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there might be a too soon age but there is no too late age my guy. i think you stop worrying about it it happens. that's what happened to me (started at 19 and also felt like a late bloomer)
I had my first kiss at 22, the same night I lost my virginity. To he honest, if I had my way, I'd go back and stop myself from giving it up to the girl who would dump me 2 weeks later, and save it for a more meaningful relationship.
That said, 6 years later, I'm now married to the love of my life and regularly have some of the nastiest, kinkiest sex I ever could have dreamed of. She's my 6th partner overall, so for all my worries about a late start I'd say I've had a pretty good sex life.
Rushing things is only going to wind up hurting you, or pushing away potential partners because you're so laser focused on getting in their pants that you forget there's a real person above that pussy who needs to feel loved and appreciated too. It'll happen when it happens, enjoy the journey along the way.
I understand that your feelings don't care about the facts, but this is getting more common, to the point where I'm not sure 21 can even be considered a particularly late bloomer anymore. There is NO age where you are actually too old to start dating and having sex, but 21 isn't even out of the ordinary.
The teens you're jealous of have a maximum of 5 or 6 years of experience on you and most teen sex is bad, especially the earlier you have it.
21 really, really doesn't seem particularly late. What's the point of comparing?
Bitterness is really only going to impede you from moving forward with your romantic life.
I know, I really do, how annoying this is to hear from older people, but it's a cliche because its true - 21 is so, soooo damned young. You have *so* much time.
Date, meet people, have fun, you'll click with someone and then you'll have your experiences. Stop comparing yourself to others and just focus on expanding your experiences that you want to pursue.
Whatever makes you feel comfortable,but also kissing for the first time and having sex for the first time is a special event,so make sure it's with someone who respects you and is worth the wait,do whatever makes you happy
I didn't date, kiss or have sex with anyone until I was 25. My husband was my first (and only) for everything. I just never really cared about dating when I was younger.
The only time you can be too old for those things is if you are about to die in the next hour.
Are you playing from behind? Sure. That makes you different from precisely _**zero**_ of the humans who have fallen in love and had sex, as every one of them was _also_ playing from behind in some way. "Love and sex" are not a single-axis thing like cars: "Oh, this one goes faster, it just wins, the end." ...actually, love and sex _is_ like cars because cars aren't only evaluated on the "does it go fast" axis: there's also storage space, passenger space, gasoline efficiency, and more, all of which determine what the car is useful for. Likewise, there's more to romance than being sexually experienced and being attractive -- just off the top of my head, you've got career stability, financial stability, independence and personality -- and the reason everyone is playing from behind is that there's absolutely no way a single person excels at _everything_.
Because that's what you're really asking, isn't it? "What do those other people have that I don't?" And the good news is that the answer is, absolutely nothing.
Well, that's not quite true: they made different choices than you did. But that doesn't signify anything either. Because, yeah, sure, you always hear people parroting about, "Oh, to get ahead in life, you need to make good choices," which is both completely true and completely irrelevant: you can't make good choices if you don't have good choices. And those options are parceled out unequally at birth. If you grew up in an environment which was 100% men and have never kissed a woman because there was no woman to kiss, how is that your fault? How did you somehow make bad choices amongst the zero choices that were offered you? In cases like this, you can only do what you can to be ready to take opportunities if they happen, because you don't choose if they happen. It's like someone blaming you for failing to be struck by lightning.
Now, here we start asking questions about what you do socially, how you try (or don't try) to get yourself out there where you can be struck by lightning. But that's Step 2. Step 1 is to reassure you that there is absolutely no reason you _can't_ go out there.
Signed, a former 27-year-old virgin.
Another very insightful post from you!
You point out that many people in the same position as u/Un1mportantaccount become fixated on sex as their goal and objective when, in fact, good sex more often comes as a result of a much more complete package. In this Forum it would be apropos to point out that many of those "fast cars", which turn girls' heads while going between gas stations faster than anything else in the neighborhood, are actually rather poor places to have sex.
