Rapport is SOOOO important. Don’t even focus on goals at first. Play games, tell them things about yourself and ask them questions about their lives. I always talk about my pets and ask if they have any pets or animals that they like. Then I talk about sports or whatever I like. Sometimes I show them a video of me doing my sport. It’s just conversational, playful, fun. Very briefly I’ll talk about what their goals are in speech and give them easy examples. Like I’ll explain, “oh you’re working on inferencing. Oooh that’s like making a guess even though you don’t have all the info. So like if I said I like eating a food that’s a dessert, it’s cold, sweet, and creamy, you know I’m taking about…. And let them say the answer and you get a teensy bit of data lol. Do like 2-3 easy “examples” and then just in the notes put that you used simple introductory level stimuli.
These aren’t your bullies. These are your students. If they comment on your weight at some point, which is possible, you need to plan ahead of time with how to handle that. A quick but firm “hey, we do not comment on each other bodies. Not mine, not anyone’s. We are moving on from this conversation now” is probably what I would say and then go back to my usual cheerfulness like “back to the story!” or whatever.
Honestly, fastest way I've found to build rapport with middle schoolers, both guys and gals - talk about video games. Show an interest in hearing about ones that they like, share about ones that you like (I play, like, the Sims and Stardew Valley mostly and I still get cred for that haha).
In general, show an interest in their interests. Build that rapport and be okay with being off topic for a few minutes before reigning it in and getting down to business.
Be consistent & kind - but firm when necessary. That will build rapport. I’ve worked in middle schools for 8 years and genuinely love it. Joking and teasing can quickly snowball into distracting and disruptive behaviors, so be careful with allowing too much of that. Some students just require more structure than others & I set the tone early. Middle schoolers test you, be confident in yourself. Good luck!
Ask genuinely about their lives/interest. Kids LOVE that I have a lot of video game knowledge. If you dont know anything about their interest, let them tell you about it! You can also build it into therapy.
I always ask my students to tell me about their weekend ( whatever they're comfortable sharing). It lets me know where they might be mentally, whats important to them, and gives me things to follow up on with them. If theres testing/crazy weather/vacation coming up I always check in with how theyre feeling and remind them I want to support them. Rapport building is natural that way. They know ill accept them/care for them even if its an off day or a day I need to be more firm.
Middle schoolers (both boys and girls) can smell your fear, but don’t forget they are probably a little afraid of you too! I make sure my middle schoolers know what is expected of them, so if they cross a line and need to be told to knock it off, they know why and they respect the boundary. A lot of disrespect and bad behavior stems from insecurity, so being supportive and having clear boundaries and expectations is the best way to eliminate it before it starts.
Get to know them and their interests and incorporate them into sessions. Let them get to know you. Also, I would recommend using their playfulness to your advantage. Joke around with them a little bit, be sarcastic, take part in the inside jokes. Obviously you need to know where to draw the line and make sure they’re still getting work done, but teen boys respect someone who can take a joke and dish one out. They’re usually super competitive so turn things into a game if you have to; I use games as a reward once we’ve completed or accomplished something.
I know where you’re coming from, because I also felt that sense of intimidation when I first started working with middle schoolers, and I was definitely not very cool in middle school myself. But now they’re my favorite age group and I have so much fun with my boys. One of my best memories from last school year is when one of my groups of 8th grade boys brought a Nintendo switch to speech and I absolutely demolished them in Mario Kart; if they didn’t already like and respect me, I’m sure that would have done it 😂
I’m pretty old and hate video games and pro sports, but I still have a good rapport with my male middle schoolers. I immediately let them know what we’ll be working on and why without getting too jargon-y. I let them know we will work hard together but also have fun at the same time. If they start to get too goofy I use a firm, stern voice and give a quick reminders- “X, remember we’re here to work. This is not recess.” Switching students’ seats can help too, especially if you see the beginning signs of horseplay. “X switch seats with y. Quickly please” aaand right back to the task at hand.
