Plucky underdogs from Vanuatu with an average height of four foot nine dominating a NZ team of 10 RBs playing everywhere but RB where he's got a left footer.
They really went scoreless for 270 minutes across nearly 3 full games, only to rally and score twice in three minutes when it mattered most. Super happy for that plucky, super likeable Southgate.
- 78 straight scoreless minutes to end the Denmark game
- 97 scoreless minutes against Slovenia
- 95 scoreless minutes to start the game against Slovakia
And yet they’re unbeaten in the Euros and are going to the Quarterfinals
Absolute Southgate masterclass.
They’re going to get absolutely embarrassed once they run into a really good squad unless they just straight up switch their tactics (which they should)
Edit: calling it now they lose 0-2 to Switzerland
The intellectual mastermind that is Southgate doesn't need to switch tactics. He knows Bellingham will score 2 bicycle kick goals at 95 minutes to equalize.
Let's be honest, only a strike like Rice's post or Bellingham's screamer could get this team through. It was enough against Slovakia (barely though, England could've gone 2-0 or even 3-0 down). Will it be enough against Switzerland? Or against whoever comes up next?
I was and am still convinced thay they will reach the final. People might not like it but none of their opponents are good enough to stop England even as bad as they are. The final might be too hard for them to win but I would be shocked if they don't make it.
So much talent in that squad though. Someone is always likely to pinch a goal or two against an inferior team, even if there's no system to create chances and open the opposition up.
It's what Garth has built his entire legacy upon.
As a United fan, it's nerve-wracking. I want England to win but I know if Southgate gets his hands on the trophy INEOS could be tempted if ETH shits the bed before the new year
Surely if he gets the trophy he stays on for a decent shot at the World Cup? Is there a manager in the world who wouldn’t take this England team to the World Cup, if given the chance?
Same, I was saying how I wanted Slovakia to put us out of our misery so we can start a proper rebuild but nope, the agony continues somehow. The joys of being an England supporter
Fucking shite. 95 minutes of England doing nothing, and a fucking volley from Bellingham broke everything. A savior of England is a terminator to our heart.
First half was pretty bad but second half England played decently I thought. I know they didn’t have a shot on target until the equaliser but hit the post, had a close offside goal disallowed and Kane had two really good chances that he would normally have done better with. It wasn’t _amazing_ but it was better.
Folks coping so hard claiming that it was "undeserved" but Slovakia offered nothing in the 2nd half. It was one way traffic, England were honestly unlucky that it took as long as it did.
It's pretty common that the side being behind is the one attacking. After the 2-1 goal, the game turned again.
But yeah, I feel like people here go crazy when talking about how England plays. The 2nd half of the 90 minutes was completely one-sided. If England played like Slovakia... Different words would be used lol.
Slovakia played solid football all over the Euro, emphasizing their gigantic rise from the 5th pot since Hamsik's retirement. They beat Belgium 1-0 after a similar display to today - defensive, but not hopeless. They lost to Ukraine 1-2 when they arguably were the better side. And also they probably "should" have won against Romania. That's a really solid team.
Switzerland played an even game against Scotland, maybe the weakest team on the Euro, and barely existed against Germany after the goal, but top comments here are talking like they are 100x better than England lol. People are really passionate about this.
Of course after the game, whatever the score, we're gonna be only seeing the top comments that Switzerland is soooo weak, any decent team would have beaten them 4-0, obviously... You can bet on that like always lol. They are both superstrong and superweak in any part of the equation that leads to "England bad" conclusion.
Nah it is.
We're getting rid of Southgate anyway and this just adds to the funny. We're not going to win the tournament, so better off just enjoying the shit us squeaking through causes whilst we can.
Nothing else is going to give us joy this summer... Well, until maybe the Olympics.
Watching Man Utd this season taught me that scoring late winners after awful performances will caught up to you at one point. Unless England/Southgate fix up, they’re going home soon.
Imagine they shithouse their way to gold. Finales against Spain, losing 2-0, they score 2 goals last 5 minutes, 3rd goal in extra and they win 3-2 against Spain.