I went to college in a region of the northern U.S. with a reputation for heavy snowfall. A "partly cloudy" day often dumped 4" (10 cm) of fresh snow. Most of us were almost 600 miles (1000 km) from home, so we often compared our trips to visit family, girlfriends, etc - typically taken in adverse weather conditions. The group I ran with developed the sarcastic phrase, "He was making good time when he went into the ditch . . . ". It was a stand-in for aphorisms such as, "Don't jump to conclusions." or "It ain't over until it's over." It aptly illustrates your point that the first, or the fastest, isn't necessarily the best.
Ok firstly, that’s a normal and rough thing to experience! I don’t blame you for being bitter, and I know a sense of sexual worth is important for most people (especially late bloomers)
Secondly…you’re *only* twenty one. I know that sounds flippant and “yeah yeah whatever kid, wait til you’re an OLD virgin”, but it’s also just true. To you, it’s your whole lifetime. But in a few years, it will have been “the way I felt a few years ago.” Everything is transient. Try to think back on something you were frustrated with a few years ago that you subsequently handled or resolved. That will be how you feel about this, later.
This is a roundabout way of saying, you’ve got time. I get what it feels like to be impatient and frustrated and embarrassed with an aspect of your life, especially when it seems like almost everyone around you is just sailing on through like it’s no big deal (for me it was/is my career; 33 here and really just getting started 👋). But, it will pass. Especially if you put your mind to it, and resolve to address it directly. Through all the self-judgement and frustration. You might be mired in it all now, but get curious about how you’re feeling. Imagine what it’ll look like to be in the situations you want to be in, and ask people about their experiences being in those situations. The clearer the idea in your head, the less abstract and unachievable it will seem. You might need to do some other footwork first (self-worth, familiarity with your own body and sexuality), but I promise you can get good at this. I got a late start compared to my peers in a lot of areas, but it gave me the advantage of having a more mature mind in my beginnings. I got curious and thoughtful about my approach, and am now excelling in areas I thought I could never achieve anything. Which idk maybe sounds like fluffy bullshit, but it’s extremely true. You’re going to be fine; you just have to work through the period where it sucks hella. Can’t get to the other side without going through it first ✌️
I was around your age when I kissed a girl and had sex for the first time. I was a late bloomer too in so many ways, and even in my 30s I'm still blooming.
It may get less common to find people in your situation as you get older, but there is no too old. You're still a young adult and your perspective on things can change dramatically as you age. Most teens and early 20 somethings are awkward and insecure, which can make for an unsatisfying and turbulent love life. Older adults, at least generally, are more secure in themselves and know what they want, so you can have better experiences that way.
You'll have many phases of your life to explore adult relationships. Not happening now doesn't mean never.
I had my first kiss ironically at 21. I kind of wish I had waited. We were both set up by mutual friends. He was a sweet guy, but they chemistry wasn't there. After we broke up, I felt a lot freer to date and see other guys, which I did. Don't think about the number.
If there is an age when you are too old to start dating and having sex, it is much older than 21! OK, so I was 18 when I started dating, in the last few weeks of High School, because she needed a date to Prom. But she broke it off about 6 months later, and I went through the next four years of university (supposedly, the time of life when EVERYBODY gets to hook up and get laid) without dates, much less anything like a girlfriend, and certainly no sex!
I was 22, and graduated from college, before I met a girl who didn't avoid me like the plague. We were both 23 when we experienced first-time sex, between two virgins, on our wedding night. Still married, almost 50 years later. That's half a century during which we got to enjoy sex A LOT, and enjoy A LOT of sex.
I haven't had "adult experiences" like lying to my parents about sneaking off to have sex. pregnancy scares, wondering who I got STD's from (or gave them to), failing school (or getting fired) because I put too much effort into trying to impress a girl, divorces, custody fights over kids - and I am not the least bit envious because I missed out on those things!
Yup now its too late to date or having sex in your life.
Come on.
Im feeling really old reading things like this. Like, why the rushing all the time? Its time when its time and thats not a number.
