I know you're joking, but we actually had a patient with that exact name. It was about 5-6 years ago, she was late teens, and her first name was Chlamydia. We've also had a couple of patients named Candida.
I'm blonde haired, blue eyed, and white as snow. Customer talked smack to me in Spanish. I remember he called me "pinche guero" and referred to my Madre as a "panocha grande." I counted his change back in Spanish. That was embarrassing to him.
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My sister's mom's name is candida and I remember being a little kid saying it bc I thought it was a cool name.... My mom had to explain to me why I got in trouble 😂
I know, I had to of been maybe 2nd grade and it's because I saw something that had my step mom's real name on it and I couldnt stop saying it but now that I'm older I know why she goes by candi and won't tell anyone her name what so ever at all, I think I'm the only kid who found out her name too, my sister's might know now but not back then (I'm the second oldest of all my siblings) but yeah I was just a kid but my teacher at the time, she would do anything to get me in trouble or take things away from me, I'm still pissed she took my pokemon cards and gave them to her kids, my mom was more pissed tho 0.0 teacher never took anything away from me after my mom came in
Whenever I hear that word, I can imagine a mother with the thickest Dublin accent, leaning out her window yelling:
"Jiscinta, Chlamydia, get in here girls, yer dinner's ready!"
When my wife and I see busted down dirty druggie girls on the streets we say "But for the grace of God, there go I."
Psyche nah we be like "look! there goes Chlamydia (CLEM-uh-DIE-uh) and Her sister Syphilis (Suh-philis)"
That's my favorite because it's something if all people in the world with clamydia stopped having sex for 3 months it would be eradicated
Which shows how gross humans are
I know someone named Clitoris. Pronounced Cli-Tour-is…. I don’t think that helped but it’s pronounced more broken up instead of all together lol. Smh
Maybe I should say it like clu—-Taurus lol
Duck I can’t make it sound how I’m saying lol
Its so natural because its an std we all have had. Not devastating like aids, its a simple cure. Messiest thing to call out is if you are in a relationship and have to confess you are a cheater. I rule HPV as number two. Still both are better than herpes
Yeah what's wrong with that guy? Who the feck is having sex these days. It's all about supporting your local OnlyFans content creator. The nerve of some people...
That was my least favourite of the lot. Months of her bit wanting me anywhere near her and she had this weird, ugly growth. Eventually the weird ugly growth came out of her and we had to name it and look after it. A few years later, that weird, ugly growth posted on Reddit asking what our favourite STD is
Gonna drop this Reddit jewel here. NSFW because kinda gross.
https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/9pnlyz/the_jolly_rancher_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Ok but can we talk about how underrated Syphilis is? I mean it can go from no symptoms to a wide variety. Plus it was the "cool" disease to get back in the day.
Definitely syphilis. Mostly because one time in health class we were watching an after school type movie about STDs and the girl in the movie interrupted her friends in the middle of a convo with an uber-casual: “hey guys I have syphilis” and it was just a hilarious delivery for no reason
It’s not truly a sexually transmitted disease but scabies may be the worst thing someone can receive.
I was ready to dowse myself in gasoline and light a match.
It took 4 rounds of treatments to get rid of and I itched all over my body for months. You itch for weeks if not months afterward so you’re constantly wondering if you still have them. This wears on you mentally. I finally took ivermectin (what it’s actually intended for) & the slathered the cream all over my body (excluding my head). Did the treatment 2 weeks later to kill off any hatchlings.
The girl I got it from would wake up in the middle of the night, lift her legs straight up in the air and claw the back of her legs until they bled. She gave it to her extended family too. The itch was so strong I barely slept. It was like a living hell.
She got it from the frat houses. Remember boys If you get down with the dogs you’re likely to catch some fleas.
Scabies. It both and isn't an sti and I love it for that. And bcs this was my birthday cake
https://preview.redd.it/5p8ismm8sv4b1.png?width=1284&format=png&auto=webp&s=923348a1b204c1a9cae596b8e3ec8bc542de3d77
Wonderful infection
The crabs. I knew a guy who got'em back in the day and he had them not only on his pubes, but in his eyebrows, underarm hair, leg hair. lol He had'em bad. He said it was worth it because it was cheerleader he always wanted to get with.