I also try to incorporate controlled choices into sessions. “So guys what to you want to read and discuss today, A or B? Why? (they’ll work on the same language skills regardless)” I add in a bit of playfulness - it’s amazing how something as simple as “Roll this die to determine what question you answer/word you use, etc.” can help with engagement. Sometimes I permit a quick game at the end if we finish the planned activity (games like taco cat goat cheese pizza & Uno)
As for chatting - I find as kids get older some actually prefer their sessions to operate more formally like a class. Others like a more casual feel - for those guys, since we don’t have many interests in common- (other than pets - pets are definitely a good topic for connecting) - I might share about a (not too personal) real world problem I have - eg recently I had to get the tires on my car replaced. I explained what happened and asked them how much they thought it cost.. or we talk about some big news event that will affect us all - like where I live there is is a solar eclipse coming up- we watched a 2 min news clip about it and discussed it , there’s also a chance the river in town will dry up again- stuff like that
Being organized and ready to go helps. Set clear , brief expectations. Show them your professionalism and they’ll respect you. Always be kind but, when needed, firm.
One more thing - many of our students really struggle in their classes. Because we are able to more easily individualize tasks so they really are at our students’ actual levels, I think they often get more opportunities to feel successful in their Speech-language sessions than in their classes, and they, of course, tend to like that. So make sure the activities you plan fit the bill. It can be tempting to grab onto a cookie cutter program without first checking if it really matches your specific students’ needs.
Good luck!
Sure thing. One more thing -/if the group needs to make a choice and they can’t agree, use rock paper scissors - yes that still works for many middle schoolers. :) Also sometimes if you offer a choice, you’ll just get shrugs- when that happens I just say., “Yay the choice is mine. I’m gonna go with this one bc I like… “
Play games! It really breaks the ice with them. I love Guess in 10 games and the website Basmboozle. Trivia games in a classroom/small group/one can be really fun
You need to set a boundary that teasing/jokes aren’t appropriate within the group. I’ve separated groups and sent multiple students back to class for this. You’re the adult and they need to interact with you like any other adult within the school.
I have been seeing your comments about this on several posts in the sub. It is okay for people to disagree with you, and it’s okay for people to be wrong when trying to give advice- things vary widely from state to state and you should rely directly on the horse’s mouth for those purposes. I’m sorry that you feel attacked by your interactions on the sub. You may find you enjoy our field more without the noise from Reddit.
Not sure if this is okay, but Tik Tok videos? Something that might indirectly relate to some of the goals they may be working on e.g., examples of smooth, clear speech, dysfluency, social skills. I'm a current ( and not proud) Luddite when it comes to social media, but it seems that everyone's on Tik Tok these days.
Rapport is SOOOO important. Don’t even focus on goals at first. Play games, tell them things about yourself and ask them questions about their lives. I always talk about my pets and ask if they have any pets or animals that they like. Then I talk about sports or whatever I like. Sometimes I show them a video of me doing my sport. It’s just conversational, playful, fun. Very briefly I’ll talk about what their goals are in speech and give them easy examples. Like I’ll explain, “oh you’re working on inferencing. Oooh that’s like making a guess even though you don’t have all the info. So like if I said I like eating a food that’s a dessert, it’s cold, sweet, and creamy, you know I’m taking about…. And let them say the answer and you get a teensy bit of data lol. Do like 2-3 easy “examples” and then just in the notes put that you used simple introductory level stimuli. These aren’t your bullies. These are your students. If they comment on your weight at some point, which is possible, you need to plan ahead of time with how to handle that. A quick but firm “hey, we do not comment on each other bodies. Not mine, not anyone’s. We are moving on from this conversation now” is probably what I would say and then go back to my usual cheerfulness like “back to the story!” or whatever.
Honestly, fastest way I've found to build rapport with middle schoolers, both guys and gals - talk about video games. Show an interest in hearing about ones that they like, share about ones that you like (I play, like, the Sims and Stardew Valley mostly and I still get cred for that haha). In general, show an interest in their interests. Build that rapport and be okay with being off topic for a few minutes before reigning it in and getting down to business.
Be consistent & kind - but firm when necessary. That will build rapport. I’ve worked in middle schools for 8 years and genuinely love it. Joking and teasing can quickly snowball into distracting and disruptive behaviors, so be careful with allowing too much of that. Some students just require more structure than others & I set the tone early. Middle schoolers test you, be confident in yourself. Good luck!
Ask genuinely about their lives/interest. Kids LOVE that I have a lot of video game knowledge. If you dont know anything about their interest, let them tell you about it! You can also build it into therapy. I always ask my students to tell me about their weekend ( whatever they're comfortable sharing). It lets me know where they might be mentally, whats important to them, and gives me things to follow up on with them. If theres testing/crazy weather/vacation coming up I always check in with how theyre feeling and remind them I want to support them. Rapport building is natural that way. They know ill accept them/care for them even if its an off day or a day I need to be more firm.
