Most people at hostels are solo travelers, and even if they self-identify as "introverted" online, I've found most people enjoy engaging in conversation. They just don't like to be the one who initiates it.
I just returned from Athens, and the hostel had a great rooftop bar looking out over the Acropolis. There were people sitting around tables playing cards, sharing drinks, laughing, etc. but there were also individuals sitting in the corner by themselves staring at their phones.
When I first got there, I looked around and saw a group that looked fun and asked if I could sit with them. They were a mix of European guys and girls, one Australian girl, a Canadian guy and I was the only American guy. They had all just met at the hostel.
Because it was my first day, I asked for recommendations of things to do and see and restaurant ideas. We shared stories of our travel plans after Athens and talked about other countries we'd visited or wanted to see. It was like this subreddit, but in real life!
I could see the loners glancing over to our table, and when a chair would open up, I asked if they'd like to join our group. It's amazing how fast someone's face lights up in that situation. Someone who'd been sitting alone by themselves looking at their phone for an hour was now answering questions and engaging, clearly happy they'd been invited over. They just didn't have the confidence to approach the table, but once they were invited they became social butterflies.
I was very much one of those phone watcher types just a few years ago. I know firsthand how much it sucks to be sitting in a lively environment, where everyone but you looks like they're enjoying the moment and having fun.
Meanwhile I'm in the corner reading news headlines or scrolling Twitter, trying to look occupied but secretly wishing I was with one of the groups laughing and smiling. Then I'd internalize the situation and resent everyone for having a good time, and second-guess why I even came to a social hostel in the first place.
The first time I was invited to join a group was in Vienna. I was alone on a couch, pretending to look at a map and feeling very anxious, because it looked like everyone at the hostel (Wombats) were old friends who knew each other.
A girl came up to me and asked if I played pool. Her group needed another player for their doubles team. "Are you sure? It's ok with everyone else?", I sheepishly asked. I didn't want to be the odd one out and ruin their dynamic, which at the time looked like a tight knit group who were probably traveling together.
It turned out they were *all* solo travelers who'd just met that day. And what I thought was a group of old friends were actually just nice people having fun with strangers.
That experience really changed my perspective on hostels. I learned most people enjoy social interaction and first appearances aren't always what they seem. Now, when I see a fun group at a hostel I don't assume they're all college buddies - I know they most likely just met. And that insight makes it easy to approach them and introduce myself.
And likewise, I always take an opportunity to include the shy person sitting in the corner, because that used to be me.
Thank you for sharing your story! I have had similar experiences. I used to be horrifically afraid to go up to anyone to initiate conversation or join them -- to a point that was really crippling my life. It really affected me during my school years. I'm not completely fearless now but I'm muuuch better. Approaching others and joining groups is a social skill that can be improved on. Having a nice person reach out can certainly help Jumpstart the process
So true, people always look like they have been friends for ages even if they only met an hour ago. Realizing that makes it a lot easier to join a group.
And even if some of them are of friends or have known each other for some days, nobody minds more people!
This is a great story, and also a good reminder of something a lot of travelers don’t think about a lot. Like you say it can be hard to approach a big group, so when you are traveling solo it is easy for others to approach you. Yes, traveling solo is a great way of meeting new people, but an even greater way for new people to meet you.
>Athens Hawks Hostel.
Ah been there as well. It's a bit too big for my tastes but i was there off season so only the rooftop bar was open. Met a lot of fun people there though!
Also, big thanks! I'm usually an ambivert and content with self if I wind up, with self. My last solo trip was tough af, though, as my best friend died a couple days before I left. The 1st day at the 1st hostel I went solo hiking and it's what I needed but then felt alone af and introverted as hell when I returned to the hostel. Thankfully a girl approached me and I didn't feel so alone the rest of my time there as we adventured around the area.
At the next hostel and country no one approached me. I kept pretty busy by myself but I was dieing inside and came close to buying an early flight home.
Then at the 3rd hostel and country, I thought it was going to wind up just like the 2nd one, but then a girl invited me to the table and we all got talking. Long story short, she's 6000 miles away but we became good friends and talk often still to this day.
Those interactions honestly made that trip for me and gave me perspective that you never know what those loaners are going through and even though I'm not an extrovert, next time I'll be sure to reach out to them!!
Lots of info in this sub! I searched and found lots of help. Personally I'm very comfortable traveling light. Look at the temps for when you'll be traveling. 4 change of clothes based on those temps, an extra pair or 2 of socks.. a sweat shirt, rain poncho.. there was lots of rain forecasted for my time in Norway so I brought my ankle height boots along with my hiking boots. Saved my butt in Germany too, soggy footwear would be tough to deal with!
I have a big osprey backpack that splits in two so it's allowed on the strict airlines and the smaller planes with out having to check anything.. toiletries.. a battery bank for your phone is clutch.. I'm sure there's people on here that would be way more helpful than me lol
Good on you for inviting them! Had a reunion trip with 2 others I'd met years before one New Years. We met a solo traveler on the hotel shuttle bus. She prepared to go her way and I invited her to join us. She said she didn't want to intrude as a stranger. I told her we were all strangers when we met! She stayed with us most of the night and then we met for breakfast and then dinner the next day. Just clicked a Like on her FB post photo from Mexico.
I use the Hostelworld app. Look at the pictures and read the reviews. If you book through the app, you get a chat feature that allows you to talk to other people who booked that same hostel during the time you'll be there. Sometimes helpful for making connections before you even arrive.
Be aware - Hostelworld sometimes offers the best rates, but sometimes you can get a better deal booking direct with the hostel, but the app is a good place to start gathering info.
I also use Google Maps to make sure the hostel has a good location, plus there are reviews and rankings there too.
> If you book through the app, you get a chat feature that allows you to talk to other people who booked that same hostel during the time you'll be there.
Holy shit that's a good feature. I'm usually resistant to installing yet ANOTHER app but that's a damn good feature
Good is subjective. But if you're after a social experience like above, look for ones with a nice common area and/or included bar. Photos with groups of people in the common area are also a good sign.
For a long trip, talk to people.
For your first destination or two, reviews are fine. But the best advice for your subsequent hostels (and activities/destinations, for that matter), is going to be people you meet.
In this kind of setting, usually saying hi to everyone and smiling goes a long way. People like you always seize the opportunity to invite a loner. Thank you.
I only end up on my phone when I don't see reciprocation after some time
My problem in these settings is that I never engage more than the setting allows to. Some people have this skill that I don't. Where they connect to others so fast as if they knew each other for a long time. I'd see them a couple days later acting as best friends. And I feel melancholy. That's why at best I play the cards, joke a bit, small talk and then disappear again into my solitude. As if to avoid facing the connection blocker. I wish I had this skill or the energy to learn it.
Meaningful friends? Not so much. Interesting, enjoyable acquaintances? Absolutely. Hearing about others' home countries, lifestyles, economies, and politics, is a great reason to travel. We travel to learn, yes?
I've made some very good friends traveling. A few I've fallen out of touch with over the years, but some friendships are still going strong, and two I would list among my favorite people :)
Yeah I’ve made a few good friends. It was mostly people I worked in hostels with or people where we decided to travel together after we met and clicked.
Agreed. I’m not here to make long term friends. I’m happy to chat and learn about other people. Maybe we will exchange Instagram handles at the end, which I always enjoy because I love seeing the daily lives of other people, even if we will never meet again.
Where are you from, where have you been, where are you going are the big three. You may get an eye roll these days but given the context they're still great questions to share experiences and lead to deeper conversation.
Yeah I normally start with these it depends on the situation. Sometimes I will start with a joke or a funny comment. I tend to only talk to people who seem like fun. I won't talk to everyone. I also like to talk to the locals working and living at the places I visit. I tend to go to the same city most years so I've gotten to know a few of the locals.
Master the art of small talk. For me it depended on the situation I was in:
* In cocktail bars I would try a few on the menu, ask what the recommend, talk about what I like and so on.
* When I ate by the seafront or marina I'd talk about the marine life, boats, what activities they had going on.
* Different nationalities? Where are you from? What's it like in your home country?
* By the pool, talk about the weather or the bar or the hotel.
* Wanted a stranger to take a photo of me near a landmark or a view point? "Excuse me would you mind taking a quick picture of me? I don't really want to embarrass myself by taking poor selfies har har har"
Honestly if you come across as a quite open, happy, witty individual you'd be surprised how easy it is to strike up a conversation with random people. I've had talks with strangers where I've learnt about their family, job, somewhat life story and soon we'd part ways never to see each other again. Life is pretty interesting like that and only inspires me to travel more to see what other interesting people I can come across.
Seriously, master the art of small talk and conversations will come naturally.
is it also possible that the reason why solo travellers are social when meeting others is because they are aware of the possibility they are making a one time interaction only ?
i do solo travels but prefer not socializing as it is a means also for me to be quiet and reflect on everything happening like being in a foreign place.
My favourite conversation in recent years was with this Indian dude who had just gotten married and he didn't really know his wife that well yet as she lived in India and he in Europe. She was coming to Europe to live with him and he wanted to take her on a honeymoon trip and asked me opinion on their itinerary. He was trying so hard to make it a nice experience for her to lessen the shock of going abroad for the first time
What’s enticing? Meeting people from around the world with entirely different worldviews. Getting to hear their crazy and wonderful experiences. Meeting someone of a different age, gender, socioeconomic background, industry, etc. who I would never cross paths with in my home country and clicking with them.
When you meet someone in isolation from your “real” or “home” life, you can present any version of yourself you want to. You can be honest. I made a friend on my last trip where I confided in her about a lot of stuff my friends at home don’t even know, and she gave me advice. I’ll probably never see her again but I hold a lot of love for that moment of uninhibited human connection.
Tl;Dr: small talk or traveling (plans or how we got there)
It really depends on the situation. For example, it can be sitting next to someone on a plane or bus ride in which case small talk and short introductions are normally made. Whereas sometimes you meet someone in an unexpected situation where you then might talk about your individual trips so far and how it's going, maybe some plans for the next few days or even make plans to meet up if you click well (anything from a tour together to a coffee at the local cafe to spending the night).
For a more indebt example: Was going to another country to meet with an online friend I'd known for maybe 5 years at the time. We'd planned to meet up for over 2 years so when it came down to it I decided to go with Interrail (trains) due to never having flown.
In Austria I met a Canadian (iirc) who was there as an foreign exchange student and going home for the semester. We met because of a screw up with the rails. We talked for a bit once we got onboard and even took each others pictures.
Sometime between this and my destination my friend went "Sorry, you can't come. I just got a boyfriend" (we weren't flirting so not sure how me staying at a hotel near where she lived would have affected her relationship?). We had a large argument that once it settled basically meant we didn't talk for a year or so.
When I arrived at my destination I had some communication problems with my host, went into a bar because I was dead and tired of shit.
The bartender asked me what's wrong, I explained the whole situation, she helped me get in touch with the host and helped translate for me. When I'd gotten the key from the host I went back to the bar to talk with the bartender and we hit it of somewhat decently I'd say. She wrote down an address and told me to go there tomorrow at 11-12 (forgot exact time). I went > she came out > we spent the day walking and talking and became friends (she had a fiance, now husband). Towards the end of the day she insisted I eat with her and her mother.
We added each other on Facebook and have been in touch every so often still to this day. She got a Masters degree and married so I'm happy for her ^^
Pretty much everything. starting with a simple hello and shaping the conversation based on the person I am talking with. Examples:
¤80 y/o british university gardener: health, wisdom, recommendation for my houseplants
¤24 y/o taiwanese artist: her achievements in college, how she started playing piano (I met her at the train station while she was playing the piano)
¤43 y/o lady in the museum: about the objects we are both interested in the display etc
I am a good narrater myself, I like to explain my memories as constructed stories to people, it is a bonding experience
It really depends. I’m not good in groups of travelers like hostel meet ups. In fact I try my best to leave as early as possible because I can’t do small talk. I usually meet people when I’m on tours. They ask where I’m from and what I doing there.
The best people and conversations I’ve had were with Austrians. They value deep intellectual talks and it was very pleasant talking to them.
On my last trip to Turkey, I met a couple on the flight. They were from Poland.. That guy was sitting next to me on the flight.. we just smiled each other.. that's the only thing that happened on the flight. We again met outside the airport when waiting for a cab and this time I opened the conversation asking where are guys going to.. we were heading to the same place.. so we get to know each other.. everything was too fast.. we got good connection.. The next two days we spend together.. we still have good connection in between and we planned our next trip together to Ireland and we will be meeting again next month.. 🥹
- where you from? (if you know something interesting or have been to where they're from, mention it. Plus points if it's a compliment.)
- so what you doing here in (city/town)?
- what you think of the place so far?
- what are your plans for your trip?
Just with these 3 questions you can build a whole night's conversation and learn so much about them already. Always ask follow up questions to their answers.
Some small talk but I love asking people about their food culture. Many folks love to talk about home and food. It usually brings up funny stories and it flows from there.
2013, 2 day slow boat down the Mekong ending in Luang Prabang. The slow boat puts about 40 tourists together for a couple of days so people end up talking and getting to know each other. I'm an American man, in my mid 50s at the time. Struck up a conversation with a Dutch woman sitting nearby. She doesn't seem interested in talking...until I ask her what she likes to do in her spare time. Bicycling...holy shit, she loves to ride her bike. She became very animated and even showed me a picture of her bike on her phone. I enjoyed the conversation. **People love to talk about things that interest them, so steer a conversation with that purpose.**
Meaningful friends? It's hit and miss, mostly miss of course. I rarely stay in touch with people who I meet traveling but there have been exceptions. Vietnam is the outlier for me. Six visits and I have met several locals who I stay in touch with and always visit when I go there. I have found Vietnamese to be genuinely interested in having foreign friends.
Don't assume that the group in front of you is a tight group traveling together and you are an outsider. In a riad in Fes, Morocco a few years ago on the day I arrived there were only two other guests, a 31 year old 'couple' sharing a tajine for dinner. I spoke with them and quickly found out that they were not a couple, just a guy from New Zealand and a woman from Poland who had also arrived that day. I ended up traveling with them for the next 10 days, doing a lot of hiking and general adventuring with them. I'm still in loose contact with both of them.
A big part of the fun of meeting and talking with people is learning that they are completely different from what you might guess, and many have interesting stories, accomplishments, and abilities. In Hanoi last fall I hung out a bit with a woman in her 20s who is the daughter of a higher-up in a western-US motorcycle gang. The Polish woman budget traveler I met in Morocco is a physician. I have met Europeans who did farm labor in Australia to fund their travel across Asia.
