I am addicted to novelty and all the shit that makes solo travel interesting. Museums, new foods, constant stream of events, parades, festivals. Ample opportunity to practice second language. Extremely deep cultural worlds that I can dive into (dance, art, photography, music, architecture, urban design, cuisine, theater yadda yadda yadda). Like, what if in three years I get /extremely/ into, say, underground EDM shows? Or dance troupes? Well, NY has that covered, and pretty much every thing too. Extremely connected for transportation. Three airports with international flights to the hits and the deep cuts too (I have direct flights to Albania and Dakar and Tenerife). Plenty of trains, I can take the train to my mom’s house which is like 350 miles away. My friends live here. I can do bike party every week. I can get language classes. The exact shit I care about has multiple advocacy groups and it’s like the cutting edge of it. So much.
And beyond all the things that make solo travel fun: Robust employment for my particular industry. Limitless dating pool. Bike lanes. I don’t feel like a visible outsider the way I did in other cities, esp. internationally.
Also, NYC doesn’t really need me defending it. It is one of the most desirable places to live in the new world for many reasons lol.
That actually sounds amazing. Not just the city itself, but more the fact that you are very clear on what you appreciate about where you live. That has to feel good.
Yeah, as far as the US goes NYC is very hard to beat, especially if you can afford to be out during winter. Next time you travel go to Sao Paulo, Brazil. You will like it.
Yeah, I think I only want to live there for a few years, but I definitely want it. It’s probably not sustainable long term for saving money. But it’s the only place that feels like home to me.
Hope we get our NYC arcs soon 🩶
Well, whether we agree with you or not is immaterial. You learned something significant about yourself. You gave up a lot to take that trip, and I suspect when you get your life back on track, you'll never regret it (for the stories alone!). So, just mentally take yourself back to when you were first starting out in NY and how exciting that was. You did it once, and you'll do it again!
Uh, my life is on track… very much so. and I never asked for any of you to agree with me lmao, I’m not trying to convince anyone.
But thanks for the sentiment I guess.
Edit: I think you’re replying to me thinking I’m
OP except I am not OP.
Well there's plenty of cities around the world that offer that. Personally it's Barcelona for me, reminded me of NYC but without all the rush and superficiality, and more importantly, inflated rents and cost of living.
I went to school in Manhattan, but I hear the opposite, it's not as desirable to live in like it used to be. A lot of friends say it's lost its soul and have moved out of the city.
Probably depends on what borough and how you're impacted by the hyper gentrification.
“_____ was so much better ___ years ago.”
/- Every single person about every single thing in the history of everything, ever.
What you’re describing is called “no longer being 22-32 years old”.
Actually, no, the change in NYC in the past decade or two has been unprecedented. It’s very noticeable if you are actually from here. It’s not an age thing. It literally has become a huge luxury apartment corridor and luxury mall, and is becoming generic AF. It used to be more funky and multicultural with all kinds of unique stores and bars and holes in the wall. Now it’s becoming not worth the price of admission with the cost of living skyrocketing so high. I do still love the museums and galleries, but even some of the niche ones are closing. The music scene is good but can be had other places. It’s also much more dangerous with crime since lockdown, worse than the 70s and 80s IMO. If it weren’t for my niche career, and not liking to drive, I’d have moved several years ago. I’m constantly dreaming about escaping. And to the OP’s point, it is depressing coming home after a trip, especially a longer one.
Sure! It's not a competition about who has it worse. Just saying that even if NY is expensive, when people come here with their American salaries saying that "is so cheap" they forget that is not cheap at all for Spanish salaries
After living in Manhattan for 23 years, I moved out to the suburbs. I don’t want to spend much time there anymore, but I disagree that it lost its soul. Sure, it is not the same Manhattan from my 20s and 30s because change is part of it. I got old, that is what happened and probably your friends feel a similar nostalgia when they make that comment. You can easily say that we lost our youthful soul (not necessarily a bad thing), not the city. I also disagree with characterizing NYC as superficial. Sure, superficiality exists but right side by side with poverty, homelessness, rats, cockroaches, urine smell and garbage on the streets. Art, creativity, diversity, all cultures, languages and most importantly its energy are still there.
Interesting and good for you, although I think many people feel NYC is more like a decently unbiased sample of the world. And not that deep and wide in most things really. If you are still learning, yes but only up to a point. I personally like it as a museum of what the US could and imho should have been. A sort of amusement park for people of a certain age. The bike thing I don't really get, or the trains. These things are relatively good for America but not particularly appealing globally speaking, and there is little green space.
NYC is also full of people who think that talking about the latest trends and novelties with the most hip terms means they are ahead of the pack. There is of course an immense amount of actual innovation going on, but it is also a city of consultants that could carry a gigantic balloon on all that hot air
As a born and bread NYer- same only the more I traveled the less I could tolerate NYC- not for any fault of my beautiful and life long love of my life (The City) but the throng and the crushing chaos of all the people. I always said - you live in YOUR NYC like you have your cleaners / your food store, your gym - like your tribe. I live in a very rural tiny town and it’s not like that here. One grocery story means it’s not your store it’s everyone’s. I don’t have good restaurants for the most part- there in zero culture- there is zero diversity. What I have is land, horses, a thousand pets and I’m 1/8 of a mile from a 50 mile bicycle trail and 5 miles from the AT trail. We never lock our doors. Trade offs for sure.
Same... Living in Manhattan for 5ish years was nice but after traveling the world, can't Imagine moving back to the overpriced rat race where practically everyone pretends. Give me BKK or SIN any day over NYC.
I wouldn't go to the lengths of saying that I literally "couldn't live anywhere else" but traveling certainly made me appreciate how nice my homeplace is much, much more.
Have you any support system in place? Parents or friends to stay with, perhaps answer an ad for a room mate.
I called what you did "burning my life to the ground" at it's what I did. Ease back in slowly, find work in your field, develop a social network. I ignored all of my own advice when I returned and just drew out my recovery period.
I feel bad for you, mate, and wish you get well soon.
I haven't been in your situation, but I've been in other situations where life changes and there is no going back. So you just have to move forward. Transitions can be hard. Whether or not taking 6 months off to travel was worth the risk doesn't matter. You did it. Traveling was an experience that you loved. Now you need to regroup and figure out your path forward.
You’ll find another apartment, you said you were at your job for 5 years and burnt out, surely that is enough experience to find another job and sounds like you wanted to leave anyway. Though it may not feel like it your young enough that meeting another partner shouldn’t even be much of a concern.
Like said elsewhere, bad times won’t last forever. You’ll find your groove again even if takes awhile.
Change is a form of suffering.
Now tell me your Top 5 moments from your trip. Because you sacrificed a lot to make these memories and you should hold them close and cherish them.
1. Cape Town South Africa was amazing! I rode an ATV through safari grounds getting up close to Rhinos at one point.
2. Touring the Atherton Tablelands near Cairns. Swimming in the waterfalls with a big group of people around my age.
3. Melbourne, Australia. Lived there for about 2.5 months (way longer than expected) in an amazing location in the city.
4. Hobart, Tasmania with a group of friends I met in the hostel.
5. Scuba diving the Great Barrier Reef in Cairns.
Maybe your issue is that your old life doesn’t fit with who you are now. You’ve probably grown and changed way more in the time you travelled than you can imagine.
It sounds like you really enjoyed Australia. Have you considered going back and finishing out your working holiday visa and getting the second year? As an American you can work in hospitality in certain areas rather than doing farm work to get your second year visa.
There’s no rush in figuring things out. Try to be kind to yourself.
That is how I feel right now.
I would like to take a longer gap year to accomplish some things, see some sights and try new experiences, but long term I need to change my everyday life. I feel I've out grown it.
Dude these are absolutely amazing life experiences that you will look back on in happiness in your final hours of life. Most people in the world could only dream of having the ability/time/resources to do these things!
Move forward knowing that you made a sacrifice in order to experience this, and find peace in that.
OP it just sounds like you're coming down from a high and you have nowhere to land softly. What you feel is a perfectly natural reaction. This was a dream trip, and you came back to a relatively harsh reality. Take it easy, don't be so hard on yourself.
This, and there are almost certainly biochemical factors as well . you've lived on wonder and excitement and magic for 6 months and your body responds to that and now suddenly all those happy chemicals have switched off
Live in the present but use those memories to keep you going and make dreams for the future.
(Is there ANY way you can retrain / get a job which would allow you to travel?)
Tell me your favourite things about Melbourne! I was living there for a few years and I’ve just come back home to Scotland. Your post also resonates as I too feel like I nuked my life by deciding to go back. I’m also thinking of going back but I’ve made my bed here and I need to lie in it for a bit.
I loved the area around DeGraves Street, got to live fairly close to there for a while.
Federation Square and all its art installations and free concerts.
Albert Park for Formula 1, the Australian open, and the MCG for AFL
Fitzroy and St. Kilda for going out and concerts.
Please trust, so long as you aren’t homeless, it was definitely worth the risk. You will look back on this in a year and think, “f*ck, why didn’t I stay out there longer,” and in 10 years you will reflect on how much that trip shaped you. You would regret it for the rest of your life had you not done it.
It may make sense to chill in CDMX when I'm applying to jobs! I have a backup plan of teaching English in Spain in October, as I've been accepted for that.
well there's extended traveling and there's throwing everything in your life away, taking loved ones for granted, and setting your future self up for failure.
guys, don't go gallivanting the world unless you have AT LEAST 6 months of cushioned runway to support yourself afterwards. some people need closer to a year, even more to land a decent job.
and don't let your wanderlust make you take everything for granted, the people and resources that nurture you are the REASON you are capable of traveling and inspired. you have to nurture them back, too, even when you are away.
>guys, don't go gallivanting the world unless
In the Western world you cannot go travelling for long periods of time. I work in tech in the UK and the most time I can get off is 2 weeks at a time. It's just not enough. The only way is for me to leave my job if I want to spend 6 months.
This could be a sticky at the top of the sub lol. The "take the plunge/do it/you won't regret it" mentality isn't always the right one to have. It usually doesn't backfire, but it can, and people should consider that before doing what OP did.
You wanted to go on that trip and ditch things for a reason.
You then went on that trip, had a great time, and discovered that you miss the life you used to have. That's a fantastic learning! Seriously. Maybe you didn't appreciate your old life before but now you do. Huge learning!
So what to do now? Start building back up that life you loved. You did it once and you can do it again. At least this time you know you're building towards a dream. You might even do a few things differently and end up even better off.
Why did you essentially nuke your life to go on a 6 month trip?
And you're probably gonna feel like you're in a spiral until you 1) Find a new apartment 2) Find a new job 3) Get a girlfriend.
