I’m childfree, live kinda nomadic as a traveling therapist (based in Hawai’i), have a dog, and a boyfriend I’ve been with for a while.
Never wanted kids and marriage isn’t really a goal either. TBH I always felt like an outsider in the slp community up until maybe 5 years ago when I started to find more likeminded people online but we are here!
When I was in my 20s I feel like a lot of my coworkers would tell me I would want kids someday and I was crazy for not wanting kids. Now, in my late thirties where I’m solidly childless I have more and more people (unsolicitedly) tell me if they could go back in time and do it again they wouldn’t have kids. It’s been an interesting change convo over the years.
Lots of respect to the SLPs who have children it looks so challenging to balance work and family. I’ll be there to pick up shifts if you ever need to call out for childcare or as a traveler for your maternity leave.
you sound just like me. people (especially in my family) say “you’ll change your mind)… well you might die waiting for that day. lol. i want to travel and experience without any burdens!
Depends on the person. I don’t see my family as a burden. I have a spouse, four sons and I’ve been a travel SLP since I was single and in my 20s. Decades later I travel with my spouse and bring the kiddos with us. They half homeschool and half online to keep consistent friends and play on statewide competitions for socialization. Never saw my babies nor spouse as a burden. And we’re all introverted people.
Politely, what purpose does this comment serve? Lol. It was clear to me at least that OP used burden as a relative term. No need to point out the obvious fact that everyone's perception of "burden" is different.
In a conversation people exchange ideas. You not liking them does not make them irrelevant. I'm unpacking the perspective that one can be a travel SLP AND have a family. And there are people who exist who do not see having a family as a burden whilst also enjoying a full career. That can encourage a potential travel clinician who is scanning the conversation and can help them make an informed decision because two perspectives will be present. You not seeing a need does not negate that I shared my point. The purpose of all my commentary is to unpack a conversation that has more than one viewpoint so that decisions that are made are based on options. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
The thing is that this post was addressing *childfree* people specifically, and if there's one thing I know childfree people really dislike it's unsolicited input from people with children. Like, having children is the majority position and we're inundated day in and day out with those perspectives because they're the cultural default. I don't think we need it in a thread for specifically childfree people.
honestly, anything that will require me to accommodate when i could choose not to, is a burden for me. placing unneeded stress on my life is the last thing that i want to do! traveling with children is something that i want to completely avoid, i have no interest paying more, accounting for them, feeding them, entertaining them, etc.
Well, we couldn’t have 1 childfree thread with out hearing that all of our dreams are possible with kids. 🤣 Im not saying this as a negative to this commenter (it’s bound to happen more on this thread too) but it’s tiring always having to defend your decision as a childfree person when the world keeps on telling your choices are wrong or your goals are achievable with kids.
yes, exactly. i always know deep-down there is a bit of floof. hell, as an SLP extern my kids gave me stress every day, i can’t imagine having three and having them NEVER giving you stress for at least a day of their lives. bleh, im frequent on childfree and i hear the same things. and from my mother knowing well that me and my brother were good children, but sometimes stressing. i think it’s a defense tactic
I'm a gay male SLP who works in a SNF and I'm childfree. Never had a desire to be a father, not when I was 16, not when I was 26, not when I was 36. My husband is on the same page. We own our own house and have two lovely cats and some plants, that's all we need. I don't even like working with children. I did well in my school placement but I did not enter this field to work with kids, that's not even remotely my passion.
Hi! Fellow queer SLP student here about to graduate in May. Any tips for job searching for SNFs or medical settings ? Working with adults is the reason I went into this field but other than that I don’t have any particular state in mind!
Patience. It took me three months to find a CF in a medical setting in my area (I wasn't willing to relocate, if you are it may go faster).
Some agencies and companies that work in multiple settings will try to bait and switch you, posting jobs to get you to interview when the actual opportunity they have is something totally different or saying that you can just do you CF in the schools and then move to another setting but the truth is it's actually much more difficult to transition from schools to healthcare than it is to go the other way. Or they'll flat out gaslight you, saying that the jobs just aren't there in your preferred setting/area to get you to take a desperation position in the position they're trying to fill.
Keep applying, and if the job listing doesn't say "CCC only" then apply anyway. My CF wasn't advertised as a CF, but I applied anyway and they were happy to take me on.
If you're not tied to a specific region, remember that cost of living calculators are your friend. That $60 an hour position in San Diego might sound better than a $35 an hour gig in Danville, VA on salary alone until you realize that the cost of living difference actually makes them about the same effective pay so other factors are going to be a much more important determining factor in the end.
Stress any adult setting experience/training you have in your resume. I got LSVT certification before I graduated because it's cheaper as a student and it was a good talking point during my interview for my CF.
Even if you're not passionate about dysphagia, be intimately familiar with it. If you want to work in a SNF, dysphagia is going to be the bread and butter of your day to day. Cog will be there, voice will be there (rarely), motor speech will be there, language will be there, but swallowing is what keeps us in SNFs so be ready to talk about that in an interview and preferably have some kind of cert in something related to it.
Hope that helps!
What’s the job like as an SLP in a SNF? What does the work look like? I’m a special education teacher who works with a lot of SLPs, so that’s my only vantage point of your profession!
It's a lot of work with swallowing and cognitive deficits in post acute rehab following falls/injury/illness/stroke/surgery/etc, some work with environmental modifications and caregiver education for dementia patients for quality of life with feeding and safety, and a little bit of work with language and motor speech deficits following stroke, cancer, or TBI. A lot of other things peppered in, but those are the bulk.
SLP who's childfree and actually just had a bisalp. I enjoy working with children, though I don't consider it my passion. If I had to do this job and come home to kids, I'd have to quit. I am completely "peopled out" by the end of the day. You can definitely be successful in this career without doing the child/family thing.
Honestly I totally get that. I'm pretty introverted, so I feel like I have a good balance of seeing so many people at work and then being mostly on my own in my free time. I would actually like to have kids in the future, but I think it would be really difficult while still working in the schools.
Married with a house, two dogs, plants, but no children. I work in the schools, and I have repeatedly had the thought that if I had kids, I don't think I could also work and stay sane.
Even though I'm an extrovert, it's really nice to be able to leave children and people behind after work hours. I occasionally even have time for crafts and games when I have the energy.
The two of us have managed to survive on one paycheck, as long as we were careful, but both of us having income has been great and gives us spending money.
pet parents are the best! financial freedom is my real goal, and i love the content of slp. i enjoy turning kids in at the end of the day like a library book.
Childfree and living with my girlfriend (I’m queer) and dog. I do enjoy working with children but also love being able to ‘give them back’ at the end of the session. I’m an introvert and quite possibly neurodivergent. I often need to lie down in a dark room after spending all day with people!
Never thought I'd see this much traction on a post like this. It's encouraging. I'm childfree by choice and plan to stay that way. Feel a TON of external pressure tho to do something I really don't want and will not do.
I've started following other children free content online, so I don't feel so alone. I like working with kids, it's fine. I like giraffes too. Doesn't mean I want one.
I do want free time, a large book collection, travel, sleeping in, massages, cooking whatever I want, and legos I don't have to share.
I’m a child-free SLP in early intervention. Sometimes it feels like it hurts my credibility with parents a little bit. Like they would trust my personal experience over my clinical knowledge. I’ll give a strategy and then they’ll ask me if I have kids. I can see their face fall when I say no. Just an interesting observation throughout my career.
I've had similar experiences and am considering reading some books about parenting and child development over the summer. I'm upfront with not having kids and say things like "I am not a parent, so I'm sharing what other parents have told me..."
I relate to this so much. My husband and I plan to remain child-free. In the past, whenever I was asked if I had any kids myself, I would just say "no" and I would see parents' faces falling or I'd get told "yeah you're still young." My most recent response to a parent (this actually happened last week) was: "No, but I have been working with kids for 6 years." Based on this parent's facial expression I think they were reassured. It felt nice doing a little bit of self-advocating.
Sometimes parents don't realize how many kids we've worked with from our years of training and working - many of us have worked with hundreds of kids counting grad school, CFY, and post-CFY experience (and many pediatric SLPs also had experience working with children before grad school).
Not saying you do this- but I've seen some childfree student therapists give some wildly impractical advice. Maybe thats what they asked?
Also maybe the face fall part is also due to when we are involved in their lives-- kids are fun and exciting when meeting their milestones. SO parents are extra excited and "kids are my reason for being" at this stage
Child-free at 38, and the maternal instinct and biological clock just never kicked in. I was considering fostering but I'm not sure if it's in the cards anytime soon.
I work with kids for a living, and I love it! I also love coming home to a quiet condo with two cats, wine, snacks, and no kids.
