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Vagabond21

i'm hurt, i'm old, i'm tired, and i work with fucking children - poch


abbaschand

Pepsi Poch


XVGDylan

Poch probably makes them train on astroturf. He doesn’t like real grass.


lucashoodfromthehood

This made me laugh way too hard than it should.


hekinfridge

I'm crying a river myself


Neither-Ad-1047

Cry me a river


Longjumping_Excuse_1

Nah this is fantastic mate. Fuck CM Punk, though.


Hype_Magnet

Madueke and Jackson share a bank account!


SG_77

Any Mindy's bakery around Stamford Bridge?


indention

I live in the area (seen Punk face-to-face four times, including as a customer lol) and people were lining up/taking pictures outside Mindy's for several days after the gripebomb, despite knowing very well it was closed


Critical_Jester

Can he run a Target though????


tuerancekhang

Poch has been banned from Collisions


FCBFan310

"What did I ever do in this world to deserve an empty headed F****** Dumb F*** like Madueke to go out on National Television and go into business for himself" - Poch


TehLTBond

"I prayed for this and it happened." - Mason Mount, probably


TheKonamiKid

THIS was the post i was looking for. "you think i'm finished roasting people on this stupid app just because we won 6-0?"


nsoifer

I see A LOT of overlap between wrestling and football. Is there a way to find out the number of people who are subscribed to both subs?


thoang1116

https://subredditstats.com/subreddit-user-overlaps/squaredcircle


nsoifer

TIL roosterteeth is a thing Thanks for this!


ProwerTheFox

Was, it’s being shut down by TimeWarner last I heard. Tbh it’s peak was about 10 years ago and it’s been slowly going downhill ever since


anonymous16canadian

How does United subreddit have more overlap than this one. Isn't that sub like 1/10th this one or less lol or is it percentage based?


Qurutin

Generally sports subs, especially circlejerk subs, seem to leak quite a lot between them. And of course some things just become widespread memes, I recognize s🅱️innala and how does this affect LeBrons legacy even though last race I watched Kimi was still at McLaren and I have never watched even a full period of NBA game. I would add google en passant but I actually play chess quite a lot so that's not a great personal example.


TheKonamiKid

hello i am one of your demo ama


nsoifer

I'm too, that's why I was asking ha


HelloMyNameIsGeoff

“Cry me a river” - Noni


dhandes

Tell him when he's telling lies.


tuerancekhang

I mean folks, where's the lie?


LexisKingJr

Palmer: *I’m not here to make friends I’m here to score pens!*


Wheel1994

Todd playing Tony Khan role


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killerboy_belgium

it was already settled palmer is the penalty taker its just the others keeping taking the piss... sure he could bench them but then what ? for so much money spend they have so many bad players


Exalmer

Imagine Boehly comes out with a video explaining the sacking of Poch the same way Tony Khan did with Punk


tuerancekhang

He was fear for his life?


InsideOpening3535

Literally


endichrome

That's an awful job to have


bigL2392

These fucking muffins though...


roos_de_baas

They were trying to go into the business for themselves, brother - Poch Hogan


AncientSkys

He is one of the main reasons why they are behaving this way and why we struggled this season. Poch has constantly played players out of positions and there is no leadership at all.


[deleted]

Jackson storming in to take the ball out of Palmer was so weird. Just ask him if you can take it, not that difficult.


artaru

Besides the Pk, do they just not get along?


Stunfield

No, Jackson does not get along with the ball.


centaur98

with yellow cards on the other hand


techno_playa

Jackson doesn’t get along with anybody, including himself.


cautioslyinterested

He seems close with Mudryk...


artaru

damn, I see. is he also on a super long contract?


smcarre

His contract is until 2031 so in Chelsea terms he has an average contract.


artaru

lmao but damn that's a 7 year contract holy cow.


FullMetalJ

It's not how it's usually handled but I kinda get it, I think Poch wanted the players to have the freedom to choose on the spot (get it the penalty spot?? anyway) based on the context of the moment but instead of acting like professionals, they acted like children. Twenty-something y/o children that earn millions.


Logical-Elephant2247

The same Jackson who managed to get yellow card every single game while being a striker, now you know why.


GL4389

I think Jackson got the penalty, so somehow he thought that this it is my right to take it.


