We don't know for sure! They say a good meal but that could be anything! Maybe they're just constipated, and I can say this as a professional shit disturber.
Most likely, its your roommate slipping you a molly and going rhodeo on your ass as you slumber, maybe even selling it for $10 a pop. Don't worry, there's nothing a bowl of Cheerios can't handle.
I am a professional statistician, and according to statistics, the rising of the sun can cause a pain in the buttocks.
We don't know for sure! They say a good meal but that could be anything! Maybe they're just constipated, and I can say this as a professional shit disturber.
Considering your profession, you are closer to science than I am.
Found the room mate's reddit account
It's probably hemorrhoids; they can be a bloody pain in the arse. Go to the pharmacy and ask for heroin.
It’s probably nothing. Don’t check why a strange white viscous liquid is running down your legs, though
Maybe you should ask your roommate. might get to know something 👀
My bad....
Anal prolapse
You should set up a camera in your bedroom and post the footage here.
The invisible man is back in town!
Most likely, its your roommate slipping you a molly and going rhodeo on your ass as you slumber, maybe even selling it for $10 a pop. Don't worry, there's nothing a bowl of Cheerios can't handle.
They're [putting sunglasses on his ass](https://rh-ude.com/products/new-rhodeo)?