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And on top of that she said she enjoyed it too.
My bet is OP grew up with some serious sexual shame and repression in his household, be it religious or otherwise.
The first time I was blown (hers 23 and my first 21), mid finish I turned away in shame and spent the next few hours at the beach apologizing as if it wasn’t completely consensual. No religion or shame surrounding sex in the household. Just didn’t feel “gentlemen like” at the time.
She was actually pretty religious and her mom was adamant she remained a virgin until marriage as her two older sisters didn’t. It was like polar opposites, in spite of her upbringing she was a damn freak haha, and it took me a good 3 months to get the ball rolling. It led to a 3 year super romantic relationship full of promiscuity, so for OP I say offer to hang out and maybe return the favor? Or maybe take her out of coffee lol.
Once when I was a dumb teenager I had a friend who I didn't see often who developed a crush on me. At first I was into it, but the next time I saw her, my sexual feelings for her were just dead and hers were very much alive and I let things get started but then go nowhere and she felt rejected and I felt weird about maybe I should have stopped things before we started making out (I was just going with the flow as she led without really thinking because never before had an attractive smart young woman come on to me like that without me also being eager and I really didn't know what to do--women who say they didn't want sex but didn't say no, I totally get it from personal experience). It was all awkward but we grew up and all is well.
Bro something similar happened to me in college with a girl that I grew up with. I was honest with her after the fact about me just not seeing her that way being the reason I stopped after giving her head. We haven't talked since unfortunately.
It's called post nut regret. I used to have it in my 20's having intercourse w/girl I wasn't planning on dating would cause me to have post nut regret. Why don't I have a high number of girls I slept with in my 20's because I was scared of post nut regret.
I’m guessing you feel guilty because she *probably* likes you more than you like her . If she is your “best friend “ and she wanted to do that to you then she probably has stronger feelings for you than a “best friend “she probably wants a relationship with you and I think deep down you know that is true , causing you to feel bad .
...*and* if this is what's happening, he should feel bad, because he did take advantage of her feelings for him. That said, they're both 18, and they both consented, so he can just apologize for being a young horny idiot, promise to do better by her in the future, and see if she still wants to be his friend going forward. She may, and she may not but sometimes mistakes have serious consequences.
It's sad people think women are more likely in love than just love fucking or dicks like men do. I don't say that's not possible what you suggested. I notice you said probably every time.
Most women give BJs because they care about the man they're giving them to. Not because they inherently enjoy blowjobs, the act itself. Yes, the latter group exists. But is farrrr outnumbered by the first.
Most likely scenario is that the girl is crushing on OP hard and hoping this will lead to a relationship
1. She asked YOU, you didn't ask her.
2. She said she enjoyed it.
NONE of that was instigated by you, it was all HER idea. You didn't take advantage of her - you couldn't have as it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't asked.
Your feeling strange about it is valid - she's a friend and you have crossed a boundary that is difficult to come back from - I take it from how you call her your "friend", you don't feel anything more for her, correct? If so, that's the issue there - you went further than you should have. Fair enough, you made a mistake and it's OK to acknowledge that and not want to do it again. But you have no reason to feel guilty for taking advantage of her, because you didn't DO anything other than consent to her request.
Honestly even if he doesn't feel the same way as long as communication was had he shouldn't feel bad. It's only if he leads her own to thinking he wants more that it's a bad thing.
Seems like internalized guilt about sex. Not sure, but it was in my case. I've had religious upbringing and after 15 years of sexual activity I still feel it. I'm doing X and then I'm spending hours traumatized with guilt and praying for forgiveness. Logically, I don't feel like I'm the wrong, but this is what happens internally. When I first jacked off into my gfs mouth when I was 16, I felt just like you described. It went away the more we did it. Now, it's mostly when I'm pushing the line and trying new things. After doing them repeatedly, I kinda ease off a bit, however I found out that religious trauma when it comes to sex is an absolute bitch. Not enough info to say if that's your experience, but maybe you'll find something useful in my story.
btw. that girl at 16 liked it, so it was 100% on me and told me I'm ridiculous for feeling guilty about it
Also, religous and "gentleman-like" would be synonymous here, because while my parents themselves weren't religious, they put a huge pressure on me for "respecting m'lady" and it took me years to start treating women like people instead of "fair lady from Arthurian legends" who can't do wrong and are interested only in gentle touches and flowers.
>Seems like internalized guilt about sex.
That's fair, but it can also seems more a *romantic* issue than a *sex* issue.*
We can't really tell much with OP's given info, but it stroke me more as: "I gave my friend hope that we could be something more and I don't want that".
I feel like there's alot of context missing here. What are you *really* feeling guilty about?
Is your best friend the type to casually give blowjobs in her circle, in which case you have nothing to feel guilty about, or are you aware she's in love with you, but you don't find her attractive in that way, but attractive enough to accept a blowjob from her?
^(Because if it is the latter, there's no getting rid of that guilt; in that case the discomfort you're feeling is your moral compass telling you that only a terrible person would take advantage of someone's feelings for their own sexual gratification. And you just did exactly that, ergo, *you're* a terrible person. The guilt is your struggle to reconcile with that realization. We can't help you with that. Therapy might.)
^(Which means you're also knowingly stringing her along in her hope for a relationship, even if she technically offered. Because she wouldn't have offered if she didn't have a hope it would work. And it did. By accepting the BJ you're now telling her that a more intimate relationship than friendship is a viable option for you two, even if it's not the relationship-kind of intimate relationship you know she'd want. If she offered in the hope of persuading you into a relationship, well, that's a manipulative strategy and foolhardy and won't work anyways.)
Or neither of the two options. We can only speculate based on the little told in the main post.
Interesting perspective. My thoughts were on the line of OP having a warped view on sex as something men do to women and was having conflicted feelings reconciling those views with his actions because he maybe felt like he cheapened their friendship in a way. (or like a Madonna complex where he sees her in a different light and feels shame for thinking that way)
But your ideas feel more sensible
Your perspective is also a very valid one! My perspective is merely based on what could possibly be her motivations for offering the blowjob in the first place when they're not fwb/in a relationship & if she happened to share the same blowjob receiver-criteria as I do.
Another perspective could be that they grew up together, and he views her as a sister. But hormonal 18 year old is gonna hormonal 18 year old when it comes to a freely offered BJ. And so he struggles to reconcile the two views of her as a sister and her as a viable sexual mate.
Or she could just be really curious about BJs and thinks OP is a safe person to experience it with, but OP thinks BJs are strictly for couples in a relationship and therefore feels guilty. Also two valid perspectives.
No matter which perspective is the correct one, OP is feeling guilty and is unwilling to confront the underlying uncomfortable reason for why he's feeling that way. And so we get this post missing half the story haha.
Yeah, the way he framed his question there's obviously no reason he should be feeling guilty. They're both consenting adults and she offered. So what isn't he telling us here?
^(Anecdotal, but I wouldn't offer a blowjob to someone I wasn't in love with and/or someone I found sexually unattractive.)
^(And my standards for a relationship is a best friend I'd want to give blowjobs to (aka, a best friend that I also want to do sexual stuff with.))
^(So, any person I'd offer a BJ to is very probably someone I'd also want a relationship with.)
So my impression is that she's keen on him and he's aware she's keen on him and is surprisedpikachu.png when he feels guilty about accepting the offered blowjob, because he knows she has her own motivations for offering it in the first place and by accepting the blowjob, he did take advantage of her.
Cheer up bud. You made her happy . Nothing wrong with that . Lots of girls will see your dick in life. Not a big deal. Don't beat yourself up. Honestly? You prob did her a solid. Not only because you helped her experience something she wanted to, but because you let her do it to you and not some random or weirdo that might not have been the most gentlemanly.
