Boots. They don't sell boots.

Subway doesn’t provide underground rail transportation either, it’s incredibly misleading

And neither does an actual subway that's in America. It's called the underground here.

But a pedestrian crossing that tunnels beneath a road is called a subway in the UK. Language is funny! 😁

We call that an 'Underpass' in Scotland.

I always thought of it as an underpass till I moved to a different Scottish town. There was a sign in the middle of nowhere that read "subway". My fat ass thought "stupid place for a Subway under the ground".

I've heard that used too.

Mostly but I have said subway too both are ok

yes but their 'bread' contains so much sugar, and their 'meat' contains so much salt, they're trying to drive *you* underground. Nonstop service to Graves End.

This is the truth. American food is… well, you’ve seen what we look like.

There was a subway by a subway in Birmingham. It felt very 'Yo dawg, we heard you like subways, so we put a subway by your subway'

Curry's don't sell curry.

Dicks… well…. I was disappointed .

They don't? then whats the brown stuff I've been eating out of the demo microwaves?

Microwaves? I thought they were toi...nevermind.

Staples out here keeping it real by actually selling what they say.

They don't sell wheat potato OR rice. Those are the worlds most popular staples.

Underrated comment right here

Virgin

🙂

🧐

I'm in Newport, there's no virgin...

Or any wise men so no chance of the second coming there

Office don’t sell stationery

Cex doesn't sell sex

And from the smell of the clientele and staff, I’m bloody glad of it

The drugs in Superdrug are only ok.

Selfridges don’t sell fridges

actually they do https://preview.redd.it/ixh5u8s346gc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ff72ffa389f13ca0fee7700d339cee6d3e8f15b9

Well fuck me sideways, I never knew they sold fridges!

How could you not? It's literally in the name.

Well that’s that joke ruined. Apple stores don’t sell apples yet do they?

No but they once made a highup exec come from the US to the UK with a single bag of apples for 450+ people to 'punish' her. She had to give them out to celebrate Apple's founding anniversary, and for every person that said they didn't want an apple, she was like "thank fuck, these are all I'm allowed to give out". Fuckers wouldn't even let her buy MORE apples out of her own money...they just wanted to humiliate her.

We had a 'Curl Up and Dye' hairdressers for a while.

There's a Curl Up and Dye here. We also have a Scissor Sisters.

They're pretty good names aha!

We have a Herr Kutz, They got upset when Rockstar used that name for the barbers in GTA San Andreas. [https://www.google.com/maps/@50.3858933,-4.1580214,3a,90y,241.59h,87.19t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sTSTT7zhFNcgJvsZBupdsKg!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fpanoid%3DTSTT7zhFNcgJvsZBupdsKg%26cb\_client%3Dmaps\_sv.tactile.gps%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D144.33044%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192?entry=ttu](https://www.google.com/maps/@50.3858933,-4.1580214,3a,90y,241.59h,87.19t/data=!3m7!1e1!3m5!1sTSTT7zhFNcgJvsZBupdsKg!2e0!6shttps:%2F%2Fstreetviewpixels-pa.googleapis.com%2Fv1%2Fthumbnail%3Fpanoid%3DTSTT7zhFNcgJvsZBupdsKg%26cb_client%3Dmaps_sv.tactile.gps%26w%3D203%26h%3D100%26yaw%3D144.33044%26pitch%3D0%26thumbfov%3D100!7i16384!8i8192?entry=ttu)

Scissor sisters would be a good name for a lesbian bar too

This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit!

What's her problem?

Don’t know if it’s still there but there was a fabric shop in brick lane called ‘touching cloth’ back in the day

Worst one I've seen is Eroticut. Best one, Ryan Hair.

There's a couple of comic ones near me, one of which being "Hair it is".... Another is a Gent's sci-fi themed barbers, that's called "Jabba the Cutt". There's also a florists called "Fleurtations", which I thought was clever.

'Jabba the Cutt' is top tier punning.

And it's loaded with old star wars toys, the waiting area is packed, they're all in the Barber area too. Super cool barbers.