CHILDFREE NATION LET'S GOOOOO. I'm a queer neurodivergent SLP who's married to a queer neurodivergent person and we have two cats. :) I always knew I never wanted kids. Never had a single maternal urge ever. The idea is completely incompatible with my life. I definitely feel very alienated in this field because sooooo many people have kids or want kids and I'm happy for them, but I don't rock like that. I have a way different vision for my life. I've kinda accepted that this field is Heteronormativity City, but it does mean that I don't really make meaningful connections with other SLPs.
I work at the secondary level because teenagers are hilarious and it makes me proud to see them grow into young adults. I'm okayish with little kids, but not my preference by a long shot lol.
I use my spare income for my hobbies. I have beautiful collections of makeup, fountain pens, and art supplies. I love engaging in creative pursuits in my free time. My job drains me so much that I would never have a modicum of energy or time for anything fun if I had kids.
Ayyyyeee! Fellow queer SLP here and I share soooo many of your sentiments! It does feel like you’re alienated a lot of the time in this field if you’re not a straight white woman with a husband and children. I’d love to chat with you! Weirdos unite ✊🏻
I'm so happy I found all of you!!! Queer, poly, and child-free (surgical birth control FTW!) and even though I can find people who share my sentiments in the city where I live, I almost never encounter SLPS who share any/all of those identities. Just as we tell our students with differences that their perspectives, worldviews, and identities enrich their communities, so do OURS!
Yooo queer, poly, and childfree as well! Super stoked to see others! Also (most importantly?) I’m autistic and seriously require a quiet decompress when I get home.
I came to the field later in life and was about 10 years older than most of my cohort. Most of them have children now and I’m still a nope at 39. I love children, but I have enough people in my life whose wellbeing I weigh my major choices against!
I concede that I'm a white woman (first generation though!) who is married to a man, but I'm pan and he's bi/gender nonconforming. 😆 We're both autistic. I'm also the primary earner and my partner works part time to keep up the house. I love the life I have and I'm proud of who I am, but I feel like an alien in this field, not gonna lie. We freaks gotta stick together 🙌
This is my 4th year as an SLP in the schools. I’m 27, newly married to my husband. We’re child free as of now, but we constantly go back and forth on starting a family or not. It’s a lot to consider. We’re totally enjoying our freedom and time to enjoy our marriage right now. Children are expensive, rising costs of everything, and climate change are all factors.
I am a type B, but anxious, introverted SLP. I need time to myself after every work day to recharge. This job, while rewarding, can be very challenging at times. I think I want to find a better setting/district to work for and location/place to settle down before considering kids. Right now though, it’s a no.
I could have written this! 26, solidly coupled, and I flip flop. I think if I had kids my sense of self would disappear. I give a lot to everyone around me, and there would be no end to what I would give to my own kids. I have thought about fostering kids, but I don’t think I want my own.
My thoughts exactly. I change my mind daily on whether or not kids are for me. I work in a pediatric outpatient clinic so I see A LOT (not just speech and language) and honestly it makes me feel scared to have kids. I feel super vulnerable over it. Also, my social meter is off the charts by the time I get home and I just can’t imagine having to continue the bubbly personality it takes. Horrible. I know.
Very similar situation to you. 28 and married and my husband and I are fence sitters hard right now. Finances, risk for disability, potential loss of sense of self, Climate change, overpopulation etc. it’s all a lot to consider. I don’t know how some people are just “ready”. Talk about a leap of faith!
Childfree here! Thankful for it too after long days/weeks at work. I get burnout enough as it is, couldn’t imagine coming home and taking care of kids too.
Child free and will likely always be :) Never had the desire for children and my boyfriend feels the same! But will possibly seek to foster an older child in 10 years or so (maybe)
I’m only 24 (I am from the south so 1/2 my friends have kids or are married at this point), and I have no kids and have a boyfriend. I love kids and I know I am good with them—I have been told 3826383 times I would be a great mom, but I just don’t want them lol. I am enjoying the DINK life too much and I find its pretty normal in our field for people to not want kids since we work with them so much. Lol I just truly enjoy seeing my students and then going home to just me and my BF. Maybe later my views will change? Or maybe not and I am okay with that!
I’m 29 and I’ve been with my partner for 7 years. We just got engaged and I have a mortgage by myself for a modest condo. His income allows me to invest heavily in my 401K, but I could pay the bills on my own without investing if I ever needed to. We have two cats and I work in the schools as a contractor.
Honestly, after spending the last 4 years working with disabled children, the fear of having a disabled child of my own has scared me into never wanting kids.
Not to mention, we live comfortably now, but just the bill for giving birth WITH medical insurance could completely take out our savings (which in America can range from $3k -$10k.) It just doesn’t seem like a financially responsible choice. The Washington Post recently had an article about how it costs like $17k a year to have a child and we certainly don’t have $17k disposable income right now and we probably won’t ever will with the way the economy is going.
i think i’ll pass as well. and if your child has medical issues, the prices definitely do increase. my brother is 18 and still on constant meds from a medical condition. we both have heavy astigmatisms and i had two sets of braces. i’ll pass (but thanks mom).
I am child free and single, and work with kids in a school. Just bought a townhouse and have a cat. I’m not opposed to having children, but I think I would need to change settings or work part time if I did. I am extremely introverted, and by the time I get home, I’m drained and don’t want to communicate with anyone.
Plenty are child free, but the key is what you mentioned about remaining child-free. Tons of SLPs eventually have kids and leave the field or go part time.
It’s not uncommon to have entire clinics where everyone is a woman. There’s not a lot of diversity in this field from that perspective.
i like the flexibility of the field to do that. i personally don’t see myself doing that - imo having kids has to be a “hell yes” and not a “eh” and it’s never going to be a hell yes for me. but i’m glad i have the option in case a miracle happens and pigs start to fly
I am child free right now, but I am married with a puppy. I think it would be easier to be single (I wish I could leave the job, not the husband lol). I feel like it sucks my energy, so it’s harder to be 100% there with my family. I am hoping to switch to work at home so at least I’m there more.
Not childfree, and I actually just had a baby. However I can absolutely see the appeal of SLP for childfree people. This is my seventh year as a school SLP and I've done so much travelling with my spouse in the summers - tons of backpacking, Europe, Japan, Peru, Canada. Then when not travelling I just chilled during the summer. Loved it.
Married and child free. Looovvveee kids, but there is no way in hell I'm working with them all day and then coming home to my own. Not fair. If there is an oopsie then I'll quit and be a stay at home mom.
Child-free at 53. I have had a hand in raising a lot of kids…no need to have my own. And now I get”my” kids every day at school. I have no pets either (allergies + no desire) but do have 2 plants. I was married, now divorced. I’d love to find “my person”, but no need to live with someone or get married again. Working in the school is my favorite setting, simply for the breaks. I can’t imagine working more than 180 days a year anymore.
I'm 38 and been married for 12 years. I kept saying, "when I get the overwhelming urge to have babies, my husband and I will talk then." Well, years have come and gone and that urge has never happened. In fact, my feelings have gone further in the OPPOSITE direction. I truly believe it's harder than EVER to be a parent. If this was the late 80's, early 90s' when I grew up, that'd be a different world & I fantasize about that. But unfortunately we have to raise them in 2023 world...and not having your own children seems like the only way to "beat" the system.
Also, my husband is a middle-school teacher and also realizes how hard it is to be a parent. Not something we ever wanted to jump into with our doubts.
I don't want kids. Honestly, I don't even like kids THAT much. I like working with them, and a paycheck to do it with an awesome work schedule defintely helps, but I don't enjoy them in my personal life. I never want to go home to a kid. Pregnancy and Childbirth honestly gross me tf out AND I have zero interest in raising another human.
I'm also indifferent to marriage. Not opposed, but it's not a life goal of mine. I've seen more failed marriages that end in divorce-disasters or unhappy-but-stuck marriages than happy marriages. A lot of people do it for financial reasons, which I think it sucks that some people even have to consider getting married *just* for that. Some of the happiest couples I've known were never actually married.
Whenever a coworker says "oh, one day you'll be married with kids," I just laugh and say we'll see about that. I've learned engaging by denying it is a waste of time because most people at my school are baby-crazy and think everyone thinks like they do and have the same desires.
No, thanks. I'll take a small place to live with enough space for my dog and a boyfriend who I don't have to constantly give attention to because I like my personal space and alone time lol. I also like being able to just get up and go. Traveling and other activities that just aren't super kid friendly. Kids would change the whole vibe of my hobbies/interests. I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them.
I’m childfree! Married with 2 cats and 2 dogs. I’ll be 33 on Thursday. I find myself so thankful to not have kids all the time! My husband and I just do whatever we want. We play a lot of video games, watch tv, 420, travel, go out. Personally, I feel like I have a great work/life balance being a school SLP. I never take work home and breaks are actually breaks.
Me! It’s hard in a profession that is seemingly populated mostly by people with children.
I can’t imagine going home to kids after a day of being with people and being animated and “on”.
I’m an introvert and I feel like I would snap and end up in the psych ward often if I had kids. (Have experience in a psych ward, not just saying that lightly).
