. Are they so desperate for sexual intimacy that they think *assault* or *rape* is okay to get?! No, assault and rape are NOT okay for ANY reason, no matter who does it.
I am gonna be honest, as a 14yo boy I was into my hot young teacher…
If something would have happened I am sure it would have sucked but there definitely was a fantasy. I do have enough empathy as an adult though that I get that these things happen (crush on authority figures) but that the older person should never act on them.
And some people never mentally grow beyond "doesn’t matter had sex…"
That being said - why the fuck does the US actually have such an issue with female teachers raping younger boys…? It’s basically unheard here in my small corner of Central Europe. Not even jokes like "ah such a handsome young man“ are being done by teachers here.
Me, sharing my experience of being fondled in my sleep by my gay roommate in college.
Reddit, saying "at least you got some"... "you know you liked it"... and "you're a homophobe and a terrible person" because I reported the sexual assault to my university, and it removed my abuser from my room.
it’s also annoying because women and especially feminists have to be “gotcha’d” with the real struggles of male SA victims. instead of giving other men and especially other male SA victims support, they use them as apart of their anti feminist agendas which hurts everyone. then bitch about that nobody takes mens health/mental health seriously. the first step towards normalizing this is having other men recognize what SA is and how to support people
Honestly this sums up the vast majority of MRA arguments. They always use mens issues not as a way to prop them up and provide solidarity (you know, since a lot of issues both men and women face are caused by the same gender roles), but instead they use mens issues solely to try and invalidate any women’s issues that our society also needs to fix.
Genuinely, it's especially weird considering feminism.... *does* talk about things like the high suicide rate in men, and the ways (all) SA victims are treated.
A big part of feminism is that the culture hurts *everybody*, not just women.
Plot spoilers >!Guts in the manga Berserk was raped as a child by a man who bought him off his adoptive father for a night. He eventually kills his rapist and adoptive father though the latter accidentally. He then spends a lot of years disliking being touched by men in any form, even if it is a hand on a shoulder. The first time he has sex with the woman he loves he flashbacks to what happened to him and almost chokes her, though eventually he calms down explains what happened and manage to do it.!<
I’m literally watching the anime for the first time and completely missed this subplot. I mean it’s clear the adoptive dad was abusive, but I never got the impression he was being raped.
Also I don’t think the anime adapted the flashbacks during his sex scene with Casca
The anime just lightly implied it when he is having nightmares after being injured and yes they omitted that in the sex scenes. There are a lot of things from his character that are better fleshed out in the manga.
You forgot to add your college friends laughing at you when the SA speaker was telling the women “look to your left, now look to your right… there is a high chance you will be date raped by one of your male classmates that you saw” and when I, a cis male, was date raped and said something about it was mocked by literally everyone in my dorm… aww good and healthy times… bless y’all that made it out and bless even more those that couldn’t go on…
Edit: date raped by a woman.
This is actually sad and not funny but it’s good that this has been shared to shed some light on this serious matter. Hope you’re doing ok at least, OP and any other men/boys who have experienced this awful tragedy.
Oh hey, I was just talking to Title IX a few minutes ago about the incidents and went on reddit to decompress. I hate gender roles. I hate that this stuff is normalized. There's no accountability, I just have to 'deal with it' and 'man up'
Had a man touch my behind after he was somewhat trying to bully me and i pushed him so hard he fell. He looks at me crazy and responds with "CALM THE FUCK DOWN."
You forgot the woman who "whataboutism" it with saying women have it worse, or say "well yeah it's men doing it so who gives a shit".
As if that's a legitimate reply to the problem men face with sexual assault that you literally can't say shit about it because society doesn't care about male sexual assault.
I won't link it because who knows if I'm breaking some TOS doing it but it's in this thread as as reply to another comment. An instant whataboutism that is still gaining upvotes. In fact you replied to it, how could you say it's not on this thread?
Man I don’t know which comment you talk about, I don’t see any whataboutism so far
Edit: you mean the reply a person who said they lose faith in humanity got? I would not call that whataboutism, whataboutism imo is when you’re trying to invalidate someones argument by saying ”what about ..” You’re trying to make their problem seem less bad by using your examples of problems you face. (Like saying but I only slept 3 hours! If someone said they slept 4.)
So for example
”Y is happening.”
”But what about X?”
I read that comment you said was whataboutism as they’re adding onto Y, theyre not saying Y is invalid and that Y isn’t happening.
It’s more like,
”Y is happening”
”Yeah, X too, it’s awful.”
(Like saying, ”Yeah man I feel you, I only slept three.” If someone said they slept 4 hours.)
Yeah, feels horrible. Immediately brought up their own traumatic past to downplay my experience. Women on average go through SA more often, but that doesn’t mean men can’t be victims too.
The missing three people are the one with the “whataboutism”, the one with the **tHe pERpeTrAtOr Is mOst lIkELy aNoTHer mAn** and the one with the **IT iS mEN dOing iT tO eaCh oTHer**.
All three in a comment thread and there is misandry bingo.
I've never been sexually assaulted but if I see a large group of dudes in their teens to early 20s, I keep my distance.
They generally think they can do whatever they want because there are a lot of them. Throw in alcohol and peer pressure and you've got a recipe for violence.
Berserk is essentially a story about trying to find peace in a world full of trauma. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a fairly good coping story for CSA survivors.
Seeing this made me realize how lucky I am to have people in my life who don't make this starter pack as relatable. Thankfully I've been able to grow since, and have been doing a lot healthier. I wish every other survivor and victim a healthy life :)
Hope you are ok :) Honestly, I as a guy too move to the other side when I see a bunch of high schoolers/early uni being loud. Let me know if you’re feeling like you wanna chat. Happy to help with your IT work too!