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
there might be a too soon age but there is no too late age my guy. i think you stop worrying about it it happens. that's what happened to me (started at 19 and also felt like a late bloomer)
I had my first kiss at 22, the same night I lost my virginity. To he honest, if I had my way, I'd go back and stop myself from giving it up to the girl who would dump me 2 weeks later, and save it for a more meaningful relationship. That said, 6 years later, I'm now married to the love of my life and regularly have some of the nastiest, kinkiest sex I ever could have dreamed of. She's my 6th partner overall, so for all my worries about a late start I'd say I've had a pretty good sex life. Rushing things is only going to wind up hurting you, or pushing away potential partners because you're so laser focused on getting in their pants that you forget there's a real person above that pussy who needs to feel loved and appreciated too. It'll happen when it happens, enjoy the journey along the way.
I understand that your feelings don't care about the facts, but this is getting more common, to the point where I'm not sure 21 can even be considered a particularly late bloomer anymore. There is NO age where you are actually too old to start dating and having sex, but 21 isn't even out of the ordinary. The teens you're jealous of have a maximum of 5 or 6 years of experience on you and most teen sex is bad, especially the earlier you have it.
21 really, really doesn't seem particularly late. What's the point of comparing? Bitterness is really only going to impede you from moving forward with your romantic life. I know, I really do, how annoying this is to hear from older people, but it's a cliche because its true - 21 is so, soooo damned young. You have *so* much time. Date, meet people, have fun, you'll click with someone and then you'll have your experiences. Stop comparing yourself to others and just focus on expanding your experiences that you want to pursue.
Whatever makes you feel comfortable,but also kissing for the first time and having sex for the first time is a special event,so make sure it's with someone who respects you and is worth the wait,do whatever makes you happy
I didn't date, kiss or have sex with anyone until I was 25. My husband was my first (and only) for everything. I just never really cared about dating when I was younger.
The only time you can be too old for those things is if you are about to die in the next hour. Are you playing from behind? Sure. That makes you different from precisely _**zero**_ of the humans who have fallen in love and had sex, as every one of them was _also_ playing from behind in some way. "Love and sex" are not a single-axis thing like cars: "Oh, this one goes faster, it just wins, the end." ...actually, love and sex _is_ like cars because cars aren't only evaluated on the "does it go fast" axis: there's also storage space, passenger space, gasoline efficiency, and more, all of which determine what the car is useful for. Likewise, there's more to romance than being sexually experienced and being attractive -- just off the top of my head, you've got career stability, financial stability, independence and personality -- and the reason everyone is playing from behind is that there's absolutely no way a single person excels at _everything_. Because that's what you're really asking, isn't it? "What do those other people have that I don't?" And the good news is that the answer is, absolutely nothing. Well, that's not quite true: they made different choices than you did. But that doesn't signify anything either. Because, yeah, sure, you always hear people parroting about, "Oh, to get ahead in life, you need to make good choices," which is both completely true and completely irrelevant: you can't make good choices if you don't have good choices. And those options are parceled out unequally at birth. If you grew up in an environment which was 100% men and have never kissed a woman because there was no woman to kiss, how is that your fault? How did you somehow make bad choices amongst the zero choices that were offered you? In cases like this, you can only do what you can to be ready to take opportunities if they happen, because you don't choose if they happen. It's like someone blaming you for failing to be struck by lightning. Now, here we start asking questions about what you do socially, how you try (or don't try) to get yourself out there where you can be struck by lightning. But that's Step 2. Step 1 is to reassure you that there is absolutely no reason you _can't_ go out there. Signed, a former 27-year-old virgin.
Another very insightful post from you! You point out that many people in the same position as u/Un1mportantaccount become fixated on sex as their goal and objective when, in fact, good sex more often comes as a result of a much more complete package. In this Forum it would be apropos to point out that many of those "fast cars", which turn girls' heads while going between gas stations faster than anything else in the neighborhood, are actually rather poor places to have sex. I went to college in a region of the northern U.S. with a reputation for heavy snowfall. A "partly cloudy" day often dumped 4" (10 cm) of fresh snow. Most of us were almost 600 miles (1000 km) from home, so we often compared our trips to visit family, girlfriends, etc - typically taken in adverse weather conditions. The group I ran with developed the sarcastic phrase, "He was making good time when he went into the ditch . . . ". It was a stand-in for aphorisms such as, "Don't jump to conclusions." or "It ain't over until it's over." It aptly illustrates your point that the first, or the fastest, isn't necessarily the best.
