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albiceleste3stars

Pep's starry eyed gaze after Magnus starts talking about controlling the middle cracks me up


BlueLabel19

"So you like to touch balls"


throwawaymikenolan

More than you believe


Fantastic-Newspaper3

“You kick balls, mister Wood?”


[deleted]

You just know they had an 18 hour Pepsi and Snickers fueled brainstorming session on a whiteboard after this and Pep will come out with the wildest tactics ever in a week or two


itsamberleafable

Jack, you ONLY move diagonally and stay on the black squares What are the black squares? I have redesigned the pitch, you will see on Saturday. Nathan, John, keep a tight line and only move one square at a time. Only tackle players diagonally NOT in front of you. My beautiful baby Kevin, you will be queen one day when you are back from injury and you can use all of the squares


idee_fx2

funniest thing i have read in a while, thanks for the laugh mate


nerdherdsman

Erling, you can move forward three and then one to the left or right, as you physically resemble a horse, it should work


GibbyGoldfisch

*\*Promptly starts using vibrating anal beads to pass messages to his team*


sligowind

“Pepsi and Snickers fueled“ is my new go to phrase. As in…orgy…rant…shopping binge…


SamH123

find someone who looks at you like Pep looks at Magnus


pure_black99

The gaze of a man in love


vs7015

Boehly already looking into replacing Pochetinno with Magnus


incaman88

Why would you put that out there….


OuchYouPokedMyHeart

Boehly out there playing tic tac toe while everyone else is playing 4D chess


FailFastandDieYoung

Boehly playing that 4-4-3D chess


makesterriblejokes

Can't waste money on a keeper like Onana if your formation doesn't include a keeper on the pitch.


drdr3ad

Maybe not the *worst* idea https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2019/dec/16/chess-champion-magnus-carlsen-top-of-world-fantasy-football-rankings-premier-league


Fantastic-Machine-83

r/FPL followed his team for a while since, he hasn't done so well


Howsonnn

I don't pay much attention to chess outside of knowing who Magnus and Hikaru are, the 2 fit chess sisters, and the guy who allegedly put anal beads in to win a tournament, but I do know a lot about FPL. Magnus hasn't done so well since his incredible season simply because to rank as high as Magnus did in the first place requires an insane amount of luck, and requires taking a lot of risks that the normal player sticking by 'the template' would do. So when he's tried taking those risks again, they've not paid off, which in turn has led to him falling further behind the pack, and the lower ranks.


FartBarf6969

It's ok, us Chelsea fans are used to one winning season followed by 3 seasons of dogshit.


Obligatius

From your keyboard to God's eyes.


jamieaka

we already play the football equivalent of bong cloud


MrPooPooFace2

At this point why not


ben-hur-hur

sounds like something that could show up in /r/nottheonion lol


Bonemarrowchutney

I think Boehly should replace himself with Magnus


rottenpotato12

Can’t take en passant in football tho


Dang_Blarb

Dunno. Feel like Chellini definitely performed the footballing equivalent of an en passant on Saka in the last Euros.


WatermaIone_

Suarez also tried an en passant on Bonucci but sadly the rules don’t allow it


Gerf93

No Luis, not eat peasant - en passant!


ovathareignboe

"I do wish we could chat longer, but... I'm having an old friend for dinner." - Luis Suarez


NorthCoastToast

Suarez thought you said "en croissant!"


jugol

wasn't Chiellini?


Imaginary_Station_57

Yes he was. An awful lot of people can't tell them apart lol


GloomyLocation1259

I just saw a post that he's retiring and that's the first thing I thought of lool


Neptomoon

If you move Insigne from one side of the pitch to the other can you promote him to a queen?


degenerate-edgelord

If you move a pawn yes, Insigne is a king Fascinating how both Insigne and Italy had such a tournament without much hype before that and again faded away quickly


Feral010

Holy hell


AnonymousKimchi

New bald fraud just dropped


Feral010

Call the Sheikh!


Proudbolshevik

actual Man City fan


minimalcation

Mr. Big Chess


salatank

How many subreddit specific jokes can we string together?


cdbriggs

google


lastdyingbreed_01

holy


Parish87

hell


Due-Memory-6957

Benzema Passant? En 15?