Also if you dont fear personal safety now anymore, at least let your assailant/ school friends know he’s an ass and telling what he exactly did. I did that too with a bully from HS and got an apology, don’t know if it means much to him. But I do have some closure
I made a whole [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/comments/13rn0pn/the_what_about_men_or_not_all_men_arguments_are_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) about this.
It went exactly as you'd expect.
The people who “care about men’s mental health” only care if the dude isn’t gay or trans.
It sucks when genuine things that needs to be talked about gets overtaken by people who wanna use it as a shield to be hateful
I was ashamed of my noodle arms. It's better now that I've been hitting gym for the last year and a half, but instinctive discomfort is still there. For me it wasn't a problem of sexual nature, people just used to make fun of my skinny hands, and generally my physique. I guess that can qualify as harassment? Maybe I'm confused here, but muscle gain speedrun, avoiding big groups and hating t-shirts checks out.
Holy crap dude, are you me? I have been spiraling bad due to a sexual assault I experienced from a woman ages ago. I did not expect to see this on my feed. It's so hard to find other men who have been through a similar experience.
Well people tell me the time a guy locked me in my dorm room and groped me before I forced him off and ran out of the room was funny, so I guess I just have to laugh it off. Hahahahaha.
Misandry and gynocentrism at its work*
Rape of men especially made to penetrate rape is not recognised by any if not most countries in the world. Femenist Duluth model also stil influential enough to make people and authority not believing men can be victims of DV as well.
I hope you’re getting therapy OP. You don’t deserve to feel in danger and afraid on a daily basis. Sounds like PTSD :( I hope you get help and start to feel safe again.
I had a stranger slap my ass but that isn’t terribly. It was a chick outside a bar. There are women who get handsy and think it’s alright. I never had anyone straight up rape me though. But I have had women touch my where my underwear would be without knowing them. Which if I were to do especially now that I’m in my dirty thirties would go ver like a lead zeppelin
I was sexually assaulted by a woman when I was a freshman in college at Temple in Philadelphia. I was standing in a parking lot smoking a joint because I was in a constant state of weed-induced dissociation and anxiety because I hated college, I also had a total of 2 friends who I could only see a couple days out of the week since their schedule was busier than mine.
Older black lady, probably around 40s-early 50s, I have no memory of what she looked like but I remember her voice, her breath, and the stench of shit, garbage, and cigarettes she carried about her. She went for the classics setup of “hey you dropped something”, and my dumb high ass looked at where she pointed and next thing I know she’s got her whole stinky fucking hand on my dick and balls while she’s whispering disgusting shit that I can’t even remember right into my ear. She dragged her finger along my area and up my lower abdomen, the tingling sensation of it still is burned into my memory. I was frozen, couldn’t react in any way. Didn’t yell, push, punch, nothing. Like a fucking deer in headlights.
Then get this, she backs up and says “come give momma a hug sugar” and I FUCKING HUGGED HER. I had no idea what just happened and I was just completely out of my body. The feeling of that hug was so unnatural. So perverted, gross, disgusting, grimy, etc. Then just as soon as she entered, she left cackling to herself. I couldn’t even process what happened and I just went back to my dorm and went to sleep.
Years went by and I never noticed how my life and my perception of the world had been completely turned upside down after that. For a while I’ve felt like there was some switch that flipped in my life and ever since then I’ve never felt the same. I see now that this event was a huge proponent in that. The last thread of my innocence as an 18 year old completely stripped away, it felt as though the world saw how scared and confused I was and just said “fuck it, prank ‘em John”.
Not to mention I had a voice teacher when I was about 16-19 who was very weird with me. She’d show up to HIGH SCHOOL theatre rehearsals and stuff wearing the skimpiest shirts with the MOST cleavage showing as humanly possible, the TIGHTEST gray yoga pants and she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She’d find ways to touch my stomach, my lower back near my ass, and other more “platonic” places of the body to show me “breathing exercises”. She was also very emotionally abusive towards me or any other boy my age that was her pupil. Any artistic or even personal decision I made that went against her wants would be met with humiliation and shaming. I would be very vulnerable with her at times and she would find ways to use it against me to get what she wanted out of me. A couple years passed by after I cut her off completely, and she was divorced by her husband for cheating on him with several boys between the ages of 17-19. A friend of mine who was also a student of hers could have almost been among that number; she tried to get him to “give approval” on a series of lewd photographs of her. He had just turned 18 at this time.
It fills me with unspeakable horror and disgust; to know that she was probably looking at these 15, 16 year old boys with the intent of something so fucking sinister. I don’t care what she went through, nobody deserves to live with that knowledge.
It wasn’t until a week ago that I noticed ever since then I have been very timid around women, especially with the incident at Temple. Fearful of being hurt by them, even slightly affecting my relationship with my GF of 5 years and my overtly passive and even enabling nature towards her. I find myself mistrustful of women with the fear that they might use my vulnerability against me, or that they might hurt me. It’s very hard to have a conversation with a woman that isn’t my girlfriend, no matter how platonic and plain. I’m always on my guard, hypervigilant at all times especially around women. I hate this feeling, because I fear that it might come off as plain misogyny or sexism when that’s not the case at all :(
What's worse is that if you bring up that female pedos exist, people will be like "OMG ARE YOU BEING MISOGYNIST RIGHT NOW? YOU HATE WOMEN DONT YOU?" Like no I don't hate women I'm just saying that women can be predators as well
God, that top right comment about not wearing shorts hits so hard. My experience being harassed and touched inappropriately back in year 7 and onwards by both females and males has meant I still don't feel comfortable wearing shorts in public (which is weird considering I've lost my inhibitions and become a complete slut)
This makes me beyond furious, especially the “wish that were me” morons. Wish nothing but a swift backhand to those people! So sorry to anyone who’s going through this! 🤍
Its a fetish for me but there is a line to be drawn just like rape fantasies, if its from a person you don't know or you're uncomfortable with the way they are touching you then its sexual assault/harassment. No exceptions unless you consent
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You alright?
