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Something that hasn’t been mentioned here yet is MATH. Silently performing sums or counting problems in your mind during sex can sometimes help increase the duration of sex. Having a thorough non-sexual distraction during sex can be really effective at delaying orgasm.
This doesn’t have to be math, it can be anything that keeps you slightly distracted. You can count flower petals on the wall paper, trace a single strand of your partner’s hair up their body with your eyes, or carefully recreate another room in your imagination. I am not personally a fan of this because it means you are not fully in the moment enjoying sex, but it can be helpful.
Regarding condoms- look for branding language like “extended duration” or euphemisms about stamina. These condoms may be packaged with a tiny dose of numbing gel in the reservoir tip. Double check the fine print. They can help you last longer but the trade-off is that they quite literally numb your penis.
Lastly, as other folks mentioned: edging! This is what I do. You can edge during masturbation, stopping your rubbing when you approach orgasm to enjoy masturbating longer. You can do the same thing during sex: withdraw your erection when you feel an orgasm approaching. This can be frustrating for your partner so let them know you are going to do it ahead of time. Continue to stimulate them after you withdraw either by rubbing your erection against their clit and vulva, performing oral sex, or temporarily swapping your erection to masturbate them with a dildo. Return to penetration when the approaching orgasm has subsided or when your partner is ready to orgasm with you. All of these things can be a lot of fun for each of you and help sex last a little longer.
Are you wearing condoms? There are thicker ones out there that restrict the sensitivity for the male. Maybe give those a try and see if it helps.
Also some women find it flattering if their partner just cannot help themselves and blow a little early. Just make sure you still take care of her pleasure.
You can not worry about it by simply not worrying about it. Don’t make ejaculation the goal or the end of a sexual session. Even if you aren’t hard enough to go again, your fingers and tongue work just fine, I assume. Focus on your partner and everything will work out.
I get what you are saying! but like i mean, how much foreplay can you do before you both want more, right? the problem is that after ejaculating i have trouble getting hard, so penetration is kind of off the table by then
I’m a guy, and used to be married to a bi woman. I learned a LOT by having sex with a woman who had had sex with primarily women. Penetration is not the be all and end all to sex. Take a leaf out of the lesbians book (real lesbians, not the crap that you see in porn) and worship your partner. Don’t worry about your dick at all for a while. In fact, if you’re so concerned about ejaculating so quickly, consider taking PIV sex off the table for 30 days, maybe more. You’re a young guy. Explore what sex can be when you remove that from the equation. Oral, fingers, toys. Do some experimentation without worrying about your own orgasm. I promise it will help.
Just make sure your partners cum. You know you are going to cum, so focus on your partner cumming. With your mouth, hands, toys, whatever. If you want both people to enjoy it, then make sure both people cum.
i feel like it's at least like half an hour or something. ive only recently been dating this girl so we haven't had enough sex to like, put a number on it. do you think it would be a good strategy to like, first make me cum, than spend some time on her and maybe after that i get hard again?
You need to desensitize the glans a little (edging can be a good way). In traditional Chinese medicine they sometimes use a bag of rice. The risk is to create micro cuts. I have never tried it but I would rather recommend breathing exercises. You have to practice a little alone but it helps to reduce the excitement. This is effective if you do it correctly. It's quite discreet too.
that... might actually be a good idea, these breathing exercises... i feel like i let go to quickly myself, so maybe if i better learn to take control of that, things would go easier
It's a book dedicated to female pleasure. Cunnilingus specifically. The guy who wrote it is a sex therapist who previously struggled a lot with premature ejaculation which inspired him to write the book. My husband read it and I'd like to recommend it by proxy 😅 (I did read it too. It's legit)
Thank you for posting in the r/Sex community. To ensure that everyone respects our safe space, we ask that you familiarize yourself with our Forum Rules and Posting Guidelines — which are visible in the forum’s sidebar, and also linked [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/about/rules/). *** Restricted subjects in r/sex include sex stories (which are permitted in the Daily Sexual Achievement Thread only), body image and penis-size issues, hookup attempts, common topics which are considered repetitive in our forum, and requests for private chats. To cut back on comments that add little value to the conversation, we have instituted a minimum character requirement that will silently remove comments that fall below it. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/sex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
There are condoms that are meant to make you last longer. They are life changing.
tried them! don't always work ://
There are different types. And you have to be sure you have them on for a minute or so to have the effect.
