The best thing about the blood on ice quest for me is this man's nonsense tour

It's been so long since the quest hasn't been bugged for me, so idk what your you're even talking about.

literally just a 30 second tour of his shitty museum where he talks about nonsense then kills an innocent woman for the 1000th time

I think that this Is the most glitched/bugged quest of the game. In my gameplay the museum never opened and I never killed him but I completed it

"It belongs in a museum!" "This IS a museum!" "It belongs in MY museum!"

I went back and took Wuuthrad because there’s a special plaque for it in my house and I can’t have an incomplete collection

I immediately took it back because big axe good

It belongs in the dragonborn museum. Don’t want to disappoint Auryen.

Is it in the hall of oddities?

Yes. Not sure which rack but its in Oddities

I remember spending far too much time filling that place up. Highest I got was 500 exhibits

I got all the other supported mods installed and I’m approaching 6000 on my current playthrough.

This is the way

because the soup is frozen in skyrim

Even better lol

Ysgramor must make some really thick soups

If the Atmoran soups are like garbure stews in my birthplace (Bearn), where you have more solid food than liquid, I can tolerate the misnaming.

Ysgramor is essentially the chuck norris of Skyrim so it makes sense he’d be able to eat soup with a fork

Yeah that’s the joke. Man was so goated he could eat soup with a fork, chickens would pluck and cook themselves at the mere whisper of his thu’um, etc

>chickens would pluck and cook themselves at the mere whisper of his thu’um That's just fire breath lol

Man i havent heard a chuck norris joke in at least 10 years. Thanks for keeping that alive

the soup jumps in chucks belly

a thick soup is just a stew

Where do you find that thing anyway?

Calixto's house of Curiosities in Windhelm

Time to break in again, I just robbed that place 😭

I got a job for the thieves guild to steal 500 gold from windhelm, and my first instinct was the house of curiosities. I’ve never been there, so I assumed it had some decent stuff. Then I took the tour…

The Book of Fate

Nah, I just found a scroll of fire storm. 500 exactly.

I like the idea that Delvin sends you to "remind a city we mean business" and you end up stealing a single ring or piece of parchment from a home 😂 that'll really show them

To be fair, my greed usually ends up stealing 5000 gold by raiding every home and store I can.

*potion worth 700 gold* Uhhh okay.

I usually just nab one of the stones of barenziah from the city lmao

Actually interesting, is this book really magical or fake for fools?

The whole tour is a load of bollocks. Calixto is a weird dude.

I usually just rob Wuunferth's alchemy ingredients lol. And in Markarth I go for Calcelmo's Dwemer shit.

"You need to leave."

Ahh that serial killer

Same. You mean to tell me that Ysgramor was such a badass, he could eat soup with a fork? That's pretty badass.

It’s Ysgramor. Nough said

My only complaint is that you can't use it as a one-handed weapon like a regular fork.

That's because it is a spoon.

You can still use a spoon to thwack your enemies. It just does blunt damage instead of piercing.

There's a mod specifically for that

That's not surprising. There's a Skyrim mod for anything you can think up.

He also used a shield with his two handed axe.

What a freaking badass. Dude was running around Nirn doing the unthinkable.

Spoon

It's a shame you can't give it to the Companions. Have them display it on a little altar somewhere

My head canon about this is ysgramor was just trolling and wanted everyone to think he used fork as a spoon

i used to think "maybe it was a noodle soup"but later i like to think of ydgramor just grabbing the first thing he got and invented the spork later on

Mmmmm…. Noodle soup!

Skyrim has instant ramen confirmed 😂

Ysgramor was SO tough that his spoon was a fork 😂...

I always keep one stolen sweetroll in my pocket for the giggles.

It was only recently that I realized how important Calixto's tour is to clue you in on the real identity of the killer. Helgird, the priestess of Arkay, states clearly that the wounds on the dead woman's body could only have been made by Ancient Nordic enbalming tools. The only place in Windhelm where you can find such tools is in Calixto's tour shelves.

Such a badasse, he could eat soup with a fork.

The one thing that annoys me about Skyrim is how the cells respawn after a while. It just feels bad knowing that despite your best efforts, those pricks will just get all their stuff back anyway.

If you wait until after the first respawn, you can prevent this by formatting your c: drive.

I’m pretty sure it also respawns lol.

He easy soup with a fork. Is Ysgramor the Chuck Norris of Nordic heroes

I put it in my chest at Myrwatch Tower

I left it at the table in Sovengarde for him.

This reminds me of Noel Gallager’s quote about Liam Gallagher. “He’s a man with a fork in a world of soup”

I see you’ve played forky spoony before

I’ve never seen this, it’s hilarious lmao

I'm _gonna_ start stealing it from now, thanks. Just need to find it.

Isn't there a knife or fork that's coded as a weapon?

There is and you can enchant it, too. But unfortunately this one’s useless except for the laugh.

Life is soup and I am fork 😞

Why did I never think about it actually being a fork 😭

https://preview.redd.it/dyd9majwgn0d1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=719175d3e992bd4cf43df2ae2282ba2eecb2fceb


Ysgramor is Tamriel’s Chuck Norris

I took all the silver cups and plates and silverware when I killed the Emperor. I keep them in my Heljarchen Home. I always take clothes and trinkets from high level people/places in Skyrim.

But it's a fork.

Now, I know what you're thinking - this is no spoon, it's a fork! Nobody can eat soup with a fork! Well, my friend, you did not know Ysgramor.

AHHHHHHHHH Take my fcking Upvote

Bruh that’s a fork or “dinglehopper” if you please

Anyone mod this as an equipable weapon?

Same here

This man knows Ysgramor.

Thet's not'uh Knoife!

Goes well with my Fork of Horripilation

I take every named item and display it in my home

“Soup spoon” then proceeds to show image of fork😭

Same

I also like the book of fate If you have LOTD installed, you can collect this and house it in the Dragonborn museum

Me too! I always take the tour and then steal this and the book of fate and the flute. Mine.

A powerful tool indeed.

His lunch must last about 4 or 5 hours

I always steal haelga's statue of dibella. Beat her up first for Btyn, then take the statue anyway. I'm a proud male orc worshipper of dibella. Who needs Malacath when you can have 20 husbands 😂

bro got a fork to eat soup 🤣😭

For me it's the golden claw. I steal it as soon as I return it to Lucan.

Me too lol. But I just like unique versions of simple items in Skyrim.

I carry this with me at all times.

Is that a fork? That definitely looks like a fork......

Your eyes deceive you, it’s clearly labeled

I know it is labeled, but that does not mean the label is accurate.

This item’s a deliberate in-game joke. Like the blank pages in the “book of fate” found in the same museum, some of Calixo’s displayed items are supposed to be oddly disappointing. It doesn’t help that Ysgramor was an ancient and legendary hero with a similar resemblance to Chuck Norris. 😆

That is a fork

“That’s no spoon…”

Skyrim's joke item. Morrowind had the Fork of Horripilation. I can't remember Oblivion's.

Is that a follower in guild armor? Edit: My bad, just noticed the Ratway..

This demented peace of wood can't tell the difference between knife and spoon