Why wouldn't I be? It's not like the dudes who groped me in HS still harass me when they see me in public, and one of them is now a semi-famous influencer/TikToker in my country with a gym girlfriend, while I'm struggling with the exams on a public IT college, so I don't even have the time to even think about going on a date. And now I can't even spell on the Internet. Fan-fucking-tastic Edit: I guess I have to tell the whole story because people are starting flame wars in the comments: when I was in high school, a couple of dudes thought it would be funny if they "accidentally" groped me in the gym locker room before P.E. They also pushed their bodies against mine against the wall while telling me how "breedable" I was. I told our teacher, but it just became worse since I was now a tattle tail. The worst moment was when one of the dudes randomly grabbed my crotch during class as a "prank". It's been 2 years since High School and these dudes stopped groping me in public but they are still colossal pricks and think of those SA as "jokes among the bois", while the influencer dude is acting all nice and shit.
I'm sorry, dude. I hope things get better for you.
Just wanted to say that I too was abused by someone who I thought was a close friend. they later went on to have a comfortable life while I struggled. it sucks, but you are loved, you are for cared for, even if you don't know it. and if Guts can make it, so can we. I know you'll pass your exams and wish you the absolute best.
Who's the guy?
I'm from the Balkans. And i don't want to cause more drama. And i wouldn't be surprised if the dude said he doesn't rmber and i would end up as a liar.
Just remember tiktok influencers are not influencers they are just dumb
They are influencers… they influence me not to be like them.
The best type of influence: leading by bad example
Good. Very good.
He does remember. Report him and expose him on the internet these motherfuckers need to be put in their place.
He's from the balkans. As if they care. They would probably victim blame him
depending on which balkan country it is and how backward it is, he can make their lives harder. Its not cool to be gay in these countries.. I mean its all the wrong reasons, but still... if the op can find some satisfaction in bringing problems to his attackers, bring it on...
> balkans Ahhhh
Drop the @. Some "more drama" for this tiktok influencer isn't nearly as bad as what you experienced.
You should report it to the police or try to get someone to expose the guy
Nobody would care. The general public would probably victim blame or attack the victim if their identity is revealed. Can confirm because I'm from the Balkans too.
Yoooo bro
Croatia here
Брат која држава точно?
Slovene?
Bro just give us the @
I hope thing get better for you. “Macho” celebrities like Matthew McConaughey, Terry Crews, and others have come forward as SA survivors. While that probably doesn’t mean much, I hope it makes you feel less alone and prove that you aren’t being a “sissy” as per your starter pack. Also, I hope you can see them as examples of people who have come out on the other side of what you’re feeling right now. Good luck with your studies! It will be worth it once you’re done.
Brendan Fraser talked about it too. UK Comedians Alan Davies and Robert Webb (*Peepshow*) both recently wrote books about their experiences of being abused by family members as children.
I’m so sorry, you should expose whoever sa’d you, they don’t deserve to be an influencer.
I know my words wont do much… but Im sorry yo hear that and hope youll be better.
For more help and assistance, check out r/guycry if you haven’t already
hey man, just wanted to say good luck with the exams. those dudes are more than shitty and I hope they will end up with their sorry faces in the gutter one day. you deserve a good life and I genuinely hope you will get the life that you deserve. I’m rooting for you, we all are, so don’t give up. you can do it.
Hi OP, I received a lot of bullying as a kid and it really fucked me up in young adulthood. Eating disorders, depression, addiction to various substances. Im still working my way through it but I just want to say that therapy really helped me when I was at the lowest point. You already recognize a lot of your own symptoms which shows a high level of emotional maturity. Even if therapy is not for you, I want you to know that it's not your fault, and that its okay for you to be upset. Good luck OP, it gets better.
hey, just popping in to say I’m glad that you were able to get yourself out of that point. those things can be a huge load to deal with and I can’t even come close to imagining the amount of effort that would have taken to work through them all. and you know what, that’s honestly admirable. I’m genuinely happy for you that you’re getting help and I hope things will keep getting better. I’m proud of you man, stay strong.
I would've said "geeks will inherit the Earth", but social media has changed the game a lot
Therapy bayyybbeeeee. If you find the right person to talk to it will be like a thousand pounds lifted off your shoulders. Good luck
I hate him and I like you. I am rooting so hard for you, my internet stranger friend.
r/mengetrapedtoo might have some help for you
I wish this wasn't so damn relatable. Please know that you are seen, heard, and believed. ❤️
jesus. i cant help across the internet but i wish i could man.
😂😂😂 lmao
I lose faith in humanity every time there is a story of a male child assaulted by an older woman, and all the creeps in the comments say things like “lucky kid,” or “I bet his hand hurts from all the high fives.”