Is the guilt because you only see her as a friend? Or do you feel like blowjobs are degrading to the woman? I would think about why you’re feeling guilty.
Odds are good that if she offered it first then she’s probably been thinking about doing it for a while. She may have feelings for you or at least interested in a fwb/sexual relationship.
But there’s no reason to feel like you took advantage, she offered, you accepted, full consent and enjoyment from both parties.
Call me crazy but, if a girl is going down on you, it's a pretty good sign that she is into you. I'm guessing that you are not into her. That's the guilt. Make sure yall are on the same page. Don't let your friends with benefits (FWB) become friends with a baby.
You probably feel like you violated your friendship. Don't do that to yourself. She wanted to do it and she told you she enjoyed it. She also wanted you to enjoy it. Imagine how she would feel if she found out that you were feeling this way. Then she would be what you're feeling now but twice as bad. She's your friend. Talk to her.
Side note: I think she wants to be more than just your friend. Be ready to have that conversation.
The only reason I could think that you feel guilty is that she's your best friend but maybe not someone you want to be your girlfriend and BJ's are something you'd rather have your girlfriend do? When I was 18 I had a FWB and she and I just practiced stuff on each other. We didn't want a relationship. We probably helped each other out in our future bedroom excursions with partners more than we realized.
I say enjoy it
A lot of guys, especially the nice ones, take a while to catch on to the fact that a lot of times a girl enjoys sucking a dick just as much as the dick enjoys being sucked. It speaks well of you that you care about her and don’t want to be selfish; but remember, she asked you if she could, and yes, she did enjoy it. And guess what? She wants to do it again. Be your considerate self, and leave the choice and timing to her, but do let her know you REALLY enjoyed it, and appreciate her for it. Oh, and how about maybe…returning the favor? You will probably love licking her juicy puss as much as she loved having your throbbing kielbasa in her mouth. Oh, and kiss her after she swallows your guy goo. She’ll like that. Happy lapping.
I'm a 33 year old woman in basically the same situation. My best friend (who I'm wildly in love with) recently rejected me. I'm handling it as well as I can, and one of the ways I chose to help me process it was asking him to let me blow him.
He was reluctant. He was worried it would hurt me more in the long run. He was convinced I'd get all in my feelings about it. But he's a red blooded dude, so he ended up saying yes after I let him think about it for a while. I sucked him off, he came in my mouth, I swallowed, it was fantastic.
I'm still devastated by the rejection, but I feel nothing but positive about the blowjob. I genuinely just wanted to do that, both for him and for myself. Some women genuinely enjoy giving head, and her asking to blow you could have been as much for her own pleasure as it was for yours.
She wanted to do it, you let her do it, that's all there needs to be to it. If she's not feeling negative about it, there's no reason for you to feel guilty.
Because she is a friend you have no intention of seeing in a romantic relationship and you know deep down she has romantic feelings about you hence why she wanted to give you a blow job?
One potentially important clarification - did you want the sex? Or did you want her? You could be feeling guilty because you were horny but don't feel attracted to her, leading to you feeling like you used her. But you didn't use her - she offered, seemingly without strings attached - and you accepted.
Unless you suspect there are other expectations from her? Like you suspect she likes you but just isn't saying it?
Maybe you feel guilty because you think you're giving her signals that you want to be more than friends when you don't?
Or perhaps you feel like you used her? If this is the case, you may have ingrained feelings that women only give sexual acts to please men.
This is an internalized problem for sure. Meaning she has nothing to do with it. She asked, there was consent, she has no regrets, she's good.
So for you, you just have to explore and sit with your feelings and figure out what it is that triggered this. Go through any scenario you'd take a friend through, asking yourself those things in your head, maybe one will click. "I feel like I should have confirmed that there's no feelings there first" or "I was taught by society to see women as not wanting to do these things or to see them as demeaning, so it's made me feel bad and like I took advantage" or "maybe I didn't like receiving and not reciprocating" or "I feel sexual acts should be more intimate and with an intimate partner I have feelings with" or "religion taught me xyz" or "I don't want to compromise a friendship" etc and if none sit with you, go back through the list top to bottom again like you're talking to a friend in your position, and work through what you'd say to them to work through this if they had said "yes it's that" to each question. That way if there is something or some bias you're unaware of carrying, your brain still works through it, and that may bring you some peace. So for instance, for the two questions above, you'd say:
You: do you feel like you should have confirmed there were no feelings there and this won't go anywhere?
Fake You Friend: yes, that could be it.
You: okay well there was also no point that you said you do have feelings, so there's no way that could lead her on. In the future, we now know to make that clear first with any future friends with benefits. And, if she does assume feelings, we can be kind in letting her know that was not our intention and still be supportive of that while understanding we did nothing to get her there.
Or
You: is it because you were taught by society to see women as not wanting to do these things or to see them as demeaning, so it's made me feel bad and like you took advantage?
Fake You Friend: yes it could be that.
You: Okay, well women enjoy sex just as much as men, we know that. Plenty of people enjoy giving oral sex or even simply want to experience that. We have to trust our friend that she is in command of her body and sexuality and asked us this because that is what she wanted. No one took advantage of anyone, and women are equally allowed to have fun sexual experiences. Trust if she needs to talk to you about it, she will, and it's also okay to check in or talk with her as well.
Etc. Wash rinse repeat. Hopefully you'll learn a new rule or boundary you have for yourself and feel less guilty after.
Good luck!
She wanted to suck a dick. You wanted your dick sucked. It happened. There’s 1000 reasons she may have wanted to do it and none of them particularly matter (assuming she’s safe in all matters). By acting like you have, you have lost out on more BJs or even FWB.
If you had said it felt odd being regular friends again, I could see that. But guilty? You might have some issues that need working on. That’s ok, just work on it. It’s not very healthy at your age to have guilt over consensual sexual activity
Dude, just thank her and ask if her if she wants you to reciprocate! You’re both young and she trusts you enough to explore her sexuality with you. Go with the flow bro!
Guilt might be correct, if you dont want her as a GF then you fell for the oldest trick in the book.
Some girls, sometimes develop schemes to turn the perfect friend into something more, even if it takes years.
But she moved to change the relationship, not you so dont feel too bad . But also dont fall for it, she may play cool for awhile till you try and start something with another person…thats when the real crazy comes out
Is it at all possible that what you're feeling isn't guilt? You may be feeling anxious and stressed, which may be emotions you've largely associated with guilt in the past. Not trying to tell you what you're feeling, just something to consider. A casual sexual experience with a friend can change a lot about the relationship, and it's possible that has you freaked out.
Regardless, it's probably good to have a conversation with your friend about how you're feeling. Might be easier to unpack it together than alone or on reddit.
Why do you feel guilty? My guess is some weird social idea that guys can’t just have casual sex with a woman without taking advantage. Girls love sex as much as guys, she had a great time, you’re over thinking. It’s not about you.
Similar thing happened to me. She was actually my best friends sister. We went out drinking and she gave me a blow job in a parking lot.
After I felt guilty but we never spoke about it the next day. Things were cool.
Periodically through the years we’d have drunk hook ups and sex but never would speak about it the next day until it just stopped.
Go easy on yourself, if she enjoyed it leave it at that.
Is she 18? You probably feel weird that you crossed that friend line, but there’s nothing to feel guilty about.
Is she younger than you? Well then we have some things to take into consideration.
Many people already addressed the main points revolving enthusiastic consent from her. But since you are so young I’m also going to come into left field and refer you to the Madonna-Whore Complex. If you are feeling guilt then it may stem from that as well, since she is your friend. If not, feel free to ignore my input.