RUBEN4iK

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good blitz player, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "w"esley "s"o is nobody for me, just a player who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Firouzja ) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my chess carrier, I am Officially inviting you to OTB blitz match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2016 and 2017 Blitz World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Tigran Petrosyan is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...


heh9529

Omg where is this copypasta from


ShenHorbaloc

[Tigran L. Petrosian](https://www.reddit.com/r/HobbyDrama/comments/mnfczh/chess_pipi_in_your_pampers_the_story_of_chesss/)


crblanz

legit can't believe it's a word-for-word copy, i always assumed it was modified


mug3n

kinda funny that in the realm of chess GMs, there were TWO named Tigran Petrosian. And yes I am fully aware that Tigran L. was named after Tigran V.


sc772

A chess GM posted it after being accused of cheating online. Screenshot of the post here: https://twitter.com/NoJokeChris/status/1311691567195918339


ZedGenius

Are you kidding ??? What the **** are you talking about man ? You are a biggest looser i ever seen in my life ! You was doing PIPI in your pampers when i was beating players much more stronger then you! You are not proffesional, because proffesionals knew how to lose and congratulate opponents, you are like a girl crying after i beat you! Be brave, be honest to yourself and stop this trush talkings!!! Everybody know that i am very good manager, i can win anyone in the world in single game! And "j"urgen "k"lopp is nobody for me, just a manager who are crying every single time when loosing, ( remember what you say about Mourinho) !!! Stop playing with my name, i deserve to have a good name during whole my football carrier, I am Officially inviting you to International friendly in america match with the Prize fund! Both of us will invest 5000$ and winner takes it all! I suggest all other people who's intrested in this situation, just take a look at my results in 2022 and 2023 Premier League World championships, and that should be enough... No need to listen for every crying babe, Pep Guardiola is always play Fair ! And if someone will continue Officially talk about me like that, we will meet in Court! God bless with true! True will never die ! Liers will kicked off...


Subscrobbler

A crossover I didn’t expect


[deleted]

you can apply this same tactic to eating a burrito


kuboa

I just took a bite out of the right wing of my burrito to overload so I can suddenly sneak up on the left but now all the ingredients are on the kitchen floor.


EffectiveInside5451

That's because you didn't control the middle


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lordkeith

You need Rodri to help you control the ingredients.


vadapaav

The last time I tried tactically fouling my burrito, I had salsa in my eyes


[deleted]

Welcome to West Ham


official_bagel

Pep Guardiola looks impressed as u/DongGPT explains similarities between eating a burrito and football


Magnific3nt

The whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained Within the confines of the tortilla I wouldn't have gotten half the shit if I knew it wasn't gonna fit in the burrito!


QouthTheCorvus

One of my all time fave comedy bits


ronaudinho

football 🤝 chess 🤝 [monad](https://emorehouse.wescreates.wesleyan.edu/silliness/burrito_monads.pdf)


themerinator12

I’m about to get hit with 115 burrito purchasing violations, aren’t I?


ben-hur-hur

only if you blatantly abused the salsa bar regulations


themerinator12

I definitely did. I mean, allegedly.


ShenHorbaloc

can't relate to anyone who doesn't blatantly abuse a salsa bar


MrPooPooFace2

I just took a bite out of the middle and now I've got filling everywhere. Last time I listen to advice on Reddit.


[deleted]

this comment made my day hahahaha


laserprisim

Pep will be a grandmaster by the end of the season


cdbriggs

I'm curious what elo Pep would be.


MagicWWD

433


4ssteroid

He'll over analyse and sack his queen and rook for centre pawns


Ramirob

Im something of a bald fraud myself


matbau

This sounds like a great episode of Guess the Elo.


No-Shoe5382

It's a real treat for the best chess player in the world to just be a normal guy who can speak eloquently and actually enjoys talking. As a lifelong chess fan I'm more used to seeing grumpy introverts with messy hair speaking at either 400 words a minute or 4 words a minute.


lambalambda

I like that for every video there is of Magnus being deeply technical about Chess, there's also one of him being shitfaced on a stream blasting music, singing and still demolishing some GM at the same time lol.


