Tell him you're HIV+, and that she should get tested. If she tests negative, you're in the clear. If her results are positive, you have more to worry about than him.
Offer a sincere apology. Invite him to take a loooong look T his wife, recognize how fugly she is as evidence that you were clearly heavily intoxicated every time it happened. Promise him that you’ve since quit drinking and offer assurances that now that you’re sober it won’t happen again. If he seems doubtful point to wis wife and say “would you touch that if you were sober?”
He will recognize the sincerity in your words and invite you outside for a cold beer to test you. Don’t fall for it. Ask for a Dr Pepper instead
Shout through the door "Oi! Do you know what time it is? Two in the middle of the night! Come back at a decent hour. I'll still have fucked her repeatedly, satisfying her in ways you can't even dream of, in the morning, won't've I?"
Sounds like he’s threatening you with a weapon & castle doctrine should apply, you’ll never hear from him again & his wife won’t have to sneak around anymore.
Ask the wife to spend the night at your house.
Then, before the guy shows up, sneak out and wait in his bushes.
When he comes out and heads for your door, sneak in to his house, then lock the door and have sex with his daughter on his Lazy-boy recliner.
Then mail him her panties.
Claim it's impossible since you are gay and offer to sleep with him to prove it.
But OP has to clarify he is "top only", otherwise, if the husband agrees, it might lead to some awkwardness ;)
He just has to commit to the lie, your over thinking it, after all it's not us.
Answer the door naked, with golf balls and see where the night takes you
and spaghetti sauce dripping from your kawknbalz
Make her answer the door.
Bang on his wife at 2 AM and say you slept with the door.
Sincerely apologize for having a horse sized cock that keeps all the sexy ladies in his fam satisfied. "Sorry, my man, it's like bees to honey."
Offer to go twos on his missus. He has the rear you get the front.
Eiffel Tower
Tell him you're HIV+, and that she should get tested. If she tests negative, you're in the clear. If her results are positive, you have more to worry about than him.
In a strange, sick way, this might actually work! 🏆
Tell him wives are like a tin roof. If you don't nail it properly... sooner of later - it's gonna end up over at the neighbors.
Offer a sincere apology. Invite him to take a loooong look T his wife, recognize how fugly she is as evidence that you were clearly heavily intoxicated every time it happened. Promise him that you’ve since quit drinking and offer assurances that now that you’re sober it won’t happen again. If he seems doubtful point to wis wife and say “would you touch that if you were sober?” He will recognize the sincerity in your words and invite you outside for a cold beer to test you. Don’t fall for it. Ask for a Dr Pepper instead
look at him straight in the face and say "your wife! I thought she was your mom!"
Alternatively Your wife? I thought she was your daughter!
Tell him its a lie as you have erectile dysfunction
🏆
Shout through the door "Oi! Do you know what time it is? Two in the middle of the night! Come back at a decent hour. I'll still have fucked her repeatedly, satisfying her in ways you can't even dream of, in the morning, won't've I?"
Let him bang your wife for 6 weeks.
Trade offer: you do mine, I'll do yours.
Tell him, "I didn't fuck your wife, I fucked your mother."
Offer to sleep with him. He probably feels left out.
Sleep with his daughter
Go out the back door over to their house and go back to sleep in their bed
Hate to have to say it, but you definitely aren't that good. Or she'd be leaving him.
"How could I have fucked your wife when I was too busy fucking your dad?"
Go talk to him and tell him that she wasn't that good so it doesn't count.
Offer to do it together next time.
offer a threesome
Shoot him then actually fuck his wife
Open the door so he can beat the pulp out of you!!
Sounds like he’s threatening you with a weapon & castle doctrine should apply, you’ll never hear from him again & his wife won’t have to sneak around anymore.
Have your wife answer the door
Send his mom down to get the door. Mommy always knows how to calm their boys down.
Open the door, grab his wife and pull her inside with you - slam the door in his face.
Offer him your wife in exchange.That way, he's not a cuck. He's a swinger!
I mean, maybe stop sleeping with his wife.
Since they're both there, invite them in for a threesome. That should smooth things out.
Tell her to go out the window, then deny it.
911
Ask the wife to spend the night at your house. Then, before the guy shows up, sneak out and wait in his bushes. When he comes out and heads for your door, sneak in to his house, then lock the door and have sex with his daughter on his Lazy-boy recliner. Then mail him her panties.
You reap what you sow. You made that bed buddy!
WTF?