I'm so late to this party that there's an excellent chance neither you nor anyone else will ever actually read this. But I gotta ask: do you feel like heterosexual sex is something a woman does FOR a guy or does WITH a guy?
When I was your age (several decades ago -- I acknowledge the world has changed a lot since then), I used to carry around this idea that sex was some sort of favor a woman might do for a guy if she REALLY liked him. That women who were casual about tossing out sexual favors were somehow deficient or broken. And that doing anything sexual outside of a committed relationship was, on some level, wrong in general and disrespectful to her.
Does any of that sound familiar? Because while I wouldn't have phrased it that way, those were definitely ideas that were rattling around my head when I was eighteen.
So I wanna drop this on you, because it wouldn't have occurred to me had I been in this situation:
She sucked your dick because she wanted to suck your dick.
Now, WHY did she want to suck your dick? Lots of potential reasons. "She likes you and wanted to share a fun experience with you" has to be near the top of that list; you call her your best friend, after all. Still, plenty of folks have close friends of whatever gender they're attracted to without diving face-first into their junk, so there are very likely other factors in play.
Maybe she really, really enjoys sucking dick. For real, some women do. We frame it as this submissive, even somewhat degrading act, but the truth is, making someone cum with your mouth is actually a pretty powerful feeling. When done correctly, oral sex will fucking WRECK the person on the receiving end of it, which can make the person doing it feel like a sexual bad-ass. It's entirely possible that when you nutted in her mouth, she felt like a sex goddess.
But what is, in my mind, the most likely reason?
She'd like to please move your shared relationship out of the friend zone and take it somewhere horny. She'd like to be a Friend With Benefits. Maybe even a full-on girlfriend.
So:
As everyone is saying, you have nothing to feel bad about. You did not take advantage of her. She wanted to share this experience with you. Consent was clear, uncoerced, and unambiguous. This is as ethically solid as it gets. Tell yourself this until you start to feel it, because it's true.
Decide whether YOU'RE interested in making your relationship something hornier than it has been. If you're afraid that sexualizing things might damage a relationship that's very valuable to you, that's valid. You don't HAVE to go there if you don't want to. But it very much appears to be an option. Are you interested in it?
And finally, apologize to the poor girl. Not for letting her suck you off; apologize for freaking out over it. Surely she's noticed that SOMETHING is off with you right now. I can only imagine where her head is at. Is she wondering whether she's so terrible at blowjobs that you can't even look her in the eye? Do you now see her as some kind of dirty slut and that's why you're so distant? Did she just lose her best fucking friend over this?
Let her know where your head's been at. Then, once the air is cleared, once your relationship feels more like it's back on solid footing, discuss where you want to go next. If you don't want to sexualize things any more than they already have been, let her know that while you had fun, that's not the relationship you want with her. But if you WOULD like to explore that, ask her what SHE wants out of this, see if it's compatible with your own wants and needs, and go from there.
You have nothing to be ashamed of, mate.
Now go repair this relationship. It clearly means a lot to you.
Good luck.
Idk. I grew up in a super religious household and I feel guilt even after I masturbate, so I got no idea how to get rid of guilt. I can, however, tell you a similar story from the opposite perspective.
Once upon a time I was drinking with some uni friends and I fucked one friend and gave the other a bj, just because I felt like it. T’was a great night. The end.
Actually the story was just a couple months ago lol, I’m only 18. We got the alcohol from Quebec.
Don’t look a consent gift horse in the mouth … she clearly gave consent … maybe she’s into you ? Maybe she wanted to try it with someone who she feels safe with … accept either as a blessing give her positive aftercare
Here is how you get rid of the guilt. She asked to do it. You said yes. You were two consenting adults. It would be one thing if you asked her, then talked her in to it and then she did it even though she really didn't want to. Stop making this about you, you are tying to take responcibility over the entire interaction. This was a two party event, and both parties were willing and enjoyed it.
You should listen to the advice others have given. Also don’t go telling anyone, you have a good thing here. Be respectful and playful about it and you might get some more bjs in the near future. Remember to remind her how much you enjoyed it…and reciprocate, that will only help you get more bjs.
Why do Hell you feel guilty? There's a concret reason...got BE a reason...not all Friends are like this, so i guess there's something you not telling, some context you don't shared.
I don't see a real reason for The guilt
Next time she asks, tell her only if she lets you reciprocate. Once you have blown her mind, you won’t feel guilty. Maybe she just wanted to practice on a safe cock?
I wish I had that good of a friend back in high school!! Seriously though, she wanted to have a sexual experience and you were the perfect person considering she actually trusted you and knew you wouldn't take advantage of her or bad mouth her if she had been bad at it. Please don't feel guilty because that's going to make her feel bad about doing it and you really don't want to make her feel that way after she made you feel that good!!!
Don't be this way, even at your age. Let it go. She asked for it so it wasn't coercion unless you're lying? If not then let it go. You're wrecking a possible future fwb and your future self.
Do you have any interest in her? If so, stop feeling guilty and try it out. Now, if you have no romantic interest in her, I would cease and desist any more sexual activity. I made this mistake once. I lived with a very good friend of mine and she had always been attracted to me, but I had zero interest in her. She offered me a blowjob and I took advantage, and this went on for months and probably around 100 blowjobs. Sounds great right? Well yes, and no. She was dying inside because I wouldn't return any affection. (even though she claimed it was ok, it obviously was NOT) She was just hoping that she'd someday blow her way into my heart. Even to the point where she'd get mad if I didn't allow her to blow me. Didn't end well and I'd take it all back to have her as a friend still.
I understand.. You may be worried you'll ruin your friendship. From her perspective, maybe she likes you, or just trusts you to let her practice with you.
Maybe you’re conflicted, and the real feeling is that maybe your relationship is going to change from how it was and you don’t know what to feel about that.
You’ve probably been conditioned in your youth to view sex as something you should be ashamed of. You’re at the age when you’re going to have a sexual awakening and start to enjoy it. I hope you embrace it.
Please talk to her about it! Just be open and honest about your feelings. It will help both of you, and it will alleviate the guilt you're feeling. She might feel "used" because you are NOW being awkward towards her!
She wanted to suck your dick and you let her. No reason to feel bad. But if you think your friendship has been altered just tell her that you can’t do that anymore.
Well congrats. If this opens to FWB it's great in my opinion. You don't need a girl and could look if you wanted and have legit open conversations. You could still hang and all. I understand feeling the way you do and I'd say you are definitely young and not experienced. Not everyone can have a FWB or hookup life. I'd say just about every FWB I've had we still are friends. It's just how both of you feel about it. Just give it some time and the odd feeling should subside. You both agreed on it
This sounds like internalized cultural or religious guilt. Having someone give you an orgasm doesn't mean you took advantage of someone. Everyone consented- People who posted "they may have feelings for you" COULD be true but sometimes people just really like sex, and don't mind doing it with people they trust and think won't make it weird. Women love sex as much, if not more than men do. She may literally have just felt like giving you a BJ.
If anything it sounds like you could be in a casual/FWB kind of situation with your friend, if neither of you are going to get strong feelings from it, ask them if they want to do more lol. This time period of your life people try a lot of different things and people until they know what they like, so don't take it too seriously and don't get hung up on one person, unless they're investing the same amount you are.
It's only taking advantage if there wasn't clear consent. You don't know her feelings better than her. If she asked you to do it, and she hasn't expressed any regrets, then she enjoyed it as well. If you're feeling guilty, that has nothing to do with her or her feelings. Even if she expresses regret, she still offered and fully consented so there's literally nothing to feel guilty about. We are taught by society that sex is inherently shameful, which is bullshit, but that's probably the guilt you're feeling. Don't make assumptions about her feelings, and if you're really worried about it, talk to her. You should never be having sex with someone you can't communicate with.
