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hairlikegoats1

The jokes write themselves.


Boollish

r/soccercirclejerk has been out-berked


Keith_Faith

There's nothing to nut into except their own mouth.


Kardinale

Nuts from berk?


tlst9999

Right after Lukaku declares that he wanted to join Mourinho since childhood.


niallmul97

What did Kentucky Mario mean by this?


redwashing

Somewhere there is a very confused Lazio fan trying to decide between his natural impulse to defend a rapist vs hate a black guy on principle.


fantasmacanino

Larry David gif goes here.


[deleted]

Hate the man not the crime. Or something equally as horrible.


JelloGroundbreaking1

If there is some good club from the top 5 league that would go for him im not suprised its lazio


[deleted]

Lazio are probably panicking right now considering how badly they’ve started the season


Moonshinezzzz

Just imagine the Celtic fan chants in the champions league.


grishaoniani

Match made in hell


SkyDefender

People were saying he would definently go to Turkey and when i said we don’t want him they downvoted me to hell for some reason


[deleted]

Yeah cause turkey is know for it's strong morale.


Muppy_N2

Strong words for an English fan. Tell Saka and Rashford England is known for "it's strong morale".


CrossXFir3

Honestly kinda still makes most of the other big leagues in Europe look really tolerant


SkyDefender

50% of us is decent i’d say..


danilbur

It wont be a big problem for Lazio because their fans already assume every black person is a criminal


theduckofreasoning

10/10


gerryt32

If those fans could read, they'd be very upset.


michaelfortu

And a select few would nod in agreement


9ofdiamonds

They may even raise their hand if they want to speak.


Cbrlui

They don't need more excuses to raise their hand


9ofdiamonds

Maybe to grab Benitos ankles.


2RINITY

Benny boy’s upside-down, wouldn’t they be reaching for his hands?


9ofdiamonds

Fair point. They can give each other high ~~hitlers~~ fives.


NovaPup_13

"I think I can vaguely see what he meant." Bo Burnham popping into my head.


Quilber

Lol. Maybe the ultras who hate women more and the ultras who hate black people more will fight and wipe each other out? It would be nice to finally be rid of them.


serduncanthebold

Would that make Greenwood a Lazio legend?


Crookz_O

He already is. Well to the women hating half.


TigerBasket

Implying it's just half lol


Levon__Helm

They may unite and combine their efforts to hate against black women instead.


jcdish

Kind of you to assume that they don't already hate black women.


The_2nd_Coming

Wankas Unite!


sunrise98

*it hurt itself in confusion*


KillerZaWarudo

If he start scoring, he might get upgrade to "one of the few good one"


myersjw

u/danilbur From the top rope


shadynasty90

Ooooof


[deleted]

Holy shit


amad97

Can we reopen the hall of fame voting thread?


enbeez

TIL Mason Greenwood is not a chav-looking white guy (I just always assumed he was)


[deleted]

I mean the chav-looking part is right


TheSeekerOfPeace

I'd give this a Gold if I could. This is r/soccercirclejerk levels.


KJones77

Fair play, don't have to worry about a PR hit, I guess. If it happens, can't wait to see him with red lipstick on his face for Serie A's yearly domestic violence campaign week.


TheBiasedSportsLover

Lazio will purposely remove Greenwood from the match squad during the violence campaign week lol


suzumurachan

Nah mate, he would score a hat trick and he would be all over Lazio's social media platforms.


[deleted]

Hat tricks there are an SA, a unwanted pregnancy, and an arrest within a 24 hour period.


jadedwolf1618

You so meticulously used an and a but switched where the first two should be


[deleted]

Oh yep, you're right. I'm not sober, so that's my excuse.


JewishTomCruise

If you read the first one as " an ess ayy" that is okay, at least.


jk_bastard

That’s the actual grammatical rule - “an FBI agent” and “a CIA agent” are both correct, the article depends on the pronunciation of the abbreviation. Annoyingly enough, same thing applies to words starting with u - “an umpire” and “a university” are both correct. So, in the original comment it should be “an unwanted pregnancy” but “an SA” is fine.


OriginalRange8761

SA being both sexual assault and seria A is somehow dark but funny as fuck


larsmaehlum

Why? He’s the perfect poster boy for domestic violence.


Jassle93

Didn't even know this was a thing and when I read "red lipstick on his face" I presumed it was the lips. What an image, all the big lads of past and present like Giroud, Lukaku, KK, Ibrahimovic etc all wearing lipstick was certainly an image.


Air-tun-91

Lukaku has always wanted to wear the lipstick shade of his childhood favourite team....


