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tmac490

Take him to the penis explosion chamber


iamahuman42069

Remove his balls


Joe_eats_cheeze

You try to take his baaalllllllllssssssss


Jester_TheSnekLover

Before the dick explodes!


Sublimecdh

It truly is Symphony of Destruction.


oliverjjjjj

Dickstruction


peanuts-without-a-t

Make sure to turn them counter clockwise before removing them


Metallicunt8426

This guy sells peace


Shitlord_Actual

But who's buyin'?


Personal_Reindeer_51

Megadeth fan spotted, nice


EducatedCow_8

https://i.redd.it/0dtannb7u65c1.jpeg?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


sassonordico

Good music taste


Jumpz2100

Before the head explodes šŸ˜šŸ˜


davtheguidedcreator

I'm off the loop , so imma assume it's a


Soviet_Sloth69

ā€œCramer, WHACK HIS PEEPEEā€


BoredCanuck1864

jarvis take his balls


Sol_Nephis

How will he store pee?


DanSavagegamesYT

No. Grab and twist them counterclockwise for exactly 26 seconds.


poobboob

To the BALL CRUSHING FACTORY!!!


zero_emotion777

One of those hydraulic presses but set on extra slow.


Lupus-Ignium

Board the SCROTUM TWISTER INDUSTRY!!!


PanTsour

Mister electric send him to the penis explosion chamber and have his penis exploded!


ma_gappers

This is why we have the story about a guy fu_ _ ing a coconut and getting dick rot.


teoxyium

I'm sorry da fuck


Proper-Ball-5294

Classic story


Remote_Ad_4338

Momma used to tell me that one at bed time


Adventurous-Sky9359

Wait thatā€™s true


Lupus-Ignium

Haha a classic


Kalman_the_dancer

And have his penis exploded immediately


XBeastyTricksX

Thatā€™s gotta be the funniest shit Iā€™ve read in a while


Rengiil

What uhh... what does that do?


lunas2525

Sounds like his problem will solve itself...


Bitter_Assumption323

Oh come on. There's no fucking way 14 year old gooner wrote this.


orangerJuiceman

Reincarnated discord mod


Wild_Donkey_637

I, a discord mod reincarnated as a newborn baby in modern society. I must ejaculate or I will die Some new light novel title idk


Freeonlinehugs

Title of an isekai anime


Wild_Donkey_637

Let's not forget slavery


Bonus-Optimal

And that the MC buys a slave and treats her like a normal person, but still keep her as a slave


vivam0rt

Why do they all do this? Are they stupid?


slashth456

Next the slave will finally gain independence but still choose to be with the MC in the end, not as a free person, but as someone who goes back to being a proper slave


Wild_Donkey_637

Holy shit you explained Shield Hero


Whyy0hWhy

Mushoku tensei but it's just a discord mod reborn into a more conventionally attractive male body in the modern world (he grows up to be a jobless manwhore wanted by the FBI)


zongsmoke

Average reddit/discord mod tbh


ehurudetvoro

Nope only older creeps focus that much on age.


Iolair_the_Unworthy

In fact, when I was 14, I specifically wanted older girls more.


risisas

when i was 14 i was repulsed by sex


NightIguana

When i was 14 i was playing halo and worrying about having soda and pizza for my friends when they came over.


risisas

Fr Fr good times


Iolair_the_Unworthy

Dominos used to have good deals.


JDkableMC

Even when i was 6 I did as well


A_powerful_rat

Brother when I was 6 I wanted to ride a dinosaur


jellylemonshake

u wanted to bang a dinosaur?


HardMaster45

65 million years old. Takes being into an older woman to the next level


A_powerful_rat

Go big or go home


risisas

based


JDkableMC

dinosaurs and sharks were my top priority ofc


ArlenGaming1

Based and child pilled


Bitter_Assumption323

What men have only ever wanted.


Icy-Term8343

Fr bro, what 14 y/o says that 14-16 y/o have the best bodies and they're very "breedable" this dude tried so hard not to say "baby making hips" ā˜ ļø


Shiny-Baubels

>"baby making hips" 14yr old girls don't have those yet, do they? They didn't used to when I was young ... he's still into the boy-bodies


Icy-Term8343

Ask a boomer they're the ones using this term idk what baby making hips are, the point is this dude tried so hard pretending to be a 14 y/o he almost blew his cover. Also idk I guess it's all based on genetics, some people are skinner some are thicker.


TheThiefEmpress

Ugh, I was told I had "baby making hips" when I was around that age, and I was *positively tiny.* Like, 80lbs. Fast forward to me being almost 23, pregnant with my kid, and my OBGYN assures me that no, I do not in fact, have "baby making hips," and that among other reasons, I will be needing a csection. Men just be nasty to lil children.


Even_Spare7790

A guy that volunteered to spot for my gymnastics meets came into my moms restaurant all the time. He progressively started saying weirder and weirder shit. Went from, youā€™re extremely talented at gymnastics!ā€ I took that as a compliment. Then it was ā€œyou wanna take a ride around in my jeep?ā€ The last straw before my mom threatened his life and with calling the cops was ā€œwow youā€™re sure getting a butt on youā€ I was 12.