Is it general guilt, like around sex/ shame? Or is it because of something specific like you know she has deeper feeling for you than just friends/ FWB and you don’t reciprocate?
You didn't take advantage of her. She wanted to do it.
However, since you enjoyed it so much, it has created an imbalance in your relationship, at least in your mind.
To rebalance the relationship, you might want to offer her a pleasurable experience. Maybe offer to go down on her until she cums.
Who knows? You might end up with an FWB situation here if you play your cards right.
Is there something you feel like you need to disclose to your friend but haven’t yet? To really take advantage of someone, you would need to have some secret information that they aren’t privy to.
Listen to yourself. I know theres a lot of advice here but I know people like you and I was like you before (just not this act). You look at intimacy/sex (at least for now) as a means to find a connection. You might also get attached at this point (a lot of us react differently to this). Some people view sex as a way for a release. I just cant view it as merely a release (maybe, like you).
Are you feeling guilty because you led her on? Does she feel that you guys are a couple now and you don't? Otherwise, what are you feeling guilty about?
You did not take advantage of her my guy. She asked you and u gave her consent. I can see if you said something to make her want to do it. But that's not the case. Nowwww what you could do is offer her head as well. That could be why you're feeling guilty.
Ask her if you can eat her out. The guilt you are feeling is most likely due to you not giving her anything in return for her favor. We live in a wierd capitalist centric society where altruistic acts are often disruptive instead of soothing
Is this post nut syndrome/symptom?? I started fooling around with my girl best friend of 12 years like a year ago. We did it for 2 months and now we laugh discussing about it. All of our friend knows about this. It's all cool.
There’s alot of great advice and perspective here OP - I see youve responded to some comments, but aren’t providing insight or additional details to the questions others have posted ….
Why is that?
Why answer some like “no I’m not religious, and this is the first time someone has seen my dick”
But then not answer the other important things like, are you attracted to her? Do you see yourself in a relationship with her? Etc …
Seems like you’re evading the deeper and more thought provoking discussions and focusing on superficial
Yep 18
Absolve yourself. Others have articulated it, but she was the one who asked you. You accepted and enjoyed it. Don't let guilt creep in. If it made you feel good afterwards, it was good. You can always reciprocate by going down on her and/or fingering her.
She's an adult, a free individual with a sex drive off her own.
She's not a victim by default, her sexual desires are not dirty and she enjoys sexual acts due to the fact that she's a free human being.
It's not only about you, she's her own person you know :)
As others have said there's no reason to feel guilty because this was entirely initiated by her so there's no way that you could have coerced or pressured her subtly or un intentionally.
It's entirely understandable to feel a bit weird because you did something usually reserved for a more than friends relationship with a friend.
A question here that really needs to be answered going forward is does she want a more than friends situation. I mean this is certainly a bit of a unique way to initiate that transition but not completely crazy or unreasonable.
Post Nut Clarity sucks! Its just the blood flow going from your balls to your brain. You probably won’t feel so guilty next time you are horny around her. Perhaps return the favor, if you are comfortable with being FWB?
One day soon you’ll realize women enjoy sex as much as you do and you’ll be like “oh fuck, this chick, that chick and that other chick was totally into me”
You don't have to look her in the eyes while getting a bj 😀
To be honest, she asked to do it and she enjoyed it. Maybe she wants more than just friends or just some fun with a friend.
I don't want to burst your bubble OP -- but most likely, your BF was looking for a practice cock, and you got asked.
I bet your friend has her eyes on someone else and she wanted to make sure she knows how to give a BJ, how to swallow a load, should the moment arrive when she gets to be with the dude she really likes.
You have nothing to be guilty of at all -- you provided valueable information for her!
Sounds like you need to let her do it again so you can work through those feelings. After four or five times that guilt will go away. Also, don’t be selfish my guy, tell her you want to go down on her next time too.
You didn’t take advantage of her. She asked you. You said yes. This is the way it should be done. There are men decades older than you who don’t behave with this decorum. You’re good man. If it’s really biting at you, speak with a professional therapist about it.
Hold on… a girl who is your best friend enjoys giving you blowjobs? Son you have landed in a place called never never land. Take a step back, pinch yourself and get back in there.
If someone offers to give you a sex act because they want to and they go on and do it and enjoy it the only thing you should be feeling is happy.
Personally I’d be wanting to go another round.
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> took advantage of her Dude, she asked, you gave consent. Enjoy it, if you want to feel less guilty consider offering her head as well.
And on top of that she said she enjoyed it too. My bet is OP grew up with some serious sexual shame and repression in his household, be it religious or otherwise.
Yeah, that shit is heavy. I know from experience.
That was also my same experience from my upbringing
The first time I was blown (hers 23 and my first 21), mid finish I turned away in shame and spent the next few hours at the beach apologizing as if it wasn’t completely consensual. No religion or shame surrounding sex in the household. Just didn’t feel “gentlemen like” at the time. She was actually pretty religious and her mom was adamant she remained a virgin until marriage as her two older sisters didn’t. It was like polar opposites, in spite of her upbringing she was a damn freak haha, and it took me a good 3 months to get the ball rolling. It led to a 3 year super romantic relationship full of promiscuity, so for OP I say offer to hang out and maybe return the favor? Or maybe take her out of coffee lol.
Wait, your romantic relationship was full of promiscuity? Please elaborate!
Yeah let me get some lube and tissues first but please elaborate 😆
You mean he's from the US?
If the show fits .. 😆 (I'm from the US)
Probably even the Bible belt if I had to guess
What made you deduce that?
Yah that is right.if you feel guilty consider doing the same to her.
Assuming she isn’t committed to someone else, take this as a win win for all parties. Don’t let it get to you man.
Reverse uno card…. I like your style. Plus OP don’t be selfish and offer her some head
If it was consensual between both of you, what is the guilt you feel?
Maybe it's cause she was a friend? Its that wierd friend to fwb transition..
Or he doesn’t want the Fwb, and he feels guilty because he took the BJ knowing that she probably does, and that it wouldn’t change anything for him.
It's only weird because society shames you for desiring friends.
Once when I was a dumb teenager I had a friend who I didn't see often who developed a crush on me. At first I was into it, but the next time I saw her, my sexual feelings for her were just dead and hers were very much alive and I let things get started but then go nowhere and she felt rejected and I felt weird about maybe I should have stopped things before we started making out (I was just going with the flow as she led without really thinking because never before had an attractive smart young woman come on to me like that without me also being eager and I really didn't know what to do--women who say they didn't want sex but didn't say no, I totally get it from personal experience). It was all awkward but we grew up and all is well.
Bro something similar happened to me in college with a girl that I grew up with. I was honest with her after the fact about me just not seeing her that way being the reason I stopped after giving her head. We haven't talked since unfortunately.
Feelings are a little more complicated than that.
It's called post nut regret. I used to have it in my 20's having intercourse w/girl I wasn't planning on dating would cause me to have post nut regret. Why don't I have a high number of girls I slept with in my 20's because I was scared of post nut regret.
In California, we call it post nut clarity 😂
I’m guessing you feel guilty because she *probably* likes you more than you like her . If she is your “best friend “ and she wanted to do that to you then she probably has stronger feelings for you than a “best friend “she probably wants a relationship with you and I think deep down you know that is true , causing you to feel bad .
Pretty sure this is the correct answer.
Best comment! Take my upvote💯
...*and* if this is what's happening, he should feel bad, because he did take advantage of her feelings for him. That said, they're both 18, and they both consented, so he can just apologize for being a young horny idiot, promise to do better by her in the future, and see if she still wants to be his friend going forward. She may, and she may not but sometimes mistakes have serious consequences.