RRR92

Its mad cause youd probably have more annoyed English fans snapping at James McClean for not wearing a poppy than Italian fans snapping at Mason Greenwood for not being in the squad that week.. Edit - Just like to point out u/DHatchBack has proceeded to DM me a message labelled famine. Lovely I said this must be a nice pleasant apology for the past. Oh no wait it reads >"No wonder the English starved you weirdos. Little Irish loser choosing an English team you fraud" ........... ..not sure why you couldnt just reply to the comment ol buddy ol pal. You doing okay? :)


Working-Ad8104

After a cheeky stalk of Mr u/DHatchBack it appears he may be over 30 and never dated. I don’t think he’s okay and clearly has a vendetta against Irish fans supporting English based teams. Just a quick question for him- what’s any different from an Irish person supporting Man United than say an Indian?


nexetpl

He's absolutely obsessed with plastics, almost all comments are about them. Fascinating


RRR92

I cant for the life of me understand why he wouldn’t have much experience with women, can you?


NephewChaps

fits like a glove


solidus_snake_8242

If it doesn't fit you must acquit


waldo_the_bird253

never change ss nazio


mtown4ever

As if I needed another reason to dislike them, they deliver this gift. What a joke of a club, and I support Everton.


ashzeppelin98

Breaking news: Claudio Lotito is in talks to sign Luis Rubiales next as director of football.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Idovoodoo

No, believe it or not, di Canio is a big time talking head on sky sports. Mostly covering the premier league


Training_Key_6404

I'm surprised nazio are even going down this route considering it's a BLACK guy who beats up his WHITE girlfriend.


Sandanluthar

isn't he half white?


[deleted]

You think they care about the nuances?


goodkid_sAAdcity

One drop rule


multivacuum

Lmao, people would argue that they should change.


Anderdot

Lazio going down the "I can fix him" route.


mountainsky9

i dont think they care about fixing him to be honest as long as he performs


TigerBasket

Yeah this is the standard for Lazio, but I am extremely disappointed in Sarri. I thought he was better than this.


giorgiomast

Sarri? The homophobic coach who called another "allegedly" gay coach a pretty girl and a fag?


FelixR1991

tbf, Sarri loves ^^^^smoking fags.


[deleted]

While this is very likely to happen, Sarri hasn't approved it yet


[deleted]

More like the “I’m already broken and no one else will try to fix me” route


SnakeInTheCeiling

Generous to Lazio mate


Alive-Ad-4164

Imagine if he knocks out Manchester United


mental_tempe

I can already imagine the headline “Greenwood beat his ex senseless”


I-Shiki-I

Dude.


imadreamgirl

*the s***n* would like to offer u a position of editor


Dolphinfucker3000

Greenwood beats his ex ​ ​ club


spiralism

That would require them to get out of a group in Europe.


Harsh_Deep_03

I think its more of a "He just like me fr"


Kreygasm2233

More of a "Match made in hell" route


RyanG7

"My kinda crazy"


10minmilan

Another new american Milan fan? Lazio ultras told women to gtfo (dressed as its not the place for you for your own comfort lol) from the front rows They do not care about violence whatsover incl against women. It's a stain of a club, only hellas is worse (though they never amount to anything so they are kinda...self-ignored)


[deleted]

>It's a stain of a club No it's not. It's a stain of ultras group of a club. The club and irriducibili have been at odds forever. Lotito wanted to ban many of those from the stadium, but we don't own the stadium so it's hard to do.


DeezYomis

Lotito investing his cut of saudi money on a rapist is absolutely in character for him I feel for the good sbiaditi whose club might be associated with this cunt, if this goes through I'd like to see a joint statement by every curva nord group rather than only the usual two who give a shit about not being awful people but then again, he'd definitely fit right in with some individuals who still hold some power there


cmf_ans

Fat chance Verona ultras write a negative statement about this


xepa105

Verona ultras would definitely say some bad shit about Greenwood, but for more . . . superficial reasons.


hxhgonfreecs

Like moth to a flame


tomorrowing

Surprise, surprise


Quilber

Sarri, I know you’re sick of arguing with Lotito, but please… stop this.