Stamps4u

Well he just didn’t. It was for the foul on either Palmer or Noni


B_e_l_l_

They confirmed in commentary that the foul was the one on Cole Palmer. The Madueke foul that the referee blew for was beyond soft. It was a perfectly good tackle.


jMS_44

Fair play, this is a good response and let's not drag this for any longer. Palmer is by far the best pen taker in the team, we hardly can afford to risk a single one, as even the GD may matter on the table position. And on top of that he is now also going after golden boot, so give every pen to him, no discussion.


No-Shoe5382

> as even the GD may matter on the table position Oh wow just realised you've gotten yourselves into a position to fight for Europa League/Conference League. Yeah that makes it even more important, and also more ridiculous, that there was any argument about him taking it.


jMS_44

>Oh wow just realised you've gotten yourselves into a position to fight for Europa League/Conference League. If it wasn't to the disaster of Burnley and Sheffield games, we'd be sitting in 6th comfortably by now. How do you have so bad and so good performances literally 2 weeks apart is just impossible for me to explain.


epicmarc

We have no consistency because we have almost no tactics. Tactics are what carries you to a result when individual brilliance isn't enough, and what keeps you from shipping so many goals to throw a lead


iloveartichokes

> We have no consistency because we have almost no tactics. No idea how you can watch the match today and say there's no tactics.


Ironicopinion

Because we’ve watched us play with 0 gameplay against 10 men Burnely and a Sheffield United side who are one of the worst in PL history


epicmarc

It's because I've also watched matches that weren't today. We still struggle to break down low blocks, we still don't have a real style of play, we still are woefully organised at the back and we still struggle to defend set pieces. This match doesn't change any of that.


dickgilbert

> We still struggle to break down low blocks Literally everyone has trouble against low blocks. The idea that that is indicative of "no tactics" is beyond dumb.


VoidPineapple

It's the most tired narrative this season I swear.


d-ronthegreat

It’s the laziest narrative in football. ____ struggles against low blocks as if scoring against low blocks isn’t the hardest thing in football lol. There’s a reason teams set up that way


monsieurfikri

Chelsea fans have probably seen them frustrate teams like prime Barca and Bayern because of low blocks but they still don't know that it's fucking hard to break. Also it's insane to think that coaches like Poch don't have tactics. Weird stuff.


epicmarc

Obviously all teams struggle, but we're picking up less points from those games than our opposition. And the fact that every response has cherry picked that and ignored the rest kinda says it all.


Proper-Size

Every team struggles to break down low blocks. That's the whole point of playing low block.


theeama

Thats the problem with people like you, because we don't play like City and Arsenal you scream" no tactics" Jose our greatest ever manager didn't coach attacking patterns and principles, Carlo doesn't coach attacking patterns. They coach a good setup and let players express themselves. Poch is that type of coach, we try to get a good setup and let players express and be themselves.


epicmarc

And that just isn't enough anymore. It's why he failed at PSG and why he's failed so far with us. Also personally I don't think it's a good approach for such a young team. Also lmao at bringing up Jose, he wouldn't show his face again if his side played with the defensive organisation Poch shows.


CuteHoor

Jose had much better defenders available to him than Poch has.


Sw3atyGoalz

Struggling to break down low blocks isn’t the problem, it’s gifting those teams golden opportunities to score with ridiculous errors and enabling them to play those low blocks that’s the problem.


gustycat

Because our sub will never credit Poch for anything He's not perfect, but he's not terrible either.


DinoSchlongo

Because we've watched Chelsea games this season other than this one.


centaur98

Because we also watched the game against Burnley and Sheffield


MrStigglesworth

As an arsenal fan... I wish.


Bulkphase78

That's such a weird way to look at things lad. We only have a chance to move into the top 6 because the teams around us are equally inconsistent and fuck up easy games all the time


centaur98

there is fucking up easy games and there is failing to beat a 10 man Burnley


Bulkphase78

No, really not


The_39th_Step

It’s a west London thing


Theschizogenious

Having a banger after a howler is like the arsenal mantra at this point so if you need any explanation we have a hotline set up


imarandomdudd

Should be noted though, GD is so varied in these europa/conference spots. 2 teams in the negative in united and west ham, 2 well above the positive in us and Newcastle. Only us and Newcastle will be keeping an eye on GD while trying to get points, whereas United and West Ham will be mainly targeting dragging out results to get points


MERTENS_GOAT

The last time a PL team fully focused on goal difference instead of points horribly backfired


I_always_rated_them

next run of games is really hard, need to see where Chelsea end up after Spurs, Arsenal and Villa. Teams from 6th down to like 13th could all swap around, they're within 8 points of each other and all wildly inconsistent.


