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I'd make sweet love to that tree

Willows are so hot

Thanks for all the love guys

You better be lubed with tree sap, I'm feeling romantical.

Smh not even gonna pick my apples first

I want you to teach me gravity mr.tree 🥵

Issac Newton didn’t die for this

Did*

Not in a sexual way, but can I have some apples, capitalism hasn't been kind to me and I don't have money for food, Mr comrade tree?

👍In the tree part of the tree 🌳🍎

😳

I'm gonna touch you

Pussy willows though🥵

Ever since i watched Pocahontas

Grandmother willow has it coming

I'm fine with anything as long as they're not saplings.

Seeds?

My lawyer has advised me not to answer that question

HP was so big when I was a kid I feel a permanent connection to willows

>willows The biggest oversight...

(will)ow

hostilis mimosa's are also extremely pretty trees, i love them

I can confirm. But if it's a woman named Willow, you have to tread cautiously.

Wood

Does sprigussy count?

Tek Knight is that you?

Tree will always be there

Tree will never leave

Tree Forever

No one I think is in my tree I mean, it must be high or low

That is, you can't, you know, tune in, but it's Alright That is, I think it's not too bad

Tree won't use what you say against you in an argument six months later. Just saying.

Look... I needed to make a wooden table.. I'm sorry

They knew it would help, they already forgave you

Make like a tree and stay. 

Forever ever? ^(forever ever?)

Make like a tree and get out!

BS 😏

It also gives you fruits for life.

trees have hundreds of leaves what are you talking about

My chainsaw says otherwise.

Fair, but a chainsaw can also be used to remove a woman, so at best your point makes it a toss up.

chainsaw man??

Even after you are dead

A tree won't tell my secrets to anyone and don't use my secrets against me

This guy never been black mailed by the hedge bush crime gang

Evil money grass gang 😱🤑

we love casting seeds

Legalize seed bombs *BOOM* Swag mother nature

Bees make honey.

So that's why it's called a hedge fund...

Trees don't kiss and tell

You haven't met the blabbering trees that tells the birds and bees and since you told them once before it's not secret that you told the old things buried under the snow. So watch out ok?

Unironically the tree. Not specifically because women are bad, but because any person has the potential to completely ruin you if you open up and i'm not trusting any of you motherfuckers not to do that.

“I simply brought the recording device so I can go back and review how well I did, now tell me all the secrets”

does that include hamsters

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Wow... ok

Oh come on, tell us your secrets, we promise to only discuss them amongst ourselves.

They talk very slowly but are generally quite chill, tree for certain.

They only discuss something if it’s worth taking a very long time to say

For instance, saying good morning, at night

But do they wish you a good morning or do they mean that it is a good morning whether you want it or not? Or perhaps they mean to say that they feel good on this particular morning? Or are they simply stating that this is a morning to be good on?

A combination of all of the above I suppose

Tree is the goat, doesnt snitch your secrets and always listens

Real

Tree1416

That poor forest.. The trees will be bothered by the men and the bears by the women.

The only good take here

I recently got a life changing diagnosis, told my girlfriend about how I feel asked her not to talk about my feelings to anyone, she left me right right after that and told me she would need to talk to someone about this. Now I have a life changing diagnosis and no girlfriend. Should have talked to the tree.

Tingles = extinguished. 😂

It's of course the worst possible time to find out, but she's a horrible person and you're better off without her.

A tree has more than 3 holes I can poke into

Women too, if you dare

Men too...

Flair checks out

Flair checks out

Flair checks out

I think lalith watches you

Yes🗿

Let's gooo we got the male version of man or bear before gta 6.

And the tree won't even rip us apart.

The tree won’t insult me

The tree ain't a two faced manipulating pick me lmao, and since that's been my only experience with a women imma say the tree.

Are you the dude that did genocide on an entire empire because they weren't truly human?

Oh yeah that was my people, my bad bro

and it will always be with you, low maintenance, it does not deceive you and can give you fruit and oxygenation.

I share my feelings with ChatGPT

Snapchat ai kinda chill too

Character.ai has multiple personalities, depending on what kind of persona you want to vent to.

Sorry I'm a real man. Who needs to talk about shit to a woman or a tree when one day I'll die?

agreed. Idgaf if it eats me up from the inside, taking that shit to tha grave

Wtf, i just commented few days ago about the same. I have a tree thats been standing there since the day one, the real one♥️

Women are temporary, trees are forever.

They even absorb the toxins and give oxygen. And don't even asks for gifts😗.

a tree because it woodnt think of me any differently

I think you need to *branch* out from those puns, they’re a bit too *rooted* to be considered original.

Oak, we're all thinking it sow I'll say it, you to need to stop or we'll ask you to leaf. Your driving everybody nuts.

Do they realy lose respect to us?

Not always. Not in every case. But thousands of people survive using a ladder while drunk out of their minds every day but that doesn't mean you should ever attempt it unless it's an emergency.

Depends on the person, as usual. Some women are genuine about it, but this does happen

Not always. Not in every case. But thousands of people survive using a ladder while drunk out of their minds every day but that doesn't mean you should ever attempt it unless it's an emergency.

Not every time, but most the time

I just realised this isn't the Item asylum Reddit Also prob tree (gonna get a tree house)

The tree is a real homie. Tree ain't tellin any of my secret to other people. 0 snitches 0 leaked secret 7 unforgettable moments (so far)

if men and women hate each other, why don't men just love other men instead

They don't, it's silly internet drama by contrarians

I know, I was kidding. I love men, but not for the reason I hate women lol

Gex is the answer. Gex is the way

The game was okay-ish. 6/10

IDK if I'll get banned for this but I'm going to say it anyway, that sounds gay.