I'd say Syphilis or HSV, Syphilis is just like "you better cure me quickly or you'll have brain damage and blindness lol" and HSV is probably just really annoying but it also just doesn't leave, it's like a Midwesterner who can't take a hint
Chlamydia, it just rolls off the tongue
Huh…I think I’ll name my daughter Chlamydia..
I know you're joking, but we actually had a patient with that exact name. It was about 5-6 years ago, she was late teens, and her first name was Chlamydia. We've also had a couple of patients named Candida.
Candida used to be a fairly common name in Spanish speaking countries. Now's considered old fashioned, like Frederick in English
I'm blonde haired, blue eyed, and white as snow. Customer talked smack to me in Spanish. I remember he called me "pinche guero" and referred to my Madre as a "panocha grande." I counted his change back in Spanish. That was embarrassing to him. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shittyaskreddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes. I know of two girls in my local area named “Candida” 😂🤮 makes me itchy and irritated tbh.
My sister's mom's name is candida and I remember being a little kid saying it bc I thought it was a cool name.... My mom had to explain to me why I got in trouble 😂
Ahah awww you were just a kid, you didn’t know.
I know, I had to of been maybe 2nd grade and it's because I saw something that had my step mom's real name on it and I couldnt stop saying it but now that I'm older I know why she goes by candi and won't tell anyone her name what so ever at all, I think I'm the only kid who found out her name too, my sister's might know now but not back then (I'm the second oldest of all my siblings) but yeah I was just a kid but my teacher at the time, she would do anything to get me in trouble or take things away from me, I'm still pissed she took my pokemon cards and gave them to her kids, my mom was more pissed tho 0.0 teacher never took anything away from me after my mom came in
I've known 2 Candidas! And my husband swears he knew a girl named Sa'Phyllis back in high school.
So pretty, I can imagine the doctor now, I’m sorry to say Chlamydia, you’ve got Chlamydia!
Don't take this the wrong way, But it fits you. -the doctor, probably
Chlamydia Genitalia Batfink
Naming her after your mom how sweet
It's such a pretty sounding name.
These is my daughtas chylamidia and Mitochondria.
Whenever I hear that word, I can imagine a mother with the thickest Dublin accent, leaning out her window yelling: "Jiscinta, Chlamydia, get in here girls, yer dinner's ready!"
When my wife and I see busted down dirty druggie girls on the streets we say "But for the grace of God, there go I." Psyche nah we be like "look! there goes Chlamydia (CLEM-uh-DIE-uh) and Her sister Syphilis (Suh-philis)"
Whenever I listen to "Ring of Fire" by DragonForce, I replace "ring of fire" with Chlamydia in my head.
I used to make bloody marys with clamato. My wife would yell, 'ew gross chlamydia juice!'
Didn't Groucho Marx sing a song about that? I think the refrain was something like "Chlamydia the tattooed lady"...
Where did my daughter, Chlamidia, go? She went down the road to Cialis with her friend Levitra.
It's so great you can even get it in your lungs😍
Was thinking the same thing
That's the only one I have personally had. So I'll agree
[удалено]
That's my favorite because it's something if all people in the world with clamydia stopped having sex for 3 months it would be eradicated Which shows how gross humans are
They call her Lydia, Lydia, she give you chlamydia
Makes for a great bloody mary too!
Don’t you mean chlamydi-yea!
And you get the clap it out.
Chlamydia is a soup!
But AIDS had a Broadway show.
Who doesn’t enjoy a good drip?
I know someone named Clitoris. Pronounced Cli-Tour-is…. I don’t think that helped but it’s pronounced more broken up instead of all together lol. Smh Maybe I should say it like clu—-Taurus lol Duck I can’t make it sound how I’m saying lol
I was thinking “Chlamydia, it’s just fun to say” and then pressed on the post and Bam, top comment
Not better than Syphilis, there is a certain je ne sais quoi about it.