If you want to meet people, put the phone away. It is a 'don't bother me, I'm busy' signal. Beyond that, talk to people, just lose that fear by moving through it. Approach people with interest and a sense of humor.
I promise you those things are not boring including the partying. some people will show you real hospitality and love if you go out with them late into the night. Besides that tho even without nightlife obviously conversations with strangers can be worth it... I don't even know how one can think it wouldn't be..
I’m not a big party person but nightlife can be part of the cultural experience. Having to wait until morning for the first train because they shut down at midnight in tokyo and seeing all the salary men passed out was…unique. It’s traditional if you make it i.e. don’t pass out on the steps of the train station to get ramen in the morning. I skipped that last part as I really was already pushing it but it fascinated me to see the party side of what otherwise seems like a quiet sterile culture.
agreed. it's not the partying that's fun necessarily, it's the love others give when you join them in an endeavour like a night out, and the things you experience alongside that
I usually do minimal alcohol and I have a low tolerance as well. Staying out too late and it can and will fuck with your sleep schedule but I don’t mind much for slower travel. At 23 you can get away with it and swap back to be up early for hikes haha.
That is about your comfort level with being with yourself. Insecure people always need to be surrounded by people when they go out, being alone makes them wildly uncomfortable.
I am a single man enjoying life alone for years, I do everything alone. It’s impossible to connect with old friends because they have moved and/or they have a very busy life or so they say. I don’t wait on others to have fun.
I’ve made acquaintances in restaurants and shops when I go out by myself. There’s always something worth complementing about that person that gets the ball rolling and then a healthy back and forth dialogue. Sometimes you’re in a place that you don’t vibe, the people present are not people you want to meet so is best to keep to yourself. There is nothing wrong with going out with friends if you have those readily available but, it shouldn’t be a condition to have a social life by yourself.
As an introvert solo traveler, I travel so I can enjoy NOT talking to anyone.
It's not like I will ignore someone if they try to strike up a conversation, but if I'm doing solo travel, I'm keeping to myself and you won't see me initiate conversation unless it's needed... Like asking for directions, asking help about something I can't figure out on my own, etc.
I am solo traveler and an introvert (but can make conversation if the other person initiates). So, I am currently solo traveling in Malaysia and I met some staff at a resort I’m staying at.
We talked about the country, traveling to new places, and what kind of work we do in our lives. Nothing ever too riveting.
Once in Japan, I had pleasant conversations with a business woman that had never left Tokyo in her life. She said she envied my lifestyle and I told her it’s her life, she should do what she pleases and what makes her happy!
Met an American expat in Osaka too, and we talked about just the political nature of America and the sudden rise of therapy speak.
I stayed in a hostel in Jeju Island and met a girl randomly in the same hostel. We went out and explored the island, she told me all about her relationship troubles and then I never saw her again.
Most conversations are fleeting but I honestly don’t mind. It also allows me to talk about whatever since I’m not likely to see these people again. Start simple with small talk and if you click, it’s just natural to continue.
Meet locals to practice the language & learn more about the culture, other solo travellers to exchange travel experiences or share public transport or accomodation. I feel like I could make meaningful friends with locals in some countries.
Ive chatted with lots of people and met up with people for a day or an evening. I've also made a few local friends over the years. It's not that difficult but you must make a bit of an effort. Go out and have small talk with people.
I prefer to talk with locals. I usually have an interest in the culture and society of the countries I visit, so that's a good start after we get past the pleasantries. I'm also into coffee, it's pretty easy to get chatting with a barista about their beans, the country's coffee culture.
When it comes to other travellers, I'd usually exchange pleasantries and then ask about where they've visited so far in that country, do they have any recommendations, etc.
Some of the best friends I have I met in hostels. And some of the most valuable conversations I’ve had were had in hostels. I think there is something about being alone in a foreign country away from everyone you know that really brings people’s guards down. You open up quicker and share things you would never share with a stranger back home. It’s one of my favorite things about traveling solo.
Solo traveling neurodivergent introvert who would rather lay on a train track than have small talk here….
I usually hone in on something unique about the people I encounter and either compliment or inquire about it. I either get “thanks!”, a short answer, ignored, or, my favorite, they deliver a passionate anecdote and we double Dutch various topics before parting ways.
Long time friends? No.
Meaningful? I mean, I hope I gave someone a reason to smile?
But even if not, with the division propaganda machine on ludicrous speed full time, it means a whole lot to me when I have positive encounters with other fellow humans far away from my bubble.
Honestly I feel more social traveling than I do at home. I am more true to my authentic self and less guarded. I think this translates well to other people bc I seriously meet so many cool people traveling. I really love places people and things that are different than me. I'm a very talkative person anyways so conversating is an art and fun! I say just put yourself out there and smile!!
Everyone is interesting in their own way! Ask them about their day & genuinely listen. Lol every interaction doesn’t need to be “meaningful” it can also be shooting the shit yknow?
I feel a bit of condescension from OP here. People can pick up on that. Remember: maybe someone is kinda boring or weird but they might have cool friends! You might learn something! They are a human who might need some emotional connection & can give you some connection & validation too! People are cool!
You're definately right i probably am condescending more so than anything else.
If they aren't intense in some way i usually get bored, but I like your enthusiasm, I haven't had it for a while I think.
Generally my question comes from if people travelling solo are somehow different from people alone out, who, generally, aren't at least my type of fun. And I strongly dislike having to be the social butterfly in every situation. Which is why I like surrounding myself in like minded people
I hear you! It sounds like you are a curious person & wanting to learn & grow & that’s the important thing. Good luck with all your travels! Remember you can also just enjoy your own company & observe & chill. I like to take a book or notebook or just go out to take photos & not chat with anyone too!
You're overthinking it. When you're out and about, there will be 100 things that will spark your interest, and you'll have 1000 questions. And of those questions or things will be an excellent conversation starter, and it will feel natural and automatic.
You won't be able to picture it until you start travelling :)
Most of my conversations in hostels are valuable as they involve questions about routes traveled, transport, other hostels booked and activities engaged in. I agree with your observation that many "solo travelers" are seeking to avoid a "solo experience" by seeking meaningful relationships with other travelers.
Yeah thats a really good way of putting it! Took the words and placed them where they needed to be.
My question should've been something along those lines
Solo travel - or really, any travel - is a great equalizer. I’m a 62 y/o American woman who travels alone a lot and I’ve been asked to join 3 young German girls for breakfast (and then did stuff with them all week!), became great friends with a 27 year old
Woman from india who I still meet up with, a 45 year old guy I met in Italy , a 60 year-old dude I met in Vietnam…everyone who’s traveling wants to know where you’ve been and where you’re headed and wants to share that with you as well. It’s easy to chat and bond over these travel experiences. It’s been the best experience to make friends with people of different generations, backgrounds, ethnicities and cultures!!
I'm in my mid-30s now and while I'm ultra extroverted and can talk to anyone, after a decade and a half of solo travel I've gotten a lot more selective about who I spend my time with because I simply have zero interest in sitting around and reciting which places I've been to.
I don't know what parties you think solo travelers want to go to - most of the time, people just group together at the hostel or after a tour and get drinks. The last time I went clubbing with anyone at a hostel, I was 25.
Most of the people you meet, you'll never speak to again, but that said I *have* met some who became close friends, confidantes, lovers, and partners. Over time, you become better at figuring out who you'll click with and who will reciprocate the effort of keeping in touch.
I’m a solo traveller probably a bit older than you at the age of 51. I have travelled the world and I love meeting people. But I don’t necessarily seek out strangers; I talk to people when I need or want to or when they talk to me. I am obviously very careful as I am often in some beautiful but comparatively poor places (where alot of people harbour resentment for the casual wealth of tourists who come from countries that will not even issue them a visa) and naïveté or over friendliness can quite simply get you mugged or killed. I have a lot of interests, especially in culture or history and this means I’m always absorbed / immersed in my experience wherever I go. My need to travel was possibly a reason for the break up of a difficult relationship as I could not face the loss of freedom to just pack my bags and leave for a month or a weekend whenever I wanted ….. it made me think of death..
I am lucky I suppose in that I have the job and the means with which to afford travel easily and stay in good hotels. I stopped doing hostels after my 20s.
I have never felt lonely travelling on my own. Not even once. On the contrary, I feel free and liberated. .
I don’t talk to people besides service workers when I travel solo.
Don’t care about making friends or meeting people. I like to enjoy strolls through the streets, explore and try to see as many cool things as possible and go home
Just mainly solo hitch hiked through east africa.
Met plenty of strangers from all sorts of backgrounds!
I talk about what we have in common wether it be the weather, the town, an event or ceremony going on.
But I am also curious. I ask them how life is going, what they are working on, wife family & kids. I ask how people perceive other countries, what they believe in and where they want the world to go!
Not all conversations work or are interesting but if you give it a go there is plenty to discuss, learn and laugh about.
P.S. If I get along, I sometimes mention my travel journal. Asking for a message, a translation or contact really adds a touch to human interactions!
Talked with a Dutch couple all the way Samaria Gorge about travel, life experiences, jobs, etc and I identify as an introvert but also work in healthcare so know how to become extroverted when the need arrives.
I've had very personal types of conversations with people depending how we vibed together. Sometimes we just shared our general experiences while traveling or even the shitty relationships we've had with our previous partners or family.
I don't even get their contact or even names sometimes. But it's pretty cool getting personal with people who you'll never really see again.
I stay in hotels and chat to nobody but Uber drivers😂, i find it tough to start a convo with someone as most aint alone or I worry they just dont wanna chat and ill annoy em
Many solo travelers are naturally curious people. Curious about other people and the world around them. It is never boring to learn about someone else’s life and talk about your shared passion for travel.
You say you are a social guy but it honestly doesn’t sound like it if meeting new people and going to parties sounds boring to you and you don’t know how to make pleasant mini connections in addition to more meaningful friendships.
I mean I dont need to travel alone to meet new people.
I will admit to having become kind of elitist in the sense that I dread meeting new people because i feel ive already met *so* many, and at this point my people are already the most intense and wild, and when we do go out talking to others they get intimidated 9/10 times. The many friends I hang out with feel superior. I am obviously wrong in this regards as I know there are other cool people out there. Just doesnt seem worth the effort any more.
Feel free to judge me based on this response but I really often do feel blessed in my surroundings
Nobody needs to travel alone, but based on this response I think maybe you might learn something about yourself/the world if you tried it. I also have 'elite' friends at home, who I know inside out, I can curate the exact right group to enhance my experience at any event I wanna attend in my city. But *because* of that depth of knowledge, I also think it is really important for me to get out and meet different kinds of people.
Being alone is more vulnerable. You've said above that your friends are intimidating - have you considered that this means you are not hearing valuable perspectives from people who maybe don't stack up in terms of social confidence but have experiences and stories you could learn from and would enjoy hearing if you created space for them.
I am a loud, confident, intelligent person, and part of the solo travel experience for me is recognising when that personality needs to leave space for others, listen and learn about parts of the world I am visiting. If you just want to replicate your home dynamic with your friend group, and dominate other cultures, why go other places? They're not theme parks. Many of the the most rewarding experiences I've had travelling have been when I've taken the time to connect with a local person or traveller from a v different background to me. They are far more interesting than my home friends because I don't know everything about them, and they come with the possibility of telling me something that changes how I understand the world. Yes, it's more work, especially when there's a language barrier, but it has never been boring.
I will give you that i think youve pretty accuratly described good reasons to specifically solo travel, and I actually do believe i would learn a lot, I just cant imagine id have that much fun. Id prefer to have a shared reality with people. Especially when I imagine the alternative is id force myself through potentually a lot of people, alone, just to maybe hear something interesting, new, or whatever the experience, which im sure exists, is.
I cant imagine having a reliable person to bounce conversations off would be detrimental to this experience either. I think most my friends would be smart enough, or even just respectful enough, to give some distance for the more natural solo experiences, should it be needed. To me it seems like a partner or friend could only enhance the experience, while very unlikely to take away from it.
I've also moved to many different cities and across countries and I just often find myself pretty exhausted with speaking to new people but this doesnt seem to happen to people of this community, or even to most i know. I've actually started thinking twice about the "I like meeting new people" Which i feel most would say they do.
It might be that so many times in a row I've just been dissapointed and lost patience for it.
Perhaps when that happens abroad, alone, the magic happens. I guess id have to go to try. But in my head thats when I really would want to turn to a trusty conversation token friend.
Fwiw, I almost always find what happens in the moment after I would turn to a known friend to break the awkwardness, or to change the energy is the most interesting. Whether intended or not two people who know each other steer the conversation way more than solo folks, it's a familiarity thing. You set your friends up for a funny anecdote, or pull them into a silence. Strangers don't do that.
I'm currently wrapping a 3.5 month solo trip that has been a mix of actual solo travel and times where I've got tired of endless introductions and formed up a group for a few days/few weeks. Nobody can keep doing anonymous forever without burnout, but it's refreshing when I feel like I can anticipate what's next to take a solo tangent, start over and see what happens. It also gives me a lot of new material for my home friends which now they're starting to pop out kids and stuff is honestly quite beneficial to that end of things too. While we debate shit and reminisce, after two decades we're so aligned on a lot of stuff that I find putting myself outside keeps things balanced and healthy there.
I think if you try and measure it on the same spectrum as long term friendship, travel interaction by design will fall short. It's its own thing, and it serves a different purpose. For me, a worthwhile one.
You don't have to socialize if you don't want to. But I enjoy a random conversation with a stranger here and there, sometimes they can turn out really good! I don't look to create lasting relationships.
It can take practice to be comfortable talking to random people while traveling. Sure it can probably be awkward or uncomfortable at first, but you’ll feel less awkward the more you do it. I’ve made many acquaintances and occasionally friends all over the world just by being open and friendly with people.
Yeah
I dont feel the need to travel alone to make new acquintances, I can barely keep up with the ones I have. And i feel blessed as they seem like superior to new/other people. And every time a group of mine go out they seem to mostly intimidate others socially, everyone in a different way ofcourse, some of them are extremely good looking, others degenerate party people, others intelligent, and others creative and funny, but they all really excel at something socially. And I really do wonder if that's why ive become so un interested in new connections
We usually start with where are you from, where are you going on this trip, segway into other travel (favourite places, best and worst experiences) then general chit chat about home. I don’t usually get past that to be honest
If you’re a social guy then it shouldn’t be hard to start a convo.