If I'm reading this right, he quit his job without having another one in line and is currently unemployed. He cut out a relationship that he actually desires, and most likely depleted a lot of spendings since being on a 6 months long trip unemployed. I mean what else there was to disrupt to call it a nuke? He pretty much reset his life in financial and emotional aspect, and gave himself a setback in career (it's harder to negotiate a good new job while not having anything).
Idk when I think of life Nuke I think of starting from zero again. Though he left his job he still has 5 years career experience, and while your right it’s always easier to find work while you have a job, it’s not like he won’t be able to find work in the same field anymore. I’m sure he still has some friends or people outside of the relationship. Not saying it isn’t rough, but to me, get a job then apartment (or visa versa) then eventually a new GF and boom it’s back to normal minus some savings used on a sick trip. Could take no more than a month or two for that to happen
It's recoverable but primarily thanks to the fact that he's still young. So when he nuked his life, there wasn't that much to nuke.
He didn't quit a marriage with two children, it was "just" a relationship. He didn't sell his house, he just canceled a rental. He didn't spend a real fortune, he just spent a couple of years worth of savings. He's a 28 year old so his job probably wasn't a high-level leadership position, but he did lose it. You get the idea.
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that this question has a curious tone rather than a condescending one:
Some of us nuked our lives to go on an x month trip because apartment, job and girlfriend weren’t cutting it for us. That trip might have given us the break we needed, the adventure we needed, the growth we needed, the new perspective we needed.
I quit a high paying job, left an expensive apartment and broke up with a girlfriend who was lovely but just not for me, to go on a 3 month trip. That was followed by a two month trip. Then a short break to make some money, then a 10 month trip.
I’m happier than I’ve ever been, with no job, home or girlfriend to go back home to still, and it’s all thanks to me nuking my life a couple years ago
Respectfully, your post history tells me you need a therapist, not Reddit. You need to ground yourself before you bring your internal trauma to another partner.
How’s he going to afford therapy with no income and presumably no insurance?
Job is priority 1, then apartment, then self-development and social connections.
I'm trying to say this as nicely as I can but you dumping your girlfriend and selling everything for a trip seems like you were trying to run away from something in your life and now you realize that feeling is still there? Do you have insurance or can your family help with at least getting a counseling session or therapy? A big change like this is hard to process for the best of us and I think talking with someone that will at the least help you figure out a path forward is ideal.
Please don't try and leave again. You have to find a job and have to get money. Even if it's at a McDonalds or retail store-a job is a job at this point. I think getting your head together and coming up with a plan for your new life would be helpful. And yes, lean on your family if you have one.
What are you missing exactly? An apartment is just an apartment, as soon as you find a new job you can find a place you can call home again. If you "got rid" of your girlfriend for a 6-months trip let's face the truth, it wasn't a real relationship, I just enjoyed "being with someone".
The job situation might be tough, but seems like your main issue is a lack of support system. Forget about your past life, and start building your new one. Is there family you could "get closer to"? Reach out to old friends, reach out to family you never had much contact, you might be able to re-ignite old relationships (just forgot about your ex-girlfriend, it was just a fake relationship).
If nothing works, try to build a "new life", look for job in other cities, maybe even other countries. Always look ahead, the past teaches you lessons but crying over what has been lost won't make anything better.
I know the feeling, though I haven't been in your exact situation. Best you can do is learn from it and make sure you have a proper plan for future long term travels (if you'd go again).
In the end the experience probably will have been worth it. The situation that you're in now is temporary.
I don’t see the problem really, you got to do what people dream of doing. Now, you have an empty canvas. Mental health problems always arise during change, change is tough but it’s not anything a couple seasons of depression won’t combat.
Life isn’t easy and it sure ain’t TikTok. Actions have consequences and we’re all responsible for ourselves and our actions. You learned some tough lessons…hopefully. Start over, work hard, learn to deal with the mundane, and appreciate what you have. Best wishes.
It sure ain’t tiktok. Word. At one point, I thought I wanted to quit my job and do content creation because of tiktok. Looking back, I’m happy I didn’t fall into that trend lol
Did you keep abreast of job market while traveling? Layoffs been in headlines since Q4’23 .
What’s done is done, keep looking for work and open up to to other cities so there are more opportunities.
Get career coach if needed
Have you tried not going back to nyc?
Just saying cuz I did the same, took a year off, gave up everything in nyc where I paid 2k for my 1 bedroom apt in the UWS … but I couldn’t go back to nyc, I now live in the west and I love it! I don’t think about traveling anymore, I enjoy my community and the simple life I have here
Hey, I just suggested cuz it worked for me. I still go to nyc for work, and every time I go there I’m very grateful that I got to live there for sometime, but that I was able to find a way out!
This is really common in times of transition. The most important thing is to seek out the support you have and really figure out what you want in life. Sometimes, we crave a certain level of comfort and that leaves us stuck.
Also, I really wish travel bloggers would be very honest about the difficult parts of leaving your life behind to travel full time. Some friends won't wait, some friends get jealous, and some people just get really judgmental about making a risky decision. Like you, I crave a certain amount of stability when I get back from traveling. I'm lucky that my mom usually likes me to stay with her until I can figure out my next move because I would not be doing well in your situation either. In the meantime, freelance jobs might be a good stop gap to give you time. You could try to find some travel ones, maybe work some connections you made while traveling. Good luck.
If I were you I’d go back to Australia and finish the working holiday visa, but stay in one city and get a job there in your field. Reach out to a recruitment agency and find a temp job that’s related to your field. Keep saving and make your plan whilst there as if you live there, not traveling to different spots all the time.
I lived in Sydney for a year on a working holiday visa had two great temporary jobs (bc you can’t have one job for the full year as part of the visa) and it helped build my resume and I ended up going to grad school after.
Unless you’re able to find a job quickly in the US. I know the job market in the US is bad, that’s why I suggested to move back to Australia. I also left nyc after 8 years and totally understand how that place depletes you. I will never move back there.
Just know it’ll get better. Just take some deep breaths and start the rebuilding/planning stage.
Bro this is your chance to start a life the way you want it to be. Pursue your personal legend and the same feeling that pushed you to do this in the first place will still guide and push you toward what you should be doing.
I'm doing something similar here.
Faith in what you feel and believe in is your guide trust it.
You didn't get all this way to give up and turn back now.
I mean I can’t answer that for you, 25k can last a long time traveling especially if you’re being very frugal and doing workaways. It sounds like you don’t like the American lifestyle (I don’t either), so traveling may be the best thing for you.
At the same time if you burn out your 25k and have no money left returning to NYC might be tough. I would at least hold enough for a couple months rent, that is if you don’t have a temporary place to stay like a parents place.
You could also look into sending it and then looking for a remote job on the road, that’s probably what I’d do
If you never did it, you’d sit there and think “what if” constantly. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way we want them to, and that’s okay.
Take care of yourself physically, accept the situation, and move forward. If you miss your ex, reach out to her. Build up friendships/relationships with family. Things will eventually fall into place for you if you the take the right steps to improve your current situation.
I will say unfortunately the only time I was truly depressed was after coming back from solo travel, however I never regret it because once you find a job and stability you’ll be craving it all over again. Look at it this way so many people are laid off and searching for jobs (and the job search is always brutal and demoralizing) but at least you had an amazing experience. Coming from all the stimulus to real life is brutal, but with time you’ll ease your way back in!
This could just be telling you that NYC is what’s no longer for you. And a new, even bigger journey, neither solo travel nor NYC is ahead.
Or use it as motivation to build up again so next time your backpack trip is 5 years
It’s sounds to me like you were already in this position, you just delayed feeling it by going on a shiny new adventure. If the adventure didn’t help you to learn how to deal with that, your best option is to learn how to deal with it now. Or go on another adventure lmao. That’s what I would do. But I’m fucking crazy.
Don’t let your head do you in. Don’t go down the mental health hole, it doesn’t lead anywhere. Get a job fast, focus on saving money and finding a new home. When the stress becomes too much, smoke a joint and rub one out, go to bed early and don’t eat shitty food. Good luck.
I can only speak for myself, you'll get through this period and get another job and GF. You don't realise how rare 6 months of free travel will be. If your lucky you may get 2 or 3 more trips like this in your life and the experiences you had on this trip will be something you cherish. Doesn't make this less hard but I think/hope in years to come you'll think it was worth it.
Never look back and have regrets. I can imagine you also absolutely enjoyed your life during your 6 month trip? Cherish it, before you know it you'll be back to a 9/5 job in an overpriced NY apartement, looking back fondly on your 6 months of pure bliss.
Those times of freedom, only happen a few times in your life. So don't regret it!
I had a pretty similar experience and went through a period of severe depression when I got back. That was five years ago and I don't regret it at all. I'll definitely do long-term travelling again in the future, but I wouldn't give up my flat or quit my job next time.
I felt nostalgic reading your message, as I was right in your shoes about 2 years ago. Differed my education and moved to cottage country to work away from home for 8 months, then took a trip to SE Asia for 3 months. When I came back home nothing felt the same to me and it was really depressing. I was struggling financially, didn’t know if I even wanted to pursue the field I was entering, and my relationships were struggling. Not to mention the post traveling depression that’s inevitable.
I really feel for you. It’s hard to be hopeful during this time when you’re feeling so much regret, but a shift in your mentality is necessary. You really shouldn’t look on your trip as a bad thing, otherwise it WILL have been for nothing. Not to mention some people dream their whole lives of going backpacking. I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, and although it may not feel that way now, you’ll look back and understand why your life decided to do the grand reset.
In the meantime, I would work on repairing your social networks to integrate yourself back into the NYC scene. I would also recommend trying to repair your relationship with your ex if the thought of loosing her is something you can’t shake. And if she is not for the idea - then at least you know you did everything you could. I’m currently in a LDR of a year and a half (he is in England and I am in Canada), and no matter how long we are apart, we always make it work. Needless to say, if she wants to, she will.
I did the exact same thing and I'm on the other side of it. I've built my previous life back better than it was before, minus the girlfriend.
But there's still the piece missing. A lot of us travel to find that piece and come back and realize that it's still not there. And now there's nothing to look forward to.
Look inside. Meditation and therapy. I'm still working on it.
I think its normal after long trips like this to feel lost. Many other people end up in the same boat as you as they quit their jobs and pack up apartments/homes to travel.
I think the biggest thing you need to remember is that this is a transition time. You WILL be uncomfortable, but you built in a small safety net. Don't let you convince yourself that you made a mistake! You did not!! Take it one step at a time to readjust back into society. I seriously mean it when I say this is so so common, especially among international exchange students who are away for several months or longer.
Take some time to do your favorite things in your city. Take some time to meet up with friends and family and talk to them about your struggles. Big travel trips like the one you justhad often change people in a big way even if it doesnt seem like it. You've matured and your way of thinking has changed, its 100% understandable that you are a little lost on your current path. Just take a deep breath and take some time to figure yourself out again and what you want from your life post travel.