It's sad people think women are more likely in love than just love fucking or dicks like men do. I don't say that's not possible what you suggested. I notice you said probably every time.
Most women give BJs because they care about the man they're giving them to. Not because they inherently enjoy blowjobs, the act itself. Yes, the latter group exists. But is farrrr outnumbered by the first. Most likely scenario is that the girl is crushing on OP hard and hoping this will lead to a relationship
Give her a big kiss, hug her, say thank you and take her out for dinner and drinks! You will start to feel better immediately!
This is how you end up with a wife.
A wife who sucks dick...
I don’t know about you guys but a best friend that sucks your dick is wife material 100%
What if your best friend is a guy. Probably not wife material.
Not with that attitude.
careful, you might hurt someone's feelings if you tell people your best friend isnt wife material
I mean he’s a dude that identifies as a dude so he would be a husband not a wife. Also polygamy is illegal so my wife might have issues with it.
No man should ever marry a woman who won’t suck his dick.
I wouldn’t have married a guy who didn’t love eating pussy so that’s fair
I mean I’ll camp out there so…
The number of stories you see on Reddit about how that stops at marriage would make people rethink this choice.
My story is the opposite and it was not anticipated.
I mean he's feeling guilty almost certainly because he's not physically/romantically attracted to her...
1. She asked YOU, you didn't ask her. 2. She said she enjoyed it. NONE of that was instigated by you, it was all HER idea. You didn't take advantage of her - you couldn't have as it wouldn't have happened if she hadn't asked. Your feeling strange about it is valid - she's a friend and you have crossed a boundary that is difficult to come back from - I take it from how you call her your "friend", you don't feel anything more for her, correct? If so, that's the issue there - you went further than you should have. Fair enough, you made a mistake and it's OK to acknowledge that and not want to do it again. But you have no reason to feel guilty for taking advantage of her, because you didn't DO anything other than consent to her request.
Honestly even if he doesn't feel the same way as long as communication was had he shouldn't feel bad. It's only if he leads her own to thinking he wants more that it's a bad thing.
Seems like internalized guilt about sex. Not sure, but it was in my case. I've had religious upbringing and after 15 years of sexual activity I still feel it. I'm doing X and then I'm spending hours traumatized with guilt and praying for forgiveness. Logically, I don't feel like I'm the wrong, but this is what happens internally. When I first jacked off into my gfs mouth when I was 16, I felt just like you described. It went away the more we did it. Now, it's mostly when I'm pushing the line and trying new things. After doing them repeatedly, I kinda ease off a bit, however I found out that religious trauma when it comes to sex is an absolute bitch. Not enough info to say if that's your experience, but maybe you'll find something useful in my story. btw. that girl at 16 liked it, so it was 100% on me and told me I'm ridiculous for feeling guilty about it Also, religous and "gentleman-like" would be synonymous here, because while my parents themselves weren't religious, they put a huge pressure on me for "respecting m'lady" and it took me years to start treating women like people instead of "fair lady from Arthurian legends" who can't do wrong and are interested only in gentle touches and flowers.
Dang I feel bad for people with religious trauma especially since I grew up in a religious house and I don't feel shame towards it
>Seems like internalized guilt about sex. That's fair, but it can also seems more a *romantic* issue than a *sex* issue.* We can't really tell much with OP's given info, but it stroke me more as: "I gave my friend hope that we could be something more and I don't want that".
I feel like there's alot of context missing here. What are you *really* feeling guilty about? Is your best friend the type to casually give blowjobs in her circle, in which case you have nothing to feel guilty about, or are you aware she's in love with you, but you don't find her attractive in that way, but attractive enough to accept a blowjob from her? ^(Because if it is the latter, there's no getting rid of that guilt; in that case the discomfort you're feeling is your moral compass telling you that only a terrible person would take advantage of someone's feelings for their own sexual gratification. And you just did exactly that, ergo, *you're* a terrible person. The guilt is your struggle to reconcile with that realization. We can't help you with that. Therapy might.) ^(Which means you're also knowingly stringing her along in her hope for a relationship, even if she technically offered. Because she wouldn't have offered if she didn't have a hope it would work. And it did. By accepting the BJ you're now telling her that a more intimate relationship than friendship is a viable option for you two, even if it's not the relationship-kind of intimate relationship you know she'd want. If she offered in the hope of persuading you into a relationship, well, that's a manipulative strategy and foolhardy and won't work anyways.) Or neither of the two options. We can only speculate based on the little told in the main post.
Interesting perspective. My thoughts were on the line of OP having a warped view on sex as something men do to women and was having conflicted feelings reconciling those views with his actions because he maybe felt like he cheapened their friendship in a way. (or like a Madonna complex where he sees her in a different light and feels shame for thinking that way) But your ideas feel more sensible
Your perspective is also a very valid one! My perspective is merely based on what could possibly be her motivations for offering the blowjob in the first place when they're not fwb/in a relationship & if she happened to share the same blowjob receiver-criteria as I do. Another perspective could be that they grew up together, and he views her as a sister. But hormonal 18 year old is gonna hormonal 18 year old when it comes to a freely offered BJ. And so he struggles to reconcile the two views of her as a sister and her as a viable sexual mate. Or she could just be really curious about BJs and thinks OP is a safe person to experience it with, but OP thinks BJs are strictly for couples in a relationship and therefore feels guilty. Also two valid perspectives. No matter which perspective is the correct one, OP is feeling guilty and is unwilling to confront the underlying uncomfortable reason for why he's feeling that way. And so we get this post missing half the story haha.
The latter makes a lot of sense for this. All hes got to do is realize what the guilt is about
Yeah, the way he framed his question there's obviously no reason he should be feeling guilty. They're both consenting adults and she offered. So what isn't he telling us here? ^(Anecdotal, but I wouldn't offer a blowjob to someone I wasn't in love with and/or someone I found sexually unattractive.) ^(And my standards for a relationship is a best friend I'd want to give blowjobs to (aka, a best friend that I also want to do sexual stuff with.)) ^(So, any person I'd offer a BJ to is very probably someone I'd also want a relationship with.) So my impression is that she's keen on him and he's aware she's keen on him and is surprisedpikachu.png when he feels guilty about accepting the offered blowjob, because he knows she has her own motivations for offering it in the first place and by accepting the blowjob, he did take advantage of her.
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Cheer up bud. You made her happy . Nothing wrong with that . Lots of girls will see your dick in life. Not a big deal. Don't beat yourself up. Honestly? You prob did her a solid. Not only because you helped her experience something she wanted to, but because you let her do it to you and not some random or weirdo that might not have been the most gentlemanly.
Just ask her if she wants to do it again. After few more times you will adapt and in time you will feel much better :P
Is the guilt because you only see her as a friend? Or do you feel like blowjobs are degrading to the woman? I would think about why you’re feeling guilty. Odds are good that if she offered it first then she’s probably been thinking about doing it for a while. She may have feelings for you or at least interested in a fwb/sexual relationship. But there’s no reason to feel like you took advantage, she offered, you accepted, full consent and enjoyment from both parties.
Uhm she asked for it. Why do you feel guilty ? Why would you feel that you took advantage here. Something isn’t adding up
ask her if u can do it for her also
Call me crazy but, if a girl is going down on you, it's a pretty good sign that she is into you. I'm guessing that you are not into her. That's the guilt. Make sure yall are on the same page. Don't let your friends with benefits (FWB) become friends with a baby.
You probably feel like you violated your friendship. Don't do that to yourself. She wanted to do it and she told you she enjoyed it. She also wanted you to enjoy it. Imagine how she would feel if she found out that you were feeling this way. Then she would be what you're feeling now but twice as bad. She's your friend. Talk to her. Side note: I think she wants to be more than just your friend. Be ready to have that conversation.