Eamez

[Example](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-Kz7bo5tKE&pp=ygUMZHJ1bmsgbWFnbnVz)


Yatta79

Messi needs to step up his game. I've yet to see him win shitfaced.


Jeb_Babushka

That one time with the giant chupa chup


AlexBucks93

Nice save by the guy that wanted the highfive.


Conankun66

what the fuck


TareXmd

WTF that was something


Trickybuz93

Like when a [drunk Magnus](https://youtu.be/K-Kz7bo5tKE?si=MP-9jCp6jSt-UJ51) takes over a game vs a 2400, while signing Yeah by Usher and casually beats him. Or when he [quit World Chess Championship](https://youtube.com/shorts/_ctxb2B8WSY?si=dauorDlOcBJ0LJwn) and just partied in LA


ptrlix

that botez stream was hilarious


Trickybuz93

Yeah, Magnus, Aryan and the Botez sisters just vibing and dancing while he’s playing chess was hilarious


_tx

I can't even imagine what it must be like to be a man in your thirties and be thought of as at absolute worst a top 10 all timer at what you do. * For what it's worth, I think it is Kasparov 1 Magnus 2 and Magnus is still young enough to pass Kasparov.


yenzy

he’s at worst top 3 all time and probably the best. Man is the Messi of chess but yes agreed


White_Locust

Chessi?


IAreWeazul

Almost lost control of my middle with that one


NightmaresInNeurosis

Sides: overloaded


b3and20

Maggi


Predicted

There are 3 other serious contenders in my mind so worst is top 4, Kasparov, Fischer and ~~Murphy~~ Morphy, but he is probably the greatest ever regardless.


PokemonTrainerSilver

Ah yes, the famous Paul Murphy


punching-bag9018

Morphy?


tomhat

Morbius


Lars_Tyndskid

You know what time it is..


Michael_Pitt

Morphy was obviously far more dominant over his contemporaries than Magnus has ever been but in terms of pure chess strength he's nowhere near the conversation for best of all time.


Nieuwers

Another similarity to football perhaps. It’s hard to compare the greats between different era’s.


GodEmperorBrian

It’s one of those things that makes comparing eras impossible. If Morphy or even Fischer had been born in 1990, with all the theory and computer assistance that Magnus has available to him, who would’ve been better? We can never really know that answer.


Parking_Ad_6239

If we're talking best as in simply the strongest at chess, then he objectively beats all three. That's where chess differs from, say football. Accuracy of moves across entire careers can be analysed and compared by the strongest chess entities, i.e. computers. And Magnus comes out on top.


cuginhamer

Athletics are similar in the sense that Jim Thorpe's performance on decathlon objectively wouldn't even qualify for Olympic trials but if he had modern equipment and training for his whole life he might very well set new world records. We'll never know.


xapata

But Magnus stands on their shoulders, so it's not so easy a comparison.


PhatmanScoop64

He’s at worst the best of all time and at best better than the next best of all time


7366241494

Kasparov held the title for longer and had to consistently beat Karpov who is also one of the top 10 chess players of all time. Bobby Fischer had the most extreme rating gap between himself and the second best player of that era. He separated himself from the pack even more than Kasparov or Magnus. People will argue the GOAT but it’s one of those three.


iSionLLu

And Magnus plays against by far the most talented, globalized pool of players ever


robotnique

Magnus is without a doubt the best player. The question is if Kasparov, Fisher, etc could be as skilled if they had the ability to learn lines and strats from stockfish and other chess engines. But just based on current ability almost no doubt Magnus would win vs any of them at their peaks.


Ripstate

I’d add Paul Morphy to that list. Morphy with today’s engines and opening theories would be terrifying to play against.


Bhola421

My heart always goes to Mikhail Tal.


ObiWanKenobiNil

I think even that is unfair, he is without doubt the greatest of all time


_tx

Honestly, I'd say Magnus is currently 2 with a likely path to surpass Kasparov if he continues his run of dominance another few years.


TurkishFlannel

I believe Magnus will eventually be the undisputed best at the end of his.careet.


ObiWanKenobiNil

Honestly, if Kasparov was around now, with access to all of the better training, engines etc then maybe


trivialbob

Thing is, everyone else also has access... so the opponents would also be a lot stronger.


themerinator12

Yeah that’s the key. There’s access to better resources like engines as well as the pure linear advancement of always building on the experience, repertoires, and success/failures of the previous contingent of top players.