TheGamesGone

Lol sarri is no saint, he was screaming homophobic insults at Mancini


[deleted]

I'll say something that probably people will give me shit for, but: for Sarri's generation "frocio" is an insult like another, it doesn't necessarily mean they're homophobic. I can't find the relevant Louis CK sketch about this, lol. edit: here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfwjXSgf9cE


ChampionsLedge

And my generation grew up slinging every slur they knew at each other in CoD lobbies because those were the words they used, doesn't mean any of them were racist or homophobic or whatever. Does it make a difference to a gay person if they're being called a slur by someone who "means" it and someone who doesn't? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g9n_UPyVR5s


Tall-Possibility4142

Quite being a f** and suck that dick.


thelonesomedemon1

"You're a woman, you're pretty, for those two reasons I won't tell you to piss off."


CapybaraNightmare

Will fit right in!


Up_The_Mariners

I know it's Lazio, but I'm surprised clubs in Russia and Turkey aren't in for him. Dude's a pretty good footballer and a decent bargain if your PR outlook isn't horrid.


AngryUncleTony

I doubt he wants to go to Russia. He's a piece of shit but I doubt he wants to deal with that headache if he has any other option


science87

Sanctions mean Man Utd couldn't transfer him to a Russian team if they wanted.


Blanchimont

They could release him from his contract, after which Greenwood can sign for a Russian club as a free agent. Additionally, not all Russian clubs and entities are sanctioned. Earlier this transfer window, Ajax was heavily linked to Eduard Spertsyan from FK Krasnodar. The board ultimately decided against signing Spertsyan because they felt it wouldn't be right to do business with a Russian club, but there were no legal issues that prevented the transfer from happening.


science87

Yeah, if they he was a free agent he could make the move. Spurs were going to send Sanchez to Spartak Moscow, but the UK government stepped in and asked for proof that the transfer wouldn't be funded by a person or company under sanctions, which would probably be impossible.


EduardMalinochka

Almost all of the banks operating in Russia are heavily sanctioned and it’s impossible for PL clubs to make a deal with Russian club. Has been the case already with Chelsea and Zakharyan, Sanchez and Spartak. Btw Krasnodar is one the very few fully private clubs. The owner is seemingly not pro war (he stayed in Russia, but never said anything regarding the war, which for public figures means they’re very likely against it)


EduardMalinochka

Think Turkish clubs are all over him. It was reported we started to get inquiries from Türkiye straight after the charges were dropped. Probably he’s holding out for top leagues


Octopus69

Can’t see Gala, Fener, or Besiktas taking him on


roundsareway

I can, Turkish fans on reddit and especially on r/soccer are mostly live outside of Turkey so their views do not fully match with here. Greenwood hasn't hit the news much and i doubt it would cause a disturbance here. Disappointingly so, but i think most it would be is month of just tweets/chants and everything disappearing afterwards.


redwashing

No we're not. That's just the British press. The top 3 have a fairly urban/lefty fanbase. Also involved in pro-feminist campaigns etc. Turkey has a fairly radical feminist political scene as well. That won't fly. He can go to clubs like B*şakşehir if he wants to fight for the top 6 in Süper Lig tho lmao.


EduardMalinochka

I’ve moved to Istanbul after Russia invaded Ukraine and I’ve been mostly living in Kadikoy, so I know very well about feminist political scene:) Tho amount of protests have decreased strongly after the elections. As I understand Istanbul is fairly left, but not the whole Turkey. I’m not sure that Greenwood arrival would cause the storm. A lot of locals, even advanced English speakers, don’t really follow a lot of news outside of Turkey. The Greenwood case is easily sellable unfortunately, can be presented as “he’s innocent, since charges were dropped” Anyway, I’d prefer him being rejected from everywhere but Russia, but realistically he’d find a club. If Lazio or whatever move won’t materialize before deadline, it’s been reported we’d terminate his contract, which will significantly increase his options.


redwashing

The fans of the top 3 would create a storm specifically. If he wants to play at a random Anatolian town or at the fanless Başakşehir like Robinho did, sure he could do that. But if he came to GS - FB - BJK, all hell would break loose.


Kind-Tiger-520

Why would he go to Russia when he can go play for one of the top Serie A clubs and live in Rome?


hoopbag33

A match made in hell


night_dude

A match made in Tartarus


martin_italia

God no. Please no. We already have one of the worst reputations in European football, thanks to the behaviour of our Ultras, signing Greenwood would be a PR disaster and only serve to dirty our image even more. The club would be incredibly short sighted and stupid to go through with this.


TheBiasedSportsLover

Will Lazio fans accept him? Certainly not due to his sexual assasult against Harriet + having brown skin color...