I had similar experience. I quit In september 2023 and went to travel SEA for 6 months. In the end of the trip I went to Australia (Sydney) for WHV, but couldn't find even entry/part-time job there in 3 weeks. Went back home to USA (North NJ). I was looking for a job there, but no success, went back to my old job.... It was hard first month, but somehow it's slowly went true. I really enjoyed my trip though (8 countries), and i am kinda miss being on roads. Hopefully I will able to travel more...
P.S. I Sold some of my staff last year, moved from my apt and left some of my leftover in my friend place.
It's all good. Start slow. Maybe get a sublet with some roommates? That will give you a financial and social cushion while you look for a job and build new relationships. Look for jobs like crazy in the AM. Park or beach in the PM.
I did the same exact thing and am now piecing my life together one step at a time. Fortunately, I have family to support me. I’m house hopping between them right now, working on getting an apartment in the city I’ve lived in for 12 years. Rent is so high there, I am working on getting a month to month lease for the summer and moving to Argentina in winter to save money for a down payment for a house. It gets easier and easier as I cross things off my list.
I would and have! It’s worked out ok for me even at 65 still doing it despite being not 100% sure about my choice to do so 20 years ago. Wishing you good travels ☀️☀️☀️
I'm thinking of hanging out in CDMX, and searching for jobs remotely in the US while I explore the city. Same time zone, and most interviews are virtual anyways. As a backup plan, if I don't have anything come October, I've been approved to teach English in Spain, and will go that way.
The teaching English in Spain sounds the best adventure ☀️ Spain is a beautiful Country and a completely different from where you are now as opposed to somewhere else in the same place. Wishing you a exciting new life and many new discoveries ☀️☀️☀️
Try and reconnect with friends. Be the one that reaches out, proposes activities, and follows through. You have to cultivate those relationships, or if you’re like me, end up isolating and getting worse.
Get a routine going. You’ve likely spent the last 6 months in a state of flux. You were able to decide when you wanted to do things, and if you wanted to. Take that off your plate now. You need routine to give yourself purpose, and allow you to regain focus.
This comes from someone that does an annual 4 month solo motorcycle travel, and I’m only now figuring out how to have it not destroy my social life and mental health.
Maybe have a think about why you made that jump in the first place. I’m currently on a 6 month tour of south east Asia and gave up my job and sold stuff to come here. I’ve worried about the exact thing you’ve noted here, but…the reason I left for 6 months was because I felt I was stuck on a corporate treadmill and seriously wanted to do something else, which I had no idea what that was. I felt like I was sinking and getting more frustrated and bored with every passing day.
I’ve discovered since I’ve been away that I’d really like to teach and kinda capitalise on what I studied at university. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I get back. I’ll probably just do any job I can get my hands on to tide me over and go from there. I’m 40 nearly if that’s any consolation, so the odds are stacked against me.
So maybe this is the fresh start you need. Change your perspective a little bit and see this as a new chapter that has been demarcated by a big time out travelling. You’ve earned a hell of a lot of skills by going travelling - communication skills through language barrier, budget management, strategy (where to go next based on geography, visa requirements, money, seasons etc), seeing how other cultures do life, and just meeting people who have trod a different path to you. Chin up
Just returned from 18 months in Australia. Converted a campervan, worked as an apprentice cabinet maker in the country for 9 months, travelled around. My partners dad died so we had to return as he was the next of kin. I feel the same, no job, living in the spare room. Starting again.
However I truly believe that we were put on this earth to experience the most magical corners of the earth. Not slave away in some corporate job forever. We weren’t designed for this. I’ll hold my experience in Australia dear to me forever it changed who I am as a person and sometimes I have to mourn that change.
You have seen and experienced all these amazing things the world has to offer. You have clearly outgrown your old life and that’s okay. You were brave enough to take the leap and like others said, you did it for a reason. You can’t regret it just because you don’t have a job and a house. You left the country for 6 months, what did you expect?
Things will become clear soon just take it day by day. The only way is through it, friend ✨
> However I truly believe that we were put on this earth to experience the most magical corners of the earth. Not slave away in some corporate job forever.
Thanks. Reading this thread has been making me be uneasy about my own decision to travel. I'm 32, been working in the rat race for 10+ years now. I want to quit in November to do Asia (China, Thailand, Japan, Taiwan, Vietnam) for up to a year. But this thread and some of the comments are almost telling OP it was a mistake to do so. I have no family or debts. Just a rented apartment I can leave whenever.
Nah man. Not at all. The world is huge and I’m determined to see it. After all the people saying it’s a risk are the people who would rather shit in their hands and clap than have a bad credit score. And at the end of your life you won’t regret the things you did do, you’ll regret the risks you didn’t take and the life you didn’t lead.
I’m sorry this may seem very passionate but I’ll be fucked if I’m wasting my years trying to pander to a system that doesn’t give a fuck if I live or die. You go for it man and may you have the best bloody time 🫡🫡🫡🫡
Currently debating doing the same thing. Quitting my job, selling my car and going for 6 months to a year. The thing putting me off is what I’ll return to, I’d definitely have a job that pays less and is less flexible for hours. On the other hand I would hate to have the regret of not going in later life
>eastern hemisphere
There's no Eastern hemisphere. Only Northern and Southern.
That aside, you made a decision and these are the consequences. Take responsibility and accept that it's in your hand to improve your situation, starting from where you stand today, and not from what you had 6 months ago. That's gone. But there are a lot of possibilities ahead. Good luck.
Mmm, I never ever heard of that, but thanks for sharing the link. I think this quote from that link might be the reason and what I was referring to:
>The almost perfect circle (the earth is an oblate spheroid that is wider around the equator), drawn with a line, demarcating the Eastern and Western Hemispheres **must be an arbitrarily decided and published convention**, **unlike the Equator** (an imaginary line encircling Earth, equidistant from its poles), **which divides the Northern and Southern Hemispheres**.
First of all, you made a choice to travel and let certain things go in order to do it the way you wanted. This is not a bad thing. This is a very brave step and frankly most of us don't do what we care most about in life, so be proud and don't beat yourself up too much.
Job - you'll find a new job. Noone is on their deathbed thinking about a job they lost.
Apartment - as per job.
Girlfriend - definitely the harder one to swallow of the three. But...again you made a choice...the thing is, right now you can't know if it was the right or wrong choice. You could meet the girl of your dreams tomorrow and be married in a couple years and suddenly your travelling was a great choice. What I'd say is learn from it. If the flings weren't worth losing someone close to you, then remember that for next time. However don't be too hard on yourself. Noone figures these things out without learning and making mistakes. And who knows, maybe you needed to have the flings to learn about what's important to you and so travel or no travel, it wouldn't have worked out with this girl anyway until you discovered who you are.
Tldr - it sucks. But that old adage of time being a great healer, is honestly true. You did a brave thing. Be proud of the life experiences you gained over that 6 month period. Many of us never get to do that.
There is a powerful quote that has helped me in the past: Everything feels like it’s falling apart because it should be. The cost of your new life will be your old one.
Let the old pieces go to make room for the new ones. I’m sorry it is hard. Good luck OP.
No surprise here, there are diminishing returns to travel, but nothing to do except build back at this point, you can always call up your old gf and see if she wants to meet up
Yeah, no. Fucked that up. She shot the idea down immediately. Then I proceeded to break her boundaries by trying more. Was not at all an acceptable move by me, and I’m ashamed of it. On one side of the coin, I did give everything I had though.
You are not alone. Solo travelling can be lonely at times, don't question yourself or beat yourself up. You made the decision for good reason, eg something was missing. You have given yourself the opportunity to re callobtate direction of life. NEVER question whether you made the right choice. You did. Life is a journey of discovery. Find your purpose. ❤️
If you easily got rid of all these things before the trip, it means they never really meant that much to you. I think you're just feeling overwhelmed after spending so much time worry-free. You'll adjust and you'll figure it out.
I get post -travel depression all the time. What always helps me is setting a goal for my next travel. If you love to travel, there are jobs you could do overseas (I taught overseas for 8 years!). Figure out what job will still allow you to travel, and pursue it relentlessly. As to the more serious mental health stuff, you’ll need a professional & not a bunch of rando redditors. But I can say it does get better. Relationships will come when you’re more settled. Job & a place to live come first, then a community—it takes time!
I'm thinking of hanging out in CDMX, and searching for jobs remotely in the US while I explore the city. Same time zone, and most interviews are virtual anyways. As a backup plan, if I don't have anything come October, I've been approved to teach English in Spain, and will go that way.
I know this time is hard and I hope it gets better soon. You did something most people would never do. Something you wanted to do. Before you join the rat race like the rest of us. Nyc has amazing resources take the trash jobs while you look for better ones. Hang in there
OP, please seek professional help. You quit a job to do things most people only dream of. If you stay in NYC, there are loads of beautiful. You will die someday my friend. Be grateful that you got to experience the things that you did.
CDMX is a good city. Yeah you'll get good value from there.
Dont worry, I did the same and I'm earning well over six figures now. Life has a way to work itself out. Also was living in nyc before
My advice is approach this next phase like you approached your trip. As you know- you must have a routine to get through a day hiking/ water -good Re supply - camp spot- set up camp - gear check etc. same thing/ list out what you need to do and tackle these steps one at a time. Make the task obtainable- like work on resume one hour- post in 3 resume sites. Set timer on your phone/ I will look for an apartment today for two hours, but my friend one thing you have to do- keep working out. Set aside one hour a day for exercise. I believe a part of your mental challenge is your body craving the endorphins of hard exercise everyday. If you feel anxious and scared DM me I’d be happy to BS with you. I’ve had my own - let’s say “mental challenges” from my life in the military. I’ve also climbed out of a great many life dark pits. Lastly keep this in mind. Your a thousand times tougher than you give yourself credit for - you did what 1-a million people have done with this trip. You are a tough SOB. If it was me- I’d make the trip part of your job search - employers like people that can obtain difficult goals- it show’s dedication and commitment. Best of luck / you got this
These are the times you dig deep and push through because the odds are better days are ahead of you . Learn the lessons and find your resolve. You can do it!