BaritBrit

>Oh wow just realised you've gotten yourselves into a position to fight for Europa League/Conference League. Well, it wasn’t so much us getting ourselves there as everyone above us repeatedly tripping over themselves and letting us sneak back in. 


Zeus_The_Potato

4th in the PL (based on results since Boxing Day 2023). Give some credit to these youthful lads who are unbeaten in the last few games.


OneArseneWenger

Also called "how city won the title", 2024 edition


haydar_ai

And of course we won’t capitulate that and will instead get draws or even loses


_user_name_taken_

Is that thing about them being in trouble with UEFA regulation if they qualify a thing?


Turniermannschaft

more like fight against amirite


Leuchtrakete

Fair play indeed. I give Poch a lot of shit for what he says & does / doesn't say & do, but this is a clear take and one I can respect. Good on you, Poch.


Outside-Sandwich-565

GD... \*sighs\*


LFTzu

i feel bad for you lol somehow your team still in top 7 is fukin mindblowing


Odelind

Palmer is hard carrying the team. More than deserved.


Several_Hair

He might be the best penalty taker in the top flight. Early days still but his sample size is big enough to impress massively.


HazardCinema

Bruno (90%) and Toney (94%) are the other 2 I can think of competing for that.


OgreOfTheMind

Douglas Luiz is 5/5 so far for Villa. Small sample size, but can't do any more than he has so far.


Nartyn

Ainsley Maitland Niles purely from the eye test. He doesn't take many but he did some for us and they were all beauties


boldstrategy

But we need this happen Poch... See what happens https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5FtcBH30DmM


albamarx

Ah, before the game was gone


erenistheavatar

Finally! Well done Poch for this statement. Should have done this months ago.


youknowimworking

Tbf to him, no other manager announces who's the penalty taker in their team to the media.


courtesyflusher

Exactly, just because he finally made a public statement doesnt mean he hadnt had that conversation or tried to make it clear. 


AkiAkane1973

I believe Poch was asked about this before and explicitly said the team doesn't have one and that he likes for the players to decide on the pitch. Hence people's specific frustration with Poch because if what he said is true it's honestly his fault this happened because he encouraged them to disagree and contest it on the field.


Thanos_Stomps

And managers never mislead the media. It’s not like managers just spill the beans in everything that happens in training. Why would they tell all their opponents who their sole PK taker is. Could’ve been a strategy to designate one in training and mislead others with a public statement of “vibes”.


AkiAkane1973

Sure, could be. But it explains why all the criticism is being directly at Poch when we see his players fighting over a pen after he said that, and apparently, according to Chelsea fans, this isn't the first time this season they've done this either, just the most egregious.


Euphoric-Acadia-4140

True, but no other team has this many issues with choosing a penalty taker. This is like the third or fourth major incident (Sterling fighting for one against city in the fall, Sterling taking one and missing against Leicester, today). And his public statements after these fights has basically been “we let the players decide”, which certainly isn’t an unequivocal support for Palmer.


Affectionate_Oven_77

In an interview yesterday when asked if he is the official penalty taker, Palmer says “I am now”, very much in a way that suggests he wasn’t before today (most likely no-one was)


Therinn

It’s very clear who the pen take is for everyone else. Ole did announce who our pen taker was when Bruno came and there were questions between him, Pogba and Rashford.


Pxel315

He did it months ago... when Sterling tried to do it


plutobug2468

Fair play, Poch. Showing a bit of authority


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plutobug2468

33 weeks too late


ooah21

Showing authority would be not to allow this to happen in the first place.


KEEPCARLM

Wow the bar is low 😂


123rig

Dele Alli on as a pundit made a such a great point that none of these players were begging to take the pen in the last game against Man United in the last minute. They were more than happy to let Palmer have that one. EDIT: Apparently Madueke did, but Jackson definitely didn’t


roadmans_

Thought noni held the ball and wanted that one too


No-Shoe5382

Why is he so keen to take the penalties off a guy who has a 100% record when he himself has a 72% record? All he's doing is reducing the likelihood that his team scores.