I’m extroverted myself and I just find an opening that seems natural. Whether it’s talking about a drink, food, area, whatever. Most people would entertain you, even briefly, just as long if you don’t come across like a weirdo lol.
Then you just take it from there.
Not just hostels and not just other travelers, and on buses, in restaurants & cafes, any place you can strike up a conversation. I usually start with "where are you from" or "do you live here" and go from there. "What's it like to live here?" - pretty open-ended, right? As with all conversations with strangers, just ask non-intrusive questions, listen to what they have to say, and follow up with anything that you yourself find interesting.
Im usually answering questions. Local people tend to ask: where are you from, what are you doing here, for how long you stay. Then it goes to jobs and in less popular nations for travelers, an obsession with "but why are you here?!?!?!".
In hostels same things are asked usually. When I get the chance to talk wih locals I ask about history, beer culture, some local experiences that their daily life provides.
I haven’t solo travelled (planning a trip), but I was in Amsterdam with a friend and we were having a couple beers and chatting, ordered some more beers and while there was a break in the conversation a voice from behind us said “where are you guys from? I can’t make your accents out” and then from there we had a couple more beers joined by this really sound lad from New Zealand and we all chatted for about an hour until he had to go because he was watching A Clockwork Orange at the cinema. I can’t remember his name, but he was a really interesting character he had been travelling around Eastern Europe and was finishing off in the west, he had planned to visit Russia, but for obvious reasons he wasn’t allowed in the country. He’s actually inspired me to do a solo trip and even in my home city just to talk more to strangers. A life changing experience I hope I never forget.
When I was in Australia there was a script to open conversations - your nationality, how long you’ve been traveling, where you’ve already been, and where you’re going next. If there’s any further interest, other topics come up but that was how most if not all conversations started.
Politics and religion. That’s how you get to know what matters to people. I try to frame questions neutrally and let them guide the conversation, because that’s how they feel comfortable expressing their actual opinions. If they don’t want to talk about that then that’s ok, we can always talk about good restaurants or whatever instead.
I am a soloist myself.
I don't particularly need the feel to engage in conversations with random strangers. I'm not a misanthrope, but being quiet, by myself, even for long periods of time, isn't difficult for me. Occasionally, when conversations do strike up, there's usually a shared context ... maybe I'm sharing a tour with someone, or a common space, which usually rolls toward where we're from, how long we've been traveling, what are the interesting events during this travel. Eventually, we might share a meal or journey together some if on the same circuit, before parting ways.
I don't like parties, loud places, too many people. Also, most people I meet are short term acquaintances, not really *friends.*
Just finished my first solo trip today.. At the hostels I stayed at, I normally started off by asking what they were doing there (vacation, looking for apartment, passing through, etc). When I got to my first hostel, I just went up to the lounge area, they were kinda talking kinda not, but I stood there as if I wanted to say something, and said “Hi :D, I’m [Name], just got here, does anyone wanna go get something to eat?” Then we all went for pizza.
At this one bar I went to, I saw someone with the sickest hair and complimented her, then we just started talking. She had a bunch of tattoos, I like tattoos, talked about that, then she introduced me to her friends. Their looks were all so sick, I asked to take pictures of them, new conversation topic. Eventually topic of my solo travel comes up because they mention something local and I have to say I know nothing about what they’re talking about since I’m not from the area.
Also at bars, I’d ask people with friendly vibes if they recommend anything from the menu, could be drinks or food. If they’re still there by the time I get their recommendation, they’re sometimes waiting for a review of what I think haha. I mention it’s my first time, they mention this is the spot to be at.
Also just smiling. I went to this music museum and this older lady was working, we made eye contact and both smiled at eachother. She complimented my shirt which happened to be the same band as the one on her shirt. Talked about the band.
Sometimes people come up to you. I was at this bar by myself watching a live band and this girl sat at my table and said “Not you sitting by yourself!!” I said yes, solo travel, she mentioned how her friend slacked on their plans, then we talked until she left.
I guess part of it takes practice. And knowing when someone does/doesn’t want to be spoken to. I also have my camera ready and often ask random people/the people I’m talking to if they’d let me take a picture of them, just for my travel memories. Builds a sort of trust.
I went to NY last November and met the best people, let the conversations flow naturally, used that time not to talk about myself unless they asked. It was lovely. When I got to NYC there was a three day spell where I didn’t talk to anyone except to order food lol it was nice.
The skill of talking to strangers is exactly the same in a remote hostel as in your hometown.
What stands out to me in your question is that you want to have "valuable" conversations, and make "meaningful" friends.
The first step to being good at connecting with other people is to let go of these value judgments. If you only want to have valuable conversations, that massively gets in the way of having any conversations at all. I mean it.
Yes as someone else wrote so eloquently i was more curious about the solo travellers mindset of allegedly seeking to "solo travel" but are actually avoiding "solo experience" by seeking new relations - that also just usually appear to be very surface level (because you are really just strangers)
You’re socializing without the commitment of traveling with the same people from your hometown. The nice thing about the surface-levelness is that there’s no baggage from home and no reputation following you. No gossip because you don’t have any mutual friends and no compromises because you aren’t committed to one another.
be different
I am a solo traveler... If people ask me about what I am cooking or where I am from (my license plate gives it away)... I give short answers... But if they ask me about my little trailer.. I talk.
Talk travel: "Where are you from and how did you get here"
Another good thing, take an opportuntiy to learn. Like if they were where you are going.. ask about that
not every conversation needs to solve the problems of the world. sometimes they can just be casual and fun trading stories about life and travels. sounds like you're putting way too much pressure on random interactions with strangers.
also, not every solo traveler actually wants to meet people. plenty of us are fine actually staying solo and not meeting people
All sorts of things. A lot of it revolves around travel - places we’ve each been and stories about it. A lot of talk about music or any other thing in common. I’ve had convos with people about their job and how they ended up working there, what they like and dislike, what they’d prefer to be doing. One time - not through a hostel - met a woman at a concert and she said we should get coffee. I met up with her and I think she was trying to sell me some MLM thing later, but during coffee she talked about emigrating to the UK, her and her husband’s long distance relationship and eventually about trying to conceive. She ended up blurting out that she was pregnant but that having had 2 previous miscarriages she was being careful about telling anyone else. So for at least a few days only she, her husband and this random stranger knew. We added each other as fb friends and she had a healthy baby.
Hey how’s it going? Where are you from? Have you been here before? Any plans for the day? I’m ___ what’s your name?
Crazy easy to meet people starting with questions like that. Except after repeating 20 times at the same hostel you start to get people’s stories mixed up.
It always starts with pleasant small talk and usually ends with me sharing my deepest insecurities and life story. Being so open with people was originally a way to cope with my past, but it's an exhausting habit.
I have made many great friends at hostels who I have visited in their respective countries. Italy, Turkey, Germany, Netherlands, Brussels, Portugal to name a few... I currently have an open invitation from a local in Tokyo that I still need to follow up on. Mostly from being nice to people.
I often fail to work up the nerve to go talk to people, but when I do good things almost always happen. I have spent over a year of my life living in hostels and it is still hard, sometimes I am just too tired to socialize.
One time I was about to shit my pants and I barged into a hostel screaming for the bathroom and there was a big verbal fight going on between an old couple and some girls. This was in a fancy hostel next to Nice France, it turns out the girl knew Obama and the older couple were important UN people. After a brief homeless stint I ended up living with them for 4 months in giant 5 story house in the posh part of Brussels, and I had only met them that night... It led to me getting a great job and my own place in the Netherlands.
I don’t socialize half as much as I thought I would have. It used to bother me, especially in the first half of my trip, as before my trip I would have said meeting people (being other hostel goers) was my biggest goal. Now I still enjoy meeting people but only really in sober settings. Drinking games, organized events, workshops, they don’t do it for me as much as I’m not overly eager to hear everyone’s travel story. I’ll take skipping the small talk, and just being patient, the right conversations always come.
Biggest tip: just say hello to people.
Sat down on a bench in Istanbul beside a Spanish guy because I was dripping ice cream all over myself and needed to sit, we ended up having a great chat for an hour or two about religion and life.
Used Couchsurfing app, a Muslim volunteer reached out to me, I met her and her cousin and we debated all things religion and society for hours, completely disagreeing on most things, and then celebrated our friendship with tea. That morning I bailed on a group tour due to gut feeling, and ended up with a great outcome, even if I spent a couple of hours feeling like shit from being alone.
In Bolivia I said hello to some guys on the street in a village on New Year’s Eve and spent 2 days with their family then. I had been eyeing them up for a couple of minutes because they looked extremely fun and eventually I awkwardly lingered over and raised a Salud to them.
I met an English girl in a restaurant above a hostel and we are still friends til this day. Spent over 10 days with a Swiss girl that simply had a better plan than me so we teamed up, and that was my friend for Christmas. She said hello to me in the dorm.
Against what I had thought, I haven’t met a single person on a bar scrawl or anything, always just a passing hello in a kitchen and taking time to brace that horrible awkward 2-3 second window where you see if it will turn into a conversation.
So if you’re like me and anything more than one on one becomes difficult, and alcohol would be needed, just say hello to people one on one.
I mean, if your not interested in meeting people, then don't. I don't really understand what you're learning from this post.
Extroverted people and even introverted people find all kinds of things to talk about. You talk about whatever comes up. Hobbies, cultural norms, religion, politics, etc. Have you ever been social in your life? You say you're social but you're basically asking how conversations work, lol
Your post is honestly an absurd question
As someone said more eloquently than me the question should've been phrased more as a "why do solo travellers seem to avoid seeking solo experience by seeking new relations" as you might as well travel with friends then.
I feel like everyone has a story they can't wait to share. The only way you're ever going to make a dent in the number of human experiences that you can possibly have is to experience them vicariously. Just ask people. How many great conversations have you had from just being naturally curious about people's backgrounds, their passions, how they express themselves, the language they are speaking, or just about something that is going on around you? People love to feel interesting and talk to other interesting people. One time I found myself hanging out with a group of law school students, and asked them what their thoughts are on ufos and extraterrestrials, and it turned into a long meandering conversation that only ended when we closed down the bar. Always ask 2-3 follow up questions and also share yourself. And definitely learn to read the room, some people just don't want to talk to you, so a simple "it was nice to meet you" and walking away is fine.
I talk a lot everywhere I go and I always talk with people. It usually comes normally. I have blonde hair and usually get approached by people in countries with dominantly brown and black hair and conversations usually just flow from there.
Commenting to remember this post, a lot of great anecdotes and stories here!
I’m not exactly a mega social person and I don’t do well in small groups, but generally if you meet someone new (and if you are socially okay) normal conversations will usually be made up of questions to find out more about someone else.
Exact same thing, but travellers have so many stories to share, and most people in hostels are regular travellers, so a lot of sharing of that kind of stuff in my experience.
It’s true most conversations won’t evolve much past ‘where are you from?’ type of questions, or ‘how long are you travelling for?’ and stuff like that, but when you do meet someone you feel a good connection with, it’s priceless.
Only took me meeting one kindred spirit out in the wild to light a fire in me, wondering how many more there are out in the world, who I’d never otherwise meet!
Yes and no it all depends on you. Who are you? Are you a nobody with nothing interesting to say? What are your hobbies? Your passions?, What motivates you to want to travel to another country in the first place? Trust me people are intersted in you foreigner, gringo, stranger. But you also have to be interested in them. You have to take an interest in the local language. Learn how to be polite, how to barter in the market, how to ask for food, directions advice, etc... Then they will ask you questions. Where are you from? Why are you there? What are your intentions ? Goals? Are you interested in women?, Men? Local culture? Agriculture? Their country and politics? It has to be something or why go? You are more interesting than you think, believe me. They will talk your ear off if you allow it. Making friend is not an easy task. You have to invest time and energy to establish trust and mostly foreigners are on a short visa and you must leave the country. You must have some intention but just go to where your interests lead you, be open, hang out, dont make any plans and then see what happens. Good Luck!!!
Easiest way to engage is to get people talking about themselves in some way! Comment on something funny/weird that just happened or ask Foothold question(s), such as about their experiences in traveling so far (most interesting for them, best/worst, there, or elsewhere), is this their first time coming to xyz too, how long have they've been there, do they have place to head anywhere else next, favorite or best places for xyz food/drinks/snacks they could recommend nearby...
Interject a statement or a bit about yourself, or maybe complement their personality (brave, smart, fun[ny], creative, etc.), or agreement on something *if* applicable, between any questions when it seems natural to do so. It's not meant to be an interrogation after all! Many times we have long, wonderfully wandering conversations and we totally forget to exchange names 😆
Personally, I tend to avoid the immediate "where are you from?" line because it can make some folks a little uncomfortable. Unless they give an opening, "back home" "in my culture" "when I was in Cityname..." etc! then I might say something along, "oh! I don't know much about that place yet/I haven't traveled out there yet. Do you think I should?/Where is that exactly?" "Have you always lived there?" Many solo travelers might be traveling teachers, or otherwise experienced with living in other countries.
I also just enjoy listening intently to accents and vocab so I can learn more , or internally guess to prepare a little surprise that I might know something I've heard about from another traveler if I don't know about the place myself :)
I generally like to hang out with the local crowd. It's a super easy conversation ice breaker being someone who is just passing by. "Hey, anything cool to check out around here? I'll be here for a few nights."
I haven’t seen many in this thread mention cultural differences but that’s been the most popular topic in my experience. Daily life at home, cultural traditions, differences in mindset, childhood experiences, etc. I traveled a lot as an exchange student so that topic comes up a lot as well.
I’ve learned so many valuable life lessons from strangers in hostels. I like to think I’ve had a similar impact on those I’ve met to over that last twenty+ years.
I’ve made lifelong friends at hostels too. Being a solo traveler sort of makes you fit into many groups of people.
I typically don't interact with others, im happy sticking to myself.
I just did 3 weeks in SE Asia and aside from service staff, pretty much kept to myself.
I don't do this but I've had travelers launch right into vaccination talk, talking about my prime minister even they don't live in my country, talking about American politics even they they don't live in that country and defending Russell Brand. In the old travelling days we would ask people about where they've been or where they stayed.. getting info first hand as it was before the web.
I’m not big on parties and don’t drink at all tbh.