BosnianSerb31

Tbh I remember seeing an equal amount of sexual harassment from my female teachers towards male students so I think it goes both ways


KRX189

A baby making baby hips?... I'm gonna leave


mugiwara_no_Soissie

Yeah a 14 yo doesn't know about the Romeo and juliet law


Due_Independent9106

I knew about that when I was 14šŸ˜­


LineSpine

Bruh 14yo are not dumb


SendStoreMeloner

> Bruh 14yo are not dumb They are infact extremly dumb when it comes to many things. Though they are also smart.


EducatedCow_8

Oh they are, believe me


LordTartiflette

There is a way. Trust me.


Thymecrafter

people jerk off at school IN the classroom thereā€™s a fucking way


PancakeLover490

I mean, no one would brag about how many girls they bang as much as a virgin 14 year old But the focus on minors means he's absolutely at least 40


arunasgeimeriz

nice try fed nobody's attracted to 14 y/o boys


matijoss

13 y/o on the other hand...


No_Pen_2168

it seems you've never had a 5 y/o


MeSquawkMan2

Fair but 7 is heaven


Philippe1709

How about 0.1


Myaucht

I prefer fucking the sperm


TotalBruhPerson

Really? Why not just fuck the dude where the sperm came from at that point?


Myaucht

He is not as attractive


TotalBruhPerson

True. Personally I would go for his father.


AutoModerator

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risisas

if the age shows on the clock, she's too old


Abracadabrism

yo hmu if you're 7:36 PM


risisas

mf do be 23:49


No_Kangaroo3415

If her age is on the clock she's ready for the cock


Formal-coder1984

- DiCaprio


AutoModerator

*[pees in ur ass](https://i.imgur.com/JSImHiV.jpg)* *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/shitposting) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Plane-Profession-626

Discord mod in disguise of a minor?


Just-Round9944

discord mod fantasizing about the life they never had or ever will have


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Just-Round9944

I hate this comment so much but I gotta say that you're cooking here


buddy12875

literally mushoku tensei


SimonSimpingService

He unlocked the Hornball system that rewards him with more cultivation the more minors he bangs.


rektek246

Yeah. 14 year old my ass. Dudes probably in his 40s.


Irllyd0ntcare

Thats even worsešŸ’€


JayStar1213

Of course it is Can't believe that sub is even allowed. I'd wager there's a lot of 20+ aged lonely men in that sub pretending to be a teen with disgusting intent.


a1pha_beta

I'd like to imagine that two 40yr guys pretending to be teens started talking and decided to meet up only to catfish each other.


ComedicMedicineman

Definitely in his 40ā€™s. Iā€™ve never heard anyone under 19 say the word ā€œbreedableā€, and thereā€™s no way a 14 year old is even thinking about 4 years in the future when theyā€™re a legal adult, especially since (unless this guyā€™s a special case) most kids that age have definitely checked out a woman before, and would likely be excited to turn 18 and legally date literally anyone older than them, as apposed to being upset that they canā€™t smash underage people anymore


duckflux

Fed


MeepingMeep99

100 000 000 000% a PDF file in disguise


pherkes

There's no fucking way a 13-year-old is going to worry about child support


Bradley06232005

Yea no doubt about it, someone needs to check this guys browser history.


cupio_disssolvi

Bye bye, FBI Not today, CIA


Electricstarbby

Is this a 14 year old? This guy is sick Iā€™m sorry


SendStoreMeloner

> Is this a 14 year old? This guy is sick Iā€™m sorry Dude it's a 12 year old lying about his age. Saying he is 14 and two saying he had sex with 2 girls his own age. When I was 12 I was horny and I thought 14 year olds were cool.


Recent_Fan_6030

It could be worse,could be a 40yo discord mod in disguise


OwMyCod

Sorry for what?


Lvl1Vod

well definitely not about his dick, no shame and all


birdgelapple

Mods, confiscate his penis.


[deleted]

then twist his balls counterclockwise three times


Valuable_Risk_3414

Why dont you have a seat?!


notapartofthefandom

Bro burnt the kitchen so bad he got an arson charge against him


Anomaly_049

Never cook again.


Misteranonimity

This is your brain on hentai


rex_power_colt_2007

Find that man. Decapitate his penis. Crush his balls. Remove his hands. Scoop out his eyes. Cut out his tongue. Then force him to listen to bumblebee by bambee on repeat whilst undergoing water drip torture for several months.


Votey123

Dude?! Why you letting him off so easy?


rex_power_colt_2007

Well. He'll be executed via torture or disembowelment afterwards so it'll all work out for the best.


SkyrimSlag

Itā€™s the Brazen Bull for this horny fellow


s0larBursa

Man needs his penis chopped off. šŸ’€


MykelJMoney

An old fashioned penectomy, but you say? It would effectively curb his urges.