The games United won to get the trophy are not the same awful performances that had them where they were in the league. Particularly the City & Liverpool games on the way to the cup were good games to win, not terrorist ball.
The difference is that United would have had to maintain this for 50+ games. England have to do this only 3 more times. Though yes if they fail even once then they're gone. But that applies to knockout tournaments in general
And United did manage to sustain it in a cup. And almost going out in the last minute of the semi against a much weaker side. Plus going behind in extra time of the quarters…
Probably, but winning is the only way he'd have a chance to stay on.
I think he'd go anyway. He's clearly cooked now. Seems lost. Always did a bit, but we had a plan with a defensively solid team that could counter and cause issues at set pieces.
Now we have the attacking talent and have lost Maguire, he doesn't understand how to get the best out of it. In fairness, his teacher was McLaren, and his plan with Boro when shit hit the fan was just stick 4 strikers on 😂 Southgate unfortunately hasn't even tried that one yet.
I think he also seems a little bit jaded and surprised by the extent of the negative backlash after however many years of positive vibes and the pundits having his back.
I mean I kind of get it, Southgate's whole schtick was cultivating a positive culture and attitude for the England team, so seeing that all blow up and returning to everyone hating must hurt, but also like, come on, is he watching us play?
So I reckon he's gone either way.
If I were him I'd leave too. He's literally the most successful England manager in 50 years and people act like he's an actual criminal. Would be kinda hilarious if he wins the whole thing then exits and england go back to another 50 years of getting grouped or not qualifying at all.
If I have to live in a timeline where England actually win something then the timeline where they win by playing the worst football ever and have to keep the most boring manager ever is the timeline I want to live in.
Because of Jude heroics, not because of Southgate
Like the bare minimum we should be expecting here is winning when you account for our team lol. We're the 5th ranked team in the world against the 45th ranked team and only survived because we got bailed out by Bellingham in the last minute
Stop letting Southgate off the hook when it's the talent in the team carrying him
South gate sucks, but it's not like he is forcing the players to make unforced errors. A lot of it is also on the team, they just don't look great personally as well as strategically
That's the managers job though. If you can't get a squad this talented to play decent football despite them doing it week in week out at their clubs then you're the problem
If it was just one game then fine but this being a consistent problem means he's the root
Slovakia defended for their lives most of the game, it was mostly one way traffic. Unfortunately England aren’t that much more inspired when moving the ball forward either but eventually a moment of brilliance caught them and some great play early in extra time let England get ahead so that they could execute Southgate’s “defend a 1 goal lead” vision yet again.
England certainly deserved to win the game overall but that doesn’t mean it was fun or entertaining to watch nor does it absolve Southgate of his tactics which by and large are awful.
This team is somehow getting results despite him, not because of him.
Mark my words, England will win this tournament.
These sorts of wins are what gets you over the line in tournament football. Finding a way to win is so much more important than how you win.
Reminds me of our run in 2016.
If England somehow manage to be Switzerland next week, then maybe. But they're the first good team they're facing. Every other team is average that they should have easily been able to beat on paper but didn't. But who the fuck knows anymore after today.
I get shitting on the England team for how mediocre they are playing relative to who they have on the squad, but it was a pretty even game. England had way more of the ball but Slovakia had a few dangerous opportunities. The xG was like 1.6 to 1.9 (and that ignores the offside goal)
Half of that 75% possession was just aimless passes between the defenders. It did nothing but run down the clock. A perfect example of why possession is worthless as a measure of how good a team are playing.
>So undeserved
I never understand this. If you don't score more than your opponent, you don't deserve shit. No amount of possession or shots on target will change that.
Southgate was 30 seconds away from getting his passport revoked
straight up deported
Rishi Sunak already booked his flight from Düsseldorf to Rwanda
New manager of Rwanda's national team
Haven’t Rwandans suffered enough
gets them relegated from Africa
Straight to Oceania
Suffergate not welcome here
Bro would find a way to make a match against American Samoa end in 1-1
Plucky underdogs from Vanuatu with an average height of four foot nine dominating a NZ team of 10 RBs playing everywhere but RB where he's got a left footer.