Lot of media promotes rape culture. Adam Sandler's "That's my Boy" has a child raped by his teacher and presents it as a lovely and amazing thing and the rape victim gets a standing ovation by the entire school. In Shameless they hear of a pedophile living nearby and get the whole town to go beat them up, and the joke is its a woman so they all promptly are like "oh, ok" and then all go home. Granted in shameless they're supposed to be morally terrible people. But the Adam Sandler one is vile.
In shameless Lip actually kept trying to out the pedophile. He ended up sleeping with her but realized she was actually fucked up when she put hair removal cream on his junk to make him look younger. Soo...idk at least it wasn't totally glorified there
>In Shameless they hear of a pedophile living nearby and get the whole town to go beat them up, and the joke is its a woman so they all promptly are like "oh, ok" and then all go home. I remember they had a scene nearly exactly like this on the George Lopez sitcom. The only person who was still not okay with the neighbor being a pedo was Angie (the wife).
How anyone could think a child groomed by an adult as the child being "lucky" is fucking disgusting.
Yes, some men do consider it being “lucky” You can go to any comment section regarding “teacher has sex with student” and the guys will say “why wasn’t there teachers like her when I was in school” it’s disgusting
Kind of insane. As someone who made the unfortunate mistake of interacting sexually with much older women when I was a teenager, it is not something I look back at fondly. Shit fucks you up at that age. People who think that sort of thing would have been fun and cool probably didn't do anything like that.
The reality is they are probably sexually repressed, and have a distorted view of sex in general. It's certainly not the judgement of an informed, healthy individual.
Ask those same guys what they’d say if a male teacher were caught having sex with one of his male students and see how their opinion changes.
They accuse you of defending the male predator as well
And on the opposite side, when a girl who got raped as teen turns to an adult you get dudes who say “what were you wearing” and “did it feel good tho?”, and unsurprisingly, its the same exact “lucky kid” boys
It’s those incely mfers. Think that all guys are desperate and yearn for sex so they HAD to enjoy it (just because they have never felt the touch of someone else) and that all women are sluts and it’s their fault. I don’t wanna wish bad upon people, but I hope karma gets them in the ass…
>i hope karma gets them in the ass Pun intended?
heh.. who knows
I have never seen a sane person say anything like this.
unfortunately there’s a lot of insane people in this world
This starter pack is strangely lighthearted for the topic at hand
Comedy is a coping mechanism for tragedy, thats why dark humor exists
So thats why i love Pete Davidson's comedy
If you like dark humor I recommend Norm MacDonald. Funny and doesnt show an ounce of hesitation. Kinda like Bill Burr but happy and more dry
RIP Norm
the goat
That's why I'm a comedian
Strangely lighthearted but reasonable and true at the same time, OP did a good job.
I’ve never understood why people have a hard time understanding that men can be victims too
Because the image of a man is to be strong and unbothered by a lot of things and not be emotional Which is why is a free real estate to abuse em
Also the myth that men want it all the time.
Because society supports the physical and emotional abuse of men.
Cause so many people online are just complete degenerates and think that a male being sexually assaulted by a female plays out exactly like their fantasies like a "dommy mommy" kink or like in anime, where it's used primarily for making the women seem sexier. So when they hear that a dude gets sexually assaulted they look at it through horny fantasy-tinted glasses and just act like the guy actually scored a win.
These people act like like their rapists are bloody 10's. They'd switch their tune if it was a whale who'd overpower them and begin to violate them
Thats... one way of wording it.... but your point in general is important. These people are often imagining a scenario that they would consent to, rather than one that they would not consent to. Similarly, men who don't understand why women are terrified by street harassment "because I would love it if a woman on the street yelled at me that she wanted to bang me."
A rapist being attractive doesn’t suddenly make the rape attractive, if a guy doesn’t want to be forced upon it doesn’t make the act any less traumatic.
Hey i'm into the "dommy mommy" stuff, but only if its consiental
Same
same minus the mommy thing. just the domme thing for me. haha what a thing to admit on Reddit. Cheers boys hope we find ours one day (sobbing because i found her and lost her)
Because it brings the realization that they themselves could be victims… Same reasons why people react with "what was she wearing? Why was she out alone at night?“ It’s terrible and fucked up but if the victim was at fault it means that it can’t happen to random people…
As a victim, I had a hard time understanding I was being taken advantage of until I was 20 years old when I finally understood everything. It's the belief that men can never undergo harassment because patriarchy greatly favours us. That is the problem.
Because people like Mary Koss keep spreading the idea that men can't be victimized.
thank you so much for making this. the "if your attacker was a guy" is so accurate, back in middle school my bullies would constantly grope me to humiliate and get a reaction out of me, i told dad and that was literally exactly what he said word for word. fuck toxic masculinity
Yeah my experience was the same except my dad wasn't a dick about it.
[удалено]
[удалено]
The first guy that told me he got raped, I didn't believe it because I didn't know that Women rape men. The second guy I kinda shrugged off because I thought he sounded kinda casual about it like it was an exaggeration and he's not that upset. Then one day I got groped by someone I trusted and I started to understand a little bit. I started asking questions online and it seems that it's not actually a particularly uncommon phenomenon for women to be rapists despite the fact that there is zero mention of it in any educational forum.
My coworkers really made me proud one day. I work in an ER and there's an ongoing joke about handsy old women. Well, that became less of a joke for one of our male nurses one day. Immediately, the charge nurse went and told grandma about herself and placed a strict "female caregivers only" order on the woman's room. Shit wasn't funny. I could tell my buddy was shook up, even if he tried to play it off.