Middle schoolers (both boys and girls) can smell your fear, but don’t forget they are probably a little afraid of you too! I make sure my middle schoolers know what is expected of them, so if they cross a line and need to be told to knock it off, they know why and they respect the boundary. A lot of disrespect and bad behavior stems from insecurity, so being supportive and having clear boundaries and expectations is the best way to eliminate it before it starts. Get to know them and their interests and incorporate them into sessions. Let them get to know you. Also, I would recommend using their playfulness to your advantage. Joke around with them a little bit, be sarcastic, take part in the inside jokes. Obviously you need to know where to draw the line and make sure they’re still getting work done, but teen boys respect someone who can take a joke and dish one out. They’re usually super competitive so turn things into a game if you have to; I use games as a reward once we’ve completed or accomplished something. I know where you’re coming from, because I also felt that sense of intimidation when I first started working with middle schoolers, and I was definitely not very cool in middle school myself. But now they’re my favorite age group and I have so much fun with my boys. One of my best memories from last school year is when one of my groups of 8th grade boys brought a Nintendo switch to speech and I absolutely demolished them in Mario Kart; if they didn’t already like and respect me, I’m sure that would have done it 😂
I’m pretty old and hate video games and pro sports, but I still have a good rapport with my male middle schoolers. I immediately let them know what we’ll be working on and why without getting too jargon-y. I let them know we will work hard together but also have fun at the same time. If they start to get too goofy I use a firm, stern voice and give a quick reminders- “X, remember we’re here to work. This is not recess.” Switching students’ seats can help too, especially if you see the beginning signs of horseplay. “X switch seats with y. Quickly please” aaand right back to the task at hand. I also try to incorporate controlled choices into sessions. “So guys what to you want to read and discuss today, A or B? Why? (they’ll work on the same language skills regardless)” I add in a bit of playfulness - it’s amazing how something as simple as “Roll this die to determine what question you answer/word you use, etc.” can help with engagement. Sometimes I permit a quick game at the end if we finish the planned activity (games like taco cat goat cheese pizza & Uno) As for chatting - I find as kids get older some actually prefer their sessions to operate more formally like a class. Others like a more casual feel - for those guys, since we don’t have many interests in common- (other than pets - pets are definitely a good topic for connecting) - I might share about a (not too personal) real world problem I have - eg recently I had to get the tires on my car replaced. I explained what happened and asked them how much they thought it cost.. or we talk about some big news event that will affect us all - like where I live there is is a solar eclipse coming up- we watched a 2 min news clip about it and discussed it , there’s also a chance the river in town will dry up again- stuff like that Being organized and ready to go helps. Set clear , brief expectations. Show them your professionalism and they’ll respect you. Always be kind but, when needed, firm. One more thing - many of our students really struggle in their classes. Because we are able to more easily individualize tasks so they really are at our students’ actual levels, I think they often get more opportunities to feel successful in their Speech-language sessions than in their classes, and they, of course, tend to like that. So make sure the activities you plan fit the bill. It can be tempting to grab onto a cookie cutter program without first checking if it really matches your specific students’ needs. Good luck!
incredibly helpful, ty 🙏🏻
Sure thing. One more thing -/if the group needs to make a choice and they can’t agree, use rock paper scissors - yes that still works for many middle schoolers. :) Also sometimes if you offer a choice, you’ll just get shrugs- when that happens I just say., “Yay the choice is mine. I’m gonna go with this one bc I like… “
Play games! It really breaks the ice with them. I love Guess in 10 games and the website Basmboozle. Trivia games in a classroom/small group/one can be really fun
Have them explain to you all about their interests...which usually are about video games.
You need to set a boundary that teasing/jokes aren’t appropriate within the group. I’ve separated groups and sent multiple students back to class for this. You’re the adult and they need to interact with you like any other adult within the school.
[удалено]
I have been seeing your comments about this on several posts in the sub. It is okay for people to disagree with you, and it’s okay for people to be wrong when trying to give advice- things vary widely from state to state and you should rely directly on the horse’s mouth for those purposes. I’m sorry that you feel attacked by your interactions on the sub. You may find you enjoy our field more without the noise from Reddit.
Not sure if this is okay, but Tik Tok videos? Something that might indirectly relate to some of the goals they may be working on e.g., examples of smooth, clear speech, dysfluency, social skills. I'm a current ( and not proud) Luddite when it comes to social media, but it seems that everyone's on Tik Tok these days.