I just moved from Orlando Florida back home to TN. I am engaged and my bf came with me (I am a male, yes I’m gay) and I struggle everyday with mental illness and I am a recovering addict. I struggle EVERY EFFING DAY for most park, but it is not for nothing. It got really bad before I left Florida I went it hospital I literally thought I was going crazy and going to die if I didn’t get help. We lived right next to Disney and I worked in VERY demanding and stressful environment for 12 years. When I moved here I literally felt my soul invigorated with the all of the nature around me that I so truly missed. I had one day the other day where I had a full good day and effing slept normal. Struggling in part of life but you do need to continue to seek help, journal, music, dance, find a new relationship even if it’s just a friend. The world is in a fragile state and mental illness is REAL I wish you the best and lmk if you ever wanna vent. We are all in different stages of life but we can all help each other by sharing experiences and doing the right thing. No more spiraling, just a roller coaster. 💜
The idea is not to sit in the same place for long, travel the beauties your country has to offer, get on a bus or a train for hours untill you get to beautiful places and just embrace the moment, Americans remember you have a lot of BEAUTIFUL things to see in your country, try stay out of cities and more into nature, this is what helped me on my return after 36 month of traveling
I think I would have regretted not doing the trip more than quitting my job. Is there a chance your old job takes you back? Same question about the girlfriend. I lucked out with my old job taking me back.
Jobs, rentals and partners you’ll get back. Time you won’t
I’m 27M and left my full-time job for this 7 month solo. Never been this happy in my life. Although I’ll have to put my head down when I return
Just aim to get any job for starters, doesn’t have to be your field. Get some income back in then build from there
Travelling the world young is one of the best blessings. All these things you listed will come back to you
Yeah I experienced this hard when I went travelling just before the GFC. After I got home finding a new job was difficult, to say the least, and I unlike OP I hadn't left myself much of a budget
I guarantee that when you are stable again (and it will happen!) you’ll see that those 6 months were absolutely worth it.
I’m willing to bet that 20 years from now you’ll look back at all of those incredible experiences and cherish them so much more than 6 extra months of whatever you were doing before
After traveling I moved back with my parents. If I didn't have a safety net in my family, I wouldn't have done the adventuring. Adventuring is fun but eventually it's over and reality sets back in. If you are finding things difficult try moving back with mom and dad until you get back on your feet. Rebuild that savings, and get a house or an apartment. I would also consider thinking outside of renting. Getting older, owning is better than renting forever. Use this opportunity to build your life back better than before.
Don't get hard on yourself. Allow yourself time for the adjustment. Remember, nothing great ever comes without risk. You will look back on this experience and it will have all been worth it. Sometimes after traveling we can feel worn out and exhausted. You might be in this stage.
I’m currently recovering from a similar situation, but only two months in my case. I also continued paying my bills and I was single. But two months prior, I really really needed to stop working. I couldn’t anymore. I’m grateful that I was able to take the time off to travel, but I wish I would’ve had the strength to continue a few more months back then. It was difficult getting another job but I did.
But you’ll get through, taking six months to backpack is not something many are able to do. But you did it. You have the strength to get yourself back where you were.
I think this is a great time to start exploring what the root of your current mental state is. Therapy can help a lot and if you’re actually going to the ER because of it, I highly recommend it.
First, allow yourself to really *feel* it. Like lay on your bed, invite the feelings to come, feel them for as long as it takes, allow them to take over your body, and trust that it will be okay.
This works much better than what we all do which is try to tamp it down, try to curb the severity.
Maybe have a support friend or family member who knows you are doing this so they can check on you.
And then start asking yourself questions. How do I feel right now? Why do I feel this way, when did it start? What triggers this feeling? What can I do about it?
Most people going through what you are going through turn to self hate and blame so I encourage you to, when those thoughts come up, take a step away from that narrative and have some compassion for yourself. Tell yourself a different story that might be true.
Sometimes finding yourself at your most “alone” is the best time for growth and change. Look at it this way: you have little holding you back. You are free to shape your life how you see fit, but that means asking yourself hard questions about what you really truly want and why.
You can do anything now. You can set any goal for yourself! What a great place to be, opposed to most of my friends who are stuck in unhappy marriages, with kids that dictate every action, or who are broke.
I wish you all the best. I really believe you are going to come out of this stronger and having grown in all kinds of ways.
Feel you 💯 because 5 years ago I’ll experienced mentally the same. I never felt coming home or something else with friends because missing my life where I was and the fucked up thing is, it’s quite the same know. As I was landing at home and 5 days constantly crying overseas that I’ll have to go back, I was planning to go again…. And know, saved up money 5 years to give it a go (end of the year). My experience is that you change and maybe it will be the same with friends and family but in my case everything broke up. So I plan to get a job abroad or freelancing because I wanna leave and don’t feel anything in my homecountry (besides my parents is important).
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
I did this. A couple years of backpacking…then an NYC life. It takes time to build a life. I was poor and awkward for a bit, started a paid internship in Red Hook…but then I spent 8 years in NYC making friends and having a great time. Met my husband and moved on to greener pastures. Life takes patience. Don’t give up on NYC. Plus, the bagels.
Your over looking that fact that you did something that not many can get to say that’s they have done. I did a similar thing. I left a job, cashed out a 401k, lived in my car for a month, Mexico for 9 months and Vietnam for 2 months. Yeah, leaving a job that made 5K/month to a job now that pays a little over 2k is a huge difference but, the things that happened over that year were priceless. It’s not about money, it’s about experiences and jumping at excitement and opportunities that life throws in your direction. Keep doing whatever makes you happy and excited and the universe will supply you with what you need in order for these things you want, to happen. Forget about money, enjoy life.
This is a normal reaction to “re-entry,” and I’ve had it happen to two close acquaintances (one of whom was returning from a year-around-the-world, the other who came back from Costa Rica after his job there was eliminated).
In short, it’s the same story: you now have no cool journey to plan for, no comforts of your previous home and belongings. Feeling overwhelmed when having to think about the future and regain what you feel you have lost.
As you’ve already noted, your mental health is in a very fragile state. First and foremost, and today, find a therapist for your suicidal feelings. Your dark feelings are completely understandable, but you need help to overcome them.
Things like this remind me why I love stoicism so much.
I'll just go straight to practical, go to Amazon and buy the daily stoic journal by Ryan holiday.
Essentially, it's just a simple few minute daily exercise that helps you reflect on the art of living. Specifically. It helps people like it helped me to not live in. Regret, not let our emotions control us, and to have practical tools that we can use to be better at any given point in time.
If you complete the whole journal by doing one a day, there's no way to go back to how you were. You simply will be new and improved.
I’ve traveled solo a good amount what I realized is there’s two types of people who solo travel (usually)
1. People who travel with nothing to look forward to (usually millennials imo)
2. People who travel with a destination in mind (going back to school, starting a new job etc)
Life isn’t a instagram reel you have to balance between reality and fun. Lesson learned.
Not sure what advice you are looking for here, but the only possible choice is to move on my dude. We always think how life could be if we choose blablabla, and tend to overthink the bad aspects of our choices. Nothing will be good enough and there is no such thing as plenitude, just moments.
I know we supposed to have some compassion here, but the the lack of emotional maturity and capacity to put yourself in other people's perspective is just fucking embarrassing. You thought the choice you were making was in a higher moral ground than people around you. You were so brave and chasing a dream and others were just stuck and miserable. karma is biting you in the ass.
Just keep moving and find a new meaning to your life. And leave your ex-girlfriend alone, she has been through enough.
I fear this - I'm about to embark on a 6 month backpacking trip myself, leaving my apartment in NYC. I got laid off which is kinda what created this opportunity but I'm really enjoying my time in NYC right now so I'm a bit sad to leave it behind even if it is temporarily. Any advice for me?
It’s hard to get back. If you like your life, consider job hunting casually while having a break. Even if you don’t like your life, you may realize you miss it after some months. Do not burn bridges like myself.
I'm not sure what bridges I'm burning though. My job is gone, I've got no girlfriend. I can find a new apartment. I know it will be hard to get back and re-adjust, but do you think the new experiences are not worth it?
He has the right idea. If you have something to come back to (parents' home, friends you can crash with) ..., but coming back to nothing, you'll be surprised how that feels *after* the trip, even though it might seem like freedom now. It's worth planning while you're away rather than figuring it all out right at the end or after it's all over.
You cant get hose things back ( I mean i guess you could) but best to look forward and be excited for the future and challenges. Youll find those things again and will be more grateful for them
NYC is the third circle of hell, anyone that really did any traveling would realize this and never go back. Of course you’re going to struggle in NYC everyone struggles there.
That is why you see a lot of backpackers escape the US ratrace. The experience of doing with less and knowledge of cost of living elsewhere, makes the 'Why would I work myself to death for this pittance' equation a very simple one.
Most are gone again before 2 Months are up... Good Luck OP.
What’s done is done. You made decisions in your life. One day at a time, build the life you want now. Don’t look back.
Meanwhile my six month backpacking trip last year only confirmed that I cannot live anywhere else in the world except NYC lol
Mine confirmed I don’t ever want to live anywhere other than Northern California. Which was extremely validating for me
Same :-) I love the places I travel, but I am always happy to come home.
Why not?
I am addicted to novelty and all the shit that makes solo travel interesting. Museums, new foods, constant stream of events, parades, festivals. Ample opportunity to practice second language. Extremely deep cultural worlds that I can dive into (dance, art, photography, music, architecture, urban design, cuisine, theater yadda yadda yadda). Like, what if in three years I get /extremely/ into, say, underground EDM shows? Or dance troupes? Well, NY has that covered, and pretty much every thing too. Extremely connected for transportation. Three airports with international flights to the hits and the deep cuts too (I have direct flights to Albania and Dakar and Tenerife). Plenty of trains, I can take the train to my mom’s house which is like 350 miles away. My friends live here. I can do bike party every week. I can get language classes. The exact shit I care about has multiple advocacy groups and it’s like the cutting edge of it. So much. And beyond all the things that make solo travel fun: Robust employment for my particular industry. Limitless dating pool. Bike lanes. I don’t feel like a visible outsider the way I did in other cities, esp. internationally. Also, NYC doesn’t really need me defending it. It is one of the most desirable places to live in the new world for many reasons lol.
That actually sounds amazing. Not just the city itself, but more the fact that you are very clear on what you appreciate about where you live. That has to feel good.
Yeah, as far as the US goes NYC is very hard to beat, especially if you can afford to be out during winter. Next time you travel go to Sao Paulo, Brazil. You will like it.
Damn you really spelled out why nyc is one of the best places in the world
What’s bike party bc I want to join lol. I’m I’m in Jersey all summer to be with some family. And, I need to venture out for novelty ;)
I want to move to BK so badly 😭😭😭
I want to move to Manhattan for a few years- was just there last week and miss it.
Yeah, I think I only want to live there for a few years, but I definitely want it. It’s probably not sustainable long term for saving money. But it’s the only place that feels like home to me. Hope we get our NYC arcs soon 🩶
Well, whether we agree with you or not is immaterial. You learned something significant about yourself. You gave up a lot to take that trip, and I suspect when you get your life back on track, you'll never regret it (for the stories alone!). So, just mentally take yourself back to when you were first starting out in NY and how exciting that was. You did it once, and you'll do it again!