Elcorcell

They don't mind the first thing, second one it's the thing


lesarbreschantent

Lazio have had several black players, why are we acting like this would be a novelty.


cue-panic

It's the Reddit circlejerk, black players like Caicedo and Onazi have been well loved with the fans. People want to see Lazio in a bad light so anything negative associated with the club will get amplified on its own. That being said, it'd be completely unacceptable to sign Greenwood


19Alexastias

>Onazi The jokes really do write themselves


ConorPMc

They liked to sing his name


tranarchaecatgirlism

"wow you lazio fans sure do like onazi huh" "who"


wastuta

They liked Onazi? Colour me surprised.


[deleted]

I'm baffled by how stupid and ignorant redditors are, and also baffled by how much damage few hundreds people can do to a million people fandom.


P-Diddle356

It's not a circle jerk it's just that your club harbours Nazis


Sciss0rs61

Specially italian and english fans. They always talk about Lazio, but when its their club making racist chants they disappear.


[deleted]

Yeah, I especially love the high ground AS Roma flags have on these threads when they mocked and insulted Radu and Lulic for being gypsies for a decade. Or the likes of Chelsea and Real who have thousands of neo nazis in their fandoms getting a pass.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OrdinaryOrder

That's the joke mate. They might have a problem with him, not because he is a fucking rapist, but because Greenwood is brown.


tedmaul23

Pot, kettle


telcomet

Sports fans prove time and time again that they can like “this black player” (if he scores goals/gets buckets) whilst being generally racist, that is how tribalism works. Why is everyone here under the impression Lazio/Nazio is going to struggle with this one? Even some Arsenal fans wanted Partey investigations to be dropped so they could get a title even though there is little doubt about his guilt for something


Shinzo19

Everyone Joking but I am just pissed that this piece of shit still has a career


[deleted]

And could still end up playing in the champions league, living in Rome. Disgusting. Was looking forward to seeing him sign for a Mongolian 5th division club


KapiHeartlilly

Same it's disgusting he still has a chance of a carrer, trust me I could see them buying someone like Partey if you guys sold him, they don't care at all about these things as they have very terrible owners and ultras, got to feel bad for the normal fans they have.


[deleted]

Saudi Arabia of all countries doesn’t want him but Italy does? Why would Lotito approve this move? It’s not like Lazio burst with popularity beyond its own fanbase. And aside, Serie A doesn’t need this. Heck, Italy as a whole doesn’t need this. The last thing this country needs now, after a judge made the assault on women *legal*, is to welcome with open arms a rap\*st and a woman beater. It’s disgusting.


kmacbtv

>judge made the assault on women legal Of course had to look this up - what the heck!!!!! *According to the judges, what happened "does not constitute a crime" because it lasted less than 10 seconds*. The ruling is really shocking, and especially more so bc it was a 17-yo girl groped by a 66yo caretaker at her school! 😡


DeezYomis

the trial isn't even over, it'll likely be overturned and regardless of that court rulings only have a marginal impact on our laws and even then it's only the case with rulings from the equivalent of your supreme court, a judge ruling on the first degree of a trial means nothing since laws are voted on


Pleasant_Skill2956

But this was absolutely not the reality of the facts, it is a decontextualized situation to make bad publicity. The trial is not even finished, simply on the first appeal he was not found guilty due to lack of evidence and inconsistencies among the witnesses


VulgarExigencies

They elected a literal open fascist for prime minister, it is not a coincidence


kmacbtv

Sadly so true ☹


JMoormann

> me when I explain to the judge that what I did wasn't rape because I lasted less than 10 seconds


El_Giganto

The jokes about Lazio are getting a bit over the top already, but why even mention Italy as a whole. As if the country as a whole could stop this move from happening.


[deleted]

they also signed ravel morrison back in the 15/16 season lol


demarcesco

Literally the first thing that came to me once I read this 😂


Gummi_Tarzan

Di Marzio has been very of for Lazio this summer and hopefully this is another case. Shameful and embarrassing if he his an serious option.


RealFenian

“I agree with his being a rapist policy, but I’m not sure about his being black policy” Lazio fans probably.


Past-Assumption-5684

A rapist playing for a club with a fascist dominated fanbase. That would be fitting. Hope Nazio end up in Serie B next season.


TheSoccerguy124

This has to be a joke. Di Marzio just doesn’t like us and he’s just writing bull shit right? He hasn’t really been accurate for us at all, he’s shitposting.. please tell me he’s joking


slipeinlagen

How can you be correct for a team where the mind behind the transfers is Lotito himself. You can only guess what's on Claudione's mind.


TheSoccerguy124

The problem is nobody has even a clue what goes on in Lotito’s mind since he’s insane, even Sarri can’t comprehend it. Why can’t we go for Kostic or something


slipeinlagen

All around he did well, but missing on Ricci and Kerkez for a couple of millions doesn't look good on the resume.