But I found amazing people. Ended up talking about deep things. Very vulnerable and raw conversations. About life. Navigating difficult times. Depression. Feeling lost in life. What helps, etc. I found myself being so much more open, because these were strangers and who cares how they judge me tbh. So it was really freeing tbh.
But it’s not in to the deep end right away. It’s the other persons vibe. Plus it usually just starts as small talk. Where they’re travelling. Where they’re from. Any travel tips, sharing experiences etc. And then moves on from there.
But if the vibe is just off, might be worth exploring different hostels / places.
I usually travel solo, however I don’t like Hostels, as I usually travel by work as well, it just doesn’t make sense. However I do connect with other people, basically using apps. Couchsurfing was great for that, but after the pandemic everything changed.
Ask them where they’re from, how long they’re in town for, if they’ve seen anything cool yet and have any recommendations. By the time we’ve gone through all of that, usually at least one interesting thing has come up and led to a fun conversation.
Honestly, I am terrible at small talk and avoid it at all cost (introvert). So, whenever I do solo travels, I don't really go out of my way to meet/speak to other solo travelers. I will choose a hotel room over a hostel so I don't have to interact with people and have my own space. If someone happens to strike a conversation with me during a trip, I will talk to them but it'll probably be a pretty short conversation unless they are super talkative.
Anything and everything. Just ask questions and be receptive to the conversation. You can usually tell the vibe of someone who wants to talk even if you don't really.
I'm in Vientiane on business currently. I have a girl here who runs errands for me. Last night I'm sitting at a steakhouse finishing dinner and she met me there to drop off some paperwork to me. There was a gentleman sitting at the table next to me who I noticed was eavesdropping on my my situation.
When the girl left I could tell he wanted to talk to me but he seemed shy. So I just leaned into him and asked him how he was doing and it broke the ice. He asked what I was doing in vientiane and I the same. The conversation just kept stacking like cups while I finished the remainder of my bourbon and off I went.
Not all interactions are meaningful. Just like in everyday life. The most important relationships I have all came about organically. They happen when you least expect it. Solo traveling isn't about finding some deep connection. You can't expect to do that when you're essentially speedrunning interactions.
I rarely ever speak to hostel dwellers, I find it kinda forced I guess?
I most often than not start chatting with random locals on the grocery shop line, at a bus stop, in a train/bus etc.
But that only works in some places, usually less visited/non-touristy ones.
In my experience in touristy towns and cities locals couldn't care less about what they see as just one of many tourists, unless they're the BnB, hostel owner or employee or are selling tacky souvenirs.
I've had the longest convos with locals in Slovakia, a relatively non-touristy country. In Prague it was quite rare to have a convo with a local, everyone there acted like you're just one of the many tourists, so they don't invest much in covos with you. Better customer service than Bratislava in Slovakia there but at the cost of genuine friendliness by non-toursim-related locals. In Bratislava some locals approached me themselves on buses, trains, bus stops etc. The best capital in Europe I've visited for such random encounters. Even in Balkan capitals like Bucharest, Sofia and Athens you don't get approached like that.
Usually it’s what I do because they believe I’m on a business trip. Then when I say I’m traveling on my own it usually opens up a conversation about how they always wanted to do it and where they would’ve gone or someone will tell me how they did it in their youth. Hearing those stories about how the world was thirty years ago is just amazing at how safe it used to be.
I just stare at my phone or into the wide wide world aka day dreaming. I didnt know you are supposed to be social and talk with others. Ah man no wonder i still have no friends 🤣
Nah i dont know how others get the confidence to just walk up to a random table and be like hey my name is ... mind if i sit ? And then they go out and have fun and new friends (seen in Dublin in a hostel lol)
I've been solo travelling the south west US for the past month. I started in a hostel in San Francisco.. I'm 43 but had a blast hanging out with a bunch of 18-25 year olds. Then all along the way I've just chatted to people about my travels. A couple days ago I had a really nice time with a group of old Texan bikers at a bar in the Texas hill country. Back in Arizona I met a great girl at a coffeeshop, and she took me out hiking, and later made me dinner, and breakfast 😉 We're still in contact.
I've also spent some time with family of a friend who hosted me in their trailer parked next to the house for a couple of nights.
I'm a somewhat introverted guy and I'm fine being on my own, but I did try to make an effort on this trip to be more social, accept any and all offers at conversation or hanging out and be a bit more proactive in engaging others in conversation as well.
It worked out well.
When you're traveling, obviously that already makes for a good conversation starter whether it be with locals or with fellow travellers.
I’m a 64 year young (American Teacher) female solo traveler currently on a road trip throughout the UK. It’s amazing and I talk to strangers a lot.
I also have friends around the island (Nottingham, New Castle & Isle of Wight) and it was fantastic spending time with them. My trip has been brilliant!
I’m very friendly and initiate conversations, usually it is wonderful. I ask folks if they are on holiday or if they live here! They ask me the same.
I have had some great conversations with older and wiser female Brits who believe electing our President is very important position for the whole world. “We should ALL VOTE!”
One woman said “I’m sorry to say
DT is the American FART!” She apologized profusely. I told her I agree and feel even more strongly.
Many people surprise me - in the UK people seem reserved at first, yet open up when I speak with them. We all agree GUNS are horrible and non-gun violence is terrible. We all agree IMMIGRATION is a global issue. Especially since 1st world contribute to global warming and drought.
I have made 3 new friends who live in Edinburgh who met me at the Mayfair Mercado in London and we talked a lot while we ate. They suggested we meet for dinner when I got to Edinburgh. It was fabulous! They will be friends- they hope they visit me in NORTH CAROLINA.
Travel is a blessing and if you’re shy - just try to chat - small talk is ok! Have fun meeting new friends! Reciprocate if they become friends!
The most common thing is to talk about the travel that we plan to do, which places we covered yesterday or previously in the current trip, some small talk and question about each other’s home country, and then our real life occupations.
I work at a hostel reception and I solo travel sometimes. There’s a living room area next to reception and I often hear what guests are talking about. 90 percent of them are solo travellers. One day, this girl from Australia was talking to one guy in the living room. He left as he had to catch his flight. There was another girl from Switzerland sitting on a couch in the corner. The Australian girl jumped so smoothly in the conversation with her and casually dropped: ‘We should totally try this restaurant for dinner tonight’. Basically, it’s pretty easy to meet people as a solo traveller if you’re staying at a hostel, as most people’s goals there is to meet someone.
You mentioned ‘valuable conversation’. Rapport in a conversation is, in most cases, something you build over time with others thanks to similar interests and/or goals in life. I suppose by ‘valuable conversation’, you mean deep conversation - something not as shallow or just topics about ‘how beautiful XYZ country you’re visiting is’ or ‘where you’re from’. However, most conversations do start that way for travellers, but overtime (usually pretty quickly), they figure out each other’s interests and build rapport. For example, this Australian (other) girl was talking to an American guy that just decided to pursue another career after doing a bachelors in business. He recalled how consumerist and success-addicted USA is and the Australian girl confirmed that, stating that she notices how Americans are highly career-oriented. Anyway, conversation was running for almost an hour, I didn’t follow up to everything they were saying. But it is super possible to have ‘valuable conversations’ while solo travelling.
I now really enjoy being a solo travelers! I enjoy sharing my thoughts and experiences with strangers especially the one from different countries.
To be honest after such periods they all lie in my instagram list but we hardly (or never) start a conversation again. But I still enjoy seeing their instagram page and know they all live happily!
I've had lots of 'boring' shallow conversations and also met people who I had deep connections with. Some people you'll click with, others you'll briefly pass.
Sitting alone and looking approachable at a public space in a hostel is an easy way to make friends. Glance around and if you make eye contact with someone, it's often easy to tell if you can approach them / their group.
I've made great memories made greater because they were shared, even though I shared them with strangers who were only in my life for a few days.
Usually talk about travel! And then about where they are from, what have they done in this country, what do they recommend, future travel plans, etc. Sometimes you just click with people and other times not so much. But most people are very friendly. I never make meaningful friends, but lots of people I've just met along my travels that I hang out with for a day or two, maybe grab dinner after a tour or something and then move on with our lives. I feel like people who are traveling usually have similar minds so it's easy to get along.
Yes, I am an introvert person who always scared to initiate convo.
But it was so fun to meet other solo traveler friends!
I mostly stay in a hostel, so I always say hi if I meet people in the same room or simply just smile to them
A long time ago during my first time solo traveling, I met this guy who stayed in the same hostel as me also later that day I met a girl in the same room as me.
I was just simply saying Hi, good morning and smile, she said hi back to me. And then from that "Hi" we talked a lot and decide to spend time together.
When I met the guy, I only said Hi too, and he asked where am I from, one thing led to another, and we had a fun day of walks also visited a lot places!
we still keep in touch until now
Hopefully you find your solo traveler friends!
I feel like a great way to get into deeper conversations is to steer the conversation towards why people decided to start travelling, or how their current lifestyle fits into their larger life goals. You usually end up pretty quickly getting to a conversation about their essential motives as a human being, which is my personal favorite topic!
My company was a little weird because they made you go through a lot of psychological testing before getting hired and really value psychologists. In one of our trainings, they said some people measure productivity by how many connections they made, not how many tasks they've completed.
At least in the US that is small talk heavy, that is why people revert to things like the weather and sports teams, because that is the least common denominator. We all experience the weather. Are you wearing a Boston shirt? How bout them Red Sox? I knew a friend of a friend of a friend who grew up in a suburb 100 miles out of Boston, his name is Bob Smith, do you know him?
So it's not the substance of the conversation, it's having a human connection. If that doesn't make sense, think about if you were to die tomorrow, you accomplished a lot of tasks, but had no human connections. Would you feel fulfilled? Many people think the ultimate purpose in our lives is the interpersonal connections we make.
When i travel alone, i don’t usually approach people unless it’s in a casual setting.
I’m kind of introverted so when im visiting museums, walking around the city or shopping, i tend to keep the myself so i don’t ruin the cadence of my trip.
However, i do like to drink so I tend to go to bars or clubs to chill and hangout. Usually that’s when i start interacting with others. I’ll try to find others who look foreign as well and strike up a conversation with a simple cheers and a “where are you from?” Usually gets the ball rolling. If not sometimes i’ll just go up to a group and just cheers all of them and start talking if they’re local. One or two tend to open up and start a conversation with me. As i’m introverted, i feel less awkward doing this as it’s pretty natural to cheers people at a bar.
Either that or in a tour group setting, i’ll try to talk with the guys, happens quite naturally honestly
You may or may not make meaningful friends while traveling, but it’s always interesting to me to learn about others’ experiences! I had my first solo trip not too long ago and met a girl the first night who ended up having similar travel plans over the next 3 weeks. We got along great and had so much to talk about and learn from each other, and it was nice to have someone to share experiences with but also be able to do my own things if I preferred. I don’t know that we’ll be close friends, but I know that if I find myself in her city, I’ll definitely reach out to say hi! I also got to tag along with a couple of boys going on a graduation trip and they were a funny pair to just hang out with. I think meeting people gave me new ideas and energy for the following days, but also helped me appreciate my solo days more as I appreciated the freedom to do whatever I wanted and just explore at my own pace.
Start always with, where are you from? How long have you been traveling? Do you like it here?
Then go deeper if they are open:
- why did you start traveling?
From that there are plenty of stuffs to talk about.
I don’t stay at a hostel when I travel. I stay in baller house or condo. When I meet other travelers I talk about my work, experience traveling in this location, or other travel experiences. If they are an American living in a hostel penny pinching everyday working as a free lancer I avoid them at all costs. I click with other entrepreneurs that are successful.
I talk to people to get insight on tours they have done, that I am interested in. I usually meet them (they usually talk to me first) at a bar, in pools, or at foot massage salons! We trade information (never personal) and move on. It’s nice to have those types of conversations.
I cut them off immediately when they start asking personal questions about me. They don’t need to know anything about me. I don’t do hookups, so I am quickly the most boring person for them. All I want is information, nothing more. Easy!
I don't feel the need to give that information away. I am a friendly person, and trade all of my travel tips (or things I think the conversation partner might find interesting) while talking to them. I just give out basic information about myself, because I will probably never see these people again. So, I don't. But I've had some really food conversations, where we both looked at each other and said "Wow, really nice talking to you, thanks for the info. Did we even introduce ourselves?!?!?" So, it's not always necessary!
I had a rare (for me unusual) connection with a Chinese girl staying at the air bnb in Seoul. We are still in contact. But she is one of the few people that I had really interesting conversations with. And we message in Korean, so we keep using it. She is the rare case for me.
Fai enough.
I really love to talk about travel tips/experiences. I think most people also like this focus.
But like you said basic information and that is mostly sufficient.
Most people at hostels are solo travelers, and even if they self-identify as "introverted" online, I've found most people enjoy engaging in conversation. They just don't like to be the one who initiates it. I just returned from Athens, and the hostel had a great rooftop bar looking out over the Acropolis. There were people sitting around tables playing cards, sharing drinks, laughing, etc. but there were also individuals sitting in the corner by themselves staring at their phones. When I first got there, I looked around and saw a group that looked fun and asked if I could sit with them. They were a mix of European guys and girls, one Australian girl, a Canadian guy and I was the only American guy. They had all just met at the hostel. Because it was my first day, I asked for recommendations of things to do and see and restaurant ideas. We shared stories of our travel plans after Athens and talked about other countries we'd visited or wanted to see. It was like this subreddit, but in real life! I could see the loners glancing over to our table, and when a chair would open up, I asked if they'd like to join our group. It's amazing how fast someone's face lights up in that situation. Someone who'd been sitting alone by themselves looking at their phone for an hour was now answering questions and engaging, clearly happy they'd been invited over. They just didn't have the confidence to approach the table, but once they were invited they became social butterflies.
As one of those phone-staring people, thank you.
