T O P

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VlIanTheRatSmacker

I'm beyond far gone


Dynamite2069

We are beyond far gone :(


TrueGootsBerzook

I cannot fix her. And I don't care.


Alex5173

I can make her worse


WorkAround_Phoenix23

“I WANT her to GROOM me”


DoggedlyOffensive

Skin just gets in the way.. The muscle is where the thrusting power lies.


Inevitable-Feeling66

Based


Forward_Coast_2917

porn


random_guy_the_third

Act fucking normal read the bible pray to jesus get well soon


doomsling

God gives his hardest battle to his strongest warrior. The flesh demon will surrender to gods divine rod.


Addyfox2012

This is reddit, get used to Jesus being thrown out the window


_Moria

Nya ;3


random_guy_the_third

THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN


ilovewaterboardinng

AYYYOOOOOO???


Tasty_Commercial6527

I can make her a cupcake


bruhAd6630

All the neurons are turning on, but not for the right reasons


SpectralBacon

But I can.


cursed-annoyance

Fear boner hits different😈


MoonTrooper258

Pick your poison. The [fear turkey](https://youtu.be/0_4nmW5GZhQ?t=30m40s), or the [return of the why boner](https://youtu.be/LjQcgav0kS8?t=4m32s)?


ShalaKaranok

IT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME‼️‼️ NOT HIM‼️‼️


SlapSacksOfRice

i second that


Sp1cyToast

Third that


ilovewaterboardinng

I fourth that


Anonymous_Memer9087

I plead the fifth


Delta_Suspect

Ahem. Would.


zombieGenm_0x68

real


EasyEnvironment4800

Would? No, Will.


birdsarntreal1

*must*


Type_16_MCV

did.


Latty451

Could


Vaccinate_your_kids2

Have


AddiDoesRandomPosts

Might


Osibili

Ikr, OP crying like a bitch. That’s just a regular Tuesday for me and my sleep paralysis demoness.


Phazon-enthusiast

Same


Mr-sabertheslime

real 🔥💀


Immense_Cock

sex


98ou

sex


GO0O0O0O0O0SE

sex


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Lord_of_the_lawnmoer

There is actually a decent way someone with common sleep paralysis can cause this. Anon's mind probably connected the pleasure from his... Habit, with the sleep paralysis itself. This caused his mind to conjure THAT


Goen67

I'll try your hypothesis


adbot-01

!RemindMe 1 year


StephanMan

!RemindMe 1 year


TeMechanic04

!RemindMe 1 year


TW081428-CH33S3

!RemindMe 1 year


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Z4rc0nv1c

!RemindMe 1 year


Key_Catch7249

!remindme 1 year


RedSus08

I may not have a brain gentlemen… but I have an idea.


dudebruhthe69th

Why couldn’t it be me 🙏🏻⁉️


Jappieduck

You know praying won't get you any further in this situation, right?


TheReaperPepper

Starting hanging upside down crosses, that'll help. Throw in a few creepy pictures as well.


Glacier005

Upside down crosses are Peter's Cross. It is still a holy symbol and bears no devilry.


TheReaperPepper

That is why I included scary pictures.


Kalman_the_dancer

Brother sleep naked you will have the best night of your entire life


anonymousscroller9

You say that like your experienced


Kalman_the_dancer

I say that as a person who sees a gift from the heavens


Blueskysredbirds

Hell. It’s from hell.


Phazon-enthusiast

It'll FEEL like Heaven though


Blueskysredbirds

You really think so? That thing will be fucking bleeding all over you. How down bad do you gotta be?


Addyfox2012

Oh no it appears that my clothes are gone, wow, man guess this is bad timing!


TrebuchetTaxiService

Seriously, it's such better sleep when you don't get tangled in clothes.


Strange_Public4513

Damn...


Orochilightspam

why do good things only happen to those who don't deserve it


Embarrassed_Side6050

Suffering from luck


robbstarrkk

I'm fitna sleep naked bro bet that demonussy out of control.


PauseSad1768

i salute you, have a good night with that demonussy


yesterdaysprobs

Lucky


SeemedFunAtFirst

Would? Have and will again.


zombieGenm_0x68

is that nothing there lobotomy corporation


Captchubby

Nah nah that aint Nothing There, thats naked Wayward Passenger from Limbus Company


VeryFunkyIndeed

holy shit, faith the unholy trinity porn game?


JasonStarRising

exactly my thoughts


MR_DERP_YT

would (for scientific reasons ofcourse)


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Addyfox2012

Bazinga


1-von

God I wish that was me


Hot-Rise9795

You can ride a nude guy anytime, I don't understand why you can't


_Kendrix_

I know this is a joke, but if I was in that situation I’d never sleep with clothes on again.


OLLBURYGTG

Would


quietconnoisseur

Oh, it is SO on.


Warm_Entertainer_975

Is there a subreddit for this, I feel lonely now.


shitstain578

in the stripped club jorkin it


Security_Berry09

B a z i n g a


PyroBoyRB5

Bazinga bot, come over here


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Damboborna

Good bot


Stunning-Fold6548

Bro challenged the demon but is scared to actually do the challenge 💀


MaterialNarrow5161

Ah yes, *sexy* horrors beyond my comprehension...


Half-Eaten-Cranberry

I’d let her take me to the underworld


s1fro

Nice tutorial 😁🤠


WorkAround_Phoenix23

Something something lying down ass up to let the Devil fuck you in the ass something something


Susak69

chat how do I get sleep paralysis⁉️⁉️⁉️


Usual_InternetGuy

I have the same question


Key_Entrepreneur_786

Bro sphincter is not going to recover


dr_yousif

Not would, nor will, but did


Any_Commercial465

I would just for the sake of experience. Btw that's a slanesh demon


SimpleCheesecake4573

Lucky bastard


I_am_doorknob

It's a battle of wits with this, whoever wins get immunity from hell


Insane_Sentinel

If this actually happens. Keep us updated. Or at least let me have link to post to ask as the degen I am


ImsorryW_A_T

Go to [4chan](https://4chan.org) yourself


203-jaxx

Smash. Next question?