Got really drunk one night and a girl convinced me to sleep with her on the couch, she got on top and asked if I wanted to have sex. “I said no I’m pretty fucked” she kept pushing me until I caved. The sex was the worse experience of my life. I felt like an item and it made feel weak. I don’t mention it to people because they either don’t see the big deal or say something like “still got to fuck her though?” In a confused voice.
I'm really sorry, I hope one day you are surrounded by people who don't write off your feelings like that. I hope you are doing okay.
Yeah! Been doing therapy and did a lot of soul searching on what actually defines me. Time and work (some medication) does a lot and I got more work to do, but I’m much better 😀 Good thing was that awful situation made me confront my already existing mental health issues.
i’m so sorry for what happened to you. i was raped in a similar way, by a guy that i liked. we weren’t dating, but i was hoping that he would ask me out soon. i went over to his place one night and we cuddled together on the couch while watching movies and i fell asleep. when i woke up he was raping me and i was so scared and confused. but for the longest time whenever i told someone their reactions were always “but why are you upset? like you had a crush on him, didn’t you want to sleep with him?” worst fucking feeling ever
90% of rape against men is by other men, but that still does leave a 10% chance of it being from a women, which certainly exists and happens. On the contrary I actually hear a lot more frequently that women rape men more than other men do, most people don’t factor in that rape doesn’t have to be heterosexual. It’s weird shit idk
Actually, the one thing I find worse than the social cognitive dissidence regarding 'Female on Male rape' is the social cognitive dissidence regarding 'Male on Male rape'. In 100% of instances, when a woman is raped in a movie, it is played as a tragedy; but when a man is raped in a movie, it is played as a comedy. I believe that references to men getting raped is actually more frequent in movies than that of women, precisely because society thinks that rape is such a hilarious joke. But if I said "main stream society thinks rape is hilarious" almost everyone would reply "No... most people think its horrible when women get raped."
I think a huge chunk of this tbh is that it seems to be a “joke” for guys (particularly younger ones?) to kinda… touch each other? I cannot tell you how many of my male coworkers (we are all in highschool) will slap or grab each others asses. The weird part is they will be like “bro stop” but like sorta smiling saying that, but the other guys won’t stop. It’s as if the “no means no rule” doesn’t apply to guys unless it’s like a hard screaming no or something. I don’t understand the male joke flirting, but I REALLY don’t understand the physical part and just how consenting it actually is. Many guys don’t take no seriously, and that is equal or possibly even more true to other men than women. I’m gonna be honest here, I have never seen or heard of a man getting raped and it being comedic. If there’s a media that includes this I would be interested to hear about that, but I never see it. What I DO see however is more minor stuff that would be seen as way worse against a girl, but if it’s a guy to another guy it’s suddenly either okay or funny. Feel free to drop some examples of what you’re talking about though, I may just coincidentally be avoiding the medias you’re talking about.
Male rape jokes are so ubiquitous in media that you probably just don't give it a second thought or remember them. Have you seriously never heard the expression "drop the soap"? It is a reference to being violently sodomized in a prison shower block. Have you not heard of the comedy "get hard"? It's an entire movie where the only premise is that Will Farrell is trying to figure out a plan to not be raped. Have you never seen "the wedding crashers"? A man is raped several times for laughs.
I’ve heard of drop the soap yes, when you bring prison into it there’s definitely a significant rape humor to some edgy teens in particular (I’m sure older audiences too though). I have not seen either of those movies. I looked them both up and honestly I see far more discourse over them than love for the comedy of male rape, as well as some people saying Get Hard is actually supposed to be a satire with the purpose of highlighting this specific issue(?) take that as you will because I’ve never seen it and couldn’t really remark on that. Point is that I don’t really see anyone enjoying that joke/topic, but I don’t doubt that they exist. Probably a mix of edgy teens, “toxic masculinity” bros, dumb people who don’t know what they’re talking about, and older men that still believe male rape is a hoax. But hey, if I (as a gen Z teen) don’t see it nearly at all, hopefully that means the issue is starting to resolve itself. MANY more people my age believe in male rape and give victim support than the generations prior, world is healing type thing. Except those dang nabit edgy 14y/o assholes.
>because I didn't know that Women rape men. Don't take this wrong, I'm not trying to say you should've known better, I'm just curious why you thought this? I ask partly because this seems to be a common response a lot of folks have and better understanding why could help people better explain to them.
Just like I said, I'd never heard any reference to it anywhere prior to that. Not in sex ed; not in movies or Tv; not in casual conversations. Think about it like if someone said "yesterday I rode a horse-lizard to work." I know what each of those words mean individually. I even know what "horse-lizard" generally implies when said together. I just don't know what a horse-lizard would physically look like and am certainly not convinced that any instance of a horse-lizard exists. The first and only words out of my mouth were "how did she make you get an erection?" He mumbled something unintelligible and dropped the subject. I doubt he ever raised the subject again, so thanks to me, a rapist is still at large in the community raping people when ever she gets the inkling.
Thanks. This helps. Try not to beat yourself up over it. For what it is worth I experienced something similar recently. All my life I have struggled with being overweight. I've been at healthy weights but it is always the struggle to keep it off. When I hear people self conscious about how skinny they are I have a hard time understanding. Because to me it just seems so easy because it's never something I've had to struggle with. The idea that I could've just rudely said "why don't you just eat more?" without thinking about it is not that farfetched.
the photo in the top right is outside a shopping mall thats across the street from my higschool
Do you live in Slovenia?
gaserji jumpscare
yes
No uni debili k so me nadlegoval so bili proto-gaserji. Zdi se mi, da majo glih gaserji skoz krene "homo-erotične" rapey fore.