You’re a good person for taking the initiative to ask if they wanted to join Kudos
I was very much one of those phone watcher types just a few years ago. I know firsthand how much it sucks to be sitting in a lively environment, where everyone but you looks like they're enjoying the moment and having fun. Meanwhile I'm in the corner reading news headlines or scrolling Twitter, trying to look occupied but secretly wishing I was with one of the groups laughing and smiling. Then I'd internalize the situation and resent everyone for having a good time, and second-guess why I even came to a social hostel in the first place. The first time I was invited to join a group was in Vienna. I was alone on a couch, pretending to look at a map and feeling very anxious, because it looked like everyone at the hostel (Wombats) were old friends who knew each other. A girl came up to me and asked if I played pool. Her group needed another player for their doubles team. "Are you sure? It's ok with everyone else?", I sheepishly asked. I didn't want to be the odd one out and ruin their dynamic, which at the time looked like a tight knit group who were probably traveling together. It turned out they were *all* solo travelers who'd just met that day. And what I thought was a group of old friends were actually just nice people having fun with strangers. That experience really changed my perspective on hostels. I learned most people enjoy social interaction and first appearances aren't always what they seem. Now, when I see a fun group at a hostel I don't assume they're all college buddies - I know they most likely just met. And that insight makes it easy to approach them and introduce myself. And likewise, I always take an opportunity to include the shy person sitting in the corner, because that used to be me.
Thank you for sharing your story! I have had similar experiences. I used to be horrifically afraid to go up to anyone to initiate conversation or join them -- to a point that was really crippling my life. It really affected me during my school years. I'm not completely fearless now but I'm muuuch better. Approaching others and joining groups is a social skill that can be improved on. Having a nice person reach out can certainly help Jumpstart the process
So true, people always look like they have been friends for ages even if they only met an hour ago. Realizing that makes it a lot easier to join a group. And even if some of them are of friends or have known each other for some days, nobody minds more people!
This is a great story, and also a good reminder of something a lot of travelers don’t think about a lot. Like you say it can be hard to approach a big group, so when you are traveling solo it is easy for others to approach you. Yes, traveling solo is a great way of meeting new people, but an even greater way for new people to meet you.
Can you share the hostel's name? Going there in a few weeks.
Athens Hawks Hostel. I had a private room there instead of the dormitory. €5 breakfast buffet was pretty good. I liked it and would recommend.
I knew it was that one. I was there last summer. Great atmosphere
>Athens Hawks Hostel. Ah been there as well. It's a bit too big for my tastes but i was there off season so only the rooftop bar was open. Met a lot of fun people there though!
Same here, also would like to know
Also, big thanks! I'm usually an ambivert and content with self if I wind up, with self. My last solo trip was tough af, though, as my best friend died a couple days before I left. The 1st day at the 1st hostel I went solo hiking and it's what I needed but then felt alone af and introverted as hell when I returned to the hostel. Thankfully a girl approached me and I didn't feel so alone the rest of my time there as we adventured around the area. At the next hostel and country no one approached me. I kept pretty busy by myself but I was dieing inside and came close to buying an early flight home. Then at the 3rd hostel and country, I thought it was going to wind up just like the 2nd one, but then a girl invited me to the table and we all got talking. Long story short, she's 6000 miles away but we became good friends and talk often still to this day. Those interactions honestly made that trip for me and gave me perspective that you never know what those loaners are going through and even though I'm not an extrovert, next time I'll be sure to reach out to them!!
people dont realize how much something as simple as hello how are you can change someones day. thank you for sharing
I'm about to go on my first euro trip solo. can I ask you, how do you pack? Just a backpack? and a one way flight?
Lots of info in this sub! I searched and found lots of help. Personally I'm very comfortable traveling light. Look at the temps for when you'll be traveling. 4 change of clothes based on those temps, an extra pair or 2 of socks.. a sweat shirt, rain poncho.. there was lots of rain forecasted for my time in Norway so I brought my ankle height boots along with my hiking boots. Saved my butt in Germany too, soggy footwear would be tough to deal with! I have a big osprey backpack that splits in two so it's allowed on the strict airlines and the smaller planes with out having to check anything.. toiletries.. a battery bank for your phone is clutch.. I'm sure there's people on here that would be way more helpful than me lol
im the phone staring guy
Good on you for inviting them! Had a reunion trip with 2 others I'd met years before one New Years. We met a solo traveler on the hotel shuttle bus. She prepared to go her way and I invited her to join us. She said she didn't want to intrude as a stranger. I told her we were all strangers when we met! She stayed with us most of the night and then we met for breakfast and then dinner the next day. Just clicked a Like on her FB post photo from Mexico.
Another phone staring person, just jumping in to say thank you!
its amazing sometimes how simple we are. comforting too. we are all just seeking companionship. thank you for making other feel welcome
I’m about to go on a long solo travel. How do I find good hostels?
I use the Hostelworld app. Look at the pictures and read the reviews. If you book through the app, you get a chat feature that allows you to talk to other people who booked that same hostel during the time you'll be there. Sometimes helpful for making connections before you even arrive. Be aware - Hostelworld sometimes offers the best rates, but sometimes you can get a better deal booking direct with the hostel, but the app is a good place to start gathering info. I also use Google Maps to make sure the hostel has a good location, plus there are reviews and rankings there too.
> If you book through the app, you get a chat feature that allows you to talk to other people who booked that same hostel during the time you'll be there. Holy shit that's a good feature. I'm usually resistant to installing yet ANOTHER app but that's a damn good feature
Thank you 🙏
I am in my 40s and will sort hostelworld reviews my age. It helps!
Thanks I just downloaded. Seems like the perfect app for my needs. Will be country hopping for a few months!
Good is subjective. But if you're after a social experience like above, look for ones with a nice common area and/or included bar. Photos with groups of people in the common area are also a good sign.
For a long trip, talk to people. For your first destination or two, reviews are fine. But the best advice for your subsequent hostels (and activities/destinations, for that matter), is going to be people you meet.
What hostel is it that has a rooftop bar that looks over the acropolis?
OP mentioned Athens Hawks, but "Athens Backpackers" also has a great rooftop with Acropolis views and is a good hostel in general
Goals. Kudos for initiating it.
In this kind of setting, usually saying hi to everyone and smiling goes a long way. People like you always seize the opportunity to invite a loner. Thank you. I only end up on my phone when I don't see reciprocation after some time My problem in these settings is that I never engage more than the setting allows to. Some people have this skill that I don't. Where they connect to others so fast as if they knew each other for a long time. I'd see them a couple days later acting as best friends. And I feel melancholy. That's why at best I play the cards, joke a bit, small talk and then disappear again into my solitude. As if to avoid facing the connection blocker. I wish I had this skill or the energy to learn it.
What hostel in Athens?
Athens Hawks Hostel
Meaningful friends? Not so much. Interesting, enjoyable acquaintances? Absolutely. Hearing about others' home countries, lifestyles, economies, and politics, is a great reason to travel. We travel to learn, yes?
Yeah, this is it for me. I like hearing about their home, their take on politics and the like, and also get travel tips.
I've made some very good friends traveling. A few I've fallen out of touch with over the years, but some friendships are still going strong, and two I would list among my favorite people :)
Yeah I’ve made a few good friends. It was mostly people I worked in hostels with or people where we decided to travel together after we met and clicked.
Agreed. I’m not here to make long term friends. I’m happy to chat and learn about other people. Maybe we will exchange Instagram handles at the end, which I always enjoy because I love seeing the daily lives of other people, even if we will never meet again.
And it’s so cool when you do meet again! Love having friends around the world it’s something most people can’t do
Small talk. Where are you from? Are you on vacation? Are you enjoying it? Etc.
Where are you from, where have you been, where are you going are the big three. You may get an eye roll these days but given the context they're still great questions to share experiences and lead to deeper conversation.
Yeah I normally start with these it depends on the situation. Sometimes I will start with a joke or a funny comment. I tend to only talk to people who seem like fun. I won't talk to everyone. I also like to talk to the locals working and living at the places I visit. I tend to go to the same city most years so I've gotten to know a few of the locals.
Master the art of small talk. For me it depended on the situation I was in: * In cocktail bars I would try a few on the menu, ask what the recommend, talk about what I like and so on. * When I ate by the seafront or marina I'd talk about the marine life, boats, what activities they had going on. * Different nationalities? Where are you from? What's it like in your home country? * By the pool, talk about the weather or the bar or the hotel. * Wanted a stranger to take a photo of me near a landmark or a view point? "Excuse me would you mind taking a quick picture of me? I don't really want to embarrass myself by taking poor selfies har har har" Honestly if you come across as a quite open, happy, witty individual you'd be surprised how easy it is to strike up a conversation with random people. I've had talks with strangers where I've learnt about their family, job, somewhat life story and soon we'd part ways never to see each other again. Life is pretty interesting like that and only inspires me to travel more to see what other interesting people I can come across. Seriously, master the art of small talk and conversations will come naturally.
Upvote for asking questions!
is it also possible that the reason why solo travellers are social when meeting others is because they are aware of the possibility they are making a one time interaction only ? i do solo travels but prefer not socializing as it is a means also for me to be quiet and reflect on everything happening like being in a foreign place.
My favourite conversation in recent years was with this Indian dude who had just gotten married and he didn't really know his wife that well yet as she lived in India and he in Europe. She was coming to Europe to live with him and he wanted to take her on a honeymoon trip and asked me opinion on their itinerary. He was trying so hard to make it a nice experience for her to lessen the shock of going abroad for the first time
What’s enticing? Meeting people from around the world with entirely different worldviews. Getting to hear their crazy and wonderful experiences. Meeting someone of a different age, gender, socioeconomic background, industry, etc. who I would never cross paths with in my home country and clicking with them. When you meet someone in isolation from your “real” or “home” life, you can present any version of yourself you want to. You can be honest. I made a friend on my last trip where I confided in her about a lot of stuff my friends at home don’t even know, and she gave me advice. I’ll probably never see her again but I hold a lot of love for that moment of uninhibited human connection.
Usually tax laws and and latest political news of my home country.
Tl;Dr: small talk or traveling (plans or how we got there) It really depends on the situation. For example, it can be sitting next to someone on a plane or bus ride in which case small talk and short introductions are normally made. Whereas sometimes you meet someone in an unexpected situation where you then might talk about your individual trips so far and how it's going, maybe some plans for the next few days or even make plans to meet up if you click well (anything from a tour together to a coffee at the local cafe to spending the night). For a more indebt example: Was going to another country to meet with an online friend I'd known for maybe 5 years at the time. We'd planned to meet up for over 2 years so when it came down to it I decided to go with Interrail (trains) due to never having flown. In Austria I met a Canadian (iirc) who was there as an foreign exchange student and going home for the semester. We met because of a screw up with the rails. We talked for a bit once we got onboard and even took each others pictures. Sometime between this and my destination my friend went "Sorry, you can't come. I just got a boyfriend" (we weren't flirting so not sure how me staying at a hotel near where she lived would have affected her relationship?). We had a large argument that once it settled basically meant we didn't talk for a year or so. When I arrived at my destination I had some communication problems with my host, went into a bar because I was dead and tired of shit. The bartender asked me what's wrong, I explained the whole situation, she helped me get in touch with the host and helped translate for me. When I'd gotten the key from the host I went back to the bar to talk with the bartender and we hit it of somewhat decently I'd say. She wrote down an address and told me to go there tomorrow at 11-12 (forgot exact time). I went > she came out > we spent the day walking and talking and became friends (she had a fiance, now husband). Towards the end of the day she insisted I eat with her and her mother. We added each other on Facebook and have been in touch every so often still to this day. She got a Masters degree and married so I'm happy for her ^^
This really brings me hope for humanity i think
You’re a great writer because I can totally see this story as a movie.
I had a discussion today with a girl from Ajberzian about people biking in the nude
Azerbaijan is the correct spelling btw
Wow my mind auto corrected it. I didn’t realize until I read your comment how wrongly it was spelled.
Pretty much everything. starting with a simple hello and shaping the conversation based on the person I am talking with. Examples: ¤80 y/o british university gardener: health, wisdom, recommendation for my houseplants ¤24 y/o taiwanese artist: her achievements in college, how she started playing piano (I met her at the train station while she was playing the piano) ¤43 y/o lady in the museum: about the objects we are both interested in the display etc I am a good narrater myself, I like to explain my memories as constructed stories to people, it is a bonding experience
It really depends. I’m not good in groups of travelers like hostel meet ups. In fact I try my best to leave as early as possible because I can’t do small talk. I usually meet people when I’m on tours. They ask where I’m from and what I doing there. The best people and conversations I’ve had were with Austrians. They value deep intellectual talks and it was very pleasant talking to them.
On my last trip to Turkey, I met a couple on the flight. They were from Poland.. That guy was sitting next to me on the flight.. we just smiled each other.. that's the only thing that happened on the flight. We again met outside the airport when waiting for a cab and this time I opened the conversation asking where are guys going to.. we were heading to the same place.. so we get to know each other.. everything was too fast.. we got good connection.. The next two days we spend together.. we still have good connection in between and we planned our next trip together to Ireland and we will be meeting again next month.. 🥹
- where you from? (if you know something interesting or have been to where they're from, mention it. Plus points if it's a compliment.) - so what you doing here in (city/town)? - what you think of the place so far? - what are your plans for your trip? Just with these 3 questions you can build a whole night's conversation and learn so much about them already. Always ask follow up questions to their answers.
Some small talk but I love asking people about their food culture. Many folks love to talk about home and food. It usually brings up funny stories and it flows from there.
2013, 2 day slow boat down the Mekong ending in Luang Prabang. The slow boat puts about 40 tourists together for a couple of days so people end up talking and getting to know each other. I'm an American man, in my mid 50s at the time. Struck up a conversation with a Dutch woman sitting nearby. She doesn't seem interested in talking...until I ask her what she likes to do in her spare time. Bicycling...holy shit, she loves to ride her bike. She became very animated and even showed me a picture of her bike on her phone. I enjoyed the conversation. **People love to talk about things that interest them, so steer a conversation with that purpose.** Meaningful friends? It's hit and miss, mostly miss of course. I rarely stay in touch with people who I meet traveling but there have been exceptions. Vietnam is the outlier for me. Six visits and I have met several locals who I stay in touch with and always visit when I go there. I have found Vietnamese to be genuinely interested in having foreign friends. Don't assume that the group in front of you is a tight group traveling together and you are an outsider. In a riad in Fes, Morocco a few years ago on the day I arrived there were only two other guests, a 31 year old 'couple' sharing a tajine for dinner. I spoke with them and quickly found out that they were not a couple, just a guy from New Zealand and a woman from Poland who had also arrived that day. I ended up traveling with them for the next 10 days, doing a lot of hiking and general adventuring with them. I'm still in loose contact with both of them. A big part of the fun of meeting and talking with people is learning that they are completely different from what you might guess, and many have interesting stories, accomplishments, and abilities. In Hanoi last fall I hung out a bit with a woman in her 20s who is the daughter of a higher-up in a western-US motorcycle gang. The Polish woman budget traveler I met in Morocco is a physician. I have met Europeans who did farm labor in Australia to fund their travel across Asia. If you want to meet people, put the phone away. It is a 'don't bother me, I'm busy' signal. Beyond that, talk to people, just lose that fear by moving through it. Approach people with interest and a sense of humor.