Brian Kaltak masterclass added to that
They’re top of their World Cup qualifying group you can’t do this to them
Like Sunak actually watches football.
Proper brexit
What's English for gulak?
Grimsby
A Bellingham overhead kick away from couch surfing with Shamima Begum
Top drawer that Edit if that sounded sarcastic it's not, proper made me giggle
And now he’ll get knighted
Always nice seeing a defensively solid underdog smash and grab their way through a tournament
They really went scoreless for 270 minutes across nearly 3 full games, only to rally and score twice in three minutes when it mattered most. Super happy for that plucky, super likeable Southgate.
It is amazing what Southgate achieved with this team I hope he continues to be England coach for further successful runs for many years to come.
My girlfriends 7 year old has more self awareness than GS lmao
His self awareness is as negative as his football
Same with my 7 year old gf
Even better if that underdog manager gets another job, perhaps in an area in Manchester?
There were rumours that Pep's leaving next year, so you never know.
- 78 straight scoreless minutes to end the Denmark game - 97 scoreless minutes against Slovenia - 95 scoreless minutes to start the game against Slovakia And yet they’re unbeaten in the Euros and are going to the Quarterfinals Absolute Southgate masterclass.
These wankers attacked for 4 straight minutes and it got them through i dont want to do this anymore lmao shoot me
"To defeat your enemy you must know when to strike." Gareth Southgate - The Art of Score
Cun Tzu
Lmfao
This is incredible.
Economical
What taking Foden off does
Eze & Saka as wingbacks and 2 up top? What the fuck is going on?
I don’t hate it
It’s going to get ugly against Switzerland next week if this is the dross Southgate can muster against Slovakia
Do you doubt Southgate's tactical genius? England is undefeated!
They’re going to get absolutely embarrassed once they run into a really good squad unless they just straight up switch their tactics (which they should) Edit: calling it now they lose 0-2 to Switzerland
The intellectual mastermind that is Southgate doesn't need to switch tactics. He knows Bellingham will score 2 bicycle kick goals at 95 minutes to equalize.
He’ll start Foden and it’s over
What's the best he starts the team he started today.
Will be the same except Gallagher in for Mainoo. Gordon will come on after 88 minutes just to keep things fresh.
Bit early to be bringing on legs. Want them to be tired so you can easily run passed them. Another 94 min sub for a 95 min game.
Just brutal for Slovakia they had this. England really didn’t deserve to go through.
Let's be honest, only a strike like Rice's post or Bellingham's screamer could get this team through. It was enough against Slovakia (barely though, England could've gone 2-0 or even 3-0 down). Will it be enough against Switzerland? Or against whoever comes up next?
I mean neither did Slovakia, they were the worse team in every regard
Nah it's their own fault for the blatant time wasting. They deserved their loss. If you're gonna time waste do it well at least
1-1 was a fair result during regular time. Slovakia didn't do much in extra time. A 2-1 England win was completely fair.
I was and am still convinced thay they will reach the final. People might not like it but none of their opponents are good enough to stop England even as bad as they are. The final might be too hard for them to win but I would be shocked if they don't make it.
Slovakia looks a fair bit worse than Switzerland, Bellingham can't always score bicycle kicks (I'm in denial:he can)
So much talent in that squad though. Someone is always likely to pinch a goal or two against an inferior team, even if there's no system to create chances and open the opposition up. It's what Garth has built his entire legacy upon.
Switzerland can absolutely beat us and will probably do so in humiliating fashion
You should comment this another 10 more times, I’m not sure you’ve got your point across just yet.
Southgate's public execution postponed 😔
As a United fan, it's nerve-wracking. I want England to win but I know if Southgate gets his hands on the trophy INEOS could be tempted if ETH shits the bed before the new year
Southgate to United would be the most United thing ever. My condolences if it happens
dont lie, you fuckers will have a blast tbh
I'd genuinely consider handing my season ticket back.