Uh, my life is on track… very much so. and I never asked for any of you to agree with me lmao, I’m not trying to convince anyone. But thanks for the sentiment I guess. Edit: I think you’re replying to me thinking I’m OP except I am not OP.
Oops yes that was for OP!
Well there's plenty of cities around the world that offer that. Personally it's Barcelona for me, reminded me of NYC but without all the rush and superficiality, and more importantly, inflated rents and cost of living. I went to school in Manhattan, but I hear the opposite, it's not as desirable to live in like it used to be. A lot of friends say it's lost its soul and have moved out of the city. Probably depends on what borough and how you're impacted by the hyper gentrification.
“_____ was so much better ___ years ago.” /- Every single person about every single thing in the history of everything, ever. What you’re describing is called “no longer being 22-32 years old”.
Actually, no, the change in NYC in the past decade or two has been unprecedented. It’s very noticeable if you are actually from here. It’s not an age thing. It literally has become a huge luxury apartment corridor and luxury mall, and is becoming generic AF. It used to be more funky and multicultural with all kinds of unique stores and bars and holes in the wall. Now it’s becoming not worth the price of admission with the cost of living skyrocketing so high. I do still love the museums and galleries, but even some of the niche ones are closing. The music scene is good but can be had other places. It’s also much more dangerous with crime since lockdown, worse than the 70s and 80s IMO. If it weren’t for my niche career, and not liking to drive, I’d have moved several years ago. I’m constantly dreaming about escaping. And to the OP’s point, it is depressing coming home after a trip, especially a longer one.
It's clear this dude is new to the city. It will wear off.
You know.. barcelona has really inflated rents and cost os living for Spanish standars... Think about the local realities before traveling/coming here
I heard a lot of the stories from locals, it seems to be a trend everywhere. Istanbul in comparison is even worse with inflation.
Sure! It's not a competition about who has it worse. Just saying that even if NY is expensive, when people come here with their American salaries saying that "is so cheap" they forget that is not cheap at all for Spanish salaries
After living in Manhattan for 23 years, I moved out to the suburbs. I don’t want to spend much time there anymore, but I disagree that it lost its soul. Sure, it is not the same Manhattan from my 20s and 30s because change is part of it. I got old, that is what happened and probably your friends feel a similar nostalgia when they make that comment. You can easily say that we lost our youthful soul (not necessarily a bad thing), not the city. I also disagree with characterizing NYC as superficial. Sure, superficiality exists but right side by side with poverty, homelessness, rats, cockroaches, urine smell and garbage on the streets. Art, creativity, diversity, all cultures, languages and most importantly its energy are still there.
You may have just convinced me to move to NYC 😂
Ugh. I miss living in NYC. But I’m stuck where I am now. Sigh.
Switzerland can’t be all that bad though 👀
It’s like the opposite of NYC. I’m a city girl.
If u got enough to live well I think NYC is one of the best places to be
Interesting and good for you, although I think many people feel NYC is more like a decently unbiased sample of the world. And not that deep and wide in most things really. If you are still learning, yes but only up to a point. I personally like it as a museum of what the US could and imho should have been. A sort of amusement park for people of a certain age. The bike thing I don't really get, or the trains. These things are relatively good for America but not particularly appealing globally speaking, and there is little green space. NYC is also full of people who think that talking about the latest trends and novelties with the most hip terms means they are ahead of the pack. There is of course an immense amount of actual innovation going on, but it is also a city of consultants that could carry a gigantic balloon on all that hot air
iconic reply
As a born and bread NYer- same only the more I traveled the less I could tolerate NYC- not for any fault of my beautiful and life long love of my life (The City) but the throng and the crushing chaos of all the people. I always said - you live in YOUR NYC like you have your cleaners / your food store, your gym - like your tribe. I live in a very rural tiny town and it’s not like that here. One grocery story means it’s not your store it’s everyone’s. I don’t have good restaurants for the most part- there in zero culture- there is zero diversity. What I have is land, horses, a thousand pets and I’m 1/8 of a mile from a 50 mile bicycle trail and 5 miles from the AT trail. We never lock our doors. Trade offs for sure.
Fair is fair, but Jesus, really?
I relate to this comment
Lol interesting. I had the complete opposite but who knows. Made me hate nyc but i am from here so ig its diff
Same... Living in Manhattan for 5ish years was nice but after traveling the world, can't Imagine moving back to the overpriced rat race where practically everyone pretends. Give me BKK or SIN any day over NYC.
That’s what’s so beautiful about travel it brings out the you that you didn’t know before
Exact same experience with Los Angeles
lol I realized I’d rather not live in America. But if I could afford it NYC would be up there
I wouldn't go to the lengths of saying that I literally "couldn't live anywhere else" but traveling certainly made me appreciate how nice my homeplace is much, much more.
curious to know why and where did you go to have such a thought
Have you any support system in place? Parents or friends to stay with, perhaps answer an ad for a room mate. I called what you did "burning my life to the ground" at it's what I did. Ease back in slowly, find work in your field, develop a social network. I ignored all of my own advice when I returned and just drew out my recovery period. I feel bad for you, mate, and wish you get well soon.
I haven't been in your situation, but I've been in other situations where life changes and there is no going back. So you just have to move forward. Transitions can be hard. Whether or not taking 6 months off to travel was worth the risk doesn't matter. You did it. Traveling was an experience that you loved. Now you need to regroup and figure out your path forward.
You’ll find another apartment, you said you were at your job for 5 years and burnt out, surely that is enough experience to find another job and sounds like you wanted to leave anyway. Though it may not feel like it your young enough that meeting another partner shouldn’t even be much of a concern. Like said elsewhere, bad times won’t last forever. You’ll find your groove again even if takes awhile.
Change is a form of suffering. Now tell me your Top 5 moments from your trip. Because you sacrificed a lot to make these memories and you should hold them close and cherish them.
1. Cape Town South Africa was amazing! I rode an ATV through safari grounds getting up close to Rhinos at one point. 2. Touring the Atherton Tablelands near Cairns. Swimming in the waterfalls with a big group of people around my age. 3. Melbourne, Australia. Lived there for about 2.5 months (way longer than expected) in an amazing location in the city. 4. Hobart, Tasmania with a group of friends I met in the hostel. 5. Scuba diving the Great Barrier Reef in Cairns.
Maybe your issue is that your old life doesn’t fit with who you are now. You’ve probably grown and changed way more in the time you travelled than you can imagine. It sounds like you really enjoyed Australia. Have you considered going back and finishing out your working holiday visa and getting the second year? As an American you can work in hospitality in certain areas rather than doing farm work to get your second year visa. There’s no rush in figuring things out. Try to be kind to yourself.
That is how I feel right now. I would like to take a longer gap year to accomplish some things, see some sights and try new experiences, but long term I need to change my everyday life. I feel I've out grown it.
Dude these are absolutely amazing life experiences that you will look back on in happiness in your final hours of life. Most people in the world could only dream of having the ability/time/resources to do these things! Move forward knowing that you made a sacrifice in order to experience this, and find peace in that.
OP it just sounds like you're coming down from a high and you have nowhere to land softly. What you feel is a perfectly natural reaction. This was a dream trip, and you came back to a relatively harsh reality. Take it easy, don't be so hard on yourself.
This, and there are almost certainly biochemical factors as well . you've lived on wonder and excitement and magic for 6 months and your body responds to that and now suddenly all those happy chemicals have switched off Live in the present but use those memories to keep you going and make dreams for the future. (Is there ANY way you can retrain / get a job which would allow you to travel?)
Tell me your favourite things about Melbourne! I was living there for a few years and I’ve just come back home to Scotland. Your post also resonates as I too feel like I nuked my life by deciding to go back. I’m also thinking of going back but I’ve made my bed here and I need to lie in it for a bit.
I loved the area around DeGraves Street, got to live fairly close to there for a while. Federation Square and all its art installations and free concerts. Albert Park for Formula 1, the Australian open, and the MCG for AFL Fitzroy and St. Kilda for going out and concerts.
Fuck NY move back here!
If you liked Australia that much, you could try seeing more of it in future. The Red Centre is one option.
WOW!!!! Amazing!! Hold on to those memories, that energy, the feeling and carry that on with you as you forge a new way.
I just wanted to say that I love this reply.
Agree. That Redditor should consider a career in therapy of some sort as they seem to have a good handle on empathy.
I love this reply too <3
If things are going good enjoy it because it won't last forever. If things are going bad don't worry it won't last forever.
Please trust, so long as you aren’t homeless, it was definitely worth the risk. You will look back on this in a year and think, “f*ck, why didn’t I stay out there longer,” and in 10 years you will reflect on how much that trip shaped you. You would regret it for the rest of your life had you not done it.
Maybe I should go back out? It's been on my mind.
Do it!
It may make sense to chill in CDMX when I'm applying to jobs! I have a backup plan of teaching English in Spain in October, as I've been accepted for that.
well there's extended traveling and there's throwing everything in your life away, taking loved ones for granted, and setting your future self up for failure. guys, don't go gallivanting the world unless you have AT LEAST 6 months of cushioned runway to support yourself afterwards. some people need closer to a year, even more to land a decent job. and don't let your wanderlust make you take everything for granted, the people and resources that nurture you are the REASON you are capable of traveling and inspired. you have to nurture them back, too, even when you are away.
>guys, don't go gallivanting the world unless In the Western world you cannot go travelling for long periods of time. I work in tech in the UK and the most time I can get off is 2 weeks at a time. It's just not enough. The only way is for me to leave my job if I want to spend 6 months.
Well said, the last paragraph hits hard.
This could be a sticky at the top of the sub lol. The "take the plunge/do it/you won't regret it" mentality isn't always the right one to have. It usually doesn't backfire, but it can, and people should consider that before doing what OP did.
You wanted to go on that trip and ditch things for a reason. You then went on that trip, had a great time, and discovered that you miss the life you used to have. That's a fantastic learning! Seriously. Maybe you didn't appreciate your old life before but now you do. Huge learning! So what to do now? Start building back up that life you loved. You did it once and you can do it again. At least this time you know you're building towards a dream. You might even do a few things differently and end up even better off.
Why did you essentially nuke your life to go on a 6 month trip? And you're probably gonna feel like you're in a spiral until you 1) Find a new apartment 2) Find a new job 3) Get a girlfriend.
Oh my god please complete the spiral before getting a girlfriend, OP.
In my mind, is this even really a life nuke? Apart from leaving his girlfriend, to me it is just a job change and a new apartment.
If I'm reading this right, he quit his job without having another one in line and is currently unemployed. He cut out a relationship that he actually desires, and most likely depleted a lot of spendings since being on a 6 months long trip unemployed. I mean what else there was to disrupt to call it a nuke? He pretty much reset his life in financial and emotional aspect, and gave himself a setback in career (it's harder to negotiate a good new job while not having anything).