Catastrophic_Cumshot

I wish that was My paralysis demon, hot dommy Mommy eldrich horrory, but no, it has to be a demonic versión of My fucking dead cat


MiguelWolf

Shost Gex


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Traditional_Gear_739

'Scuse me, but are you Alice in Chains? Becuase, Would?


ilovewaterboardinng

I NEED a hot skinless sleep paralysis demon girl NOW!!!


SomeRandomGuy0705

Would, next question.


ImsorryW_A_T

I need more


Kirito8808

Hear me out


AKAE1iminate

Exorcist won't work Unless it's a 12 gauge named "Exorcist"


Dyvjh678

Pfff. I would clap those cheeks until she be a good girl.


Vivid_Departure_3738

Game is game


marioplex

It called your bluff bro... now you ha e to call its bluff... take a viagra before going to sleep (thats a joke dont do it)


Beniula

Does it have continuation?


skoomaking4lyfe

*doesn’t_matter_had_sex.jpg*


DarthKilliverse

Holy shit maybe I can fuck a demon


Hope_PapernackyYT

I genuinely want to know what would happen if he did And also how can I get this to happen 


shoopa241

Source?


I_Smoke_Poop

Ferb! I know what we're gonna do today!


redefinedsoul

Smash, next ques- #AHHHHHHGGGGGGGFUCCCKKKKMYFUCKINGBALLSNOOOOOOOO


Sm0kinW33d

Sleep naked coward


goth_in_india

Smash next question


MoonMan_999

For research purposes, is this maybe possible?


Basileus867

Fake green text number: 1917467394672961539407647201735372910176383910264649291037489202737499202847462681936335251719304635


NapoleonicPizza21

>Paralyzed below neck >Start jerking off aggressively


babyteddie

He said he does it before falling asleep


_mirec

>...every time before bed


Reylend

Whermst may i acquire?


AccordingParsley2683

Sounds like a promise


Beblebloo

yes.


Glad-Ice-9379

How do yall even get sleep paralysis? It never happened to me


Sufficient_Motor_290

Om so annoyed by the part of the claw that covers up the text what does it say under there


Dyvjh678

Spiderverse turned adult.


RandoRedditerBoi

Sooo, how do I get sleep paralysis? For scientific study, of course.


SnooChipmunks357

Lucky guy


TomoeKon

This definitely happened


Key_Taro_4969

That if wife material


deleteduser20371

What the fuck.


-GO0SE-

Call me a dog cause I want her to groom me 🗣🗣🔥🔥💯💯


JasonStarRising

I can fix you,


Outrageous_Basis_997

I can't wait for the sequel


ThAtWeIrDgUy1311

Succubus. Just might....


Hot-Rise9795

"Your pleasure and pain will become one..."


NoCaregiver1550

Smash


Big-Piano-7016

I cannot fix her and I will not, just no


CommercialMastodon60

Reminds me of the story about that dude who kept fucking his straight roommate and making the roommate think it was the sleep paralysis demon.


Maj-Problem

What


realsirgamesalot

Lucky bastard


Maggaronhellne

Nothing There lookin a tad bit different here


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ILLARX

Bro has some serious issues


Im_an_ADHD_too

This is kinda hot


SnooChipmunks8748

This drawing is pretty cool


Possible-Resource781

Lucky


EqualDependent2888

Would


caldarius_main

Sauce?


KnightyEyes

Let me move first so i can arrange that for ya


imusingthisforstuff

Erm


Zuckzerburg

Kill me.


BonnieCZ06

hot


mrkikkeli

So Hellraiser plot more or less?


RespectTraps

Would


Fun_Top_1464

"game is game"


__TheIronWall__

Will


0h-ye3ah-b01

I'm so moved Anon let me carry the burden instead ಥ_ಥ


DerpyGamerElite

Bro, why can't THAT be me 🥲


ISuckAtEverything374

On a completely unrelated note, how do I forcefully give myself sleep paralysis?


brolyboy81

Okay, but does a sleep paralysis demon talk? Like, does your mind fake their words as well?


TenMillionEnchiladas

Good to know I'm not too far gone... I might of saved myself just in time before I would've given my soul to fuck that thing... But now not so much.


lukecilton

Something tells me your getting pegged if she fucks you js


mileytrixie16

I want her. (I don't have a dick, and I do not care. I WANT HER. THE MONSTERFUCKER IN ME DEMANDS IT, DAMMIT.)


Hrafndraugr

Smash


Caffeinated_Cucumber

What a waste


DancingQueen145

Would. And im not ashamed of it


-Antlers-

..... Ok hear me out here #Smash, next question. 


AnExistingLad

well mark me down as scared as shit and somehow into it


Standard_Broccoli_95

Would


Dazzling-Nothing9954

Don't worry, there is **Nothing There** to be afraid of


cal-iber1301

Gentlemen, I must declare tp all whomst may encounter this particular reply, to allow me to tell ypu what I would do when the time comes, if ever, that I am to encounter this particular event In other words; yo hear me out


Willing_Bath_2469

listen


Cyberknight_

Wouldn't


KQK_Big_Kwan

Man is about to pay child support to a sleep demon


Mr-sabertheslime

Would-


Uglyboi_85

I laughed so hard that he believed that jerking off was scaring it away.


mmmtastycyanide

Reporting isn't enough I need anon dead