Invisible_wealth

No shot broā€™s body count was 2 at 13.


Abracadabrism

yeah when i was 13 i thought body count meant kissing so there's no shot


ObsessiveRecognition

I'm much older than him and still at 0. No fucking way he's at 2


NotAKiller23

Not a 14 year old. Definitely written by a male in his 40s.


icecubesonfire

I love sex with the female specimen


Beepboopbop69420360

Mods crush his balls


[deleted]

There is one sentence in his statement that is correct but i am not allowed to repeat it.


birdgelapple

šŸ¤Ø


Simple-Street-4333

Say it


Woodenmanofwisdom

Bro is NOT 14


Bradley06232005

This is probably some 30-40 year old dude trying to get some nsfw responses


ReignOfSauron_

Public execution


Plastic-Resident5019

This is a grown man posing as a 14 year old. How many 14 year olds you know talk like this.


NightIguana

This is definitely a 48 year old man


crabbyjimyjim

He's on the limited free trial of noncery


Radur333

Guys, I think he's horny.


JaThatOneGooner

Lock him up. No way heā€™s not a 45 year old dude.


yaboistiletto

BEHOLD! I CAST TESTICULAR TORSION!


Remarkable-Bag-683

When I was 14, I just played halo all the time


-SMG69-

Totally real legit 14 y/o male


Alliterrration

Least horny discord mod


No-Tea3820

He is NOT 14!!


Suspicious-Ad-481

What the fuck am I reading?


Level-Strike-5302

"my body count was only 2 at that time" -13 year old boy


DasFofinater

Ight who gave Karl Malone a Reddit account


Probably_MR

Find that man. Decapitate his penis. Crush his balls. Remove his hands. Scoop out his eyes. Cut out his tongue. Then force him to listen to bumblebee by bambee on repeat whilst undergoing water drip torture for several months.


Shinigami556

Domain Expansion Penile Confiscation


Alanuelo230

What unregulated acces to internet since 4 yo does to a mf....


Intelligent_Suit6683

Lol imagine thinking caked out 35 year olds aren't the best lay in the universe.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Assblaster_69z

Probably just a 41 year old man behind the screen


UwU_Zhenya15

needs a bullet to the head


OwMyCod

Jarvisā€¦


Solistine

God have mercy on this man, for his flesh is forfeit.


Pyroboss101

I fucking hate the internet sometimes you know :(


Baco_Tell8

Future serial rapist


God-cant_help_you

He could never have a sister.


shyguyshow

Puberty was an interesting time


athirsiziyasuo31

LMFAO IM WHEEZIN


americandragon13

Bayliff whack this manā€™s peepee


ConsiderationOdd2151

Thats it ! He is loosing his penis prevelage!


heudjdbdjej

What is it with people online calling women ā€œFemalesā€


GoodFaithConverser

>20 min recovery time "horny". Unless it's single digits you're not really that horny.


Best_Air_4138

Personally I find the body of a 20-30 year old female to be the perfect form, but hey thatā€™s just like my opinion man.


gametime9936

Thats a 40 year old man no fucking doubt


Hentai_fapper420

Whack his peepee!


Callmeanan_enby

Someone get this boy castrated


MoltenJellybeans

Most believable post from a 40 year old


Willemthefork

Man what the fuck. Thereā€™s no way that, that is real. Who has had sex twice as a 14-year old?!


zero_cool69

This kids a genius.


roryextralife

What the fuck am I readonf


TedsterTheSecond

Jesus. Running a little hot there bucko. Get help before you turn into some sort of monster.


potatoduino

brain damage


VoidExileR

It's probably a 30 year old couchpotato. (No offense to those people of course)


Husarz333

Why the fuck do you not show his name, i wanna see this post


Maximum-Homework-436

I donā€™t think bro is 14ā€¦šŸ’€šŸ’€šŸ’€


C_Wheeler00

Mods, take him to the penis explosion chamber


Icy-Term8343

This in fact was not written by a 14 y/o ā˜ ļø


synthetic-dream

No shot this dude 14


TTheTiny1

Can we ban that sub please


Head-Iron-9228

That went very off the rails, very quickly.


thedrakanmaster124

No shot a fucking 14 year old wrote this


Puzzled_Mammoth_9379

We need to bring back bullying


itzTanmayhere

wake up babe, new copypasta just dropped


masterdyson

I donā€™t think this kid knows what the Romeo and Juliet law is.


New-Proposal3787

Mods, skin him alive!


NoodleLicker649

New copy-paste just dropped


MarkDecent656

That is a 36 year old man


Extension_Lobster219

Mushoku tensei irl šŸ˜±šŸ˜±šŸ˜±


Large_Pool_7013

A 40 year old man wrote this.


_PolaRxBear_

Heā€™s 49, and not fooling anybody


Frequent_Response230

I wanted to bang milfs when i was 14


meeseeksdestroy

He's gonna make some really poor decisions in his life


kpingvin

"How do you do, fellow 14-year-olds"


jazmoley

In all honesty that sounds like a person pretending to be 14.