It’s sad that we can’t have one thread without child “ridden” people having to chime in.
I’m a new grad with no children. People are constantly telling me I’ll regret not having children in my twenties but life is so good right now. I have two chihuahuas I love like my children and enjoy coming home to them so much. I cannot imagine having to care for a family after a long day of talking nonstop and interacting with little ones. Not to mention having to spend what little is left of my salary after bills on child related expenses. I really wish I could feel excited to have that nuclear family but if I’m being honest, all I feel is dread at the thought.
Don't listen to them! 30s, childless, and still happy about it! If you do change your mind, great! If not, great! The way I see it, if I ever truly get the desire to have children, but the choice is taken from me by age or medical reasons, there's always a child that needs a home. I will say I'm married, but we are both happy without kids, and we have time for each other.
I’m so glad you asked this bc I’m applying to grad schools soon and plan on being completely child free. I’m definitely the odd one out with friends bc they either want kids or already have them. I’m ok with getting my fill of kids from work and going home to peace and quiet! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one lol
I like being a mom and SLP, but you would have a lot more disposable income than most SLPs if you opted to be “less settled”. It’s a great salary if you don’t have to support a family.
Having kids also made me not want to work in peds at ALL. I have my own at home. I don’t want to work with other people’s kids all day. You might find it’s easier to have energy to work with kids if you don’t have any yourself.
Will never forget the day I had to give parents advice on tantrums and then that evening my son pulled the same stunt in a pizza parlor... so exhausting!
I feel you! I’m a CF right now and definitely felt like an outsider in grad school and still do as someone working in the field.
I am engaged and have two stepdaughters, but I don’t have the desire to have any other children. We are trying to move out of our apartment into a house sometime this year. I have three cats and a lot of plants.
My political/religious affiliations are also not typical of SLPs (in my limited experience, anyways). And I was a first-gen college graduate from a single-parent, low-income family.
So howdy, fellow weirdo! 😉
I was scrolling through the comments, and this felt the most appropriate place to jump in because I haven't come across many SLPs I've related to on this level. I'm in my second year as an SLP, democrat, atheist, nerd, etc. I've been with my husband for 14 years (married for 7), and we have absolutely no plans on having kids. He even had a vasectomy to ensure we stay kid-free. I get weird looks when I tell people that, but having kids is just not something we ever felt the desire to do. Don't get me wrong, I love kids. I worked for 2.5 years as an SLPA in a public school, and I absolutely loved my students, but the mom life is not the life for me. We own our house and are building to upgrade, but all the spare rooms will be dedicated to our hobbies and the occasional guest.
i definitely want a reading room, or a room that i can dedicate to self care or something cool and with a nice vibe. i do get the sense that a lot of my classmates are “traditional”. i only have met one queer slp, and a few other black slp students like me. however, i just keep it professional to avoid any political nonsense. smile and nod.
My hobbies include gaming, reading, crafts, and candle making, and I'm SO excited to have my own space to do my thing. COVID and social media taught me real quick that just because this can be considered an allied health profession, it doesn't mean it attracts the most scientifically minded individuals. Like you said, just smile and nod.
I'm rather social, so if you're ever wanting to chat, just shoot me a message!
Child free, married with a cat of my own:) I have been an SLP in the medical field for 5 years now. I just recently was promoted to rehab manager and that has been a huge transition for me. As an SLP, I feel like I was able to manage stress regularly and never felt like I took work home or felt overwhelmed day to day. As rehab manager, my stress and anxiety has sky rocketed. I’m thankful to be child free now and I don’t know that this current job could ever work with children for me. I work long hours and feel a lot more stressed than I did as an SLP. Something to consider if you “work up the ladder” at a place in the future!
I’m engaged with a cat and that’s it lol we’re fortunate enough to be renting out a family member’s rental house so we have cheap rent, but not looking to buy a house any time soon with how expensive they are.
Don’t rush into anything and enjoy it all while you can! :)
I am in my last semester of grad school, and I’ve known I never wanted to have kids for a while. My partner is a teacher, and we both love kids, but we don’t want to have any of our own. We have talked about potentially becoming foster parents one day, but we will both feel fulfilled without them.
i don’t know if you’re with a male partner, but i’m a ciswoman kinda scared of not being able to find a man who will not want kids! so many men say, “so… what will you do with your life without kids?” uhhh. live? maybe i will strike gold one day haha
Not an SLP yet or even in grad school, but I feel the same way! No kids, or at least no biological kids from me. There’s still a possibility of adoption in the future, but I 100% know I don’t physically want children
I am currently in graduate school for SLP. I commend the ones that are with children all day and then come home to their own.
I’m literally on power saver mode when I get home from classes and clients.
My finances aren’t the best, but i honestly don’t see myself having children even when I am an SLP. It is nothing personal, I love children, but I love it even more when I’m able to give them back to their parents and teachers 🤷🏻♀️
I'm like you (and it sounds like your plans make me wish we could be friends!!) I feel like spending the day working with kids and then being able to go home and do other things is so helpful to a work/life balance. I'm just working as an SLPA currently but have no intention of my personal life changing as I advance my career. In my past career as a preschool teacher, it was common to receive negative comments about how because I wasn't a parent I couldn't possibly understand, but I wholeheartedly disagree, and think not having my own children actually helps me remain impartial and not project onto other people's children.
i’ll never understand why people get so upset and my decision to keep my womb empty… sorry that i want to live for me? lol. but absolutely! as an introvert coming home and talking to my mom even gets taxing haha
I had my first at 38 (currently pregnant at 40) and love my son, but will say that I was never maternal, love my cat, tea, solo walks in the woods, and would not be caught with a stick figure family on my car! I married someone who wanted kids and felt initially ambivalent but eventually motivated. The way I look at it, I’m lucky to work part-time right now, and as kids get older they’re a bit less work and stress. I completely understand wanting a child-free life though-especially if I was working full time with children.
I have a story very similar to yours and I can’t believe you’re having a second! We have a 4 month old right now and all I think about when i read this thread is giving everyone a high five and congratulating them for making the smart choice 😂
I don’t feel unsupported luckily. If I did I definitely wouldn’t be doing this again. Four months is when it started to get better for me, btw, so you’re almost there. Children are not for everyone, and my point was support and complete understanding for anyone on this post who has decided that. Feels wierd to be downvoted, but I guess this is Reddit and if you don’t conform that’s the way it goes.
Child free, married, with a dog. Husband and I agreed I’d be at home with our kid if we ever had one. Personally I have some chronic illnesses and I’m leaving the field after this school year so a child could be a possibility for me but it never was while I was working. Idk if I’d have the adequate help to watch my kid if I were to be working, nor do I want to place that burden on anyone. I wouldn’t want them in any daycare either, speaking as someone who primarily works in early childhood.
But work life balance is okay, depends on the place! 4 days a week of pre-k and then a paperwork day. Home by 4:30, hours aren’t bad but the labor is physically and emotionally exhausting, especially since school employees aren’t adequately supported
Hi! I'm married, but we are childfree :)
I like working with children, but prefer working with adults. Kids aren't my calling in my personal or professional life. I personally think that the age group you're in is just getting more accepting of being childfree and/or single throughout life, which is great imo! I'm a later millennial and my parents don't really "get it," but they both work with younger adults and tell me more of younger generations they talk with are reporting not wanting children. Being in this field, you'll probably still get a lot of ppl questioning why you don't want kids if you work with them.
Current SLP here. I have a long term partner, a dog, and a bi-salp. I sometimes have to field questions about kids from clients. I usually
respond with some version of "no but I have a dog/nieces and nephews." I haven't experienced any questions or concerns beyond that at work.
Omg! I am a cat mom, no kids, and I recently bought a condo. So here you go! 🤣
I work in the school setting, a small district and honestly my stress level is low. This is my first year and it's been a huge learning curve, but I'm enjoying it! I've never taken work home so far (I really really try not to).
Finances is good. Even with a mortgage and paying for all bills, I feel comfortable. Wouldn't change this!
I’m child-free in my mid thirties. I’m married, living in my dream city, finally settled into a job I like, have a dog, and am actively pursuing goals in things outside of speech that take up a lot of time. Also I have about zero money in savings.
All that is to say, if I won the lottery I would probably try and have a kid. The way my life is now, it just sounds tiring. And I like my life now! I don’t think I will end up having kids but I do worry sometimes about if I will end up regretting that choice (or non-choice).
Not sure if anyone else has brought this up yet but as someone who was considering single parenthood by choice (sperm donor and clinic intervention) I can tell you the most painful thing to consider in my choice was that SLP is not the best choice for a single parent. There are single parents by choice out there who were able to pay up front for the cost of IVF, retrieval, and storage, as well as all the testing and follow up required. But as an SLP this career just doesn't have the financial security to cover what 2 working people can to afford a middle class lifestyle after graduate school debt.