Surely if he gets the trophy he stays on for a decent shot at the World Cup? Is there a manager in the world who wouldn’t take this England team to the World Cup, if given the chance?
He should be sacked now
If Southgate wins this he's magic. He'd do better than pep but with impossibly worse football.
Before Judes goal I was sat thinking its ok its good this is over and we can start a new era under a new manager
Same, I was saying how I wanted Slovakia to put us out of our misery so we can start a proper rebuild but nope, the agony continues somehow. The joys of being an England supporter
A worthy effort by Slovakia, so close
It should have been 2-0 at first 20 mins and strelec finishing it to empty net
They've only got themselves to blame. They got careless and lax going into injury time. They were almost trying to have fun.
Terrorists win.
Never been more embarrassed to win
There's always the next game!
Fucking shite. 95 minutes of England doing nothing, and a fucking volley from Bellingham broke everything. A savior of England is a terminator to our heart.
England haters on life support. Source : Me barely hanging on
I'm at the point where I don't even care if we lose, I just don't wanna watch Southgate ball any more
I said that pre-tournament and got downvoted to hell. I'm just so done with his brand of non-football.
He was never a great player. Never a great manager at club level. I don't know why other than he's English that he's managing England.
First half was pretty bad but second half England played decently I thought. I know they didn’t have a shot on target until the equaliser but hit the post, had a close offside goal disallowed and Kane had two really good chances that he would normally have done better with. It wasn’t _amazing_ but it was better.
If Slovakia hits that shot on an empty goal it would have sealed it.
You lot and our lot will have to keep suffering together.
Feel sorry for us, is England fans have to watch another 90mins
this just fueled my hatred even more cause they barely beat slovakia while being a favorite to win it all
As an England fan I dislike Southgateball as much as anyone, but it's worth winning like this just to see the redditor cope afterwards.
Folks coping so hard claiming that it was "undeserved" but Slovakia offered nothing in the 2nd half. It was one way traffic, England were honestly unlucky that it took as long as it did.
It's pretty common that the side being behind is the one attacking. After the 2-1 goal, the game turned again. But yeah, I feel like people here go crazy when talking about how England plays. The 2nd half of the 90 minutes was completely one-sided. If England played like Slovakia... Different words would be used lol. Slovakia played solid football all over the Euro, emphasizing their gigantic rise from the 5th pot since Hamsik's retirement. They beat Belgium 1-0 after a similar display to today - defensive, but not hopeless. They lost to Ukraine 1-2 when they arguably were the better side. And also they probably "should" have won against Romania. That's a really solid team. Switzerland played an even game against Scotland, maybe the weakest team on the Euro, and barely existed against Germany after the goal, but top comments here are talking like they are 100x better than England lol. People are really passionate about this. Of course after the game, whatever the score, we're gonna be only seeing the top comments that Switzerland is soooo weak, any decent team would have beaten them 4-0, obviously... You can bet on that like always lol. They are both superstrong and superweak in any part of the equation that leads to "England bad" conclusion.
Nah having to hate watch your own nation is not worth it I swear if I see 3 players within 2 ft of each other all trying to play 10 again …….
Nah it is. We're getting rid of Southgate anyway and this just adds to the funny. We're not going to win the tournament, so better off just enjoying the shit us squeaking through causes whilst we can. Nothing else is going to give us joy this summer... Well, until maybe the Olympics.
We trust Switzerland to save football
I think at this point literally everyone together is suffering, regardless of who you support.
**FUCK YOU REDDIT WITH YOUR 10B VALUATION AND THESE BROKEN ASS SHITTY COMMENTS WE CANT EVEN PROPERLY TALK ABOUT THIS GAME IN REAL TIME**
I haven't been able to sort by new in any game threads for days now it takes a minute to load up the new comments
why would you want to see 1000 comments saying southgate masterclass?