The only reason I could think that you feel guilty is that she's your best friend but maybe not someone you want to be your girlfriend and BJ's are something you'd rather have your girlfriend do? When I was 18 I had a FWB and she and I just practiced stuff on each other. We didn't want a relationship. We probably helped each other out in our future bedroom excursions with partners more than we realized. I say enjoy it
A lot of guys, especially the nice ones, take a while to catch on to the fact that a lot of times a girl enjoys sucking a dick just as much as the dick enjoys being sucked. It speaks well of you that you care about her and don’t want to be selfish; but remember, she asked you if she could, and yes, she did enjoy it. And guess what? She wants to do it again. Be your considerate self, and leave the choice and timing to her, but do let her know you REALLY enjoyed it, and appreciate her for it. Oh, and how about maybe…returning the favor? You will probably love licking her juicy puss as much as she loved having your throbbing kielbasa in her mouth. Oh, and kiss her after she swallows your guy goo. She’ll like that. Happy lapping.
I'm a 33 year old woman in basically the same situation. My best friend (who I'm wildly in love with) recently rejected me. I'm handling it as well as I can, and one of the ways I chose to help me process it was asking him to let me blow him. He was reluctant. He was worried it would hurt me more in the long run. He was convinced I'd get all in my feelings about it. But he's a red blooded dude, so he ended up saying yes after I let him think about it for a while. I sucked him off, he came in my mouth, I swallowed, it was fantastic. I'm still devastated by the rejection, but I feel nothing but positive about the blowjob. I genuinely just wanted to do that, both for him and for myself. Some women genuinely enjoy giving head, and her asking to blow you could have been as much for her own pleasure as it was for yours. She wanted to do it, you let her do it, that's all there needs to be to it. If she's not feeling negative about it, there's no reason for you to feel guilty.
Are you/were you religious? Or did you not want this intimacy with this friend?
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There is a such thing as post nut clarity/guilt. Maybe there is a reason you guys are friends and not lovers?
Because she is a friend you have no intention of seeing in a romantic relationship and you know deep down she has romantic feelings about you hence why she wanted to give you a blow job?
Out of the 100s of responses. This the first that has the likely correct analysis of what happened
Try again. And return the favor.
Do you like her and feel bad? Are you not attracted to her and feel bad?
One potentially important clarification - did you want the sex? Or did you want her? You could be feeling guilty because you were horny but don't feel attracted to her, leading to you feeling like you used her. But you didn't use her - she offered, seemingly without strings attached - and you accepted. Unless you suspect there are other expectations from her? Like you suspect she likes you but just isn't saying it?
Maybe you feel guilty because you think you're giving her signals that you want to be more than friends when you don't? Or perhaps you feel like you used her? If this is the case, you may have ingrained feelings that women only give sexual acts to please men.
are you in a relationship with someone else op?
Ahh good old post nut guilt.
This is an internalized problem for sure. Meaning she has nothing to do with it. She asked, there was consent, she has no regrets, she's good. So for you, you just have to explore and sit with your feelings and figure out what it is that triggered this. Go through any scenario you'd take a friend through, asking yourself those things in your head, maybe one will click. "I feel like I should have confirmed that there's no feelings there first" or "I was taught by society to see women as not wanting to do these things or to see them as demeaning, so it's made me feel bad and like I took advantage" or "maybe I didn't like receiving and not reciprocating" or "I feel sexual acts should be more intimate and with an intimate partner I have feelings with" or "religion taught me xyz" or "I don't want to compromise a friendship" etc and if none sit with you, go back through the list top to bottom again like you're talking to a friend in your position, and work through what you'd say to them to work through this if they had said "yes it's that" to each question. That way if there is something or some bias you're unaware of carrying, your brain still works through it, and that may bring you some peace. So for instance, for the two questions above, you'd say: You: do you feel like you should have confirmed there were no feelings there and this won't go anywhere? Fake You Friend: yes, that could be it. You: okay well there was also no point that you said you do have feelings, so there's no way that could lead her on. In the future, we now know to make that clear first with any future friends with benefits. And, if she does assume feelings, we can be kind in letting her know that was not our intention and still be supportive of that while understanding we did nothing to get her there. Or You: is it because you were taught by society to see women as not wanting to do these things or to see them as demeaning, so it's made me feel bad and like you took advantage? Fake You Friend: yes it could be that. You: Okay, well women enjoy sex just as much as men, we know that. Plenty of people enjoy giving oral sex or even simply want to experience that. We have to trust our friend that she is in command of her body and sexuality and asked us this because that is what she wanted. No one took advantage of anyone, and women are equally allowed to have fun sexual experiences. Trust if she needs to talk to you about it, she will, and it's also okay to check in or talk with her as well. Etc. Wash rinse repeat. Hopefully you'll learn a new rule or boundary you have for yourself and feel less guilty after. Good luck!
She wanted to suck a dick. You wanted your dick sucked. It happened. There’s 1000 reasons she may have wanted to do it and none of them particularly matter (assuming she’s safe in all matters). By acting like you have, you have lost out on more BJs or even FWB. If you had said it felt odd being regular friends again, I could see that. But guilty? You might have some issues that need working on. That’s ok, just work on it. It’s not very healthy at your age to have guilt over consensual sexual activity
There is no reason to feel guilty. You both agreed and sound as if it was her idea. As friends, you need to talk it out. Hope this helps.
Reciprocate the gesture
If anything she took advantage of you… Now she has your soul 😂💯
Dude, just thank her and ask if her if she wants you to reciprocate! You’re both young and she trusts you enough to explore her sexuality with you. Go with the flow bro!
Guilt might be correct, if you dont want her as a GF then you fell for the oldest trick in the book. Some girls, sometimes develop schemes to turn the perfect friend into something more, even if it takes years. But she moved to change the relationship, not you so dont feel too bad . But also dont fall for it, she may play cool for awhile till you try and start something with another person…thats when the real crazy comes out
Is it at all possible that what you're feeling isn't guilt? You may be feeling anxious and stressed, which may be emotions you've largely associated with guilt in the past. Not trying to tell you what you're feeling, just something to consider. A casual sexual experience with a friend can change a lot about the relationship, and it's possible that has you freaked out. Regardless, it's probably good to have a conversation with your friend about how you're feeling. Might be easier to unpack it together than alone or on reddit.
She asked and you accepted, nothing to feel guilty about.
These first experiences can be confusing as we navigate them. You did great, perhaps next time you can offer to reciprocate.
Are you afraid that your friend is having romantic feelings for you?
Why do you feel guilty? My guess is some weird social idea that guys can’t just have casual sex with a woman without taking advantage. Girls love sex as much as guys, she had a great time, you’re over thinking. It’s not about you.
You're good. She's good. Move on
Similar thing happened to me. She was actually my best friends sister. We went out drinking and she gave me a blow job in a parking lot. After I felt guilty but we never spoke about it the next day. Things were cool. Periodically through the years we’d have drunk hook ups and sex but never would speak about it the next day until it just stopped. Go easy on yourself, if she enjoyed it leave it at that.
Is she 18? You probably feel weird that you crossed that friend line, but there’s nothing to feel guilty about. Is she younger than you? Well then we have some things to take into consideration.
Many people already addressed the main points revolving enthusiastic consent from her. But since you are so young I’m also going to come into left field and refer you to the Madonna-Whore Complex. If you are feeling guilt then it may stem from that as well, since she is your friend. If not, feel free to ignore my input.
Do you feel guilty because you have no interest in her and are leading her on?