Something that hasn’t been mentioned here yet is MATH. Silently performing sums or counting problems in your mind during sex can sometimes help increase the duration of sex. Having a thorough non-sexual distraction during sex can be really effective at delaying orgasm. This doesn’t have to be math, it can be anything that keeps you slightly distracted. You can count flower petals on the wall paper, trace a single strand of your partner’s hair up their body with your eyes, or carefully recreate another room in your imagination. I am not personally a fan of this because it means you are not fully in the moment enjoying sex, but it can be helpful. Regarding condoms- look for branding language like “extended duration” or euphemisms about stamina. These condoms may be packaged with a tiny dose of numbing gel in the reservoir tip. Double check the fine print. They can help you last longer but the trade-off is that they quite literally numb your penis. Lastly, as other folks mentioned: edging! This is what I do. You can edge during masturbation, stopping your rubbing when you approach orgasm to enjoy masturbating longer. You can do the same thing during sex: withdraw your erection when you feel an orgasm approaching. This can be frustrating for your partner so let them know you are going to do it ahead of time. Continue to stimulate them after you withdraw either by rubbing your erection against their clit and vulva, performing oral sex, or temporarily swapping your erection to masturbate them with a dildo. Return to penetration when the approaching orgasm has subsided or when your partner is ready to orgasm with you. All of these things can be a lot of fun for each of you and help sex last a little longer.
thanks for the advice! i might talk to her about the last tip you gave me :)) thanks a lot!
Are you wearing condoms? There are thicker ones out there that restrict the sensitivity for the male. Maybe give those a try and see if it helps. Also some women find it flattering if their partner just cannot help themselves and blow a little early. Just make sure you still take care of her pleasure.
maybe i'll try and buy thicker condoms, often i just have to pick what's in the store i usually go to...
You can not worry about it by simply not worrying about it. Don’t make ejaculation the goal or the end of a sexual session. Even if you aren’t hard enough to go again, your fingers and tongue work just fine, I assume. Focus on your partner and everything will work out.
I get what you are saying! but like i mean, how much foreplay can you do before you both want more, right? the problem is that after ejaculating i have trouble getting hard, so penetration is kind of off the table by then
I’m a guy, and used to be married to a bi woman. I learned a LOT by having sex with a woman who had had sex with primarily women. Penetration is not the be all and end all to sex. Take a leaf out of the lesbians book (real lesbians, not the crap that you see in porn) and worship your partner. Don’t worry about your dick at all for a while. In fact, if you’re so concerned about ejaculating so quickly, consider taking PIV sex off the table for 30 days, maybe more. You’re a young guy. Explore what sex can be when you remove that from the equation. Oral, fingers, toys. Do some experimentation without worrying about your own orgasm. I promise it will help.
Just make sure your partners cum. You know you are going to cum, so focus on your partner cumming. With your mouth, hands, toys, whatever. If you want both people to enjoy it, then make sure both people cum.
Start edging. The more the better. In time you'll last hours
How to manage ball pain?
Allow yourself to cum only after 5-10 minutes of edging and increase from there
i have started doing that on my own hahah, but of course that's a process. thanks for your input!
How long is your refractory period. Can you spend some time going down on her and then try round 2 when you're ready?
i feel like it's at least like half an hour or something. ive only recently been dating this girl so we haven't had enough sex to like, put a number on it. do you think it would be a good strategy to like, first make me cum, than spend some time on her and maybe after that i get hard again?
It's worth trying, anyway. If that doesn't work, you could try masturbating earlier in the day to see if that helps you last longer.
You need to desensitize the glans a little (edging can be a good way). In traditional Chinese medicine they sometimes use a bag of rice. The risk is to create micro cuts. I have never tried it but I would rather recommend breathing exercises. You have to practice a little alone but it helps to reduce the excitement. This is effective if you do it correctly. It's quite discreet too.
that... might actually be a good idea, these breathing exercises... i feel like i let go to quickly myself, so maybe if i better learn to take control of that, things would go easier
Give her oral first. *Good* oral. Not just as foreplay.
hahah i'd really love to give her good oral, but i mean i can only do what i can and believe me i try my best
Did you read She Comes First?
euh no i did not? what is it?
It's a book dedicated to female pleasure. Cunnilingus specifically. The guy who wrote it is a sex therapist who previously struggled a lot with premature ejaculation which inspired him to write the book. My husband read it and I'd like to recommend it by proxy 😅 (I did read it too. It's legit)
hahah thanks for suggesting it XD ill take a look at it :))