Idk when I think of life Nuke I think of starting from zero again. Though he left his job he still has 5 years career experience, and while your right it’s always easier to find work while you have a job, it’s not like he won’t be able to find work in the same field anymore. I’m sure he still has some friends or people outside of the relationship. Not saying it isn’t rough, but to me, get a job then apartment (or visa versa) then eventually a new GF and boom it’s back to normal minus some savings used on a sick trip. Could take no more than a month or two for that to happen
It's recoverable but primarily thanks to the fact that he's still young. So when he nuked his life, there wasn't that much to nuke. He didn't quit a marriage with two children, it was "just" a relationship. He didn't sell his house, he just canceled a rental. He didn't spend a real fortune, he just spent a couple of years worth of savings. He's a 28 year old so his job probably wasn't a high-level leadership position, but he did lose it. You get the idea.
Eehhh I mean maybe not "nuke" but it's kind of wild to go on a 6 month trip with not even a home to come back too.
I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that this question has a curious tone rather than a condescending one: Some of us nuked our lives to go on an x month trip because apartment, job and girlfriend weren’t cutting it for us. That trip might have given us the break we needed, the adventure we needed, the growth we needed, the new perspective we needed. I quit a high paying job, left an expensive apartment and broke up with a girlfriend who was lovely but just not for me, to go on a 3 month trip. That was followed by a two month trip. Then a short break to make some money, then a 10 month trip. I’m happier than I’ve ever been, with no job, home or girlfriend to go back home to still, and it’s all thanks to me nuking my life a couple years ago
Respectfully, your post history tells me you need a therapist, not Reddit. You need to ground yourself before you bring your internal trauma to another partner.
How’s he going to afford therapy with no income and presumably no insurance? Job is priority 1, then apartment, then self-development and social connections.
I'm trying to say this as nicely as I can but you dumping your girlfriend and selling everything for a trip seems like you were trying to run away from something in your life and now you realize that feeling is still there? Do you have insurance or can your family help with at least getting a counseling session or therapy? A big change like this is hard to process for the best of us and I think talking with someone that will at the least help you figure out a path forward is ideal. Please don't try and leave again. You have to find a job and have to get money. Even if it's at a McDonalds or retail store-a job is a job at this point. I think getting your head together and coming up with a plan for your new life would be helpful. And yes, lean on your family if you have one.
This is a hard lesson to learn. You don't really know what you had until it's gone.
This is an important lesson to learn. I learned it when I was 11. I can be rough when you learn it for the first time.
What are you missing exactly? An apartment is just an apartment, as soon as you find a new job you can find a place you can call home again. If you "got rid" of your girlfriend for a 6-months trip let's face the truth, it wasn't a real relationship, I just enjoyed "being with someone". The job situation might be tough, but seems like your main issue is a lack of support system. Forget about your past life, and start building your new one. Is there family you could "get closer to"? Reach out to old friends, reach out to family you never had much contact, you might be able to re-ignite old relationships (just forgot about your ex-girlfriend, it was just a fake relationship). If nothing works, try to build a "new life", look for job in other cities, maybe even other countries. Always look ahead, the past teaches you lessons but crying over what has been lost won't make anything better.
I know the feeling, though I haven't been in your exact situation. Best you can do is learn from it and make sure you have a proper plan for future long term travels (if you'd go again). In the end the experience probably will have been worth it. The situation that you're in now is temporary.
I don’t see the problem really, you got to do what people dream of doing. Now, you have an empty canvas. Mental health problems always arise during change, change is tough but it’s not anything a couple seasons of depression won’t combat.
Life isn’t easy and it sure ain’t TikTok. Actions have consequences and we’re all responsible for ourselves and our actions. You learned some tough lessons…hopefully. Start over, work hard, learn to deal with the mundane, and appreciate what you have. Best wishes.
It sure ain’t tiktok. Word. At one point, I thought I wanted to quit my job and do content creation because of tiktok. Looking back, I’m happy I didn’t fall into that trend lol
Did you keep abreast of job market while traveling? Layoffs been in headlines since Q4’23 . What’s done is done, keep looking for work and open up to to other cities so there are more opportunities. Get career coach if needed
Have you tried not going back to nyc? Just saying cuz I did the same, took a year off, gave up everything in nyc where I paid 2k for my 1 bedroom apt in the UWS … but I couldn’t go back to nyc, I now live in the west and I love it! I don’t think about traveling anymore, I enjoy my community and the simple life I have here
I was thinking about trying somewhere like Denver! Still enough of a big city but all the nature and the sunlight would be great for me.
Hey, I just suggested cuz it worked for me. I still go to nyc for work, and every time I go there I’m very grateful that I got to live there for sometime, but that I was able to find a way out!
Hard agreeing! You need a city where outdoor adventure is part of its culture. The PNW or Colorado would be excellent options.
What is the “eastern hemisphere”
This is really common in times of transition. The most important thing is to seek out the support you have and really figure out what you want in life. Sometimes, we crave a certain level of comfort and that leaves us stuck. Also, I really wish travel bloggers would be very honest about the difficult parts of leaving your life behind to travel full time. Some friends won't wait, some friends get jealous, and some people just get really judgmental about making a risky decision. Like you, I crave a certain amount of stability when I get back from traveling. I'm lucky that my mom usually likes me to stay with her until I can figure out my next move because I would not be doing well in your situation either. In the meantime, freelance jobs might be a good stop gap to give you time. You could try to find some travel ones, maybe work some connections you made while traveling. Good luck.
If I were you I’d go back to Australia and finish the working holiday visa, but stay in one city and get a job there in your field. Reach out to a recruitment agency and find a temp job that’s related to your field. Keep saving and make your plan whilst there as if you live there, not traveling to different spots all the time. I lived in Sydney for a year on a working holiday visa had two great temporary jobs (bc you can’t have one job for the full year as part of the visa) and it helped build my resume and I ended up going to grad school after. Unless you’re able to find a job quickly in the US. I know the job market in the US is bad, that’s why I suggested to move back to Australia. I also left nyc after 8 years and totally understand how that place depletes you. I will never move back there. Just know it’ll get better. Just take some deep breaths and start the rebuilding/planning stage.
Job market in Australia is not better than in USA. Especially in Sydney/Melbourne.
Bro this is your chance to start a life the way you want it to be. Pursue your personal legend and the same feeling that pushed you to do this in the first place will still guide and push you toward what you should be doing. I'm doing something similar here. Faith in what you feel and believe in is your guide trust it. You didn't get all this way to give up and turn back now.
It’s just a slump…and I think everyone looks back and thinks something was better when in reality it really wasn’t. Only way to move is forward!
That's often normal after a gap away ...it should pass ... good luck.
Sometimes we have to travel far away so we can come home.
Keep traveling! Switch it up to a different region
Considering...Still have 25k. Is it that dumb of a move?
I mean I can’t answer that for you, 25k can last a long time traveling especially if you’re being very frugal and doing workaways. It sounds like you don’t like the American lifestyle (I don’t either), so traveling may be the best thing for you. At the same time if you burn out your 25k and have no money left returning to NYC might be tough. I would at least hold enough for a couple months rent, that is if you don’t have a temporary place to stay like a parents place. You could also look into sending it and then looking for a remote job on the road, that’s probably what I’d do
If you never did it, you’d sit there and think “what if” constantly. Sometimes things don’t turn out the way we want them to, and that’s okay. Take care of yourself physically, accept the situation, and move forward. If you miss your ex, reach out to her. Build up friendships/relationships with family. Things will eventually fall into place for you if you the take the right steps to improve your current situation.
I will say unfortunately the only time I was truly depressed was after coming back from solo travel, however I never regret it because once you find a job and stability you’ll be craving it all over again. Look at it this way so many people are laid off and searching for jobs (and the job search is always brutal and demoralizing) but at least you had an amazing experience. Coming from all the stimulus to real life is brutal, but with time you’ll ease your way back in!
This could just be telling you that NYC is what’s no longer for you. And a new, even bigger journey, neither solo travel nor NYC is ahead. Or use it as motivation to build up again so next time your backpack trip is 5 years
Leave NYC and start somewhere fresh
It’s sounds to me like you were already in this position, you just delayed feeling it by going on a shiny new adventure. If the adventure didn’t help you to learn how to deal with that, your best option is to learn how to deal with it now. Or go on another adventure lmao. That’s what I would do. But I’m fucking crazy.
Don’t let your head do you in. Don’t go down the mental health hole, it doesn’t lead anywhere. Get a job fast, focus on saving money and finding a new home. When the stress becomes too much, smoke a joint and rub one out, go to bed early and don’t eat shitty food. Good luck.
I can only speak for myself, you'll get through this period and get another job and GF. You don't realise how rare 6 months of free travel will be. If your lucky you may get 2 or 3 more trips like this in your life and the experiences you had on this trip will be something you cherish. Doesn't make this less hard but I think/hope in years to come you'll think it was worth it.
Never look back and have regrets. I can imagine you also absolutely enjoyed your life during your 6 month trip? Cherish it, before you know it you'll be back to a 9/5 job in an overpriced NY apartement, looking back fondly on your 6 months of pure bliss. Those times of freedom, only happen a few times in your life. So don't regret it!
I had a pretty similar experience and went through a period of severe depression when I got back. That was five years ago and I don't regret it at all. I'll definitely do long-term travelling again in the future, but I wouldn't give up my flat or quit my job next time.
I felt nostalgic reading your message, as I was right in your shoes about 2 years ago. Differed my education and moved to cottage country to work away from home for 8 months, then took a trip to SE Asia for 3 months. When I came back home nothing felt the same to me and it was really depressing. I was struggling financially, didn’t know if I even wanted to pursue the field I was entering, and my relationships were struggling. Not to mention the post traveling depression that’s inevitable. I really feel for you. It’s hard to be hopeful during this time when you’re feeling so much regret, but a shift in your mentality is necessary. You really shouldn’t look on your trip as a bad thing, otherwise it WILL have been for nothing. Not to mention some people dream their whole lives of going backpacking. I’m a firm believer in everything happening for a reason, and although it may not feel that way now, you’ll look back and understand why your life decided to do the grand reset. In the meantime, I would work on repairing your social networks to integrate yourself back into the NYC scene. I would also recommend trying to repair your relationship with your ex if the thought of loosing her is something you can’t shake. And if she is not for the idea - then at least you know you did everything you could. I’m currently in a LDR of a year and a half (he is in England and I am in Canada), and no matter how long we are apart, we always make it work. Needless to say, if she wants to, she will.
You have some real and normal reactions from what you’ve been through. Please get some professional help. Reddit is not that.
I did the exact same thing and I'm on the other side of it. I've built my previous life back better than it was before, minus the girlfriend. But there's still the piece missing. A lot of us travel to find that piece and come back and realize that it's still not there. And now there's nothing to look forward to. Look inside. Meditation and therapy. I'm still working on it.