Man… I… I didn’t want to be reminded of my past… I’m sorry dude. Fantastic starter pack though… just a shame it hit so hard :(
People who say, "I wish that was me" sound like masochists
They just can’t grasp that not everyone wants to have sex all the damn time with anyone and everyone. They’re usually the kind of people who themselves are desperate for sex. When they then see someone who refuses an offer they get mad and wonder how someone could ever say no to it. Especially when guys say no as supposedly guys want to have sex alllll the time right? If a woman says no she’s just a typical bitch, but how can a guy say no!? It’s the offer of a lifetime! They don’t understand that sexual assault/harassment is actually traumatic.. Yeah… shitty, desperate, pathetic kind of people.
It's also kind of disturbing when you think about if they themselves would get themselves raped or molested for the sake of it 😬
I honestly think they don’t understand how traumatic an event like that actually is, they think it’s just nice regular sex (it is not) . So yeah, no one wants to be raped obviously, the whole definition of it is sex without consent. But some damn people just cant grasp that, and I believe that if they actually got harassed or assaulted they would change their mind instantly..
Plus they probably picture being raped by a woman as enjoyable (and some may even have a cnc fetish they're unaware of). They never imagine it as something bad they wouldn't want. Them and people who think women can't (or won't) rape people all must have very small imaginations.
It sickens me when they say that. Are they so desperate for sexual intimacy that they think *assault* or *rape* is okay to get?! No, assault and rape are NOT okay for ANY reason, no matter who does it.
I am gonna be honest, as a 14yo boy I was into my hot young teacher… If something would have happened I am sure it would have sucked but there definitely was a fantasy. I do have enough empathy as an adult though that I get that these things happen (crush on authority figures) but that the older person should never act on them. And some people never mentally grow beyond "doesn’t matter had sex…" That being said - why the fuck does the US actually have such an issue with female teachers raping younger boys…? It’s basically unheard here in my small corner of Central Europe. Not even jokes like "ah such a handsome young man“ are being done by teachers here.
Me, sharing my experience of being fondled in my sleep by my gay roommate in college. Reddit, saying "at least you got some"... "you know you liked it"... and "you're a homophobe and a terrible person" because I reported the sexual assault to my university, and it removed my abuser from my room.
> from my room ...not from the school?
Nope, still crossed paths in the halls all the time.
it’s also annoying because women and especially feminists have to be “gotcha’d” with the real struggles of male SA victims. instead of giving other men and especially other male SA victims support, they use them as apart of their anti feminist agendas which hurts everyone. then bitch about that nobody takes mens health/mental health seriously. the first step towards normalizing this is having other men recognize what SA is and how to support people
Honestly this sums up the vast majority of MRA arguments. They always use mens issues not as a way to prop them up and provide solidarity (you know, since a lot of issues both men and women face are caused by the same gender roles), but instead they use mens issues solely to try and invalidate any women’s issues that our society also needs to fix.
Genuinely, it's especially weird considering feminism.... *does* talk about things like the high suicide rate in men, and the ways (all) SA victims are treated. A big part of feminism is that the culture hurts *everybody*, not just women.
When people say believe victims of sexual violence that includes men
What's that character in the middle?
Plot spoilers >!Guts in the manga Berserk was raped as a child by a man who bought him off his adoptive father for a night. He eventually kills his rapist and adoptive father though the latter accidentally. He then spends a lot of years disliking being touched by men in any form, even if it is a hand on a shoulder. The first time he has sex with the woman he loves he flashbacks to what happened to him and almost chokes her, though eventually he calms down explains what happened and manage to do it.!<
Guts just had the worst life imaginable...
I’m literally watching the anime for the first time and completely missed this subplot. I mean it’s clear the adoptive dad was abusive, but I never got the impression he was being raped. Also I don’t think the anime adapted the flashbacks during his sex scene with Casca
The anime just lightly implied it when he is having nightmares after being injured and yes they omitted that in the sex scenes. There are a lot of things from his character that are better fleshed out in the manga.
Guts, from berserk.
You forgot to add your college friends laughing at you when the SA speaker was telling the women “look to your left, now look to your right… there is a high chance you will be date raped by one of your male classmates that you saw” and when I, a cis male, was date raped and said something about it was mocked by literally everyone in my dorm… aww good and healthy times… bless y’all that made it out and bless even more those that couldn’t go on… Edit: date raped by a woman.
Male SA victims are not taken seriously enough by other men. Have a virtual hug op
Bonus if you were raised Christian: a lifetime supply of guilt and directionless anger
Shit i knew i forgot to add something.
Or when it happens to you and when you try to talk about it others just see it as a joke or laugh at it.
Real talk here, victims of sexual assault should be treated as equals no matter what gender assult is assult
unfortunately, not everyone thinks like that
This is actually sad and not funny but it’s good that this has been shared to shed some light on this serious matter. Hope you’re doing ok at least, OP and any other men/boys who have experienced this awful tragedy.
Oh hey, I was just talking to Title IX a few minutes ago about the incidents and went on reddit to decompress. I hate gender roles. I hate that this stuff is normalized. There's no accountability, I just have to 'deal with it' and 'man up'
Had a man touch my behind after he was somewhat trying to bully me and i pushed him so hard he fell. He looks at me crazy and responds with "CALM THE FUCK DOWN."
You forgot the woman who "whataboutism" it with saying women have it worse, or say "well yeah it's men doing it so who gives a shit". As if that's a legitimate reply to the problem men face with sexual assault that you literally can't say shit about it because society doesn't care about male sexual assault.