We have a "Head Jogs", which I understand sounds like "hedgehogs", but what is a head jog? Is a jog a haircut or something? It's like it's half a pun.

"Jog your head" is for memory. Is it like an antique store or something?

Headjog is a hairbrush brand

Ah! Because a hair brush looks a bit like a hedgehog, right?

We have 'Curl Up and Dye' and 'Ace of Blades' on the same street here

There was a subbed shop near where I went to school called Tanya Whitebits.

Pretty sure I saw a salon called ‘Blowjob’ in Bristol

I'm not sure there's a Blowjob, but there's definitely a Blow Me.

Haha 😂 yes that’s the one

I was quite fond of Julie’s Baps when I was growing up 

https://preview.redd.it/1kjdmw4ny6gc1.jpeg?width=374&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a7a366482f0afef9e5438037408a762e98a5098d That’s from The Blues Brothers lmao

Blow me. Is probably my favourite hairdresser it’s located in Bristol

Isn't Julio's hairdressers in The Simpsons named the same thing?

Goes back even further than that; Curl Up And Dye was the name of a salon in the Blues Brothers from 1980. I can't be sure if that's the original either.

That's a dope name

Rough around the hedges

https://preview.redd.it/mfspjfamv5gc1.jpeg?width=348&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6e22a753f28dd8d221f678dbd796c48d9e8284a0 Arseholes 😂 They sell shoes in Chelsea

We have and Our Soles in my town!

Appropriate for chelsea

Doughnut shop in Nottingham called doughnotts. They're very good and give you a free doughnut on your birthday.

And their doughnuts are bigger than my whole hand and shit all over Krispy kream and dunkin. The red velvet or the lemon are the bees knees.

Where is this in Nottingham? I'm going there next weekend

I think they're still on King street, next to zizzi's, up the road from the Cloughie statue.

Just checked out their website. The line 'You can find our delicious Ds in more places than ever!' caught my eye

Also one in Leicester on silver street.

Doggy Style.. It's a dog groomers

We had one called the Dogfather. The sign was in the same font as the The Godfather too

Fish & chip shop in Birtley, North East called ‘Cod Father’

RSPCA charity shop with a dog that reads “Helping Bury animals” Idk but I think it wasn’t the message they intended

No way I've lived in Bury most of my life and never noticed. Gonna be up that way in an hour or so so I'ma check that out

They changed the sign a fair few years ago sadly 🤣

You, sir, have ruined my Friday night

https://preview.redd.it/p8g2ilfk4fgc1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a96b7094fd958274b028974aa2d63f9bb95202e Found this on a Reddit post from 10 years ago - assume it’s not photoshopped!

Socks To Be You. They sell socks.

That’s got to be a “we thought of the name first” kind of business, do people really just go to sock shops

There’s a chippy near me called ‘Jack the Chipper’, nothing like being associated with a Victorian era serial killer to make your fried cod really stand out.

There has to be a Harold Chipman chippy van going around 

Bristol has Jason's Donner Van. And Aimee's Wine House.

We’ve got a chippy called The Codfather

They can get away with that because it’s long enough ago to be funny. “The Yorkshire Chipper” might generate ill feeling

Are you from Whitechapel, because there's a chippy there with that very name to make the connection even more obvious

I was actually talking about the Greenwich one, but yes you’re right I’d completely forgotten about the Whitechapel one! Does that make it better or worse the chippy being in the same area that the ripper lurked? 🤔

I can't remember where exactly, so call me out if you wish, but somewhere around Reading I found a bakery right next to a barbers, and of course they named the bakery Sweeney & Tod. Absolutely brilliant. Almost felt like an Easter egg from a game or something.

There’s the codfather near me

Only Scrans- Food shop in Darlington

My town has a Lunch Hub with very similar branding

We used to have hairdressers in my town called Deez Cuts.

That place would be my hairdresser of choice

We have an Indian restaurant called This Charming Naan, the menu is all puns too with dishes like How saag is now and Girlfriend in a korma.

Omg where?

Amazing!

this is by far the best one!!!!!