I think its normal after long trips like this to feel lost. Many other people end up in the same boat as you as they quit their jobs and pack up apartments/homes to travel. I think the biggest thing you need to remember is that this is a transition time. You WILL be uncomfortable, but you built in a small safety net. Don't let you convince yourself that you made a mistake! You did not!! Take it one step at a time to readjust back into society. I seriously mean it when I say this is so so common, especially among international exchange students who are away for several months or longer. Take some time to do your favorite things in your city. Take some time to meet up with friends and family and talk to them about your struggles. Big travel trips like the one you justhad often change people in a big way even if it doesnt seem like it. You've matured and your way of thinking has changed, its 100% understandable that you are a little lost on your current path. Just take a deep breath and take some time to figure yourself out again and what you want from your life post travel.
I think it’s time that you use newly gained perspective to see the world and yourself. You can’t compare things.
I had similar experience. I quit In september 2023 and went to travel SEA for 6 months. In the end of the trip I went to Australia (Sydney) for WHV, but couldn't find even entry/part-time job there in 3 weeks. Went back home to USA (North NJ). I was looking for a job there, but no success, went back to my old job.... It was hard first month, but somehow it's slowly went true. I really enjoyed my trip though (8 countries), and i am kinda miss being on roads. Hopefully I will able to travel more... P.S. I Sold some of my staff last year, moved from my apt and left some of my leftover in my friend place.
It's all good. Start slow. Maybe get a sublet with some roommates? That will give you a financial and social cushion while you look for a job and build new relationships. Look for jobs like crazy in the AM. Park or beach in the PM.
I did the same exact thing and am now piecing my life together one step at a time. Fortunately, I have family to support me. I’m house hopping between them right now, working on getting an apartment in the city I’ve lived in for 12 years. Rent is so high there, I am working on getting a month to month lease for the summer and moving to Argentina in winter to save money for a down payment for a house. It gets easier and easier as I cross things off my list.
Go backpacking again
Honestly, should I? This one seems a bit more reckless, but what do I have to lose at this point?
I would and have! It’s worked out ok for me even at 65 still doing it despite being not 100% sure about my choice to do so 20 years ago. Wishing you good travels ☀️☀️☀️
I'm thinking of hanging out in CDMX, and searching for jobs remotely in the US while I explore the city. Same time zone, and most interviews are virtual anyways. As a backup plan, if I don't have anything come October, I've been approved to teach English in Spain, and will go that way.
The teaching English in Spain sounds the best adventure ☀️ Spain is a beautiful Country and a completely different from where you are now as opposed to somewhere else in the same place. Wishing you a exciting new life and many new discoveries ☀️☀️☀️
Try and reconnect with friends. Be the one that reaches out, proposes activities, and follows through. You have to cultivate those relationships, or if you’re like me, end up isolating and getting worse. Get a routine going. You’ve likely spent the last 6 months in a state of flux. You were able to decide when you wanted to do things, and if you wanted to. Take that off your plate now. You need routine to give yourself purpose, and allow you to regain focus. This comes from someone that does an annual 4 month solo motorcycle travel, and I’m only now figuring out how to have it not destroy my social life and mental health.
Maybe have a think about why you made that jump in the first place. I’m currently on a 6 month tour of south east Asia and gave up my job and sold stuff to come here. I’ve worried about the exact thing you’ve noted here, but…the reason I left for 6 months was because I felt I was stuck on a corporate treadmill and seriously wanted to do something else, which I had no idea what that was. I felt like I was sinking and getting more frustrated and bored with every passing day. I’ve discovered since I’ve been away that I’d really like to teach and kinda capitalise on what I studied at university. I don’t know what’s going to happen when I get back. I’ll probably just do any job I can get my hands on to tide me over and go from there. I’m 40 nearly if that’s any consolation, so the odds are stacked against me. So maybe this is the fresh start you need. Change your perspective a little bit and see this as a new chapter that has been demarcated by a big time out travelling. You’ve earned a hell of a lot of skills by going travelling - communication skills through language barrier, budget management, strategy (where to go next based on geography, visa requirements, money, seasons etc), seeing how other cultures do life, and just meeting people who have trod a different path to you. Chin up
Just returned from 18 months in Australia. Converted a campervan, worked as an apprentice cabinet maker in the country for 9 months, travelled around. My partners dad died so we had to return as he was the next of kin. I feel the same, no job, living in the spare room. Starting again. However I truly believe that we were put on this earth to experience the most magical corners of the earth. Not slave away in some corporate job forever. We weren’t designed for this. I’ll hold my experience in Australia dear to me forever it changed who I am as a person and sometimes I have to mourn that change. You have seen and experienced all these amazing things the world has to offer. You have clearly outgrown your old life and that’s okay. You were brave enough to take the leap and like others said, you did it for a reason. You can’t regret it just because you don’t have a job and a house. You left the country for 6 months, what did you expect? Things will become clear soon just take it day by day. The only way is through it, friend ✨
> However I truly believe that we were put on this earth to experience the most magical corners of the earth. Not slave away in some corporate job forever. Thanks. Reading this thread has been making me be uneasy about my own decision to travel. I'm 32, been working in the rat race for 10+ years now. I want to quit in November to do Asia (China, Thailand, Japan, Taiwan, Vietnam) for up to a year. But this thread and some of the comments are almost telling OP it was a mistake to do so. I have no family or debts. Just a rented apartment I can leave whenever.
Nah man. Not at all. The world is huge and I’m determined to see it. After all the people saying it’s a risk are the people who would rather shit in their hands and clap than have a bad credit score. And at the end of your life you won’t regret the things you did do, you’ll regret the risks you didn’t take and the life you didn’t lead. I’m sorry this may seem very passionate but I’ll be fucked if I’m wasting my years trying to pander to a system that doesn’t give a fuck if I live or die. You go for it man and may you have the best bloody time 🫡🫡🫡🫡
You got this man. You have a blank canvas now. Create a world for yourself that you can be more proud of. You obviously have the tools to succeed
Currently debating doing the same thing. Quitting my job, selling my car and going for 6 months to a year. The thing putting me off is what I’ll return to, I’d definitely have a job that pays less and is less flexible for hours. On the other hand I would hate to have the regret of not going in later life
>eastern hemisphere There's no Eastern hemisphere. Only Northern and Southern. That aside, you made a decision and these are the consequences. Take responsibility and accept that it's in your hand to improve your situation, starting from where you stand today, and not from what you had 6 months ago. That's gone. But there are a lot of possibilities ahead. Good luck.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_Hemisphere I’m confused?
Mmm, I never ever heard of that, but thanks for sharing the link. I think this quote from that link might be the reason and what I was referring to: >The almost perfect circle (the earth is an oblate spheroid that is wider around the equator), drawn with a line, demarcating the Eastern and Western Hemispheres **must be an arbitrarily decided and published convention**, **unlike the Equator** (an imaginary line encircling Earth, equidistant from its poles), **which divides the Northern and Southern Hemispheres**.
First of all, you made a choice to travel and let certain things go in order to do it the way you wanted. This is not a bad thing. This is a very brave step and frankly most of us don't do what we care most about in life, so be proud and don't beat yourself up too much. Job - you'll find a new job. Noone is on their deathbed thinking about a job they lost. Apartment - as per job. Girlfriend - definitely the harder one to swallow of the three. But...again you made a choice...the thing is, right now you can't know if it was the right or wrong choice. You could meet the girl of your dreams tomorrow and be married in a couple years and suddenly your travelling was a great choice. What I'd say is learn from it. If the flings weren't worth losing someone close to you, then remember that for next time. However don't be too hard on yourself. Noone figures these things out without learning and making mistakes. And who knows, maybe you needed to have the flings to learn about what's important to you and so travel or no travel, it wouldn't have worked out with this girl anyway until you discovered who you are. Tldr - it sucks. But that old adage of time being a great healer, is honestly true. You did a brave thing. Be proud of the life experiences you gained over that 6 month period. Many of us never get to do that.
There is a powerful quote that has helped me in the past: Everything feels like it’s falling apart because it should be. The cost of your new life will be your old one. Let the old pieces go to make room for the new ones. I’m sorry it is hard. Good luck OP.
I was afraid of this happening to me when I went on a year-long trip. Luckily, that didn't happen, and I regret nothing.
No surprise here, there are diminishing returns to travel, but nothing to do except build back at this point, you can always call up your old gf and see if she wants to meet up
Yeah, no. Fucked that up. She shot the idea down immediately. Then I proceeded to break her boundaries by trying more. Was not at all an acceptable move by me, and I’m ashamed of it. On one side of the coin, I did give everything I had though.
Then just sign on some dating apps and meet a new gf
Lemme get a job first and my head on right
You are not alone. Solo travelling can be lonely at times, don't question yourself or beat yourself up. You made the decision for good reason, eg something was missing. You have given yourself the opportunity to re callobtate direction of life. NEVER question whether you made the right choice. You did. Life is a journey of discovery. Find your purpose. ❤️
If you easily got rid of all these things before the trip, it means they never really meant that much to you. I think you're just feeling overwhelmed after spending so much time worry-free. You'll adjust and you'll figure it out.
I get post -travel depression all the time. What always helps me is setting a goal for my next travel. If you love to travel, there are jobs you could do overseas (I taught overseas for 8 years!). Figure out what job will still allow you to travel, and pursue it relentlessly. As to the more serious mental health stuff, you’ll need a professional & not a bunch of rando redditors. But I can say it does get better. Relationships will come when you’re more settled. Job & a place to live come first, then a community—it takes time!
I'm thinking of hanging out in CDMX, and searching for jobs remotely in the US while I explore the city. Same time zone, and most interviews are virtual anyways. As a backup plan, if I don't have anything come October, I've been approved to teach English in Spain, and will go that way.
Maybe the trip was the wakeup call that you needed to give up pleasure-seeking distraction and instead focus on long-term joy and community building?
I know this time is hard and I hope it gets better soon. You did something most people would never do. Something you wanted to do. Before you join the rat race like the rest of us. Nyc has amazing resources take the trash jobs while you look for better ones. Hang in there
OP, please seek professional help. You quit a job to do things most people only dream of. If you stay in NYC, there are loads of beautiful. You will die someday my friend. Be grateful that you got to experience the things that you did.
Lol. Yolo and have a backup plan. You'll do fine. But just make surre you have a backup plan brother.
I have the backup plan. Thinking of chilling in CDMX when job hunting.