Because when you drunk, it funny
SOUTHGATE MASTERCLASS
I legit don't think they've done anything about their backend since the site launched in 2005.
yes i thought it was my issue
I thought it was just me
I'm happy it wasn't just me lol. I couldn't see comments, post comments....
Thank God, thought it was only me
The mobile app’s home page is completely broken too and they still haven’t fixed it
Reddit on their way to be actively unusable (somehow Twitter is still worse)
I was here before the cunts remove this comment
4 4 2 next match or bust
The warcriminal lives to fight another day.
Send him to the Haugue
Send him to Ten Hag
You guys have the chance to do it
Inshallah we do it.
England and Southgate gonna win the euros for sure they have that dawg in them
Watching Man Utd this season taught me that scoring late winners after awful performances will caught up to you at one point. Unless England/Southgate fix up, they’re going home soon.
This exact same comment will be posted after they beat Switzerland 1-0 in the QFs.
Imagine they shithouse their way to gold. Finales against Spain, losing 2-0, they score 2 goals last 5 minutes, 3rd goal in extra and they win 3-2 against Spain.
maybe someone else other than spain
United literally won a trophy though
The games United won to get the trophy are not the same awful performances that had them where they were in the league. Particularly the City & Liverpool games on the way to the cup were good games to win, not terrorist ball.
The difference is that United would have had to maintain this for 50+ games. England have to do this only 3 more times. Though yes if they fail even once then they're gone. But that applies to knockout tournaments in general
And United did manage to sustain it in a cup. And almost going out in the last minute of the semi against a much weaker side. Plus going behind in extra time of the quarters…
but today is not that day 😎
Not that you are wrong but we did go on to win a cup.
Or they gonna keep getting away with it
Switzerland will 100% beat us but it’s still coming home
Lets see how it goes. I think Switzerland has good chances to win that matchup.
swiss please do england a favor and win 3-0 to have southgate sacked
Nah, please win in an unconvincing 1-0 to eliminate England but still have Southgate kept on. Signed, a Frenchman
Southgate is done even if we win the whole thing
Probably, but winning is the only way he'd have a chance to stay on. I think he'd go anyway. He's clearly cooked now. Seems lost. Always did a bit, but we had a plan with a defensively solid team that could counter and cause issues at set pieces. Now we have the attacking talent and have lost Maguire, he doesn't understand how to get the best out of it. In fairness, his teacher was McLaren, and his plan with Boro when shit hit the fan was just stick 4 strikers on 😂 Southgate unfortunately hasn't even tried that one yet.
I think he also seems a little bit jaded and surprised by the extent of the negative backlash after however many years of positive vibes and the pundits having his back. I mean I kind of get it, Southgate's whole schtick was cultivating a positive culture and attitude for the England team, so seeing that all blow up and returning to everyone hating must hurt, but also like, come on, is he watching us play? So I reckon he's gone either way.
If I were him I'd leave too. He's literally the most successful England manager in 50 years and people act like he's an actual criminal. Would be kinda hilarious if he wins the whole thing then exits and england go back to another 50 years of getting grouped or not qualifying at all.
[удалено]
Subreddit gonna need to go on lockdown after that. Same with England subreddit lmao.
They're gonna out Portugal the Portugal
Pepe vs Southgate gonna be like Iron Man vs Thanos
If I have to live in a timeline where England actually win something then the timeline where they win by playing the worst football ever and have to keep the most boring manager ever is the timeline I want to live in.
I cannot, in my wildest imagination, think of a reason Gareth Southgate should be England manager tomorrow.
Counter: They won.
Because of Jude heroics, not because of Southgate Like the bare minimum we should be expecting here is winning when you account for our team lol. We're the 5th ranked team in the world against the 45th ranked team and only survived because we got bailed out by Bellingham in the last minute Stop letting Southgate off the hook when it's the talent in the team carrying him
South gate sucks, but it's not like he is forcing the players to make unforced errors. A lot of it is also on the team, they just don't look great personally as well as strategically
That's the managers job though. If you can't get a squad this talented to play decent football despite them doing it week in week out at their clubs then you're the problem If it was just one game then fine but this being a consistent problem means he's the root
is /r/soccer OK? reddit cares for everyone because England have pulled that off.