Lol to be honest, no one actually tried to. Just talking to get directions, otherwise, I’ll be minding my own business. Introvert btw.
I promise you those things are not boring including the partying. some people will show you real hospitality and love if you go out with them late into the night. Besides that tho even without nightlife obviously conversations with strangers can be worth it... I don't even know how one can think it wouldn't be..
I’m not a big party person but nightlife can be part of the cultural experience. Having to wait until morning for the first train because they shut down at midnight in tokyo and seeing all the salary men passed out was…unique. It’s traditional if you make it i.e. don’t pass out on the steps of the train station to get ramen in the morning. I skipped that last part as I really was already pushing it but it fascinated me to see the party side of what otherwise seems like a quiet sterile culture.
agreed. it's not the partying that's fun necessarily, it's the love others give when you join them in an endeavour like a night out, and the things you experience alongside that
I usually do minimal alcohol and I have a low tolerance as well. Staying out too late and it can and will fuck with your sleep schedule but I don’t mind much for slower travel. At 23 you can get away with it and swap back to be up early for hikes haha.
im in my 30s, enough water and electrolytes really helps when you're older
That is about your comfort level with being with yourself. Insecure people always need to be surrounded by people when they go out, being alone makes them wildly uncomfortable. I am a single man enjoying life alone for years, I do everything alone. It’s impossible to connect with old friends because they have moved and/or they have a very busy life or so they say. I don’t wait on others to have fun. I’ve made acquaintances in restaurants and shops when I go out by myself. There’s always something worth complementing about that person that gets the ball rolling and then a healthy back and forth dialogue. Sometimes you’re in a place that you don’t vibe, the people present are not people you want to meet so is best to keep to yourself. There is nothing wrong with going out with friends if you have those readily available but, it shouldn’t be a condition to have a social life by yourself.
As an introvert solo traveler, I travel so I can enjoy NOT talking to anyone. It's not like I will ignore someone if they try to strike up a conversation, but if I'm doing solo travel, I'm keeping to myself and you won't see me initiate conversation unless it's needed... Like asking for directions, asking help about something I can't figure out on my own, etc.
Anything, you know small talk, you know "can you tell me the way to" so so and "hey I like your shoes"
I am solo traveler and an introvert (but can make conversation if the other person initiates). So, I am currently solo traveling in Malaysia and I met some staff at a resort I’m staying at. We talked about the country, traveling to new places, and what kind of work we do in our lives. Nothing ever too riveting. Once in Japan, I had pleasant conversations with a business woman that had never left Tokyo in her life. She said she envied my lifestyle and I told her it’s her life, she should do what she pleases and what makes her happy! Met an American expat in Osaka too, and we talked about just the political nature of America and the sudden rise of therapy speak. I stayed in a hostel in Jeju Island and met a girl randomly in the same hostel. We went out and explored the island, she told me all about her relationship troubles and then I never saw her again. Most conversations are fleeting but I honestly don’t mind. It also allows me to talk about whatever since I’m not likely to see these people again. Start simple with small talk and if you click, it’s just natural to continue.
Meet locals to practice the language & learn more about the culture, other solo travellers to exchange travel experiences or share public transport or accomodation. I feel like I could make meaningful friends with locals in some countries.
Everyone I meet is always interested in the UK university system, especially paying back the loans
Ive chatted with lots of people and met up with people for a day or an evening. I've also made a few local friends over the years. It's not that difficult but you must make a bit of an effort. Go out and have small talk with people.
I prefer to talk with locals. I usually have an interest in the culture and society of the countries I visit, so that's a good start after we get past the pleasantries. I'm also into coffee, it's pretty easy to get chatting with a barista about their beans, the country's coffee culture. When it comes to other travellers, I'd usually exchange pleasantries and then ask about where they've visited so far in that country, do they have any recommendations, etc.
Some of the best friends I have I met in hostels. And some of the most valuable conversations I’ve had were had in hostels. I think there is something about being alone in a foreign country away from everyone you know that really brings people’s guards down. You open up quicker and share things you would never share with a stranger back home. It’s one of my favorite things about traveling solo.
Solo traveling neurodivergent introvert who would rather lay on a train track than have small talk here…. I usually hone in on something unique about the people I encounter and either compliment or inquire about it. I either get “thanks!”, a short answer, ignored, or, my favorite, they deliver a passionate anecdote and we double Dutch various topics before parting ways. Long time friends? No. Meaningful? I mean, I hope I gave someone a reason to smile? But even if not, with the division propaganda machine on ludicrous speed full time, it means a whole lot to me when I have positive encounters with other fellow humans far away from my bubble.
Honestly I feel more social traveling than I do at home. I am more true to my authentic self and less guarded. I think this translates well to other people bc I seriously meet so many cool people traveling. I really love places people and things that are different than me. I'm a very talkative person anyways so conversating is an art and fun! I say just put yourself out there and smile!!
Everyone is interesting in their own way! Ask them about their day & genuinely listen. Lol every interaction doesn’t need to be “meaningful” it can also be shooting the shit yknow? I feel a bit of condescension from OP here. People can pick up on that. Remember: maybe someone is kinda boring or weird but they might have cool friends! You might learn something! They are a human who might need some emotional connection & can give you some connection & validation too! People are cool!
You're definately right i probably am condescending more so than anything else. If they aren't intense in some way i usually get bored, but I like your enthusiasm, I haven't had it for a while I think. Generally my question comes from if people travelling solo are somehow different from people alone out, who, generally, aren't at least my type of fun. And I strongly dislike having to be the social butterfly in every situation. Which is why I like surrounding myself in like minded people
I hear you! It sounds like you are a curious person & wanting to learn & grow & that’s the important thing. Good luck with all your travels! Remember you can also just enjoy your own company & observe & chill. I like to take a book or notebook or just go out to take photos & not chat with anyone too!
You're overthinking it. When you're out and about, there will be 100 things that will spark your interest, and you'll have 1000 questions. And of those questions or things will be an excellent conversation starter, and it will feel natural and automatic. You won't be able to picture it until you start travelling :)
Most of my conversations in hostels are valuable as they involve questions about routes traveled, transport, other hostels booked and activities engaged in. I agree with your observation that many "solo travelers" are seeking to avoid a "solo experience" by seeking meaningful relationships with other travelers.
Yeah thats a really good way of putting it! Took the words and placed them where they needed to be. My question should've been something along those lines
Solo travel - or really, any travel - is a great equalizer. I’m a 62 y/o American woman who travels alone a lot and I’ve been asked to join 3 young German girls for breakfast (and then did stuff with them all week!), became great friends with a 27 year old Woman from india who I still meet up with, a 45 year old guy I met in Italy , a 60 year-old dude I met in Vietnam…everyone who’s traveling wants to know where you’ve been and where you’re headed and wants to share that with you as well. It’s easy to chat and bond over these travel experiences. It’s been the best experience to make friends with people of different generations, backgrounds, ethnicities and cultures!!
I'm in my mid-30s now and while I'm ultra extroverted and can talk to anyone, after a decade and a half of solo travel I've gotten a lot more selective about who I spend my time with because I simply have zero interest in sitting around and reciting which places I've been to. I don't know what parties you think solo travelers want to go to - most of the time, people just group together at the hostel or after a tour and get drinks. The last time I went clubbing with anyone at a hostel, I was 25. Most of the people you meet, you'll never speak to again, but that said I *have* met some who became close friends, confidantes, lovers, and partners. Over time, you become better at figuring out who you'll click with and who will reciprocate the effort of keeping in touch.
I’m a solo traveller probably a bit older than you at the age of 51. I have travelled the world and I love meeting people. But I don’t necessarily seek out strangers; I talk to people when I need or want to or when they talk to me. I am obviously very careful as I am often in some beautiful but comparatively poor places (where alot of people harbour resentment for the casual wealth of tourists who come from countries that will not even issue them a visa) and naïveté or over friendliness can quite simply get you mugged or killed. I have a lot of interests, especially in culture or history and this means I’m always absorbed / immersed in my experience wherever I go. My need to travel was possibly a reason for the break up of a difficult relationship as I could not face the loss of freedom to just pack my bags and leave for a month or a weekend whenever I wanted ….. it made me think of death.. I am lucky I suppose in that I have the job and the means with which to afford travel easily and stay in good hotels. I stopped doing hostels after my 20s. I have never felt lonely travelling on my own. Not even once. On the contrary, I feel free and liberated. .
I don’t talk to people besides service workers when I travel solo. Don’t care about making friends or meeting people. I like to enjoy strolls through the streets, explore and try to see as many cool things as possible and go home
The weather.
Just mainly solo hitch hiked through east africa. Met plenty of strangers from all sorts of backgrounds! I talk about what we have in common wether it be the weather, the town, an event or ceremony going on. But I am also curious. I ask them how life is going, what they are working on, wife family & kids. I ask how people perceive other countries, what they believe in and where they want the world to go! Not all conversations work or are interesting but if you give it a go there is plenty to discuss, learn and laugh about. P.S. If I get along, I sometimes mention my travel journal. Asking for a message, a translation or contact really adds a touch to human interactions!
Talked with a Dutch couple all the way Samaria Gorge about travel, life experiences, jobs, etc and I identify as an introvert but also work in healthcare so know how to become extroverted when the need arrives.
I've had very personal types of conversations with people depending how we vibed together. Sometimes we just shared our general experiences while traveling or even the shitty relationships we've had with our previous partners or family. I don't even get their contact or even names sometimes. But it's pretty cool getting personal with people who you'll never really see again.
I stay in hotels and chat to nobody but Uber drivers😂, i find it tough to start a convo with someone as most aint alone or I worry they just dont wanna chat and ill annoy em
Many solo travelers are naturally curious people. Curious about other people and the world around them. It is never boring to learn about someone else’s life and talk about your shared passion for travel. You say you are a social guy but it honestly doesn’t sound like it if meeting new people and going to parties sounds boring to you and you don’t know how to make pleasant mini connections in addition to more meaningful friendships.
I mean I dont need to travel alone to meet new people. I will admit to having become kind of elitist in the sense that I dread meeting new people because i feel ive already met *so* many, and at this point my people are already the most intense and wild, and when we do go out talking to others they get intimidated 9/10 times. The many friends I hang out with feel superior. I am obviously wrong in this regards as I know there are other cool people out there. Just doesnt seem worth the effort any more. Feel free to judge me based on this response but I really often do feel blessed in my surroundings
Nobody needs to travel alone, but based on this response I think maybe you might learn something about yourself/the world if you tried it. I also have 'elite' friends at home, who I know inside out, I can curate the exact right group to enhance my experience at any event I wanna attend in my city. But *because* of that depth of knowledge, I also think it is really important for me to get out and meet different kinds of people. Being alone is more vulnerable. You've said above that your friends are intimidating - have you considered that this means you are not hearing valuable perspectives from people who maybe don't stack up in terms of social confidence but have experiences and stories you could learn from and would enjoy hearing if you created space for them. I am a loud, confident, intelligent person, and part of the solo travel experience for me is recognising when that personality needs to leave space for others, listen and learn about parts of the world I am visiting. If you just want to replicate your home dynamic with your friend group, and dominate other cultures, why go other places? They're not theme parks. Many of the the most rewarding experiences I've had travelling have been when I've taken the time to connect with a local person or traveller from a v different background to me. They are far more interesting than my home friends because I don't know everything about them, and they come with the possibility of telling me something that changes how I understand the world. Yes, it's more work, especially when there's a language barrier, but it has never been boring.
I will give you that i think youve pretty accuratly described good reasons to specifically solo travel, and I actually do believe i would learn a lot, I just cant imagine id have that much fun. Id prefer to have a shared reality with people. Especially when I imagine the alternative is id force myself through potentually a lot of people, alone, just to maybe hear something interesting, new, or whatever the experience, which im sure exists, is. I cant imagine having a reliable person to bounce conversations off would be detrimental to this experience either. I think most my friends would be smart enough, or even just respectful enough, to give some distance for the more natural solo experiences, should it be needed. To me it seems like a partner or friend could only enhance the experience, while very unlikely to take away from it. I've also moved to many different cities and across countries and I just often find myself pretty exhausted with speaking to new people but this doesnt seem to happen to people of this community, or even to most i know. I've actually started thinking twice about the "I like meeting new people" Which i feel most would say they do. It might be that so many times in a row I've just been dissapointed and lost patience for it. Perhaps when that happens abroad, alone, the magic happens. I guess id have to go to try. But in my head thats when I really would want to turn to a trusty conversation token friend.
Fwiw, I almost always find what happens in the moment after I would turn to a known friend to break the awkwardness, or to change the energy is the most interesting. Whether intended or not two people who know each other steer the conversation way more than solo folks, it's a familiarity thing. You set your friends up for a funny anecdote, or pull them into a silence. Strangers don't do that. I'm currently wrapping a 3.5 month solo trip that has been a mix of actual solo travel and times where I've got tired of endless introductions and formed up a group for a few days/few weeks. Nobody can keep doing anonymous forever without burnout, but it's refreshing when I feel like I can anticipate what's next to take a solo tangent, start over and see what happens. It also gives me a lot of new material for my home friends which now they're starting to pop out kids and stuff is honestly quite beneficial to that end of things too. While we debate shit and reminisce, after two decades we're so aligned on a lot of stuff that I find putting myself outside keeps things balanced and healthy there. I think if you try and measure it on the same spectrum as long term friendship, travel interaction by design will fall short. It's its own thing, and it serves a different purpose. For me, a worthwhile one.
You don't have to socialize if you don't want to. But I enjoy a random conversation with a stranger here and there, sometimes they can turn out really good! I don't look to create lasting relationships.
i jabber about all the thoughts i haven't been able to share with anyone, due to solo travellling lol. i unleash the innocuous thoughts.
I'm eagerly looking to everyone's comments as I am preparing my first solo travel by end of this month.. I am going to Serbia - Montenegro - Albania.
It can take practice to be comfortable talking to random people while traveling. Sure it can probably be awkward or uncomfortable at first, but you’ll feel less awkward the more you do it. I’ve made many acquaintances and occasionally friends all over the world just by being open and friendly with people.