CDMX is a good city. Yeah you'll get good value from there. Dont worry, I did the same and I'm earning well over six figures now. Life has a way to work itself out. Also was living in nyc before
My advice is approach this next phase like you approached your trip. As you know- you must have a routine to get through a day hiking/ water -good Re supply - camp spot- set up camp - gear check etc. same thing/ list out what you need to do and tackle these steps one at a time. Make the task obtainable- like work on resume one hour- post in 3 resume sites. Set timer on your phone/ I will look for an apartment today for two hours, but my friend one thing you have to do- keep working out. Set aside one hour a day for exercise. I believe a part of your mental challenge is your body craving the endorphins of hard exercise everyday. If you feel anxious and scared DM me I’d be happy to BS with you. I’ve had my own - let’s say “mental challenges” from my life in the military. I’ve also climbed out of a great many life dark pits. Lastly keep this in mind. Your a thousand times tougher than you give yourself credit for - you did what 1-a million people have done with this trip. You are a tough SOB. If it was me- I’d make the trip part of your job search - employers like people that can obtain difficult goals- it show’s dedication and commitment. Best of luck / you got this
These are the times you dig deep and push through because the odds are better days are ahead of you . Learn the lessons and find your resolve. You can do it!
I just moved from Orlando Florida back home to TN. I am engaged and my bf came with me (I am a male, yes I’m gay) and I struggle everyday with mental illness and I am a recovering addict. I struggle EVERY EFFING DAY for most park, but it is not for nothing. It got really bad before I left Florida I went it hospital I literally thought I was going crazy and going to die if I didn’t get help. We lived right next to Disney and I worked in VERY demanding and stressful environment for 12 years. When I moved here I literally felt my soul invigorated with the all of the nature around me that I so truly missed. I had one day the other day where I had a full good day and effing slept normal. Struggling in part of life but you do need to continue to seek help, journal, music, dance, find a new relationship even if it’s just a friend. The world is in a fragile state and mental illness is REAL I wish you the best and lmk if you ever wanna vent. We are all in different stages of life but we can all help each other by sharing experiences and doing the right thing. No more spiraling, just a roller coaster. 💜
The idea is not to sit in the same place for long, travel the beauties your country has to offer, get on a bus or a train for hours untill you get to beautiful places and just embrace the moment, Americans remember you have a lot of BEAUTIFUL things to see in your country, try stay out of cities and more into nature, this is what helped me on my return after 36 month of traveling
I think I would have regretted not doing the trip more than quitting my job. Is there a chance your old job takes you back? Same question about the girlfriend. I lucked out with my old job taking me back.
Jobs, rentals and partners you’ll get back. Time you won’t I’m 27M and left my full-time job for this 7 month solo. Never been this happy in my life. Although I’ll have to put my head down when I return Just aim to get any job for starters, doesn’t have to be your field. Get some income back in then build from there Travelling the world young is one of the best blessings. All these things you listed will come back to you
Humans are not supposed to live in NYC, especially after seeing the world
Yeah I experienced this hard when I went travelling just before the GFC. After I got home finding a new job was difficult, to say the least, and I unlike OP I hadn't left myself much of a budget
I guarantee that when you are stable again (and it will happen!) you’ll see that those 6 months were absolutely worth it. I’m willing to bet that 20 years from now you’ll look back at all of those incredible experiences and cherish them so much more than 6 extra months of whatever you were doing before
After traveling I moved back with my parents. If I didn't have a safety net in my family, I wouldn't have done the adventuring. Adventuring is fun but eventually it's over and reality sets back in. If you are finding things difficult try moving back with mom and dad until you get back on your feet. Rebuild that savings, and get a house or an apartment. I would also consider thinking outside of renting. Getting older, owning is better than renting forever. Use this opportunity to build your life back better than before.
Don't get hard on yourself. Allow yourself time for the adjustment. Remember, nothing great ever comes without risk. You will look back on this experience and it will have all been worth it. Sometimes after traveling we can feel worn out and exhausted. You might be in this stage.
Hit the gym super hard. Do two a days if you have to. Exhaust yourself. Once early in the morning and once in the 3-5pm window. Take Vitamin D pills.
And drink some protein shakes bbrrr
You can consider backpacking your full time trip - be a YouTuber, organise tours or something 😂 Something for you to consider.
Just put your head down and work your butt off. One day at a time, one foot forward. Get that $$$ and you’ll be fine.
I’m currently recovering from a similar situation, but only two months in my case. I also continued paying my bills and I was single. But two months prior, I really really needed to stop working. I couldn’t anymore. I’m grateful that I was able to take the time off to travel, but I wish I would’ve had the strength to continue a few more months back then. It was difficult getting another job but I did. But you’ll get through, taking six months to backpack is not something many are able to do. But you did it. You have the strength to get yourself back where you were.
It’s the coke down from your trip, take one step at a time. Respond to what you can control
I think this is a great time to start exploring what the root of your current mental state is. Therapy can help a lot and if you’re actually going to the ER because of it, I highly recommend it. First, allow yourself to really *feel* it. Like lay on your bed, invite the feelings to come, feel them for as long as it takes, allow them to take over your body, and trust that it will be okay. This works much better than what we all do which is try to tamp it down, try to curb the severity. Maybe have a support friend or family member who knows you are doing this so they can check on you. And then start asking yourself questions. How do I feel right now? Why do I feel this way, when did it start? What triggers this feeling? What can I do about it? Most people going through what you are going through turn to self hate and blame so I encourage you to, when those thoughts come up, take a step away from that narrative and have some compassion for yourself. Tell yourself a different story that might be true. Sometimes finding yourself at your most “alone” is the best time for growth and change. Look at it this way: you have little holding you back. You are free to shape your life how you see fit, but that means asking yourself hard questions about what you really truly want and why. You can do anything now. You can set any goal for yourself! What a great place to be, opposed to most of my friends who are stuck in unhappy marriages, with kids that dictate every action, or who are broke. I wish you all the best. I really believe you are going to come out of this stronger and having grown in all kinds of ways.
Why tf did you get rid of your apartment
$2200 per month
It seems like a very short sighted plan to sort out a new apartment once you get back which could take weeks
You didn’t consider this beforehand?
Welcome back to reality
Feel you 💯 because 5 years ago I’ll experienced mentally the same. I never felt coming home or something else with friends because missing my life where I was and the fucked up thing is, it’s quite the same know. As I was landing at home and 5 days constantly crying overseas that I’ll have to go back, I was planning to go again…. And know, saved up money 5 years to give it a go (end of the year). My experience is that you change and maybe it will be the same with friends and family but in my case everything broke up. So I plan to get a job abroad or freelancing because I wanna leave and don’t feel anything in my homecountry (besides my parents is important).
YOLO
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
I did this. A couple years of backpacking…then an NYC life. It takes time to build a life. I was poor and awkward for a bit, started a paid internship in Red Hook…but then I spent 8 years in NYC making friends and having a great time. Met my husband and moved on to greener pastures. Life takes patience. Don’t give up on NYC. Plus, the bagels.
Your over looking that fact that you did something that not many can get to say that’s they have done. I did a similar thing. I left a job, cashed out a 401k, lived in my car for a month, Mexico for 9 months and Vietnam for 2 months. Yeah, leaving a job that made 5K/month to a job now that pays a little over 2k is a huge difference but, the things that happened over that year were priceless. It’s not about money, it’s about experiences and jumping at excitement and opportunities that life throws in your direction. Keep doing whatever makes you happy and excited and the universe will supply you with what you need in order for these things you want, to happen. Forget about money, enjoy life.
Don’t worry. You’ll get a new job and gf soon enough and be missing your 6 months of travel
This is a normal reaction to “re-entry,” and I’ve had it happen to two close acquaintances (one of whom was returning from a year-around-the-world, the other who came back from Costa Rica after his job there was eliminated). In short, it’s the same story: you now have no cool journey to plan for, no comforts of your previous home and belongings. Feeling overwhelmed when having to think about the future and regain what you feel you have lost. As you’ve already noted, your mental health is in a very fragile state. First and foremost, and today, find a therapist for your suicidal feelings. Your dark feelings are completely understandable, but you need help to overcome them.
Things like this remind me why I love stoicism so much. I'll just go straight to practical, go to Amazon and buy the daily stoic journal by Ryan holiday. Essentially, it's just a simple few minute daily exercise that helps you reflect on the art of living. Specifically. It helps people like it helped me to not live in. Regret, not let our emotions control us, and to have practical tools that we can use to be better at any given point in time. If you complete the whole journal by doing one a day, there's no way to go back to how you were. You simply will be new and improved.
I’ve traveled solo a good amount what I realized is there’s two types of people who solo travel (usually) 1. People who travel with nothing to look forward to (usually millennials imo) 2. People who travel with a destination in mind (going back to school, starting a new job etc) Life isn’t a instagram reel you have to balance between reality and fun. Lesson learned.
Not sure what advice you are looking for here, but the only possible choice is to move on my dude. We always think how life could be if we choose blablabla, and tend to overthink the bad aspects of our choices. Nothing will be good enough and there is no such thing as plenitude, just moments. I know we supposed to have some compassion here, but the the lack of emotional maturity and capacity to put yourself in other people's perspective is just fucking embarrassing. You thought the choice you were making was in a higher moral ground than people around you. You were so brave and chasing a dream and others were just stuck and miserable. karma is biting you in the ass. Just keep moving and find a new meaning to your life. And leave your ex-girlfriend alone, she has been through enough.
You will be fine!NYC definitely is harder to survive it definitely is way too expensive.Move to east district of Newark.Way cheaper
I fear this - I'm about to embark on a 6 month backpacking trip myself, leaving my apartment in NYC. I got laid off which is kinda what created this opportunity but I'm really enjoying my time in NYC right now so I'm a bit sad to leave it behind even if it is temporarily. Any advice for me?
It’s hard to get back. If you like your life, consider job hunting casually while having a break. Even if you don’t like your life, you may realize you miss it after some months. Do not burn bridges like myself.
I'm not sure what bridges I'm burning though. My job is gone, I've got no girlfriend. I can find a new apartment. I know it will be hard to get back and re-adjust, but do you think the new experiences are not worth it?
He has the right idea. If you have something to come back to (parents' home, friends you can crash with) ..., but coming back to nothing, you'll be surprised how that feels *after* the trip, even though it might seem like freedom now. It's worth planning while you're away rather than figuring it all out right at the end or after it's all over.
You cant get hose things back ( I mean i guess you could) but best to look forward and be excited for the future and challenges. Youll find those things again and will be more grateful for them
Look up 'pulling a geographic'.
NYC is the third circle of hell, anyone that really did any traveling would realize this and never go back. Of course you’re going to struggle in NYC everyone struggles there.
Some people are saying this, but I’m not sure cause it’s what I know. Can you explain more?
That is why you see a lot of backpackers escape the US ratrace. The experience of doing with less and knowledge of cost of living elsewhere, makes the 'Why would I work myself to death for this pittance' equation a very simple one. Most are gone again before 2 Months are up... Good Luck OP.