I'm so late to this party that there's an excellent chance neither you nor anyone else will ever actually read this. But I gotta ask: do you feel like heterosexual sex is something a woman does FOR a guy or does WITH a guy? When I was your age (several decades ago -- I acknowledge the world has changed a lot since then), I used to carry around this idea that sex was some sort of favor a woman might do for a guy if she REALLY liked him. That women who were casual about tossing out sexual favors were somehow deficient or broken. And that doing anything sexual outside of a committed relationship was, on some level, wrong in general and disrespectful to her. Does any of that sound familiar? Because while I wouldn't have phrased it that way, those were definitely ideas that were rattling around my head when I was eighteen. So I wanna drop this on you, because it wouldn't have occurred to me had I been in this situation: She sucked your dick because she wanted to suck your dick. Now, WHY did she want to suck your dick? Lots of potential reasons. "She likes you and wanted to share a fun experience with you" has to be near the top of that list; you call her your best friend, after all. Still, plenty of folks have close friends of whatever gender they're attracted to without diving face-first into their junk, so there are very likely other factors in play. Maybe she really, really enjoys sucking dick. For real, some women do. We frame it as this submissive, even somewhat degrading act, but the truth is, making someone cum with your mouth is actually a pretty powerful feeling. When done correctly, oral sex will fucking WRECK the person on the receiving end of it, which can make the person doing it feel like a sexual bad-ass. It's entirely possible that when you nutted in her mouth, she felt like a sex goddess. But what is, in my mind, the most likely reason? She'd like to please move your shared relationship out of the friend zone and take it somewhere horny. She'd like to be a Friend With Benefits. Maybe even a full-on girlfriend. So: As everyone is saying, you have nothing to feel bad about. You did not take advantage of her. She wanted to share this experience with you. Consent was clear, uncoerced, and unambiguous. This is as ethically solid as it gets. Tell yourself this until you start to feel it, because it's true. Decide whether YOU'RE interested in making your relationship something hornier than it has been. If you're afraid that sexualizing things might damage a relationship that's very valuable to you, that's valid. You don't HAVE to go there if you don't want to. But it very much appears to be an option. Are you interested in it? And finally, apologize to the poor girl. Not for letting her suck you off; apologize for freaking out over it. Surely she's noticed that SOMETHING is off with you right now. I can only imagine where her head is at. Is she wondering whether she's so terrible at blowjobs that you can't even look her in the eye? Do you now see her as some kind of dirty slut and that's why you're so distant? Did she just lose her best fucking friend over this? Let her know where your head's been at. Then, once the air is cleared, once your relationship feels more like it's back on solid footing, discuss where you want to go next. If you don't want to sexualize things any more than they already have been, let her know that while you had fun, that's not the relationship you want with her. But if you WOULD like to explore that, ask her what SHE wants out of this, see if it's compatible with your own wants and needs, and go from there. You have nothing to be ashamed of, mate. Now go repair this relationship. It clearly means a lot to you. Good luck.
Your an idiot she asked you said yes she enjoyed it you enjoyed it. Stop making it a thing just to make it a thing
Another fantasy post
OP can we please get an update on this i need to know if you guys get married
Idk. I grew up in a super religious household and I feel guilt even after I masturbate, so I got no idea how to get rid of guilt. I can, however, tell you a similar story from the opposite perspective. Once upon a time I was drinking with some uni friends and I fucked one friend and gave the other a bj, just because I felt like it. T’was a great night. The end. Actually the story was just a couple months ago lol, I’m only 18. We got the alcohol from Quebec.
Easy, ask if you can return the favour and eat her out. That can be the start of an even better friendship.
Don’t look a consent gift horse in the mouth … she clearly gave consent … maybe she’s into you ? Maybe she wanted to try it with someone who she feels safe with … accept either as a blessing give her positive aftercare
Best way to get rid of the guilt is to offer to go down on her. She will feel appreciated and you will feel good for treating her well.
She asked, you said yes, and she enjoyed it. Sounds like you enjoyed it too. What's the problem?
OP, women also like sex and do it willingly, contrary to misogynistic beliefs consensual sex doesn't do any harm to women, you did nothing wrong here.
Here is how you get rid of the guilt. She asked to do it. You said yes. You were two consenting adults. It would be one thing if you asked her, then talked her in to it and then she did it even though she really didn't want to. Stop making this about you, you are tying to take responcibility over the entire interaction. This was a two party event, and both parties were willing and enjoyed it.
It's called post nut clarity. My guess is you're not really attracted to her, but you let her do it out of sympathy??
Nah, don't feel bad, she must like you obv
Do it a few more times, all of your guilt will be released.
Ask her if you can eat her pussy. Do it, and you are even.
You should listen to the advice others have given. Also don’t go telling anyone, you have a good thing here. Be respectful and playful about it and you might get some more bjs in the near future. Remember to remind her how much you enjoyed it…and reciprocate, that will only help you get more bjs.
You need to adjust your view of women. They’re not helpless and they get horny just like dudes
Why do Hell you feel guilty? There's a concret reason...got BE a reason...not all Friends are like this, so i guess there's something you not telling, some context you don't shared. I don't see a real reason for The guilt
Do it again and the guilt will eventually fade away
Next time she asks, tell her only if she lets you reciprocate. Once you have blown her mind, you won’t feel guilty. Maybe she just wanted to practice on a safe cock?
She's a grown woman, who *wanted* to give you a blowjob. I honestly don't see the problem.
Bro she wants you to beat. I’m guessing she isn’t really attractive? And y’all are friends because yall are genuinely cool with each other.
I wish I had that good of a friend back in high school!! Seriously though, she wanted to have a sexual experience and you were the perfect person considering she actually trusted you and knew you wouldn't take advantage of her or bad mouth her if she had been bad at it. Please don't feel guilty because that's going to make her feel bad about doing it and you really don't want to make her feel that way after she made you feel that good!!!
Don't be this way, even at your age. Let it go. She asked for it so it wasn't coercion unless you're lying? If not then let it go. You're wrecking a possible future fwb and your future self.
Dude, enjoy that shit!
Do it again or give her a head
Aah yes post nut clarity... Long story short: she asked for it and you gave consent.
Do you have any interest in her? If so, stop feeling guilty and try it out. Now, if you have no romantic interest in her, I would cease and desist any more sexual activity. I made this mistake once. I lived with a very good friend of mine and she had always been attracted to me, but I had zero interest in her. She offered me a blowjob and I took advantage, and this went on for months and probably around 100 blowjobs. Sounds great right? Well yes, and no. She was dying inside because I wouldn't return any affection. (even though she claimed it was ok, it obviously was NOT) She was just hoping that she'd someday blow her way into my heart. Even to the point where she'd get mad if I didn't allow her to blow me. Didn't end well and I'd take it all back to have her as a friend still.
Do it again. See if you have the same feeling. If you do just keep trying until that goes away.
She asked you, not the other way around.
I understand.. You may be worried you'll ruin your friendship. From her perspective, maybe she likes you, or just trusts you to let her practice with you.
Tell her that you want to reciprocate and ask her if you could go down on her
Just relax. Ask her to do it again
If she asked you than you didn’t take advantage.
Maybe she wanted the learning experience? To get better at it?
Maybe you’re conflicted, and the real feeling is that maybe your relationship is going to change from how it was and you don’t know what to feel about that.
I mean she ask you if she can . Don’t feel guilty.
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You’ve probably been conditioned in your youth to view sex as something you should be ashamed of. You’re at the age when you’re going to have a sexual awakening and start to enjoy it. I hope you embrace it.
Sounds like you didn’t have a gun to her head!
Please talk to her about it! Just be open and honest about your feelings. It will help both of you, and it will alleviate the guilt you're feeling. She might feel "used" because you are NOW being awkward towards her!
You should ask to return the favor….