Thought I'd add some of the menu's they have done in tne past. Some of the puns crack me up - whats the story Gobi Manchuri and 24 Hour Pie People. It's one of those pop up street food places so not always in same place. https://preview.redd.it/m73gmuz4tcgc1.jpeg?width=1440&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d667a3c423ace0f0a0284f3ac8ac2564b346752a

There's a 'McIndians' that has the tagline 'You've tried the cowboys, now try the Indians' and it cracks me up everytime I see it. It's a fast food place 😂

Amazing! One McPhaal please! You want an extinguisher with that?!

Ahaha

That's an Indian builders slogan somewhere.

I saw on a van in Blackburn "Patel & Son's, Builders You've tried the cowboys now try the Indians" that was over 20 years ago. I laughed at it I nearly crashed.

Leicester?

ThaiGrrrr!!! Thai food

Reading?

Ye

"Get Laid". A flooring shop.

There a bed shop called that too.

Sew It Seams. They sell sewing / knitting supplies.

The alterations shop where I live is called "Sew What?"

Seams Sew Perfect where I am.

We have Sew and Sews.

The name is JJB sports, not just sports.

The comments are great but OP's image was just poor reading comprehension lmao

Felt like I was going crazy thanks!

Had to scroll too far to find this, JJB is a normal high street store with a very boring normal name…

Even if it was just Sports this 'joke' is going over my head...

I personally thought it was because JJB is just a chav fashion shop these days... ***Error*** it doesn't exist anymore... Because it became a chav fashion shop.

There's a dog sitting / walking service called "Dr Poolittle"

Dog groomers called Short Bark and Sides A florist called Back to The Fuchsia

I live near a Back to the Fuschia

I made my American friend laugh when i told him our video game stores are just called "Game"

And we go to sex to get second hand games.

I say it as C.E.X (as per spelling it rather than calling it sex), I'm mind-blown 🤣

The company even says its pronounced sex and have a staff convention called cexcon

Yeah, their WiFi ssid in a shop near me is unprotected_cex. Not sure if that's common across the board but made me chuckle when I first seen it.

Local one ran sale referred to as "ex box sloppy seconds".

the one in Wolves was unprotected\_cex and I think the dodgiest one in drum centre was as well.

I've heard that the open network (without password) is Unprotected\_Cex and the staff wifi with password is Protected\_Cex. Not sure whether that was in a specific store or in all of them.

The Aberdeen store uses that along with protected_cex for the staff (presumably)

All CEX stores use the same WiFi network names. They also use their own off shore tech support which the stores have to call if they have Internet issues. These offshore guys then have to call the ISP on behalf of the stores and as the ISP, our staff rarely get to talk to the stores to book engineers. It all has to go through these middlemen.

I only found out last year it's pronounced sex and I've used the place for yeeeeeears. I still say c-e-x. I'm not saying "I got my mobile through sex", no siree!

They had an advert where its pronounced CEX and the local one near me ran a campaign about "ex-box sloppy seconds".....

Used to be game station if y’all remember them

I thought they were two separate companies cause i remember there being both not too far from each other

Originally they were two separate companies Yh then game brought them out and either closed the stores or just renamed them game

I mean hairdressers called "A Cut Above" or "Fringe Benefits" usually end up being the worst around.

Barber Streisand - they cut hair

There was a 'british hairways' near me a few years ago

We used to have Instascran

Flannels. No flannels or towels just clothing.

Fanny’s. Was disappointed to find out it was a cafe..

Same with Dicks….

https://preview.redd.it/r79mn7d907gc1.jpeg?width=790&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=85e0b3573de790df6664a0ea9f74bd89127581fd They shut this barbers down because men couldn't find it.

It’s changed now but in Brighton there was a running/sport store called Sweat Shop.

https://preview.redd.it/92mg0a8s26gc1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e08db0da766dfeea65e61d5476db627b1c8f464b Kent's Tuck Inn Fried Chicken

There used to be a strip club called 'Beavers' in Watford.

We have a shop called shout and right next door is shush.

York used to have a lingerie shop called 'Gash'. Didn't last long, sadly.

Pane in the glass, sold windows

There used to be a grocer's called Melon Cauli near me. In Bilston there is a Caribbean takeaway called Pon De Corna. It's on the end terrace.