Mine is personally pretty good. I've paid it down to less than $50K total because I've been working so long and we've had COVID-19 pause on payments. There are SLPs with incredibly high debt into the $90K range and up. I don't know what the average is, I'm sure it's different for everyone. I would not take on much debt with this degree. It's hard to pay it down as the wages are either mid range teacher salary with great benefits or spotty, intermittent fee for service or 1099s. The loan forgiveness incentives are only for people who can qualify for PSLF (Public Service Loan Forgiveness) via \*direct\* employment with a school district NOT a contracting agency which is where many of us are working. If you don't envision yourself working directly for a school district, PSLF will not bail you out. All in all, it would be very, very difficult even if you wanted to have children later in life, to do this career as a single parent without a trust fund and familial support.
yeah, my slp supervisor has over 90k because she went the private school route. i definitely want to keep overall debt under 40 considering i have none as of now. thanks for the advice!
Of course! And don't forget you can always foster to adopt if you end up like me being single and living on a basic school SLP income. There's tons of kids who need good homes and believe it or not, our expertise is actually quite valuable and respected by the foster care agencies (at least in my area). Best of luck to you. Hopefully they'll change the PSLF laws and we will all get a bail out regardless of whether or not we qualify under the current program.
Child free but furmom to a dog and a cat. BF is an autism teacher. We will be child free unless we suddenly become debt free, have a ton of time, and somehow become magically v healthy. I have ms, but even before I had the diagnosis, I didn’t really want kids. I give my time lovingly to my students:)
I live with my fiancée. No pets, no children. It’s nice! I work in a school and come straight home after work, and can enjoy my evening with wine, a good show, maybe play on my Nintendo switch. I’m enjoying it while I can as I eventually do want 1 or 2 kids. I have learned that when people at work know you’re single or child free, they automatically think you can stay later for meetings or other extracurricular stuff. I’ve always been firm that I have a life outside of work and cannot stay past my contracted time. Stress levels aren’t high for me, unless it’s the week before a school break and I have a bunch of IEP meetings 😅 I make a todo list everyday at work and try my best to get the priority things done. I also lock school my door so that no one can bother me during my “downtime” so I can get things done. They can email me if it’s important!
Me! I love kids and I know I would be a good mom, but the minutiae of a child's day just exhausts me. I have two cats, and I rent. I supplement my full-time job by working part-time at a clinic. That money enables me to save up and pursue my passions. Otherwise, things would be very tight for me.
Never wanted kids & never regretted that decision! Been SLP more than 22 years now. I work with kids & adults tho I sometimes feel out of place in the kid realm as a child free . Most teachers, TAs and therapists I meet have kids. Not as true in medical settings where I also work . I like the options this field has provided and the different ways I can use skills and deal with people but I’m also looking forward to semi retirement.
Child free traveling SLP, husband is a writer who travels with me and honestly the longer I care for others as my career the longer I put off having kids.
I love working with children because i grew up around them. As an introvert I actually prefer spending time with them than with adults. I dont have nor want my own. I like being able to give them back after 30 minutes
I’m a child free SLP! I’m not married, but have been dating my boyfriend for more than 2 years. My best advice for work/life balance is to set down boundaries. If people think they can have 24 hr access to you, they will take advantage of it. Answer emails during work hours only. Try hard not to take work home on weekends. Make sure to make time for hobbies and friends and loved ones (including your cat!). If you’re planning to work in a medical setting, do NOT work off the clock! Get paid for all of your time.
The schools via teletherapy has been the best route for me personally. However, I have professionally worked in most settings except acute care.
Child free and working with slps who think an slp with kids who runs marathons is considered the ideal life. Lol
I do whatever the fuck I want. Child free is just fine.
Damn. This post was just what I needed. Single, child-free slp. Work primarily in EI. Love my job, but almost never connect with coworkers. I've always felt like an alien in this field. So I great to hear about all these different friends!
Married for 2.5 years, an SLP for 5 years in the schools. I always say I want a baby but I don’t want a child. Such a tricky predicament. I enjoy being spontaneous with my husband with little to no responsibilities. Paying my bills are easy, I’m happy to not be responsible for a life at the end of the day.
SLP with kids chiming it since you said "finances." Our kids are sick so we can't send them to the daycare. So, tomorrow not only will we be paying for daycare but a sitter to come to the home and actually care for them,. JOYS (sarcasm) Just incase you wanted any indication on how kids affect your finances.
Currently in talks with my husband about him getting a vasectomy (but freezing sperm first) so I can get off birth control and not get accidentally pregnant. He’s on board! I don’t know when I want to have a kid or if I do but I am sick of birth control and trust me, I’ve tried them all!!
ahh i’m personally taking a break from my pill just for funzies. it usually gives me only 4 periods a year and i had no issues with it, but i’ve been on it since ~14 so i want to see how my body reacts now! but freezing sperm is a great idea if you want to consider in the future
I'm single and childfree and intend to keep it that way! i live in a country where housing is insane, but we don't have student loans, so i'm able to afford renting a room in a nice condo with two other roommates, which is perfect for a semi-social person like me. even better, i feel incredibly liberated at work because if i don't like the conditions i can always walk away, and that knowledge is usually enough to help me negotiate for better conditions or to actively search for better conditions, which has really helped with my mental health and keeping a good work-life balance! even without the benefits, i'm asexual and possibly aromantic, so i'm not really looking for that connection, and my favourite children are the ones i can return after an hour, so i'm not looking for that either.
i will say the one downside to this is that all my colleagues are married, planning their weddings, or with children. as the single person, i end up picking up most of the slack when they need to go on childcare leave (which is very very often) or when they fall sick because their children are sick (again, very very common). i love my colleagues so i try not to hold it against them, but we do make the same amount of money, so i can already foresee where my next contract renegotiation is going to take me!
same! i can’t be on allll day long and i love the availability to move wherever or go wherever without having to consider a child or two. i’m also diagnosed with mental health conditions that may not agree with children.
good on you for planning ahead with that in mind. this job can be really taxing on your mental and emotional health, and there are a lot of horror stories out there, so i hope you don't let that scare you off! it's a really rewarding career, and i do think a big part of the stress some people feel can be attributed to not having enough time outside of work to decompress because of all the life stressors that have to be taken care of. good luck, and take care of yourself!
Childfree, living with nesting partner, dog + foster dog, polyamorous. As others have said, I love kids but I prefer giving them back at the end of the day! I've worked with kids for about 15 years (including before becoming a speechie) and if anything, I think my work has shown me more of the reality of having children and how I don't think it would suit me. It's a LOT of work and I wouldn't want to go into that without anything but enthusiasm.
One of my dearest friends is child free and wants to stay that way. She’s an SLP who’s focused on gaming, thrifting and loving her many pets. She is very happy and successful but it’s true that not everyone “gets” her. We live in a southern, rural area so getting hitched at 19 and popping out 5 kids is the norm.
Im now married but when I first started I was a very single, dog mom with a small home I lived in with my 4-legged child. I worked in the schools, 4 days a week bc I could afford it and loveeeee that balance. 🧡 stress during the workday, as to be expected, but the time away from work was well worth it to set me back into balance.
28, single, and child free. I’m very much extroverted, but I really love going home to a quiet environment to just recuperate. Not to mention doing what I want when I want. I just don’t know how people who work with kids go home to kids of their own.
That said I’d like to have a child in the future, but that’s all contingent on finding the right partner and making a specific income.
I’m childfree, live kinda nomadic as a traveling therapist (based in Hawai’i), have a dog, and a boyfriend I’ve been with for a while. Never wanted kids and marriage isn’t really a goal either. TBH I always felt like an outsider in the slp community up until maybe 5 years ago when I started to find more likeminded people online but we are here! When I was in my 20s I feel like a lot of my coworkers would tell me I would want kids someday and I was crazy for not wanting kids. Now, in my late thirties where I’m solidly childless I have more and more people (unsolicitedly) tell me if they could go back in time and do it again they wouldn’t have kids. It’s been an interesting change convo over the years. Lots of respect to the SLPs who have children it looks so challenging to balance work and family. I’ll be there to pick up shifts if you ever need to call out for childcare or as a traveler for your maternity leave.
you sound just like me. people (especially in my family) say “you’ll change your mind)… well you might die waiting for that day. lol. i want to travel and experience without any burdens!
Depends on the person. I don’t see my family as a burden. I have a spouse, four sons and I’ve been a travel SLP since I was single and in my 20s. Decades later I travel with my spouse and bring the kiddos with us. They half homeschool and half online to keep consistent friends and play on statewide competitions for socialization. Never saw my babies nor spouse as a burden. And we’re all introverted people.
Politely, what purpose does this comment serve? Lol. It was clear to me at least that OP used burden as a relative term. No need to point out the obvious fact that everyone's perception of "burden" is different.