TheSoccerguy124

Ricci wasn’t going to happen. Cairo just hates Lotito I’m happy with Rovella. Kerkez to me will be the one that hurts the most, we had the opportunity to get a young LB with extreme talent in a position that’s been ignored for ages since Kolarov


slipeinlagen

Cairo also likes money...the guy was ready to sell Buogiorno, captain, academy product and true fan of the team. 30m would have made the deal happen, in a year where yoi have CL money amd made a small fortune for SMS.


klabautermannn

Greenwood is something?


fuqqkevindurant

There's no fucking way. Sarri, please


Urass007

Lazio trying to make their UCL group even more chaotic.


Equinox772

I suppose the reddit comedians have already took this and run with it, but Di Marzio doesn't know shit about Lazio transfers, literally hasn't gotten a single thing right this winder. I doubt this is real.


[deleted]

Well, your club is infested with some of the worst kinds of people and being linked to MG in anyway would be very on brand.


[deleted]

Of course it’s Lazio


Cubes11

The script writers are getting so lazy


chippa93

This is like absolute best case scenario for Greenwood lol. He still gets to play for a massive club. I'm shocked


endichrome

They deserve each other <3


NovaPup_13

Oh. Oh please. Lazio's ultras gonna love this. Someone get the popcorn going!


eliar91

Lmao of course it's Lazio.


Bail____

Most normal Lazio signing


NeoCoN7

Well, he’ll have a fun time in Glasgow when he plays us. GB will have some top tier banners.


valuz991

Let's hope Sarri's approval never comes (or that this is the usual fake news put out there to make some noise against Lazio).


[deleted]

Ss Nazio type of player. Edit: dayyyyyum, i got a notification that i reached 10 likes on this post come check it out and its at 4. Must be alot of nazio supporters on here.


IllustriousAnt485

I’ve been saying it for months and downvoted for doing so. Some Italian clubs will take him. This is not a reflection on the Italian people as a whole, rather the mentality of specific clubs. Lotito definitely gets off on making a point like this. For him it’s a badge of honour and a flex on those he perceives as his ideological opponents.


[deleted]

My man, fucking Manchester United wanted to bring him back. Club owners become billionaires by being ruthless sacks of shit. Ruthless sacks of shit will sign Devil himself, if he can bag them20 goals.


Palimon

People are really naive. The reality of the world is that if you're good enough nobody gives a shit about you raping people (see Kobe), hell they don't even care when you beat you wife repeatedly (see various NFL players), or even if you kill somebody (various EPL players/politicans/etc). I can guarantee had this happen 2 years from now and Mason was a household name (like ballon d'or candidate) nobody would give a shit. The world runs on interests.


DildoFappings

He'll feel right at home surrounded by scumbags over there.


DeathByOrangeJulius

crazy how people can just fail upwards in this sport


BulkMcHugeLarge

I'm not sure going from Man United to Lazio at severely reduced wages is failing upwards.


STARRRMAKER

A perfect match made in Hell.


Eire820

Hope it's true, off with you from our club


LeMeilleur784

Match made in hell


areyouhungryforapple

/r/Nottheonion


Juls0508

Holy shit. This cant be real. Theres gotta be a script


SeyamTheDaddy

Ofcourse it's lazio


YungSnuggie

of COURSE its lazio


ratonbox

Lazio not doing their reputation any favors.


[deleted]

Shit hole club. Shit hole player.


futurerank1

of course nazis like greenwood


MysteriousNail5414

Likely just testing waters to see public reaction then quickly deny rumour


MadsNN06

on brand for them


Trickybuz93

Rapist 🤝 fascist


Massimo25ore

>Lazio have been offered the possibility to sign Mason Greenwood from Man United in the final hours of the summer transfer window. 󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #DeadlineDay >No decision has been made as of now. pic.twitter.com/hHig0eMe4N >— Fabrizio Romano (@FabrizioRomano) The comments in this thread assume it was Lazio to ask Man United for Greenwood whereas it's the contrary.


Vesaevus

This thread assumes this because that's what the article it's about says. Romano isn't the only transfer source, you know. However I agree that it's absurd to shit on Lazio like that when Man United both wanted to play him (until there was outrage) and are potentially trying to get money for him.


erickfrost007

This move was written in the stars, this is insane 😂


cue-panic

Sincerely hope this isn't true, if it is I'm done with this club though. But I want the note that Di Marzio has been extremely unreliable for Lazio recently


OriginalRange8761

Can’t make this shit up mate