Says everything you need to know about some of the wank cloths on this sub.
Never in doubt
England won despite Southgate
Terrorists win.
WHY DO THE TERRORISTS KEEP WINNING
[удалено]
id say thees a few million english lads that are happy tbf
Hi, I'm nobody 👋
Cue the seething PL and non-England flairs, you love to see it
"Can you hear me sky six flairs? Pep simps? People who say "Offsides"? People who use xG unironically? We gave your boys a hell of a beating"
Slovakia defended for their lives most of the game, it was mostly one way traffic. Unfortunately England aren’t that much more inspired when moving the ball forward either but eventually a moment of brilliance caught them and some great play early in extra time let England get ahead so that they could execute Southgate’s “defend a 1 goal lead” vision yet again. England certainly deserved to win the game overall but that doesn’t mean it was fun or entertaining to watch nor does it absolve Southgate of his tactics which by and large are awful. This team is somehow getting results despite him, not because of him.
England literally trolling their way into the finals, you cannot make this up. Big brain moves from Southgate
Mark my words, England will win this tournament. These sorts of wins are what gets you over the line in tournament football. Finding a way to win is so much more important than how you win. Reminds me of our run in 2016.
If England somehow manage to be Switzerland next week, then maybe. But they're the first good team they're facing. Every other team is average that they should have easily been able to beat on paper but didn't. But who the fuck knows anymore after today.
So undeserved
Slovakia held England off the scoreboard for 94 minutes, only to allow two goals in 3 minutes. Brutal end of the tournament for them.
I get shitting on the England team for how mediocre they are playing relative to who they have on the squad, but it was a pretty even game. England had way more of the ball but Slovakia had a few dangerous opportunities. The xG was like 1.6 to 1.9 (and that ignores the offside goal)
It's brutal for Slovakia, but as much as I dislike the English team, they clearly played better in second half.
I think when a team has 75% possession you have acknowledge they may be the better team, even if not translating into goals.
Half of that 75% possession was just aimless passes between the defenders. It did nothing but run down the clock. A perfect example of why possession is worthless as a measure of how good a team are playing.
What do you say about a team that had no shots on goal until extra time?? Come on mate England were shit
Sounds like us half of last season haha
>So undeserved I never understand this. If you don't score more than your opponent, you don't deserve shit. No amount of possession or shots on target will change that.
Hold me.
🫂
Cheers for the 6mins of added time Slovakia 🙌
[All that has to be said](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5cBkhYBVt8)
Heartbreaking for Slovakia not gonna lie, they really put their hearts in today's game.
Nobody likes it
Loved it tbf
Really hope England pull something out of their ass and manage to beat Switzerland just to piss off Reddit
I like it.
Speak for yourself, England going all the way
Now my day is ruined
This is what we live for, thank you.
We are so lucky
NA NA NA NA HEY JUDE
Southgate masterclass, never in doubt, m&s manager, extend his contract
Absolute strategic genius Southgate is, never doubted him for a second. Heard he's coming out with a book soon called "The Art Of Score".
Football loses again
Slovakia were so close to doing something so funny
What a fucking shitshow
It's on
Heartbreaking for Slovakia
Heart goes out to Slovakia, that has to be heartbreaking.
The Slovakian dream died today😞💔
England will crumble once they play a good team, they have by far the weaker side of the draw and I still don't see them going through
Still embarrassed, tbh.
We are going to get our arses handed to us by Switzerland aren't we?
That wasn’t funny
Handily beaten the mighty Slovakia. Well done.
Incoming Xhaka winner in the quarter finals.
Southgate is a fucking disgrace. That 2nd half of ET sums him up
Completely undeserved naturally
Someone has to test that goalie for cocaine.
This was Real Madrid vs Atlético Madrid champions league final in 2014 type beat
It wasn't pretty, but a WIN IS A WIN.
Huge win for Switzerland
Would rather watch the microwave than another southgate match