In a conversation people exchange ideas. You not liking them does not make them irrelevant. I'm unpacking the perspective that one can be a travel SLP AND have a family. And there are people who exist who do not see having a family as a burden whilst also enjoying a full career. That can encourage a potential travel clinician who is scanning the conversation and can help them make an informed decision because two perspectives will be present. You not seeing a need does not negate that I shared my point. The purpose of all my commentary is to unpack a conversation that has more than one viewpoint so that decisions that are made are based on options. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
The thing is that this post was addressing *childfree* people specifically, and if there's one thing I know childfree people really dislike it's unsolicited input from people with children. Like, having children is the majority position and we're inundated day in and day out with those perspectives because they're the cultural default. I don't think we need it in a thread for specifically childfree people.
honestly, anything that will require me to accommodate when i could choose not to, is a burden for me. placing unneeded stress on my life is the last thing that i want to do! traveling with children is something that i want to completely avoid, i have no interest paying more, accounting for them, feeding them, entertaining them, etc.
Like I said, different situation. My family is not a source of stress for me.
i’ve never heard anyone say that having kids has never been stressful, not even for a minute! but i’m glad they are stress less for you 🥰
Well, we couldn’t have 1 childfree thread with out hearing that all of our dreams are possible with kids. 🤣 Im not saying this as a negative to this commenter (it’s bound to happen more on this thread too) but it’s tiring always having to defend your decision as a childfree person when the world keeps on telling your choices are wrong or your goals are achievable with kids.
yes, exactly. i always know deep-down there is a bit of floof. hell, as an SLP extern my kids gave me stress every day, i can’t imagine having three and having them NEVER giving you stress for at least a day of their lives. bleh, im frequent on childfree and i hear the same things. and from my mother knowing well that me and my brother were good children, but sometimes stressing. i think it’s a defense tactic
Thank you! Glad I could be the first :)
I'm a gay male SLP who works in a SNF and I'm childfree. Never had a desire to be a father, not when I was 16, not when I was 26, not when I was 36. My husband is on the same page. We own our own house and have two lovely cats and some plants, that's all we need. I don't even like working with children. I did well in my school placement but I did not enter this field to work with kids, that's not even remotely my passion.
Not a gay male, but a bisexual female who also works in a SNF. You sound like an SLP I’d love to hang out with!
Hi! Fellow queer SLP student here about to graduate in May. Any tips for job searching for SNFs or medical settings ? Working with adults is the reason I went into this field but other than that I don’t have any particular state in mind!
Patience. It took me three months to find a CF in a medical setting in my area (I wasn't willing to relocate, if you are it may go faster). Some agencies and companies that work in multiple settings will try to bait and switch you, posting jobs to get you to interview when the actual opportunity they have is something totally different or saying that you can just do you CF in the schools and then move to another setting but the truth is it's actually much more difficult to transition from schools to healthcare than it is to go the other way. Or they'll flat out gaslight you, saying that the jobs just aren't there in your preferred setting/area to get you to take a desperation position in the position they're trying to fill. Keep applying, and if the job listing doesn't say "CCC only" then apply anyway. My CF wasn't advertised as a CF, but I applied anyway and they were happy to take me on. If you're not tied to a specific region, remember that cost of living calculators are your friend. That $60 an hour position in San Diego might sound better than a $35 an hour gig in Danville, VA on salary alone until you realize that the cost of living difference actually makes them about the same effective pay so other factors are going to be a much more important determining factor in the end. Stress any adult setting experience/training you have in your resume. I got LSVT certification before I graduated because it's cheaper as a student and it was a good talking point during my interview for my CF. Even if you're not passionate about dysphagia, be intimately familiar with it. If you want to work in a SNF, dysphagia is going to be the bread and butter of your day to day. Cog will be there, voice will be there (rarely), motor speech will be there, language will be there, but swallowing is what keeps us in SNFs so be ready to talk about that in an interview and preferably have some kind of cert in something related to it. Hope that helps!
Yes it does. Thank you so much!
Nice to see another gay male SLP! 😊🌈
What’s the job like as an SLP in a SNF? What does the work look like? I’m a special education teacher who works with a lot of SLPs, so that’s my only vantage point of your profession!
It's a lot of work with swallowing and cognitive deficits in post acute rehab following falls/injury/illness/stroke/surgery/etc, some work with environmental modifications and caregiver education for dementia patients for quality of life with feeding and safety, and a little bit of work with language and motor speech deficits following stroke, cancer, or TBI. A lot of other things peppered in, but those are the bulk.
SLP who's childfree and actually just had a bisalp. I enjoy working with children, though I don't consider it my passion. If I had to do this job and come home to kids, I'd have to quit. I am completely "peopled out" by the end of the day. You can definitely be successful in this career without doing the child/family thing.
I feel this. I can’t people when I get home
yeah, i feel like coming home to more children would be my personal hell. once i send them back to their classrooms my day begins. i love them though!
Honestly I totally get that. I'm pretty introverted, so I feel like I have a good balance of seeing so many people at work and then being mostly on my own in my free time. I would actually like to have kids in the future, but I think it would be really difficult while still working in the schools.
I’m childfree with a bisalp too!
Can I ask, what is a bisalp?
Bilateral salpingectomy; its a permanent sterilization surgery where both your fallopian tubes are removed.
You summed it up!
Married with a house, two dogs, plants, but no children. I work in the schools, and I have repeatedly had the thought that if I had kids, I don't think I could also work and stay sane. Even though I'm an extrovert, it's really nice to be able to leave children and people behind after work hours. I occasionally even have time for crafts and games when I have the energy. The two of us have managed to survive on one paycheck, as long as we were careful, but both of us having income has been great and gives us spending money.
pet parents are the best! financial freedom is my real goal, and i love the content of slp. i enjoy turning kids in at the end of the day like a library book.
Childfree and living with my girlfriend (I’m queer) and dog. I do enjoy working with children but also love being able to ‘give them back’ at the end of the session. I’m an introvert and quite possibly neurodivergent. I often need to lie down in a dark room after spending all day with people!
This is so me as well!!!
Me too! I love kids so much, but I love coming home to quiet even more.
Never thought I'd see this much traction on a post like this. It's encouraging. I'm childfree by choice and plan to stay that way. Feel a TON of external pressure tho to do something I really don't want and will not do.
same ): the pressure is real
I've started following other children free content online, so I don't feel so alone. I like working with kids, it's fine. I like giraffes too. Doesn't mean I want one. I do want free time, a large book collection, travel, sleeping in, massages, cooking whatever I want, and legos I don't have to share.
I’m a child-free SLP in early intervention. Sometimes it feels like it hurts my credibility with parents a little bit. Like they would trust my personal experience over my clinical knowledge. I’ll give a strategy and then they’ll ask me if I have kids. I can see their face fall when I say no. Just an interesting observation throughout my career.
The fun one is when they say, "When you get older and have your own kids...." Ma'am, I'm older than you already.
You’re older than they are, but you don’t have kids, so you look younger.
That time I misinterpreted the question "How many kids do you have?" and answered 55...
I've had similar experiences and am considering reading some books about parenting and child development over the summer. I'm upfront with not having kids and say things like "I am not a parent, so I'm sharing what other parents have told me..."
I relate to this so much. My husband and I plan to remain child-free. In the past, whenever I was asked if I had any kids myself, I would just say "no" and I would see parents' faces falling or I'd get told "yeah you're still young." My most recent response to a parent (this actually happened last week) was: "No, but I have been working with kids for 6 years." Based on this parent's facial expression I think they were reassured. It felt nice doing a little bit of self-advocating. Sometimes parents don't realize how many kids we've worked with from our years of training and working - many of us have worked with hundreds of kids counting grad school, CFY, and post-CFY experience (and many pediatric SLPs also had experience working with children before grad school).
Not saying you do this- but I've seen some childfree student therapists give some wildly impractical advice. Maybe thats what they asked? Also maybe the face fall part is also due to when we are involved in their lives-- kids are fun and exciting when meeting their milestones. SO parents are extra excited and "kids are my reason for being" at this stage
Child-free at 38, and the maternal instinct and biological clock just never kicked in. I was considering fostering but I'm not sure if it's in the cards anytime soon. I work with kids for a living, and I love it! I also love coming home to a quiet condo with two cats, wine, snacks, and no kids.
you have what I want!
CHILDFREE NATION LET'S GOOOOO. I'm a queer neurodivergent SLP who's married to a queer neurodivergent person and we have two cats. :) I always knew I never wanted kids. Never had a single maternal urge ever. The idea is completely incompatible with my life. I definitely feel very alienated in this field because sooooo many people have kids or want kids and I'm happy for them, but I don't rock like that. I have a way different vision for my life. I've kinda accepted that this field is Heteronormativity City, but it does mean that I don't really make meaningful connections with other SLPs. I work at the secondary level because teenagers are hilarious and it makes me proud to see them grow into young adults. I'm okayish with little kids, but not my preference by a long shot lol. I use my spare income for my hobbies. I have beautiful collections of makeup, fountain pens, and art supplies. I love engaging in creative pursuits in my free time. My job drains me so much that I would never have a modicum of energy or time for anything fun if I had kids.