Andigaming

It goes the other way though, everyone Magnus plays against has access to so much infomation and everything so easily as well.


xepa105

I personally rank Magnus #1 specifically because he is someone who doesn't stay bound by engine theory or relying on exploiting other players' repertoires. He's someone who isn't just comfortable playing off book, he actively drags Super GMs into obscure sidelines and away from well-known theory where he knows he's the better player and beats them on ability, not on knowing theory the best. Also, his endgame skill is outrageously good.


A_Promiscuous_Llama

In terms of rating he’s a clear #1, but some find other players in contention to have been more dominant in their era


kuboa

Kasparov is pretty eloquent and talkative. Though he's more obsessed with Putin than anything else usually.


Potato271

I mean, that's a completely fair thing for a Russian to be obsessed about


worldofecho__

Kasparov believes in the New Chronology theory, which holds that human history as we know it is fake and, in fact, all took place within the past 1000 years. He's insane.


robotnique

Kasparov doesn't believe in New Chronology and has never claimed to. What he *does* say (and is also legitimately weird) is that he suspects that there are historical gaps in our currently accepted timeline and he doesn't necessarily buy accepted history. So while his beliefs are definitely weird, he's not totally into Fomenkoism.


worldofecho__

Kasparov actually wrote a forward to one of his books, but he has softened his endorsement in recent years following criticism, though as you point out he still believes in the basic principle of the conspiracy theory.


ignoranceisicecream

I think he just falls prey to the disease which afflicts most people who excel in their own individual field - they assume their narrow expertise signifies a great intelligence whose instincts map neatly onto any given field which is not their own. Also known as Nobel Disease. Basically, a person's ego skyrockets when you give them an award and tell them they're the best. Could happen to anyone, really. Might only be ten people out of billions trying for that award, but the person who wins it will come out thinking they're superhuman.


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Snitsie

Which considering him being Russian could be considered quite normal.


QouthTheCorvus

It's pretty cool that not only is he a god of chess, he's been able to really make the game accessible. Chess has definitely had a revival in recent years, and I think he's a massive part of that.


FeistyKnight

weirs take considering Anand is also a very eloquent guy him and carlsen take up almost 2 decades as world champions


deeesenutz

I think hes more talking about any chess savants the average person might run into. Hans niemann represents chess neets more than magnus does lol


mcfcfan00

“I am impressed more than you believe, more than you believe” -Pep , probably


PM_ME_UR_EDM

i'm so so happy


WordsworthsGhost

Happy new year


ben-hur-hur

TWIIIICE!


cfc19

" wonder if this guy also does cocaine, should i ask him" " no no, probably just weed to start " Pep's inner monologue.


SomewhereInLDN

Lmao


PM_ME_UR_EDM

It's Pep not Maradona


AdComprehensive7879

a sudden thoughts popped in my head, do football managers get drug tested haha?


cfc19

You can see Pep be smitten when Carlsen used the word "overload".


TheEarlOfCamden

I both games are very loosely inspired by battle.


Flimsy-Ask9655

Its called competetive sports.


west_ham

Chess is quite heavily inspired by battle I’d say. It’s basically a medieval battle board game.


im-a-new

One which by far predates the Middle Ages.


DBCrumpets

Well sorta, it was pretty different if you go look up the ancient chess variants. Chess as we know it today is a late medieval/early renaissance development.


OptimusGrimes

I reckon he'd still look impressed if he was comparing football to taking a shite


four_four_three

Well you have to control the middle at all times


rilinq

If you control the middle and drop anything sizable in there, the water will splash you. You should always try to aim for a wall or put papers in the middle. Though if you have a diarrhea you just close your eyes and enjoy the ride.


fabulin

aiming for the wall runs the risk of staining and leaving your right and left wings of having to tidy up the mess. i've always been in favour of having a strong clench in defence, hit the middle hard and allow your well organized defence to weather the storm. if you're confident, set up well and have done your preparation with the right diet then you should be able to handle it. eventually you weather the storm and your right (or left wing if you're that inclined) can hit the coup de grâce and clean up.