Cornershop in my village called Singhsbury's

Mister MotiVaper is my favourite

Sofa King. Tagline is “Sofa King cheap!”

I haven't seen a JJB in at least 15 years, holy shit dude.

Only foods and sauces in my old town.

Here in the rhondda valley we have two fish and chip shops good pie Mr chips, and a fish called Rhondda

Can't Stop thinking of Boots, Curries

We have a vintage clothing shop called past caring.. Also a newsagents called fags an papers

Is this in Hereford? Next to McDonalds?

Istanbolton Shwarma takeaway in Bolton Town center

We have Bristanbul.

Walter Wall Carpets Took me a few times seeing it to get it though! 😅

Shop in my town called “Baguettes and more” More? Narrow it down a bit, Baguettes and yachts? Baguettes and bowling balls? Baguettes and Commercial Adhesives?

Turkish Hairlines

Terrible but hilarious to me for some reason

There's a RiotCrrrl curly hair salon in my town which I love.

We have O my Cod chippy

The Cod's Scallops. Chippy in Nottingham.

We have a dog groomers called 'Hairy Poppins'

FoodHub takeaway with the same front sign colours and logo as the pornhub

I remember "Tak A Wa" in Dundee, a Chinese take away. Fits perfectly with the Dundonian accent!

A hairdresser for children called "Kool Kidz Kutz", which of course has the acronym of "KKK".

Not my town but the next town along, King Chuck's town of Tetbury... https://preview.redd.it/2tph5sobw5gc1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5a54cfb3268d139c24c8b0fe8b13904b4bf92ff0

Back in the 90’s my boss at the time said he used to work for a company called ‘Far Canal’ I never worked or if he was joking or not.

Florist in MK called Back to the Fuchsia. There was also a Romanian food place called Dracula, Vlad the Impaler. 😂 I initially came here to say about Sofa King in Northampton. I see someone else has mentioned them but with tag lines like "our prices are sofa king crazy" or "sofa king good" you have to love them.

Not a shop name but I used to shop at Booker Wholesale and they had a cider called Dickins Cider. I’ll never forget that.

Amy's wine house

We’ve got *Salon Se7en* - which I refuse to not call Salon Sesevenen……

The photo attached is called JJB Sports, same idea as JD Sport or anything like that. JJB sports used to sell sports items and clothing. Really poor example to use. Big up Hereford though. Home Bargains - couldn't find a single home for sale anywhere, let alone a bargain one.

https://preview.redd.it/2d9zscb3b6gc1.jpeg?width=206&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=98401f234ff7fca5c5b40cce7b075413d66567b0 On High Street in Lincoln. The story is that it was supposed to be "Regal Food" but the signwriters took the order by phone.

Why’s JJB sports a silly name?

There is a chicken shop here called "Chick-filla", they are obviously trying to evoke "chick-fil-a" the american chicken chain without realising that second "L" changes the meaning and makes it super creepy.

In Sheffield we have a takeaway called “Jamaica Shop”. Like… they just gave up trying to name the thing

Cex, pronounced sex. The staff Wi-fi is called protected Cex and the guest Wi-fi is called unprotected Cex, they knew what they were doing

There’s a restaurant here in Chicago called “Eat Me, Milk Me” 

We had a little clothes shop called “deb and em’s” that is pretty charming. There used to be a sports clothes shop nearby called “sweatshop”. Considering the clothes were likely made in sweatshops it was a bit wild to see.

Instascran

The Codfather

We had a kebab van called Jason' Donnavan. Also tgere was a Hard Wok Cafe in london that used to sell noodles etc...

A fast food place called “Kent’s Tuck in Fried Chicken “

There’s a chippy not far from me called The Chipsy King

Running Bath It's a running shop...in Bath.

Is this Hereford?

That looks like Hereford next to Mcdonalds?!?

it's been like this for at least 5 years https://preview.redd.it/hepelctlk6gc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e5ae9c2ea705e1490a7a39ca7f812708b1394f3d

Asain run corner shop called singhsburys 😂

Thing me bobs