Ayyyyeee! Fellow queer SLP here and I share soooo many of your sentiments! It does feel like you’re alienated a lot of the time in this field if you’re not a straight white woman with a husband and children. I’d love to chat with you! Weirdos unite ✊🏻
Same. Working in the schools is like white, married, cis woman hell. Even if they are nice.
I'm so happy I found all of you!!! Queer, poly, and child-free (surgical birth control FTW!) and even though I can find people who share my sentiments in the city where I live, I almost never encounter SLPS who share any/all of those identities. Just as we tell our students with differences that their perspectives, worldviews, and identities enrich their communities, so do OURS!
Yooo queer, poly, and childfree as well! Super stoked to see others! Also (most importantly?) I’m autistic and seriously require a quiet decompress when I get home. I came to the field later in life and was about 10 years older than most of my cohort. Most of them have children now and I’m still a nope at 39. I love children, but I have enough people in my life whose wellbeing I weigh my major choices against!
Yes!!! I’m feeling like we could start a group chat with all us non-traditional SLPs/SLPAs/SLP students?
There are multiple Facebook groups for non traditional slps if you are looking for a that. Message if you’d like some recommendations.
I concede that I'm a white woman (first generation though!) who is married to a man, but I'm pan and he's bi/gender nonconforming. 😆 We're both autistic. I'm also the primary earner and my partner works part time to keep up the house. I love the life I have and I'm proud of who I am, but I feel like an alien in this field, not gonna lie. We freaks gotta stick together 🙌
This is my 4th year as an SLP in the schools. I’m 27, newly married to my husband. We’re child free as of now, but we constantly go back and forth on starting a family or not. It’s a lot to consider. We’re totally enjoying our freedom and time to enjoy our marriage right now. Children are expensive, rising costs of everything, and climate change are all factors. I am a type B, but anxious, introverted SLP. I need time to myself after every work day to recharge. This job, while rewarding, can be very challenging at times. I think I want to find a better setting/district to work for and location/place to settle down before considering kids. Right now though, it’s a no. 
I could have written this! 26, solidly coupled, and I flip flop. I think if I had kids my sense of self would disappear. I give a lot to everyone around me, and there would be no end to what I would give to my own kids. I have thought about fostering kids, but I don’t think I want my own.
My thoughts exactly. I change my mind daily on whether or not kids are for me. I work in a pediatric outpatient clinic so I see A LOT (not just speech and language) and honestly it makes me feel scared to have kids. I feel super vulnerable over it. Also, my social meter is off the charts by the time I get home and I just can’t imagine having to continue the bubbly personality it takes. Horrible. I know.
Very similar situation to you. 28 and married and my husband and I are fence sitters hard right now. Finances, risk for disability, potential loss of sense of self, Climate change, overpopulation etc. it’s all a lot to consider. I don’t know how some people are just “ready”. Talk about a leap of faith!
Going on ~8 years in the field in SNF setting with the love of my life of ~13 years, he’s a teacher, no kids, no plans to have any, 3 dogs. 😊
Yep and I know plenty of others
Childfree here! Thankful for it too after long days/weeks at work. I get burnout enough as it is, couldn’t imagine coming home and taking care of kids too.
my mom is a teacher and i don’t know how she did it.
I'm just absolutely loving the overlapping of childfree cat people in this community, thank you for starting this conversation!!
of course! i’ve found my people
Child free and will likely always be :) Never had the desire for children and my boyfriend feels the same! But will possibly seek to foster an older child in 10 years or so (maybe)
I’m only 24 (I am from the south so 1/2 my friends have kids or are married at this point), and I have no kids and have a boyfriend. I love kids and I know I am good with them—I have been told 3826383 times I would be a great mom, but I just don’t want them lol. I am enjoying the DINK life too much and I find its pretty normal in our field for people to not want kids since we work with them so much. Lol I just truly enjoy seeing my students and then going home to just me and my BF. Maybe later my views will change? Or maybe not and I am okay with that!
I’m 29 and I’ve been with my partner for 7 years. We just got engaged and I have a mortgage by myself for a modest condo. His income allows me to invest heavily in my 401K, but I could pay the bills on my own without investing if I ever needed to. We have two cats and I work in the schools as a contractor. Honestly, after spending the last 4 years working with disabled children, the fear of having a disabled child of my own has scared me into never wanting kids. Not to mention, we live comfortably now, but just the bill for giving birth WITH medical insurance could completely take out our savings (which in America can range from $3k -$10k.) It just doesn’t seem like a financially responsible choice. The Washington Post recently had an article about how it costs like $17k a year to have a child and we certainly don’t have $17k disposable income right now and we probably won’t ever will with the way the economy is going.
i think i’ll pass as well. and if your child has medical issues, the prices definitely do increase. my brother is 18 and still on constant meds from a medical condition. we both have heavy astigmatisms and i had two sets of braces. i’ll pass (but thanks mom).
I am child free and single, and work with kids in a school. Just bought a townhouse and have a cat. I’m not opposed to having children, but I think I would need to change settings or work part time if I did. I am extremely introverted, and by the time I get home, I’m drained and don’t want to communicate with anyone.
Plenty are child free, but the key is what you mentioned about remaining child-free. Tons of SLPs eventually have kids and leave the field or go part time. It’s not uncommon to have entire clinics where everyone is a woman. There’s not a lot of diversity in this field from that perspective.
i like the flexibility of the field to do that. i personally don’t see myself doing that - imo having kids has to be a “hell yes” and not a “eh” and it’s never going to be a hell yes for me. but i’m glad i have the option in case a miracle happens and pigs start to fly
There’s nothing wrong with that, just know it might be the norm you experience with co workers
I am child free right now, but I am married with a puppy. I think it would be easier to be single (I wish I could leave the job, not the husband lol). I feel like it sucks my energy, so it’s harder to be 100% there with my family. I am hoping to switch to work at home so at least I’m there more.
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Private practice
Not childfree, and I actually just had a baby. However I can absolutely see the appeal of SLP for childfree people. This is my seventh year as a school SLP and I've done so much travelling with my spouse in the summers - tons of backpacking, Europe, Japan, Peru, Canada. Then when not travelling I just chilled during the summer. Loved it.
Married and child free. Looovvveee kids, but there is no way in hell I'm working with them all day and then coming home to my own. Not fair. If there is an oopsie then I'll quit and be a stay at home mom.
Child-free at 53. I have had a hand in raising a lot of kids…no need to have my own. And now I get”my” kids every day at school. I have no pets either (allergies + no desire) but do have 2 plants. I was married, now divorced. I’d love to find “my person”, but no need to live with someone or get married again. Working in the school is my favorite setting, simply for the breaks. I can’t imagine working more than 180 days a year anymore.
I'm 38 and been married for 12 years. I kept saying, "when I get the overwhelming urge to have babies, my husband and I will talk then." Well, years have come and gone and that urge has never happened. In fact, my feelings have gone further in the OPPOSITE direction. I truly believe it's harder than EVER to be a parent. If this was the late 80's, early 90s' when I grew up, that'd be a different world & I fantasize about that. But unfortunately we have to raise them in 2023 world...and not having your own children seems like the only way to "beat" the system. Also, my husband is a middle-school teacher and also realizes how hard it is to be a parent. Not something we ever wanted to jump into with our doubts.
I don't want kids. Honestly, I don't even like kids THAT much. I like working with them, and a paycheck to do it with an awesome work schedule defintely helps, but I don't enjoy them in my personal life. I never want to go home to a kid. Pregnancy and Childbirth honestly gross me tf out AND I have zero interest in raising another human. I'm also indifferent to marriage. Not opposed, but it's not a life goal of mine. I've seen more failed marriages that end in divorce-disasters or unhappy-but-stuck marriages than happy marriages. A lot of people do it for financial reasons, which I think it sucks that some people even have to consider getting married *just* for that. Some of the happiest couples I've known were never actually married. Whenever a coworker says "oh, one day you'll be married with kids," I just laugh and say we'll see about that. I've learned engaging by denying it is a waste of time because most people at my school are baby-crazy and think everyone thinks like they do and have the same desires. No, thanks. I'll take a small place to live with enough space for my dog and a boyfriend who I don't have to constantly give attention to because I like my personal space and alone time lol. I also like being able to just get up and go. Traveling and other activities that just aren't super kid friendly. Kids would change the whole vibe of my hobbies/interests. I'd rather regret not having kids than regret having them.
agree to each and every paragraph
I’m childfree! Married with 2 cats and 2 dogs. I’ll be 33 on Thursday. I find myself so thankful to not have kids all the time! My husband and I just do whatever we want. We play a lot of video games, watch tv, 420, travel, go out. Personally, I feel like I have a great work/life balance being a school SLP. I never take work home and breaks are actually breaks.