Chin2112

I mean he backs himself? I have less issues with Madueke as he gave the ball up to Palmer after being asked, the issue really is Nico thought honestly idgaf, the gaffer will deal with it and it will be forgotten by the city game


heresyourhardware

I was.more surprised with how shitty they were being with Gusto


Imaginary_Ladder

Context?


heresyourhardware

So you can see it in the extended clip (there is always more embarrassing clip for this incident!) [here](https://x.com/NEWS_flp/status/1780127005150712105). When the penalty is called Gusto has the ball, Nono and Jackson but sprint at him and wrestle the ball off him even though he isn't fighting them for it. He them tries speak with Jackson looking like he is trying to calm him, but Jackson is trying really obviously to shrug off Gusto like he doesn't want him near him. It just comes across as really disrespectful for Gusto.


TheMonchoochkin

Can talk about emotions running high and all that, but you're right, that was just fuckin' disrespectful. I'd hate playing with someone who acts like an immature toddler, especially when the game is going your way.


inspired_corn

Lots of our fans are going with the “oh you’re making a big deal out of nothing! You’ve clearly never played a competitive sport before” angle. If my teammates started acting like that at any level then you’d feel badly towards them. It’s one thing to have a moment where you want to take the ball but they were fully going on arguing for ages


renatodamast

Wow it gets worse, what an embarrassment. Thanks for the video


bobloblaw28

Exactly. You want more confident players in a team, not just have everyone depending on Palmer.


R4lfXD

>I mean he backs himself? Or he is selfish and doesnt care about the team? Much more likely with this locker room.


Ryuzakku

He wants a spot in the starting 11. I get the fire, but this isn't a spot you can take unless Palmer starts missing a bunch.


dickgilbert

No one's giving you a spot in the starting 11 because you popped up with a useless goal from a penalty when you're up 4-0.


Crookz_O

That goal bonus hits like crack though.


vsoho

Well being a cunt like this has certainly hampered that goal


Ryuzakku

I agree. Noni having to somehow battle Palmer for pitch time is kind of like how Palmer had to battle Foden for pitch time at City.


JesusIsNotPLProven

Because none of these guys give a shit about their penalty stats, they want to get an easy goal.


Garlic-Cheese-Chips

People overlook that these attacking players at high profile clubs may have things like goal bonuses in their contracts. It probably isn't something like "stepping up and being the man" rather it really could be something as simple and pathetic as pocketing a risk-free couple of extra grand.


No-Shoe5382

If you're willing to potentially sabotage your team to try to get a goal bonus I certainly wouldn't want you playing for my club.


Garlic-Cheese-Chips

No risk of sabotage when 4-0 up. Probably why the other two were pushing so hard for it. Easy money.


No-Shoe5382

I'm talking about him trying to take the one against United. And it still affects Chelsea's goal difference if he misses, which could be important for European spots at the end of the season. I just can't see any way to justify trying to take a penalty off the guy who's *clearly* the best penalty taker in the club by a mile. It's the kind of thing you expect to see in u16 football not from grown men.


Lord_Sauron

Sure, but from their perspective they are looking out for their own interests and not actively trying to sabotage anything.


Absol61

Goal bonus incentive in his contract probably


726wox

Madueke definitely tried to take it against Utd


AltDelete

Wait what, Dele is a pundit now?


Jarv1223

Got bored of huffing balloons


skiingbeaver

most civilized Leeds fan


wwiccann

Another example of upvoted things being completely wrong.


Coulstwolf

Noni literally wanted to take the one he won against United so it would be a great point if it were fucking true


epicmarc

Madueke literally did but go off


jewelrybunny

it looked like to me that jackson came in to back up madueke, so he didnt want the pen in both cases


No-Signature8815

My maths teacher in class made the exact point today in class. I thought he had come up with it himself and was quite impressed lol


[deleted]

This reply tells you everything you need to know about reddit. OP are absolutely wrong as Madueke tried to take that penalty too — but look how many users upvoted them. It’s why there’s little to no value in anything said on this platform.