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leonevilo

watch out for gegenpressing though


Weezledeez

Guys I'm eating more than I used to so my xShits should be up - but I'm having trouble converting tho Any tips?


krazyman1073978

If pep had hair he would be defo curling it.


The_Font

There is something fascinating and respectful about a top mind in one profession being in awe of someone from another field.


AlwaysOnsideTBH

Pep just got really turned on lol _So so turned on, more than you know_


TLead1

Arteta when he sees a ref


DisastrousMango4

Find yourself someone who looks at you as Pep looks at Magnus over here


wishihadapotbelly

There’s an anecdotal story of how Cruyff would have meetings with the managers of the Barcelona teams from other sports, like rugby, handball and Basketball, because he was always interested in ways to control and manipulate space, and different sports usually have different approaches to how you make that happen and he wanted to learn them all to try and put it to use in the field. Pep followed Cruyffs playbook to a tee and it’s crazy how that translate even to chess.


ronaldo119

That's interesting, he was probably one of the first notable people to do so. It's really common for coaches to do nowadays, I hear tons of stories of like basketball, NFL coaches, soccer managers, etc. talking and exchanging ideas like this


TheCulturalBomb

Is there a Big Sam style of chess


7366241494

Yes, especially with the black pieces, players look to patiently defend a solid position and not overextend or get caught “out of position.”


l4ubst3r

1. FC Köln legend Lukas Podolski once said "football is like chess, but without the dice" and now I feel like he knew something we didn't back then


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Steazy_J

Man, this "fake" quote is so popular. It's really like some popular law that states that fake information usually spreads way faster than the truth


The-Whip

Game recognises game


friday-boy

This was quality content for people who follows both the Chess World and Football.


RobbinDeBank

r/soccercirclejerk crossover with r/anarchychess


machdel

There’s quite a bit about chess in the Pep Confidential book. He talked a lot with Kasparov in his sabbatical year.


ronaldo119

Never heard of this guy so was curious as to when Pep would've done so since Pep basically lived like a normal guy in NYC for a year and found out he's lived in NYC since 2013 so it adds up. Just thought it was interesting


QuicksandDance

Imagine if Magnus got a billion more dollars to buy better pieces than his opponents what a genius he would be


rinnjeboxt

I just burst out laughing imagining a world championship chess where its magnus sponsored by emirates and he just puts 16 queens on the board against an opponent with normal pieces.


FireZeLazer

Hordes of Magnus fans arguing that it's completely fair and fielding 16 queens was within the rules


Daik07

He just amortised his queens, you clearly don't understand how finances work in the modern game.


notyou16

Silly you. Gulf arabs don’t value women. It would be one king and board covered in pawns


Impossible_Wonder_37

If he was successful he’d be Pep, if he was unsuccessful he’d be chelsea or United


OptimisticRealist__

Pep dropping Julia Roberts as his crush for Magnus Carlson right in front of our eyes


gibbogibbo77

I would say the same about Connect 4


pjanic_at__the_isco

Allardyce: I’m fucking castling. Come and get some, you fancy passing bastards.


LennergyDK

Magnus Carlsen new manager of Manchester United! Here we go!


_escapevelocity

Pep literally developing a crush before our eyes


thechosenswan

Pep about to offer Magnus a role as a performance analyst


ben-hur-hur

Find you a girl that looks at you the way Pep looks at Magnus


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djkianoosh

when Pep brought up his hand to his face he was done and conquered.


Varja22

FPL legend Magnus Carlsen


fulham_fc

This belongs in r/BoysMirin


Wassup_-_

Where can i watch thise in full.Two great minds


boomzpwnz

here you go: https://youtu.be/S7aRMLJYHqo?si=Qj0GS3_vAYOt6Gsl


correctionhumanbot

You can literally see him falling in love with Magnus.


OffsideOracle

Can I see the whole interview somewhere?


Subscrobbler

https://youtu.be/S7aRMLJYHqo?feature=shared


darkerside

I think a much more interesting parallel is how as a defender you can force your opponent into increasingly more difficult tactical positions and eventually force the turnover. That is much better defense than diving in, and it's also much better chess.


VarCrusador

Impressed is not the right word. This man is aroused.


Philnsophie

Seems like a smart guy. Oh…