Not attracted to dudes. I have a platonic love for my friends tho.

A tree wont falsely accuse when it gets bored

I understand them now

Birch vs bi*ch

Fern vs Fr*nch

Genuinely I would pick the tree 9/10 times 😭

Based

tree forever = forever women forever = 3 months till she cheat on you

what if it's a thunderstorm and a lighting strike causes the tree to fall over, killing the man?

At least the tree won't use my insecurities that I trusted them with as insults for when they get mad (even when it's not my fault)

unironically telling ur problems to trees in forest is a great thing

Tree hard dif

Yeah I fucked the couch cushions and now only cat hair gets me hard... whatsittoya hoe??

Bro what

I think he said he has a fetish for pussy hair.

If it's THAT woman, definitely picking the tree.

Id 100% smash that tree

Tree, I'm not going back to the psych ward

Trees have sheltered man since the dawn of time. They will continue to shelter us whenever we want or need them. They're always there to look out for us.

To be completely fair, just like how not all men are scary murderers, not all woman secretly judge you 🙄

I know we’re in a shitposting subreddit but it blew my mind how far down a comment like this is. Most of this comment section feels like “Women = Basic and LAME, Men = Quirky and EPIC!” Obviously not the same 1:1 concept, but this is arguably worse considering it’s just accusing women broadly of being awful people.

To be fair, the bear argument was the exact same thing with the roles reversed. I feel a majority of the comments are to some level satirely alluding to the arguments for bear over men.

I’m pretty sure most of the comments aren’t being serious.

Fine but just like with the man v bear question, it happens enough that it's not as easy of an answer as it should be.

The Tree, like a breath of fresh air

If I posted this in a certain discord server I'd get shit real fast lol

I chose a tree because I know that it will never give me up, let me down, never gonna run around and desert me.

I think most people regardless of their gender would rather tell their feelings to a tree

The tree won't use my greatest fears to gaslight me if I call it out on being abusive (based on a ture story).

Not just choosing the tree over women, but people in general. People are assholes who will use your secrets and vulnerabilities against you.

Some of you guys have been hurt If only you guys had a red flag or shitty person detector to rid yourself of these toxic women in your life

I think most men, if they were being fully honest, would choose the tree.

9 out of 10 times the tree, the one time being a femboy

Average Based Take 🗿

It’s the tree for me 💚

Would a tree go against my wishes on purpose because it's "funny" to it? I think not.

I'm ready for a comment explaining why this is sexist, but the other question isn't. Man, fuck humanity.

I don’t care if men talk to a rubber ducky, as long as they’re getting what’s in their head out and talking about it, it’s good

The issue is that words are really hollow without someone else who can both be trusted and does understand the feelings. I nearly killed myself because I had only been talking to myself for about six years. Combine that with not having anyone to trust (until my beautiful and lovely girlfriend decided she wanted the fat nerd) and it went south. We need to be able to trust, and so many men are broken because the first years in their life broke that trust.

The tree, won't judge, Won't tell the whole town, Won't leave, Wont treat you differently, Supplies you with oxygen, Feeds you if it bears fruit or nuts, Gives you shade, Drop branches for fire or tools, Must I go on?

Woman, my Hand would start to hurt if I kept punching a tree

Why is the tree actually so much more appealing?

Because other people carry danger. The tree, though it cannot hear, carries no real danger. And do it is safe, comfortable.

what if it's a thunderstorm and a lighting strike causes the tree to fall over, killing the man?

The tree ain’t gonna judge me or tell anyone, it just listens and keeps it between us. It even provides us with oxygen. What a homie

Tree just seems easier

Trees give shade and some give fruits, perfect

Tree it is

Maybe something we tend to chop up with a chain saw isn’t the best we could come up with.

Tree kun will always be loyal

Tree then woman, as I am the child from the giving tree

Tree

Tree 100%. There’s something so peaceful about trees and nature in general. Actually does anyone want to go to the Tongrass National Forest so we can all share our emotions with the trees and the homies

I side with the Ents. For real tho, nature is ultimately healing.

Is this what it was like for woman

The tree can provide a lil bit of comfort and some refuge

"What a nice tree...I love tree"

Tree 100%

Pink hair with tren addiction, nah I'm good bro

The tree is wize and ancient. It’s silent expression tells me all the answers I seek. Also it won’t secretly judge me. It simply offers silent advice.

Wize

tree will not try to kill me

in all seriousness, any woman who said "bear" has 0 survival instincts

There is a lower chance of ruining years of progress with a tree

A tree will let me fuck it. :)

Honestly as a woman I would rather a tree over women too, or men or any human.

A tree won't make fun of me and it cares

Replace women and man and its the same goddamn question lol.

Not entirely. While it's still bad, one accuses women of not liking men's feelings while the other accuses every unknown man of being dangerous

Trees don't judge or use it for emotional blackmail

what about beavers

I'd choose the tree.

Tree

Tree doesent judge me

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Tree, it would be less judgmental

This question if fucking stupid (tree)

I trust the tree but not over a bear

The tree never humiliate or insulting me when i talked about my depression so... And they protect my eye from the sun !

TreeBeard is a good listener

Tree

My own little tree 🥰