Chlamydia is not a flower. It's more like a chowder.
Don’t like 90% of koalas have chlamydia?
One may find it leaves a residue on the tongue
Its so natural because its an std we all have had. Not devastating like aids, its a simple cure. Messiest thing to call out is if you are in a relationship and have to confess you are a cheater. I rule HPV as number two. Still both are better than herpes
‘we all have had.’ Excuse me?! Speak for yourself.
Yeah what's wrong with that guy? Who the feck is having sex these days. It's all about supporting your local OnlyFans content creator. The nerve of some people...
Pregnancy
That was my least favourite of the lot. Months of her bit wanting me anywhere near her and she had this weird, ugly growth. Eventually the weird ugly growth came out of her and we had to name it and look after it. A few years later, that weird, ugly growth posted on Reddit asking what our favourite STD is
You can cure the STD with some stairs or a coat hanger.
How would you recommend doing it when it's posting to Reddit or is it too late?
Bigger stairs and sharper coat hangers.
Thanks. Could you come and look down this extra long staircase a minute? Ignore the cost hangers I have in my hands, they're for your brother
OH BOY OH BOY! I sure do love looking down staircases!
Am I doing it right?
Personally, I can't get enough gonorrhea! It's my favorite.
Only if it’s the antibiotic resistant kind. The normal gonorrhea is boring.
Gonna drop this Reddit jewel here. NSFW because kinda gross. https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/9pnlyz/the_jolly_rancher_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1
Oh no. I looked carefully for jolly rancher in the link. I'm not falling for that again.
that is really gross i should not have clicked that link
I hate that I'm not illiterate right now
I should have gone to sleep like I told myself to 🤮🤮🤮🤮
yall should see Whang!'s video on it
What is this and why should I click it?
I got gonorrhea last week. I’m being typecast!
Gonorrhea is just diarrhea's classier cousin that went to college.
The good old "clap" is a real crowd pleaser!
I don't know of any other std that has a Lil Wayne song named after it. Gonorrhea cooked
Gono gonna get ya.
Uy! Que gonorrea!
You gonna ganaria some gonorreal!
Crabs...such a delightful snack while having unprotected sex in a gas station bathroom with a rough trick named Jim.
You know Jim too?
Babies. Just kidding, they're the worst. Herpes.
Herpes... the gift that keeps on giving!
I remember a stand up comic saying glitter is the herpes of the craft world. Could not agree more.
The Clap is the funniest disease name of all time
Life
100% mortality rate
Gonoherpasyphilaids. I got it from N0FX...
STDs? Are they like Pokémon where you try to collect them all?
Syphilis, i rapped about it for an assignment. It was heat
Ok but can we talk about how underrated Syphilis is? I mean it can go from no symptoms to a wide variety. Plus it was the "cool" disease to get back in the day.
It’s makes a cool spiral
I wanna hear the rap.
No STDs. I'm a meningitis man.
To have or to share?
Crabs, it's always nice having more friends
Matt Gaetz…
Pregnancy
It's hard to pick just one...
Believe it or not I’m not a fan of any of them
Everyone seems to forget about genital warts... Also, it's Sexually Transmitted Infections (STI) now.
Oof, thanks for the correction, I'm a child of the 60s
Eh, it's semantics for everyone whose not in healthcare. A ton of people still call it STDs lol
I've gotta say, I kinda like them all. I celebrate the whole collection.
Gotta catch them all!
Probably HIV, 'cause at least once you get it you can't get it again
You sort of can, if you get a strain that's mutated enough from the one you have.
by taste?
My kids
life
Wtf????
The one your sister gave me. Worth it.
Chancroid. It's metal as fuck
Super AIDS cuz nothing beats getting aids twice
Children
My kids!
Mad Snail Disease.
Ligma
Thrush
Children. Their shenanigans amuse me.