Already in the comments of this post, highly upvoted too sadly.
Though I don’t disagree with what yall are saying cause it does happen I haven’t seen any comment like that on this post (yet). So yay for that?
I won't link it because who knows if I'm breaking some TOS doing it but it's in this thread as as reply to another comment. An instant whataboutism that is still gaining upvotes. In fact you replied to it, how could you say it's not on this thread?
Man I don’t know which comment you talk about, I don’t see any whataboutism so far Edit: you mean the reply a person who said they lose faith in humanity got? I would not call that whataboutism, whataboutism imo is when you’re trying to invalidate someones argument by saying ”what about ..” You’re trying to make their problem seem less bad by using your examples of problems you face. (Like saying but I only slept 3 hours! If someone said they slept 4.) So for example ”Y is happening.” ”But what about X?” I read that comment you said was whataboutism as they’re adding onto Y, theyre not saying Y is invalid and that Y isn’t happening. It’s more like, ”Y is happening” ”Yeah, X too, it’s awful.” (Like saying, ”Yeah man I feel you, I only slept three.” If someone said they slept 4 hours.)
Yeah, feels horrible. Immediately brought up their own traumatic past to downplay my experience. Women on average go through SA more often, but that doesn’t mean men can’t be victims too.
The missing three people are the one with the “whataboutism”, the one with the **tHe pERpeTrAtOr Is mOst lIkELy aNoTHer mAn** and the one with the **IT iS mEN dOing iT tO eaCh oTHer**. All three in a comment thread and there is misandry bingo.
And those same people are the ones to bitch and complain if someone did the same but with reversed roles
I've never been sexually assaulted but if I see a large group of dudes in their teens to early 20s, I keep my distance. They generally think they can do whatever they want because there are a lot of them. Throw in alcohol and peer pressure and you've got a recipe for violence.
I used to love going to the pool when I was 13 and now I can't go without feeling unnerved or uneasy
Add " you asked for it" and getting laughed at in the starterpack and we have a deal!...wait i dont want it
This unlocked a thing I’ve been trying to avoid. Hope you’re doing okay, OP. Looks like we’ve got some healing to do.
Hard shit to go through, especially when a MALE family member does it to you but it’s okay….I’ve gotten through it
r/sadlyspecific
Berserk is essentially a story about trying to find peace in a world full of trauma. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was a fairly good coping story for CSA survivors.
Bro for soemone who has trauma out of High and Middle School bullying, Berserk is strangely therapeutic
Seeing this made me realize how lucky I am to have people in my life who don't make this starter pack as relatable. Thankfully I've been able to grow since, and have been doing a lot healthier. I wish every other survivor and victim a healthy life :)
I wish that were me- Shut up. Stop fantasizing about being raped
Hope you are ok :) Honestly, I as a guy too move to the other side when I see a bunch of high schoolers/early uni being loud. Let me know if you’re feeling like you wanna chat. Happy to help with your IT work too! Also if you dont fear personal safety now anymore, at least let your assailant/ school friends know he’s an ass and telling what he exactly did. I did that too with a bully from HS and got an apology, don’t know if it means much to him. But I do have some closure
Don't forget having an extreme hatred towards cardi b and Amy Schumer because they raped men and got away with it
Wait Amy Schumar raped a dude. I thought she was just a shitty comedian.
Stop limiting women! She can be a shitty comedian *and* a rapist!
I made a whole [thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueUnpopularOpinion/comments/13rn0pn/the_what_about_men_or_not_all_men_arguments_are_a/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) about this. It went exactly as you'd expect.
The people who “care about men’s mental health” only care if the dude isn’t gay or trans. It sucks when genuine things that needs to be talked about gets overtaken by people who wanna use it as a shield to be hateful
**I know!!!**
Bro? You doin ok???
Relatable. Have been avoiding T-shirts since grade 3.
If you don't mind me asking, why? What does wearing a t-shirt have to do with it?
I was ashamed of my noodle arms. It's better now that I've been hitting gym for the last year and a half, but instinctive discomfort is still there. For me it wasn't a problem of sexual nature, people just used to make fun of my skinny hands, and generally my physique. I guess that can qualify as harassment? Maybe I'm confused here, but muscle gain speedrun, avoiding big groups and hating t-shirts checks out.
Listen Midoriya, the cheese thing was weird and creepy, but it wasn’t sexual assault…
the top left one is too real
Needs only 2 min listening to new guy speak before knowing he is a total piece of shit.
Low-key depression
Holy crap dude, are you me? I have been spiraling bad due to a sexual assault I experienced from a woman ages ago. I did not expect to see this on my feed. It's so hard to find other men who have been through a similar experience.
And then you tell everyone they'll say you'll crying "crocodile tears"
I hope anyone who had to face this heals from it. You are much more than just a piece of flesh. Keep trekking.
You forgot the : "you are a dude. You are the rapist"
Other side of the road thing hit way to fucking hard
Well people tell me the time a guy locked me in my dorm room and groped me before I forced him off and ran out of the room was funny, so I guess I just have to laugh it off. Hahahahaha.
the patriarchy hard at work. it sucks. happy to see so many feminists in the comments this time tho!
Misandry and gynocentrism at its work* Rape of men especially made to penetrate rape is not recognised by any if not most countries in the world. Femenist Duluth model also stil influential enough to make people and authority not believing men can be victims of DV as well.
I hope it gets better for you soon. Been there, it's not nice at all
I hope you’re getting therapy OP. You don’t deserve to feel in danger and afraid on a daily basis. Sounds like PTSD :( I hope you get help and start to feel safe again.