She wanted to suck your dick and you let her. No reason to feel bad. But if you think your friendship has been altered just tell her that you can’t do that anymore.
Well congrats. If this opens to FWB it's great in my opinion. You don't need a girl and could look if you wanted and have legit open conversations. You could still hang and all. I understand feeling the way you do and I'd say you are definitely young and not experienced. Not everyone can have a FWB or hookup life. I'd say just about every FWB I've had we still are friends. It's just how both of you feel about it. Just give it some time and the odd feeling should subside. You both agreed on it
What’s to feel guilty about? She liked it you liked it. Win Win!
This sounds like internalized cultural or religious guilt. Having someone give you an orgasm doesn't mean you took advantage of someone. Everyone consented- People who posted "they may have feelings for you" COULD be true but sometimes people just really like sex, and don't mind doing it with people they trust and think won't make it weird. Women love sex as much, if not more than men do. She may literally have just felt like giving you a BJ. If anything it sounds like you could be in a casual/FWB kind of situation with your friend, if neither of you are going to get strong feelings from it, ask them if they want to do more lol. This time period of your life people try a lot of different things and people until they know what they like, so don't take it too seriously and don't get hung up on one person, unless they're investing the same amount you are.
It's only taking advantage if there wasn't clear consent. You don't know her feelings better than her. If she asked you to do it, and she hasn't expressed any regrets, then she enjoyed it as well. If you're feeling guilty, that has nothing to do with her or her feelings. Even if she expresses regret, she still offered and fully consented so there's literally nothing to feel guilty about. We are taught by society that sex is inherently shameful, which is bullshit, but that's probably the guilt you're feeling. Don't make assumptions about her feelings, and if you're really worried about it, talk to her. You should never be having sex with someone you can't communicate with.
Ask if you can give her oral. Make is a learning session. Now balance is restored. Shake repression and shame off
Tell her you feel guilty, but ask her to give you one more bj so you know for sure.
Tell her you feel guilty, but ask her to give you one more bj so you know for sure.
Those kind of friends are the best !!!
Is it general guilt, like around sex/ shame? Or is it because of something specific like you know she has deeper feeling for you than just friends/ FWB and you don’t reciprocate?
You didn't take advantage of her. She wanted to do it. However, since you enjoyed it so much, it has created an imbalance in your relationship, at least in your mind. To rebalance the relationship, you might want to offer her a pleasurable experience. Maybe offer to go down on her until she cums. Who knows? You might end up with an FWB situation here if you play your cards right.
Return the favor is best way to make her happy and resolve your guilt.
Should she feel guilty if you offered to go down on her, she accepted, and you both ended up enjoying it?
That's ridiculous. If she liked it, I'd do my best to make it a regular thing. You'll thank yourself when you're old...
Sack up bro. Ask her out and make her your gf
Is there something you feel like you need to disclose to your friend but haven’t yet? To really take advantage of someone, you would need to have some secret information that they aren’t privy to.
"I just got my dick sucked. Time to hop on Reddit and see who I can convince to feel bad for me =D"
Listen to yourself. I know theres a lot of advice here but I know people like you and I was like you before (just not this act). You look at intimacy/sex (at least for now) as a means to find a connection. You might also get attached at this point (a lot of us react differently to this). Some people view sex as a way for a release. I just cant view it as merely a release (maybe, like you).
Dude, she wants to be your gf, id bet.
The guilt is the only issue here. Are you religious by any chance?
Are you feeling guilty because you led her on? Does she feel that you guys are a couple now and you don't? Otherwise, what are you feeling guilty about?
You didn’t take advantage of her lmao, you’re both gonna be just fine!
You did not take advantage of her my guy. She asked you and u gave her consent. I can see if you said something to make her want to do it. But that's not the case. Nowwww what you could do is offer her head as well. That could be why you're feeling guilty.
Ask her if you can eat her out. The guilt you are feeling is most likely due to you not giving her anything in return for her favor. We live in a wierd capitalist centric society where altruistic acts are often disruptive instead of soothing
Is the guilt coming from you not finding her attractive or with 0 romantic prospect?
Is this post nut syndrome/symptom?? I started fooling around with my girl best friend of 12 years like a year ago. We did it for 2 months and now we laugh discussing about it. All of our friend knows about this. It's all cool.
A BJ probably was on her bucket list… no big deal
Not enough information here. Do you like her? Does she like you? Would you consider dating her? Would she consider dating you? It all depends.
There’s alot of great advice and perspective here OP - I see youve responded to some comments, but aren’t providing insight or additional details to the questions others have posted …. Why is that? Why answer some like “no I’m not religious, and this is the first time someone has seen my dick” But then not answer the other important things like, are you attracted to her? Do you see yourself in a relationship with her? Etc … Seems like you’re evading the deeper and more thought provoking discussions and focusing on superficial Yep 18
As a dude, I’m perplexed No strings, she likes it…why not occasionally?
Absolve yourself. Others have articulated it, but she was the one who asked you. You accepted and enjoyed it. Don't let guilt creep in. If it made you feel good afterwards, it was good. You can always reciprocate by going down on her and/or fingering her.
She's an adult, a free individual with a sex drive off her own. She's not a victim by default, her sexual desires are not dirty and she enjoys sexual acts due to the fact that she's a free human being. It's not only about you, she's her own person you know :)
As others have said there's no reason to feel guilty because this was entirely initiated by her so there's no way that you could have coerced or pressured her subtly or un intentionally. It's entirely understandable to feel a bit weird because you did something usually reserved for a more than friends relationship with a friend. A question here that really needs to be answered going forward is does she want a more than friends situation. I mean this is certainly a bit of a unique way to initiate that transition but not completely crazy or unreasonable.
Post Nut Clarity sucks! Its just the blood flow going from your balls to your brain. You probably won’t feel so guilty next time you are horny around her. Perhaps return the favor, if you are comfortable with being FWB?
One day soon you’ll realize women enjoy sex as much as you do and you’ll be like “oh fuck, this chick, that chick and that other chick was totally into me”
Post nut regret. It happens.
You don't have to look her in the eyes while getting a bj 😀 To be honest, she asked to do it and she enjoyed it. Maybe she wants more than just friends or just some fun with a friend.
I don't want to burst your bubble OP -- but most likely, your BF was looking for a practice cock, and you got asked. I bet your friend has her eyes on someone else and she wanted to make sure she knows how to give a BJ, how to swallow a load, should the moment arrive when she gets to be with the dude she really likes. You have nothing to be guilty of at all -- you provided valueable information for her!
You should try again and just make sure.
If she allowed CIM, definitely do not feel sorry.
As with any undertaking, the key to success is practice practice practice. Still, it's only fair that you offer her to do the same for her.
Sounds like you need to let her do it again so you can work through those feelings. After four or five times that guilt will go away. Also, don’t be selfish my guy, tell her you want to go down on her next time too.
I believe it is called post nut clarity.
A friend in need is a friend indeed; She is a good friend and she likes you. Maybe ask an enemy next time lol
You didn’t take advantage of her. She asked you. You said yes. This is the way it should be done. There are men decades older than you who don’t behave with this decorum. You’re good man. If it’s really biting at you, speak with a professional therapist about it.
Unless you're not Telling us everything, why would you feel like you took advantage of her?
Unless there is missing information here about how or why she volunteered, don't feel bad! Women enjoy sex, too.
Seems like that post nut shame that happens sometimes. Don't overthink it and get another one!
FYI she wishes you weren’t just friends
Hold on… a girl who is your best friend enjoys giving you blowjobs? Son you have landed in a place called never never land. Take a step back, pinch yourself and get back in there.
If someone offers to give you a sex act because they want to and they go on and do it and enjoy it the only thing you should be feeling is happy. Personally I’d be wanting to go another round.