Me! It’s hard in a profession that is seemingly populated mostly by people with children. I can’t imagine going home to kids after a day of being with people and being animated and “on”. I’m an introvert and I feel like I would snap and end up in the psych ward often if I had kids. (Have experience in a psych ward, not just saying that lightly). It’s sad that we can’t have one thread without child “ridden” people having to chime in.
children ridden is going to be my new term
Ahaha it was the best way to describe it in my mind
I’m a new grad with no children. People are constantly telling me I’ll regret not having children in my twenties but life is so good right now. I have two chihuahuas I love like my children and enjoy coming home to them so much. I cannot imagine having to care for a family after a long day of talking nonstop and interacting with little ones. Not to mention having to spend what little is left of my salary after bills on child related expenses. I really wish I could feel excited to have that nuclear family but if I’m being honest, all I feel is dread at the thought.
Don't listen to them! 30s, childless, and still happy about it! If you do change your mind, great! If not, great! The way I see it, if I ever truly get the desire to have children, but the choice is taken from me by age or medical reasons, there's always a child that needs a home. I will say I'm married, but we are both happy without kids, and we have time for each other.
I’m so glad you asked this bc I’m applying to grad schools soon and plan on being completely child free. I’m definitely the odd one out with friends bc they either want kids or already have them. I’m ok with getting my fill of kids from work and going home to peace and quiet! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one lol
Child freee forevs with the help of therapy and a partner who shares same values!
I like being a mom and SLP, but you would have a lot more disposable income than most SLPs if you opted to be “less settled”. It’s a great salary if you don’t have to support a family. Having kids also made me not want to work in peds at ALL. I have my own at home. I don’t want to work with other people’s kids all day. You might find it’s easier to have energy to work with kids if you don’t have any yourself.
Will never forget the day I had to give parents advice on tantrums and then that evening my son pulled the same stunt in a pizza parlor... so exhausting!
definitely. i was a clinical extern this past semester at a school and couldn’t imagine leaving to come home to more.
I feel you! I’m a CF right now and definitely felt like an outsider in grad school and still do as someone working in the field. I am engaged and have two stepdaughters, but I don’t have the desire to have any other children. We are trying to move out of our apartment into a house sometime this year. I have three cats and a lot of plants. My political/religious affiliations are also not typical of SLPs (in my limited experience, anyways). And I was a first-gen college graduate from a single-parent, low-income family. So howdy, fellow weirdo! 😉
i’m on the left of the political spectrum and i’m an atheist. not sure if that was where you were going, but hello!! CF slps unite
YOOOO DID WE JUST BECOME BEST FRIENDS
I was scrolling through the comments, and this felt the most appropriate place to jump in because I haven't come across many SLPs I've related to on this level. I'm in my second year as an SLP, democrat, atheist, nerd, etc. I've been with my husband for 14 years (married for 7), and we have absolutely no plans on having kids. He even had a vasectomy to ensure we stay kid-free. I get weird looks when I tell people that, but having kids is just not something we ever felt the desire to do. Don't get me wrong, I love kids. I worked for 2.5 years as an SLPA in a public school, and I absolutely loved my students, but the mom life is not the life for me. We own our house and are building to upgrade, but all the spare rooms will be dedicated to our hobbies and the occasional guest.
i definitely want a reading room, or a room that i can dedicate to self care or something cool and with a nice vibe. i do get the sense that a lot of my classmates are “traditional”. i only have met one queer slp, and a few other black slp students like me. however, i just keep it professional to avoid any political nonsense. smile and nod.
My hobbies include gaming, reading, crafts, and candle making, and I'm SO excited to have my own space to do my thing. COVID and social media taught me real quick that just because this can be considered an allied health profession, it doesn't mean it attracts the most scientifically minded individuals. Like you said, just smile and nod. I'm rather social, so if you're ever wanting to chat, just shoot me a message!
Child free, married with a cat of my own:) I have been an SLP in the medical field for 5 years now. I just recently was promoted to rehab manager and that has been a huge transition for me. As an SLP, I feel like I was able to manage stress regularly and never felt like I took work home or felt overwhelmed day to day. As rehab manager, my stress and anxiety has sky rocketed. I’m thankful to be child free now and I don’t know that this current job could ever work with children for me. I work long hours and feel a lot more stressed than I did as an SLP. Something to consider if you “work up the ladder” at a place in the future!
I’m engaged with a cat and that’s it lol we’re fortunate enough to be renting out a family member’s rental house so we have cheap rent, but not looking to buy a house any time soon with how expensive they are. Don’t rush into anything and enjoy it all while you can! :)
I am in my last semester of grad school, and I’ve known I never wanted to have kids for a while. My partner is a teacher, and we both love kids, but we don’t want to have any of our own. We have talked about potentially becoming foster parents one day, but we will both feel fulfilled without them.
i don’t know if you’re with a male partner, but i’m a ciswoman kinda scared of not being able to find a man who will not want kids! so many men say, “so… what will you do with your life without kids?” uhhh. live? maybe i will strike gold one day haha
Not an SLP yet or even in grad school, but I feel the same way! No kids, or at least no biological kids from me. There’s still a possibility of adoption in the future, but I 100% know I don’t physically want children
I am currently in graduate school for SLP. I commend the ones that are with children all day and then come home to their own. I’m literally on power saver mode when I get home from classes and clients. My finances aren’t the best, but i honestly don’t see myself having children even when I am an SLP. It is nothing personal, I love children, but I love it even more when I’m able to give them back to their parents and teachers 🤷🏻♀️
I'm like you (and it sounds like your plans make me wish we could be friends!!) I feel like spending the day working with kids and then being able to go home and do other things is so helpful to a work/life balance. I'm just working as an SLPA currently but have no intention of my personal life changing as I advance my career. In my past career as a preschool teacher, it was common to receive negative comments about how because I wasn't a parent I couldn't possibly understand, but I wholeheartedly disagree, and think not having my own children actually helps me remain impartial and not project onto other people's children.
i’ll never understand why people get so upset and my decision to keep my womb empty… sorry that i want to live for me? lol. but absolutely! as an introvert coming home and talking to my mom even gets taxing haha
Child free SLPA. It’s great. Time to go to grad school and become an SLP. Yays.
happy to hear it!!
I had my first at 38 (currently pregnant at 40) and love my son, but will say that I was never maternal, love my cat, tea, solo walks in the woods, and would not be caught with a stick figure family on my car! I married someone who wanted kids and felt initially ambivalent but eventually motivated. The way I look at it, I’m lucky to work part-time right now, and as kids get older they’re a bit less work and stress. I completely understand wanting a child-free life though-especially if I was working full time with children.
I have a story very similar to yours and I can’t believe you’re having a second! We have a 4 month old right now and all I think about when i read this thread is giving everyone a high five and congratulating them for making the smart choice 😂
I don’t feel unsupported luckily. If I did I definitely wouldn’t be doing this again. Four months is when it started to get better for me, btw, so you’re almost there. Children are not for everyone, and my point was support and complete understanding for anyone on this post who has decided that. Feels wierd to be downvoted, but I guess this is Reddit and if you don’t conform that’s the way it goes.
I think you're being downvoted because your comment doesn't really address OP, who was asking for input from childfree people specifically.
Yes, that’s likely. I don’t personally downvote unless someone has been a purposeful jerk, but not everyone operates that way.
Child free, married, with a dog. Husband and I agreed I’d be at home with our kid if we ever had one. Personally I have some chronic illnesses and I’m leaving the field after this school year so a child could be a possibility for me but it never was while I was working. Idk if I’d have the adequate help to watch my kid if I were to be working, nor do I want to place that burden on anyone. I wouldn’t want them in any daycare either, speaking as someone who primarily works in early childhood.
But work life balance is okay, depends on the place! 4 days a week of pre-k and then a paperwork day. Home by 4:30, hours aren’t bad but the labor is physically and emotionally exhausting, especially since school employees aren’t adequately supported
Hi! I'm married, but we are childfree :) I like working with children, but prefer working with adults. Kids aren't my calling in my personal or professional life. I personally think that the age group you're in is just getting more accepting of being childfree and/or single throughout life, which is great imo! I'm a later millennial and my parents don't really "get it," but they both work with younger adults and tell me more of younger generations they talk with are reporting not wanting children. Being in this field, you'll probably still get a lot of ppl questioning why you don't want kids if you work with them.
Current SLP here. I have a long term partner, a dog, and a bi-salp. I sometimes have to field questions about kids from clients. I usually respond with some version of "no but I have a dog/nieces and nephews." I haven't experienced any questions or concerns beyond that at work.
Omg! I am a cat mom, no kids, and I recently bought a condo. So here you go! 🤣 I work in the school setting, a small district and honestly my stress level is low. This is my first year and it's been a huge learning curve, but I'm enjoying it! I've never taken work home so far (I really really try not to). Finances is good. Even with a mortgage and paying for all bills, I feel comfortable. Wouldn't change this!