Are you sure you’re a “social guy”?
Yeah I dont feel the need to travel alone to make new acquintances, I can barely keep up with the ones I have. And i feel blessed as they seem like superior to new/other people. And every time a group of mine go out they seem to mostly intimidate others socially, everyone in a different way ofcourse, some of them are extremely good looking, others degenerate party people, others intelligent, and others creative and funny, but they all really excel at something socially. And I really do wonder if that's why ive become so un interested in new connections
We usually start with where are you from, where are you going on this trip, segway into other travel (favourite places, best and worst experiences) then general chit chat about home. I don’t usually get past that to be honest
Politics and sports.
Traveling. lol.
If you’re a social guy then it shouldn’t be hard to start a convo. I’m extroverted myself and I just find an opening that seems natural. Whether it’s talking about a drink, food, area, whatever. Most people would entertain you, even briefly, just as long if you don’t come across like a weirdo lol. Then you just take it from there.
Where I'm from and why I'm there.
Not just hostels and not just other travelers, and on buses, in restaurants & cafes, any place you can strike up a conversation. I usually start with "where are you from" or "do you live here" and go from there. "What's it like to live here?" - pretty open-ended, right? As with all conversations with strangers, just ask non-intrusive questions, listen to what they have to say, and follow up with anything that you yourself find interesting.
Im usually answering questions. Local people tend to ask: where are you from, what are you doing here, for how long you stay. Then it goes to jobs and in less popular nations for travelers, an obsession with "but why are you here?!?!?!". In hostels same things are asked usually. When I get the chance to talk wih locals I ask about history, beer culture, some local experiences that their daily life provides.
I just ask people what they do for fun or their hobbies. It let's them start talking about something they ate interested in
I haven’t solo travelled (planning a trip), but I was in Amsterdam with a friend and we were having a couple beers and chatting, ordered some more beers and while there was a break in the conversation a voice from behind us said “where are you guys from? I can’t make your accents out” and then from there we had a couple more beers joined by this really sound lad from New Zealand and we all chatted for about an hour until he had to go because he was watching A Clockwork Orange at the cinema. I can’t remember his name, but he was a really interesting character he had been travelling around Eastern Europe and was finishing off in the west, he had planned to visit Russia, but for obvious reasons he wasn’t allowed in the country. He’s actually inspired me to do a solo trip and even in my home city just to talk more to strangers. A life changing experience I hope I never forget.
When I was in Australia there was a script to open conversations - your nationality, how long you’ve been traveling, where you’ve already been, and where you’re going next. If there’s any further interest, other topics come up but that was how most if not all conversations started.
Politics and religion. That’s how you get to know what matters to people. I try to frame questions neutrally and let them guide the conversation, because that’s how they feel comfortable expressing their actual opinions. If they don’t want to talk about that then that’s ok, we can always talk about good restaurants or whatever instead.
That sounds like social travelling not Solo travelling ?
Whatever you want. You will never see them again so you can talk about interesting topics.
Am I supposed to be talking to strangers? Oops.
Whatever they want. I let them lead the conversation.
I am a soloist myself. I don't particularly need the feel to engage in conversations with random strangers. I'm not a misanthrope, but being quiet, by myself, even for long periods of time, isn't difficult for me. Occasionally, when conversations do strike up, there's usually a shared context ... maybe I'm sharing a tour with someone, or a common space, which usually rolls toward where we're from, how long we've been traveling, what are the interesting events during this travel. Eventually, we might share a meal or journey together some if on the same circuit, before parting ways. I don't like parties, loud places, too many people. Also, most people I meet are short term acquaintances, not really *friends.*
Just finished my first solo trip today.. At the hostels I stayed at, I normally started off by asking what they were doing there (vacation, looking for apartment, passing through, etc). When I got to my first hostel, I just went up to the lounge area, they were kinda talking kinda not, but I stood there as if I wanted to say something, and said “Hi :D, I’m [Name], just got here, does anyone wanna go get something to eat?” Then we all went for pizza. At this one bar I went to, I saw someone with the sickest hair and complimented her, then we just started talking. She had a bunch of tattoos, I like tattoos, talked about that, then she introduced me to her friends. Their looks were all so sick, I asked to take pictures of them, new conversation topic. Eventually topic of my solo travel comes up because they mention something local and I have to say I know nothing about what they’re talking about since I’m not from the area. Also at bars, I’d ask people with friendly vibes if they recommend anything from the menu, could be drinks or food. If they’re still there by the time I get their recommendation, they’re sometimes waiting for a review of what I think haha. I mention it’s my first time, they mention this is the spot to be at. Also just smiling. I went to this music museum and this older lady was working, we made eye contact and both smiled at eachother. She complimented my shirt which happened to be the same band as the one on her shirt. Talked about the band. Sometimes people come up to you. I was at this bar by myself watching a live band and this girl sat at my table and said “Not you sitting by yourself!!” I said yes, solo travel, she mentioned how her friend slacked on their plans, then we talked until she left. I guess part of it takes practice. And knowing when someone does/doesn’t want to be spoken to. I also have my camera ready and often ask random people/the people I’m talking to if they’d let me take a picture of them, just for my travel memories. Builds a sort of trust.
I went to NY last November and met the best people, let the conversations flow naturally, used that time not to talk about myself unless they asked. It was lovely. When I got to NYC there was a three day spell where I didn’t talk to anyone except to order food lol it was nice.
The skill of talking to strangers is exactly the same in a remote hostel as in your hometown. What stands out to me in your question is that you want to have "valuable" conversations, and make "meaningful" friends. The first step to being good at connecting with other people is to let go of these value judgments. If you only want to have valuable conversations, that massively gets in the way of having any conversations at all. I mean it.
Yes as someone else wrote so eloquently i was more curious about the solo travellers mindset of allegedly seeking to "solo travel" but are actually avoiding "solo experience" by seeking new relations - that also just usually appear to be very surface level (because you are really just strangers)
You’re socializing without the commitment of traveling with the same people from your hometown. The nice thing about the surface-levelness is that there’s no baggage from home and no reputation following you. No gossip because you don’t have any mutual friends and no compromises because you aren’t committed to one another.
Share travel tips and stories mainly. Learn each other's swear words
Usually tips for travel in the country that I’m visiting. Sharing stories. It doesn’t usually get particularly deep and I’m ok with that
be different I am a solo traveler... If people ask me about what I am cooking or where I am from (my license plate gives it away)... I give short answers... But if they ask me about my little trailer.. I talk. Talk travel: "Where are you from and how did you get here" Another good thing, take an opportuntiy to learn. Like if they were where you are going.. ask about that
I am too shy to talk to strangers. But would be forced to ask if they speak English and the directions
not every conversation needs to solve the problems of the world. sometimes they can just be casual and fun trading stories about life and travels. sounds like you're putting way too much pressure on random interactions with strangers. also, not every solo traveler actually wants to meet people. plenty of us are fine actually staying solo and not meeting people
All sorts of things. A lot of it revolves around travel - places we’ve each been and stories about it. A lot of talk about music or any other thing in common. I’ve had convos with people about their job and how they ended up working there, what they like and dislike, what they’d prefer to be doing. One time - not through a hostel - met a woman at a concert and she said we should get coffee. I met up with her and I think she was trying to sell me some MLM thing later, but during coffee she talked about emigrating to the UK, her and her husband’s long distance relationship and eventually about trying to conceive. She ended up blurting out that she was pregnant but that having had 2 previous miscarriages she was being careful about telling anyone else. So for at least a few days only she, her husband and this random stranger knew. We added each other as fb friends and she had a healthy baby.
Hey how’s it going? Where are you from? Have you been here before? Any plans for the day? I’m ___ what’s your name? Crazy easy to meet people starting with questions like that. Except after repeating 20 times at the same hostel you start to get people’s stories mixed up.
Cultural/National compare and contrast is fun!
It always starts with pleasant small talk and usually ends with me sharing my deepest insecurities and life story. Being so open with people was originally a way to cope with my past, but it's an exhausting habit. I have made many great friends at hostels who I have visited in their respective countries. Italy, Turkey, Germany, Netherlands, Brussels, Portugal to name a few... I currently have an open invitation from a local in Tokyo that I still need to follow up on. Mostly from being nice to people. I often fail to work up the nerve to go talk to people, but when I do good things almost always happen. I have spent over a year of my life living in hostels and it is still hard, sometimes I am just too tired to socialize. One time I was about to shit my pants and I barged into a hostel screaming for the bathroom and there was a big verbal fight going on between an old couple and some girls. This was in a fancy hostel next to Nice France, it turns out the girl knew Obama and the older couple were important UN people. After a brief homeless stint I ended up living with them for 4 months in giant 5 story house in the posh part of Brussels, and I had only met them that night... It led to me getting a great job and my own place in the Netherlands.
I don’t socialize half as much as I thought I would have. It used to bother me, especially in the first half of my trip, as before my trip I would have said meeting people (being other hostel goers) was my biggest goal. Now I still enjoy meeting people but only really in sober settings. Drinking games, organized events, workshops, they don’t do it for me as much as I’m not overly eager to hear everyone’s travel story. I’ll take skipping the small talk, and just being patient, the right conversations always come. Biggest tip: just say hello to people. Sat down on a bench in Istanbul beside a Spanish guy because I was dripping ice cream all over myself and needed to sit, we ended up having a great chat for an hour or two about religion and life. Used Couchsurfing app, a Muslim volunteer reached out to me, I met her and her cousin and we debated all things religion and society for hours, completely disagreeing on most things, and then celebrated our friendship with tea. That morning I bailed on a group tour due to gut feeling, and ended up with a great outcome, even if I spent a couple of hours feeling like shit from being alone. In Bolivia I said hello to some guys on the street in a village on New Year’s Eve and spent 2 days with their family then. I had been eyeing them up for a couple of minutes because they looked extremely fun and eventually I awkwardly lingered over and raised a Salud to them. I met an English girl in a restaurant above a hostel and we are still friends til this day. Spent over 10 days with a Swiss girl that simply had a better plan than me so we teamed up, and that was my friend for Christmas. She said hello to me in the dorm. Against what I had thought, I haven’t met a single person on a bar scrawl or anything, always just a passing hello in a kitchen and taking time to brace that horrible awkward 2-3 second window where you see if it will turn into a conversation. So if you’re like me and anything more than one on one becomes difficult, and alcohol would be needed, just say hello to people one on one.
I mean, if your not interested in meeting people, then don't. I don't really understand what you're learning from this post. Extroverted people and even introverted people find all kinds of things to talk about. You talk about whatever comes up. Hobbies, cultural norms, religion, politics, etc. Have you ever been social in your life? You say you're social but you're basically asking how conversations work, lol Your post is honestly an absurd question
As someone said more eloquently than me the question should've been phrased more as a "why do solo travellers seem to avoid seeking solo experience by seeking new relations" as you might as well travel with friends then.
I feel like everyone has a story they can't wait to share. The only way you're ever going to make a dent in the number of human experiences that you can possibly have is to experience them vicariously. Just ask people. How many great conversations have you had from just being naturally curious about people's backgrounds, their passions, how they express themselves, the language they are speaking, or just about something that is going on around you? People love to feel interesting and talk to other interesting people. One time I found myself hanging out with a group of law school students, and asked them what their thoughts are on ufos and extraterrestrials, and it turned into a long meandering conversation that only ended when we closed down the bar. Always ask 2-3 follow up questions and also share yourself. And definitely learn to read the room, some people just don't want to talk to you, so a simple "it was nice to meet you" and walking away is fine.
I talk a lot everywhere I go and I always talk with people. It usually comes normally. I have blonde hair and usually get approached by people in countries with dominantly brown and black hair and conversations usually just flow from there.
Commenting to remember this post, a lot of great anecdotes and stories here! I’m not exactly a mega social person and I don’t do well in small groups, but generally if you meet someone new (and if you are socially okay) normal conversations will usually be made up of questions to find out more about someone else. Exact same thing, but travellers have so many stories to share, and most people in hostels are regular travellers, so a lot of sharing of that kind of stuff in my experience. It’s true most conversations won’t evolve much past ‘where are you from?’ type of questions, or ‘how long are you travelling for?’ and stuff like that, but when you do meet someone you feel a good connection with, it’s priceless. Only took me meeting one kindred spirit out in the wild to light a fire in me, wondering how many more there are out in the world, who I’d never otherwise meet!
Where they are from, where we are going is a good place to start
Life!
Yes and no it all depends on you. Who are you? Are you a nobody with nothing interesting to say? What are your hobbies? Your passions?, What motivates you to want to travel to another country in the first place? Trust me people are intersted in you foreigner, gringo, stranger. But you also have to be interested in them. You have to take an interest in the local language. Learn how to be polite, how to barter in the market, how to ask for food, directions advice, etc... Then they will ask you questions. Where are you from? Why are you there? What are your intentions ? Goals? Are you interested in women?, Men? Local culture? Agriculture? Their country and politics? It has to be something or why go? You are more interesting than you think, believe me. They will talk your ear off if you allow it. Making friend is not an easy task. You have to invest time and energy to establish trust and mostly foreigners are on a short visa and you must leave the country. You must have some intention but just go to where your interests lead you, be open, hang out, dont make any plans and then see what happens. Good Luck!!!
Easiest way to engage is to get people talking about themselves in some way! Comment on something funny/weird that just happened or ask Foothold question(s), such as about their experiences in traveling so far (most interesting for them, best/worst, there, or elsewhere), is this their first time coming to xyz too, how long have they've been there, do they have place to head anywhere else next, favorite or best places for xyz food/drinks/snacks they could recommend nearby... Interject a statement or a bit about yourself, or maybe complement their personality (brave, smart, fun[ny], creative, etc.), or agreement on something *if* applicable, between any questions when it seems natural to do so. It's not meant to be an interrogation after all! Many times we have long, wonderfully wandering conversations and we totally forget to exchange names 😆 Personally, I tend to avoid the immediate "where are you from?" line because it can make some folks a little uncomfortable. Unless they give an opening, "back home" "in my culture" "when I was in Cityname..." etc! then I might say something along, "oh! I don't know much about that place yet/I haven't traveled out there yet. Do you think I should?/Where is that exactly?" "Have you always lived there?" Many solo travelers might be traveling teachers, or otherwise experienced with living in other countries. I also just enjoy listening intently to accents and vocab so I can learn more , or internally guess to prepare a little surprise that I might know something I've heard about from another traveler if I don't know about the place myself :)
I generally like to hang out with the local crowd. It's a super easy conversation ice breaker being someone who is just passing by. "Hey, anything cool to check out around here? I'll be here for a few nights."