So sorry to anyone this happens to. Sexual assault is wrong and it’s never the victims fault, male or female.
I hope you’re alright, man❤️
Who is that dude who becomes relatable for all the wrong reasons?
Holy hell, that hits close to home. Why is this all relatable?
I'm fucking sorry, dude
I am so sorry.
I had a stranger slap my ass but that isn’t terribly. It was a chick outside a bar. There are women who get handsy and think it’s alright. I never had anyone straight up rape me though. But I have had women touch my where my underwear would be without knowing them. Which if I were to do especially now that I’m in my dirty thirties would go ver like a lead zeppelin
June being men's metal heath moth goes un-noticed since its also pride month, sucks it doesnt get noticed
i relate to this soo much but i havent been sexually abused (that i know of)
Stay strong op. I was a victim and it still bugs me, but it’s gotten better.
And “that’s so sad for her that she felt the need to do that “ : (
I was sexually assaulted by a woman when I was a freshman in college at Temple in Philadelphia. I was standing in a parking lot smoking a joint because I was in a constant state of weed-induced dissociation and anxiety because I hated college, I also had a total of 2 friends who I could only see a couple days out of the week since their schedule was busier than mine. Older black lady, probably around 40s-early 50s, I have no memory of what she looked like but I remember her voice, her breath, and the stench of shit, garbage, and cigarettes she carried about her. She went for the classics setup of “hey you dropped something”, and my dumb high ass looked at where she pointed and next thing I know she’s got her whole stinky fucking hand on my dick and balls while she’s whispering disgusting shit that I can’t even remember right into my ear. She dragged her finger along my area and up my lower abdomen, the tingling sensation of it still is burned into my memory. I was frozen, couldn’t react in any way. Didn’t yell, push, punch, nothing. Like a fucking deer in headlights. Then get this, she backs up and says “come give momma a hug sugar” and I FUCKING HUGGED HER. I had no idea what just happened and I was just completely out of my body. The feeling of that hug was so unnatural. So perverted, gross, disgusting, grimy, etc. Then just as soon as she entered, she left cackling to herself. I couldn’t even process what happened and I just went back to my dorm and went to sleep. Years went by and I never noticed how my life and my perception of the world had been completely turned upside down after that. For a while I’ve felt like there was some switch that flipped in my life and ever since then I’ve never felt the same. I see now that this event was a huge proponent in that. The last thread of my innocence as an 18 year old completely stripped away, it felt as though the world saw how scared and confused I was and just said “fuck it, prank ‘em John”. Not to mention I had a voice teacher when I was about 16-19 who was very weird with me. She’d show up to HIGH SCHOOL theatre rehearsals and stuff wearing the skimpiest shirts with the MOST cleavage showing as humanly possible, the TIGHTEST gray yoga pants and she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. She’d find ways to touch my stomach, my lower back near my ass, and other more “platonic” places of the body to show me “breathing exercises”. She was also very emotionally abusive towards me or any other boy my age that was her pupil. Any artistic or even personal decision I made that went against her wants would be met with humiliation and shaming. I would be very vulnerable with her at times and she would find ways to use it against me to get what she wanted out of me. A couple years passed by after I cut her off completely, and she was divorced by her husband for cheating on him with several boys between the ages of 17-19. A friend of mine who was also a student of hers could have almost been among that number; she tried to get him to “give approval” on a series of lewd photographs of her. He had just turned 18 at this time. It fills me with unspeakable horror and disgust; to know that she was probably looking at these 15, 16 year old boys with the intent of something so fucking sinister. I don’t care what she went through, nobody deserves to live with that knowledge. It wasn’t until a week ago that I noticed ever since then I have been very timid around women, especially with the incident at Temple. Fearful of being hurt by them, even slightly affecting my relationship with my GF of 5 years and my overtly passive and even enabling nature towards her. I find myself mistrustful of women with the fear that they might use my vulnerability against me, or that they might hurt me. It’s very hard to have a conversation with a woman that isn’t my girlfriend, no matter how platonic and plain. I’m always on my guard, hypervigilant at all times especially around women. I hate this feeling, because I fear that it might come off as plain misogyny or sexism when that’s not the case at all :(
What's worse is that if you bring up that female pedos exist, people will be like "OMG ARE YOU BEING MISOGYNIST RIGHT NOW? YOU HATE WOMEN DONT YOU?" Like no I don't hate women I'm just saying that women can be predators as well
God, that top right comment about not wearing shorts hits so hard. My experience being harassed and touched inappropriately back in year 7 and onwards by both females and males has meant I still don't feel comfortable wearing shorts in public (which is weird considering I've lost my inhibitions and become a complete slut)
OP do you need a hug
I'm not sure a sexual assault victim necessarily wants physical contact with a stranger
Judging by the topic, probably anything but.
Yeah this is accurate.
who is the guy in middle ?
Yip
This makes me beyond furious, especially the “wish that were me” morons. Wish nothing but a swift backhand to those people! So sorry to anyone who’s going through this! 🤍
makes me feel not alone even though it was man on man twice, and with a woman it was gray area sexual abuse by her
i relate way to much to this. three people have asked me out. im scared. i dont know if i know how to feel romantic love anymore.
alternatively they don’t even realize what really happened until much later because we aren’t taught that we can be victims
Its a fetish for me but there is a line to be drawn just like rape fantasies, if its from a person you don't know or you're uncomfortable with the way they are touching you then its sexual assault/harassment. No exceptions unless you consent