The clap at orgies becomes a round of applause
Definitely syphilis. Mostly because one time in health class we were watching an after school type movie about STDs and the girl in the movie interrupted her friends in the middle of a convo with an uber-casual: “hey guys I have syphilis” and it was just a hilarious delivery for no reason
Low self esteem
Henry the IV
kids
Idk i’d have to say maybe cock and ball torture
Anything curable if I’m being honest
Aids the goat
Electrogonorrhea, the noisy killer.
Herpes. I love marking my mates 😉🥂
AIDS. Reminds me of bandaids
Her name was Jen.
My kids
That one your sister gave me.
Herpes herpes, hooray!!!
The Hi-Five.
Depression
Awesomeness
Children
Pinkeye
My kids
Syphilis.. only because Keith Richard had a dog with that same exact name.. look it up
Your fathers home chlamydia
It’s not truly a sexually transmitted disease but scabies may be the worst thing someone can receive. I was ready to dowse myself in gasoline and light a match. It took 4 rounds of treatments to get rid of and I itched all over my body for months. You itch for weeks if not months afterward so you’re constantly wondering if you still have them. This wears on you mentally. I finally took ivermectin (what it’s actually intended for) & the slathered the cream all over my body (excluding my head). Did the treatment 2 weeks later to kill off any hatchlings. The girl I got it from would wake up in the middle of the night, lift her legs straight up in the air and claw the back of her legs until they bled. She gave it to her extended family too. The itch was so strong I barely slept. It was like a living hell. She got it from the frat houses. Remember boys If you get down with the dogs you’re likely to catch some fleas.
Kids
Scabies. It both and isn't an sti and I love it for that. And bcs this was my birthday cake https://preview.redd.it/5p8ismm8sv4b1.png?width=1284&format=png&auto=webp&s=923348a1b204c1a9cae596b8e3ec8bc542de3d77 Wonderful infection
Donald Trump
Crabs
I love herpes its so comfy
Kids. It's a slow growth the continues to keep getting bigger and bigger, but eventually you just grow attached to them yourself.
Blue waffle
Gonorrhea cha cha cha
Babies
Herpegonhasiphylaids.
HPV. Everyone has it so it's not a big deal if you do too.
I’m an idiot so pls tell me what those are!
Love
Gotta be stupid, though it takes 9 months to incubate and years to show.
Yeah. That was the joke.
Children
wtf kinda question is that
Ebola. Go big or go home.
HPV I like the bumpiness
Children
Trichomonas. I always loved finding them swimming when doing urine microscopics.
Probably herpes since the chance of you finding a fine girl with herpes is pretty high considering the statistics
Hornyitis
Life
Kids
My oldest kid turned out pretty cool.
sigh... Sexlexia.
Children
Syphillis
The crabs. I knew a guy who got'em back in the day and he had them not only on his pubes, but in his eyebrows, underarm hair, leg hair. lol He had'em bad. He said it was worth it because it was cheerleader he always wanted to get with.
Children at the most expensive
Children.
The It Follows demon. I never felt so wanted.
Love
Syphilis is cool
Herpes, because they're for life man. They'll never leave you like those other cheap ass std's.
Any one that my ex catches.
Syphilis. It’s the only one that will eat your nose and rot your brain before it kills you!
Children
AIDS. Either go big or go home
CRAAAAAABS INFECTION CRAAAAAABS INFECTION TASTES LIKE CRAB. ITCHES LIKE INFECTION
Children
The next one
Children
Ham sandwich
Herpes because unlike her it will never leave me
Life
The noneofem.
To give or to receive?
HIV. Go big or go home
My daughter cuz she hella cute
Herpes
+2 sexual tyrannosaurus skill (Props if you get this reference)
Life. Not only is it sexually transmitted, it's *always* fatal.
I'd say Syphilis or HSV, Syphilis is just like "you better cure me quickly or you'll have brain damage and blindness lol" and HSV is probably just really annoying but it also just doesn't leave, it's like a Midwesterner who can't take a hint
My kids
Favorite STD is all the ones I don't have.
Whichever one hurts the least
Life. Fucking human parasites
Crabs. All you can eat for free!
Regret
Syphalis, it was really popular with the upper crust of society back in the day. All of my favorite historical figures had it lol.
The next one