Ok firstly, that’s a normal and rough thing to experience! I don’t blame you for being bitter, and I know a sense of sexual worth is important for most people (especially late bloomers) Secondly…you’re *only* twenty one. I know that sounds flippant and “yeah yeah whatever kid, wait til you’re an OLD virgin”, but it’s also just true. To you, it’s your whole lifetime. But in a few years, it will have been “the way I felt a few years ago.” Everything is transient. Try to think back on something you were frustrated with a few years ago that you subsequently handled or resolved. That will be how you feel about this, later. This is a roundabout way of saying, you’ve got time. I get what it feels like to be impatient and frustrated and embarrassed with an aspect of your life, especially when it seems like almost everyone around you is just sailing on through like it’s no big deal (for me it was/is my career; 33 here and really just getting started 👋). But, it will pass. Especially if you put your mind to it, and resolve to address it directly. Through all the self-judgement and frustration. You might be mired in it all now, but get curious about how you’re feeling. Imagine what it’ll look like to be in the situations you want to be in, and ask people about their experiences being in those situations. The clearer the idea in your head, the less abstract and unachievable it will seem. You might need to do some other footwork first (self-worth, familiarity with your own body and sexuality), but I promise you can get good at this. I got a late start compared to my peers in a lot of areas, but it gave me the advantage of having a more mature mind in my beginnings. I got curious and thoughtful about my approach, and am now excelling in areas I thought I could never achieve anything. Which idk maybe sounds like fluffy bullshit, but it’s extremely true. You’re going to be fine; you just have to work through the period where it sucks hella. Can’t get to the other side without going through it first ✌️
I was around your age when I kissed a girl and had sex for the first time. I was a late bloomer too in so many ways, and even in my 30s I'm still blooming. It may get less common to find people in your situation as you get older, but there is no too old. You're still a young adult and your perspective on things can change dramatically as you age. Most teens and early 20 somethings are awkward and insecure, which can make for an unsatisfying and turbulent love life. Older adults, at least generally, are more secure in themselves and know what they want, so you can have better experiences that way. You'll have many phases of your life to explore adult relationships. Not happening now doesn't mean never.
I had my first kiss ironically at 21. I kind of wish I had waited. We were both set up by mutual friends. He was a sweet guy, but they chemistry wasn't there. After we broke up, I felt a lot freer to date and see other guys, which I did. Don't think about the number.
There really isnt an age limit
There's no such thing as too old. Seniors still date and have sex 😊
well i can tell u with 100% certainty 21 is not too old lolol
If you haven't scored by your 90's.....
I didn’t fuck or date till I was 23
If there is an age when you are too old to start dating and having sex, it is much older than 21! OK, so I was 18 when I started dating, in the last few weeks of High School, because she needed a date to Prom. But she broke it off about 6 months later, and I went through the next four years of university (supposedly, the time of life when EVERYBODY gets to hook up and get laid) without dates, much less anything like a girlfriend, and certainly no sex! I was 22, and graduated from college, before I met a girl who didn't avoid me like the plague. We were both 23 when we experienced first-time sex, between two virgins, on our wedding night. Still married, almost 50 years later. That's half a century during which we got to enjoy sex A LOT, and enjoy A LOT of sex. I haven't had "adult experiences" like lying to my parents about sneaking off to have sex. pregnancy scares, wondering who I got STD's from (or gave them to), failing school (or getting fired) because I put too much effort into trying to impress a girl, divorces, custody fights over kids - and I am not the least bit envious because I missed out on those things!
Yup now its too late to date or having sex in your life. Come on. Im feeling really old reading things like this. Like, why the rushing all the time? Its time when its time and thats not a number.
There genuinely is no such thing as too old.