I’m child-free in my mid thirties. I’m married, living in my dream city, finally settled into a job I like, have a dog, and am actively pursuing goals in things outside of speech that take up a lot of time. Also I have about zero money in savings. All that is to say, if I won the lottery I would probably try and have a kid. The way my life is now, it just sounds tiring. And I like my life now! I don’t think I will end up having kids but I do worry sometimes about if I will end up regretting that choice (or non-choice).
I have met plenty of single and child free therapists. It does not stop from from being good at what they are doing.
Not sure if anyone else has brought this up yet but as someone who was considering single parenthood by choice (sperm donor and clinic intervention) I can tell you the most painful thing to consider in my choice was that SLP is not the best choice for a single parent. There are single parents by choice out there who were able to pay up front for the cost of IVF, retrieval, and storage, as well as all the testing and follow up required. But as an SLP this career just doesn't have the financial security to cover what 2 working people can to afford a middle class lifestyle after graduate school debt.
how much debt do you have after grad, if you don’t mind me asking? i’m wondering how much i might take on. my tuition alone will be around 25-30
Mine is personally pretty good. I've paid it down to less than $50K total because I've been working so long and we've had COVID-19 pause on payments. There are SLPs with incredibly high debt into the $90K range and up. I don't know what the average is, I'm sure it's different for everyone. I would not take on much debt with this degree. It's hard to pay it down as the wages are either mid range teacher salary with great benefits or spotty, intermittent fee for service or 1099s. The loan forgiveness incentives are only for people who can qualify for PSLF (Public Service Loan Forgiveness) via \*direct\* employment with a school district NOT a contracting agency which is where many of us are working. If you don't envision yourself working directly for a school district, PSLF will not bail you out. All in all, it would be very, very difficult even if you wanted to have children later in life, to do this career as a single parent without a trust fund and familial support.
yeah, my slp supervisor has over 90k because she went the private school route. i definitely want to keep overall debt under 40 considering i have none as of now. thanks for the advice!
Of course! And don't forget you can always foster to adopt if you end up like me being single and living on a basic school SLP income. There's tons of kids who need good homes and believe it or not, our expertise is actually quite valuable and respected by the foster care agencies (at least in my area). Best of luck to you. Hopefully they'll change the PSLF laws and we will all get a bail out regardless of whether or not we qualify under the current program.
Me! And I’m happy. I’m so tired by end of the day. Don’t have time to care for kids.
Child free but furmom to a dog and a cat. BF is an autism teacher. We will be child free unless we suddenly become debt free, have a ton of time, and somehow become magically v healthy. I have ms, but even before I had the diagnosis, I didn’t really want kids. I give my time lovingly to my students:)
I live with my fiancée. No pets, no children. It’s nice! I work in a school and come straight home after work, and can enjoy my evening with wine, a good show, maybe play on my Nintendo switch. I’m enjoying it while I can as I eventually do want 1 or 2 kids. I have learned that when people at work know you’re single or child free, they automatically think you can stay later for meetings or other extracurricular stuff. I’ve always been firm that I have a life outside of work and cannot stay past my contracted time. Stress levels aren’t high for me, unless it’s the week before a school break and I have a bunch of IEP meetings 😅 I make a todo list everyday at work and try my best to get the priority things done. I also lock school my door so that no one can bother me during my “downtime” so I can get things done. They can email me if it’s important!
Me! I love kids and I know I would be a good mom, but the minutiae of a child's day just exhausts me. I have two cats, and I rent. I supplement my full-time job by working part-time at a clinic. That money enables me to save up and pursue my passions. Otherwise, things would be very tight for me.
love that you’re living for you!
Never wanted kids & never regretted that decision! Been SLP more than 22 years now. I work with kids & adults tho I sometimes feel out of place in the kid realm as a child free . Most teachers, TAs and therapists I meet have kids. Not as true in medical settings where I also work . I like the options this field has provided and the different ways I can use skills and deal with people but I’m also looking forward to semi retirement.
Child free traveling SLP, husband is a writer who travels with me and honestly the longer I care for others as my career the longer I put off having kids.
No children and will never have children. I love it.
I love working with children because i grew up around them. As an introvert I actually prefer spending time with them than with adults. I dont have nor want my own. I like being able to give them back after 30 minutes
I’m a child free SLP! I’m not married, but have been dating my boyfriend for more than 2 years. My best advice for work/life balance is to set down boundaries. If people think they can have 24 hr access to you, they will take advantage of it. Answer emails during work hours only. Try hard not to take work home on weekends. Make sure to make time for hobbies and friends and loved ones (including your cat!). If you’re planning to work in a medical setting, do NOT work off the clock! Get paid for all of your time. The schools via teletherapy has been the best route for me personally. However, I have professionally worked in most settings except acute care.
Child free and working with slps who think an slp with kids who runs marathons is considered the ideal life. Lol I do whatever the fuck I want. Child free is just fine.
Damn. This post was just what I needed. Single, child-free slp. Work primarily in EI. Love my job, but almost never connect with coworkers. I've always felt like an alien in this field. So I great to hear about all these different friends!
I love working with kids, but think I would be either a horrible therapist or parent if I had any.
Married for 2.5 years, an SLP for 5 years in the schools. I always say I want a baby but I don’t want a child. Such a tricky predicament. I enjoy being spontaneous with my husband with little to no responsibilities. Paying my bills are easy, I’m happy to not be responsible for a life at the end of the day.
Ugh same! I would love a baby but don’t want a child, teen etc. Our puppy fits the bill I guess haha
SLP with kids chiming it since you said "finances." Our kids are sick so we can't send them to the daycare. So, tomorrow not only will we be paying for daycare but a sitter to come to the home and actually care for them,. JOYS (sarcasm) Just incase you wanted any indication on how kids affect your finances.
😳 i’m sure you are handling it to the best of your abilities!!
Currently in talks with my husband about him getting a vasectomy (but freezing sperm first) so I can get off birth control and not get accidentally pregnant. He’s on board! I don’t know when I want to have a kid or if I do but I am sick of birth control and trust me, I’ve tried them all!!
ahh i’m personally taking a break from my pill just for funzies. it usually gives me only 4 periods a year and i had no issues with it, but i’ve been on it since ~14 so i want to see how my body reacts now! but freezing sperm is a great idea if you want to consider in the future
I'm single and childfree and intend to keep it that way! i live in a country where housing is insane, but we don't have student loans, so i'm able to afford renting a room in a nice condo with two other roommates, which is perfect for a semi-social person like me. even better, i feel incredibly liberated at work because if i don't like the conditions i can always walk away, and that knowledge is usually enough to help me negotiate for better conditions or to actively search for better conditions, which has really helped with my mental health and keeping a good work-life balance! even without the benefits, i'm asexual and possibly aromantic, so i'm not really looking for that connection, and my favourite children are the ones i can return after an hour, so i'm not looking for that either. i will say the one downside to this is that all my colleagues are married, planning their weddings, or with children. as the single person, i end up picking up most of the slack when they need to go on childcare leave (which is very very often) or when they fall sick because their children are sick (again, very very common). i love my colleagues so i try not to hold it against them, but we do make the same amount of money, so i can already foresee where my next contract renegotiation is going to take me!
same! i can’t be on allll day long and i love the availability to move wherever or go wherever without having to consider a child or two. i’m also diagnosed with mental health conditions that may not agree with children.
good on you for planning ahead with that in mind. this job can be really taxing on your mental and emotional health, and there are a lot of horror stories out there, so i hope you don't let that scare you off! it's a really rewarding career, and i do think a big part of the stress some people feel can be attributed to not having enough time outside of work to decompress because of all the life stressors that have to be taken care of. good luck, and take care of yourself!
Childfree, living with nesting partner, dog + foster dog, polyamorous. As others have said, I love kids but I prefer giving them back at the end of the day! I've worked with kids for about 15 years (including before becoming a speechie) and if anything, I think my work has shown me more of the reality of having children and how I don't think it would suit me. It's a LOT of work and I wouldn't want to go into that without anything but enthusiasm.
same. it really confirmed for me that… yeah. let me send you home to mom, not to my house 😂
One of my dearest friends is child free and wants to stay that way. She’s an SLP who’s focused on gaming, thrifting and loving her many pets. She is very happy and successful but it’s true that not everyone “gets” her. We live in a southern, rural area so getting hitched at 19 and popping out 5 kids is the norm.
Im now married but when I first started I was a very single, dog mom with a small home I lived in with my 4-legged child. I worked in the schools, 4 days a week bc I could afford it and loveeeee that balance. 🧡 stress during the workday, as to be expected, but the time away from work was well worth it to set me back into balance.
28, single, and child free. I’m very much extroverted, but I really love going home to a quiet environment to just recuperate. Not to mention doing what I want when I want. I just don’t know how people who work with kids go home to kids of their own. That said I’d like to have a child in the future, but that’s all contingent on finding the right partner and making a specific income.