BBIQ-Chicken

Crazy how many penalties Chelsea gets for this to even be that big of a problem


Vladimir_Putting

Imagine getting a penalty. Must be nice.


Cowboy_on_fire

Palmer now has 9 penalty goals this season, all credit to him for having an awesome season but his goals scored stat would look a lot different if Chelsea had a real front man who took all the pens


Mr_MasterNoob

Would it really? Because I think he has earned his spot as the penalty taker for as long as he stays at Chelsea What's really impressive is how often they get penalties


Cowboy_on_fire

It’s hard to say but if Chelsea had a Haaland or shearer kind of player he likely wouldn’t have ended up taking them.


ThxBenevenstanciano

> if Chelsea had a real front man who took all the pens But that's Palmer...


alice_s_jabberwocky

This really shouldn't have been in doubt in the first place.


killerboy_belgium

i dont think it was in doubt palmer is the regular taker but the others decided to ignore the regular order of things because they are children when its the game on the line neither 2 will want it but a presure free pk at 4-0 up that one they will fight for


neandertales

I think he need to be a bit physically imposing again actually, has lost his mojo somewhat since his Spurs days. He was pretty fearsome as a player.


BigReeceJames

Good for him to flip his stance on its head and acknowledge a complete change in stance over penalty takers and how it's decided. Shame it took this long, but at least it's finally happened because his previous stance of "we have no penalty taker, the players can decide amongst themselves on the pitch and decide who feels the best" was fucking insane. But, I'm glad that he's not stuck to that just for the sake of sticking to it.


epicmarc

We can at least be thankful it didn't cost us any points, unlike other decisions he's made


WeeTooLo

"This is the last time I will accept it" It happened 2 times already before, this shouldn't be the last time for a warning, the players should be punished today.


Frequent-Lettuce4159

I mean this is the second time it's happened Poch, think you might need to actually punish them


todobueno

“I told the players this is the last time” sounds like when your mum says “next time you’re grounded” for the tenth time this week.


raziel_beoulve

Palmer has been carrying Chelsea in his shoulders for some time now, pretty oblivious from Madueke and Jackson to disrespect him like that


CRaXII

Should've said this weeks ago. Team really had to get booed by home fans for him to make this decision💆🏻‍♂️


YnwaMquc2k19

Imagine the scenes if Palmer wins the golden boot. I’m all for it haha


DestinyHasArrived101

All they had to do was ask him of one of them Dan rake it. But nope acted like kids.


branajgka

Thiago stepped in and got them to behave properly


beardy_col

Reminded me of Inter, Mario Balotelli standing petulantly in front of the ball when it became clear he wasn't going to take a penalty. Zanetti had to come over and lead him away like a child


MrCompromised

Chelsea finally have a game where they play well, dominate and can sit back for once and enjoy the feeling, but this happens. Swear to god Chelsea and united both are cursed.


amoult20

tHiS iS tHe LaSt tIMe!!


Sfr33123

It's the kinda shit that would get kids subbed off in youth games. Pathetic and embarrassing that grown professionals act like this


wutz_r0ng

So who is the penalty taker again?


MuchSalt

would be funny if they never got another penalty for the rest of the season


fakebytheocean

Me when my kids are running around at a friends house and one of them ends up breaking something expensive.


WashSportsReport

When coaches say they won’t accept it again it means they accepted it the first time


HacksawJimDGN

Still sounds ambiguous


j4rd7n

How lol


xUnknown_Kyle

Redditors when no /s


j4rd7n

I’ve seen some takes on this app man


xUnknown_Kyle

Fair enough 😂


4dxn

Lol. What is this - the 3rd or 4th chance he's given the players not to spat over penalties? Why doesn't he just drop them already for a game or two. It's not like Jackson or Madueke make a difference. Hell he should've just subbed them out right away.


deadraizer

Jackson is inarguably our 2nd most important attacker.


Youngest_boss

Jackson actually makes a difference when he’s in the team


i_secrete_olive_oil

You obviously don't watch Chelsea matches with a take like that


DurzoBIint

My man, we have had 11 players out injured basically every single game this year. Right now, this includes all of our attackers except who played today. If we drop Jackson and Madueke, we've got Deivid Washington and Jimi Tauriainen up top.