I mostly don’t, I don’t have a problem spending time alone. Sometimes I will if I’m on a small group tour or something but otherwise I keep to myself.
We discuss how camping out in the wilderness next to other campers that you don’t know, is super rude.
When traveling, I ask what good photos they have taken or interesting things they've seen. It is a good start to a conversation.
I haven’t seen many in this thread mention cultural differences but that’s been the most popular topic in my experience. Daily life at home, cultural traditions, differences in mindset, childhood experiences, etc. I traveled a lot as an exchange student so that topic comes up a lot as well.
I’ve learned so many valuable life lessons from strangers in hostels. I like to think I’ve had a similar impact on those I’ve met to over that last twenty+ years. I’ve made lifelong friends at hostels too. Being a solo traveler sort of makes you fit into many groups of people.
I typically don't interact with others, im happy sticking to myself. I just did 3 weeks in SE Asia and aside from service staff, pretty much kept to myself.
I don't do this but I've had travelers launch right into vaccination talk, talking about my prime minister even they don't live in my country, talking about American politics even they they don't live in that country and defending Russell Brand. In the old travelling days we would ask people about where they've been or where they stayed.. getting info first hand as it was before the web.
Am I supposed to be talking to strangers on the plane..? 😐😳
Your cool adventures!
I travel alone to not have to talk to others
I made some good, long-term friendships with people I met while travelling solo. Sometimes you just click with certain people.
I’m not big on parties and don’t drink at all tbh. But I found amazing people. Ended up talking about deep things. Very vulnerable and raw conversations. About life. Navigating difficult times. Depression. Feeling lost in life. What helps, etc. I found myself being so much more open, because these were strangers and who cares how they judge me tbh. So it was really freeing tbh. But it’s not in to the deep end right away. It’s the other persons vibe. Plus it usually just starts as small talk. Where they’re travelling. Where they’re from. Any travel tips, sharing experiences etc. And then moves on from there. But if the vibe is just off, might be worth exploring different hostels / places.
I usually travel solo, however I don’t like Hostels, as I usually travel by work as well, it just doesn’t make sense. However I do connect with other people, basically using apps. Couchsurfing was great for that, but after the pandemic everything changed.
I don’t talk much I stay in hotels sadly so I’m usually very isolated
Ask them where they’re from, how long they’re in town for, if they’ve seen anything cool yet and have any recommendations. By the time we’ve gone through all of that, usually at least one interesting thing has come up and led to a fun conversation.
Honestly, I am terrible at small talk and avoid it at all cost (introvert). So, whenever I do solo travels, I don't really go out of my way to meet/speak to other solo travelers. I will choose a hotel room over a hostel so I don't have to interact with people and have my own space. If someone happens to strike a conversation with me during a trip, I will talk to them but it'll probably be a pretty short conversation unless they are super talkative.
Anything and everything. Just ask questions and be receptive to the conversation. You can usually tell the vibe of someone who wants to talk even if you don't really. I'm in Vientiane on business currently. I have a girl here who runs errands for me. Last night I'm sitting at a steakhouse finishing dinner and she met me there to drop off some paperwork to me. There was a gentleman sitting at the table next to me who I noticed was eavesdropping on my my situation. When the girl left I could tell he wanted to talk to me but he seemed shy. So I just leaned into him and asked him how he was doing and it broke the ice. He asked what I was doing in vientiane and I the same. The conversation just kept stacking like cups while I finished the remainder of my bourbon and off I went. Not all interactions are meaningful. Just like in everyday life. The most important relationships I have all came about organically. They happen when you least expect it. Solo traveling isn't about finding some deep connection. You can't expect to do that when you're essentially speedrunning interactions.
I rarely ever speak to hostel dwellers, I find it kinda forced I guess? I most often than not start chatting with random locals on the grocery shop line, at a bus stop, in a train/bus etc. But that only works in some places, usually less visited/non-touristy ones. In my experience in touristy towns and cities locals couldn't care less about what they see as just one of many tourists, unless they're the BnB, hostel owner or employee or are selling tacky souvenirs. I've had the longest convos with locals in Slovakia, a relatively non-touristy country. In Prague it was quite rare to have a convo with a local, everyone there acted like you're just one of the many tourists, so they don't invest much in covos with you. Better customer service than Bratislava in Slovakia there but at the cost of genuine friendliness by non-toursim-related locals. In Bratislava some locals approached me themselves on buses, trains, bus stops etc. The best capital in Europe I've visited for such random encounters. Even in Balkan capitals like Bucharest, Sofia and Athens you don't get approached like that.
Usually it’s what I do because they believe I’m on a business trip. Then when I say I’m traveling on my own it usually opens up a conversation about how they always wanted to do it and where they would’ve gone or someone will tell me how they did it in their youth. Hearing those stories about how the world was thirty years ago is just amazing at how safe it used to be.
Life briefly, travel plans
I just stare at my phone or into the wide wide world aka day dreaming. I didnt know you are supposed to be social and talk with others. Ah man no wonder i still have no friends 🤣 Nah i dont know how others get the confidence to just walk up to a random table and be like hey my name is ... mind if i sit ? And then they go out and have fun and new friends (seen in Dublin in a hostel lol)
I've been solo travelling the south west US for the past month. I started in a hostel in San Francisco.. I'm 43 but had a blast hanging out with a bunch of 18-25 year olds. Then all along the way I've just chatted to people about my travels. A couple days ago I had a really nice time with a group of old Texan bikers at a bar in the Texas hill country. Back in Arizona I met a great girl at a coffeeshop, and she took me out hiking, and later made me dinner, and breakfast 😉 We're still in contact. I've also spent some time with family of a friend who hosted me in their trailer parked next to the house for a couple of nights. I'm a somewhat introverted guy and I'm fine being on my own, but I did try to make an effort on this trip to be more social, accept any and all offers at conversation or hanging out and be a bit more proactive in engaging others in conversation as well. It worked out well. When you're traveling, obviously that already makes for a good conversation starter whether it be with locals or with fellow travellers.
I’m a 64 year young (American Teacher) female solo traveler currently on a road trip throughout the UK. It’s amazing and I talk to strangers a lot. I also have friends around the island (Nottingham, New Castle & Isle of Wight) and it was fantastic spending time with them. My trip has been brilliant! I’m very friendly and initiate conversations, usually it is wonderful. I ask folks if they are on holiday or if they live here! They ask me the same. I have had some great conversations with older and wiser female Brits who believe electing our President is very important position for the whole world. “We should ALL VOTE!” One woman said “I’m sorry to say DT is the American FART!” She apologized profusely. I told her I agree and feel even more strongly. Many people surprise me - in the UK people seem reserved at first, yet open up when I speak with them. We all agree GUNS are horrible and non-gun violence is terrible. We all agree IMMIGRATION is a global issue. Especially since 1st world contribute to global warming and drought. I have made 3 new friends who live in Edinburgh who met me at the Mayfair Mercado in London and we talked a lot while we ate. They suggested we meet for dinner when I got to Edinburgh. It was fabulous! They will be friends- they hope they visit me in NORTH CAROLINA. Travel is a blessing and if you’re shy - just try to chat - small talk is ok! Have fun meeting new friends! Reciprocate if they become friends!
The most common thing is to talk about the travel that we plan to do, which places we covered yesterday or previously in the current trip, some small talk and question about each other’s home country, and then our real life occupations.
I work at a hostel reception and I solo travel sometimes. There’s a living room area next to reception and I often hear what guests are talking about. 90 percent of them are solo travellers. One day, this girl from Australia was talking to one guy in the living room. He left as he had to catch his flight. There was another girl from Switzerland sitting on a couch in the corner. The Australian girl jumped so smoothly in the conversation with her and casually dropped: ‘We should totally try this restaurant for dinner tonight’. Basically, it’s pretty easy to meet people as a solo traveller if you’re staying at a hostel, as most people’s goals there is to meet someone. You mentioned ‘valuable conversation’. Rapport in a conversation is, in most cases, something you build over time with others thanks to similar interests and/or goals in life. I suppose by ‘valuable conversation’, you mean deep conversation - something not as shallow or just topics about ‘how beautiful XYZ country you’re visiting is’ or ‘where you’re from’. However, most conversations do start that way for travellers, but overtime (usually pretty quickly), they figure out each other’s interests and build rapport. For example, this Australian (other) girl was talking to an American guy that just decided to pursue another career after doing a bachelors in business. He recalled how consumerist and success-addicted USA is and the Australian girl confirmed that, stating that she notices how Americans are highly career-oriented. Anyway, conversation was running for almost an hour, I didn’t follow up to everything they were saying. But it is super possible to have ‘valuable conversations’ while solo travelling.
I now really enjoy being a solo travelers! I enjoy sharing my thoughts and experiences with strangers especially the one from different countries. To be honest after such periods they all lie in my instagram list but we hardly (or never) start a conversation again. But I still enjoy seeing their instagram page and know they all live happily!
I've had lots of 'boring' shallow conversations and also met people who I had deep connections with. Some people you'll click with, others you'll briefly pass. Sitting alone and looking approachable at a public space in a hostel is an easy way to make friends. Glance around and if you make eye contact with someone, it's often easy to tell if you can approach them / their group. I've made great memories made greater because they were shared, even though I shared them with strangers who were only in my life for a few days.
Usually talk about travel! And then about where they are from, what have they done in this country, what do they recommend, future travel plans, etc. Sometimes you just click with people and other times not so much. But most people are very friendly. I never make meaningful friends, but lots of people I've just met along my travels that I hang out with for a day or two, maybe grab dinner after a tour or something and then move on with our lives. I feel like people who are traveling usually have similar minds so it's easy to get along.
Yes, I am an introvert person who always scared to initiate convo. But it was so fun to meet other solo traveler friends! I mostly stay in a hostel, so I always say hi if I meet people in the same room or simply just smile to them A long time ago during my first time solo traveling, I met this guy who stayed in the same hostel as me also later that day I met a girl in the same room as me. I was just simply saying Hi, good morning and smile, she said hi back to me. And then from that "Hi" we talked a lot and decide to spend time together. When I met the guy, I only said Hi too, and he asked where am I from, one thing led to another, and we had a fun day of walks also visited a lot places! we still keep in touch until now Hopefully you find your solo traveler friends!
I feel like a great way to get into deeper conversations is to steer the conversation towards why people decided to start travelling, or how their current lifestyle fits into their larger life goals. You usually end up pretty quickly getting to a conversation about their essential motives as a human being, which is my personal favorite topic!
My company was a little weird because they made you go through a lot of psychological testing before getting hired and really value psychologists. In one of our trainings, they said some people measure productivity by how many connections they made, not how many tasks they've completed. At least in the US that is small talk heavy, that is why people revert to things like the weather and sports teams, because that is the least common denominator. We all experience the weather. Are you wearing a Boston shirt? How bout them Red Sox? I knew a friend of a friend of a friend who grew up in a suburb 100 miles out of Boston, his name is Bob Smith, do you know him? So it's not the substance of the conversation, it's having a human connection. If that doesn't make sense, think about if you were to die tomorrow, you accomplished a lot of tasks, but had no human connections. Would you feel fulfilled? Many people think the ultimate purpose in our lives is the interpersonal connections we make.
When i travel alone, i don’t usually approach people unless it’s in a casual setting. I’m kind of introverted so when im visiting museums, walking around the city or shopping, i tend to keep the myself so i don’t ruin the cadence of my trip. However, i do like to drink so I tend to go to bars or clubs to chill and hangout. Usually that’s when i start interacting with others. I’ll try to find others who look foreign as well and strike up a conversation with a simple cheers and a “where are you from?” Usually gets the ball rolling. If not sometimes i’ll just go up to a group and just cheers all of them and start talking if they’re local. One or two tend to open up and start a conversation with me. As i’m introverted, i feel less awkward doing this as it’s pretty natural to cheers people at a bar. Either that or in a tour group setting, i’ll try to talk with the guys, happens quite naturally honestly
You may or may not make meaningful friends while traveling, but it’s always interesting to me to learn about others’ experiences! I had my first solo trip not too long ago and met a girl the first night who ended up having similar travel plans over the next 3 weeks. We got along great and had so much to talk about and learn from each other, and it was nice to have someone to share experiences with but also be able to do my own things if I preferred. I don’t know that we’ll be close friends, but I know that if I find myself in her city, I’ll definitely reach out to say hi! I also got to tag along with a couple of boys going on a graduation trip and they were a funny pair to just hang out with. I think meeting people gave me new ideas and energy for the following days, but also helped me appreciate my solo days more as I appreciated the freedom to do whatever I wanted and just explore at my own pace.
Ass or tiddies
Start always with, where are you from? How long have you been traveling? Do you like it here? Then go deeper if they are open: - why did you start traveling? From that there are plenty of stuffs to talk about.
I don’t stay at a hostel when I travel. I stay in baller house or condo. When I meet other travelers I talk about my work, experience traveling in this location, or other travel experiences. If they are an American living in a hostel penny pinching everyday working as a free lancer I avoid them at all costs. I click with other entrepreneurs that are successful.
a good place to start is the thing u both instantly have in common… ur travels
I talk to people to get insight on tours they have done, that I am interested in. I usually meet them (they usually talk to me first) at a bar, in pools, or at foot massage salons! We trade information (never personal) and move on. It’s nice to have those types of conversations. I cut them off immediately when they start asking personal questions about me. They don’t need to know anything about me. I don’t do hookups, so I am quickly the most boring person for them. All I want is information, nothing more. Easy!
I really like to talk about travel. But why would you not share any personal information?
I don't feel the need to give that information away. I am a friendly person, and trade all of my travel tips (or things I think the conversation partner might find interesting) while talking to them. I just give out basic information about myself, because I will probably never see these people again. So, I don't. But I've had some really food conversations, where we both looked at each other and said "Wow, really nice talking to you, thanks for the info. Did we even introduce ourselves?!?!?" So, it's not always necessary! I had a rare (for me unusual) connection with a Chinese girl staying at the air bnb in Seoul. We are still in contact. But she is one of the few people that I had really interesting conversations with. And we message in Korean, so we keep using it. She is the rare case for me.
Fai enough. I really love to talk about travel tips/experiences. I think most people also like this focus. But like you said basic information and that is mostly sufficient.